Fading Away
by Shad0whuntress
Summary: Me for my little sister's freedom. That was the only bargain he would accept. I'm now a prisoner on Neverland, where he is trying to mold me into a weapon. I promised my sister I would escape, but I have to do it fast. Because if I can't escape, I won't be able to do anything but fade away.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouat, or any of it's characters. Only my Original Characters and the plot.**

* * *

When I get out of school (_finally_), I'm loaded.

_Thank God it's Friday, or else I wouldn't be able to get any sleep tonight. _

As soon as I'm home, the phone starts ringing.

I know that the only person who would know I'm home at this exact moment is Mom. She called before I even put my stuff down.

_Honestly, this is getting out of hand! It was bad enough that she's never home, now she knows _exactly_ when I come home._

I pick the phone off the hook, and press the answer button.

"Hey, Mom!" I say, trying to keep the resentment out of voice.

"Jess? Oh, thank God, at least someone is picking up the phone!"

She sounds exasperated. Not a good sign. Somehow, I how I'm spending my Friday night.

"Don't tell me," I guess, with a sigh. "Another rough client?"

"Very rough, but very important," she replies. Same answer as always. "Would you do me a huge favor and-"

"Pick up Abby, make her dinner, get her homework done, and put her to bed by nine," I finish. Just as I have done all week. And last week. And the week before that.

"Would you? Oh, thank you, sweetheart."

"No problem," I reply, holding back a sigh. "See you tonight."

If she even leaves the office before I'm in bed.

I hang up, let out the sigh I was holding, and get back into my car. I have to try very hard not to scream in frustration.

_It shouldn't be this way. Yeah, Dad left, and that took a toll on all of us. But, if anything, Mom should be there for me and Abby now. We lost Dad, and we need her more than ever. Instead, she's thrown herself in her work, and left Abby and I to take care of ourselves._

It's not that I don't like Abby. Shoot, I love that kid more than anything. But, I shouldn't have to be a parent to her. That's Mom's job. And when she's been having me take care of Abby ever since Dad left, suddenly my plans became unimportant. I'm seventeen, for crying out loud! I have a life!

But, if I want to spend the night at Roxanne's or go see a movie with Dom? Forget it, Mom is too busy with an important client, and she's relying on me to be her big girl that she can rely on. She doesn't even realize how much Abby and I need her right now, and at times, I don't think she cares.

I force myself to focus on the road, and put my angry thoughts aside. As I'm driving to Abby's grade school, I get a prickly feeling, like someone watching me. But as I look around the road, none but the other drivers are giving me as much as a glance.

I shrug the feeling aside, and pull into the parking lot of Abby's school.

I see her waiting on a bench, with her Hello Kitty backpack beside her. She sees me get out of the car, and immediately stands up and grins.

She has my light brown hair, and blue eyes, but she prefers to wear her hair back in pigtails, while I just wear my hair up.

She waits until I walk to the bench to hug me.

She's only seven, but she is already concerned about driving safety. It's her goal to be valedictorian of her driver's-ed class.

"Hey, Jess," she says happily.

I hug her back. I don't care what stares I get. This is my baby sister, it's not like I'm forbidden to love her.

"How was school?" I ask as we make our way to the car.

"Fun," she replies. "We learned about camouflage in science, and Thomas Jefferson in history. We painted pictures in art too."

She climbs in the backseat as we drive away.

"What pictures?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Penguins on ice," she replies. "But mine came out horrible."

She says it so casually I know there's no point in arguing. Abby is convinced she is the worst artist, but best reader in her class. That may have something to do with me.

After we get home, we spend a few minutes eating our favorite after school snack, apple slices and peanut butter, and she begs me to read her more of _The Silver Chair. _

I pull the book out of my bookcase while she fixes me some water with ice, so I can read without my throat hurting.

When I was reading her _Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe, _my voice gave out during the battle, and she had to wait a full twenty-four hours to see if Aslan killed the White Witch.

I sit down across the table from her, and begin reading.

"The instant the prisoner was free, he crossed the room in a single bound, seized his own sword (which had been taken from him and laid on the table) and drew it. 'You first!' he cried and fell upon the silver chair..."

Abby's eyes widen with delight as she listens to the next chapter of Jill, Eustace, Puddleglum, and Rilian. And, before I know it, I'm totally absorbed in the book as well. I finally have to call a stopping point to make dinner, and start to make some mac-and-cheese.

As we wait for the water to boil, we go back to Narnia, and I have to end the story on a cliffhanger, with Jill being dragged out the hole, so I can drain the pasta.

After dinner, I do dishes while Abby goes to take a bath.

When I'm done, I spend some time with my book. It's already dark out, and I'm itching to write some more. In only a few words, I become lost in my writing of Snow White, and her flight from the Evil Queen Regina.

_The thief cried out in terror as a net suddenly came up from under her, entrapping her. _

_Had Regina finally caught her? Had all her work to run away been for nothing? She didn't want to die, not now!  
There was a small, triumphant laugh, and someone emerged from behind the trees. Not Regina, but the prince she had robbed. _

_"I told you I would find you," he said, looking pleased with himself. "No matter where you go, I will always find you."_

_The thief grit her teeth, staring angrily at her captor. She had come too far, run too long, to be captured by some spoiled prince who couldn't stand a few shiny rocks of his getting stolen. _

_"Is this the only way you can get a woman?" she asked, keeping her voice calm. "By entrapping her?"_

_"It is the only way to catch thieving scum," shot back the prince._

_Snow let out a small snort of amusement at his banter._

_"Aren't you a real Prince-"_

"Jess!"

I stop, and turn to look upstairs, where Abby is supposed to be getting ready for bed. Alarms are going off in my head, and I know something is wrong.

"JESS!"

I get up and run up the stairs, to my sister's room.

"Abby!" I shout, finding the door closed.

I turn the handle, but it's locked. That's not possible. _Abby's door doesn't have a lock!_

"Abby, open the door!" I order.

Instead, all I hear is her whimpering.

Anger and fear course through me with adrenaline. Something is threatening my sister. Something bad.

Without thinking, I lift my foot, and kick the door open.

I run in, and a strange, twisted feeling washes over me as I see Abby whimpering in the corner.

I stop dead in my tracks, and gasp.

Hovering over her is a shadow. A disembodied shadow, with glowing eyes.

_What is that thing? How is it even real? _

Panic fills me, and I try not to scream. The thing looks like something out of a fairy tale book, how could it possibly be standing in front of me?

_Worse, what does it want with Abby?_

The shadow's arm is extended out to Abby, as if offering her its hand. Like it wants her to take its hand. Abby, however, is practically keeping her hands behind her back, trying to keep them as far away from the thing as possible.

Part of me wants to run away, but I refuse to abandon my sister. I'm not sure what it is, but just by being near the thing, I can tell it isn't good. Whatever it wants with Abby, it will end with her getting hurt. I cannot-_I will not_-let that happen.

I feel every part of my body shake, but I fight to remain calm. Being scared will not help. _Won't it?_

"Okay, Abby," I say, keeping my eyes fixed on the thing. At the sound of my voice, it looks up at me. It's as if its eyes look into me, and see my mind and soul and analyzes them like a science experiment. It still is extending its hand to Abby, gesturing her to take it.

_Oh, God. Oh, God, what is this thing?_

_No, I have to remain calm!_

"Abby, I want you to keep your eyes on that, but walk towards me very slowly," I say.

But what if that's the wrong thing to do? What if it's like a dog that sees looking it in the eyes as a challenge?

I need to take the chance. It hasn't hurt her or me yet, so I don't think it sees staring as a fight.

Abby slowly stands, and the shadow turns back to her, and looks at her. It follows her as she slowly backs away from it, and moves closer to me.

_God, what is this thing? How is it real? What does it want with my sister?_

She's whimpering, and I know that she's as scared as I am.

As she backs away slowly, towards me, the shadow doesn't react at all. Its eyes just follow her.

She is only ten steps from me...eight...five...three…

The shadow suddenly launches itself at my sister, and grabs her wrist.

She screams and tries to pull away, but the shadow floats to the window, and it opens its own.

"NO!"

I leap forward without thinking, adrenaline coursing through me, and grab Abby's other arm, pulling her back.

The shadow, whatever it is, is strong. It drags us to the window, and flies out, taking Abby with it. She somehow hovers beside it, but I don't care to look into the mechanics of it.

_Whatever this thing is, it's not taking her. I won't let it hurt my baby sister!_

"Jess!" cries Abby, as I pull her towards me, back into her room.

"Let go of her!" I yell at the thing, yanking at my sister's arm.

I don't care how long I have to pull, how much I may hurt. I cannot let this thing hurt Abby. Abby gives a small cry, and I double my efforts to pull her back in.

"YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER!" I shout, pulling my struggling sister into the room.

The shadow looks down at me, and I feel the piercing gaze again. But I grit my teeth, and refuse to let go.

_ Not Abby. Not my sister_. _Not when I can hold onto her, and save her. _

"Don't let go," pleads Abby.

_I won't. I refuse to let go of her hand, if it's the last thing I can do_.

Suddenly, the shadow's other hand reaches out, and slams into my chest, with enough force to stop a race car.

I'm thrown back across the room, and into the wall of the room.

"JESS!"

My breath is knocked out of my lungs, and everything is spinning.

I slide down the floor, as everything goes black.

The last thing I'm aware of is my baby sister's screams.

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**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT, or any of the characters from the show that are in this story. Oh, and thank you for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why not give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?**

* * *

_Something is very, very wrong._

Colors are swirling around me, and my head is spinning.

_This shouldn't be happening. It can't be happening._

It would be great if I could actually remember what is happening.

Something...important. Really important.

I try to get ahold of myself, but it's next to impossible. My head is killing me. If it would just stop spinning, maybe I could open my eyes.

But it feels like I've forgotten how to open my eyes. Or move my hands.

I can't even tell if my senses are working. I don't hear anything, I don't feel anything.

It's as if I'm lost in this blur, and I can't find anything. I'd move my hands if I could find them and remember how to use them. I'd open my eyes if I could find my eyelids, and remember how to see.

Maybe I'm dead? That would explain why I was worried. But I always thought death would be much more-I don't know-dramatic. Like the light at the end of the tunnel.

No, I'm not dead. I think my head's slowing down, and I think I hear...something.

Yeah, I'm starting feel something under my fingers. I'm not sure what, but it feels smooth and damp under my fingertips. And I can smell something too. I think I'm smelling something that goes with what I'm touching. The scent is familiar, but I can't remember where I've smelled it before.

_Dirt! That's what it is._

I feel a small surge of pride for figuring out that riddle, when I face a bigger one: why do I feel dirt?

And what am I feeling around my body?

Wrapped around, all with different textures...oh, right, clothing.

I can feel my clothes on me, my jeans, boots, tank top, and jean jacket.

_That's right._

I think my head has stopped spinning, but the spinning is replaced with a sudden, painful headache.

Groaning, I open my eyes, and try to start moving. I can see I'm lying on the ground. When did I lie down on the dirt?

It's hard. I can't get up without a wave of dizziness overwhelming me, but eventually, I get myself into a sitting position. The killer headache isn't helping either.

For what feels like hours, I stare blankly at my surroundings, not taking in anything. I finally make one conclusion: I'm in some sort of jungle.

One clear thought flashes in my head: _there are no jungles near home._

It's enough to jolt my senses a little. How did I end up here? Am I just dreaming?

If that's the case, then shouldn't I try waking up?

Slowly, I try pinching myself, hard. The pain is very real, but if anything, it helps everything come more into focus. I try slapping myself with similar results.

It's as if I can't wake up.

Panic surges through me, as I try to stand. Another dizzy spell attacks me, and I sit back down. But it does nothing to stop me from whipping my head around, trying to believe that it's not real.

_This is just a dream. A really bad dream. This can't be real!_

_It's just another dream,_ I tell myself, trying to calm down. _Remember, you were in the middle of writing..._

That's right, I was writing. Mom was staying late, and Abby was getting ready for bed. I was writing, and…

Suddenly, it all comes back to me, like a wave crashing on the shore.

That shadow thing. It took Abby. It took Abby and slammed me against the wall when I tried to stop it.

_So how did I end up in a jungle?_

I am really in a jungle. I don't know how I'm certain. Maybe it's the feeling that there is someone, or something, present in this place. Something neither good nor bad, but wild and powerful. Besides, I usually don't have this much awareness in my dreams.

I don't know how I got here, either. Maybe the shadow took me when it knocked me out. I don't know.

But I do know that it took Abby as well, and if it brought me here, then Abby's here also. I have to find her.

Strange plants brush past by legs as I run, but I take no notice. I'm aware that I have absolutely no idea where I am, but I don't care. My gut is telling me that Abby is here also. So, if I have to tear the jungle apart tree by tree, so help me, I will.

For what feels like hours, I wander aimlessly, shouting her name. Nothing. My shouts just fade into the darkness.

I don't know how long I search, but all I can think about is Abby, in the hands of that thing. Whatever it is, whatever its plans, when I find it, I'm going to tear it into two and shove the upper half up its own...

You know, I probably shouldn't finish that.

I suddenly become aware of a light, in the distance. It looks like a firelight.

Instinctively, I head towards it as fast as I can. The fire can have two options. Either Abby's there, and I can get her out, or she's not there and whoever built the fire can help me reach her.

I start running, knowing that whatever it is, I need to hurry and find my sister. It takes me longer than I would like, but eventually, I reach the clearing with the fire.

It seems to be some sort of camp, with a bunch of boys, dressed Robin Hood style, some as young as ten, others no older than eighteen. Some are sword fighting, others are throwing knives, or firing arrows, while a few are climbing the tall trees with difficulty. They're all carrying some sort of weapon; arrows, knives, swords, clubs.

On the other side of the clearing tied to a tree, is Abby.

I let out a gasp, and resist the urge to run out and get her.

If the boys have her tied up, then they won't let her go if I ask nicely. I look from a distance though, trying to see if she's hurt.

Her hair is dry, which is odd, considering that she only took a bath a few hours ago. She is shivering like she's cold, and looks scared to death. But overall, she seems alright.

Her eyes look up, as if she feels someone watching her, and she sees me.

Her eyes widen, and I put a finger over my lips, motioning her to stay quiet. She nods, and I signal her to wait. I slowly back away into the shadows, and edge around the clearing. Once I'm behind her, I see her watching me with terrified eyes. The boys are too involved in their games to notice. I creep over to her, as silently as possible, and motion her to stay quiet.

Silently, I look at the ropes that tie her to the tree. I find a knot and struggle with it for a moment. But it's really complex. I see stray weapons lying scattered around us, including a knife, not too far away. Should I go for it, and risk being seen, or should I try to undo the knot on my own?

Making a split second decision, I go for the knife. In a single bound, I grab it, and in another, I'm back by Abby's side, and cutting the ropes as fast as possible.

"Well, look at this."

I freeze, and look at the ropes. Halfway cut. If we ran, she probably could break them while running. Probably the best plan if worse comes to worse. I look up and stand.

All the boys have stopped, and are watching, and I instinctively stand between them and Abby.

The speaker is a boy, probably no older than eighteen, with shaggy, dirty blonde hair, green-grey eyes, and a smirk that makes me want to slap him across the face.

But there's something else.

A sort of twisted feeling washes over me as I look at him. It's like looking at something dark and evil, and it stares you back at the face.

He looks me up and down, and I inwardly shudder at the feeling. It feels the same as the shadow looking at me.

I don't show anything that would show the creeps he's giving me, but match his smirk with a glare.

"So, you're the brave, older sister who trying to save little Abby," he says, smirk still on his face. He has a British accent that would probably would half the girls in school swooning, but to me it just sounds annoying. He's clearly the leader.

I clench my teeth at the way he refers to her. Something in his voice when he said her name, it wasn't like he was talking about another human being, much less, my baby sister.

"I have to say, I'm a little disappointed," he continues. "The way she goes on about you, I would have thought the two of you would be gone within an hour."

How could Abby have "gone on" about me? She's only been here for a little while. He makes it sound like she's been here for hours.

"Sorry to disappoint," I reply, sarcastically, pushing the thought aside. My heart is pounding, and it's only the other boys' weapons that are keeping me from pummeling this guy.

His smirk, if possible, seems to get bigger.

I have to clench my hands to fists to resist slapping him. I mentally remind myself that I have a knife that I can use on them.

"Like you said, it took me a long time," I say, trying to end this quickly. "So, if you'd be so kind as to let my sister go, we'll be leaving, and we won't be bothering you again."

The boy raises an eyebrow, but his smirk is still in place. Well, so much for asking nicely.

"How do you know your sister wants to leave?" he asks, tauntingly.

"The fact that she's tied to a tree is a bit of a giveaway," I reply flatly. "I'd appreciate it if you'd let me cut her loose."

The look on his face tells me he won't do it without throttling him first.

He laughs at this, which only gets me angrier. My sister is tied to a tree like a dog, and this arrogant bastard is laughing at me like I'm funny.

Unable to control myself anymore, I punch him in the jaw.

The laughter stops immediately, and I can feel the tension rise, like the air has dropped ten degrees.

The boy touches the place where I hit him, and I see his lip bleeding.

"Oh," he says, the smirk returning. "You've got fire."

"And I like to give people third degree burns," I snap. "Which is exactly what I'll do to you if you don't let her go."

Some of the boys are fingering their weapons. Now that the line has been crossed, and I attacked their leader, they can fight me. And I only have a knife that I don't know how to use.

_Smart, Jess, real smart._

The boy, however holds up his hand, as if there is no need. I hate the way he looks at me. Its like I'm an interesting, unknown specimen that he wants to learn about.

"I can see why Abby put so much trust in you," he says, his ever-present smirk taunting.

I don't know what he's playing at, so I let him continue.

"And you must really love her to come into Neverland."

This makes me pause.

"Neverland?" I repeat. I'm pretty sure the guy has lost it, but I had my suspicions when I got a look at what he and his little fraternity were wearing.

He grins in answer.

I can tell by the look on his face that he's proud to have caught me off guard.

"You're a little old to be coming in by a dream, " he says, sounding curious. "How old are you?"

I bite back my tongue. I will not play whatever game he's playing.

"She's seventeen," cries Abby behind me. I cringe as she says it. She sounds terrified, and I want to get her out of here, now.

The boy cocks his eyebrow in surprise.

"We don't usually get dream visitors that old," he says, almost admiringly. "You must have been intent on finding your sister when you fell asleep."

"I was knocked out as your shadow thing was taking her," I reply sarcastically. "She was really on my mind."

Wait a second…

The shadow thing, Neverland, leader of a group of immature guys, green clothes.

I groan and rub the bridge of my nose.

"You think you're Peter Pan, don't you?" I ask.

The boy's grin gets bigger. I ought to punch him again.

"I _am_ Peter Pan," he replies, smiling like he's just got handed the thousand bucks he needed to start a nuclear war. Which would take more than a thousand bucks, but the metaphor is still catchy.

"And these," he says, gesturing to the group standing around us, "are the Lost Boys."

The guy is insane; I knew it!

Well, I've had enough of his stupid game, arrogant smirk, and delusions of grandeur.

"I don't care if you're Luke Skywalker," I say, my voice dripping with venom. "Cut. Abby. Loose."

"Not sure who this Luke Skywalker person is, but he sounds important," he replies. "And as for releasing Abby…"

He steps closer to us.

I retreat a step, and hold my knife between him and me.

But instead, he steps around me, and crouches down beside Abby.

I grip the knife, ready to stick him, when he looks up at me. There is a horrible glimmer in his eyes, and the twisted feeling I had becomes stronger.

"Why would I want to do that?" he asks. "I've never had a pet before, but always wanted one."

As he finishes, he reaches out, and strokes her hair, as if she were a pet cat.

I realize what was in his voice when he talked about Abby. It was like talking about a new puppy that he just got.

My sister whimpers, and shies away from his touch.

Rage surges through me, and I launch myself at the bastard, snarling. I don't care if all I have is a knife, or that he has a group of boys who are all armed. No one touches my baby sister like that!

Ever.

He stands up suddenly, and holds out his hand.

I stop and a strange feeling washes over me. I'm suddenly tired, but not enough to fall back asleep. Something is wrong.

I feel like the world is fading, but coming back into focus at the same time.

The knife suddenly slips through my hand, and I gasp as I see myself. I'm becoming transparent, like a ghost.

I lose control of my legs, and fall to the ground on all fours.

"JESS!" cries Abby, struggling against the ropes.

A tall boy with pale hair and a pale face, marred by a scar, calmly holds her back.

"Abby!" I shout, trying to reach her. My way is blocked by Pan, though. His smirk is even more taunting as he looks down at me, and I know that whatever is happening to me is his doing. The eager glint in his eyes tells me that much.

"What...are...you...doing?" I pant, trying to fight the sudden sleepiness.

"Helping you wake up," he replies calmly. "You are here in a dream, Jess. And you need to wake up. We only need your sister."

Now, I see myself becoming more solid, but everything around me is fading to black.

Abby is squirming like a snake in the Lost Boy's grip, and I catch a glimpse at her terrified, desperate eyes.

Real, pure terror, strikes me like lightning. Somehow, I know that if I wake up, I'll never see her again. I can't abandon her. I can't!

"Please," I plead, looking up at Pan. "Let her go. I'll do anything."

His eyes light up, and I can practically feel the darkness radiating off him and touching me. The look in his eyes...he's wanted me to say that the moment I came. He's waking me up to push me into saying it.

"Anything?" he repeats.

I nod, desperate.

The jungle is slowly fading to black, and I can start to feel the carpet of Abby's bedroom beneath my fingers.

I'm laying down now, and fighting hard to focus on the jungle.

"Please," I repeat, not caring if that I've stooped to begging. "I'll give you anything you want."

I feel tears pooling in my eyes, and I pray that he'll listen before I wake up.

"Promise?" he asks, his eyes glinting with an eager malice.

"Promise," I reply, looking at my sister. She and her holder fade to black with the rest.

Though if he asks for a million dollars…

I'll rob a bloody bank if I have too. I need to save Abby.

The jungle is slowly looking more and more like Abby's room.

I'm vaguely aware of the leader crouching over me, and hissing in my ear.

"Because the only deal I'll accept, _Jess_," he murmurs. "the only way I'm going to let her go, is if when the shadow returns with her, you go back with the shadow."

Oh, god! Oh, god!

That's his deal.

Abby's freedom for mine.

I feel another form of terror as I look into those evil, eager eyes.

I can't even see the rest of Neverland anymore. Or the Lost Boys. Or Abby. Just Pan.

I won't lose her to him. I won't abandon her to be Pan's pet.

"Deal," I breathe.

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**A/N: I'll let all you lovely readers in on a little secret: my computer runs on Spurs victories, and reviews. The Spurs are keeping my computer powered right now, but once the games are over, my computer won't be able to run. And if my computer can't run, I can't post more chapters. So, please, review and keep my computer running!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT, or any of the characters from the show that are in this story. Unless claiming I own the show means I get to meet Colin O'Donoghue. Then, by all means, I own OUAT!**

* * *

For a moment, my eyes are closed, as Pan fades away. Then I open them.

I'm back in Abby's room. It's as if I had never left. I sit up, and look wildly around, sure that I'm going to see the jungle or the camp somewhere in the room.

But Pan, the jungle, the Lost Boys, and the camp are all gone.

I allow myself to exhale, and stand. Immediately, the pain in my head doubles, and I use the wall for support. I slowly reach up, and find a warm, sticky substance in my hair. Blood, from where I hit my head.

I feel dizzy again, and have to sit back down. The room is kind of chilly with the window open, but that's the most I can register.

However, the shock has yet to fade. Had that all been a dream? I just woke up. It's quite possible it was a dream, and my imagination was just going wild.

There's no way I could have been in Neverland of all places, with Peter Pan, and the Lost Boys. That's impossible. Besides, it doesn't make any sense. Peter Pan is supposed to be a good _kid_, not a manipulative _teenager_.

_Of course, this version of him is kinda cute,_ I think to myself.

I shake my head telling myself to snap out of it. It seems like it should have been a dream. It has to be a dream.

_But if that's the case,_ I think, _then where's Abby? And how did you end up against the wall?_

The pain in my head echoes, and I screw my eyes shut, trying to concentrate. It's impossible. There's no way all of that could have happened, and in only a few minutes. So, why does it make so much sense?

Abby clearly isn't here, and I didn't hit my head that hard by accident. It seems impossible, yet it is the only thing that makes sense.

Did the Lost Boys really kidnap Abby? And did I just make a bargain to go in exchange for her freedom?

There's no way...but still.

I look out the window, and see two figures heading towards the window.

Instinctively, I know it's Abby and the shadow. My heart drops. It did happen. Oh, God, it really did happen. I really went to Neverland, and I really traded my freedom for Abby's.

Panic spreads through me, and I somehow find myself standing.

_I don't want to_, I think, starting to feel hysterical. _Oh, God, I don't want to do this. I don't want to go! _

Maybe, if I hide, the shadow will leave Abby and leave us alone. Or maybe if I tried to fight it, it would go away.

_No,_ says a firm voice in my head. _Even if it seems like it shouldn't be happening, you made that deal. If you break it, he'll just take Abby back, and you won't see her again. You wanted to save Abby when you woke up, so grit your teeth, and suck it up._

I breath out, trying to calm down. I have to let it take me. I don't know what Pan did to Abby when she was in Neverland, even if it seems like a few minutes, but it obviously terrified her. I won't let her go through that again.

I know need to be here when they reach here, so that the shadow will know that I'm keeping the bargain, but part of me wants to run downstairs, and call Mom. And Roxanne and Dom. To tell them what's happened, that I love them, and that I'm going to be alright.

I hope.

I'll have to do that after Abby is safe. Once she's in her room, I'll say goodbye to her and the rest of them.

A moment later, the shadow, and Abby land in the room.

The shadow still freaks me out, and I back away, as it gently sets Abby down.

I get one look at her tear-stained face, and try to hold back my own. God, why is this happening?

"Jess, you can't go!" she sobs, as she runs into my arms.

She wraps her arms tightly around me, and I hug her back with all that I'm worth.

"You can't leave!" she continues. "I-I don't want t-to lose you!"

I don't want to lose her either. I don't want to let go of my sister.

I just want to freeze time, in this moment, and stay here, holding my sister.

"I know, Abby," I murmur, feeling tears leaking down my face. "And I don't want to leave you either. But I need you to be brave."

I take a moment to look into her eyes.

"I need you to be brave like you were in Neverland," I tell her.

"I wasn't brave," she replies, looking heartbroken. "You were."

I want to tell her that I'm not. That she was so brave, refusing to scream when we were in that jungle. Even when she was scared, she would not break down in front of Pan. As her older sister, I always tried to be the one who put on the strong face, so that Abby wouldn't have to. I never knew that she could do it.

But as I open my mouth to tell her that she was brave, and that I'm proud of her, something grabs my upper arm, and starts pulling me away.

The shadow. Its touch is like sticking your arm in a bucket of ice water. Yet, as soon as it touches me, the pain in my head evaporates.

It makes me stand, and starts to drag me away from Abby, who is still clinging tightly to me.

"Wait!" I shout at it, as it pulls me towards the window. "I didn't get to say good-bye!"

"Jess!" cries Abby, as we approach the window.

"I didn't-," I start, but the shadow ignores my protests, as it flies through the window, taking me with it. Abby is the only thing holding us back.

Desperate, I turn to her.

"I love you, Abby!" I cry. "I love you!"

"Please, don't take her!" she shouts at the shadow. Her voice is so full of pain, I feel weak.

"I will come back, Abby!" I whisper. "I swear, I will find a way to escape! I _will_ come back! Until then, just know that I love you!"

She only looks at me, tears pouring from her eyes.

"I love you too, Jess."

I don't want to leave her. Dang it, I don't want to do this!

_I'm doing this for her_, I remind myself. _I won't let Pan hurt her. _

"Please, Jess," she whispers. "Please, don't let go."

That's the second time she's asked this.

The first time, I swore I wouldn't. This time, I have too. I can't let the shadow take her away again.

"I love you, Abby," I murmur.

And I let go.

"NO!" she screams, as the shadow and I fly away. "NO! JESS! JESS!"

"I love you, Abby!" I shout again.

I get one last look at her face. One last look at my angelic, heartbroken, baby sister's face.

Then, the distance becomes too great, and all I can make out is our house. My house. My home.

Then, it too is too far away to see.

I turn, as the shadow flies me through the city, the place I grew up. Mom's probably in one of those buildings, unaware that I'm being taken away like this.

_Maybe if she stuck around a little more, she'd notice,_ I think bitterly, but I'm distracted when the shadow flies at full speed at a skyscraper. I feel my stomach plummet, and a shriek escapes me as we almost smash into it. The shadow pulls out at the last second, and my boot scrapes the rooftop. I think my heart stopped for a second.

_What is this thing playing at?_ I wonder. _That was_ way _too close!_

It flies me over rooftops, and skyscrapers, most a little too close for my liking. If it weren't for my death grip on it, and if it wasn't moving me at the last second, I probably be smashing into buildings like an urban George of the Jungle.

After we come way too close to hitting a twelve story office building, I realize what it's doing.

Its making me cling on to it even tighter, making me rely on it a little more, as it takes me away. Already, its making me trust Pan and Neverland.

It still has taken me a while to register that I've met with Peter Pan, and am heading to Neverland. And I thought the night that Roxanne and I went through an entire tub of ice cream, while watching a Star Wars Marathon, wearing Princess Leia wigs had been a weird night.

Finally, the shadow starts to head towards the sky.

Specifically, towards two really bright stars. Oh, yeah. Second star to the right, and straight on till morning.

As we fly, I watch the city disappear below us, and my stomach plunges. I've never been afraid of heights, but even from this high up...I tighten my grip on the shadow.

Which means that I've already begun to trust it. Actually, never mind. I loosen my grip. Better to drop a thousand feet to your death than trust this thing. It's not the fall that'll hurt, it's the landing that'll kill me, anyway.

The stars slowly start to become closer, and the one on the right starts to look more and more like an island.

When I get the courage to look down again, I see that we're actually above water.

I look back, but the city is gone.

It's like that painting in _The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_. You go in, but once you're in, you can't see the way you came.

The island becomes bigger, and a sound reaches me, one that I wasn't expecting. It's children, crying.

I gasp, and start to struggle against the shadow's grip.

The fear I felt when Pan made his deal comes back to me. What kind of place is this, where children cry? And so many, at that, if I can hear it from here.

I look down, and see a ship below.

A really old ship, with sails and everything. It reminds me of the old pirate movies.

"HELP!" I scream down at it.

The shadow looks at me, and it's grip on my arm tightens. It flies faster towards the island.

I start struggling against it even harder, but it ignores me.

We start to fly closer to the trees, just as we did when it first took me, and we were flying over the city.

It starts to slow down, so we must be coming up to wherever Pan is.

My feet start to brush the top branches, and the shadow seems less intent on not having me hit anything.

Suddenly, it let's go.

I scream as I fall towards the ground.

For a second, I'm falling through the air, the next, I hit the ground, and all air is knocked out of my lungs.

I lay still for a moment, trying to take the air back in, and figure everything out.

Surprisingly, I'm not hurt that much. A little bruised maybe, but other than that…

"Welcome to Neverland, Jess."

I look up, to see the pale haired, scarred Lost Boy who had held Abby back only minutes ago, leaning lazily against a tree, holding a large club.

I get up, refusing to look weak, even in front of this douche bag.

"Pan will be very pleased that you arrived so soon," he says, with a slight southern twang in his voice.

I consider running, but the club tells me that's not a smart move.

"He dragged me away before I got the chance to say good-bye to my family. I'm not too surprised that I got here early," I reply. I try to say it with an icy tone, but my voice raises, and I end up sounding slightly hysterical.

Scarface laughs at this.

"As Pan will tell you when you reach camp," he says. "The Lost Boys are your family now."

_Never. These twisted maniacs, even if they are fairy tale characters, will not be my family_.

Ever.

My family is Abby and Mom, not these psychos.

"You really expect me to believe that?" I ask, not bothering to hide my disgust.

He shrugs, and walks over to me.

"Come on," he says in a monotone voice. "Pan is waiting."

Well the brat can wait a little longer. Heck, he can wait all he wants, but I'm not going to give in that easily.

"Fine, but can I pee first?" I ask, still allowing my disgust and anger to enter my voice. If I pretend to be nonchalant and innocent, he'll see through it in a second.

Scarface smirks.

"How stupid do you think I am?" he asks.

_Does he really want me to answer that? _

I roll my eyes, and take a rebellious stance. I need to make this as believable as possible.

"I got taken away by a creepy shadow thing-which shouldn't be real, by the way- just minutes after waking up from a blow to the head that probably gave me a concussion," I reply, talking a mile a minute. He'll either get really annoyed and just let me go, or he'll just get confused. I can work with either one.

"Then I got dragged away by a shadow-which still shouldn't exist- got taken to Neverland, which also shouldn't exist, by the way, and am talking to a scar faced Lost Boy, who also shouldn't exist. All in all, it's amazing that I haven't pissed myself yet."

Scarface rolls his eyes.

Well, at least I've got him annoyed. Though with that club, annoying him may not be the best thing to do, now that I think about it.

"Do it behind there," he orders, pointing at a nearby tree.

"Thank you," I reply shortly, and step behind the tree.

I count to three, then turn and take off. I've maybe taken five steps when he grabs me from behind, pulling me back. I turn, ready to punch him, when I see his calm smirk. He obviously expects to take me down in a fist fight. He probably will.

_Sheesh, what is it with these guys and smirking?_

Pushing the question back, I give him a pointed look, and move towards a different tactic.

"I don't know about you," I say sarcastically, "but it takes me more than three seconds to go."

He snorts, and I throw away the running-while-pretending-to-pee plan.

I take a split second to analyze him, and I notice a long, eighteen inch, knife in his belt. Good, I can use that. He looks like he knows how to use the club though, and he's bigger than me. Yeah, he'll definitely be able to take me down in a fist fight.

"Of course, you are a boy, so it could be different for you," I continue, shrugging.

I'm just making it up as I go along. But, it seems this comment has the desired effect. He gives me a confused look.

"What does that mean?" he asks, clearly not believing me.

"Well, girls have one distinct advantage that guys lack," I explain, as if it were totally obvious. "Or, I guess, guys have a distinct disadvantage that girls lack."

"Which is?" he asks.

Okay, let it be said that he walked into this one the way a bird hits a glass door at 70 miles an hour.

"These!" I say, as I knee him in the nuts.

He gasps, and sinks down.

Not wasting a second, I grab his club, and yank it away.

_Jeez, this thing is heavy!_

Hoisting it up, I swing and hit him on the small of his back, which will at least knock all the air out of his lungs.

With a small grunt, I swing back and hit him in the head with the club. He collapses immediately.

That should knock him out, maybe even give him a concussion, if I'm lucky. Dropping the club, I start to search Scarface's body for something I can use.

The club is _way_ too heavy to take with me, but at least I can take the knife.

After I take it, I take his cloak and hood. I noticed all the boys in the camp were wearing hoods, and I can hide my hair and clothes under it. Denim jackets and tank-tops aren't exactly Robin Hood style.

After that, I run.

I don't recognize this part of the island from when I was looking for Abby, but then again, I wasn't exactly paying attention.

_Abby. I already miss her. Hopefully she's okay. _

I can't help but wonder what she did after the shadow took me. Hopefully called Mom, or 911, at the very least. I don't think either will believe her, but they'll know she's alone.

_Mom may even put her client on hold,_ I think, sarcastically. _As long as Abby called her first, and not 911._

This reminds of why I have to get back home. Mom has thrown herself too deeply into her work. She won't start taking care of Abby at the drop of a hat. Or the disappearance of a daughter.

_Maybe she never should have stopped taking care of Abby. Maybe, that would make taking care of Abby when I'm gone much easier. _

Which is why I need to get back, fast. At least, that way, Abby won't be neglected for too long.

I know that Pan had meant that I come and live with the Lost Boys when we made the deal, but we never said anything about how long I stay in Neverland, or if I stay with the Lost Boys. I'm going to milk those loopholes for all their worth.

I run through the jungle, keeping my hand on the knife, just in case. Something tells me once someone finds Scarface, or when he wakes up, there'll be a search for me. There may even be one now.

I just hope the shadow isn't involved. After flying with that thing, I don't want to be within fifty feet of it.

After a while, I pause to catch my breath. I can only take a few minutes at most. I don't want to stay in one place too long.

I look up, in a gap in the trees, and see the moon, which seems to be rising. Meaning, I've headed east for a while. Useless, but nice to know.

Feeling like I've got my breath back, I take off again, this time making sure to keep quiet. They've probably realized that something is wrong at least, and I don't want them catching me because I'm loud.

I consider climbing a tree, but that would leave me vulnerable to the shadow. Not a great idea.

At best, I can run try to find rocky ground, because its harder to track people on rock than it is on dirt.

And, since I don't know how long I'll be here, I'll need to find a water source soon. And a food source.

Well, at least I have a knife, which will be helpful for the last one.

Lost in thought, my foot trips over a tree root, and I fall.

It isn't until I get up that I realize that I've tuned out the crying I heard when I got close to Neverland.

Why, though? Why are there children crying? And who are they?

Surely not Pan's little minions.

I stop suddenly, when I see a light approaching. It's about twenty yards away, and it looks like lantern or candle light.

Probably the Lost Boys.

I immediately slip behind a tree, and remain perfectly still.

I can hear the boys coming closer and closer.

From what I can tell by their voices, at least two, maybe three.

They're too far away for me to make out what they're saying, but at least I know how many. And unfortunately, it's too many to take out on my own.

One, that would be fine. Two, if I got lucky. Three...pushing it.

Then again, I was unarmed with Scarface. Maybe I'll be able to take down these guys without having to draw my stolen knife.

Biting my lip, I decide not to risk it. I can't rely on my wits so much that I get cocky.

But they are coming closer.

I will have to do something soon.

Sneaking away sounds good.

I start moving towards the shadows when one of the boys calls out, "Hey!"

I freeze for a second, then make my posture casual.

"Anything?" the boy calls.

Oh, yeah, with my hood and my back towards him, they wouldn't recognize me. Until they see my jeans, anyway.

"Nothing," I call back, making my voice as gruff as possible.

"Well, keep looking," says the boy.

I nod, thanking all the lucky stars in the sky. Except the second one to the right, maybe.

It isn't until I've almost reached into the shadows that one boy calls to me, "Hey, where's your lantern?"

I shrug as casually as possible, but I know that he's figured it out.

As soon as I'm completely out of the light, I take off like the devil himself were after me. Which may very well be true.

Hey! Hey, it's her!" shouts the boy, as I run.

_Shoot!_

I'm running back the way I came, not allowing myself to look back, or to do anything else but focus on running.

If I can find some good foliage to hide in…

I hear them running after me, and by the sound of it, more have joined. Great. I move to the side of my path and into the foliage. I don't hide though. I keep running.

But only for a minute, so that I can be far enough in. I crouch down, and don't even breath. My heart seems to be pounding way too loudly. I hear them pass, but stay very, very still.

_Think, Jess, think._

They know I'm wearing a hood, and that I don't have a lantern. And that I'm alone. Obviously I can't ditch the hood, and I have to stay alone. But if I can find a lantern…

Leaving my hiding place, I run the way I was originally going, before I bumped into the Lost Boys. I continue for a while, this time refusing to stop and catch my breath. Definitely not with the Lost Boys looking for me.

I do find my water source soon enough. A wide river that looks pretty deep.

_Let me get sick and die, I don't care. It's better than staying with the Lost Boys. _

Actually, I am pretty thirsty, and this water seems clean. I take another drink, and splash some on my face.

"Are you thirsty?"

I stop, and my hands ball into fists at the familiar accent. I turn around slowly to see Pan leaning against a tree trunk, looking amused. The same feeling of something dark and twisted washes over me, and I see him flicking his wrist casually at me.

Suddenly, I fall backwards into the water, and I vaguely hear Pan's laugh. I grit my teeth under the water. He pushed me in, I know it. But I refuse to resurface.

I don't care if I drown, or if I swim away. It's better than being with Pan.

Only seconds later, I feel strong hands grab me by my torso and pull me out of the water. I immediately struggle, not because I can't escape, but because the grip has the same iciness the shadow had. And this close, I feel the same darkness that I feel when facing the shadow or Pan.

I look down as I'm pulled out of the water, and recognize the cuffs on the wrists. It isn't the shadow that pulled me out. It is Pan.

Pan turns me around to face him, and the fear I've refused to show since I found Abby finally makes its appearance.

My struggles start to increase. I squirm, claw at his face, bite at his hand. Anything to get away from him. He only smirks and grips my wrists so tightly I can feel them bruise. I try to pull away, but his grip only tightens.

"I think," he says. "that I'm going to have a lot of fun with you."

Surprisingly, it's because of his smirk and his words that I'm able to calm down.

_I need to be calm. If I'm going to escape-which I will-I need to keep my head._

So instead of struggling harder and panicking, I instead adopt a look of cold, controlled anger.

"Let. Go. Of. Me," I say slowly and clearly, through clenched teeth.

He raises an eyebrow at me in surprise.

"Are you sure you want me to do that?" he asks. "I mean, I know you survived your fall with the shadow, but there's no telling if you'd survive this fall."

_What does he…oh no._

I look down, and my eyes widen.

Pan and I are flying at least a hundred feet off the ground.

"HOLY CRAP!" I yell, and I find myself gripping Pan as tightly as he is holding me.

Pan laughs at my shock, and I immediately loosen my hold.

The sneaky bastard did that on _purpose._

"Watch your language, Vin, or I might have to wash out your mouth," he says teasingly.

This makes me pause.

"Vin?" I repeat, looking at him in confusion.

He grins.

"You're mine now," he explains. "As soon as the shadow took you, you belonged to me. Seems only fit that I rename you. I think 'Vin' fits you nicely."

I feel anger rise in me, as I meet his eyes. He is smirking, but something tells me he is dead serious.

"I don't belong to anyone," I reply, doing everything to keep my voice calm. "And if you think that you can take my name from me, I'll sell you a bridge. On the moon."

Actually, if he thinks he can do that, I'll do something lot more painful than selling him a bridge. And it'll involve pliers.

Pan simply smirks at my insults, and I'd smack him across the face if we weren't flying high enough for me to break my neck.

"Oh, Vin, you say the nicest things," he chuckles.

"Jess!" I snap. "It's Jess, Pan!"

He ignores me, as we continue to fly.

"I have to say though, I wasn't too impressed with how long it took you to find the little girl," he says. "I thought you would've been quicker."

"You already told me that, and her name is Abby," I reply. "And considering that I woke up in a random jungle, after she was abducted by a creepy shadow thing, it's pretty impressive that I was able to find her at all."

Pan smirks at this, or at least his smirk comes back again. Or maybe it just becomes more noticeable.

"I was fairly impressed, though," he continues, as if I never interrupted him at all. "with what you pulled with Felix. I knew you had potential, when you punched me, and you definitely showed it with how you dealt with him."

Felix...he probably means Scarface.

"I'll do the same to you when we've landed," I hiss. "And I hope you get a permanent bruise from that punch I gave you."

"Well, you can forget the last one," he replies without further explanation.

I can tell he wants me to ask, which is precisely why I don't. I can guess that he used magic.

I involuntarily shiver at the breeze that blows as we fly. Pan can heal himself with magic, but apparently he's fine with me dripping wet.

We arrive above a clearing, and he flies down. We land in the camp I saw earlier.

As soon as my feet are on the ground, I pull out of Pan's grip, and shove him away.

I look around, and see the boys are still playing their games, as if nothing has changed since I was here in the dream.

But a heartbeat later, everything stops, as Pan steps on top of a rock right next to him, and grabs my wrist.

"My brothers," he announces. "We here in Neverland have enjoyed its benefits, for eternity. But we all know that recently, it has been harder for us to channel the power of Neverland. As the sand in the glass of Skull Rock slowly runs through our hands, as we wait for the arrival of the Heart of the Truest Believer, the magic of Neverland has waned. You all know that it has been harder for us to create objects just by thinking of them."

I don't know what the heck he's talking about, and, frankly, I don't really care.

I pull at his grip, but he only tightens it around my wrist. Honestly, if he keeps doing this, my wrist is just going to end up as one big bruise.

"But tonight, that has all changed," he continues, sounding proud and excited. "Tonight, my brothers, we no longer have to worry about this loss. For earlier this evening, you saw that a bargain was struck. A bargain we've been waiting anticipating for many years. Tonight, in exchange for her sister's return, we have received our first Lost Girl. And not only our first Lost Girl, but the girl who will save us until we have the Heart of the Truest Believer."

He holds my wrist high in the air, so that all the Lost Boys are looking at me.

"My brothers, let us welcome our newest member, and our new sister: Vin!"

As the Lost Boys start to cheer excitedly, something tells me that I'm in more danger than their letting on.

Actually, I'm probably in more danger than I've been in my entire life.

* * *

**A/N: YEAH! GO SPURS! **

*Ahem*

A special thanks to **Foreverisanawfullylongtime, Randombutloved11, Tatertwig45, VesperLogan12, WhisperedxNothingsx,** and **fruitylooper** for putting _Fading Away_ on story alert, and to **Foreverisanawfullylongtime, Randombutloved11, Tatertwig45, and WhisperedxNothingsx** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **VesperLogan12, sufingbandit,** and **Foreverisanawfullylongtime** for your reviews.

You guys and Tim Duncan are what keeps my computer running!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: The fact that this is on fanfiction should tell everyone that I don't own OUAT.**

* * *

_I have to get out of here. Pan has something planned for me; he's renaming me like I'm some sort of possession, and the Lost Boys are just going along with it. I need to get out of here. _

I start to pull against Pan's grip again, but he holds on firmly.

"You're not getting out of it that easily, darling," he whispers, looking very smug.

"You sick, twisted son of a-," I start, but Pan jumps down and clamps a hand over my mouth before I can finish the insult.

"Now, now, Vin, what did we say about language?" he asks mockingly.

In answer, I twist my mouth away from his hand, and bite down on it.

_He tastes disgusting._

Pan pulls his hand away, but he and the rest of the Lost Boys laugh as I jerk my hand out of his grip (finally!).

Spitting out the bits of flesh in my mouth and wiping my tongue with my wet sleeve, I glare at Pan with a look of unrepressed hatred.

"It's Jess," I reply, angrily. "And if you think that you can keep me here with your little boy club-."

Pan just laughs even harder. I'm unable to repress a shiver at his laugh. His laugh and expression remind me of a cat cornering a mouse.

"Oh, Vin," he says. "It was the _deal_. Abby goes back home, while you come to Neverland, and become a Lost Girl."

I don't want to give away that loopholes I found earlier. I did not say I would be a Lost Girl, and I didn't say how long I'd be on Neverland. But, if I do tell him, I know he's going to see to prevent me from using the loopholes to my advantage.

_Like I'm ever going to become a Lost Girl, anyway._

"We may have made a deal, Pan," I reply instead. "But deals can be changed. Promises, however, are always kept. And I promised Abby that I'd get back to her."

Pan chuckles with some of the other Lost Boys.

I notice behind him, Scarface-or Felix, whatever he's called-sitting by the fire, a nasty smirk on his face.

"Want to know a couple of the great things about Neverland, Vin?" asks Pan.

"Jess," I correct immediately.

"There are no apologies in Neverland," he continues, as if I had remained silent. "or hurt. But what's even better, is that promises can be broken in Neverland."

I cock my head at what he said before.

_No hurt, huh? So why have I heard children crying ever since I came here?_

I don't voice this thought, though. Instead, I just start smirking as much as him.

"Not with family," I reply. "No matter where you are, family always finds you, or you always find them. No broken promises."

Pan just grins, and spreads his arms, gesturing to the camp around us.

"The Lost Boys are _your family_ now, Vin," he says, as if he's welcoming me to the Lost Boys.

_Yeah, Felix mentioned that he might say that. As if these guys are ever going to be any family of mine. _

"It's Jess," I correct.

_Honestly, if we keep correcting each other like this, it's going to get old really fast._

"And, no, my family is Abby, and my friends," I continue, crossing my arms.

"And my mom," I add as an afterthought. "My family is not a group of immature brats who haven't even started growing facial hair."

I take a stage sniff, and raise my eyebrows.

"Or learned to bathe, apparently."

Pan snorts, and I can tell he's enjoying the banter.

"Oh, Vin," he says. "I _know_ I'm going to have fun with you."

The way he says that makes me shudder. I really don't want to know what his definition of fun is. Something tells me that our definitions are very different. And that his definition is what I'd describe as gross, and/or dangerous.

I shrug as if it doesn't matter to me. I can't let him see that his words are getting to me.

"Enjoy it while you can," I say, simply. "I'm not going to be here for long."

Actually, I hope he doesn't enjoy it. That will probably mean him having fun at my expense. Something I know I don't want.

Pan simply grins.

"We'll have to see about that, won't we," he sneers, stepping closer to me. Instinctively, I back away.

Pan raises an eyebrow at my retreat. Cursing myself mentally, I force myself to stay still as he approaches.

_Don't let him know you're scared of him. Don't let him see that he's getting under your skin. _

"I will break you in the end, Vin," he murmurs in my ear, almost fondly.

I feel that twisted, dark feeling again, except it's stronger, now that he's so close. It's enough to make me feel nauseous. He grabs my wrist, and I can't stop myself from flinching. I look him in the eyes, and try to calm myself. But if he has my wrist, then he probably feels me shaking.

"And when I do break you, you will be the greatest Lost One who ever to set foot in Neverland."

_Calm. Don't let it show. Don't let him know that he's scaring you._

"It's Jess," I say cooly.

Without hesitation, I punch him with my free hand. Or at least, I try to punch him. He catches my fist, and I'm only able to catch a glimpse at his permanent smirk as he flips me over onto the ground.

For the second time-no, third-the air gets knocked out of my lungs, and I'm cursing like a sailor.

"Oh, Vin," Pan laughs, bending over me. "We _really_ will have to work on your language issues."

I'm lying on my back, and immediately try to get up.

Pan, however, lifts a foot, and presses me down. For a second, he stands, as if victorious, over me. As if he's won. I try to roll out from under him, but he simply pushes his foot down even harder.

"I think we'll start with an early bedtime," he says tauntingly, as he holds me down.

As if on cue, two boys come forward, and pull me to my feet, the second Pan gets off of me. I start to struggle, when suddenly my hands are tied in front of me. I look up at Pan, knowing that this is his work. His smirk confirms it.

_I hate him!_

I hate him so much. But I can't let him see how much he freaks me out.

"Enjoy your precious time 'breaking' me, Pan," I sneer, imitating his. "I promised Abby I would come back. That I would escape Neverland. And I always keep my promises."

Pan only snorts at this.

"Vin, I've been here for centuries," he replies. "And half of the Lost Boys here have said that. And look at them now."

As he says this, the other Lost Boys drag me towards a tree. It isn't until I see the steps hidden beneath the roots that I realize that its hollow.

"If the Lost Boys are so broken that they're happy, then why do I hear crying?" I shout, as the boys drag me into the tree.

Either Pan doesn't reply, or I don't hear it.

As the boys take me into the tree, I turn and see what looks like a small barrack in a hollow tree. Or maybe a large camp cabin, with hammocks instead of beds.

I see several boys lying there, most of them very young.

One of my holders-who I realize is Felix, leads me to a hammock, while the other starts blowing out the lanterns that give light to the tree, except for one in the corner.

I roll into the hammock without Felix's help, and use my feet to kick off my boots, in a seemingly careless way.

"Don't get too confident," Felix drawls in his monotone voice. "Peter Pan never fails."

"Well, he hasn't been up against me yet," I reply.

I need to act confident. If I act like I'm not scared, they won't know if they're winning or not. I can use that to my advantage. I need to act like I can get out of this. I can't let even a Lost Boy know that I'm really scared right now.

I shiver slightly, in my wet clothes.

"Anyway to turn up the heat in here?" I ask.

"If Pan wants you to be cold, then you'll be cold," says Felix. "Maybe you won't curse so much, now."

Part of me wonders whether Pan actually doesn't want me cursing, or if it's just his way of exerting control over me.

In reply to Felix, I mumble something unflattering about his mother, and turn on my side, closing my eyes.

It's only when I know that he and the other boy are gone, that I open my eyes, and allow my emotions to show.

I allow myself to cry.

When I was little, I cried a lot. This got Mom and Dad up to take care of me, when I would cry in the middle of the night. After I put together the pieces of why they were so grouchy the next morning, I learned to cry silently.

This became very handy when Dad left. And when I was overloaded with pressure, because Mom wasn't home, and I didn't want Abby to see.

It's handy now.

Confident that no one can hear me, I cry.

I didn't get to say goodbye to my family, and I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I know I'm not getting any older, but what about the rest of the world? Will it grow up while I'm trapped here?

And I know I swore to Abby I would escape, and that I acted confident of that in front of Pan. But the truth is, I'm scared that they will find some way to trap me permanently. Pan clearly has a plan for me, and I want to escape before he puts that plan to use.

After a few minutes of silently crying, I'm aware of something else: the crying is much, much louder. I lay still and listen.

The crying is in this room. The children who are crying are here.

That makes me feel worse. And it makes me feel even more afraid.

_What kind of horrible place is this?_

Pan won't even take care of the children who are in Neverland. He just abandons them to cry and deal with their problems on their own. I know what that feels like. It's what Mom was doing with me.

As I cry silently, I try to cover my ears with my hands, but they are tied. All I can do is listen to the cries as I wait for the sleep that never comes.

Finally, I can't bear it any longer. I turn around, and see a small boy curled up in the hammock beside me.

He's facing me, and in the dim light, I can see his eyes are full of unshed tears.

We stare at each other for a moment, and I see the tears leak out of his eyes. Suddenly, I feel my heart go out to this kid, who is obviously just as much Pan's prisoner as I am.

He looks about eight, maybe younger.

I immediately think of Abby, and where she is right now. I can't do anything to help her, except get back to her. But, at this moment, I _can_ help this kid.

I sit up a little, and smile kindly at him.

"Hey," I whisper. "Are you alright?"

_Well, duh, he's not alright! He's crying isn't he?_

But the kid only shakes his head, and starts to sob.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He looks at me with wide eyes, as if he's never seen anything like me before.

"It's okay, you can tell me," I assure him in a soft, soothing voice. I did this with Abby when Dad left, and it seemed to work. Mom was never around to do it with me, so I can't be really sure myself.

But, something tells me that this kid is miserable, and he just needs to tell someone about it. He just needs a friend.

"I-I," he starts, but he chokes back into sobs.

I wait patiently, and don't prod him. He doesn't need pressure.

"I miss my mama," he finishes, and immediately breaks down even more.

I feel my heart tug, wanting to help this poor kid. Because I'm in the same boat at the moment.

"I miss my mom too," I whisper.

The boy looks at me, and wipes his eyes.

"You do?" he asks. I can see his big eyes looking at me, and I smile.

I nod.

"And my sister, and my best friends," I continue.

The little boy nods, as if in understanding.

"I didn't have no brothers or sisters," he whispers. "but I did have friends."

There is a loud yelp from outside the tree, and it sounds like the Lost Boys are having a great time hurting themselves.

My new friend whimpers, and looks around in the dark.

"They're just boys being silly," I assure him.

He shakes his head.

"It's not that," he whispers, sounding close to tears. "Its just that...that…"

"What?" I murmur.

"I hate the dark," he breathes, and looks wildly around, as if someone else heard.

I smile, and say, "Well that's alright. A lot of people are."

He ignores this, and seems to get a far away look in his eyes.

"My mama used to lie with me until I fell asleep," he whispers, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. "She said she'd keep any monsters away, while I was asleep."

I know that now there is only one thing for me to do.

_Dang it, I can't do this!_

If I'm going to escape, I can't get attached. But I'm not going to abandon this kid when he clearly needs someone.

"Come on," I say, moving over. "You can lay with me."

His eyes light up, as if I've offered him free run of the candy store.

"Really?" he asks.

"Sure," I say. "I mean, my hands are tied, so it may be a little awkward, but-."

The boy doesn't allow me to finish. He's already in the hammock, nestled against me.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Jess," I reply softly, sifting my tied hands, so he can be more comfortable. "Yours?"

"Toodles," he replies, just as he starts drifting off.

I want to protest that Toodles isn't a name, but it's too late. The little guy is already asleep.

And, feeling like something has actually gone alright tonight, I relax, and sleep finally finds me.

* * *

"Well, isn't that just the sweetest thing?"

I groan, and open my eyes, recognizing the voice.

Pan, Felix, and a couple other Lost Boys are grinning maliciously at me, and I shut my eyes again.

"Go away," I say sleepily.

I feel something stir against me, and I open my eyes to see Toodles lying by me, looking at me with wide eyes.

I can't help but smile a little.

"Not you, the idiot in green," I assure him, and close my eyes.

Pan laughs at this, and I hear him order Toodles to get up.

I hear Toodles whimper, but he does as he's told.

Recognizing an oncoming battle, I open my eyes, and glare up at Pan.

"Do you mind?" I ask. "I'd like my beauty sleep, if it's alright with you."

I can almost smirk in time with him.

"Time to get up, Vin," he says. "Time to train."

I think about protesting that my name is Jess, but instead, I'm going to try a different strategy.

I ignore him.

I close my eyes, and roll on my side, facing away from him.

"Come on, Vin," he coos in a baby voice. "Wakey, wakey."

I still ignore him. And that's going to continue until he starts calling me Jess.

Suddenly, I feel hands pull at the edge of the hammock, and I realize what they're doing a second too late.

The hammock flips over, and I fall to the floor.

Well, they got me awake.

Time for them to regret it.

I slowly stand up, calmly and casually, and look directly at Pan.

"Can you please cut my hands loose?" I ask cooly, but politely. Just because he thinks he can get away with being rude does not mean that I'm going to lose my dignity.

Pan clearly thinks he's won, because he's grinning as he unsheathes his dagger and cuts me loose.

But, as soon as I'm free, I sit down on the ground, cross my arms, and glare up at him, daring him to try to move me. With my hands free, he's guaranteed trouble.

He lifts his eyebrow, as if surprised.

_Seriously, is that eyebrow having spasms?_

"Still fighting, then, Vin?" he asks, sounding mockingly exasperated. I can tell by the glint in his eyes that he is enjoying this.

I give him a sweet smile.

"Who?" I ask, in a purely innocent voice.

His lips quirk as he understands my strategy.

When he called me Vin and I protested, I looked like the weak one. This way, he has to call me Jess to get me to respond. So, he has to be the one to cave in.

Rather than acknowledge this, though, he simply grabs me by the upper arm, and pulls me to my feet.

I can resist, but I know that it won't work. Not when he's holding me with his death group. I figured that out last night.

We walk outside, and I see the boys doing exactly what they were doing last night. It's as if they never went to sleep.

Pan lets go of my arm, and tosses me something. I catch an apple.

I haven't had anything to eat since last night, and I'm starved, but I still look at it suspiciously.

I wouldn't be too surprised if Pan is trying to pull some 'Snow White' stunt.

Pan catches my glance, and grins. Not a reassuring one, but one that suggests he's hiding a secret.

"Don't worry, Vin," he says. "It's not for eating."

I raise my eyebrows, and almost respond, when I remind myself that I'm ignoring him when he calls me 'Vin'.

So, instead, I shrug and carelessly toss it over my shoulder. Whatever his game is, I'm not playing it.

I see Toodles sitting not too far away, watching the scene nervously.

I smile at him reassuringly, and start to walk over to him. Or more, away from Pan.

I hear Pan snarl, and grab my arm, as he forces the apple back into my hands.

"We're going to play a little game," he says. "called Target Practice."

I glance back down at the apple, and my stomach plummets as I understand the full meaning of what he's saying. I feel panic rise inside, and it cuts off whatever banter I was thinking of.

_I haven't even been here for twenty-four hours, and he's going to_ kill _me. _

He takes an arrow and starts dipping it in a small bowl.

I bite my lip, as I realize it's poison. I've read enough to know about poison arrows. Great, they're going to be shooting at me with poisoned arrows. At least it will kill me faster.

"I once heard a story," Pan says, as he loads the crossbow. "'about a man who shot an apple off his son's head. Let's see if it's possible."

He calls over Felix, and I feel panic rising in me.

"Is he a good shot?" I ask, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep the fear out of my voice.

_Calm down_, I tell myself. _He needs you for something, remember? So, he's not going to hurt you too badly._

"Doesn't matter," he replies, grinning that secretive smile again.

_Like hell, it doesn't!_

"He's not the one doing the shooting."

Felix takes the apple out of my hand, and grins eagerly.

He places the apple on his head, and steps back, as Pan places the bow in my hands.

My mind clicks in the pieces, and I stare at Pan.

"Are you serious?" I ask, trying to figure out what game he's playing. "What if I miss?"

Meaning:_ "What will happen when I fire this thing at you?"_

"You won't miss," he replies encouragingly, grinning. "Trust yourself, Vin. It's exhilarating."

That's probably the same thing he says about flying. And after flying with him last night, I've resolved to travel by train and car for the rest of my life.

The boys start to chant, "Shoot, shoot, shoot!"

Even Pan and Felix are doing it.

I hold my arrow towards Felix, my mind racing.

I probably will miss. But I don't want to kill Felix, even if I hate him. I just don't want to kill someone. But, Pan most likely has a plan for me to hit the apple, or else the bow wouldn't be in my hands. I have never fired a bow before though. How does he know I won't miss?

Speaking of Pan...

I glance at him, and I realize he's watching me, his other hand twitching as he chants.

_Why would it twitch...oh..._

He expects me to shoot at him. And he has something planned if I do.

I don't want to shoot at Felix at the risk of hitting him. But as much as I want to fire at Pan, he has something planned if I do.

_I refuse to be his pawn. _

Instead of firing, I let the crossbow fall to my side.

"Sorry," I say, dropping it beside me, purposely keeping my voice casual. "don't really feel like shooting today."

_Or tomorrow, or the day after that, or any day after._

Pan meets my eyes, and starts to glare.

"Come on, Vin," he scoffs, "where's the fun in that?"

The fact that I've got him irritated by not letting myself be part of his game makes it pretty fun, actually. He's riled up, and I'm alright.

_Point to Jess._

I hand him back the bow.

"I don't cave into peer pressure, Pan," I reply. "And I don't like being toyed with. So, no, putting a bow in my hands, giving me a target, and telling me to shoot won't work."

He doesn't take the bow, so I set it down, shrugging.

I see Toodles watching me in amazement, and I grin.

Pan catches my smile, and smirks himself.

"So, you aren't going to be doing any shooting?" he surmises.

_Duh. _

"Maybe if you start calling me Jess, we can come to some sort of agreement," I reply, casually walking around camp.

My eyes find the bowl that they dipped the arrow in. A plan forms in my mind as I hear Pan walking up to me.

"Shame," he says. "It's quite a thrill, shooting your first arrow. I try to give all my boys that pleasure."

Oh, so now he's trying to convince me to shooting. If he's trying that, he's desperate. Really desperate.

"Well, as I showed Felix last night, I'm not a boy," I reply, smiling innocently.

I glance at Felix, who is glaring at me. Guess he didn't like that little move I pulled on him.

I could continue this banter, but I want to clear out of here fast.

Pan opens his mouth to reply, and I seize the moment.

I grab the bowl, and splash it at him in the face.

For a split second, I stop, taking in the moment. He always acts like he is somehow in control of the situation. Even when it seems like he isn't winning, he still acts like he is. This is the first time I've seen him not in control of the situation.

He steps back, sputtering and coughing, and the other boys let out cries of horror and shock. I don't know what the poison was, but apparently its bad enough to get even Pan out of his manipulative demeanor for a moment.

Knowing I have only seconds before they turn on me, I snap back into reality, and I take off out of camp as fast as my feet can carry me.

Praying they'll be too distracted with Pan, I rush back into the jungle, with no clear idea of where I'm headed.

_Well, this is certainly déjà vu. Me running through the forest, followed by lots of the Lost Boys, who are trying to hunt me down. _

Only last time, they wanted me alive. Now, seeing how I most likely killed their leader, they'll probably want to gut me like a fish.

I'm pulled from my thoughts, when something jerks me to the side, into the foliage.

I turn, ready to fight, when a hand clamps over my mouth, and another holds me against the tree.

I look down to see a boy, probably no older than fourteen.

He wears the same cloak as the rest of the Lost Boys, but I've never seen him before.

Then again, I haven't really marked all the faces of Pan's group.

I'm about to struggle when our eyes meet. I see something in them that I haven't seen in any of the other Lost Boys: fear, sadness, anxiety, and hardness. Much different from the impatient glee I've seen with the other boys.

_He's not one of them. Maybe I can trust him. _

For a moment, we both remain silent, as I hear the Lost Boys run past our hiding place.

I don't know how many, but several, by the sound of it.

We don't move a muscle, until the sounds of my pursuers has faded. But still, when I turn back to the boy, he still whispers.

"Who are you?" he asks, removing his hand over my mouth.

I meet his eyes again, and decide that for the moment, I should probably trust him.

"Jess Lancaster," I reply, also whispering. "And you are?"

"Baelfire," he replies. "But everyone calls me Bae."

* * *

**A/N: dunh, dunh, DUUUNNNHHH**

Yes, Bae has appeared, and, yes, he will play a large part in this story. I actually really enjoy writing him as a kid on Neverland, because he is not yet Neal, as we see him in OUAT, but he's no longer the little kid we see in the flashbacks. He made that transition from the kid to the adult in Neverland, and it's interesting to write that change, since we don't really know how it happened.

A special thanks to **Dreamer-Girl96, Uncommon Fairy,** and **DreamYourOwnDestiny **for putting this story on alert, and to **Yuki Uzumaki Uchiha Namikaze** and **Uncommon Fairy** for favoriting it. Also, a special thanks to my amazing beta readers, **Uncommon Fairy,** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** for pointing out what parts of Fading Away needed fixed up.

Please, read, review, favorite, follow, or whatever you guys want! My computer is running low without the Spurs playing anymore. **:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT. If I did, we'd see a lot more of Jefferson, and Graham would living and breathing. **

* * *

_Baelfire. _

The name rings a bell, but I can't remember where I heard it. But, at the moment, I can't be distracted by that. Escaping the Lost Boys before they kill me is a bigger priority, right now.

I nod at Bae, and look past the foliage, to make sure that there aren't more Lost Boys leaving camp to look for me. If I did succeed in killing Pan, then this may become a manhunt very quickly.

_Just what I need_, I think sarcastically._ I have to get out of here, and now the entire island may be swarming with Lost Boys trying to kill me. Perfect. _

For a few minutes, Bae and I wait in silence. Finally, it seems that no other Lost Boys are coming out to find me. Bae let's go of me, and steps back.

"Are you the girl they were looking for last night?" he asks, looking over his shoulder, as if waiting for more Lost Boys to appear.

"Yeah," I reply, remembering last night all too clearly.

_I only learned that a fairytale land is real, made a deal with its insane ruler to trade my freedom for Abby's, got chased by psychotic, armed kids, and learned that Peter Pan wants to break me. Makes last night a little unforgettable._

"What did you do?" he asks, looking confused.

"Last night I was just trying to get away from them," I reply with a shrug. "Just now, I may or may not have thrown a bowl of poison at Pan."

His eyes widen, and he gives me a look of half-admiration, and half-shock. I feel my lips twitch into a smile at his expression. If a bunch of Lost Boys weren't chasing me right now, I'd be laughing.

"Why does he want you?" he asks me, after he gets over his shock.

_Dang, this kid asks a lot of questions._

"I don't know," I reply, honestly. "Last night he said something about me saving the Lost Boys. He also said something about breaking me. I'm still not sure what he wants exactly, though."

_And if he wants me to save the Lost Boys, then what was the point of kidnapping Abby? Why take her when the shadow could have easily taken me?_

I hear voices in the distance, pulling me from my thoughts. Bae and I share a look. We don't know if the voices are coming towards or away from us. Either way, we can't stay here, that's for sure.

"Come on," he says, taking my hand and leading me deeper into the jungle.

"Hold on," I hiss, pulling my hand out of his grip. It's time for some questions of my own.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

I trusted him for the moment, because he clearly didn't want the Lost Boys to find him either. But this version of Neverland is definitely different from the story I know. For all I know, he could be leading me into a trap.

_He is different from the Lost Boys, though. I don't think that he's any friend of Pan. He may also be trying to get out of here as much as I am._

"Because Pan wants me too," he replies.

I raise my eyebrows, showing I don't believe his story.

"Look," he says. "I've been trying to escape Pan since I was brought here. I've hidden from him for years. If you don't want them to find you, you're going to need my help."

I weigh my options.

I can either trust this kid, and get caught by Pan, or trust him and be safe for a while.

Well, if I run, Pan will probably find me again. If he survived the poison.

_Well, if he didn't, then the Lost Boys will probably track me down anyway and kill me if I go on. I'm pretty sure this kid knows how to avoid both the Lost Boys and Pan._

"Ok, lead on," I say, nodding.

Bae nods, and leads me through the unfamiliar jungle.

We don't say a word, but just run, until we reach a large pile of rock and vines.

Bae runs over to a vine, and starts to pull.

One rock at the base of the pile moves, slowly being lifted up, so that I can see the entrance of a cave.

Bae silently motions that I enter, and I run in. Bae follows, and the rock falls shut behind us, concealing the entrance.

Bae walks to a corner, and I hear a familiar sound.

As he lights a torch, I realize it was a match striking.

I look around to see a cave, filled with drawings. A small table with bowls and jugs sit in the corner, and a bed is made up in a small alcove.

"Thanks," I say, finally sitting down.

"Don't mention it," he replies.

He sits down next to me, and I finally get a good look at him.

Brown hair and eyes, and a nice face.

_If he ever gets out of Neverland, he'll grow up nicely._

We sit in silence for a while, unsure of what to say or do.

_Besides, I have to catch my breath._

Finally, he breaks the silence.

"Did the shadow take you?" he asks.

I nod, still trying to catch my breath. Even in gym, I've never had to run this long and hard. If we did run, it was usually laps around a nice, smooth track. Not anything like Neverland.

Well, at least it's good for the endurance. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.

"That's strange," Bae says. "Pan doesn't want girls. Not permanently, anyway."

"How do you know?" I ask. "You said that you've hidden from Pan for years."

_Then again, didn't Pan say I was the first Lost Girl? Would that would mean that I'm the first girl who Pan wants to keep? Or I'm really the first girl who Pan brought to Neverland?_

Why would he take girls, anyway? He doesn't exactly seem like the womanizing type. Creepy psychopath who kidnaps girls and tries to mess with them…

_Okay, I can see that._

"I _have_ been hiding," Bae replies to my question. "But before I got taken, I lived with a family, the Darlings. The shadow took their daughter, Wendy, but brought her back after a night, because she was a girl."

My eyes widen in surprise. Did he just say what I think he said?

"Whoa, wait a second," I say, holding up a hand. "Wendy Darling? As in _the _Wendy Darling?"

Bae nods, looking confused.

"You know her?" he asks, and he actually looks hopeful. I feel my heart sink. The poor guy probably thinks that I have news of the Darling family.

"I know _of_ her," I reply. He still looks confused, so I explain further.

"There's this story in my world that I read, about Peter Pan, and Wendy, and her brothers."

"John and Michael?" he asks, nodding.

"Yeah," I reply. "Anyway, the story is a lot different from the real thing. For one, Pan wants his shadow to get reconnected to him, he's actually a pretty nice guy, and Wendy and her brothers willingly go and come back from Neverland. Can't say there's any Balefire in the story, though."

Bae shrugs.

"I was from another world," he says. "Before I met the Darlings. Guess it didn't make sense to put me in."

"Another world?" I repeat, tucking me knees to my chin.

I don't know what to think about this kid, but seeing how I'm in Neverland, and just threw poison at Peter Pan, another world seems perfectly plausible.

Bae nods, but his eyes are bitter. Again, I see that his eyes are not youthful, and mischievous, like the other Lost Boys. They're old, almost tired, yet filled with a fear, as if he'll run at the least suspicious sign.

"So, how did you meet the Darlings?" I ask.

It's not that I want to pry. But something about Bae tells me that he needs to talk about it. If he's been hanging out here for years, like he said, then he probably needs someone to tell.

_Heck, I'll probably tell him everything that happened last night when he's done._

Bae bites his lip, and looks at the far end of the wall.

"My papa wanted to protect me," he murmured, his tone a mix of anxiety yet defense. As if he's trying to make an excuse for what happened.

"He...he had seen the ogre wars," Bae continues, starting to pale. "He knew they were dangerous. So, he got the power of the Dark One through a dagger."

Wait.

The Dark One? The Ogre Wars? A dagger?

Instead of feeling shocked, or confused, it all sounds familiar. I should be looking at this kid like he's crazy, but for some reason, I feel like I know what he's talking about.

_I know this. I can't remember where right now, but I know what he's talking about. How do I know that?_

I nod, silently acknowledging Bae to continue. I'll remember where I heard it later. Right now, I should listen to him. He starts to talk more rapidly, and I can tell the memories still hurt him.

"But the power corrupted him. Twisted him. So, I tried to take us to a land without magic. A place we could be safe. But, when the portal opened, he...he…"

He cuts off, and buries his face in his hands. I guess I was right; he hasn't told anyone this in a while.

Immediately, I feel a sense of empathy and understanding.

Bae's father abandoned him. Just like Dad abandoned me, Abby, and Mom.

"I'm sorry," I say, gently. He still keeps his face in his hands, and I put an arm comfortingly around him.

"If it's any consolation," I continue, "I know how you feel."

That gets Bae looking up, and I smile with understanding.

"My dad abandoned me, my mom, and my little sister," I explain. "All for some slut who 'really got him.'"

I can't keep the bitterness out of my voice, as I say the last part. I remember every detail of the day Dad left.

I was working on algebra, when he came in and kissed me on the cheek. He had told me to be brave, and to that it wasn't my fault. I wasn't sure what he meant, so I followed him to the door. He had put a suitcase in our car, with some redhead I'd never seen before in the passenger seat. The only thing he left was an envelope filled with divorce papers.

I remember running to the car, having figured out what was going on, but he just ignored me, like I wasn't his kid anymore, and drove away. I never saw him after that, and seeing as I'm on Neverland, I'll probably never see him again.

But, I don't tell any of this to Bae. He's just looking at me curiously.

"You have a little sister?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.

I nod, remembering Abby.

"Abby," I say, unable to stop a growing smile. "Sweetest kid you'll ever meet."

"Where is she?" asks Bae. "Is she in Neverland too?"

I pause, unsure how to answer.

_Well, Bae told me his story. It seems only fair that he knows some of mine. _

"No," I reply. "No, she's safe."

I wet my lips, and look at the cave ceiling, and suddenly wish it was my bedroom ceiling. And that the cave was my home. And I could see Abby, Roxanne, Dom, even Mom, again.

Then, before I know it, I'm telling Bae everything that happened. The shadow taking Abby, waking up in Neverland, Pan's deal, the shadow taking me after returning Abby, my running from Felix, Pan catching me, renaming me, and announcing that I was the first Lost Girl.

"...And after I refused to shoot the arrow, I saw the poison, took my chances, and threw it at him," I finish, about ten minutes later.

Bae is a good listener. He didn't interrupt or ask questions throughout the story, but still listened, and nodded at some points.

"So, why would he want you?" he asks, when I'm done. "I mean, why you specifically?"

"I don't know," I reply. "I'm not even sure why he had to kidnap Abby. It seems that it would be easier to just kidnap me and avoid the trouble."

_Unless, it wasn't me specifically? He _did_ say that he only needed Abby. But if he only needed her, and had her with him, why would he make the deal to let Abby go?_

"Maybe the shadow can't tell who it's taking," Bae offers. "I mean, the shadow took Wendy, when it easily could have taken John or Michael. Then, it was going to take Michael because he was a boy, but then it took me. Maybe Pan needed you, and the shadow accidentally took Abby instead."

That sounds plausible, but if that was the case, the shadow could have returned with Abby as soon as Pan realized the mistake. I was still knocked out; it would have been easy to take me.

"Well, whatever the reason," I say. "I just want to escape before his plan actually _starts._ I'd rather get out and not know, then never escape but know what he's planning."

"Do you have any plans?" Bae asks sitting up.

I shrug.

"I've been more focused on getting away from the Lost Boys than getting out of Neverland itself," I admit sheepishly. "I guess I'd try finding the shadow; make it take me back."

_Really, _I think to myself. _That's the best you got? The shadow took Abby and you without hesitation, and it seems to only follow Pan. You really think that it will just bring you back because you ask it to?_

"That won't work," Bay says, confirming what I was thinking. "I've tried using the shadow before. I've tried asking, trapping it, forcing it. Nothing really works."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, and sit up a little, myself. The fact that he's been able to face the thing is an accomplishment in of itself.

"So, any suggestions on how to escape?" I ask. "You seem to be the expert."

Bae shrugs, like it's no big deal.

_The kid was brave enough to try to trap _the shadow_. If there's someone who would have any ideas how to escape, it's Bae. _

"Pan told me that no one gets off the island without his permission, but I've been trying for ages," he explains, modestly. " I've come kinda close a couple of times, but clearly haven't succeeded. But, if you want to help, or if you have any ideas..."

I smile, and stand up as he trails off. It seems I have a partner.

_Which I really need, since I've drawn a blank on how to escape for a while. Granted, I was more focused on escaping the Lost Boys, but still…_

I answer my mouth to reply, when Bae suddenly tenses.

Instinctively, I do so also, and listen.

Outside the cave, are footsteps.

"Vinnnn."

The call comes from a hatefully familiar monotone voice.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Felix calls.

I can hear similar calls around the cave, and my heart plunges to my stomach.

The Lost Boys have found our hideout.

I feel the panic rise within me, and I shove it aside.

_Okay, Jess,_ _think!_

_They're looking for me, but they aren't looking for Bae. So, logically, they don't know that Bae is with me. So, I can escape, and lead them away from Bae._

I turn to Bae, keeping my voice quiet. Even though the stone probably muffles everything, I still don't want to risk anything.

"Is there another way out of here?" I whisper.

Bae nods, and points to a corner of the cave. On closer inspection, I see some sort of large fox tunnel, that I could easily crawl through.

_Perfect._

"Stay here," I order, running to the tunnel.

I can easily crawl out, and with the right distraction, I can get their attention. Or at least lead them away from Bae.

I don't know why I'm so keen on making sure he's safe, but I get the feeling that the Lost Boys will punish anyone helping me.

I feel a fleeting hope that Pan is dead from the poison, but I can't focus on that.

Just as I start to crawl through, I hear Bae's "Wait!"

I get out of the tunnel, and look at him. His face is full of apprehension, reflecting my own.

"You're not giving yourself up!" he says insistently.

"Of course not," I reply, trying to be brief. I don't know how long we have until the Lost Boys figure out how to get into the cave.

"I'm leading them away."

"No," says Bae, stubbornly. "I won't let you put your life on the line for me."

_I really don't have time for this. _

"Look," I explain, an edge in my voice. "I'll lead them away from here, but find a way to lose them. I did it last time, and I can do it again. Then, I'll come back here. If they catch me, then you're still safe."

Bae takes a firm stance, and shakes his head.

_Oh, for crying out loud! _

I'm trying to keep this guy safe.

Well if he can be stubborn, so can I.

I punch him in the face. I feel kind of bad for it, but I'm low on time.

_Desperate times call for desperate measures._

The punch is enough to knock him down, and may knock him out. I don't know. I just scamper through the tunnel, and hope he's not stupid enough to try and follow. If he does, we're both dead.

I pause at the mouth of the tunnel, listening if there are any boys nearby.

Nothing.

As quietly as possible, I creep out of the tunnel, and stand. I see a couple of boys, not too far, immediately duck behind a tree. There are maybe four or five, Felix being one of them.

_Great._

Looking around, I find a rock about the size of my palm. That should work.

Picking it up, I stand, and throw it as far as I can.

The boys all immediately turn to where the rock landed.

"Yes, come on," I breathe. "Take the bait."

A few take off in the general direction, while Felix and the rest follow slowly, not looking convinced.

I exhale as they all disappear through the trees, and take off in the opposite direction.

Only this time, I try to be much quieter, and much stealthier. This time, they're out for blood.

_And to think that I used to think running was the most boring sport in the world. I'm kind of taking that back, now._

I run through the jungle, when I realize that I'm on rocky ground.

_Good, that'll make me harder to track, without footprints in the dirt._

Following the rock, I realize the foliage is becoming less dense, and the sunlight becomes more prominent.

My pace quickening, I burst out of the forest, and out to a cliff.

It has what looks like a fifty foot drop, which is nothing compared to the flight I took with the shadow and Pan last night. The cliff seems to overlook some sort of cove, with aquamarine water. The water is so clear, so perfect.

I want to dive in. I want to swim in it.

_Maybe I will..._

_Snap out of it, Jess!_  
Shaking my head, I look around, and smile at the fact that there aren't any Lost Boys nearby.

_Good._

I take in the sunlight, for just one more moment, and turn to disappear into the forest. I can't stay out in the open for too long.

That's when I hear a _zing,_ and a blade is held against my throat.

"Now, what's a nice lass like you doing in a bad place, like this?" asks someone with an Irish accent.

I close my eyes, and groan.

"You've got to be kidding me," I mutter.

* * *

**A/N:** So, who is holding Jess at a sword point? Where has she heard about Balefire and the Dark One? What does Pan want with Jess? Send reviews with your guesses!

Thank you **LoveFollowsMe,** **meguhanu,** and **merli99 **for putting this story on alert, and **merli99** and **Ashlyn Huang** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Dreamer-Girl96,** **meguhanu**, and **surfingbandit** for your awesome reviews. And, of course, a special thanks to my amazing beta-readers, **Uncommon Fairy** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms.** You guys are great!

Please review, favorite, follow, or whatever you want. You keep my computer running! **:) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: If I owned OUAT, I'd be bragging about it instead of putting in a disclaimer.**

* * *

I open my eyes, and look at the man holding a sword against my throat. He looks to be in his late twenties or early thirties, with dark hair, a scruffy beard, and a long, leather coat.

With him, are maybe five men, who are all dressed in a similar style: cotton trousers, boots, and dirty shirts, with vests or coats. One of his men, who is wearing a knitted, bright red hat, looks kind of twitchy.

I meet the eyes of the man who is holding me at sword point. His blue eyes are suspicious, but curious, like he isn't sure what to make of me.

"Answer the question, lass," he orders. His tone tells me that he's not joking around. He really wants me to tell him what I'm doing here.

_Oh, I'm just running away from the wild boys who are after my blood for killing their leader. You really shouldn't kill me. _

_Yeah, _I think sarcastically, _this guy will love that. _

Instinctively, I raise my hands, showing that I'm unarmed.

"I'm taking in the sights," I answer, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Lots of lovely nature spots in Neverland."

He arches an eyebrow at this, obviously not believing me. Maybe my sarcastic tone gave it away.

"Is she one of his?" asks the twitchy one, nervously.

_'She' is right here, you know. _

I can only guess the guy means Pan. Normally, I'd launch into an explanation of how I'm definitely not Pan's. However, I've been running from Pan and the Lost Boys for a while. I'm tired, and dirty. I haven't had anything to eat in hours. I have one guy holding a sword at my throat, while the other is acting like I'm not here.

_I'm having a bad day; I can be annoyed._

"I'm not a Lost Boy, if that's what you mean," I say, not bothering to hide my annoyance . "The fact that I'm a girl should make that pretty obvious."

_Honestly, is it that hard to figure out? I thought they were called the Lost _Boys_ for a reason._

"Yet you're wearing a hood like Pan's minions," points out the one in leather, who is clearly the leader.

_That's what's bothering him? Seriously?_

"It's a disguise," I explain, exasperated. "Unless they look closely they only see another Lost Boy. I don't allow them to get close enough to look, so they ignore me for a bit. Long enough to get away."

I glance back down at the sword, and shoot a look at the one holding it.

"Now, will you put that thing away?" I snap.

The man actually smiles a little, and removes the sword from my neck.

As he sheathes it, I realize that his left hand is missing. Instead, there's a hook.

My eyes widen, as I realize who these guys are.

Captain Hook, arch nemesis of Peter Pan, who often tries to kill him and his Lost Boys.

_Oh. Crap._

"You alright, love?" asks Hook, noticing my look.

I open my mouth, but don't say anything.

_What do I do? Scram, and hope he won't follow? Try to bargain with him? Jump off the cliff?_

No, I've got to calm down. He believes me to not be one of Pan's club, or at least that I'm harmless. He _probably_ won't hurt me.

"Yeah," I reply, trying to keep my voice steady. It's not exactly working.

He'll want some explanation, but I can't reveal that I know about him. That will probably make him believe I'm in the league with Pan. It would make more sense than the idea that I read about him in a book.

"It's just that, well…"

I gesture to the hook.

Hook looks down, and nods in understanding.

"Don't worry, lass, I won't use it on you," he assures me, his tone slightly joking.

_That's not entirely what I meant, but good to know._

"So, if you're not one of Pan's, then who are you?" asks his twitchy friend.

I can only assume he's Mr. Smee, Hook's best friend and first mate.

"Jess," I reply. "Jess Lancaster."

"And how did you come to this island, Jess?" asks Hook.

"The shadow took my little sister," I explain. "It knocked me out when I tried to rescue her. I woke up in Neverland, somehow, in my dreams. Pan had her, but he offered a trade: me for my sister. I took it, and the shadow brought me here, last night. I've been trying to get out ever since."

I'm surprised at how nonchalant my tone is. One would think I'd be hysterical, or at least still shocked that Neverland alone is real.

I decide not to tell him about Bae, or how Pan has a plan for me. I don't want to see Bae hurt, and if he realizes that I have some value to Pan, he may take me hostage, or use me as a bargaining chip. That's the last thing I need.

The Hook nods at my story, but Smee looks unhappy.

"Captain, if Pan wants her, he may be willing to-," he starts, still acting like I'm not here. Hook cuts him off with a look.

_Wait, is he saying that Pan may be willing to trade a favor for me? _

I want to run and attack the guy for suggesting what I think he is, but if Hook agrees, it may be better to run back into the forest. Better to be on the run than a hostage of Captain Hook, and later put back into Pan's custody.

"Now, Smee, where's your sense of honor?" asks Hook, almost sounding disappointed. "Trading an innocent girl for a favor? Bad form."

I feel a tiny bit of hope, as I look at Hook. He seems to be more respectable than Pan, at least.

_And, he still has that sense of good form from the book. Thank God for that. _

"Y-You won't hand me over to Pan?" I ask, a smile creeping on my face.

He nods, and I feel relief sweep through me for the first time since I came on Neverland.

I know he won't hurt me, and won't use me as a hostage. I somehow know that I can trust him, for the moment.

"He's lying."

I whirl around, recognizing the voice all too well.

Pan is standing at the edge of the clearing, grinning.

_He just refused to die, could he? He _had_ to stick around to toy with me._

"What?" he asks, catching my expression. "Did you think I was dead?"

"I was hoping," I reply through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you're angry now, Vin," he says, sounding excited. "That's good. You're more fun when you're angry.'

"It's Jess, Pan," I correct, short of shouting. "Get that in your thick skull!"

He smirks at this, and I curse myself mentally.

_He's having fun with this. He likes manipulating me, and it's easier to do that when I'm angry. _

So, while I ball my hands into fists, I wipe my face of emotions, and settle for a cool glare.

I catch Hook's chuckle at my insult. I notice that Smee is looking like I'm about to run over his cat, while Hook just looks amused.

Pan turns his gaze to Hook, and I catch the cocky look in his eye.

That gets me angrier, but I hold my temper.

_I can't let him know that he's getting under my skin._

"So, Killian," he says, almost conversationally. "returning my property?"

I have to grit my teeth so hard, that I almost chip my tooth.

_His property?!_

_No, I have to hold my ground. He's trying to get me riled up, so he can manipulate me. _

_I'm no one's property, _I remind myself. _I am my own person. And no cocky bastard in green is going to take that away. _

To his credit, Hook remains perfectly calm. He even wears a self-satisfied grin. I'm not sure if that should worry me or not.

"From what I can tell, she's no one's property," he replies, in the same conversational tone. "In fact, she was extremely vocal about it."

Silently thanking him, I decide to go ahead and like Hook.

"Oh?" says Pan, raising an eyebrow. "And did Vin tell you that she has already settled in to the Lost Ones?"

"If that means throwing a bowl of poison at you, then no," I interject, getting my own small smirk. "How did that medicine taste?"

He gives me a slight glare, and I can't help but smirk even more. Okay, I'm starting to see why he likes it so much. It's fun to do it when you're in control.

_Yeah, so I may not be in control right now. But, still, it's fun._

"Like honey," he replies, smoothly. But I can see the look in his eyes.

_Liar. _

"You know, that's the first time I've not seen you not in control," I say, mocking his confident tone. "Is it possible that I actually surprised you?"

"Oh, I like you, lass," says Hook, giving me a look of respect. "Not every day someone surprises Pan, especially a girl."

"Being a girl gives me a distinct advantage," I reply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And yet, it doesn't prevent the captain from handing you over to me," says Pan, as if trying to steer the conversation back on topic.

_Yes, I've really got him riled up! Point to Jess._

"If that were the case, then why am I still here?" I ask, challengingly.

"Lass," says Hook, warningly.

I catch a glimpse at his face, and I feel a sinking feeling. It isn't guilty, but it it is wary.

"Don't goad him," says Hook, in the same warning tone. "He'll take it all the way."

At this Pan chuckles, and I see the glint in his eyes.

Instinctively, I step back towards Hook.

I must be insane. I think I'm safer with Captain Hook than with Peter Pan.

_Boy, did that Disney movie get things wrong._

I catch a flicker of movement behind the trees out of the corner of my eye. I look back at the area a little more closely, I see a group of boys, hidden in the trees. A lot of boys.

_So Pan has brought reinforcements. And there's only seven of us, if you count Smee. There's no way we can take them. _

For a split second, Pan sees where I'm looking. His eyes meet mine, and I can tell the knows about the other boys. Now, he's going to use them.

I'm about to yell a warning, but Pan is too fast. He gives a shout, "Come on, boys" and the boys emerge from the trees, with wild warrior cries.

Hook draws his sword, and I jump back towards him, but the Lost Boys aren't focused on me or Hook. They instead surround the other pirates, and hold swords, knives, and spears to their throats.

Pan looks on with a dark, smug look.

"Right, then, Killian," he says, almost cheerfully, as he turns to look at Hook. "I think the situation is pretty clear. Hand Vin over, and you'll get your men back."

_Something's up about this. _

Pan has us surrounded. He even has a couple of Lost Boys standing beside him, watching lazily (and, yes, one of them is Felix). He could easily take me away by force. So why is he insisting that Hook hand me over?

Hook looks warily at his men, and then back at me. I realize that he doesn't want to do it. But he has to. What man wouldn't hand over a girl he just met minutes ago, to save his crew?

"Very bad form, Pan," he mutters, trying to make light of the situation.

"I'll do whatever it takes to get back what belongs to me," replies Pan, grinning.

"Why not take me by force then?" I ask, voicing my thoughts. "You could easily drag me off, so why are you making Hook hand me over?"

Hook looks slightly surprised, as does Pan.

"What?" I ask, taking in their glances.

"Hook?" repeats Pan, raising an eyebrow. "Is that what you call him?"

I'm confused. Isn't that what everyone calls him? Captain Hook, of The Jolly Roger?

"Why not?" I ask, shrugging my shoulders.

"It's not bad, Captain," says Pan, glancing at Hook. "I think it suits."

_Wait, wait, wait._

_Is he saying that nobody has called the most well-known pirate in fiction by the name everyone knows him by? That I just gave _Captain Hook _his nickname? _

I feel a little proud, but more amused that after all this time, when there was a _book_ written with the name Captain Hook, he hasn't been called that yet.

_Right, getting off topic._

"You still haven't answered my question," I point out.

Pan smiles, setting up an intentionally fake façade of trustworthiness.

"You need to learn, Vin," he explains, his voice almost affectionate, "on Neverland, the only people you can trust, are me and the Lost Boys. Your family."

_Oh, so that's his game. _

Another mind game to make me think that I can trust no one but him. To make me give in, by believing I can only trust the Lost Boys. To make me eventually believe that, for the right price, everyone here will betray me.

"Well,_ Hook_?" asks Pan, purposely emphasizing the pirate's new nickname.

_That name will go down in pirate history. And I just gave it too him._

I glance at him apologetically, in case he doesn't like the nickname, but he seems fine with it. If anything, he seems to be squirming with indecision. Because he doesn't want to do it.

Suddenly, I smile, for several reasons.

For one, I know that Hook doesn't want to hand me over. He needs to because of Pan's hostages he will, but he's still reluctant. He doesn't want to betray me.

And if he doesn't want to betray me, I can trust him.

Second, now I also know that Pan doesn't know about Bae. If he did, he'd be trying to convince me that I couldn't trust him either.

And, finally, because Pan made a mistake. In his attempts to get me to trust him, he has given me an ally. He meant for Hook to betray me, but I now know that I can trust Hook, and not Pan. He slipped up without knowing it.

He made the first mistake, not me.

For all of his and the Lost Boy's talk about Peter Pan being invincible, he made the first mistake in this fight.

He isn't invincible at all. He can be beaten.

Which means, I can win against him. I can escape Neverland.

I won't let Hook go through the guilt of handing me over. I give a quick glance at the cliff we're standing on, and subtly step closer to the edge.

"It's not a bad game," I say cheerfully, excited my new realizations. "You are trying to get me to have trust issues.

"The problem is: I know that Hook is trustworthy now. But, that's more of a problem for you. I now trust Hook much more than I trust you."

I see realization creep into Pan's face, and excitement becomes elation.

_I've beat him at this one. Point to Jess. _

My gut tells me to get out of here before he tries to capture me or kill Hook's men. But I can' help but make one last comment.

"I also want you to know that you and your minions are pretty pathetic when it comes to chasing me. I've escaped you guys no less than _twice_ in twenty-four hours, and I'm about to do it again, you warthog faced buffoon. Have a nice day!"

Giving him one last grin and a mock bow, I turn around, run, and jump off the cliff towards the crystalline water.

Several things happen at once as I fall.

For one, I'm flying through the air for seconds, giving out something between a whoop of joy, and a cry of shock at what I just did.

It's not that I'm scared of falling. There was a nadatorium with a high dive where I learned to swim, and this cliff is taller, but it's the same as going off the dive.

It's more that I just jumped _off the cliff_ that surprises me.

Another thing that happens is I hear Pan crying, "NO!" as I fall. I'm not sure what to make of that. But if I've done something that he doesn't want, then I'm alright with it, whatever it is.

And, lastly, I hear Hook's laughter ringing out, which makes me feel even better.

_I've done something that Pan doesn't want. Great!_

I'm pulled from all these thoughts when I hit the water. For a second, I sink towards the bottom, but then I slow, and easily swim to the surface.

I gasp, taking in the air as I break the surface, and look up.

Hook and Pan are standing at the edge, their gazes fixed on me.

"She has spirit. I can see why you like her," says Hook, teasingly.

I hear Pan snarl, and I take that as my cue to dive under the water again.

I don't want him flying down and pulling me out when I'm near the surface.

The water is so clear that I can open my eyes, and see where I'm going as I swim.

I make my way towards the side, where I can climb onto dry ground and run.

I feel some resistance around my upper arms as I swim, and realize that my jacket is slowing me down in the water.

I pause to shrug it off.

It's so buggy in Neverland, I probably won't even need it.

I continue to swim, but hear no sign of Pan pursuing me.

_Have I done it? Have I escaped him again? _

I honestly think the exit had been a little cocky, but I was making it up as I went along. Plus, I realized that Pan had made a big mistake, and that was making me giddy.

I resurface for a brief second for air, when I feel something move under me.

Before I can look down, and register what, I feel a clammy hand grab my ankle, and jerk me under the water.

I immediately struggle, one foot squirming, the other kicking at the hand that holds me. I look down as I'm doing this, and let out a yelp of surprise that comes out as a bubble.

I'm being pulled down by a mermaid. A real, living, blonde mermaid, with a shimmering aquamarine tail, and a triumphant grin on her face.

The grin gets me to snap out of my shock, and I resume my kicks and struggles.

_I've just escaped Peter Pan himself, and befriended Captain Hook, before taking a fifty foot plunge off a cliff. I will not go out drowned by a psycho mermaid!  
_She grabs my other foot as I'm kicking, and pulls me down further, ignoring my struggling.

I feel my lungs burning, needing oxygen, and it's all I can do not to exhale. I do that, and I'm done for.

My kicking has subsided a little, as we go deeper, and I'm simply struggling to hold in what little air I have left, but the mermaid still keeps a death grip on my ankles.

_Why? Why is she so intent on drowning me? _

That's probably my last clear, and conscious thought I'll ever have.

_No, I can't drown. I've come...too far...need to...Abby…_

Everything seems to fade to black, and I know it's the end.

Something has changed, and I can't register what. All I feel is me slipping away, into the airless, cold, dark.

Suddenly, I'm aware of one thing that's around me: _air._

I gasp, taking in as much of it as I can.

I have no idea where I am, or what's going on, but am simply intent on filling my empty lungs. I'm vaguely aware that I'm on solid ground, and I roll over, coughing and gasping.

A hand is over my chest, firmly pushing and relaxing on my ribcage, helping me get my breathing pattern back to normal.

For a few minutes, I'm fighting a battle to refill my lungs.

Finally, I feel my lungs working properly again, and take long, slow breaths.

_Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. _

I lay my head down on what feels like solid rock, and close my eyes, allowing myself to give in to the exhaustion that has flooded through me.

"That's it, Vin," a voice murmurs. "Rest."

Before I pass out, I register whose voice it is, but I'm asleep before I can even feel fear.

* * *

**A/N: So the storm clouds gather...**

Yes, Hook has made his appearance, and like Bae, he will be playing a big role in the story. But, unlike Bae, I don't enjoy writing Hook because of the character development. I love writing Hook because-well, he's Hook. He's awesome.

Thank you **FurySaidtoaMouse**, **AngelofDeath1231**, **Kuroppoi Kitsune**, **julseykins,** **nobodyinamerica**, and **stygge-ulven **for putting Fading Away on story alert, and thank you **AngelofDeath1231, julseykins,** and **nobodyinamerica **for favoriting it. Also, a special thanks to **meguhanu, julseykins, Uncommon Fairy,** and **Brenna** for your awesome reviews. And, of course, a special thanks to my amazing Betas, **Uncommon Fairy,** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms.**

Please review, follow, favorite, or whatever you want. You guys are keeping my computer running! **:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Yes, I own OUAT! Just try to prove me wrong!**

* * *

Peter watched over Vin for a moment before he stood, telling himself to stay calm. Rash anger would make him lose control. Calm, controlled anger gave him an edge over his opponents. It gave him an advantage in the game.

Still, that had been too close. Far too close.

He doubted Vin knew that she was diving into Mermaid Lagoon when she jumped off the cliff, or she wouldn't have jumped.

_Unless_, he thought. _I've pushed her too hard. If she is already trying to kill herself…_

No, he hadn't pushed her that far yet. She had only been in Neverland for less than a day, and he had no doubt in her resolve to return to her little sister.

Part of him hoped that her resolve would last. He had not had this good of a game in breaking a Lost One for ages. And it was always the ones with the most spirit that were the most loyal. Felix had taken him almost two years to break. Rufio broke only slightly sooner than his brother. That was centuries ago. Now, he never doubted either brother's loyalty for a moment.

But, no matter how much fun he had, he needed to tread carefully with Vin. He had plenty of time left to break her, but he had to make sure that he also had her unwavering loyalty, should the time ever come.

If his plan worked, that is.

But, he'd be lying if he didn't admit that he enjoyed this game they were playing. When he had kidnapped the little girl, he was hoping that Vin would not be like Wendy. Wendy had been in awe for about half an hour, then realized that Neverland wasn't the perfect dreamland she had imagined. It was, in many ways, the complete opposite.

She had cried, whined, and struggled. She got boring very quickly. She hadn't changed when she came returned to Neverland.

After she came back, Peter had resolved not to bring any girls to the island. They talked too much. He wouldn't have kidnapped the little girl, or brought Vin to the island if he didn't have too. As soon as he saw the little girl in tears, he thought he was bringing another Wendy to the island.

Vin, however, had proven to be stubborn, and relatively good at hiding her fear. He could see her fear of him in her eyes, but she was good at covering it, otherwise

And her ploy with the bowl of Dream Shade? Wonderful!

And throwing herself off a cliff?

Well, may have been stupid, but at least she had spirit.

Had he met her the first time he was a boy-when he as a blacksmith's apprentice-he would have been smitten by her.

But he didn't love in Neverland. He had friends in the Lost Boys, but he didn't love them. Love of any kind, especially any romantic love, would make him grow up. Love made one mature, develop. Grow up.

Besides, it would bring back the feelings he had once had for Esme', his wife, and their son, Rumple-

_No, he wouldn't think about Rumple! He had given him up. When he did, he had become a boy. A boy can't have a child as old as Rumple. And Peter was still a boy. Therefore, Rumple couldn't be his son._

He had told himself this almost religiously for three hundred years. It was now a habit. It still didn't take away the pang of guilt he had taught himself to ignore, though.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he looked back at Vin. She seemed to be alright, but she was out like a candle.

He stood, and unsheathed his dagger.

If Vin died before the time came, then all of this would be for naught. And he really didn't want it to end so fast. He loved playing with her.

But the mermaids needed to know exactly what happened when they messed with his toys.

He dove underneath the water, leaving Vin on the shore.

He doubted she'd wake and run before he was done, but if she did, it would just add to the game.

He swam through the lagoon, towards the underwater cave beneath the cliff.

When he first came to Neverland, a mermaid had kissed him when he flirted with her. A kiss from a mermaid ensured that the receiver of the kiss would never drown. Maybe he should have one kiss Vin, in case she pulled anymore stunts like this.

Swimming into the cave, he saw dozens of mermaids, swimming around him, within the cave.

He turned to one on the edge, a dark-haired one with silver-blue eyes.

_"Where is she?"_

The words came out as bubbles. Luckily, the mermaids could understand any talk underwater. And they knew who he was referring too.

She looked at him fearfully, and pointed a trembling hand towards the back of the cave.

He followed her point, and saw the mermaid who had almost drowned his toy. Her gaze met his, and he smirked at the fear creeping onto her face. He swam towards her, ready to pursue if she fled, but she seemed to be frozen with fear. It was pathetic, really.

"Please," she begged, her voice somehow understandable underwater. "I thought that she and you were...were...I couldn't let anyone be with you, Peter!"

He paused, and would have burst out laughing if he weren't so intent on seeing her punished.

She had thought that he and Vin were in love? Hardly. That would ruin the entire point of giving up his son.

_He wouldn't think about Rumple!_

He ignored the pang of guilt, and focused on his task. Without saying anything, he stabbed her in the stomach. Nowhere that would kill instantly, but in a place that would either kill her painfully and slowly, or let her live in constant agony if her sisters somehow saved her.

He really didn't care if she lived or not. His message was made clear. Vin would be safe from the mermaids, in the future.

Swimming out of the cave, and resurfacing, he saw that Vin's body wasn't there.

Smirking at this new part of the game, he swam to the shore, and looked on the sand for tracks.

Two sets of footprints, one set that was all over the place, as if someone had been stumbling around, while the other supported them.

Vin.

Well, she was definitely resilient, he'd give her that.

* * *

When I open my eyes, I'm not sure where I am. My eyes are open, but it still feels like I am asleep.

For a few minutes, I lay there, staring uncomprehendingly at the ceiling above me. Ever so slowly, my senses come back to me, as I take in everything.

I'm wrapped in a warm blanket tightly, like a cocoon. My bed isn't that soft, but it's not a hammock.

_Good. If it was, that would me I'd be back in Pan's camp. _

There's light, but no sunlight at all. Just candlelight.

_How long have I been out?_

Slowly, the memories come back to me. I had met Captain Hook, and had jumped off the cliff. I was being drowned by a mermaid, when someone pulled me out.

_Pan._

I immediately sit up, and whip my head around. I may not be in the Lost Boy's tree, so why is Pan keeping me here?

"You're awake," says a relieved voice.

I look and find a familiar boy standing up from a coconut shell, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Bae?" I ask, uncomprehendingly.

_I left him in the cave. What are we doing here?_

I pause, and take in the rest of my surroundings. We're in his cave.

_So how did I end up here?_

"How," I start, but Bae gets up, and starts to explain.

"After you ran, I waited until they were gone," he says. "When they were, I followed your tracks to the cliffs above Mermaid Lagoon. I saw the pirate attack you, and I was going to go out and help, but he lowered his blade, so I figured you were all right.

"I didn't want to be seen by him, but then Pan came, and you jumped off the cliff. I knew what was down in the lagoon, so I followed you. I saw Pan pull you out of the water, but then he dived in himself. So I took you back here."

_Well, isn't he quite the hero?_

I notice the makings of a bruise on his cheek, where I punched him, and I feel a pang of guilt.

"Sorry, about that," I say, gesturing to his cheek.

He touches it gingerly, and shrugs.

"You were trying to look after me," he replies.

His look becomes more serious.

"Just...don't ever pull a stunt like that again," he orders.

I raise my eyebrows, and give him a surprised, yet challenging look.

"And how are you going to stop me?" I ask, smiling teasingly.

"Pan wants you for something," Bae insists. "He wouldn't bring you here, unless he did. And whatever Pan wants, it can't be good. You can't be risking your life and run, because then Pan will catch you, and he will put his plan for you into action."

I feel a little touched that this kid cares so much, but I can't help but wonder why he cares so much.

_Probably because he can't stand Pan winning. _

I can't stand the idea either, and I've been here for less than twenty-four hours.

_I think._

"How long was I asleep?" I ask, slowly climbing out of the small alcove that makes up his bed.

Just this small action make me dizzy, and I mentally tell myself to take it even slower.

"Maybe four or five hours?" Bae replies, shrugging. "It's hard to say. Time stands still in Neverland. You forget about it after a while."

"I know you don't age," I point out. "But can't you count how many days you've been here?"

Bae glances at a side of the wall that I hadn't noticed before.

It's covered with tally marks, with at least a year's worth.

"You _have_ been keeping track," I note, looking at the wall.

"I _did_," corrects Bae. "But after a while, you just give up keeping count. And its kind of impossible to know exactly how many days have passed."

I give him a questioning look, and he continues.

"Pan controls what time of day it is. Time stands still, so you can't really count hours, or minutes. So, sometimes he'll make it night for what feels like weeks, while other times, he'll make it seem like a regular day and night, or sometimes he'll just throw in a few hours of one."

I nod, seeing why it would be impossible to count time. I'm not aging, I'm literally living in the exact second I was taken to Neverland. Time will move around Neverland, but we stay still.

A horrible thought occurs to me. Abby, Mom, and Roxanne all aging, growing old, and dying without me near them. While I stay seventeen, they grow up and die.

I try to focus on something else, something more cheerful, but all I can think about is Abby, growing into a beautiful woman, and then an old one. And I'm not there with her.

"Are you okay?" asks Bae.

"Fine," I lie, still staring off into space.

Bae clearly doesn't buy it, but shrugs, and stands up.

"Want something to eat?" he asks. "Because I'm starved, and-."

Suddenly, I tense, at a familiar feeling.

Like something is looking me up and down, analyzing me. And a twisted feeling, like darkness radiating from something.

The shadow.

"Bae," I murmur, trying to sound casual. I can't let it know that I know that it's here. "We have to get out of here."

Bae turns to me, looking surprised, when he suddenly tenses to.

"Don't look behind you," he mutters. "Just come towards the torch-light."

_It's right behind me then. Come to take me back to Pan._

My memory flashes of last night, how I told Abby to come to me, and the shadow still took her. Breathing slowly, I move at snail's pace towards the torchlight. Suddenly, before I can say or do anything, the shadow launches itself, not at me, but at _Bae_.

There's a horrible ripping sound, and Bae cries out in agony.

He's trying to jerk away from the shadow, as it pulls at something. I realize it's another shadow, but this one has the same shape as Bae.

Adrenaline pumps through me, and I grab the torch from the wall.

"Get away from him!" I cry, swinging the torch at the shadow.

It lets out a strange, horrible wail, and recoils from the fire.

"Back! BACK!" I shout, thrusting the torch closer at it.

The shadow let's go of what it was holding onto, and backs away.

_Finally._

It feels good to be in control of something. For a minute, I'm not the helpless one. The thought scares me a little, but I shove it aside.

"Tell Pan that if he wants to get me," I snarl at the shadow. "He should find me himself, not send his minions after me!"

Bae's panting beside me, and I look down at him, making sure that the torch is between the shadow and I.

"Are you alright?" I ask, nervous.

I'm not sure what the shadow was doing, but it sounded painful.

"Yeah," he replies, even though he looks anything but fine.

I turn to look back at the shadow, ready to either charge it with the torch, or tell it to scram, when it points to the torch. The flame flares up, at least five feet high, and I drop the torch in shock. As soon as I drop it, the flame goes out, plunging me, Bae, and the shadow into darkness.

"Bae?" I call, feeling down beside me.

"Here," he replies, grabbing my arm. "We need to get to the tunnel, Jess!"

I start to nod when I remember that he can't see me.

"Okay," I reply, and we stumble through the dark.

I look around my surroundings, trying to find the shadow's glowing eyes. If it comes near, I don't know how we're going to be able to fight it. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and I sense that something is very, very wrong.

I realize that, that something is behind me.

I turn, expecting to see the glowing eyes of the shadow, but I see none.

Instead, an all too familiar voice hiss in my ear, "I'm right here, Vin."

I cry out, and instinctively shove my elbow back. It falls through the empty air, and I hear a dark chuckle.

"Jess?" calls Bae, uncertainly.

"Missed me, Vin."

Pan's voice comes from beside me, and I raise my free hand to swat at him. Again, I miss.

"I'm here, Vin."

Behind me.

"No, I lied, I'm here."

In front of me.

"Right here, Vin."

From the other side of the cave.

I feel panic seep through me, and my breath quickens at his taunts. He's found me. And he's coming to take me.

"Stop it, Pan!" shouts Bae. "Leave her alone."

I feel a bit of relief that Bae can hear him too, and it's not just me.

"Vi-in," calls Pan, in a soft, sing-song voice. "Come and find me, Vin."

I try to ignore his voice, and I feel the cave wall.

"Bae, I've found the wall," I mutter, excitedly. "We can follow it out."

"Not unless I find you first."

Pan's voice is literally a hair's breadth away from me.

I nearly scream, turn around, and try to hit him.

But he's gone. And I've lost my handhold on Bae.

"Bae?" I call, urgently. "Bae, where are you?"

"Here." Bae's voice comes from the darkness, somewhere in front of me.

I stumble forwards blindly, towards his voice, and feel someone in front of me.

"Bae?" I hiss, uncertainly.

"Right here," replies the person.

Feeling another hint of relief, I reach out, and take hold of him. Immediately, I let go, at the icy hand I grabbed.

"Found me, Vin," says Pan, sounding like he's about to laugh.

I feel his hand grab me, and I scream, as he pulls me towards him.

"Don't be scared, Vin," says Pan's taunting voice. "I'm not going to hurt you. You're too valuable."

With that, the darkness that surrounds me vanishes, and I find myself looking at Pan's smirking face, in the middle of the Lost Boy's camp.

* * *

**A/N**:

So, there you have it! We saw Pan's point of view. Just so y'all know, there will be more times we see the story from other character's points of view. Those times will always told in the third person, to avoid confusion with Jess's perspective. Jess's point of view is always going to be in the first person. Just as a heads up!

Thank you **23a, ****CMalwaysHP, Goofy-Goober3D, **and **NeedtoRead10** for putting this story on alert, and **scorpiongirl92** for your awesome review! And, as always, a special thanks to my beta-readers, **Uncommon Fairy,** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms. **You guys are amazing!

Please review, follow, favorite, or whatever y'all want! Opinions of Pan's point of view are especially appreciated; it is not easy to write a dark character like him! **:****)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Due to unforseen circumstances, today's disclaimer has been cancelled. **

* * *

I take a moment to get ahold of my surroundings, then another to control my feelings.

I'm not sure what Pan was playing at in the cave, or how we got to the camp, but I can't let that affect me. Pan wants me to fear him; his little game in the cave proved that much to me.

But he needs me alive for something, or else he wouldn't have saved me from the mermaids. And, he wants me to trust him, and him alone, which means he needs me to be willing to do whatever it is he needs me for.

So, he may try to scare me, but for now, I know he won't hurt me. Therefore, I don't have to be afraid of him.

_But still, how he acted in the cave…._

He managed to effectively make me feel insecure, by acting like a ghost in a horror movie. He was able to play me like a well tuned piano, and that's enough to get my skin crawling at the very least.

At the most, it makes me wonder if I actually have a chance of escape.

_No, I have to. I have to be able to escape. I promised Abby I'd come back, and I will._

I exhale, and give Pan a condescending look.

"Let go of me," I say calmly.

We've played this game last night, but this time, I intend to win.

"You've already tried that, Vin," replies Pan. "I don't think it will work a second time."

I want to hit him, to punch him, kick him. Anything to get my hand out of his cold grip.

But I refuse to react like that. It will only show him how successful he is in getting under my skin.

So, I simply shrug, like it doesn't bother me.

"Why did you save me from the mermaid?" I ask, switching topics.

If I fight him over letting go of me, I know we'll just launch into some banter that he'll love, and I won't get free until he makes me feel scared or insecure again.

_I won't let that happen. _

"I need you, Vin, because you are a very special person," Pan answers. "Someone that we here in Neverland have needed for quite some time, without even knowing."

And, now he's launching into a mysterious, ominous reason. I wonder if he is just like this naturally, or he enjoys being a dramatic.

I know from his look that he is just dying for me to ask what I am that is so important, so I don't.

_He gets under my skin, I get under his. _

Besides, I resolved to not answer to Vin, anyway.

Pan notices my refusal to respond, and continues before the silence becomes too obvious.

"A Dreamer," he continues. "You, Vin, have the heart of a Dreamer. And not just any Dreamer. You are-by far-the most powerful one that I have ever seen."

I don't know what a Dreamer is , but apparently, it's pretty important. Still, though, I mask my confusion, and keep myself from asking.

_I'm not playing his game. No matter how much he baits me, I'm not playing it. Not until he calls me Jess._

I can tell Pan is getting annoyed by my silence, so I give him a completely innocent smile, that he obviously doesn't buy.

The boys in camp, who were playing some game of throwing knives on the ground, are now watching the two of us intently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to be awed by that statement?" I ask, after a brief silence.

The look Pan gives me makes me want to shrink back, but cheer at the same time.

I'm annoying him. And it's fun. But at the same time, I know that I'm starting to push him. The last thing I need is for Pan to lose his temper. I don't want to be the one receiving his anger if that happens.

However, I need to know what he needs me for. If I can find out, I can use it to my advantage. And, figuring out what the heck a Dreamer is would be a big help.

But I'm not going to give him the pleasure of seeing how confused I am.

_No, I do this on my own terms._

"Fine," I say, rolling my eyes, with a fake, exasperated sigh. "What's a Dreamer?"

This makes him look weak. It gives the appearance that I know what he's talking about, and his dramatics have failed to impress me. As if he's acting dramatic for no reason.

I sense his grip weaken as he's about to explain, and I pull out of his grip. Last time, even though I tried to hide it, he probably knew I was scared of him from how much my hand was shaking. I really don't need that.

Even though I'm out of his grip, I don't try to run. I think its pretty clear that I can't run while I'm in the camp. The Lost Boys will either stop me or catch me.

"There are several types of people, Vin," he explains, trying to regain his bravado. "Two are practically born for Neverland: Believers and Dreamers."

He starts to circle me like a vulture, and I turn, making sure to keep my eyes on him. I don't want him to pull anything.

"You see, in Neverland," he continues. "All you have to do is think of something to have it. You have to think of it, and you have to believe you have it. Dreamers and Believers get it off easily. Believers can do the second part in the blink of an eye. All they have to do is believe. They can get almost anything, so long as they put their mind to it.

"But Dreamers, they are just as powerful on Neverland, if not more so. They can think up the most unbelievable things, down to the finest detail, and they will have it. They just have to believe that Neverland's magic will get it for them. And you, Vin, are most definitely a Dreamer."

I try to keep emotion off my face, but I can't help but wonder what he means by all of that.

_So I'm a "Dreamer" apparently. So what?_

"How do you know that?" I ask, crossing my arms. My tone makes it sound like I'm testing him, instead of asking because I don't know.

I catch the look in his eyes, and I know that he sees through my act. He continues, though, as if it doesn't matter.

"Dreamers all have similar traits, Vin," he explains.

"They all have very, very powerful imaginations. They look at confusing situations, and figure them out like puzzles within minutes. Their dreams are clearer, and they remember their dreams for longer.

"I send the shadow to search for people who are potentially Dreamers. When it finds one, it steals the one person closest to the Dreamer, and knocks the Dreamer out. If they are truly a Dreamer, they will be so intent on finding their loved one, they will be able to enter Neverland."

I get a sinking feeling in my gut, as he describes it all so casually. He's been having his shadow stalk and kidnap people, and he acts like it's nothing. It's sick.

I give him a look of complete disgust, but he only smirks.

"If they are powerful enough to find Neverland," he continues. "They'll be able navigate Neverland, to find where their loved one is being held. And then..."

He cuts off to chuckle, as if remembering something fondly.

"Then I cast the spell to wake them up. If they wake up before I can offer the deal I offered you, then they are slightly less powerful as I need them to be."

So that's what happened. I'm not the first. I was just one of the ones that got through in time to save Abby.

"But you, Vin," he says, pointing at me. "You were resisting that spell, the moment I cast it. I cast it as soon as you found our camp, and started to free your sister. But you would just _not_ wake up. I had to put the spell on a second time for you to wake up."

"So?" I ask, feeling apprehension creeping in.

"So?" repeats Pan, as if in disbelief. "Vin, I can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of Dreamers who are able to find camp, alone. When you resisted that spell, you showed just how powerful you truly are."

I stare at him, and grip my hands into fists.

"And what would have happened if I had woken up before you made the deal? Or if I wasn't even a Dreamer?" I ask.

_Heck, why did he have to make the deal, anyway?_

There has to be some better method of testing a Dreamer's power besides kidnapping a loved one. The shadow could have easily carried me off without taking Abby.

"We always need more recruits," Pan replies, smiling. He gives me a piercing look, and the truth dawns on me, just before he says it.

"You wondered why you can hear children crying, Vin. Lets just say that their Dreamer wasn't able to stay asleep long enough."

I've tried to hold back my feelings, up until now.

Feelings of anger, shock, and revulsion fill me, and I'm not sure how to express them.

He kidnaps children, so that others can come, and try to get them. I'm the only one who actually succeeded. He has kept all the children that he stole, because the Dreamers weren't fast enough, or strong enough. Or they want even Dreamers at all.

_That's what would have happened to Abby if I hadn't made in time…if I hadn't been powerful enough…_

The thought of my innocent little sister, as a prisoner on this island, forced to stay with Pan. To be a pet for him to play with.

I think of all the children crying in the room last night. Of Toodles. Was he one of those children taken by Pan? He said he had no siblings, just his mother and his friends.

_Was one of his friends a Dreamer who wasn't fast enough? Or even worse, was it his mother? Was she a possible Dreamer who didn't reach her son in time, and is doomed to never see him again?_

I back away from Pan, my face and eyes conveying my feelings for what he has just told me.

"You...sick...insane...twisted...bastard!" I exclaim, struggling to find the right words.

He grins, as if reveling in what I'm calling him.

"Why do you need me?" I ask, trying to keep myself from shouting. "Why do you need a Dreamer, Pan? Why do you have to kidnap innocent kids?"

Pan chuckles darkly, and it's all I can do not to look away.

"Because, Vin," he says. "You are the most powerful Dreamer I have ever seen. Neverland will give you whatever you imagine. And whatever I tell you to imagine."

_So that's it. He wants to make me a weapon. A tool to make whatever he needs, whenever he wants. _

"No," I say, looking straight at him. "No, there's more to this. You're not telling me everything. Why did you need to make the deal with me? Why do you need a very powerful Dreamer?"

"I only take the best," Pan replies, airily. "If I'm going to have a Dreamer, I need one that I know will be powerful enough to give me what I have in mind. And trust me, Vin, the stuff to comes to my mind is very, very complex."

It feels more like a promise than a warning. He's promising me a life as a slave, creating whatever crazy things that come into his mind.

My mind is reeling, and I simply stand, almost dazed. I'm able to grasp at one clear thought.

"I will get away," I murmur, to myself.

Pan raises an eyebrow, and cocks his head.

"What was that, Vin?" he asks.

_Yes, it's true. I will escape. I have to. Not just for Abby's sake, but for my own. _

If Pan is truly planning to do what he says he's done, then I have to get out. If I don't, I'll become like the Lost Boys: bending towards Pan every whim, with unending loyalty.

Or worse, I'll lose my mind completely. Become a broken shell of who I am, tucked away in the corner of camp, until Pan needs me to do something.

_A mindless weapon for him. _

I look at Pan and meet his eyes.

"I will escape, Pan," I repeat, defiance welling in me. "I'm no tool for you to use when you need something. If what you say is true, then Neverland will give me whatever I need. I guarantee you, Pan, I will use every last ounce of magic, to get away. You won't be able to use me, Pan. I will get out."

Pan's face tells me he's unimpressed, but the look in his eyes tells me otherwise. It's a mixture of eagerness, and glee, but anger and fear at the same time.

"I'm sure," he replies, dryly, as if he doesn't believe me.

For a moment, we just stand there, glaring at each other, neither one willing to break their gaze first.

Finally, Pan looks away, and I inwardly cheer. I won this round.

_Point to Jess!_

"So, shall we get started?" asks Pan, as the boys slowly go back to their games.

"With what?" I ask, leaning casually against a tree, with my arms crossed, a position that looks both rebellious and uncaring.

"You want to learn how to use magic, don't you?" he replies. "If you're so intent on _escaping_?"

He emphasizes the word with so much sarcasm, it takes all my willpower to not stalk away.

_Actually, maybe I will. _

Let him think I just need to cool down, and really get away. Preferably someplace he can't reach me.

But, he does have a point.

If I am going to get away, I do need to know at least how to use magic. But I can't exactly concede this point to Pan, so I simply shrug, my expression a bored façade.

Pan smirks, and I know he sees the truth. Well, he can't prove it if he calls me out on it.

"Open your hand," he instructs, demonstrating.

I roll my eyes, as if to say _If I must,_ and hold out my hand in front of me.

"Now close your eyes, and imagine something," he continues, sounding like a parent instructing a small kid how to play a game. "What do you want to eat? I take it you're hungry."

My stomach growls, agreeing with that last part. It's true, I haven't eaten since I got here last night, and I'm starved.

_But I won't think of that. I do this on my own terms._

Instead, I imagine something else.

I imagine that it is sitting in my open hand.

I can practically feel the texture on my fingers, the weight slightly pushing down my hand, the smell of the paper…

By now, I've completely tuned out what he is saying. Instead, I focus on what he said before.

_Okay_, I think, _Neverland's magic gives you anything, so long as you believe in it. I believe that it is giving me this right now, and I believe that I'm holding it._

I hear the Lost Boys whooping loudly, and I open my eyes.

In my hand sits a copy of _The Silver Chair_.

I shouldn't be too surprised, as Pan told me this would happen. But it still doesn't take away the shock that the book suddenly appeared in my hand. Or that I made it.

Pan is watching me, looking somewhat proud, and the Lost Boys are watching with awe.

Hesitantly, I raise my other hand, and stroke the cover.

_Yes, the book is real. _

I open it to a random page, and recognize the part about meeting the Lady of the Green Kirtle. I read the page eagerly, and find that every word is the same.

_A perfect copy._

By reading the page, I think of Abby. This book is like having a bit of her with me, reminding me of how I we spent time together, bonding over this book.

Tears sting my eyes, as I take in this precious treasure.

"A book?" scoffs one boy. "Out of all the things you could think of, you choose book?"

I don't reply, but simply sink down to the ground, absorbing the story, as I rapidly read. I take in the story, the beauty of the words, and the way they are written. It is a child's book, but reading it makes me feel grown up. Nobody did it like C.S. Lewis.

"Do you eat those?" asks another boy, referring to how Pan suggested food.

_I don't eat books; I devour them. _

I read, and take in the stories, the knowledge, the wisdom they offer. These boys can't even begin to understand the priceless value of this book.

"Well, Vin?" asks Pan, looking down at me.

I look up at him, tears of joy brimming in my eyes.

"Thank you for teaching me, Pan," I say, smiling.

Somehow, the anger and fear I had felt before is gone. I hate him, but I can't feel anything but good right now.

I stand up, and clutch the book as if it were my first-born son.

"Now I can fight you," I continue. "Now I can use all of Neverland's magic against you. But most of all, I can remember."

I look down at the book, and my smile grows.

"I can create things like this. Things that remind me of my family. Of why I'm going to escape you."

I glance at the Lost Boys, and I know that soon they're going to get back to their loud, and rowdy games. I'm not in the mood to fight them right now, but I can't run either.

So, instead, I walk away, to a corner of camp, that's away from all the noise.

I pause for a moment, and turn to meet Pan's dark look. He's seen it. He's seen that he's given me a tool, not something to win me over.

"And it's Jess," I add, before heading to my quiet corner.

Plopping down, I close my eyes, and imagine a bowl of ramen noodles, with a fork (I need to nail the important details). I open my eyes to the steaming bowl of pasta, and smile.

For the first time since the shadow took me, a sense of content runs through me, as I happily hum to myself, opening the book, and digging in to the ramen.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys! Me again (who else would be writing these?)

So, we now know why Pan wanted Jess specifically. Is there more to it than her being a powerful Dreamer? Absolutely! But, that won't come until later (hahaha, mine is an evil laugh)!

Also, over a thousand views in less than a month? Seriously? Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! You guys are all amazing, especially **Kitten825 **and **Shimmering. Water17** for putting this story on alert, **Kitten825** for favoriting it, and **Kitten825, scorpiongirl92, Female Whovian, **and **emanderson** for their awesome reviews! And, of course, a special thanks to my betas, **Uncommon Fairy **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**!

Please follow, favorite, or review, or whatever y'all want to do! Reviews about the Dreamer concept are greatly appreciated. Let me know it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly! **:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT. Actually, I don't own much of anything, so if you're thinking of robbing me, just don't bother. **

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The night drifts on rather uneventfully.

The Lost Boys play their games, but I don't participate.

I just sit in my corner, and read.

What's great is that even when I finish a book, I can just think of another without hesitation. I haven't moved since I sat down.

A small stack of books sit beside me, as I read, tuning out the Lost Boys. Everything from Lewis, to Tolkien, to Hugo, to Baum. I can't get enough.

Pan sometimes shoots me dark scowls, that I innocently look up at, only for him to turn into a smirk at the last second. At this, I shoot him a smirk of my own, and continue my reading. Pan was probably hoping to change me into a female version of the Lost Boys, with their games of throwing weapons, and fighting one another. Instead, he's got an intellectual, who prefers reading.

_The most powerful Dreamer, choosing to read instead of hangout with a bunch of killer boys who don't grow up. And he's surprised?_

At one point, Pan gets a smug look, and pulls out a set of pipes. I look up from _The Fellowship of the Ring_, watching as he blows into them.

His pipes must be broken, because I don't hear a sound. But his minions must be intent on pleasing him, because they all get up and start dancing.

_Pitiful._

I roll my eyes, and get back to reading about Frodo and Sam. I feel Pan's eyes on me, and I know he's scowling again. I guess he hoped to get me dancing to pipes that I couldn't hear.

But as I look up again, I'm not so sure. Even the boys who were crying last night are dancing.

_That's kind of strange. But, hey, it's none of my business if they want to dance around._

"You don't want to join the party?"

I see Pan coming over to sit beside me, clearly trying to start a conversation.

_So he missed our usual banter. I'm touched._

"I'm doing alright on my own, thanks," I reply coolly, clearly telling him I want to be left alone.

But he doesn't leave. He just watches, as if trying to figure me out.

_Well, if he wants a puzzle, I can get him a rubik's cube; he's not going to be able to solve me._

I ignore his stares, but it's much harder to concentrate with him staring at me.

Finally, I look up, adopting the air of a bored socialite.

"Is there something you want?" I ask. "Because I'm at a rather good part, and it's hard to concentrate with you reading over my shoulder."

Pan gives me a look of mock-surprise.

"I'm hurt, Vin," he replies, touching his heart as if I really hurt him. "I only wanted to give my congratulations."

I raise a questioning eyebrow, but say nothing. I don't answer to Vin.

"You won this round," he explains. "You proved you have a stubborn, defiant streak in you. You let me teach you how to use your powers as a Dreamer, but you did it on your own terms. Nicely played."

_Wait, is he…Is he _complimenting _me? _

I know he's probably only doing it to pull me into an argument, but I can't resist.

"How did those words taste coming out of your mouth?" I ask, my voice filled with disbelief.

"Like vinegar," he replies, a hint of bitterness exposed in his voice.

He hates that I won this round. Felix claimed that Peter Pan never fails, but he's still failing with me.

"But you didn't let me finish, Vin," he continues.

"Uh-huh, sure," I say sarcastically, opening my book.

If he keeps calling me Vin, then he shouldn't expect me to be part of this conversation.

"It's that stubborn streak that is going to make you so fun to break," he explains. "It's always the spirited ones who break the best."

I give a snort of derision, and look up from my book.

"I think we've seen just how successful your 'breaking me' has been," I reply. "And seriously, 'breaking me?' Doesn't that seem a little-I don't know-over dramatic? I mean, I know you think yourself the manipulative demon in stories, but don't you think that's over the top?"

Pan lets out a small chuckle that tells me that he doesn't think so at all.

"Okay, fine," I say, shrugging. "You want to go for the tacky drama queen angle, your choice."

I can tell by the look on his face that this isn't how the conversation was supposed to go.

I smirk, and get back to my reading.

"Jess?"

I look up at the cautious voice that I recognize as Toodles'.

I smile, and mark my page.

Toodles is standing in front of me, with a small group of the younger boys. A chubby kid, who looks to be about eight years old, a lanky boy with mischievous eyes, probably no older than ten, and a set of twins.

Toodles glances swiftly at Pan, a hint of fear in his eyes. Pan simply smirks, and I shoot him a look of disgust. He enjoys inspiring fear in these kids. Kids he kidnapped because their loved ones were not strong enough for Pan.

"Yes, Toodles?" I ask, turning back to him.

He shifts shyly from one foot to another, and seems to be finding the courage to say something. He probably doesn't want to ask in front of Pan.

I smile encouragingly, and look at the group standing around him.

"Who're these?" I ask, gesturing to the group.

"Um," he replies, glancing behind him. "This is Nibs, Slightly, and the Twins."

He gestures to the chubby boy, the lanky boy, and twins in that order.

I nod to them, and hold out my hand to shake. They just look at it, confused.

_I guess Pan only introduces with one of his "welcome-our-new-sibling/captive" speech. _

"Nice to meet you," I try instead, smiling to show that I'm not going to eat them. The way one of the Twins is looking me, you'd think I am.

"What did you want to say, Toodles?" I ask.

"Can...Can you…"

He squirms, and looks at Pan, fearfully.

"Careful, Toodles," says Pan cheerfully. "We don't want to encourage Vin to misbehave, now do we?"

I hear the veiled threat under his voice, and bite back a retort.

Toodles, however, looks even more nervous at Pan's threat.

"It's alright, Toodles," I reassure him. "I'm sure whatever you ask won't be bad."

Toodles, glances from Pan, to me, then back at Pan.

"Canyoureadtous?" he asks all at once.

Pan snorts at this, and I turn and smack him on the arm. The gesture is natural enough that he ignores it.

"I didn't catch that, Toodles," I say, turning back towards the boys.

"He asked if you can read to us," explains Slightly, looking a little annoyed.

I look at Toodles, who nods in confirmation.

"Of course,"I reply, shifting my stack of books away, and gesturing for them to sit down.

They sit around me, and watch me with curious eyes.

"What would you like me to read?" I ask.

"Read the book you imagined," Nibs suggests.

At the same time, Slightly speaks up, "Read a story about white rats!"

I can't help but grin at Slightly's strange request, and hold up my hands as the other three start to babble suggestions. Pan shifts, watching with vague interest.

"Alright, alright!" I say over their voices. "How about I read you boys the story of _The Princess Bride_, and we'll see how you like that one."

"But that sounds like a girl's story," sneers Slightly.

"Not really," I reply. "There are some kissing parts, I guess, but its more about sword fights, revenge, and monsters than it is about romance."

I haven't read the book in a while, but I honestly think the boys will enjoy it, so long as I take out the cursing.

_Then again, maybe I'll keep that in, just to annoy Pan._

The boys seem to be alright with my suggestion, so I imagine a copy of the book.

I start to read, starting with how the most beautiful women in the world lost their looks to sweets, disease, and wrinkles.

I have a feeling that the boys will get bored with the romantic parts pretty fast, so I only touch on the romantic parts, making sure to get the important information in.

In no time, Buttercup is kidnapped, and the story starts to get interesting.

As I start to read about the part about climbing the cliffs, the group grows, some of the older boys putting down their weapons to listen.

By the time I've gotten to the sword fight between Inigo Montoya and the Man in Black, the most of the boys are listening.

Even Felix stops to listen as I go on to the part about battle of wits between Vizzini and the Man in Black, and Pan cracks a smirk at Vizzini's fate.

Several times I consider taking a break, but I don't.

The boys become invested in the story, about the R.O.U.S.'s, the six-fingered man, and Miracle Max. They hush Nibs at the scene of Westley's torture for sneezing, and laugh at the appearance of Max's wife, Valerie.

Most are sitting on their ankles, hanging on my every word at the final duel between Inigo Montoya and Count Rugen, and Westley's description of "to-the-pain" I'm pretty sure Pan enjoys the description too much.

Finally, hours later, I finish the story, and close the book. I'm exhausted, and it hurts to talk too much.

But the boys are all fine. I wonder how long it is until morning, when I remember what Bae told me about Pan controlling time.

_Doesn't matter, I'm still going to sleep when I find the right place to lay down. Preferably more than thirty-nine and half feet away from Pan. _

"Buttercup was pretty dumb," remarks Slightly, as he gets up.

I shrug.

"It's more about the boys than it is about Buttercup," I reply. "I think the point of her is that no matter how much she tries, she can never forget the one she loved."

At this, Pan stirs a little, and I get the feeling that I know why. Because I just told him that I can never forget the ones I loved. Like the one I exchanged my own freedom for.

_And I won't. I have the books to remind me who I'm fighting for._

"So, did you boys like the book?" I ask, standing up and stretching.

There are eager nods, and cheers in reply.

And requests that I read another.

I shake my head; my voice hurts too much for another. Besides, I'm too tired to read another, as I explain this to the boys.

"Fine, but you have to read to us later," says Nibs with a sense of finality in his voice.

I bite my lip at this.

_Hopefully, with a little luck, I'll be back home by that time. _

"We'll see," I reply, avoiding giving a definite answer.

The thing is, I enjoyed reading to them. It was like reading to Abby. But it just feels like I shouldn't like it. Like I'm betraying my sister by reading to these boys.

"Well," I say, stretching. "Its been fun, but I'm tired, guys. I'm going to lay down for a while."

_A long while._

I don't think that I can stand another night with the crying children. But I don't want to exactly leave them, either.

Actually, right now, there is no crying. Probably because they are all gathered around me, listening to my book.

But if I go to sleep, they probably will to. And the crying will start.

Out of indecision, I simply start to walk towards the foliage. It's probably quieter there, anyway.

"Oh, Vin, do you think that it's that easy to leave camp like that?"

Pan's taunting voice makes me stop.

I turn, feeling a little rebellious.

_I. Want. To. Sleep._

"No," I reply testily. "I'm going to where it's quieter, so I can sleep without being woken up by your boy band's games."

Pan grins, and I can tell he's onto something.

"So, you are staying?" he asks.

_Oh. Shoot._

I just admitted that I'm not trying to run. This means, in his eyes, I'm getting more comfortable. That I'm less willing to get away.

"Don't let it go to your head," I reply, crossing my arms. All exhaustion has left me, and I'm pretty sure he sees that.

"It's just easier for me to slip away in the morning. Nice job at wearing me out, by the way."

_There, let him think I'm planning to escape in the morning (if he lets it become morning) and that I'm tired. I'll probably run away in as soon as I'm alone, now._

"But, Vin," he points out, a malicious gleam in his eyes. "The younger boys need their sister to make sure they're alright tonight. You don't want them crying, do you?"

I look over at the younger boys. Toodles, the Twins, Nibs, even Slightly (who is kind of conceited), are all looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Yes," said Pan, looking at me. "They need you to take care of them, Vin, like a good big sister."

I feel my stomach plunge.

_That's his play. That's what he wants me to do. _

He knows that I instinctively take care of others. I took care of Abby when Mom needed my help, and exchanged places with my little sister when she needed me. I comforted Toodles when he needed a friend, and without hesitation, I ran out of the cave to save Bae.

That's what he wants. He wants me to take care of the boys, as a friend and sister. That way, when I do, it will be harder for me to run. When I grow closer to them, I won't be able to escape without the guilt of knowing that I'm leaving the boys who need me behind. And then, my heart won't be in it. I may try to escape, but I won't really be trying. Because I won't be able to leave to boys who I will have grown to love.

It's like a sucker punch. Pan is using one of the things I do naturally as a weapon, so that I can allow myself to become a prisoner.

This is far too below the belt to ignore.

"Screw you!" I shout, grabbing a nearby knife, and throwing it at him.

To my surprise, he has to duck at the last second, leaving the knife stuck in the tree, too close to his face for him to pretend that he was expecting that.

Eyes are glued to the knife, and to me and Pan.

Pan looks back at me, and grins.

"Nice, Vin," he says. "I'll have to train you how to throw properly. You may have potential in knife throwing."

_I don't have time for his banter, or his taunts. _

"Leave me alone, Pan," I snarl.

"What?" he asks. "What do you think I'm doing?"

He walks up to me, and I imagine a gleaming knife in my hands.

_If he tries anything, I swear I will stab him so deeply he'll be dead in seconds._

"I'm offering you a family, Vin," he says, gesturing to the Lost Boys. "A place where you can be accepted. Isn't that what you want?"

"No," I reply, my voice dripping. "I don't want that. I have acceptance, back home. I don't want a family. I have one, back home. I don't want to be the "greatest Lost One" or the 'most powerful Dreamer.' I don't want any of that."

"What do you want, then?" asks Pan, coming closer. I hold up the knife, letting him know exactly what will happen if he comes any closer.

"I want to go back home," I reply. "I believe I've expressed this enough, but you seem to be forgetting it."

I feel a twinge of pride that my tone is more frustrated than vulnerable. It makes me seem stronger than I really am. Pan snorts at my reply.

"Back home?" he repeats. "Back to a life where you go to school, learning countless, meaningless lessons, never having a life with your friends because you're taking care of Abby every night."

_No, he does not get to say her name. He does not have the _right _to say it. _

"At least I'm happy there," I reply, in all honesty.

_As much as I've dreamed of adventure, I'll take my old life over this one any day._

"You could be happy here," Pan points out. "If you'd give it a chance."

I cock my head.

_The good-cop-bad-cop routine isn't working out for him, especially since he's the only one doing it._

"No," I reply. "Because I'm not going to take that chance. I made a promise, and I'm going to keep it."

"And if I stop you?" asks Pan.

In answer, I hurl the knife at him. I know he probably goaded me into saying that, but it doesn't matter.

I barely miss, but this time, he doesn't so much as flinch.

"You won't," I reply. "Weren't you paying attention to the book? Love always wins. And you are, if anything, incapable of love."

With that, I turn on my heel, and head into the foliage.

I think I have about ten seconds before they realize that I may be running.

I'm not. I'm through with running.

I'm escaping.

_Okay,_ I tell myself, _calm down and think._

_Right now, I'm practically letting steam come out of my ears, and that isn't good. I need to be calm. If I'm angry, my emotions will blind me, and I will just end up with the Lost Boys again._

I confine myself to walking, not running. Surprisingly, none of the boys have followed me.

_Strange._

I exhale, trying to get a grip on the situation.

What Pan is doing is unforgivable, so there is no way that I'm going back. But I also don't have anywhere to go. I can only walk, and try to figure out what to do.

I hear footsteps nearby, but I continue to walk. They're too far off, and if the Lost Boys want to deal with a temperamental teenage girl, then they better batten down the hatches.

Still, for security's sake, I close my eyes, and imagine another knife. However, as soon as I have it in my hand, I drop it.

_I can't find security in weapons. That's what Pan is trying to get me to do. I won't cave in to even the simplest things he does to my emotions. I need to be stronger than that._

The footsteps are closer, and I see a lantern light, not that far away. I consider just walking away, but my emotions get ahead of me.

_Can't Pan, for once, give me some privacy?!_

"Go away!" I shout. "Leave me alone!"

_Yeah, I really succeeded in getting my emotions down. Way to go, Jess._

_"Lass?"_

I stop at the familiar voice.

Pan can imitate voices; his little game in the dark taught me that. But if it isn't…

Hesitantly, I step towards the lantern light. It isn't Pan.

"Hook?" I ask, stepping into the light.

The pirate, holding a lantern by his hook, sees me. Relief crosses his face, and he smiles.

"I thought you were dead, lass," he says. "When you jumped, Pan looked so panicked-.'

He cuts off, finally getting a good look at me. I stop myself, thinking how I must look. I've been in water twice, running through the woods countless times, in Bae's caves, had my wrists bruised by Pan, and have only gotten a few hours of sleep at different times. I must look like a mess to him.

_Heck, I _am_ a mess._

"Lass?" he asks, uncertainly.

That's when I hear it. The sound I heard all last night. The children, crying. Because I'm the only one who cares enough to do anything about it. And I'm not doing anything.

All the pressure that has been building on me, all the haywire emotions that have been going through me finally take their toll.

Looking down at the ground, I start crying.

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**A/N: **Poor Jess. One minute, she thinks she's winning; the next, she's hurt and upset (sigh).

Sorry this chapter is late. Independence Day weekend has kept me busy, tired, and separate from my laptop. Oh, well. Thank you **scorpiongirl92** for putting this story on alert, and **meguhanu, quiet101,** and **scorpiongirl92** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **meguhanu, Female whovian, scorpiongirl92,** and **Guest** for your reviews. And, of course, thank you **Uncommon Fairy** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** for being my betas. Y'all are amazing!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever you guys want. Free nerd points to anyone who can fit a Princess Bride quote in a review! **:)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: If you don't know what goes here, _I'm_ not telling you.**

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All the pressure that has been building on me, all the haywire emotions that have been going through me finally take their toll.

Looking down at the ground, I start crying.

I cry because Pan has pulled such a low blow, using my nature against me. Because I'm miserable here, and I swore that I would escape, but I have no idea how. Because I'm cold, and dirty, and tired, and I don't know when I'm going to get out of this place. Because I'm relieved to find a friendly face. Because part of me wishes I could be comforting those kids, but I can't, because they will tear me away from home.

Hook lowers his lantern, and walks over to me, concern taking place of the relief that had been on his face.

"Hey, it's alright," he murmurs consolingly to me. He hesitates, and after a moment, wraps a comforting arm around me.

I'm really glad that I decided trust him, or else I would feel awkward about burying my face into his coat, and sobbing into him.

For his part, Hook doesn't pull away or makes the situation more tense. He just rubs his hand around me soothingly, and softly tell me that I'm alright. I don't know how long I cry, but I just know that its enough to take away the things I've bottled up.

When I finally calm down a little, I pull myself out, and look up, wiping my eyes.

Hook surveys me up and down, his eyes lingering on my bruised wrist.

"What happened, lass?" he asks, taking in my appearance.

I wipe my nose, and exhale.

_I've had my cry; I've got my emotions under control, somewhat. Now, I have to stay calm. Crying won't get me out. _

Hook gestures for me to walk with him. I start to explain everything that happened after I jumped off the cliff.

I keep Bae out of it, instead saying that I was able to find a cave nearby. I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling that Bae may want to meet Hook on his own before he trusts him.

I have trouble remaining calm as I explain Pan's ploy with the younger boys, but I'm able to control it. Just barely, though.

"...So I left camp," I finish. "I'm trying to find someway to escape, but I'm just so tired…"

I trail off, letting Hook figure out the rest. We keep walking in silence for a few minutes before Hook speaks up.

"You're going to have a mite trouble escaping, lass."

I stop, and look at him, ready to put up a fight. If he has a despairing speech about escape, I'm not in the mood. If it's something that makes Pan seem more powerful, I'm going to hit him.

"I've been on this island for years," he explain. "Me crew and I have searched for a way to leave. We haven't found anything, after years of looking."

I roll my eyes, and start to stalk forward. If he wants to talk about how it is impossible to escape Neverland, then he's just wasting my time.

_Well, actually, I have plenty of time, but my family doesn't._

"I'm not doubting your resolve, lass," Hook insists, as he hurries to catch up. "I'm just saying that you are going to have some trouble. Especially if Pan wants you to stay. He's going to fight for you to remain in Neverland."

"I don't care," I reply, turning to face him. "I need to get back to my family. If Pan wants to keep me here, he's going to have to throw everything he's got at me. I _am_ going to leave Neverland."

I continue to walk, but don't stalk away. Letting my emotions control me takes me away from my goal.

Finally, Hook walks next to me, but he doesn't say anything. Surprisingly, I'm okay with us just walking. It's nice to have the company.

After a few minutes, we come to a stream. I can't help but smile a bit in recognition. It's the same one Pan pushed me in when I first came. It means I'm in familiar territory.

"So, where's the rest of your crew?" I ask, as we walk along the side.

"Back on me ship," he replies. "The Jolly Roger."

I nod, but something strikes me as odd. I can't quite place my finger on it. I glance at my dim reflection in the water, and stop for a moment to get a better look. I look worse than I thought.

I'm pretty much smudged anywhere that isn't covered, and I'm only in my jeans and tank top, which have holes in different places. My hair is a matted mess, and I probably have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. Not to mention that they are probably still red from my breakdown.

Hook catches what I'm looking at, and smiles sympathetically.

"I didn't want to say anything," he says, shrugging. "I know how girls hate to be told that they don't look good. You're pretty enough anyway, there didn't seem to be a point."

I roll my eyes at the flattery, but smile a little.

_Still though, I can stand to be cleaned up a little. Okay, fine, a lot._

Closing my eyes, I imagine a brush, just like my brush back home.

I hear Hook's gasp, and open my eyes, my brush in my hand.

I tug at my hair, trying to pull out the band that is holding it up. It must be really tangled in there, because after a few minutes of tugging, I only manage to nearly dislocate my shoulder.

"Here," says Hook, chuckling. "Let me try."

I turn around, and let him struggle for a little.

_It's strange how I'm trusting him this much. I'm not sure why. I know he was genuinely reluctant to hand me over to Pan, and that he promised he wouldn't hurt me. But that makes us-what-allies? At the most? _

"It's in there good," he says, after his turn of fruitless tugging. "You may have to cut it out, lass."

I reach up to my hair, trying to think of a solution besides that. I'm not in the mood for losing my hair.

I glance at the brush I was holding.

_Pan said that all you have to do in Neverland is think of something to have it. What if you think of something that's already there, just in a different place?_

I close my eyes, and imagine my rubber band disappearing from my hair, and reappearing on my wrist. I can feel its weak hold on my rat's nest hair fade, and I feel it appearing, ever so tightly on my wrist.

Opening my eyes, I see it there. I start to grin a little, and I part my hair, letting the brush do its work.

Hook sees what I've done, and arches an eyebrow.

"That's impressive, lass," he notes, as he and I continue to walk.

"Can't you do it?" I ask, as I brush out the first of lots of tangles.

Hook shakes his head.

"Trust me," he says. "If I did, me crew would have all the rum in the world, and we'd be eating like kings every night."

_I guess he's not a Dreamer. But, then again, Pan said everyone can do it in Neverland._

"All you have to do is think of something, and believe that the magic will get it for you," I explain.

"Aye, for children maybe," says Hook nodding. "But not for adults."

"Oh, so I'm a child now?" I ask playfully, knowing he didn't mean it like that.

"Just barely," replies Hook.

He pulls out his sword, and uses it to cut through the thick foliage in front of us. It's easier to walk through without it blocking your path.

_Or without a string of Lost Boys on your tail, for that matter. _

"So, where exactly are we headed?" I ask, following him as he cuts a particularly thick branch out of the way.

"Back to the Roger," he replies. "Unless you'd rather stay on the island."

I pause, thinking it over.

I would rather be on Hook's ship, but I don't want Pan taking his anger out on Hook when he finds that Hook has given me refuge. I also don't really want Mr. Smee insisting that they should hand me over.

That's when I realize what had struck me as odd earlier.

"Why are you alone?" I ask.

Hook hesitates for a second, but I catch it.

"If you've been on Neverland as long as you say you have," I press. "then you know it's probably smart to never be alone. Heck, I realized that when I first arrived. Why didn't you bring someone with you?"

Hook sighs and turns to face me. There's a hint of guilt on his face, and for the first time since I met him, I have to steel myself for what he is about to say.

_Has he betrayed the trust that I've given him?_

"Sometimes, Pan will call me to the island," he explains. "Sometimes, he will ask me to do something, in exchange for letting me and me crew roam the island. Tonight, well…"

He trails off, just as I did a while ago.

"He asked you to help him break me, didn't he?" I guess, reading between the lines.

_Why else would he be so relieved to see me, and so willing to comfort me when he saw I was hurt? _

I take his silence as a 'yes'.

"He told you to betray me," I continue. "And you didn't say no."

Hook looks away, and softly mutters, "I didn't say yes either."

To my surprise, I'm alright with it. He didn't agree immediately.

_He is considering saying no, which means he was willing to put his crew's lives at risk for me. I actually feel touched by this, not betrayed._

"Well," I say. "So long as it's not too bad."

Hook gives me a look of surprise.

"I don't understand, lass," he says, cutting the branch in front of us.

I shrug, feeling surprisingly light. My hair feels like it's got all the knots out, so I tie it back up.

"You didn't say yes immediately, which means that you don't want to betray me," I explain. "But, I don't want you to have your crew killed, either. So, yes, you can betray me, but seeing as I know, that kind of takes the blow away, which puts Pan a step behind us."

"Us?" repeats Hook, cocking an eyebrow.

Instead of replying to this, I give him an incredulous look. If I don't say something now, this will be bothering me forever.

"Okay, seriously," I say, pausing. "What is with it with the guys on Neverland and their eyebrows? Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on what you or Pan are saying while watching those things go up and down?"

The look on Hook's face is priceless. I wish I had a camera. Unable to resist, I start to laugh. After getting over his shock, Hook starts laughing as well.

It feels good, being able to laugh. And it must feel good to Hook as well, because as soon as he stops, he hears me laughing a little, and picks up where he left off. This causes me to laugh more also.

Finally, I'm wiping away tears from my eyes, and Hook has to use his hook on my shoulder to support himself.

"Oh, I needed that, lass," he says, when we are finally able to stop. "Thank you."

"I needed it just as much as you did," I reply, smiling. "Real laughter seems like a rare thing in Neverland."

He finally cuts the branch, and the foliage seems to be thinning.

In the back of mind, I sense something. I'm not sure what...but something.

As I take a step, I feel it more. Curious, I go forward through the foliage, the sense growing stronger with every step.

It's not the twisted feeling I get when I'm near Pan.

_It's good. Strong. Beautiful. Magical. _

I walk into a clearing, the sense practically radiating through me. I see a couple of tree stumps, that look like they have been cut down, rather badly at that.

Another tree still seems to be growing. Somehow, I know that whatever it is I'm sensing is at the top.

"Lass?" I hear Hook call.

I don't answer.

Instead, I walk to the tree, and hesitantly grab the first branch.

_Yes, the sense is stronger. It's definitely in this tree. _

I hoist myself up, and start to climb. I climbed a lot when I was little, so it isn't unfamiliar. The tree also has a lot of branches that make excellent handholds and footholds.

"Lass, what are you doing?" asks Hook, from down below.

"Don't you sense it?" I reply, continuing to climb.

"Sense what?" he asks.

_I guess he doesn't, then. _

"The magic," I answer. "It's really close. Don't you feel it?"

"No," replies Hook flatly. "Now come down before you break your neck."

_Aw, he's worried._

I feel something creep around my leg, twisting around my ankle. I look down, and see a rather creepy looking vine, winding its way around my calf.

"Bugger off," I tell it, kicking at it.

"What?" calls Hook.

"Nothing!" I reply, as the vine shies away.

_Good, I don't want to be distracted_.

I continue to climb, when I see it. Just an arm's length away is a blossom, open in the starlight.

It almost seems to be taking it in, giving it life. Like a night-time photosynthesis. Something inside the flower seems to be sparkling. Pollen, perhaps?

I reach out, and pinch some out of the flower.

As soon my fingers come in contact with the dust, I feel my foot slip on a patch of moss.

I reach for a handhold to steady myself, but find none. For a split second, I totter dangerously on the branch, and in another, I slip.

A shriek escapes me, and I hear Hook cry out something, as I fall. I think my life may flash before my eyes, but I can't tell, since they're closed.

_But, am I falling? _

I can feel the wind whipping around me, but I can't feel gravity working on me.

Hesitantly, I crack open an eye.

I'm not falling at all. If anything, I'm farther up than where I was when I slipped. I look down, to see Hook staring up at me. A green glow surrounds me, and my feet are kicking the empty air.

I'm not falling; I'm flying.

I'm not sure how I should react to this. I figured one could fly on Neverland. That's one of the biggest points of the story, after all. But the story also said that the dust that made you fly was from fairies, and you needed faith and trust.

_Then again, Pan is a decent person in the story, so I shouldn't expect the details to be correct._

I'm also pretty glad that I'm not falling to my death. That would be kind of nasty. On the other hand, I have absolutely no idea how to do more than hover, and I'm not sure how to do even that. And I have no idea how to land.

_Still, I'm actually flying. And, to be honest with myself, it feels pretty darn awesome._

So, I react as anyone would naturally react.

I throw back my head, let out a whoop of joy, followed by a round of necessary laughter.

Right, now that I've got that out of the way, how the heck do I get down?

Slowly, I find myself going down feet first.

_Okay, so I thought that I wanted to go down, and I went down. Lets try getting a hang of this so I'll know for next time._

_I want to go up._

Responding to my thoughts, I fly upwards, past where I was when I opened my eyes.

I can't help but grin, as I start learning how to slow down, to go left and right, to go faster…

"Are you done yet?"

I look down at Hook, who looks bored, but is watching me with warily. He's probably still concerned that I'm going to break my neck.

_Yeah, I kind of forgot about him while learning how to fly._

"You've got to try this!" I say in reply, as I allow myself to fly to another tree.

I catch a branch, and use it to propel myself upwards, like one might do with a swimming pool wall.

"Can't," Hook calls up. "Grown-up, remember? Now, are you coming down, or not?"

"Where's your ship?" I ask.

"About half a mile east of here," he answers. "Why?"

"Race you,"I challenge.

"This isn't a game, lass," he replies sharply.

I bite my lip when I realize he's right. This isn't a game. I'm flying like a flag up here, probably in sight of Pan and all the Lost Boys. I could be leading them straight to me and Hook.

Feeling slightly embarrassed for letting myself get carried away, I think how I want to land. Lightly.

In a couple of seconds, I'm on the ground, and the green glow fades. My skin now has what looks like glitter all over the place, but other than that, there's no sign of my flight.

"So, that was pixie dust?" I ask, brushing the sparkling dust off my arms.

"Aye," replies Hook.

I nod, but try to familiarize myself with the sense that the dust gave me. I have a feeling that I will need it later, and if I know the feeling, it'll be that much easier to find.

"Let's keep moving," Hook says, holding his lantern back up. "Preferably without climbing any trees this time."

"Only if I can't sense any magic around," I reply, half-joking.

If we do come across something that I sense has a good magic, then I'm going to try to find it.

Partly because I may be able to use it to escape, and partly out of curiosity. I certainly never sensed magic back home, which means that either there's no magic, or I can only sense magic in Neverland.

Either way, I'm curious to try out this new ability.

"I'm serious, lass," says Hook, as we continue walking. "If you hadn't touched that dust, you would've killed yourself."

_Technically, if I hadn't reached for the dust at all, I wouldn't have fallen, but I'm not going to bring that up. I'm not in the mood for a lecture. _

"Why are you so worried?" I ask instead. "I mean, you only met me less than twenty-four hours ago. It's not like you owe me anything."

"It would be bad form to leave a girl like you in Pan's grasp," replies Hook, shrugging.

_No, there's more to it than that. He's acting too casual. And just because it would be bad form doesn't mean he had to do it. _

"You still don't have to take me back to your ship," I point out. "If you just wanted to avoid bad form, then you could have always just have made sure I was alright, and moved on. But, you are obviously concerned about me, because you're taking me to your ship, at the potential risk of angering Pan. Why?"

Hook lets out an exasperated sigh, that tells me that he really wishes that I couldn't use logic that quickly.

_Hey, Pan said that Dreamers have logical trains of thought, and that I'm a powerful one. So, logically, that means I'm going to put things like Hook's concern over me together quickly. _

I decide it would be best not to push it by asking why again, but wait for him to answer.

"Like I said," he says, after a few minutes. "it would be bad form."

_Okay, I guess that he's not in the mood to tell me. _

Normally, I'd try pushing it, but seeing as Hook is my only ally right now, and he does seem genuinely concerned. So, I'm alright if he keeps his secret.

Besides, Pan could have ears all over the island. If it's important, best to keep it hidden. The less he knows about you, the less he can use against you.

We walk on in silence, until we come to a beach. A rowboat sits tied to the shore, and I can see Hook's ship not that far off.

"All aboard, miss," Hook says drily, as we climb in.

I take a seat in the back, as he unties the knot. I take a look at the boat.

It seems perfectly normal. Like any old rowboat you see in the movies. Something still seems odd about it.

As Hook pushes off, climbs in, and sits down, I realize what it is.

"Hook?" I ask. "How did you row over here with one hand?"

Hook doesn't reply. Instead, he turns his hook at an angle so that it holds on to one oar the same way his hand does. I cock my head, as he starts to row. He can turn his hook, apparently. Cool.

I wonder briefly how he got the hook. I mean, in the story, it got cut off by Pan, and tossed to a crocodile.

Obviously, though, the story is a lot different from the real thing. And even that part of the story seemed a little far-fetched.

_Then again, should I ask? I have kind of badgered him a lot…_

I sigh, as I suddenly hear what I've tried to block out all night. I can hear the children crying. Because I'm not there to help.

_Think about Abby,_ I tell myself. _She's probably crying now, because she knows you're trapped here. _

"What was that?" asks Hook, breaking the silence.

I look up, and realize I spoke out loud.

"Nothing," I reply.

Hook seems unfazed by the crying. I wonder if it has anything to do with how long he has been here. _Well, whatever he's doing, I hope he can teach me. Because I won't be able to stand night after night listening to the crying._

"Hook," I say. "How do you ignore the crying?"

"The what?" he replies.

"The crying," I repeat. "On the island."

Hook just turns to me and gives me an uneasy look.

"You can't hear it, can you?" I guess, heart sinking.

_I guess this is going to be one battle I have to fight on my own then. _

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he agrees, turning back to rowing.

I look back on the island.

"Some of the Lost Boys miss their families," I explain, thinking about the younger ones who wanted me to read to them. "When they go to bed, they start crying. I've been able to hear it since the shadow brought me."

_Hook probably thinks I'm insane. Maybe I am. Maybe these cries I've been hearing have just been in my head_.

Then again, I wouldn't know that any were crying when I first came. And I've been in that room, where all the children cry. So I know that they do cry.

_But, how can I hear it from here?_

I shake my head, unable to find an answer. Turning, I see we're pretty close to the ship.

"Well," says Hook, seeing where I'm looking. "There she is. The Jolly Roger."

I smile, noting the loving tone in his voice. This ship is pretty much his home, and he's proud of it.

"Oi!" calls Hook, "Where is my warm welcome? Am I going to have to tow our lovely guest up here myself, or are you going to make a good impression on her?"

There's a sound of scuffling, as Hook rows beside the boat. A rope ladder appears over the side, and Hook chuckles.

"After you, lass," he says, gesturing to the ladder.

"Are you going to keep your eyes where they belong?" I ask, playfully.

"A gentleman like me? Of course," replies Hook, spreading his hand and hook up innocently.

I smile, and start to climb up. A couple of ropes fall beside me, and Hook starts to tie the ends of the boat up. Probably to lift the boat back up onto the ship.

I'm midway up, when I stop.

I feel it again. That dark, twisted feeling that I always get around Pan.

_He's here. Or his shadow is. _

I freeze, trying to figure out what to do. He's here, and is probably going to wait to capture me again. I'm a little sick of this whole ring-around-the-rosy thing we have going on. I run, he finds me, captures me, I run again.

_However, he doesn't know that I'm aware of his presence. I can take him by surprise. _

_And if not…_

I look around at the ocean. There's no way I can make the swim back to shore. If I go aboard, Pan will have to leave. The trouble is getting him to leave without me.

"Lass?" asks Hook, noticing that I've stopped my climb. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I reply, lying through my teeth.

I really, really hate Pan right now. He always has to take me when things are at least feeling alright.

_Which is what he's trying to do,_ I realize. _He's trying to show me there's no security, except with him. _

_Like that'll ever happen._

I continue climbing, but imagine a knife as I do. He can try to take me.

Just let him try. I'm sick of this game, and I want to rest. If I have to fight him to get that respite, so be it.

I climb up, and hoist myself up on the deck.

I immediately look around, but I only see the same group of men that were there when I first met Hook. I see Smee, who is staring at me, and looking like he's seen the Ghost of Christmas Past. The sight is sort of ridiculous, and I can't help but smile at his squirming.

_The captain let me on the ship. He's going to have deal with it._

I don't see Pan or the shadow anywhere, though. But one of them is here; I can sense it.

Hook climbs aboard, as two of the crew members pull the raft back onto the ship.

"Well?" he asks, gesturing at the ship we stand on. "What do you think?"

I stop to actually look around.

The ship seems like any ship I've seen in the movies, but there is something else about it. There's something about it that feels like home. It's like going to a friend's house for a sleepover. It's not home, but it has a feeling that tells you that it is the home of someone else. And that makes it better.

"It's...wonderful," I say, taking in the feeling.

It's all the home I've got right now until I escape Neverland, so it feels great.

I still look around warily, waiting for Pan to jump out at me. Nothing.

"Let me show you around," says Hook, leading the way.

He starts a full tour, starting with some of the deck. We circle down to the lower levels, and then go back up, where he shows me the Crow's Nest, and the helm.

The wheel marks me as strange, not because it's the steering, but because of the wood beside it.

Carved into the wood is an arrow, in a circle, pointing north. An S and P label the left and right side. Starboard and Port. What's really strange about this carving, though, is that its been scratched out by something.

My fingers trace the jagged line, and I turn to Hook for an explanation. He simply shrugs and says it's always been like that.

Again, I can tell that he's lying.

I still can sense Pan, but I can sense him getting farther away. Maybe he's going back to the island.

Well, as long as its away from me, I can live with that.

As I open my mouth to explain this to Hook, Smee appears beside us.

"Er, Captain," he says, giving us a nervous glance. "A word?"

Hook looks from Smee to me, and I can tell he's put together what I have. Smee's probably worried that Pan is going to come and set a crocodile on the entire crew for giving me shelter.

"In a moment, Mr. Smee," replies Hook, turning to me.

"Tired?" he asks, catching my yawn.

I nod, not bothering to explain. It's been a long day. Being kidnapped, throwing poison at said kidnapper, meeting pirates, almost being drowned by mermaids, discovering magical powers, almost falling to my death and flying.

Yep; long, full day.

Hook gestures for me to follow, and leads me to one of the rooms we passed. He simply called them "quarters" but they look like they could be his. I'm kind of touched that he would let me use them.

"Thanks," I say, turning to him.

Not just for letting me use his room, but for everything. Giving me sanctuary from Pan, allowing me to stay at the risk of his men…

Hook just nods in acknowledgement.

"Well, someone has to be a gentleman on this cursed island," he replies.

I smile, but am only vaguely aware of what is happening as I bid him goodnight, and he promises to wake me if something is wrong. I just lay down, and close my eyes.

I'm so tired, I drift off instantly.

* * *

**A/N**: Well, at least Jess is feeling better.

Thank you **MarishkaTheUnderdog **and **dream lighting **for putting this story on alert, and to **dream lighting **and **savystories **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **FurySaidtoaMouse, meguhanu, Female whovian, storybrookering, Dreamer-Girl96, **and **Uncommon fairy **for your awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my amazing betas, **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **and **Uncommon fairy. **Kudos to **Female whovian, Dreamer-Girl96, **and **Uncommon fairy** for incorporating Princess Bride quotes into their reviews. Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons, compared to y'all!

Also, a very happy birthday to my beta, **Uncommon fairy**! I couldn't have written this fic without you!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want to do! Opinions of Jess and Hook's relationship are greatly appreciated! **:) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I still don't own OUAT. **

* * *

"Captain, _he_ was here," Smee said, as soon as Killian left the room.

Killian only paused for a moment, knowing exactly who "he" was.

"What did he say?" he asked, involuntarily looking back at his own quarters, where Jess lay, asleep.

"He said that the girl belonged to him, and that he wouldn't tolerate thieves in Neverland," Smee replied, also looking back at the quarters.

Killian immediately saw what his first mate was getting at.

He hadn't liked Bae's presence, either, because he was sure Pan would rip the entire crew's shadows off. He probably thought the same about Jess's presence on The Roger.

"Anything else?" he asked.

If Pan didn't give any outright threats, he could always argue that Pan didn't specifically say that he and his crew were thieves. Once or twice he was able to worm his way out of Pan's anger by playing on Pan's words. Pan, always appreciating a good game, would allow Killian to walk away.

"He said that betraying the girl will get you a reward," Smee explained. "And that if you try to keep her from him, he will have to take a crew member in turn."

There was that threat Killian had hoped to avoid. And it hit him where it hurt. His crew.

Since Liam's death on the island, Killian's crew had become his family. He had vowed never to return to Neverland, especially after hearing that the strange boy he and his brother had met was the infamous Pied Piper, who lured children away from their families to live on Neverland with him. After revealing this to the crew, all agreed again that none should ever set foot on Neverland's shores.

Then Milah was murdered.

Agony was not even close to what Killian had felt, when he saw the Dark One crush her heart without remorse. Killian was sure that he was going to die with Milah, as he watched the heart which he had loved for years, become ash in the crocodile's hand.

Her death had taken a toll on everyone. Milah was family to the crew, just as much as Killian. They all wanted to see the Dark One's corpse at their feet. He had heard the mutterings of crew members after her burial at sea, of deaths good enough for the crocodile. None had seemed good enough to Killian.

He knew only three things: the Dark One was immortal, he didn't know how to kill the Dark One, there was someone who may know how. If anyone knew how to kill the Dark One, it was the boy from Neverland.

So, he returned, but promising to himself that he would watch over the rest of his family in Neverland. He didn't know just how much danger he had put them in by returning to Neverland. And how much Pan would insist that they could not leave without his permission.

He lost several men-friends-to Pan, until he handed Bae over to him.

He had hoped, now armed with the knowledge of how to kill the Dark One, that he and the rest of his men would be able to leave Neverland. But every time they tried, Pan would kill more and more men. There were only seven members left, including himself and Smee. The dead's blood was on his hands.

Then he met the girl today. He had realized instantly that she was harmless, and that she was alone. He saw by the way she recoiled from Pan and the Lost Boys that she was as much a prisoner on Neverland as he was. That made her his ally. He knew that she would help him escape Neverland, because she wanted to get out herself.

But, when he saw her break down earlier, he had felt things he hadn't felt in a while. She was scared, hurt, and alone. Pan was toying with her head and feelings, and would not leave her alone.

When he and Pan talked before, he knew that Pan had plans for her, which meant Killian could use her as a bargaining chip at least.

But seeing her like that, he wanted to find Pan and hurt him so much, his grandfather would feel it. He didn't want to betray her to Pan, and was relieved that she had so willingly given him her trust.

_Maybe_, he thought, _by saving her,_ _I can wash away the blood of my crew. Maybe, I can redeem myself for not saving Milah. _

"Captain?" asked Smee, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"We're not handing her over," Killian said, firmly.

Smee looked stunned.

"Captain," he protested. "If we hand her over, Pan will help us. She has little value to us, and he obviously doesn't want her hurt. If we were to hand her over, we would be rewarded, and she wouldn't be in any danger."

Killian turned to him, almost angry.

_How could someone even think of handing anyone over to Pan, knowing that Pan would get under their skin like a knife through butter?_

"Not in danger," he repeated, incredulously. "Mr. Smee, there's only one place where she'd be in less danger, and that's at the Dark One's mercy. Would you hand her over to the crocodile, knowing what he would have in store for her?"

Smee looked away, and the other men looked at Killian warily.

"Gentlemen," said Killian. "What is the one principle we live by?"

"Good form," they all replied in unison, Mr. Smee shuffling guiltily.

Good. Despite all their time on Neverland, they hadn't lost what he had taught them.

"And is it good form to hand over a defenseless girl to the likes of Pan?" he asked.

The reply was not in unison, but muttered and hesitant.

_Unbelievable. Had they all considered giving Jess to Pan? Had their fear of him really affected them that much?_

"If my memory is correct," he continued, growing louder and more forceful."I'm still the captain, am I not? Well, I expect good form from all of you! The girl is not to be harmed in any way. You will not touch her, you will not say a single rude word to her, you will not even look at her if your mind becomes dirty. And you will not betray her to Pan. Doing so will be betraying me as well.

"Do I make meself clear?!"

The answer was a definite "Aye, Captain!"

Killian nodded, but couldn't fight the sense of déjà vu.

Hadn't he said something along those lines, before he handed Bae over? Wasn't he guilty of what they had just considered doing? How was he any different, if not more guilty?

_That was different,_ he told himself. _She's a girl. She isn't the Dark One's spawn. As far as I can tell, she isn't planning on stealing a cutlass and waving it at me for finding that sketch of Milah._

"Captain!"

Killian turned at the urgency in Smee's voice.

He saw at what Smee was pointing at, and felt his heart sink.

A light, on the sea, coming towards them.

To be sure, he pulled his spyglass out of his belt, and looked. Yes, it was the Lost Ones.

"They're coming for her, aren't they, Captain?" asked Smee, looking more frightened than usual.

They were. And if Killian didn't hand over Jess, they would not hesitate to kill any of them. And he wouldn't be able to kill the crocodile if he was dead.

"Wake her up," he ordered.

Smee, looking relieved, ran to the Captain's quarters, where Jess was. He probably thought they were going to betray her after all.

He didn't want to, but the Lost Boys may have gotten him, this time.

This was going to be interesting.

For a hint of courage, he took a swig of rum.

* * *

I wake up to Smee shaking me by the shoulder.

"Wake up," he hisses. "You have to get up."

I open my eyes, sit up, and yawn. I still feel very tired, and I don't think I slept that long.

That probably means something is wrong. I can tell by the urgency in Smee's voice.

"What is it?" I ask, climbing out of bed.

Almost instinctively, I search for the twisted feeling of Pan or his shadow, but get nothing.

"Come and see," he replies, leading me to the deck.

That isn't comforting at all.

Hook wouldn't wake me up for nothing, and I can't sense Pan…

I see the pirate standing on the left (_no, port_) side of the ship, and looking at something through his spyglass.

"What is it?" I ask again, hoping that Hook will give me a clearer answer than Smee.

"The Lost Ones," replies Hook, handing me his spyglass. "Guess they found you."

I look through, at the approaching light.

Sure enough, there's a raft of about seven or so Lost Boys, all armed to the teeth. At the head-surprise, surprise-is Felix.

I sigh, lowering the spyglass.

"What are you going to do?" I ask, turning to Hook.

Forget what he's going to do, what am I going to do?!

_I'm not just going to let Pan's legion of dorks take me back to his camp. He also is planning something else. He was here when Hook and I arrived, and could have taken me then. Why didn't he?_

"Pan wants me to hand you over," replies Hook. "It looks like this is his way of seeing if I'll come through."

_Right, Pan wants Hook to betray me so that I won't trust him. Funny thing is, since I know about it, it turns the plan around in Pan's face. I know that I can trust him._

"So hand me over," I reply, without hesitation.

Hook raises an eyebrow at me, and even Smee looks surprised.

"Look," I say, firmly. "Pan wants me to not trust you. I know that I can, but he doesn't know that. Hand me over, and Pan will have his 'betrayal' and I can just escape him and come back."

"Except he'll know the minute you're back," points out Smee.

I'm about to protest this, when I realize that the guy is right. It was no coincidence that Pan found me in Bae's cave. Or that he was here when I first arrived. But he couldn't have known that Hook would take me under his wing. He couldn't have known to come here.

_Maybe he tracked Bae and I, but he couldn't have tracked Hook and I that fast. It took him and the Lost Boys hours to do that, when I first arrived. And both times I was with Bae._

"So I'll hide out for a few days," I reply, shrugging.

"Lass, have you tried hiding from Pan?" asks Hook, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"Yeah, and I've done alright," I reply.

I look back at the lights that are getting closer.

"Look, I can take care of myself," I insist. "Pan wants me alive, and as much as he'll try to mess with my mind, even if he catches me, he won't hurt me. But if you don't hand me over, he will probably kill everyone on this ship, and take me anyway."

I look at Hook, hoping that he'll see that this is the only way that we can all hopefully get out alright. I may be in the hands of the Lost Boys, but at least I can try to escape them. If Pan was here, it would all be over, but I can probably take down a couple of Lost Boys.

_I hope._

Hook gives a sigh of resignation.

"Alright," he says. "Hide yourself below, and I'll tell them that you're here and all theirs."

"Ha," I say, though somewhat weakly. I really don't like the idea of being back in Pan's hands, but at least we're a step ahead of him, now.

"Lass," says Hook. "Are you sure that-"

"Yes," I say, cutting him off. "Pan will spare you if you comply, but he will kill you if you come between him and his weapon."

With that, I run below decks, to a small, hidden cellar Hook had shown me earlier.

I hide behind a sack of something smelly, and hold my breath. My heart seems to be pounding way too loudly.

_Please,_ I think. _Let this work. Let them buy it. _

I can vaguely make out voices, but can distinguish who is speaking, or what they're saying.

Come on, Hook. Don't back out to protect me. You won't win. You know that as much as I.

I hear footsteps above me, and bite my finger to keep myself from crying out.

_Yes, Hook came through. Now, I just have to escape Pan's minions. Pan's highly trained, psycho, ruthless minions, who probably think of me as the weapon they need to retrieve for Pan._

_Piece of cake, right?_

The trapdoor above me opens, and my mind whirls.

_I've got to get away, but after I'm off the ship. I need them to think that Hook has betrayed my trust. However, if we reach the island, Pan will probably have all sorts of lovely surprises in store. My best chance is to get away on the water._

_I'd have to-  
_

I'm pulled from my thoughts by two pairs of strong arms grabbing me around my forearms, and hoisting me to my feet.

Immediately, I start struggling, kicking, and screaming, as if I'm really afraid.

"No!" I shriek. "No, let me go!"The boys say nothing, but half carry, half drag me up to the deck. Their faces are hooded, but I can just tell by the hardness in their grips that these are a couple of the rougher ones.

"Found her," one grunts, as I'm pulled out to the deck, where the other Lost Boys wait.

"Hook," I say, acting like the panicked girl that I cannot be, if I want to live. "Hook, help me!"

Hook, not missing a beat, glances at me, somewhat guiltily, then turns to Felix.

"He'll be pleased?" he asks, purposefully avoiding looking at me. He's good at this.

"So long as you don't get between him and the girl," replies Felix, his monotone drawl the same as ever.

"Hook?" I ask, keeping up the act. "Hook, what are you doing?"

"Never knew Pan had a thing for girls," remarks Hook, ignoring me.

"If he needs them for his plans, he'll kill for them," retorts Felix, as the Lost Boys drag me to the side of the boat.

"I trusted you!" I shout, squirming against my holders' grips. "I trusted you to help me!"

"Sorry, lass," replies Hook. "But a man has to consider his priorities. And living is on the top of my list."

Before I'm dragged over the side of the ship, I give Hook a small, unnoticeable wink.

"Gently, Rufio," calls Felix, as they put me in the middle of the raft. "Pan wouldn't like it if his Dreamer got hurt."

I continue trying to struggle, but one of the Lost Boys shoves a sack over my face, effectively blocking my sight.

_Now that's just unfair_.

They don't bind me, but I can feel my burly guards sitting on either side of me. Any attempt to remove the sack won't go unnoticed. And by removing the sack, they'll know that I'm going to try to escape.

I could try escaping with the sack over me, but I won't be able to tell how close we are to shore, so I can know when to try to escape and swim.

I hear and feel the other boys climbing into the boat, and roaring away from the ship. I feel the back of my neck prickling, as if someone is watching me. Probably Hook, looking over the side of his ship.

I wait for a couple of minutes, before trying a different tactic: talking.

"Is this really necessary?" I ask to no one in particular. If I could see, I would direct the question at Felix, but being blindfolded confuses a person.

"Pan's orders," says the guy on my right. At least, I think its my right. I can't tell under here.

"Right, because blinding me will be really effective in convincing me that I want to stay with the Lost Boys," I reply, sarcastically.

Plus, it's hot under here. If I'm not sweating by now, I probably will in a minute.

"It's not supposed to convince you, Vin," says Felix's voice from...in front of me?

"Pan is mad at you. You ran away and left your younger brothers alone. Don't you hear them crying?"

_Yes, I hear them. I've heard them all night. But I'm not going to let Pan or his minions know how much it hurts. That is at least one pleasure I can prevent them from having._

"Like Pan cares about any of you," I say, bitingly. "To him, you guys are more weapons and tools than I am to him."

"Pan is our family!" Felix replies fervently.

_Whoa!_

_The guy _does_ have emotions._

"Oh please," I sneer. "Pan cares about no one but himself, and he is using you guys to get what he wants. He justifies it by calling it a family."

"Pan found those who were unloved, and unwanted," Felix says, almost passionately. "He gave them a family, and a home in Neverland."

He really believes it, doesn't he? He truly believes that Pan is his family.

"Oh?" I reply. "Is that what he said when he kidnapped Abby? 'Yeah, this little girl is unloved and unwanted, and totally wants to be here. We'll just tie her to a tree until her older sister gets here, because she is even more unloved and unwanted, and she'll practically beg to be one of us.'"

"Pan needs you," argues Felix. "He needs you to make sure that we don't lose our magic until he gets the heart of the truest believer."

_Okay, he lost me at the part of not losing magic. How does that even work? I can tell just by being here that Neverland is full of magic. Sure, using it may come more easily to me than to most, but Neverland is certainly not losing any magic._

"Right," I reply, sarcastically. "Because that totally justifies two kidnappings, manipulation, and who knows what else."

"At least Pan doesn't abandon us, like you did the younger ones," retorts Felix.

"If Pan weren't so insistent that he needed a Dreamer, those kids would be safe with their families, not crying because they're scared," I point out. "Besides, how can you argue that Pan cares for all of you if he allows the children to cry at night, instead of trying to help them himself?"

"Don't-," starts Felix.

I feel him stand up in the boat, causing it to shake under us.

_Now!_

I immediately imagine the sack off my head and over Felix's. Its easier than I would expect. I've focused on the picture of him standing up this entire conversation, and the darkness is just as good, if not better than having my eyes closed.

I've also been imagining the dim light of the stars, and the rafts light hitting my eyes, and the cool night air hitting my face. All I had to do was hold off until he was angry enough.

Within a second, the sack is not over me, but over Felix, the same way my hairband was out of my hair and on my wrist.

I've already steeled myself for the light and air, and waste no time.

Felix stumbles to the side in surprise, severely rocking the boat.

I dive to the side with him, and our sudden combined weight causes the raft to capsize.

All of us are plunged into the salty water, and I immediately duck under the boys, and break to the surface of the water.

The island isn't too far, but whether I can make it or not by swimming is an entirely different matter.

Either way, I duck back under the water, and start to swim.

I had the element of surprise on my side when I tossed the boat over. If I can escape now in the confusion...

I seem to be going into water a lot lately. Then again, I can't tell how much time has passed since I've been in Neverland.

At least two days.

I come up for air again, and check to see how the boys are doing.

They have the boat turned back up, and Felix is trying to direct them back into the boat. Two or three try to climb in from different sides, but slip.

One, whom I recognize as one of the guys who got me, tries to climb in with a few others from one side, but the boat just capsizes again.

I would laugh if it wasn't so important that I not be found.

I go back under, and start to swim. The salt water makes me more buoyant, so its harder to cut through the water by paddling and kicking, but at least the current helps carry me.

Once I get to shore, I'm going to be on the run. I don't want to endanger Bae, and I can't go back to the Jolly Roger for a few days at the least.

It will be hard, especially if Pan starts trying to track me. I really need to find out what exactly he did to be able to find me.

I feel something rush under me, and I immediately know what it is. Another mermaid.

I imagine a knife in my hand, and can feel it forming when one grabs me around the waist.

I open my eyes, and know the knife is in my hand.

_Let them try to kill me, I will dice them to little pieces of sushi._

I can't make out the features of the mermaid in the dim light, but I don't have too. I just need to know where to stab.

I kick out, and twist like an eel in her grip, before reaching out to stab.

Something grabs my arm from behind, and forces it back before I can stab my holder.

_Two of them. Crap._

I squirm in the two grips, when I feel another grab my other arm.

_No! I've come too far to drown like a rat!_

"Calm down."

I hear the voice on my right side. It sounds eerily melodic, and I have know idea how I can hear it underwater, but right at this moment, I don't care a bowl of sugar.

Suddenly, I feel the one who holds my waist grip my face tightly.

I continue to struggle and kick, when she kisses me on the mouth.

* * *

**A/N**: Uh-oh, something's getting fishy! Theories of what the mermaids are doing, anyone?

Just as a heads up, I'm starting to update every five days instead of every three days. Just so y'all know.

A special thanks to **Lovely-Daisy, Mehan-Smith, **and **Azulish** for putting this story on alert, and to **SunnySideUp25 ** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Female whovian, **and **scorpiongirl92** for your awesome reviews. And, a big thanks to my betas **Uncommon fairy **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**! You guys are amazing, you keep my computer running!

Please follow, favorite, or review, or whatever y'all want! Opinion's of Hook's point of view are especially appreciated; he is such an awesome character! **:)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own OUAT, and Peter Pan. My lawyers are still slugging it out over Captain Hook, though. _  
_**

* * *

The shock is enough to make me stop for a split second.

_Did she just _kiss_ me? The creature that is trying to drown me? __That is wrong on _so_ many levels!_

Then I realize that I'm not being held anymore. And that my lungs, which should be burning for oxygen, are fine.

"What?" I murmur.

The word passes out as bubbles. And as soon as I've spoken, I inhale instinctively. The water turns to air as soon as it passes my lips.

The mermaids are still around me, as if waiting for me to react.

I look at them, and cock my head to the side. I can tell they disarmed me in the fight, and I imagine the knife back in my hand. Just in case.

"Did you do this?" I ask. Again, the words come out as bubbles.

"Our kisses prevent people from drowning," replies one, with long, flowing hair. "If you wanted to get back to shore, you would need our kiss."

_Apparently they can understand bubble talk_.

"So why kiss me?" I ask. "Didn't you try to kill me earlier."

"That was only Anemone," replies another mermaid on the side. "She believed that you and Pan were lovers, and attempted to kill you in a fit of jealousy."

_Okay, there are so many things wrong with that statement._

"Pan and I are NOT lovers," I say forcefully (which only makes bigger bubbles). "And if that's a new tactic he's trying-"

"Of course not," replies the last mermaid. "But our foolish little sister did not realize this. Nor did she realize the price of making Pan angry."

I pause.

_I know Pan saved me from drowning, and Bae told me that he went back underwater after saving me. Did he…_

_Did he kill her?_

"What happened to her?" I ask, unsure of how to react.

On the one hand, I'm alright by the idea that she won't be drowning any more people, but the thought that Pan killed her for me is terrifying.

"We don't know," replies the second mermaid. "He stabbed her, but our magic can only go so far. She may or may not make it."

_So Pan would nearly kill someone who almost killed me. What would he have done to Hook if Hook didn't "betray" me?_

"I'm sorry," I say.

_I'll let them interpret that as they will. Whether they take it as sorry for being the reason their sister could be dying, or that I'm sorry that their sister is suffering is up to them. I don't know myself._

"Don't be," replies the third mermaid, that has a...silver tail, I think. Tricky thing, moonlight. "Anemone disobeyed Pan. She paid the price. She isn't the first."

"If anything," the second one murmurs. "Pan was pleased."

"Pleased?" I repeat, unsure if I understood them. "Pan was pleased that I was almost drowned?"

"He was pleased that his toy was putting up such a fight," replies the long-haired one. "He says he has never had such fun with a Lost One in years."

I feel indignation slam into me full force.

"His _what_?" I ask.

If what they say is true, the mermaids aren't going to be the ones I cut to bits.

"His toy," the second repeats, sounding confused. "Were you not aware of this?"

"I am no one's toy!" I reply, practically feeling the steam pouring out of my ears.

_When I get my hands on him…_

"Yes, you are," insist the long-haired one. "You were brought to Neverland, were you not? You belong to him, the ruler of Neverland now. Normally, you would simply be a Lost One, but you resist. By resisting, you ask him to play. When he plays, you become his toy to play with, until you accept who you are."

"When hell freezes over," I mutter, waspishly.

"He says he enjoys this toy more than most," the silver tailed one says. "He says the longer you fight, the more fun it is-"

"To break me," I finish. "Yes, I've heard it."

_So, that's all it is? Holding me prisoner, trying to mess with my head. It's all a game to him. I am nothing but another trophy to add to his collection to him. The most powerful Dreamer in the world, to make him whatever he needs._

"Right," I murmur. "Well, I've taken up a lot of your time. Thank you for telling me this."

I start to swim away, back towards shore, while making the knife I summoned disappear.

"I wouldn't fight, toy," calls out one mermaid, as I swim. "The more you do, the more determined he becomes."

I know I shouldn't lose it, but this revelation is making me snappish.

"The next one to call me 'toy' is shark bait," I shout back, before swimming on.

Now that I don't have to come up for air, it makes the swimming easier. I let myself go up, just to see where I'm going, then I go back under.

As I swim, I start to think of what the mermaids said.

So, Pan thinks I'm his toy, which means that this is all a cruel game. What was that Felix said? Peter Pan never fails.

_Well, Pan better get used to taking back what he says, because he is going to fail with me. He's not going to make me one of his brainless minions._

But, at the same time, he needs me alive, and will kill those who try to kill me.

This means that he needs me for something beyond just using my powers as a Dreamer. The reason he abducts the loved ones of Dreamers, the reason he forces them to make a deal with him, his plans for me, I'm sure they're all connected.

_Well, for all I care, Pan can shove his plans where the sun doesn't shine. I'm not going to allow myself back in his hands anymore._

If he thinks that I'm his toy, then I'm going to teach him the difference.

Toys are objects you pick up and play with.

People, however, fight back and run when they are reduced to objects.

_So, I will run until I'm off Neverland. Until Pan realizes it's not a toy he's dealing with, I'm never going to stop fighting and running._

With this thought in mind, I reach the shore.

Immediately, I run into some foliage, and imagine clothes that are better fit for trekking through Neverland's jungle. Simple black sweatpants, a comfortable t-shirt, a light jacket (just in case), clean socks, and hiking boots.

I change into these, and imagine that my old clothes are dry and clean.

Folding them up, I imagine a backpack, and put my clothes in, along with the essentials I imagine.

A water bottle, band-aids, granola bars and trail mix.

I can imagine things like a tent and a sleeping bag later. I'd rather not be lugging those through the jungle.

I'm going to have to be on the move at all times, until I know it is safe to definitely return to Bae or Hook. I may be able to visit, especially if I find more pixie dust, but for now, I have to be on my own.

I toss the backpack over my shoulders, and turn at my wet, sandy footprints.

As a final safety measure, I make them disappear. However Pan is tracking me, I don't want it to be that easy.

With that done, I go farther into the jungle.

_Time to disappear._

* * *

I'm not sure how long I wander.

Definitely for several hours, possibly for a whole day. Come to think of it, how long have I been in Neverland?

I stop periodically to rest, relieve myself, eat a granola bar or some trail mix, and to try to figure out where I am.

None of this place looks familiar, and I don't think for a moment that I've seen all Neverland.

I try to keep alert, listening for Lost Boys who may be searching for me, or tracks that tell me that they are nearby.

A few times, I try to use my new sixth sense to find out if there is magic nearby, but find nothing.

Part of me wonders how exactly I'm going to get back.

I can try using the shadow, but I wouldn't trust that thing if my life depended on it. Bae said he had a couple of ideas that almost worked, so I can try seeing him sometime, and ask what they were. They may end up failing, but at least I'll have a general idea of what to try.

A couple of times, I sense Pan or the shadow, not too far away. I immediately backtrack, and go the opposite direction.

My tracks have disappeared behind me since I set out, but until I find out how Pan is finding me, I'm not taking any risks.

After walking for what feels like miles, my need to sleep finally catches up on me.

I haven't really got to sleep. Just rest.

I try to find a place that would give me the tactical advantage should the Lost Boys show up. Someplace where I won't be easily seen, and can easily get away when the time comes.

But after a few more minutes, I'm ready to faint.

I need sleep _now._ Real sleep, not just a few minutes here and there.

But I can't go to sleep here. I'll be seen.

_Then make something that won't be seen, stupid!_

I stop at the thought.

_That's right. I am supposedly the most powerful Dreamer yet. Theoretically, couldn't I make something that can't be seen?_

_It's worth a shot, because I'm about to die of exhaustion._

I imagine a tent, like one used in a camping trip. A flashlight inside, and a sleeping bag and pillow. But it cannot be seen on the outside. It, and everyone and everything inside are invisible.

I open my eyes hesitantly, and can't see anything.

_Did it work?_

I hesitantly reach out, and feel the canvas under my fingertips.

As a precaution, I imagine a circle in the ground, with about a twenty-foot radius.

If anyone unwanted crosses, I will be woken up.

Satisfied with the results, I unzip the tent (finding the zipper takes forever), and see the inside behind.

I climb in, and zip the tent shut, making me and the inside invisible.

With that, I settle down, close my eyes, and get some much-needed sleep.

Whether I sleep well is an entirely different matter. No sooner do I fall asleep then dreams come.

* * *

_A woman with long raven hair walking beside a light-haired man make their way through a forest. Both are silent, as if lost in their own thoughts, yet they keep trying to subtly glance at the other when they think they are not looking. Eventually, they walk down a path, and stop at the sight of a palace in the distance. _

_The man turns, and hands the woman a small bag. The sound of coins jingling breaks the silence. _

_"You'll probably want this," he says. _

_She blinks, as if remembering the bag for the first time. _

_"Right, the gold," she says, almost reminding herself. "Thank you. And, um, you can't get married without this."_

_She hands him a pouch, that she was carrying, which he accepts. Reaching in, he takes out a simple, yet pretty, silver ring set with a green Peridot. Both he and the woman look at it, as if taking in all that it implies. _

_"I know," says the man, misinterpreting the woman's look. "Not your style." _

_The woman shrugs, and takes the ring. _

_"Only one way to find out," she replies, slipping the ring on her finger. It's a perfect fit. For a moment, both the man and woman stare at the ring, then meet each other's eyes. _

_Eventually, the woman looks away, and pulls the ring off. _

_"Yeah, not me at all," she says, sounding like she's trying to convince herself more than him. _

_With that, she hands him back the ring._

* * *

I wake with a start. Blinking, I sit up, and look around. _What?_

That's when I feel it.

I sense magic again. But not twisted magic, like Pan's. Good magic, like the pixie dust. Except its moving.

Moving, not far from me. Almost twenty feet.

I suddenly sense it crossing the line I made before I went to sleep.

_But I made it so that I would feel if anyone unwanted crossed. So how am I feeling this good magic move, and yet it's unwanted?_

I debate whether I should follow or not. On the one hand, anyone unwanted would generally mean that I'd want to stay away. On the other, I can't believe this good feeling I'm getting can be unwanted.

_Well, it may help me against Pan..._

I grab my backpack, and climb out of the tent.

I imagine it disappearing, and reach out to be sure. My hand touches nothing but empty air. The tent is gone.

I turn, and start to pursue the sense. I'm not sure why I'm so intent on following, especially if it may be bad.

Then again, if it is bad, I can always turn and run.

Whatever it is, it isn't going that fast. Just walking.

I feel it, maybe ten feet ahead.

Looking up in the shadows, I see a small figure.

Definitely not a Lost Boy, but not one of Hook's men either.

They carry themselves in a way that says they are always on the look out for danger.

As I get closer, I see it is actually a woman, maybe in her late twenties.

She is wearing a green dress and leggings, and her blonde hair is tied up in a bun. She has a knife strapped to her belt, which tells me that startling her may not be the best idea if she knows how to use it.

She is carrying a basket of plants in her arms, and doesn't seem to be aware of me.

I decide it would be best to follow from a distance. It may not be the best idea to draw attention to myself if she turns out to be bad.

Just slowly, quietly follow her.

Right at that moment, my foot loudly snaps a twig.

_Oh, dang it._

The woman immediately drops her basket, pulls out her knife, and turns to see me.

_Double dang._

"Who are you?" she demands, in an accent I don't recognize.

"Easy," I say, holding up my arms in front of me. "I'm Jess Lancaster. I'm not trying to hurt you."

"Then why are you following me?" she asks.

_Yeah, that is what I was doing, wasn't it? Probably looks very suspicious._

"I know what this looks like," I say, trying to be reassuring. "I can't explain it, but I sensed you coming by. I sensed that you had magic. Good magic. I was curious and I followed you."

The woman squints at me, as if she may or may not believe me.

"I don't have magic," she says. "But I make sure that I'm never around where the Lost Boys are."

"I'm not one of Pan's people," I assure her. "Trust me, I'm trying to get away from him."

"Why?" she asks.

"Because I'm a Dreamer," I reply. "I'm apparently pretty powerful in Neverland. He wants me to work for him so he can use me as a slave. But, ever since I was brought to Neverland, I've been able to sense magic, and whether it is good or bad. And I sensed yours was good."

She still is looking at me suspiciously. I'm wondering whether I should just screw it and leave, but part of me wants this woman to trust me.

"I swear, I'm telling the truth," I insist.

She sighs, and lowers the blade. I can tell that she thinks it's against her better judgment.

"I don't have magic," she repeats, in a bitter voice. "It got taken from me."

_I don't think so. It's not like I only feel a trickle or anything. This woman has plenty of magic inside of her._

When I tell her this, she only shakes her head.

"What you feel is probably a trace of what I once had," she says, sadly.

"How did you get your magic taken from you?" I ask, trying not to be rude. I don't want to pry, but I just want to know how she's so sure.

I haven't had this ability for very long. I may not be sensing magic, but a trace, like she said.

The woman glances at me, before sighing.

"I helped someone who didn't deserve it," she replied. "I put everything on the line to help, but in the end, I lost everything."

Her shoulders roll as she's saying this.

The movement is like unfurling...wings on your back.

_The green clothes...movements like wings...once had magic...no way!_

"You're TINKERBELL?!" I say, unable to believe it.

She stops, and still looks at me suspiciously.

"How do you know my name?" she asks.

I'm practically bouncing. Forget Wendy and Tiger Lilly, Tinkerbell was always my favorite in the book. I've given up on the cheesy Disney movie since I realized Hook doesn't have a perm.

"Um, there's this story, in my world," I explain, trying not to make it sound crazy.

_What am I saying? I'm talking to Tinkerbell! It's already crazy._

"Peter Pan, the Lost Boys, Captain Hook," I continue. "They're all in it. So are you. And you're pretty awesome in the story."

She looks confused, but mildly flattered.

"Wait," I say. "You don't have magic? That can't be true."

_Now that I know who she is, I can't deny it. There is definitely magic inside her. Maybe she doesn't know it, but she has it. Tinkerbell without magic is like lightning without thunder: impossible._

"Yes," she replies. "I don't know what exactly this story of yours said about me, but its wrong."

She looks at the ground, almost in defeat.

"I'm just a stupid former fairy who tried to do some good in the world and got her wings taken away for it."

"But I can sense it," I insist. "You have magic. Lots of it. You just don't realize it."

She sighs, and rolls her eyes.

"Even with magic, I couldn't use it," she argues. "Fairies can only use magic if they have a wand or dust."

_Dust? Why would she need dust? Oh, yeah. Faith, trust, and pixie... wait…_

"Dust?" I repeat. "As in pixie dust?"

"Yes," she replies, gathering up her basket. "And I don't have any. So even if I have magic, like you say, I can't use it."

Her tone tells me that she wants this conversation to end, but I refuse to let her give up so easily. As long as I'm trapped, I may as well help someone who Pan won't use against me.

"What if I told you that I knew where to get some dust?" I ask, as she's about to turn to leave.

She pauses. Yes, I have her attention.

"If you do," she says, "and you bring me some, I will be grateful. If I still have magic, that is. But I've spent years on this island, without finding any dust. I'm not getting any hopes up."

_No. It's not supposed to be like this. The Peter Pan good guy, Hook bad guy swap I'm okay with, but Tinkerbell giving up? Seriously, what diluted person told J. M. Barrie about Peter Pan?_

She turns to me, and probably catches my expression.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you," she says sincerely.

"It's not your fault," I reply. "I guess I'm upset that I was misinformed."

She smiles sympathetically.

"You seem like a nice girl, Jess," she says. "Trust me, you don't want to be on Neverland. If you came here because you thought it would be like your story, then get off, and just read that story."

"I'm trying," I reply. "You wouldn't happen to have any ideas, would you?"

She shakes her head.

"I'm sorry," she says, "but I came to Neverland to be left alone. Because people who usually enter Neverland don't come out."

"Helpful," I reply, half-heartedly.

We bid each other a polite good-bye, and I watch her leave.

She has magic. I can feel it. She just needs something to show her.

And I know where to go to get that.

Without a second thought on whether it's a good idea or not, I start to search for the tree with the pixie dust.

I'm not sure why I'm so intent on helping her. Maybe because I can't help the Lost Boys, and this is my way of making up for that.

I try to follow my sixth sense to determine where the tree is. It takes me a while, but I finally feel it again, faintly. It means that there's a long walk ahead of me.

For at least an hour, I hike through the jungle, through the foliage. Yes, the feeling is stronger.

The place looks familiar. Hook and I were walking past here earlier.

Eager, I run forward, to the tree. The feeling of the good magic is strong.

So much, that I nearly miss it.

The dark, twisted feeling of Pan and his shadow.

He must have seen me tense, because I hear his voice.

"You know, I've never had to be on the run much, so I wouldn't know. But, to me, going back to a place that I've already been to, seems a little stupid, wouldn't you say?"

I turn to face him, behind me. Pan is casually leaning against a tree, grinning impishly at me.

I'm only able to get one clear thought across: _Holy. Crap._

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, a cliffhanger. I'm mean like that.

Thank you **horsez913, Female whovian, SoleFaith, lovefromitaly, wireless-bird, Iisafreakingninja, .Purple, **and **MidnightRose29** for putting _Fading Away _on story alert, and thank you **Female whovian, Iisafreakingninja,** and** MidnightRose29 **for favoriting it. Also, thank you to **Female whovian, Dreamer-Girl96, SoleFaith, scorpiongirl92, meguhanu,** and **BlueRose1880 **for your awesome reviews. And, of course, thank you **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms, **my amazing betas. Also, I want to give a big shout out to ouattranscripts, whose website helped me so much with the dream scene. Y'all are amazing. Thank you very much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on the dream, Tinkerbell, and the mermaids are especially appreciated! **:) **


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Do we have to do this? Seriously? It's so depressing...**

**A/N**: I know I don't usually put these at the beginning, I just wanted to let y'all know: the part with Pan's POV is a little dark. Just to give y'all a heads-up. If you do read the scene though, I'd recommend listening to **Where is the Edge** by Within Temptation with it. Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

"You know, I've never had to be on the run much, so I wouldn't know. But, to me, going back to a place that I've already been to, seems a little stupid, wouldn't you say?"

I turn to face him, behind me. Pan is casually leaning against a tree, grinning impishly at me.

I'm only able to get one clear thought across: _Holy. Crap._

"Well, you would know a lot about stupidity, wouldn't you?" I retort, pushing my fear aside.

Honestly, I'm stalling. The problem is that I can't imagine a knife without closing my eyes (I'll have to work on that), but closing my eyes means not watching him. I can't afford to risk that.

He chuckles at my reply, and straightens.

"How are you finding me?" I ask, bluntly.

I'm not in the mood for banter, and I need to know.

He doesn't even seem taken aback.

"Right to the point then, Vin?" he asks.

He pauses, almost as if waiting for me to protest that my real name is Jess, but I'm not going to play his game.

"Let's make it a game," he continues. "A puzzle to solve."

I snort at this.

"Right," I mutter, "because that's all life is to you, isn't it? Just one big game. And we're all your toys."

"Now you're getting it," he says, smiling.

He doesn't even try to deny it. And yet, the Lost Boys will remain faithful to him.

_This guy seriously needs to get a life. _

It doesn't seem like he's telling me how he's finding me. He wants me to figure it out. To see if I'm really the brilliant Dreamer he says I am.

"Alright," I say, crossing my arms. "Let's see. You found me when I was with Bae. But that was hours after you saved me from the mermaid. Bae said that I had been out for a while, so you would have found me long before if you were having me followed. But it only took you ten minutes at the most to find me, but that was _after_ I woke up."

I look up to Pan, who is watching, still smiling. He gestures for me to continue.

"So, I have to be awake for you to find me," I continue, my arms uncrossed. "You also went to the Jolly Roger before I got on board, and left when I arrived. That means you knew where I was headed, which means that you knew that I was with Hook. And he had been on the island to talk to you. But, you didn't know that our paths would cross. The way I was going was too random."

I think I may be onto something, so I continue, pacing across the clearing.

"You could have grabbed me while I was with Hook. But you didn't. Instead you were on the Jolly Roger, probably to make sure that I was there. Then you sent in the Lost Boys to get me. Hook betrayed me, which is what you wanted, because you tried to get him to do it earlier. This time he actually came through."

That should be enough for him to believe that Hook's "betrayal" was genuine. I can't let him know that Hook and I are actually a step ahead of him.

"But, you didn't know I was with Hook, for a while. And when you did, you waited until I was onboard."

_Why? Why would he wait onboard, and then send the Lost Boys to find me? Why would he leave when I knew he was there?_

_Why would Pan let me get close to Hook, when he was trying to get me to trust no one but him?_

_Wait…_

I stop, dead in my tracks, and realization creeps in.

"That's it!" I exclaim. "You always wait until I feel safe and secure. I was with Bae, and I felt safe in his hideout. Both times, you or your minions found me. You waited until I felt at home on the Roger. You left so I would feel safe. And you are trying to convince me that the only place safe is in your camp. But, you only come when I feel secure, not before! Which means that you can't find me until I feel safe!"

I stop, and turn to him, grinning in triumph._ Point to Jess._

"Am I right?!" I ask, knowing that I am.

Pan gives me a mocking round of applause.

"Very, very good, Vin," he says, half sarcastically, half gleefully. "I knew you could do it."

"You were the one who left all the evidence," I point out. "My only question is how you are able to come and go so fast."

"What?" he asks.

He suddenly vanishes from where he was standing, and appears inches away from me.

"Like that?"

I back away, trying to keep distance between us. Last couple times he was this close, he brought me to the camp, and I threw two or three knives at him. The more distance, the better.

"What, Vin?" he asks, seeing me back up. "Are you scared? Going to run?"

I shake my head.

"I'm done with running, Pan," I reply. "Because running makes it look like you're winning. That you are really getting to me. But you're not."

_I figured out his puzzle. And it was him who made the first mistake. I can beat him, and I plan to. _

_And after he called me his toy, I am not going to allow him to think of me that way anymore. Toys let you play with them. People fight._

"How about this?" I say, telling myself to stand firm. "Instead of us chasing each other like cats and dogs, why don't we stop and fight each other?"

He pauses, and arches his trademarked eyebrow.

"Fight each other?" he repeats. "Seems a little unlike you, Vin."

"No magic," I insist. "Just you and I. No killing. You win, and I go back to your camp without a struggle."

I can just escape later, if he does win. He needs to know that I won't stand for him treating me like an object.

"And if I win, I get to walk away, until next time," I finish.

Pan seems to consider this, while I set my backpack down. The look on his face is a mixture of surprise and thoughtfulness. Evidently, this is a surprise to him. It's a surprise to me.

What feels like years ago, I was worried about writing two essays, answering study questions, and studying for a killer history test. Now, I am challenging a fairy-tale character to fight one-on-one, so that he will let me leave.

_Is this really what it's like for characters in all the stories? Not happily ever after, but always on the run, always trying to escape the psychopaths?_

"Alright," he agrees.

He looks at me, curiously, and cocks his head.

"This very unlike you, Vin," he notes.

"You'll find that I am willing to go through many lengths to get out of this place, Pan," I reply.

He smirks at this.

"Unfortunately, Vin, I-"

I cut him off by barreling into him, slamming him down on the ground. I have the element of surprise, and I'm now on top.

My first thought: _get his knife._

But he recovers quickly. He grabs my upper arm, and turns us over, so that he's now on top. His adjusts his grip, so that my wrists are pinned down.

I knee him in the groin, and wrap my legs around his torso. He is slightly off, with my kneeing him, and I use it to turn us over.

I slam my knuckles into his windpipe, and try to grab the knife. His hand grabs my wrist as I try to draw it, and he uses me to pull himself up, and pull me down.

Quick as a snake, he painfully twists my arm behind me, and forces me to bend down even more. I go limp, and purposely bend down further, taking him with me. Then, I jerk up, so my head rams into his nose.

It's enough for his grip to slacken, and I turn and hit the nose with the tightened palm of my hand. That should be enough to get his eyes watering.

I don't dare go for the knife, but try to get him down.

I kick him in the shin, and use my foot to sweep around and try to take out his feet from under him.

He avoids the second kick, and makes a grab at me.

I duck under, but he immediately turns, and wraps his arm around my neck, forcing me against him.

I stamp on his foot, and twist my body against his. Grabbing his upper arm, and using the momentum, I'm able to throw him off, to the ground.

I push away, when I notice it, slithering like a snake towards me. A vine from the pixie dust tree.

_Wait a second…_

I bend down, and place my hands on my knees, and pant. I'm out of breath, and the struggle is harder than I thought.

Pan sees his chance, and charges me.

I wait until he is about to grab me, when I duck under him, twist around, and shove him into the tree.

Instantly, the vine wraps itself tightly around him, pinning him to the tree, with his back towards me.

I step back, and inhale, grinning.

I won the fight. _Point to Jess._

"Oh, very clever, Vin," he says, shifting his head to the side, so it's not smushed against the tree. "Using the tree against me? Nice use of what's around you."

"I know," I reply.

I take a second to savor the moment of my victory and his loss.

Then, I stride over to him, and remove his knife.

"A souvenir of our little fight," I say, calmly. Actually, the truth is I don't want to get too addicted to using Neverland's magic, and it'll be nice to have a weapon to hold onto.

"As you rightfully earned," concedes Pan.

_Oh, how did that taste coming out? _I wonder.

I smile, and pick up my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder. I know I didn't get pixie dust for Tinkerbell, but I can do that later. I'm not climbing anything with Pan tied to it.

"Alright, Vin," says Pan. "You win. Now cut me loose."

I stop, and turn to him. _He must be crazy._

"I'm not stupid, Pan," I tell him, as I turn to walk away.

"No," he replies. "You've earned the right to run. Fine. But cut me loose, first."

"Why?" I ask. "So you can just grab me as soon as you're free? Just go back on our deal? I don't think so, Pan."

"Vin, I promise," insists Pan, his voice taking an urgent tone. "I will let you go. Just help me get free first."

The vines tighten around him, and I see that he is struggling.

"Forgive me if I don't trust you," I reply dryly, turning to walk away.

"Vin, please!" he shouts. "Please, help me!"

I pause on the brink of decision.

_He sounds genuinely scared. And he is actually asking me to help him. But, I know him. He wouldn't beg to save his own mother's life. _

_He will only betray me when I help him. This is my chance to get away. I need to take it now. _

I keep walking.

"Vin!" he cries after me, panic now fully in his voice.

"I promise, I'll let you go, if you just help me this once. I won't bother you again, I swear!"

I pause again. _The desperation in his voice…_

_No. I can't trust his promises. Didn't he tell me himself that promises can be broken in Neverland?_

_He's lying. He is only trying to play on my nature, like he is with the Lost Boys. _

I walk on, almost out of the clearing.

"VIN!" he calls, practically screaming. "I'LL LET YOU GO HOME! I'LL RESTORE YOU TO ABBY! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT, BUT PLEASE, LET ME GO!"

I clench my hands into fists.

_How dare he? How dare he use Abby against me? How dare he use my need to escape to get me to do his bidding?_

"You're lying," I reply, my voice surprisingly cool.

I turn to him, and I see the panic on his face. I don't buy it for a second. It's all an act.

"If you truly meant it," I continue, icily, "you would have called me by my real name. I'm Jess, Pan, not Vin."

With that, I turn and walk away.

I hear him rapidly breathing, as if in apprehension, and struggling against the vines, and it sounds like the vine is wrapping itself around him even tighter.

"JESS, PLEASE!" he shrieks.

Of course he's going to try that, now that I've told him.

_But the fear in his voice...the panic._

_No. I can't do it. I won't do it. _

I will not allow him to use my nature against me, because I won a fight fairly. That's probably more than he can ever say for himself.

As I walk away, I hear him whimpering. Whimpering! I think Pan would stab himself before he went so low.

The whimper become cries, but I block them out.

_He is only tricking me. He's only trying to prove he can read me like an open book. That I'm his toy. I'm not in control._

Like the cries of the children, I block out Pan's cries, and walk on.

I can't go after Tink without the dust, so I may as well try to find Bae. I need his thoughts on how to escape.

* * *

Peter had always made it a principle to avoid The Tree.

After he abandoned Rumple, the shadow had told him that the tree had also changed. It now fed on the regret of anyone who touched it.

For a while, he wasn't able to fly, without risking to touch it. Then the vine would emerge, and try to feed off his regret.

When he made the Lost Boys, he would send them to get pixie dust, as The Tree didn't feed off of anyone with little to no regret.

And as much as he denied it, he knew that he was filled to the brim with it.

So, when Vin shoved him into The Tree, he panicked.

Because for The Tree to feed on your regret, it had to draw it out. You had to face every last regret you had ever had.

He had _begged_ her. He, Peter Pan, the king of Neverland, and leader of the Lost Boys, went so low, as to beg a _girl_ to help him.

_Surely_, he had thought, _she would see that it needs to be done. That she has to get me away from The Tree. She knows I would let her go on afterwards._

He had felt The Tree, starting to bring forth the pain. The regret.

And she had walked away.

Then, it began.

The Tree started with his childhood.

Every time he failed to do a chore to his father's satisfaction, every time his mother gave him a disappointed look for getting into trouble, every time his older brother told him that he wasn't doing something right.

Every time he had done something, and had wished he hadn't. It all came to life in his eyes, and came at him full force. All the times he had stolen from someone, and had felt that twinge of remorse that he learned to ignore, came forward, and hit him as if the only thing he had ever felt was regret.

He felt tears streaming down his face, as The Tree forced the memories forward, and devoured them.

Then it moved on to when he was older.

His master, the blacksmith, always shouting when he failed at a task. When his work was not good enough to sell. When he slept late, when he ate too much, when he seemed too unimportant to be seen when his master was making a big sale. When he had stolen his master's most prized possessions and sold them for revenge, and ignored the twinge again. And even worse, when he learned that his master was trying to sell the goods for a good price, so that the money could save his ailing nephew, who was like a son to him.

_A son that he, Malcolm, could never be._

Peter cried out, rather in remorse, pain, or sorrow, he did not know.

He was no longer aware of the vine tightly wrapped around him, nor of The Tree. He just felt the pain, the regret, more magnified than it ever was when it happened.

It ate at his soul, and threatened to devour more.

Then, The Tree moved on to later.

Every scam of Follow-the-Lady, that had robbed some man of his coin, he felt sorrow. Whenever he came home to Esme' and saw her shame and disappointment that the husband she was forced to marry could not make an honest living for her or for Rumple. Every betrayed look on Rumple's face when he saw that his father was nothing more than a coward and thief.

Then…

_No,_ thought Peter, fear flooding him. _No, please, not that! _

Coming home to find Rumple crying on the floor, with his mother dead in bed. She had been so sick, so tired, and he hadn't even noticed anything was out of the ordinary.

_Esme'! Esme', I'm so sorry!_

Esme' had died in front of her son, without her husband to help her move on. She had apparently sent someone to find him, but they couldn't. He moved around too much.

_I'm sorry…_

Peter was vaguely aware of voices around him, but he was too ripped apart to understand what was going on. He could only understand what The Tree was forcing him to experience.

But The Tree was now moving on to the main course.

The regret of leaving his son with some strange women, whom he had only heard to take children on without question. Playing Follow-the-Lady, when he promised to find honest work for his son. Because the scam was so much easier than work. Then, seeing the disappointment on his son's face. Knowing that he was a failure of a father.

Peter cried out in fear, knowing what was next.

The remorse in trying to force his son to climb The Tree. And climbing down.

And letting the shadow take his own son.

He had chosen to give up his only flesh and blood to become young again. The pain it gave him was like ripping out every internal organ, and replacing it with ice.

_Empty, cold, and harsh. _

_I am so, so sorry, Rumple. So sorry…_

He had traded his own son for youth.

The Tree moved on to desert.

He had abducted children and brainwashed them. He was willing to take his own grandchild if he had too. He was forcing them to fight, and kill, and calling it a family. Even now, he was trying to convince an innocent girl to give up the family she had willingly sacrificed herself for, and start a new one with him.

He had thought it would end then and there, but it did just the opposite.

The Tree, not finding anymore regret in his past, went after his ability to regret with a ravenous hunger.

He was filling regret over nothing, sorrow over emptiness. He was nothing more than a shell, emptied of the few things that made him human still. It gnawed at his soul, and swallowed it whole. His entire being became regret, and it was ripping him apart. Remorse for what he had done, what he was doing, and what he could do. Regret for what he was.

_A failure, a liar, a thief, and a coward._

He was a horrible son, a terrible apprentice, a failure of a father, and the loosest definition of a person.

Then, there was nothing.

He felt the vine unravel itself, and let him collapse.

"Pan?"

He was vaguely aware of Felix's voice, along with Rufio, and Marcus.

He realized there were still tears running down his face. He wiped them away before the boys could see, and with an effort, stood up.

"What happened?" he asked, feeling exhaustion replacing the pain.

"We tried to cut you loose, but the vine would not give in," replied Felix. "But, you were crying, moaning, and yelling that you were sorry."

Pan grit his teeth.

He had cried. He had acted like a weakling. It was a good thing it was these boys who were die-hard loyal to him, not the ones who taunted anyone who acted weak.

If they had seen, everything would have fallen apart.

"How did you-," started Rufio, in his deep voice.

"Vin," replied Pan.

_Yes, it had been Vin who did this. It had been her fault he had made a fool of himself. _

_But, was that a problem, really?_

Hesitantly, he thought about Rumple.

He had traded him for youth. He had let his own son go...and he no longer felt remorse.

He thought how he hadn't been there for Esme': _no sorrow. _

Trading his master's goods for revenge: _no regret. _

He felt no regret at all, for any of his deeds. Or for what he was doing.

The Tree had taken away his ability to regret.

Now, all he had was...desire, curiosity, pleasure, anger, glee, and ambition.

He had no remorse. And now that he thought about it, he really didn't need it. Remorse blinded him, made him weak, slowed him down.

And now, he was free of it.

"I begged her, Felix," he said, smiling coldly. "I _begged._ Like a dog. And she walked away."

Felix brandished his club, and looked murderous.

"Where is she?" he snarled. The others did the same.

"Now, now, boys," said Pan, soothingly. "Let's be fair. She didn't know what it would do. She didn't understand what she was doing. If she did, she would have freed me."

How had he gone on all these years with remorse? Now that he was free of it, he saw what a burden it was.

_I should have done this ages ago,_ he thought.

"But she did prove something to me," he muttered, his voice now taking a dangerously low tone. "She proved that she was willing to do anything to get out of her captivity. What's more, she showed me that it's time to stop playing nice."

He had given her a chance. She could have joined of her own free will. She could have tried letting herself in. He had tried being nice. He had offered her a family, a chance to be happy. He may have even let her keep her name. But, no, she insisted that she had to get back to her sister. _Her mistake._

"The game is going to change, boys," he said. "We've been playing nothing but nice with her. Let's show our Lost Girl what happens when you push Peter Pan too far."

* * *

**A/N: **Dunh, DUNH, **DUUUNNNHHH! **

Whoo! So this chapter was super hard to write. I honestly wasn't planning for this chapter to happen, but it sort of all came together when I had a bad case of writer's block. Putting this scene down on paper was a very tough job. Feedback is really appreciated, because Pan-in my opinion-was one of the show's best villains and I want to do him justice.

Anyway, a special thanks to **SkyeShield **and **flagurl1j** for putting this story on alert, and **SkyeShield** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **meguhanu, SoleFaith, Female whovian, SkyeShield, ThePhantomismyLove, Skye, **and all the wonderful guests for your awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my great betas, **Uncommon fairy** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms. **Y'all are amazing; thank you so much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Feedback on Pan's view and his method of finding Jess is especially appreciated. **:) **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Unless I'm adopted, and am actually the heir of ABC, then I don't own OUAT**

* * *

Understandably, it takes me much longer to find Bae's cave again than it did to find the pixie dust tree. This is probably because Bae does not have any magic. He mentioned his father gaining power through a dagger, but I guess that power isn't hereditary.

I am easily lost by the first quarter of a mile, but I refuse to backtrack, and go to the tree, where Pan will beg me to cut him loose. If he's still tied to the tree that is. He may have already freed himself, and is probably contemplating a new way of "breaking" me.

The truth is, I almost went back. I almost helped him.

But I only knew what would happen: he would smirk, grab me, and tell me that he's closer, because he knew my weak spot.

_Not happening. _

I continue to walk, looking for any familiar places.

I don't find any, but I don't stop. I just beat Pan. He's not going to take that lightly.

Especially because a _girl_ beat him.

_Yeah, I'd like to see Wendy Darling try to beat the famous Peter Pan in a fist fight and win. _

The thought cheers me up, somewhat, but I can't get cocky. That'll just get me caught.

Finally, after what feels like several miles of walking, I stop. I'm lost more than ever, and I really need to find Bae. Wandering isn't helping, so I need something more definite. A trail of some sort.

I close my eyes, but think better of it, and open them. If I can imagine things with my eyes open, it will be much more useful in another fight. I would never be able to run out of weapons, and my attackers could get a few nasty surprises when they weren't looking.

So, I imagine, with my eyes open, a trail that can lead me to Bae. Or at least, where his cave is.

I can meet him there, if he's out.

_Except, I can't feel safe there. I can't feel secure. That'll only draw Pan to me, and that's the last thing I need. _

Still though, I imagine a trail of dim, green light, that only I can see, leading me to Bae. Fading wherever I step. But always leading me to Bae. To my surprise, it works.

The trail I was imagining appears before me, and goes on into the forest. Feeling relieved, proud of myself, but still wary, I follow the trail as quickly as possible.

It leads me through some really interesting foliage. Thick trees, that look like redwood. Overhanging moss, which add a sense of intrigue and mystery to the forest. Chutes of bamboo that look like they've been made into fences.

But one thing strikes me as odd: I hear the occasional bird, and maybe a wild animal in the distance. But I never see them. I can't find a single insect, which is really strange for an island like this. It's almost as if the island has life, but it does not want to be found.

My thoughts turn as my trail leads me to Bae's cave.

Excitement runs through me, and I start to run forward.

"Bae!" I call out to my friend. "Bae, it's me!"

Immediately, the door to the cave moves up, and Bae is standing at the entrance, holding a candle in a coconut.

"Jess?" he calls out, uncertainly.

"It's me," I reply. "Don't worry, Pan isn't here. I can't sense him anywhere."

He seems confused by this, and I honestly don't blame him.

"I'll explain inside," I say. "I've just had to trek through what feels like half of Neverland to get here. Plus, there's some stuff I have to talk to you about."

Bae takes it in, nods, and lets me through the door.

His cave remains the same as ever, but I stay a little on edge.

_No feeling of security. It will only get me caught, and put Bae in danger. _

As soon as he's lowered the cave door, Bae walks over to me and hugs me.

This catches me off guard, but I hug him back. It's good to see him, and I am glad Pan didn't hurt him after he took me.

"I didn't know what Pan was going to do to you," he tells me. "I heard you scream, and I called out for you when you let go, but I when I lit the torch, you and Pan weren't here."

I nod, and we part.

"What happened?" he asks, taking in how my appearance has changed since we met.

I'm wearing different clothes, and I'm clean from my swim with the mermaids.

I sigh, and sit down, massaging my feet. I haven't walked that far since a hiking trip Dad took me on when I was twelve.

"You may want to get comfy," I warn. "It's a long story."

He takes a seat, and nods.

"I found out what Pan wants with me," I explain.

"What?" asks Bae, sitting on his heels.

"Apparently I'm a Dreamer," I explain. "I can imagine things on Neverland, and they become real. Look."

I hold out my hand and imagine a candy bar.

I think I'm getting better at it, because it appears in seconds. I look up, expecting Bae to be awed like Hook, or maybe just surprised, like I was when I imagined the first time.

Instead, his face is a mixture of surprise, and distrust.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

I hold out the candy to him, but he just stares at it as if it's a live grenade.

"Go on, take it," I urge him. "I don't really want it."

Bae shakes his head.

I pull my hand back, but not saying anything.

I wanted him to enjoy it. To have something good while we're trapped on this nightmare of an island. But instead, he just looks at me like I've grown a tail.

"I'm sorry," he says. "But I don't trust magic. It's what destroyed my family."

"But wasn't that dark magic?" I ask, remembering his story. "Because I've been able to sense magic since I arrived on Neverland, and trust me, this isn't dark."

"Dark or good, it makes no difference," he replies bitterly. "And Neverland's magic is not good."

"How do you know?" I ask, almost defensively.

_How does he know? Okay, he hates magic. Fine. But how does he know that my new-found abilities, which have helped me a lot, are bad?_

"Wendy thought that Neverland's magic was good," Bae replies, darkly. "Then she came back, and realized that magic was going to destroy her family."

He looks me in the eye, and once again, I'm taken aback by the age in his eyes. I keep forgetting that he's not a boy. Not really. He may not have grown up, but he's at least as old as Hook underneath. It's easier to forget that with him than with Pan.

"That's why I was brought to Neverland, Jess," he continues, not losing his dark tone. "So that they wouldn't lose their family."

I hesitate, considering.

Bae never told me how he got to Neverland, or why.

"You have good reason to hate magic," I concede. "It tore apart two of your families. I don't blame you."

I sigh, hoping he won't lash out at me for what I'm about to say.

"But, Bae, I've been able to sense magic since I arrived on Neverland," I explain. "I felt the dark magic in the shadow and in Pan. I felt the good magic in the pixie dust and in Tinkerbell. And, according to Pan, I am very powerful. And my gut is telling me that this magic is going to be the key to getting us off Neverland. So, if you want, I won't use it around you. But Pan wants me because I'm powerful. He will keep trying to take me. When he does, I _will_ be using magic to defend myself."

Bae considers this, and after a minute of silence, nods.

"I don't see how magic is bad if it's used in self-defense," he agrees.

Then, he cocks his head.

"When did you meet Tinkerbell?" he asks.

I smile, and continue with my story.

But when I reach the part about Hook, Bae cuts me off.

"You met the pirate captain again?" he repeats.

I nod, again confused.

"Yeah, he took me back onto his ship," I answer. "I had to leave when the Lost Boys came for me, but I'm planning to go back when it's safe."

"Don't trust him, Jess," Bae says-no, more demands.

"What?" I ask. "Why not?"

Bae runs his hand through his hair, and looks frustrated.

"Bae, what is it?" I ask, almost afraid of his answer.

"Before my father got the dagger," he explains. "My mother disappeared when I was a child. Papa told me that she had been killed by a pirate."

He turns to me, and I see his hatred, his anger, and pain written all over his face.

"When I got taken to Neverland by the shadow," he continues. "It dropped me into the water. Hook got me out, and hid me from the Lost Boys. For a while, I trusted him. Then, I found a drawing of a woman in Hook's cabin. Jess, that woman was _my mother_."

He waits to let the message sink in.

_No, that's not possible. Hook is a good man. There is no way that he would be the pirate that killed Bae's mother. There's got to be some other explanation. _

_There _needs _to be some other explanation. Because, if Bae is right, then I will lose one of the few friends I have in Neverland. _

"What did you do?" I ask, carefully.

Bae shrugs, as if it doesn't matter. But I can tell that it does.

"I grabbed a sword and told him to face me," he replies. "But then, he disarmed me. He told me that he hadn't killed her, but papa did."

He looks up at me, with tears in his eyes.

"He said that my mother abandoned me, for him. That my father found them, and ripped her heart out. And that he was after my father for revenge. And, Jess, I told him. I told him how to kill my father, because I thought I could trust him. And then, when I tried to leave, he handed me over to the Lost Boys. The pirate betrayed me."

He says the last words with so much hatred and contempt.

Now I see why Bae hates Hook so much.

And, honestly, I don't blame him.

It's one thing to think that a member of your family is killed.

But I know what its like to have a parent betray you.

My own father abandoned me and Abby. And I hate him for it. I hate him for leaving us, when we knew we needed him.

But, even more, I hate the girl he ran off with. I never even found out her name, but I was alright with that. To me, she's just a nameless entity, someone I can hate, because she chose to fall in love with my dad, and make him run off with her, rather than let him stay with her family.

And to Bae, Hook is the same, but more so. Because he betrayed Bae to Pan.

_But, why didn't he betray me, then? _

"I'm sorry, Bae," I murmur. "I had no idea."

"I know," replies Bae, looking at the other side of the cave. "And I don't blame you. But, Jess, if you want to be safe, don't trust Hook. He is so focused on killing my father, he will do anything to stay alive. Even betray people."

I take in his words, and almost feel as betrayed as Bae does.

_But he didn't betray me. He and I arranged it._

_Then again,_ a voice in the back of my mind says, _is that true? _

Pan wanted Hook to betray me, and he did. And this way, I can come back over and over, and every time, Hook will be able to hand me over to Pan, and make it look like we've planned it all.

It's all I can do to stop myself from marching over to Hook right now and confronting him.

I need to focus on the task ahead. The task that Hook distracted me from. I need to get off Neverland.

And so does Bae. After all the shelter and help he has given me, after all he's been through, it would be wrong to just leave him.

"Bae," I say. "I know that you've been hurt. And I understand that pain."

He looks at me, and I can see past the age, past the hurt, in his eyes. And I see the same boy he appears to be.

"But, Bae," I continue. "I promise, no matter what, we will get off this island. And when that does happen, I won't be able to offer you much. But I will be able to offer you a family, if you want it. My mom, Abby, and me. When we get off, I promise, my family will look after you. I won't abandon you."

Bae suddenly sits up, and smiles. I think that is the first time I've seen him smile.

"You promise?" he asks.

I nod.

"I know it won't be much-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Jess, I've gone for so long without a family. If you want me to be part of yours, then... I truly accept it."

With that he gives me another unexpected, but totally understandable, hug.

_I have no idea how long he has gone on, alone. If he knew the Darlings, he must be a century old, at the least. And if he's been alone all that time…_

_I've probably just handed him the holy grail. _

Suddenly, I feel it.

Just vaguely, because it is so far away. But getting closer.

Pan, or his shadow.

Probably the latter, since Pan could just zap himself into the cave.

_Guess I got too comfortable here. _"Bae," I say, standing up. "I need to get out of here."

He gives me a confused look.

"The shadow," I explain. "Pan or it always can find me when I feel safe. One of Pan's mind games on me. Point is, Pan or the shadow are on their way, and I need to leave before they find me."

I have a feeling that if they do catch me, Pan is going to want payback for the fight. I can't have Bae being in the middle of that.

_I don't want to be part of that either. _

"You have to go? Now?" asks Bae, looking crestfallen.

"Hey," I say, gently taking his upper arms, and looking in his eyes. "When I come back, it will be to find an escape. We are going to escape together, Bae. And they say Pan never fails? Well he's going to fail to stop us. Okay?"

He nods, smiling a little, looking reassured.

"I'll be back soon," I say, as I make my way to the tunnel exit. "I promise."

With that, I crawl into the tunnel, and a few minutes later, climb out into the open area.

My first thought: _get away_.

I have lost whatever sense of security I may have had in the cave, so I don't think Pan or the shadow can find me.

But, I still need to go, if either know I'm in this area.

As I start to speed walk, I can almost hear my muscles screaming in protest, at the prospect of more walking.

_Well, if I gain anything from this nightmare, at least I'll be in shape by the end of it. Honestly, I don't think anyone has walked this much since the Fellowship inLord of the Rings._

When I'm far enough away (_hopefully_), I slow down, and start to consider what Bae told me about Hook.

It all makes sense.

Pan being able to find me on Hook's ship, Hook somehow always being reluctant to hand me over, yet he always does because the situation is dire and I don't want him to be hurt.

Really, Hook has played me this entire time.

_So why does it feel wrong? Why do I not feel like I've been betrayed?_

I think of Bae, and what he said about Hook and his mother.

I should be angry at Hook for what he did. Whenever I hear about a parent who has left their kid for someone else, I always feel angry at them and their lover.

But I don't feel that way about Hook. I feel like there's another side that needs to be told.

_Why?_ part of me asks.

_Bae told you his part. He told you exactly what happened with Hook. How Hook betrayed him, took his mother away. You want Bae to be your brother, so why don't you trust his word?_

I'm not sure.

I should be ranting about why I hate and am going to kill Hook, but I don't want to.

_Maybe_, I think, _it's because if I don't, it will mean Pan was right. Pan wants to make it so I won't ever trust Hook. Just him._

_So, why would he set up a con to make Hook seem trustworthy, when that's exactly the opposite of what he wants?_

The situation is way too confusing to solve on my own.

I think, if anything, I need to talk to Hook. Because, at the moment, there is no way I could feel secure on _The Roger_. If Pan finds me, it means that Hook is really a back-stabbing coward. If not, then it means I can trust him.

_And, I can find out what exactly happened between Bae and Hook._

It's not much, but at least it's a plan.

It may end up with me getting captured, it may not, but at least I'll know whether I can trust Hook or not.

I head towards the beach.

As I walk, I think about all that has happened.

I have befriended Bae, and I want to help him get out. To be part of a family.

But, still, that doesn't change one very big issue: I'm not out of Neverland yet. I haven't escaped. I'm still very much Pan's prisoner, and everyone back home is probably worried sick. Abby, Mom, Roxanne, they will be looking for me, but they can't find me.

And all I want to do is get out of here. Go home.

_Dang it, I'm starting to cry._

Wiping my eyes, I arrive at the beach, and I can see The Roger at a distance.

Well, here's another issue: _how do I get there?_

I could get some pixie dust, sure, but I don't want to risk Pan finding me. I could ask the mermaids for a lift, but I wouldn't trust those things as far as I could throw them. And I wouldn't be able to throw them very far.

I stand on the beach, trying to figure out this new problem.

_If only I had a boat…_

I pause, then slap myself on the forehead.

_I am a total idiot._

Reaching out my hand, I imagine a rowboat.

It takes a minute or so, because I haven't imagined anything this large before, but eventually a satisfactory rowboat with oars sits on the shore in front of me.

Smiling slightly, I push it out and climb in.

It takes me a little while to figure out the oars, but before long, I'm paddling the boat towards the Roger, and possibly my inevitable capture.

_Well, what's life without risks?_

It takes me awhile to row to the ship, but at least my legs are getting a rest.

When I finally do reach the ship, there's a ladder already waiting for me.

Instinctively, I try to sense if Pan or the shadow is present. Finding neither, I climb aboard.

Hook is waiting for me on the deck, looking relieved.

_Don't be so quick to trust him,_ I remind myself. _He may turn on you like he did to Bae._

"Lass!" Hook exclaims, as if he was holding his breath and did not know it.

Without warning, he encompasses me in a relieved hug.

Tonight must be my night for unexpected hugs.

"Oh, thank the gods!" he mutters. "I thought they truly had you."

While I'm tempted to return the hug, I don't. I need to be careful with Hook. If he truly is working for Pan, I cannot allow myself to get close to him.

Hook seems to realize that something is wrong, because he steps away, and looks me up and down, as if checking for injuries.

I avoid his concerned gaze, and gently pull away.

"I'm fine," I assure him, brushing his hand and hook away.

Hook meets my eyes, and catches my wary look, before I avoid his gaze again.

_Don't get close,_ I tell myself.

"Lass," Hook says in a questioning voice, "what is it?"

_How should I approach this? _

_Just tell him upfront what happened and confront him? Act cold and distant and let him guess?_

"C-Can I trust you, Hook?" I ask, cursing myself for letting my voice tremble.

He gives me a look that tells me he is taken aback by my question.

"Of course you can, lass," he replies, sounding sincere. "What makes you say otherwise?"

I cannot tell him about Bae, in case my friend is right about him. If he is, Hook could betray Bae to Pan.

"Logic," I answer, half-lying. "It makes too much sense. You being able to find me those times, each one with Pan finding me. You, always reluctant to hand me over. For all I know, you are working for Pan, and just pretending to be my friend to help capture me when-whenever I run."

I stumble at the last part, but do my best not to show how it hurts.

I look at him, and his expression is a mix between confusion, and...hurt.

I want to trust him so badly. I want to believe that he is really my friend.

_He and Bae are the only ones who I trust. Who I want to trust. And if he, one of my only friends on Neverland is a traitor…_

_I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to trust anyone again. Except, perhaps, Bae._

"There's more to this, isn't there, lass?" he asks.

He's perceptive.

_Yes, there is, but I can't tell him about Bae._

"Lass, what did Pan say about me that-"

"It wasn't Pan," I interject, immediately cursing myself for speaking.

_It's true though. I would not believe what Bae has told me if it had come from Pan. _

_But now, he knows that I've talked to someone else on the island. _

I don't want to reveal that I've met Bae...but I just need to know.

_I have to know if he is like my father. If he convinced Bae's mother to run off with him. If he used and betrayed Bae. And if he's doing the same with me._

"Is it true?" I murmur.

I see his questioning look, and I know I have to explain.

_Forgive me, Bae. _

"Did you run away with…with a boy's mother, and betray the boy to Pan?" I ask, hoping he will think that it was another Lost Boy who told me, or someone else.

Hook's eyes grow wide as he realizes what I'm talking about. Who I'm talking about.

"You...you mean Baelfire?" he asks.

I try to figure out what he's feeling with his voice, but all I can hear is pain and sorrow.

I nod, not daring to meet his eyes.

"Did-did he tell you that, or did another Lost One?" he asks.

I don't answer immediately, but he takes my hesitation as confirmation.

"Is he alright?" he asks, almost eagerly. "Is he safe?"

His questions catch me off guard, and I only look at him, stunned.

Bae has given me the impression that Hook does not care for him. Yet, right now, it would seem the opposite.

"I don't understand," I murmur. "You care about him?"

"Ever since they took him," he replies.

His expression, his voice, his eyes….

I don't doubt of his honesty. _But, even so..._

"How did they take him?" I ask.

At this, he turns away.

_Yes, there it is. The truth_.

"He was right about you," I whisper, accusation entering my voice. "You really did betray him."

Hook sighs, and I see the guilt spread across his features.

"I didn't want to," he mutters. "I was going to keep him safe here, on the Roger. But then-"

"Then he found out about his mother," I interject, crossing my arms. "Yes, he told me about that."

Hook looks back at me, and I can see longing in his eyes. He wants to tell me his side of the story. He wants me to understand why he did what he has done.

_I may still be in danger,_ I tell myself. _He may turn on me and call over Pan. _

_But_ I _want to know myself._ I _want to understand, and I want to _trust _him. _

I'm staying to let him explain, but if I get one inkling of Pan or the shadow nearby, I'm out of here.

"Milah was a...a wonderful person," he starts. "She was full of life, of spirit, of fire."

He stops, and glances at me, a hint of a smile crossing his features.

"Kind of like you, actually," he adds.

I try to control myself, but I feel a small smile coming onto my face also.

"Anyhow," he continues. "She was married to the town coward. It had been an arranged marriage, and had happened before he left for war. No parent would shame their daughter by marrying her to a coward like that."

"Sometimes they can't do anything about it," I mutter, thinking of how my grandparents told Mom that my dad was not going to make a good husband, yet she married him anyway.

Hook shrugs, but goes on.

"The only reason she stayed with him was for Baelfire. He was the only one who she cared about. But then, we met, and she was starting to feel like a caged animal. She wanted to get out of her marriage so badly, that she couldn't stand it anymore. She begged me to take her away."

"And leave her son?!" I exclaim, feeling anger boiling within me.

It sounds like what the girl who took my dad away did. Looked for someone attractive, helped them "escape" a supposedly unhappy life, and helped them to abandon their children who needed them.

"She didn't want too!" snaps Hook.

I flinch, startled at his reply. I know I haven't known Hook very long, but he has never snapped at me like that before.

It is kind of my fault, pushing him like that, but it still hurts. Hook must also see the hurt, because he immediately apologizes. I assure him it's alright, and ask him to continue.

_If I want to trust him, I need to know the entire story. _

He sighs, but continues the story.

"She didn't want to leave Balefire," he explains. "She wanted to take him with her. But time was running out, and her husband found out that she was missing before she could return to Bae. We weren't sure what would happen if her husband found her, trying to take Bae from him."

He looks on, as if lost in memories.

"We stayed together for years," he murmurs. "One adventure after another. I had so much to show her, so much to teach her about the sea. But we always tried to find Bae, someway, somehow.

We tried sailing into port, but were prevented because of the Ogre Wars. We tried the next year, but were again blocked. The next year, Milah…"

He cuts off, and raises a hand to his mouth, repressing a sound. Like a sob. In his eyes, I see tears pooling.

"Hook?" I ask, gently touching his shoulder.

He starts, as if remembering I'm here.

He turns to me, and I see a tear escaping his eye, and running down his cheek.

"She got pregnant," he murmurs. "With our child. We agreed when we found out that we had to find Bae again. He had to know his little brother or sister. But, on the way there, we got caught up in a storm. I told her to stay below decks, but she thought she heard me screaming. She ran out to the deck. A wave came, knocked her down. She made it, but the baby…"

He doesn't need to continue.

_It was a miscarriage. The baby didn't make it. _

"Oh, Hook," I whisper, feeling my heart plunge. "I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head, acknowledging that it's alright, but I see the pain in his eyes.

"After that," he goes on, even though he doesn't have to, "Milah withdrew into herself for a while. I tried to find Bae, but she insisted that she could not face him. That she was not meant to be a mother. For about a year, she refused to leave the cabin, but just stayed, in silence.

"But, she came back to me, and insisted again that we needed to find her son again. Yet, when we went back to find him, we found out that her husband, Rumpelstiltskin, was now the Dark One. And Bae was a prisoner in his own home. We tried to find the lad, and rescue him, but there was no way to get around the Dark One's magic. Then we learned that Bae had escaped, to a realm without magic. We could not follow.

"Then, a few years later, we found a bean, that could make a portal between realms. What's more, the Dark One was looking for , he found me, and remembered me. He asked me about Milah, and I told him she was dead, to protect her. But, then he made me fight him, and she followed us. She stopped him, and gave him the bean.

And then…"

Again, he stops, and the look he gives me is one of agony.

"He ripped out her heart," I finish, remembering Bae's tale. "And crushed it in front of you."

Hook nods, and I know, in my heart, that his story is true.

"Then you came into Neverland, to find a way to kill him," I continue, connecting the pieces. "But instead, you met Bae."

_And betrayed him. He betrayed the son of the woman he loved. _

"Bae insisted that he had to leave," he says. "And I knew as soon as he reached Neverland, the Lost Ones would be on him. And on me. But I was no good at helping him or killing the Dark One, dead. So, I handed him over."

He looks me in the eyes, with such intensity that no man can act.

"I regretted it the moment I did it," he says. "But I swore to myself that I would rescue Milah's boy as soon as I found a way off this island. And, Jess, I want to do the same with you. I want to help both of you off the island, away from Pan, and the Lost Ones."

He says this, and I know that I can trust him.

He truly means what he is saying. He wants to help Bae, and he wants to help me.

_Even if Bae does not trust him, I do. And that can make all the difference here. _

_But I shouldn't have had to worry about trusting him. I shouldn't have even met him. I shouldn't be here._

"It's not about getting off the island," I murmur. "I just want to go home."

Hook gently wraps me in another hug, and this time I respond to it.

"I know, lass," he whispers, soothingly. "I know."

For a second, I let him comfort me. I treasure this shred of affection that is so rare in Neverland, even though I always seem able to find it with Hook.

For a moment, I let myself feel safe.

Big mistake.

I immediately feel the dark, twisted feeling, and I sense it coming closer.

"I have to go," I say, pulling out of his embrace.

He gives me a look of surprise.

"Pan or the shadow," I explain hastily. "I can sense them coming. I need to go before they find me and realize that I still trust you."

To my surprise, he understands immediately, and leads me back to my raft.

"Go to the west side of the island," he advises me, as I start to descend into my boat. "It may take longer, but not many Lost Ones patrol that corner. You should be able to find shelter there. Don't go east, though. They like that area for some reason."

I nod, and climb into my boat.

I look up at him one more time.

"Thank you," I say, as I row away.

"Thank me when you are safe," he orders.

I give him a mock salute, and start to row in the direction he advised.

As I go, I my sixth sense tells me that the shadow or Pan are not following me. Good, that means I'm getting away.

By the time I reach the western area, my arms are as sore as my legs. I try to tell myself that sore muscles are a good thing, but the idea of failing in a fight because of them blots out any positive thought.

_Which is a shame. I could use a happy thought or two. _

I push the boat out to sea, just so no one can use it. Maybe it will even capsize, and Pan will think I went down with it.

With a sense of déjà vu, I prepare to disappear into the jungle, find a decent hiding place, and wait out the next few days, until I feel like I can make a trip to Bae's cave or The Roger. Probably not the Pixie Dust tree, though. If Pan caught me once, he can do it again.

Until then, though, I need to start to think of someway off the island. I've dodged Pan for so long, I've been distracted from the real goal: _getting back home. _

_Which may actually have been Pan's plan, distracting me from the true goal. If it was, then it's pretty -._

"Hello?"

I freeze at the sound of the voice.

I thought Hook said this area was pretty isolated of Lost Boys.

"Hello?"

There it is again. A child's voice calling out, as if lost.

But why would a young child be in this area? Did maybe one of the younger boys escape?

"Somebody? Anybody? Hello?"

_Wait. _

I feel my blood freeze as I recognize the voice.

_No, no that's not possible. It has to be Pan, tricking me. _

But I can't sense him or the shadow nearby.

"Jess? Somebody? Is anyone here?"

_No. NO!_

I take off running towards the voice, the knife I took from Pan, drawn.

_She can't be here. There's no way she could be here!_

_If Pan took her and brought her here…_

I rush out of the cover of the jungle, and back out on the beach, where the voice is coming from.

A small figure, standing on the beach, in pale purple pajamas hears me and turns around in shock.

She sees me, recognizes me, and her eyes widen.

"Jess?" she murmurs, as if she doesn't believe what she sees.

I know exactly how she feels.

"Abby?"

* * *

**A/N**: How's _that _for a cliffhanger?

Wow. So this chapter took me forever to write. It's a lot longer than the last few, but it was certainly fun.

On Hook's story of him and Milah: I always wondered what would happen if Hook and Milah had a child. Considering how much Hook loved her, I felt like they would have at least considered children. We know they wanted Bae to join them, but I think they would have wanted kids of their own as well. Milah's baby was my interpretation of why they didn't have any.

A special thanks to **BarbieHale, ThePhantomismyLove, redcatlover22, ughstilinski, **and **ImpossibleSenseinNonsense** for putting this story on alert, and to **Violet daughter of Percabeth** and **ughstilinski **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **SkyeShield, ThePhantomismyLove, Female whovian, flagurl1j, scorpiongirl92, FurySaidtoaMouse, Dreamer-Girl96, **and **meguhanu **for your great reviews! And, of course, thanks to my super beta-readers, **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms, **and** Uncommon fairy**. Y'all are wonderful, and you keep my computer running!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Bae and Hook are especially appreciated. **:)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Me? Invent OUAT? Funny. **

* * *

I act on my first instinct. I drop my knife, and run to her. I have her in a hug in less than five seconds.

"Jess," she whispers, sounding in amazement, as she hugs me back. "Is it really you?"

I simply nod, and reply, "Yeah, Abby. It's me."

I set her down, and suddenly, I feel a spike of fear inside me.

"Abby, how did you get here?" I ask warily.  
_If Pan brought her here, so he could use her against me, I will kill him_ _with my own two hands. Slowly, and painfully._

"Mom told me to go to sleep," she replies. "I told her I didn't want to, but she told me I needed to rest. I was thinking of you as I was laying down and starting to fall asleep, and then I was here."

She doesn't show any of the fear that she had when she was taken by the shadow. He could have taken her while she was asleep, but I doubt that it could do that without waking her up.

"How is that possible?" I murmur to myself.

"You did it to," she points out. "When you came to rescue me, remember?"

_That's right._

I did come to Neverland in a dream, and it was if I was physically present. But that was because I was a Dreamer. Then again, Abby is my sister. She could also be a Dreamer as well.

A distant howl sets my mind back on track.

I can think about this later. Right now, I have to keep Abby safe.

"Okay," I tell her, taking my hand. "We got to get out of here, Abby. Someone told me the Lost Boys don't come here that often, but we still should hide."

I lead her into the jungle, picking up my knife as we go. I have no idea where we're going, but it seems this area is alright. At the very least, Hook was correct; there isn't a Lost Boy in sight, or to be heard.

I hear her moan and I turn around.

"What is it?" I ask.

She looks down at the ground, and at her bare feet. At least she knows to be quiet.

"Is the ground hurting your feet?" I ask, softly.

I sigh, kind of wishing she could just endure it. It would make this whole thing easier. But, I say nothing. I just imagine a pair of shoes on her feet.

She gasps when they appear.

"Jess-," she starts in an awed whisper.

"No time," I mutter, hoping she understands the seriousness of the situation. If Pan finds her, I know he will use her against me. And if she is a Dreamer, then he will want her even more. I cannot let him get his hands on her.

He already took her once, and he was perfectly fine with keeping her his prisoner if I wasn't as powerful as he needed.

The thought scares me, actually. I would have lost my sister if I hadn't been born a little bit stronger as a Dreamer. Which makes me wonder, again, what exactly Pan plans are for me, if he needed an extremely powerful Dreamer.

I continue to lead her through the foliage, even though my muscles are practically screaming for me to stop.

_I can't stop. If I do, Pan may try to take her._

I lose track of time again, and after a while I hear Abby panting.

_Oh, right. She isn't used to walking this much, and she hasn't done well with hikes before this._

"Jess," Abby whispers, after a long time of walking in silence. "Can we stop?"

I look around, listening for the sound of any Lost Boys, or any other signs of disturbance.

Nothing.

"Sure," I reply, and she sits down on a fallen log. I sit beside her.

As much as I'm afraid for her, I have to admit, I'm glad she's here. I thought I would have to go through this entire place, without seeing her again. And after so long of just focusing on getting away, so I could find her and Roxanne, and even Mom again, it feels good to know that she is actually safe in bed. Pan could still hurt her in her dream, so I have to look out for her. But in the end, she still is safe.

"How's Mom?" I ask her.

All this time, I've thought about escaping and getting back to them, but I never really considered how Mom is feeling.

_She probably threw herself further into her work,_ I think bitterly. _It's easier for her to do that than be there for those who need her. _

"I told her what happened," replies Abby, seriously. "She doesn't believe me. She told me to stop making up stories and tell her what really happened. When I told her it _was_ what happened, she called the police, and had them come look for you. I keep on telling them what happened, Jess, but nobody believes me."

_Of course they wouldn't. Who would?_

A girl getting carried off to a magical land by an evil shadow is much harder to believe than the idea that the girl ran away or got kidnapped by some pervert at the very least. They'll probably say that Abby witnessed something traumatizing, and her mind misinterpreted it, or whatever psychological junk they use these days to say "she's wrong."

"And Mom?" I ask. "Is she okay?"

Abby nods.

"She's worried, but she's alright," she says. "But I heard her tell the police that she thinks Dad may have taken you."

_Not a bad theory, except for the fact that I doubt that Dad even remembers my name, much less love me enough to kidnap me._

"Jess, how were you able to make my shoes?" asks Abby.

I smile and I look at her.

"Apparently, I'm a Dreamer," I explain. "Which means that I can think of anything here in Neverland, and it will appear."

Abby's eyes light up.

"You have magic?" she asks. "Like a fairy?"

I'm tempted to bring up Tinkerbell, but I don't. I don't want her to realize that the Tinkerbell she likes from Peter Pan is really a broken ex-fairy, with no wings and untapped potential.

"Yeah," I say. "Like a fairy."

"Cool!" she says.

I smile, but hope she doesn't get any hopeful ideas. Abby with the ability to create whatever she wants..._oh, dear._ She's as sweet as can be right now, but at times when she feels greedy, she can be a real brat.

Actually, for the longest time, she _was_ a brat. She was spoiled, and whiny, and I would always have to sleepover at Roxanne's place, because if she stayed at our house, Abby would insist on staying up late with us, and hanging out with Rox. And if we tried to get her to leave us alone, she'd rant about how we never let her do anything.

But after Dad left, I knew I couldn't let Abby deal with it alone. She was only six, for crying out loud. So, I started reading Narnia to her, and it took off from there.

"Yeah, it is kind of cool," I agree. "And useful. I don't think I've been hungry since I found out what I can do."

She giggles, and we stand up and start to walk on again.

"So, what did the police do?" I ask, idly curious.

"They were at the house all night, which was why I couldn't sleep," explains Abby.

I stop dead in my tracks.

"What?" I whisper.

_That's impossible._

"How long has it been since I was taken?" I ask her, fearing the answer.

"The clock said three when Mom sent me to bed," she replies, looking confused.

I blink, taken aback by this information.

Pan said that time stands still in Neverland, and Bae said it works differently. But I never expected it to be like this.

I know I've been here for at least three days. Maybe four. But less than _twelve_ hours?

"Jess? Are you okay?" asks Abby.

I nod, and we keep on walking.

"It just feels like it's been much longer," I reply.

_Much, much longer._

"How did you escape Pan?" she asks

Yeah, she'd want to know about that wouldn't she?

I smile and begin.

"Well, the shadow took me to the island, and dropped me on the ground. A boy named Felix tried to take me to Pan, but I knocked him out when I pretended to be going to the bathroom."

She laughs, and I smile at the memory.

As I continue the story, I realize that I may not feel secure, or safe. But I feel what Pan never intended me to feel: happy. My sister is here. I can be with her. And then, when she wakes up, I can find a way back to her.

So, I have hope. Therefore, I can be happy.

She listens as if I'm telling her a fairy tale, or reading her a book. She doesn't realize how Pan has been toying with me, mentally and emotionally. She just sees the story in which I'm the young heroine fighting an evil villain and winning. Not as the situation truly is.

But, I don't have the heart to tell her otherwise. I don't need her to worry about me even more. It's bad enough that she and Mom are worried about me because I'm gone. I don't want them to worry that I may be falling in Pan's games.

When I finally finish, we stop to rest again.

"So, Captain Hook, Tinkerbell, Wendy, they're all real?" asks Abby.

I smile and nod.

"Pretty amazing, isn't it?"

She grins back, and nods.

Then she looks up at me, this time more shyly.

"Jess," she says hesitantly, and for a moment I'm reminded of the moment when the Lost Boys asked me to read to them.

"Could we read more of _The Silver Chair_?"

I don't respond immediately. On the one hand, I may get too comfortable, and Pan could find me again, and Abby as well. But, then again, I may not see my sister for awhile. I may escape before she visits again, but I don't know if I will.

And I can't let Pan control me. Last time I checked, I control my decisions, not Pan. If he wants to come and take me, then that's his problem. I will not let my fear of him scare me off.

_Then again_, a voice in the back of my mind says, _is it that you're afraid of him, or afraid that you will have to face the younger Lost Boys again? The ones who want you to be their sister?_

"Alright," I reply.

Like I did the first time I imagined something, I imagine a copy of the book.

She curls up next to me, and I continue the story.

With a little luck, we may be able to finish the book tonight.

Or, tonight for her. For me, it could be days or hours, or just seconds before the next dawn.

_Not that that sort of time matters. My baby sister is back with me._

The only time that matters is how much I have with her until she wakes up.

* * *

Peter felt a surge of glee and grinned.

No, he couldn't get too eager. The first part of the plan had only worked. If he celebrated at the beginning, he could get cocky and lose his edge. And he couldn't have that. Not when he was the one controlling the situation. Even if Vin thought that she was.

He stood in front of the fire, surrounded by the Lost Boys who had cut him free from the Tree. The other Lost Boys were gathered around a couple of trees, watching two scale the trees.

"And you're sure?" he asked the scout, Mat. "You are absolutely sure you saw Vin and her little sister?"

Mat nodded eagerly. Really pleasing Peter was a reward itself in many of the Lost Boys' minds, but Peter always made sure that they got something else for their good work. If Mat was right, Peter was going to have to give him a new bow.

If the information is correct, Peter thought absently, it's worth it.

"They didn't see me," said Mat. "But I saw them. Her and the little girl. You told us to report back if we found her, so I came straight back."

He had a proud grin on his face as he finished. Peter nodded, and gave him a genuine smile.

"Go and enjoy yourself, Mat," he said, waving his hand towards the other boys. "Expect a surprise later."

Mat ran off, in forgetting to thank Peter in his excitement. Not that it really bothered Peter. He had bigger things to think about.

"Is the girl going to be a problem?" asked Felix, interrupting his thoughts.

"Not at all," Peter replied. "She's going to be our little helper."

He could see the confusion on the his boys' faces.

"Think," he said. "What is the one think Vin is fighting to get back too? Her sister. Well, now she has her sister. She'll have hope again. She will try even harder to get back."

"And you'll step in and separate them indefinitely," finished Felix, starting to catch on to what Peter was doing.

"It will be a blow to Vin that she will never see coming," Peter said, grinning at the thought. "And the only way to heal from it will be to _move on_. Too forget about her sister. To come to us."

The boys nodded, now fully understanding the plan.

"But how did the girl even get here?" asked Marcus.

"Simple," Pan replied. "I _let_ her in. Vin had subconciously made a barrier that kept her sister out of Neverland when she was brought here. I simply lowered it. The child's power as a Dreamer did the rest."

"How is it possible, though?" asked Rufio. "Two Dreamers in one family."

"Yes, the odds were unlikely," admitted Peter. "But not surprising. Dreamers are the descendents of fairies, remember. I suspect that a fairy from the Enchanted Forest had a bastard child who she sent into the land without magic. Over the centuries, the child's magic would be passed down, and become Dreamer's magic."

That was his theory, anyway. It would explain how Vin was able to see events in the Enchanted Forest; her blood was connected to that realm, and with her power, she could easily dream about the forest rather than Neverland. The only thing was she saw it as dreams. Dreams that she was recorded, thinking they were a story for her to write.

"The little girl is her sister. Naturally, she'd be a Dreamer as well. Vin has been helping the girl's imagination grow for a while by reading to her. Also, the girl is extremely innocent. She'd be able to reach the western shore without a problem."

That may be his only obstacle. Neverland was a motherload of magic. It was divided North, East, South, and West, like any other place, but it attracted people differently.

The Eastern area seemed to attract the most courageous, which was why the Lost Boys would set up camp there often. The Southern area attracted those boys who believed that the Lost Boys were a family.

No one was quite sure what the Northern attracted, just that none of the boys were as drawn to it as any of the other corners.

But the Western area, that attracted the innocent. Peter never went there, even when he gave up Rumple. None of the other Lost Boys did either. Only the younger boys were truly drawn to that part of the island. The ones who would most likely ally with Vin in escaping.

Peter would have to change that.

He sighed, and walked away from the camp. As expected, the other boys followed.

"So, how are we playing this?" asked Marcus. "By using the little girl as leverage?"

"Then Vin would fight us even more," Peter replied. "Don't you see? We've been trying to convince Vin that the best place for her is with us. But she refuses to see it, because she wants to be with her family. We can't use that family against her. We can only use the fact that Abby is in the land without magic, and Vin is in Neverland. The funny thing is: when they _are_ separated, Vin will have done it all herself."

The boys were silent, probably considering what he was saying.

He used the silence to think of his past. He had been doing it for a while, testing out the power of the Tree. It had done its work well. He could look back on every aspect of his life, and not feel any regret. Now, he felt nothing if he did something he hadn't wanted to do. It was great.

It could be the way to break Vin; use her regret against her.

She had, after all, abandoned the younger Lost Boys to their fears. She had left him tied to the Tree. She was bound to be full of remorse.

But, no. That would be pushing her too far. He wanted her to give him loyalty, not have her wallow in grief and guilt.

"What do you mean she's going to do it all herself?" asked Rufio. "I thought that the whole point we were trying to catch her was so _you_ could convince her to join ud."

Peter shook his head. The Tree had taught him so much besides taking his regret.

"Even when I was at my most desperate moment," he said, "she abandoned me. Even if I begged her to stay, she wouldn't join us. She may linger, but when the time was right, she'd run again. No, all Vin needs is a little push here and there. Then she will collapse on herself, and be ours."

He was already mapping it out in his head. The little girl who Vin thought to be a setback for him, was truly an advantage.

It would take time. A lot of time. But it could be done. He had time.

And in the mean time, there was something he had to do with the younger boys. He knew that if any found Vin, she'd convince them to come with her. He couldn't have that. He needed some other leverage to bring them on his side.

He could use that to occupy his time until the little girl was gone.

"But the question is if she'll give in in time," pointed out Rufio. "If she doesn't give in before the sand runs out…"

"Then we take it by force," finished Peter. "It won't be as potent, but it will work. Trust me, I have no intention of dying. If Vin won't play her part, we will make her play it."

But it would not come to that. He knew it would not.

He had plenty of time in the hourglass. Vin would not be able to hold out that long. She would crumble, and he would use the pieces as needed.

"I'm confused," insisted Marcus. "I thought it was a The Heart of the Truest Belie-."

"Honestly, pay attention," snapped Felix, rolling his eyes. "Yes, he needs The Heart of the Truest Believer, but we don't know how long it will be until he finds it. If he doesn't find the heart in time, a Dreamer's heart can be a temporary replacement."

Well, at least Peter knew which of his boys were paying attention when he told them these things. He supposed he couldn't blame Marcus. Some of his boys had thick skulls, but he was pretty sure that Marcus didn't have a skull at all.

"Won't that kill her, though?" pointed out Marcus. "Why bother with all of this if we're just going to kill her?"

"She may not have to die, in the end," Peter replied, speaking slowly so the idiot would not miss a word. "If we have The Heart of the Truest Believer within our grasp, we can use her heart to buy us time, then take the heart we truly need before she dies. If we can, she lives."

It was the truth. When it came down to it, Vin was no more than a weapon until the time came. And when the time came, she was nothing but a fail-safe. But, it would be a shame to see so much power go to waste, especially if it was in Peter's control. That was why he hoped to have the heart he really needed.

Besides, he liked playing with her. It was fun.

"For now, we wait," he ordered. "Until the time comes, we hold back."

With his final commands given, he went back to the camp, heading to the group of younger boys.

He wasn't afraid. He would get Vin's heart when the time came. Peter Pan never failed, and he would not fail with her.

* * *

Abby stirs as if something is wrong.

She sits up, and looks around.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, allowing the book to disappear. We finished it a while ago, and were just rereading our favorite parts.

"I...I think I hear Mom," she replies, looking around warily. "But, she can't be here, can she?"

_No, she can't. From what I can tell, Hook and his crew are the only adults in Neverland. Unless you count Tinkerbell, who is magical._

Abby shakes her head, as if trying to get something out of it.

Then, I catch it. A shimmer to her.

Slowly, she is fading. Because she is leaving Neverland, and waking up.

"I think Mom's trying to wake you up," I tell her, touching her gently. My hand slips through her, as she becomes more transparent.

She looks up at me, almost in horror.

"But I don't want to go," she insists. "I don't want to leave. I just found you, Jess!"

"I know," I tell her, trying to remain calm.

_I don't want her to go either. I just found my sister, and I'm about to lose her again? It's unfair._

"But don't worry," I say, trying to reassure her. "I'll either be here when you come back tomorrow night, or I'll be back with you by the time you're going to bed."

She smiles a little, and tries to hug me, but her arms just pass through me.

"I'm coming back, Jess," she says. "I promise."

"I know you will," I reply. "I love you, Abby."

"I love you too."

With that, she's gone.

I stand up, and stretch. I don't know how long we were here, but it certainly was long enough for me to let my guard down, and feel safe. To feel secure. And yet neither Pan nor the shadow have appeared. Perhaps that's a good thing. Maybe Pan has learned to leave me alone for a little while.

I think of Abby's promise to return. I know she'll keep her promise. It's about time I kept mine, and found a way to get off Neverland.

Without a second thought, I make a trail to find Bae's cave. I don't care if I feel safe or not now. I control my fate, not Pan. If I want to feel a little bit safe while he hunts me down, then I will do so.

Smiling to myself, I follow the trail. I see the sky, in the east, starting to glow red with a new dawn. A new day.

I have found my sister again. And I'm going to find her again.

And not even Peter Pan is going to stop me.

** END OF PART ONE**

* * *

**A/N: **Hey y'all! Me again.

This chapter had so many feels to it, I just wanted to get up and hug _my_ sisters after writing it. If you want to do the same, I suggest you do. The look of confusion is kind of amusing.

Anyway, thank you **GleekGirl13, LittleMissKaizoku, thelostglader, Regalgal1524, **and **trickst37-97** for putting this story on alert, and **GleekGirl13, Regalgal1524, **and **thelostglader** for favoriting it. Also, a special thanks to **Dreamer-Girl96, Regalgal1524, **and **meguhanu **for your awesome reviews. And, thank you to my great betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms. **Y'all are amazing! Y'all are wonderful!

Also, I think it is important to wish Batman a happy 75th birthday. He is the one who reminds us you don't need powers to be a superhero. Just lots of excessive training, billions of dollars, and a lot of cool toys.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! My computer appreciates it! **:)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own-oh, forget it!**

* * *

Even though it feels like it has been months since I was taken, it has been only a little more than three weeks. At least, that's what Abby said at her last visit.

And, surprisingly, it has been alright.

Pan has left me alone, even when I feel secure, or safe. I don't know why. Probably because he's planning something. I'm wary of this, but I still embrace this time when I can feel safe without Peter Pan trying to interfere with my life.

In the time I've been here, I've made a general map of Neverland, and have discovered that the Lost Boys usually keep to the East and maybe Southern parts of the island. They rarely travel to the North or West.

So, I stay in the North and Western parts.

About every third day or so, I visit Bae or Hook, and sometimes even Tinkerbell. I was even able get Tinkerbell some Pixie Dust, but she refused to believe that it could work. I was disappointed, because I knew she still had magic somewhere within her, but she kept the dust, just in case, which is a small comfort.

But I still haven't forgotten my promise to Abby. Bae and I work together in the time I visit to find ways off the island. I think at some points, we've stretched my ability to imagine to a breaking point.

It didn't take us long to realize that the bigger or more complex something was, the more likely it was to fall apart.

Staircases that we can climb and come back down in our realm fall to pieces when we are up the third step or so. Bridges from Neverland to home shatter at our touch. Boats to carry us home are splinters before we even get in.

After several failed trials, we agree to stick to the simple things in finding a way home.

Bae suggests finding someway to make the shadow take us home, but we have no idea how to trap the thing, much less make it take us home. He and I are both working on thinking of a way, but so far, nothing.

My days alone are also alright, even if a little lonely.

I spend my time, when I'm not brainstorming how to escape, finding a decent place to camp. The areas I stay in are actually quite beautiful, and unlike the rest of the island, lacks the sense of danger just around the corner. It just feels safe and beautiful.

Maybe this is the area that the children visit in their sleep.

I _have_ seen a couple other children, wandering around Neverland in their dreams. Most of them are young, about Abby's age. Part of me wants to approach them, but another part of me tells me that it is best that I keep my distance.

Sometimes, at night, I'll watch over those children when they are in Neverland, just to be sure that they are not hurt, or that Pan doesn't try to take them.

If no children come, then I usually spend my time reading, or imagining a notebook, with my story written in it, so that I can pick up where I left off, and write some more. It does help to pass the time, and I feel like the story is actually progressing. Snow White has taken the potion to make her forget Charming, and now she's full of hate. Maybe, by the time I get out of here, I'll be done.

But, still, every night I put everything down, and go to the Western shore to look for Abby. She appears maybe every three or four days, sometimes even two days, but at least she comes. When she does, we spend whatever time we can together.

Sometimes we read, sometimes I show her a particularly nice spot I've found, sometimes I even take her to Bae's cave.

Those visits are always a treat for her.

She loves Bae, especially after I told her that Bae would stay with us after we escaped. Bae also loves her, and will tell her stories of his time with the Darlings, or when he first arrived on Neverland. But never about his first home, with his father. I think it's still too painful for him.

I still haven't told him about my trust of Hook. I'm not sure how he'll take it, and I'm not sure how to tell him.

_Yeah, Bae, I've just decided to go ahead and trust Hook, who betrayed you and ran away with your mom, even though you told me not too._

Yeah, that will go over great.

Luckily, tonight, I don't have to worry about telling him. Abby should be coming tonight or tomorrow night, and I want her to meet Hook. I don't know why. I guess that if she's going to see all Neverland while I'm here, it seems only right to show her everyone from the Peter Pan story.

I've rested all day, so I can stay awake for tonight. On these nights, I want to be fully awake to spend time with Abby.

She is really taken by the beauty of Neverland, even if she can get a little bossy at times about where to go. But, as I constantly remind her, I'm the one who knows where to go. If we let her lead, we'll probably end up caught by Pan. Or chopped to pieces by some unknown cannibal.

When I told her the last part, her face curled up and she told me I was disgusting. It was hilarious.

Feeling it's about time, I sit up, and slip on my hiking boots. It is a bit of a walk down to the beach from my camp, but there's good cover, and it's slightly higher, so I have the upper ground.

I pick up the backpack in the corner of the tent, and zip the "door" open. Keeping a grip on the zipper, I climb out, turn around, and zip the tent shut.

It is the same invisible tent that I used a while ago, and that I'm still using today.

Hoisting the backpack over my shoulders, I start to make my way down to the beach. For some reason, I feel pretty cheerful. I thought that it couldn't be possible here in Neverland, but I'm actually happy. Maybe at the prospect of Abby meeting Hook, or maybe the idea of how we're going to get to _The Jolly Roger_. I smile at that last part.

_Yeah, I have a few surprises for her tonight. _

By the time I reach the beach, she's already at our meeting place, where we first found each other, sitting on the sand. She sees me, stands up and grins.

"What are we doing tonight?" she asks eagerly, walking over to me.

"You'll see," I reply, purposely being mysterious.

Taking her hand, I lead her into the forest. Though I can use my abilities to find the Pixie Dust tree, I make a trail of light, just to impress her.

"It's going to be a long walk," I warn her. "But that's going to be all the walking we're going to do tonight."

"Why?" she asks, trying to get me to tell her where I'm taking her.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," I point out, as we follow the trail.

"I'll still act surprised," she offers, sounding like she's trying to be generous.

I roll my eyes, and shake my head.

"So," I say, changing the subject. "How are things at home?"

"Fine," Abby replies nonchalantly. "I think Mom called Dad today."

I almost stop, but decide it would probably be better to just talk about it as we walk.

"Why would she do that?" I ask, keeping my anger for them both out of my voice.

Abby shrugs as we walk.

"She said that she needed help around home, because you were gone," she says. "And that you were their daughter, and you needed his help more than anything right now."

I sigh, but decide not to say anything. Dad left when all three of us still needed him. I doubt that he would come because I suddenly disappeared. In fact, he and his girlfriend are probably dancing around, glad that he has one less responsibility to feel guilty about.

And Mom?

Rather than stay and help Abby get through this, she called the guy _who left us_ to take care of Abby. She couldn't even stop to think that maybe Abby needs her, and it's time _she _took responsibility, instead of tossing her daughter on someone else, as if she's a burden. Not only that, she uses _me_ to try to get Dad to come and take care of Abby.

I sigh, shaking my head.

_I can't change anything tonight. Tonight, I can't do anything but spend time with Abby. _

She starts telling me about how they're learning about Abraham Lincoln in school, and how she's wants to sign up for the school soccer team. I listen and talk about it, just occupying time until we reach the Pixie Dust Tree.

When we reach it, I tell her to wait while I climb it.

I'm still wary that Pan will show up, so I stay on alert for that twisted sense while I climb, and dream up a phial around my neck for the pixie dust. I reach a flower and fill the vial with dust. A lot more than usual, because I need enough for two for the way there and back.

I climb back down, and find her waiting, grinning.

"What is that, Jess?" she asks, pointing to the phial around my neck.

"Pixie Dust," I reply. "It makes you fly."

Her reaction is somewhat expected.

She starts squealing with excitement, and jumping up and down.

"We going to fly?!" she cries, excitement written all over her face.

I nod, and uncork the dust.

I sprinkle a pinch on both of us, and tell her to think happy thoughts.

Immediately, the dust around us glows green, and we start to float up.

I cork the phial as she opens her eyes, and they grow as big as moons.

"No way," she murmurs, a grin that could compete with the Cheshire cat appearing on her face.

I take her hand, and will that we go upwards, above the trees. We immediately fly upwards, over the trees, and through the clouds.

She laughs in amazement, and I can't help but join her, exhilaration coursing through me. I've only flown once or twice, but each time, it has been one of the most incredible things I've ever experienced.

My eyes scan the island below us, and I spot _The Roger_ in the distance.

"See that ship, way over there?" I ask, pointing.

She nods, and looks at me curiously.

"That's where we're going," I tell her.

She lets out another squeal of excitement.

_I don't know if she's figured out that we're going to see Captain Hook, or believes that we're just visiting a random ship. Either way, she's loving this. That is exactly what I was hoping for. _

"Come on," I say, willing ourselves to fly towards the ship.

I take in the feeling, the wind whipping in my hair, the entire island moving below us. It's as if, for a moment, I don't have a care in the world.

_Except, perhaps, Abby_.

I hear her laughter as we fly, and I know she feels as exhilarated as I do.

It feels like it's over too soon when we land on the deck of _The Jolly Roger. _

I turn around, and see Hook, looking at us with a mixture of surprise and amusement.

"Lass?" he calls, moving away from the helm, towards us. "What are you doing here?"

"Taking in the sights," I reply, dusting the leftover glittery dust off my arm. "Lovely nature spots here in Neverland."

Hook rolls his eyes, and I can see he's fighting back a grin.

_Yeah, he's glad to see me too. _

He comes over to me, and we give each other a hug, like we do every time I visit.

"Hey, Hook," I say, smiling.

We part, and his eyes fall on Abby, who is watching us curiously.

_Oh, right, I forgot about her for a second. Shame on me. _

"Hook, this is Abby," I say, gesturing for her to come over to us. "Abby, this is Captain Hook."

If Abby's eyes got big because we flew, her eyes may as well take up her entire face at my introduction.

"You're Captain _Hook!?_" she shrieks, looking ready to jump up and down again.

Hook looks somewhere between flattered and even more amused.

"Seems my reputation precedes me," he replies, before giving Abby a sweeping bow.

"Captain of _The Jolly Roger _at your service, my lady," he adds, before taking Abby's hand, and kissing it. I giggle at her expression, which is a combination of awe and adoration.

_Great, my sister's first crush is a pirate who is at least a hundred years old. _

Then Hook, with a smug smile, takes _my_ hand, and kisses it as well, effectively cutting off my giggles. My stunned expression is enough to get Abby laughing.

"And yours as well, my lady," he finishes.

I roll my eyes, but don't yank my hand away. Hook does his best to be a gentleman here in Neverland. That's not exactly the easiest of things. It wouldn't be nice to make it harder.

_Besides, I liked his kiss on my hand. _

"To what do I owe this great pleasure and honor?" he asks, graciously letting my hand drop. It's amazing how he does this without losing his charm for a second.

"Jess wanted to show me this ship," Abby replies, talking a mile a minute. "And so she got us pixie dust, and we flew here, and it was the most amazing thing-"

"Slow down, Abby," I tell her, laughing. "You're going to run out of air at that rate."

She stops, and blushes, but Hook shakes his head with laughter.

"It's quite alright," he assures her. "Sounds like an adventure."

"Oh, it was!" Abby continues, as if she never stopped. "Jess climbed this tree, and got the dust from the flowers there, and we flew over here, and can I climb that?"

She stops, suddenly, pointing to the rope ladder up to the Crow's Nest.

Hook lets out another laugh, and meets my eyes for permission. I nod, knowing that Abby is more than capable of climbing. Sometimes, before Dad left, he would take us rock climbing at the local gym. Abby loved it.

"Absolutely," he says, waving for her to go up.

"Great!" she says, forgetting to thank him, as she scrambles over to the ladder, and starts to climb up.

I see Smee practically biting his nails with worry as he watches Abby climb. Whether from nervousness for Abby, or about us being on the ship, I don't know. I've gotten so used to it though, his twitchy, paranoid behaviour.

Hook and I lean against the stern of the ship, watching my sister climb.

"You do realize that she's going to be infatuated with you?" I remark, casually crossing my arms over my chest.

"Oh, I'm succeeding, then?" he asks teasingly.

I playfully nudge him, and he nudges me back.

She's already half way up, and isn't even panting. We watch her progress for a minute, in silence, before Hook speaks up again.

"Why bring her here?" he asks.

I give him a questioning look, and raise an eyebrow, silently asking what he means.

"I know that you told me she came to Neverland in her dreams," he explains, still looking a little confused. "And that you were showing her the nicer parts of Neverland. But why bring her here of all places?"

I'm still confused on why he's asking me this.

"Because you're my friend," I reply, uncertain of what sort of answer he's looking for. "I already introduced her to Bae, but it didn't feel right without introducing her to the person who has pretty much looked after me since I arrived here."

I catch his expression, and unless I'm mistaken, I see tears in his eyes. I look away. I didn't mean for that to happen.

"I'm touched, lass," he murmurs.

I smile slightly, refusing to call him an idiot.

_I think anyone could see that I've bonded with Hook in ways that I hadn't expected. Has he not seen it? Or perhaps, I'm just seeing something that's not there. _

"Truth is, lass," he says. "After the baby, and Bae, I never expected to have a child in my life."

He gives me a glance, and I have a feeling that he's going to say something as equally touching.

"But, I believe that if Milah and I were ever lucky enough to have a daughter, I imagine she would be just like you."

_Alright, forget equally touching. He _wins_. _

I feel my heart fluttering, and tears pool my own eyes.

"Really?" I ask, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, trying to be nonchalant about it.

"Yes," he replies, smiling down at me.

I choke back a small sob, and smile back at him. To know, that after Dad left, Hook thinks of me in this way is beyond touching.

_It's…overwhelmingly moving._

"Which is probably the reason I've never had a daughter," he says, ruining the tender moment.

I playfully hit him, on the arm, but can't help but feel amazed at what he has told me.

_To know that he thinks of me like this…I don't know how to describe it. It's wonderful, and flattering, and...everything just suddenly seems alright._

"Jess, look how high I am!" calls Abby, oblivious to the conversation below her.

I crane my neck up, seeing her waving down at me from the Crow's Nest.

"Great job, Abby!" I call back, waving to her down below.

"I can see the whole island from here!" she says, sounding awed. "It's beautiful."

"I know," I reply, as she looks out at the island.

Hook gives me a strange look, as I say the last part.

"What?" I ask, defensively.

"Nothing," he replies. "Just that in all my time here in Neverland, I never thought of it as beautiful."

I shrug.

"Maybe you just have to look at it differently," I say. "I think that Neverland is actually beautiful. It's just seems scary and ugly at times because of Pan and his shadow. If neither were here, I think Neverland would be beautiful to everyone."

At this, I feel as if somewhere, in the distance, something stirs at my words. Almost as if a part of the island reacting to what I said.

The feeling is gone as soon as it came.

I shake it off, before turning back to Abby, as she begins to descend. Probably nothing.

"That was amazing," she says, as I help her down.

"It is quite serene," agrees Hook, smiling fondly at her.

"So, you're really Captain Hook?" asks Abby, grinning.

"Aye," replies Hook, still smiling.

"And did Peter Pan really cut off your hand?" she asks.

"Abby, don't-" I start, not wanting Hook to take a trip down memory lane because Abby doesn't know better.

"It's alright, lass," he assures me.

He turns to Abby, still smiling, but this time it seems more forced.

"No, my hand was cut off by a man with the skin of a crocodile," he says. "But I will find him, and avenge my hand."

While I'm grateful that he doesn't ruin her childhood by telling her the truth, I can't help but notice how his bravado covers the true story.

"Were you a pirate before you came to Neverland?" asks Abby, still not realizing the truth beneath the story.

"Aye," he replies again. "But with the help of a magic bean, me crew and I sailed to this accursed island to plot our vengeance."

She grins, walks off to see the rest of the ship.

We watch her go, and I smile again, at seeing her happy.

"You're good with her," I note, glancing at him. "I'm surprised you and the Lost Boys don't get along more."

He shakes his head, and shrugs.

"It was a choice between Bae, and you, or the Lost Ones," he replies. "I still would make that decision again."

This is probably not the best time to point out that he also betrayed Bae to the Lost Boys to save his skin.

"I know," I say instead, leaning against the mast.

Abby is now squealing and jumping up and down as Mr. Smee introduces himself. He, and the rest of the crew, all seem to have taken a liking to her. I'm not surprised. Most adults do.

"I hear that you and Bae are planning to escape," Hook says after a moment of silence.

_He's just now realizing this? Wasn't this my goal before Hook and I even met?_

"Yeah," I reply, nodding. "It's tough, but we're working on it."

Hook nods, and looks away.

"What is it?" I ask, not able to read his expression.

He shrugs.

"I guess I was hoping you and Bae would linger, perhaps," he says. "Or stay with the crew."

He sighs, and glances at Abby, who is now admiring the helm in awe.

"But, I guess it's too late for that to happen," he says. "I can't deny you the chance to be with your sister. She is, after all, what keeps you going."

I smile, touched. Standing on tiptoe, I kiss him on the cheek.

"I would never consider forgetting you, and all that you've done for me," I assure him. "You have no idea how much it has helped me throughout...this."

I wave my hand at the island, letting him figure out my meaning.

"Jess, I wanna fly again," Abby says, suddenly appearing by my side. "Can we?"

I look at the phial holding the dust, and I sigh. I kind of wanted to stay and talk to Hook a little more. But then again, this time with Abby is limited. Who knows when I'll see her again? I can always come back and see Hook tomorrow.

"There's only enough for one trip back, Abby," I warn her. "If we go, that will be all for tonight."

Abby shrugs.

"We'll just come back tomorrow night," she says, firmly. "And we can bring Bae. I think he would love it."

I share a look with Hook, but neither of us say anything. I'm pretty sure Bae would eat poison toads before he used magic, muchless saw Hook again.

"We'll see," I say instead.

I turn to Hook, and give him another hug.

"Thanks for everything," I say sincerely, knowing that he understands what I mean.

"It was a pleasure, lass," he assures me, before Abby nearly tackles him in a bear hug.

"Bye, Captain Hook," she says, keeping a death grip on him when I try to pry her off.

"Okay, Abby," I say, when she still refuses to yield. "I think Hook needs to get back to work with his…pirating."

Hook raises his eyebrows and mouths "pirating?" to me. I stick out my tongue, and gently pull her off.

"It was lovely meeting you, Abby," Hook says, turning on his old charm again.

"Just one question," Abby says rapidly. "Do you have any kids?"

The question catches Hook off guard. His jaw drops, and his reply is a stream of stutters, as he figures out how to answer her.

"Good, then you're available," Abby says again, sounding satisfied.

"Abby!" I exclaim, with slight indignation and shock, while Hook's jaw drops even more, and the other pirates roar with laughter.

I turn around and apologize to Hook, while he shakes his head, looking bemused.

Deciding it's probably best to leave now, I uncork the phial, and allow the rest of the dust to cover us, and together, Abby and I fly off the Roger.

I'm about to lecture her about talking to Hook the way she did, but whatever I'm planning to say is lost when we start to fly over Neverland.

I expect that Abby wants to fly over the island a bit longer than a simple flight from the ship to land. I'm perfectly fine with that, though. I savour the feeling of flying, and I can't erase the grin that keeps coming onto my face. I love doing this. It's not just flying, it's being free.

_I really need to do this more often. _

I see Abby laughing as we fly, and decide to take advantage of our high view. I point down to a familiar lagoon, and shout over the wind, "That's where I met the mermaids for the first time."

"Can we go see it?" she asks, looking hopeful.

_I don't want to risk it. _

It is closer to the Lost Boy's camps. And I don't know if the mermaids would take kindly to Abby. They only kissed me to save me from drowning, and I'm pretty sure that was because Pan ordered them to. What would they do to Abby once they learned who she was?

"Maybe later," I say, not wanting to crush her hopes.

_Maybe I'll show her them later. From a distance. Safe, but still impressive. _

We continue to fly, as I point out some familiar spots. She doesn't get excited as she did about the mermaids, but she still listens.

I don't think she realizes just how intense it was for me. I think to her, it is only a fairytale, with her big sister as the heroine. She doesn't know that I was really in danger of drowning in the lagoon. And the only reason I'm still breathing is because Pan needs me for something. Something that I won't like.

But, I've thought it over.

He wants me to be loyal to him, and to the Lost Boys; so much, that he is trying to make it so I don't feel safe with anyone but them. He wants me to care about the boys as well, especially the younger ones. He also needs a Dreamer with a powerful heart, he mentioned, and was willing to make the deal of their loved one's freedom for their own.

So, if I'm correct, he needs me to make some sort of sacrifice for the sake of the Lost Boys. Something that will hurt to give up. Because he needed to make sure that the Dreamer would make the deal, and he wants me to care about the Lost Boys.

Every night, I'm still tormented by the crying of the Lost Boys. I've learned to tune it out, especially when Abby is here, but the guilt has yet to lessen.

I've talked to Bae about taking the younger boys with us, but I'm not sure what we would do after we got out with them. I don't think Mom's single salary could support us all, and I don't want the kids to end up in the system. That could be even worse than leaving them with Pan.

I feel myself slowly sinking downwards, and I see Abby is doing the same. The dust must be running low.

I direct us towards the beach where I found her, and together we make a careful landing. The glow arounds us fade, leaving the sparkly after-dust. It's going to take forever to get that out of my clothes and hair, but the grin on Abby's face makes it all worth it.

"Well, what did you think?" I ask. "Fun night?"

"Fun?" she repeats. "Jess, this has to be the best night ever!"

With that, she envelopes me in a tight hug. I laugh, but feel my grin get even bigger.

_The best night ever. It makes me feel that all the grief I've gone through all this time is suddenly worth it. I've just given my sister this night. She loved it. And since she loved it, so did I. _

"Now that is just _adorable_," a familiar voice drawls from the forest.

Panic surges through me, and I turn around, drawing the knife I got from the last fight with Pan. I take a defensive stance between Abby and the forest, and curse myself.

_I let my guard down. Why did I let my guard down?! _

I got too comfortable, didn't stay alert, and did not notice the dark, twisted feeling of Pan. _I am such an idiot!_

"I don't think I've seen anything that sweet since….since…" Pan's voice trails off, and I slowly step back, gently pushing Abby back also.

I feel the edge of an incoming wave touch the bottom of my shoe, but I couldn't care less at the moment. I will not, for the life of me, let Pan touch Abby ever again.

"Since twenty-two days ago, actually," Pan finishes, with a small chuckle.

Suddenly, I sense that darkness close, and I turn around to see him only an arm's length from us.

_Darn it, I hate how he teleports!_

He glances at me, before looking down at Abby. She whimpers, and holds my other hand when his eyes fall on her.

"That is how many days it's been in your world, right, Abby?" he asks her.

I hear in his voice the same emotion he had when he had her. Like he is speaking to a pet, not to a little girl. Specifically, _my_ little sister.

She takes a small step behind me, and I hold the knife between us and Pan.

"Leave her alone," I hiss, venom dripping from every word. "It's me you're trying to break, remember? She's not part of this."

Pan seems amused by this, and smirks.

Maybe it's just me, but something seems different about him. Before, he was dark, and scary, but now, he seems even more so. It's as if something that may have redeemed him, some attribute that could have made him good, is just...gone. Like it has been completely been removed. No, more as if some part of him was removed, but he never needed it in the first place.

"Ah, come on, Vin," he says, almost tauntingly. "I just want to see my little pet again. Is that so wrong?"

With a cruel smirk, he looks down at Abby again.

"Hello, Abby," he says, as she moans. "How have you been since your sister made the trade? You must like it here a lot, since you keep returning when you fall asleep…"

_He knew. Somehow he knew that Abby was coming to Neverland, ever since the beginning. _

"Stop it, Pan," I say, backing us away from him.

Pan feints a step forward, and seems amused when we step back even more. This fills me with anger. _I've tried for so long to escape this sadist and his games. I know I can resist them when he tries to play with me. _

_But I won't let him use Abby as a part of this sick, twisted plan of his. He already took her once, and I'm not sure what he did to her in that time, but judging by how she's acting now, I'd say it was very bad. _

"You already promised her freedom, remember?" I point out. "That was how it got started, wasn't it? Me for Abby's freedom?"  
Pan shrugs noncommittally.

"As you said when you first came here, Vin," he replies. "Deals can be broken."

"Besides," he continues, looking at Abby again. "You've proven yourself to be a powerful Dreamer, and so has your sister. Just imagine what I can do with two Dreamers in my grasp."

He smirks at the idea, and I don't know why I'm ramming the knife into him his chest right now. _Probably for Abby's sake. I don't think she'd want to see something like that. Also, I don't want her to see me doing it. _

"A pet and a weapon," he muses. "Yes, this is going to be very, very fun."

He sees my expression, and grins. Abby moans again, and I see a tear running down her cheek. I cannot let him hurt her. She's so innocent, so young. I will not let him take her again. But the look in his eyes...it's almost as if he is enjoying Abby's fear. Reveling in it. _It's sick._

"I'm going to have to get a leash, of course," he continues. "Take you on long walks, Abby. Maybe, if you're good, I'll even get you a collar, and food and water bowls."

"Shut. Up."  
I'm even surprised how low, how dangerous my voice is. I have come too far to see him torture my sister like this. I have let it go on for far too long as it is.

"Oh, don't worry, Vin," he says, his eyes meeting mine. I can't help but notice the darkness inside him has almost _increased _since I last saw him. "I still have plans for you. I won't need you to be a weapon all the time, of course. We'll have to find something for you to do when you're not creating something for me. Possibly furniture. Have you ever considered how you would do as a table?"

_Right, that's it!_

Snarling, I charge at him, ready to stab him, not caring if Abby sees or not. At the moment, making sure he hurts neither of us is the bigger problem.

"NOW!" he cries.

A split second later, I find myself thrown to the ground by what feels like three of the biggest Lost Boys. I get a face full of sand, and for a moment, all I can see and feel is sand. Then, I hear Abby scream my name, and I scramble to get up, forgetting all else.

Instead, I'm forced down by one of the boys, while one takes my knife. Two suddenly force me up, both holding me by my arms, pulling them in opposite directions behind me. I cry out at the sharp pain, and they both stop moving, keeping a death grip on my arms.

I'm finally able to see Abby. She has fallen on her back, and is trying to back away from Pan on her hands while still facing him. He deliberately approaches her slowly, looking smirking at her fear of him.

It's like a demon about to take an angel.

"Abby, wake up!" I shout, struggling against my holders.

One holds me back, while the other slaps me across the face. I somehow am able to ignore the pain, and watch with relief as Abby starts to become transparent.

_That's it, Abby. Get away from here. _

"You can't truly hurt her," I call to Pan, building a smirk of my own. "Not while she's here in a dream. She can always escape you, then."

Pan looks at me, and his expression is enough to make my stomach plummet.

"So what happens when she is here fully?" he asks me.

_Oh no. Oh, God, oh, God, _no_!_  
He reaches out, and touches Abby.

Without warning, she starts to become less transparent. More solid. Her look of horror and sudden scream is all the confirmation I need. He's pulling her in. Somehow, just as he can wake you up while you're in Neverland, he is dragging her from the real world to Neverland. And then, he can hurt her, and torture her all he wants. And I won't be able to stop him.

_No! _

_Dang it, I will not let this happen! I am supposedly the most powerful Dreamer in the world. I will not let him hurt my baby sister, now or ever again! I will grit my teeth, and focus, and_ I will use the powers that I have to my advantage!

Closing my eyes, I imagine a barrier. Something that blocks Pan from touching Abby, or the shadow for that matter. Something that keeps my little sister safe from the danger here, and will always keep her from the dangers in Neverland, until she is safe from Pan. Something that not even Peter Pan can get around, or anyone else.

Something that protects her from Pan, from his power, from the Lost Boys, and from _bloody Neverland itself!_

Suddenly, there is silence. A silence that is so sudden, so scary, it's almost brutal. Hesitantly, I open my eyes again. I'm still being held by the Lost Boys. I recognize a couple as Rufio and Felix. Pan is still standing in front of me.

But Abby is gone.

For a moment, relief sweeps through me. She's out of Neverland. She's escaped.

_She's safe._

Pan, however, is standing over me with a wide grin.

"I knew you were powerful, Vin," he says. "I just never knew you were _that_ powerful."

He turns to the Lost Boys holding me.

"I told you that we could use the little girl to our advantage," he says. "Vin has cast her out of Neverland forever. She won't ever return to Neverland."

He looks back down at me. I don't know why he's grinning.

_I just won, didn't I? I got her out._

"You won't see her again, Vin," he says.

_That's it. That's why he's so pleased with himself. _

_I may have saved my sister. I may have protected her, like I always do. But, I've also lost her._

For a second time, I've lost my baby sister.

"It doesn't matter," I whisper through gritted teeth. "I will get back to her."

I promised her that I would. I _have_ to get back to her.

"I'm sure you will," Pan replies, sounding like a parent who might say that their second grader is definitely going to be president when they grow up.

He looks at Rufio, and gives him a nod.

One of the boys suddenly grabs the back of my head, and pushes, forcing me to look downwards. Something sharp pierces my exposed neck, and immediately, everything goes blurry.

I look up at Pan again, but I can't tell if I'm looking at him or someone else.

"Why?" I ask, my voice slurred by whatever they've pricked me with.

He knows what I mean. _Why is he doing this? Why did he threaten Abby the way he did? Why does he need me in the first place?_

I feel someone jerk my head, as if someone is pulling on my hair. I can't tell. It's so hard to focus.

_I see a face…at least, I think it's a face. It's too blurry to tell...what?_

"Because, Vin," Pan hisses before everything goes black. "It's the game. You escape, I get you back. But, in the end, the girl took you away from the game. This is me putting you back in it."

* * *

**A/N:** Yes. I just did that!

Just as a head's up, the upcoming chapters are definitely going to be more intense than Part One. Not enough to change the rating to M, but still, more intense (in case you couldn't tell by the end of this chapter).

I want to give a special thanks to **meguhanu, Female whovian, **and **B** for your awesome reviews. Also, I want to thank my great betas, **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **and **Uncommon fairy**. Y'all are amazing, thank you so much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Pan and his plans for Jess are especially appreciated.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Hm...something should go here...I forget. **

* * *

Everything comes to me in a haze.

I'm aware that I'm in some sort of enclosed room. And it's small.

Whatever they gave me must be wearing off, but at a snail's pace. A bright light shines in my eyes, and I slowly raise my hand to shield my eyes. Even this small action makes me tired. Right now, all I want to do is sleep. There doesn't seem to be anything else to do.

I curl up in a fetal position, with my back and knees both touching the walls. Closing my eyes, I try to drift off, to sleep, and let the drug wear off on its own.

Sleep doesn't come to me, so I try instead to just rest. To hear and sense what's around me, but not react. It seems to be the best thing at the moment.

After what feels like hours, I eventually become more aware of my surroundings. Still resting, I can feel my hands touching sticks, all spaced apart. It feels like the walls of my room are also made up of the same things. A small gust of wind blows, and the entire room shifts with it.

_Now, why would it do that?_

Puzzled, I try turning over, to get in a more comfortable position. Again, the room shifts.

_Wait…_

My eyes fly open, and I look through the wall I'm facing.

Except there is no wall. It is just a line of branches, spaced apart, like the rest of the room. I try to sit up, and again, the room shifts.

The ceiling, which is low enough that I can barely sit up without my head scraping against it, is also like the walls and floor of the room.

_No,_ I realize, _it's not a room at all._

_It's a cage._

Immediately, everything comes back to me like a tidal wave crashing down on me. Pan trying to take Abby, my getting her out, him drugging me.

I exhale, and immediately try to turn around, and see where I am. The cage wobbles with me. Looking around, I realize that they have not only put me in a cage, but they have also left it dangling from a tree. The cage gently swings at the slightest gust of wind, and at any sudden movement I make within it.

I touch the cords which bind the walls of the cage to the ceiling and floor. With a good knife, I can probably cut a wall free, but looking down, I doubt I could survive the fall.

My sixth sense tells me that my captor is here, but I can't pinpoint where.

"What are you playing at, Pan?" I shout, certain that he is listening. "Why am I here?"

There's no reply.

Rolling my eyes in frustration, I slowly move into a more comfortable position.

This makes no sense. He wants me to be loyal to him and the Lost Boys. He wants me to love them enough to make some sort of sacrifice. Putting me in a cage causes the exact opposite.

He was happy that Abby's gone, but he let me go on for ages, just living on my own. Why this sudden change? Why lock me in a cage?

Abby.

I exhale, trying to keep myself calm. But it seems like too much.

I've lost her, again. I know I made the decision, and that it was for her own good.

_So why does it hurt so much, knowing that I cast her out of Neverland, to protect her? I saved her from Pan. I won. Point to me. _

I should be celebrating, but I can't.

_Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I won't be able to escape at all. If Pan keeps me in this cage, I probably won't ever be able to escape. I can't escape when I'm trapped like this. I'm afraid that, after everything, after how far I've come, I'll fail. I'm afraid that I will never see her again. That last night was the last night I saw her._

My last moments with my baby sister may have been spent enduring Pan's verbal torture, and getting her out of Neverland.

And that thought is unbearable.

I need to get out. I need to escape. I can't let last night be my last night with my baby sister. But, I _can't_ get out.

"Let me out!" I shout. "You've made your point, now let me out!"

Silence.

"This is a bigger setback than you can believe," I warn Pan, knowing that he hears me. "It does nothing for you. It only makes me hate you even more."

Nothing.

I shout for a few more minutes, but there is never a reply. I cannot escape, and the only person who may let me out is ignoring me.

Without anything left, I start to break down into hysterical sobs. And I let it all out.

All the emotions I've held back, bundled up, or just ignored, all comes forward while I cry. For hours, I cry, rant, threaten, plead, beg, and even pray for just something. Something that can get me out of this cage.

But nothing comes. All my tears go unheard. Hours of fruitless sobs pass, and not even Pan shows his smirking face to gloat.

When I finally calm down, the sun has already set, and I'm starved. I wait for a little while, but no Lost Boy shows up with food. I guess Pan expects me to use my powers to feed myself.

Wiping my eyes, which are probably bloodshot by now, I try to calm myself again, and imagine some sort of food. But my mind's still so muddled, and my concentration so lacking, I end up with nothing.

Trying a trick I learned a while back, I imagine exhaling a murky, grey color, and inhaling a nice color. Like blue. Sky blue.

It works to calm me down, and I'm able to imagine a bowl of oatmeal. Knowing that there's no way to eat it with a spoon in a comfortable position, I just hold the bowl to my lips, and take in a mouthful, as if I'm drinking it.

Sip by sip, I finish it, and I imagine the bowl disappearing.

_Right, time to try escaping._

They took my knife, so I have to imagine a new one. I plan to cut away a wall of the cage, and imagine a mattress, or maybe a pile of cushions, to break my fall. But the knife is useless. No matter how much I hack at the cords, or cut through them, or even saw away at the wooden bars of the cage itself, the knife doesn't make so much as a nick in it. I try a knife with a serrated blade, but that does absolutely nothing but give me blisters. Pan must have some sort of magic that prevents the cage from opening.

Growling in frustration, I let the knives disappear.

Unable to find any other ideas, I just try to fall asleep. Despite my anxiety of being in the cage, it doesn't take long.

However, as soon as I drift off, I'm haunted by nightmares of Pan succeeding in taking Abby. Of him torturing and humiliating her, while I'm locked in my cage, until he needs me to make something.

I wake up crying, and with something warm and wet trickling down my legs and in my pants. I sigh, and sit up. Guess that takes care of one problem.

I try to rest, as I did earlier, but it does nothing to change how tired I am.

My cage hangs too low for me to see if there's smoke from the camp, or to see where I am on the island.

_Why am I not surprised?_

By the time dawn comes, I still haven't seen a soul, nor have heard anything else from Pan. I don't even know if he was here last night. I just know I heard his laughter, and he didn't respond.

I try shouting again, but once again, there's no reply.

It begins a cycle. I shout, but never have any reply. Sometimes, Pan's calls out something like "How do you like it, Vin? Comfy in there?"

I would almost believe it's a recording if I wasn't seeing someone out of the corner of my eye. In the trees, on the ground, somewhere in the foliage. My sixth sense tells me that Pan is here. But when I try to make eye contact, or at least get a full look, he always disappears.

Sometimes, I wonder out loud why he is doing it, but he never answers.

At night, I rest, but can never sleep. Sometimes, I'll drift off, but I'll either be haunted by nightmares, or will be woken up by a sudden gust of wind, that will rock the cage.

I don't know how long I'm in the cage. I try to imagine a watch, to keep the time, but the hour hand spins endlessly clockwise, while the minute hand spins at top speed counterclockwise. I guess Bae was right. There is no way of keeping track of time in Neverland.

Around the third day (_I think)_ I started to cry out for Bae, Hook, and Tinkerbell, but I may as well be shouting to Pan for all the answers I get.

By the end of that day, I realize how badly I smell. I'm tired, because I haven't had a real sleep since the nightmares. I'm dirty from the sweat, dried urine, dried tears, and somehow, dirt. Even up here, I still got a layer of dirt caking my skin. I'm cramped, and miserable. And alone.

_It wouldn't be so bad if I just had someone to _talk_ to_!

Right now, I would be fine enduring Pan's taunts, or even just the shadow floating by my cage, as long as I could talk to somebody.

Abby would be here, probably. She'd probably be on the beach, if I hadn't cast her out. Not that I regret it. I just miss her.

_Dang, my life is messed up._

The next day, I don't shout, because my voice has pretty much gone horse. Couldn't shout if I wanted to.

But I can cry.

I've been alone in this whole thing, and now, even my voice has abandoned me. I need to cry. I don't want to give in and cry, like I did the other night. But I just have too.

I've never been claustrophobic, but by that afternoon, when I'm done crying, I start to feel like I'm suffocating. After four, maybe five days in this cage, I can't help feeling like any second, I'm going to have a panic attack because the walls will suddenly close in around me.

_I have to get out of here,_ I think to myself, after the sun has set. _Somehow, someway, I need to get out of this cage. _

I don't have to wait too long. Only a couple of hours after realizing my newfound claustrophobia, something changes.

I feel the cage shifting, even though I've remained as still as possible over the past couple days. Whipping my head around to find the source of this disturbance, the cage starts to slowly, almost mechanically, descend. I look around, but I can't see anyone beside or below me. My fingers grasp the bars of the cage, because I'm sure any second the cage will suddenly drop, and the cage will be the only thing that keeps me from certain doom.

The cage never does drop, but simply lands softly on the ground. Immediately, several boys emerge around the cage, and start to work at the lock in front.

I can sense Pan now. He's here. Plus, I can make him out among the boys. The one lingering back, as the others do all the work.

I hear the lock open, and I'm torn between my desire to get out of the cage, and staying away from Pan, who locked me in here in the first place.

The door of the cage swings open, and I move away to the back, curling into a ball. The further away I am from Pan, the better.

He bends down at the doorway, and grins at me. I meet his grin with a glare.

"What do you want?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

"I want you to come out of your cage, Vin," he replies, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

_Yeah, so he can do what? Torture me like he would have done to Abby if I hadn't gotten her out? Or maybe he needs me to make something for him._

"Why?" I ask, after swallowing to keep my voice from hurting.

Pan shrugs.

"Well, if you don't want to come out, I suppose I can leave you here if that's what you want," he says, starting to swing the door closed.

My mouth reacts before my mind.

"No!"

He stops, and looks back in, a kind, sincere smile on his face. I _hate_ him. I hate him so much.

But I have to get out of this cage.

He holds out his hand to me, and for a moment, I hesitate. _But what other option do I have?_

I take his hand, hating that I'm shaking so much. I let him pull me out, the other Lost Boys cheering as I emerge. I see Felix and Rufio among them.

_Honestly, are those two brothers are something?_

I can see a vague resemblance, but I wouldn't be able to see it if I never noticed that they were always hanging around with the other.

Pan leads me away from the cage that he had imprisoned me, and the Lost Boys follow. It feels so good to move my legs and stretch.

"What are you doing?" I ask. "Why did you keep me in there?"

Pan smirks, as he leads me towards a clearing that I can only assume is the Lost Boy's camp.

"It was a test, Vin," he replies. "A test to prove something to me."

_Naturally, he won't tell me what that is._

"Did I pass?" I ask drily.

"We'll see," he answers. His voice is so nonchalant that I'm not sure if he's being serious or sarcastic.

I don't know what he is doing, but at this point, I feel that enduring his taunts and coming up with my own retorts are better than the cage.

We come to the clearing, where the Lost Boys are gathered. As usual, they are all scattered around, playing their strange games, or fighting.

"Jess!"

I turn at the familiar voice.

Toodles runs over, and throws his arms around my middle.

Immediately, I crouch down and hug him back. I hated my time in the cage so much, I even missed the younger Lost Boys, especially Toodles.

_Dang it, this is what he wants!_

_Was that what all of this was supposed to be? Locking me in the cage, and leaving me alone so that I even missed the Lost Boys. So much, that I may even begin to love them?_

I get a glance at Pan's smirk, and I know that this is exactly what he wanted. Anger surges through me, but I don't say anything. I don't pull out of the hug first either. Who knows how much my little friend needs a hug?

After a few seconds, however, Pan gently pulls Toodles back,

"Alright, Toodles," he says gently. "Vin has been away for a while. I'm glad to see her too. But she needs to get cleaned up."

With that, he pulls me up, and leads me to one of the many trees surrounding the clearing.

When he said that I need to get cleaned up…

He leads me down into the tree, which is hollow, of course. _Why would Pan for once have a tree that isn't hollow?_

I'm afraid of what I'll find inside it. Pan didn't let me out of the cage for nothing. Thoughts of the torture he would have inflicted on Abby enter my mind, when I stop dead in my tracks.

A bathtub. A bathtub filled with water.

I look at Pan, confused. He catches it, and shrugs.

"Well, I said you needed to wash up, and I meant it," he says, interpreting my look correctly. "You look horrible."

He would know, wouldn't he? He was the one who locked me up, and let me waste away. But, I'm puzzled by this.

He locks me in a cage for ages, knowing exactly where I am, and how I was doing in it. Then, all of sudden, out of the blue, he's nice to me? What is this?

"Don't worry," he says, turning out of the tree before I can press him. "I'll leave you be. Oh, and, Vin?"

He turns, and his smirk seems even more devious.

"Don't worry about the other boys peeking in," he says. "I posted Felix and Rufio to make sure that no one goes in without you being decent."

Meaning: _don't bother trying to escape, I've posted guards._

With a small wink, he turns and leaves the tree.

I turn to the tub, trying to figure out this enigma. Pan threatens me and Abby, drugs me, and locks me in a cage. And this is some sort of attempt to make it up to me? Or maybe he's showing how horrible he can be to me, to the point that I just want to get out, and now he's showing me how nice he can be?

Well, he has managed to confuse me at the least. I have no idea how to approach this.

Maybe, play along a little? Find out his game and turn it around on him by making it look like he's winning?

_Well_, I think to myself, _I could use a bath._

With a resolve that I've lacked since I've been in the cage, I take off my sticky, filthy clothes, and climb into the warm water. I have to admit to myself that I also really do want a bath.

Beside the tub are a set of bottles I never noticed until now. Soap, shampoo, and conditioner.

_Because that isn't weird at all?_

Warily, I start to scrub off the layers of dirt and sweat that I've gained in my prison. I massage the shampoo and conditioner into my greasy hair (separately, of course), and rinse it.

I hate to admit it, but the bath actually does feel good. But the fact that Pan made it, and it's part of his game makes it impossible to really enjoy.

After I climb out, and dry off, I find that he has left some clothes for me. _Oh, joy._

Looking at them, I see that they are more or less like a female version of the Lost Boy clothes. Even has a hood.

Rolling my eyes, I imagine my own clothes to use. The ones I was in my first night in Neverland: jeans, tank-top, denim jacket, and boots. After I change, I mentally steel myself to face Pan. I need to find out what is doing. What he's playing at. But he's only going to see it as a game. I need to be ready to play it with him.

I leave the tree, and see him playing his broken set of pipes. Yep, they're still broken. Absolutely no music. He stops when he sees me, and lowers his pipes.

Grinning, he walks over to me, not even bothered that I made my own clothes instead of wearing his.

"You're looking much better, Vin," he tells me, sounding sincere.

I feel much better, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction by telling him this.

"Cut the crap, Pan," I snap at him. One nice gesture does make me forget what he's done to Abby and I. "What do you want?"

I half-expect him to lecture me on language like he did when on my first night here, but he instead gives me a surprised look.

"Why, Vin," he says, his voice filled with mock hurt, "I only want you to have that pleasure that all the Lost Ones have."

_What does he mean by that?_

"You never did fire that arrow," he points out.

_Oh, that's what this is about? Some stupid arrow?_

He locked me in a cage so that I could fire an arrow? _No, there's got to be more to this. Something that I'm missing._

But that's what it looks like. He calls Felix over, and has him place the apple on his head, like he did last time.

He has the arrow dipped in poison, and loaded in the crossbow. He hands it to me, smiling winningly at me.

"Go on, Vin," he says encouragingly. "Shoot."

"What are you playing at, Pan?" I ask, refusing to take the bow.

Instead of answering, Pan shrugs and withdraws the bow.

"I'm trying to be nice, Vin," he says casually. "If you don't want to shoot, maybe you should go back to your cage."

My heart drops at this.

_No. I refuse to go back to that cage. I_ can't _go through that again._

Hating myself, I snatch the bow from Pan.

"If I fire, you won't threaten me with the cage again, will you?" I ask, trying not to notice the other Lost Boys gathering around us.

Pan's eyes gleam triumphantly, as he nods.

_Oh, shoot. Now he knows my weakness. He now knows to make me do something, just lock me in my cage._

I turn to Felix, my hands trembling, as the Lost Boys, Pan, and Felix start chanting for me to shoot. Well, this is déjà vu for me.

I aim at the apple, my mind racing.

This is what Pan wants. He wants me to shoot at the apple. If I do, that means he controls me. I notice his hand at the ready, waiting for me to fire at him. No, if I do that, he will use that to his advantage. I can rule that option out.

_No, he threatened Abby. He's the reason I may never see her again until I escape. Then, he locks me in a cage, like I'm some sort of kenneled animal, and he now wants to control me by forcing me to play his game. Not happening!_

I'm my own person. I control what I do, not Pan._ I_ control my fate, not Pan. _I_ control my actions, not Pan.

And there is something I can do. Something Pan won't expect, that I can use to my advantage. Something to make him pay for what he's done for me.

In one heartbeat, I lower the bow so that it's not aimed at the apple but at Felix's heart.

Without hesitation, I let the arrow fly.

Immediately, Pan appears in front of Felix, and catches the arrow. It is only inches from his heart. Had I been even a half second faster, he would be dead.

The look on his face is a mix between shock, worry, and pride. Even he, with all his ways to try to manipulate me, did not expect me to do that.

The boys around us only look from me to Pan in a stunned silence, though anger tints on Rufio's face as well.

If I had been faster, or if he had been slower, Pan or Felix would be dead. I almost killed them. I was _going_ to kill them.

That last thought rings in my mind.

_I. Was. Going. To. Kill. Them._

Why? Not out of self-defense, or to get away. It was to prove to Pan that he didn't own me. I nearly took someone's life to prove a point.

My mind goes numb, and I look down at the bow that I used. The bow I almost used to kill.

_No, I have to get it away from me. Before I use it again. Before I try to kill again._

I drop the bow, and it takes all the self-control I have to not kick it.

What self-control? _I almost killed Felix!_

"Well done, Vin," Pan finally says, breaking the silence, tossing aside the arrow. "I don't think anyone has ever tried that."

I back away from him when he approaches.

I feel sweat sliding down my forehead, but that should be impossible. There's no way I could be sweating when it feels this cold.

"Are you alright, Vin?" he asks. "You look pale."

_I don't know _

I nearly killed, because I wanted to show Pan he didn't control me. It wasn't something I'd ever consider doing. I wouldn't even have fired the arrow if Pan hadn't threatened to put me back in the cage.

But killing to send messages? Playing along to overcome my opponent?

It's not something I would ever have done. I'm not acting like myself.

_I am acting like Pan._

* * *

**A/N: **Not as much action in this chapter, but a lot of angst.

Wow, so this chapter was very, very tough to write. Feedback on the cage, and Jess's thoughts would be very, very appreciated.

A special thanks to **BluemoonMusicGirl, Revengest, Cytryne, ToughLove726, Panneverfails9, minitiness, Mollieeeee, **and **xXFallen-Angel-Of-DarknessXx** for putting the story on alert, and **BluemoonMusicGirl, **Cytryne, **Panneverfails9, **minitiness,** ******and **Mollieeeee **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **meguhanu, Dreamer-Girl96, minitiness, B, **and **fhjfk** for your awesome reviews! And, of course, thank you **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** for being my amazing betas! Thank you all so much for support, y'all are amazing!******  
******

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! **:)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I know something should go here, but I can't remember what...**

* * *

The revelation is almost sickening.

After all I've done to escape him, I'm acting like him. I don't want to be like him; I want to get away from him. I want to get out, but if I start to act like that, then how can I ever hope for that to happen? _Or was this even the beginning? What if I've been acting like this for a long time, and never realized?_

I shake my head, trying to clear it. I'm vaguely aware of someone leading me to the campfire, and helping me sit down. My body reacts before my mind, and I sit down and stare blankly into the flames. The other boys are now dancing around the fire, and around me, as Pan plays into his broken pipes.

_I don't know if I am acting like Pan. What if I am? If that's the case, then I need to get out._

But I can't. I'm back in Pan's camp, now. No matter how nice he pretends to be to me, he won't let me escape again. And he knows how to get to me: Abby or the cage. He just has to threaten me with either one, and I could either hurt someone to stop him, or hurt myself. Or both.

_And what if it isn't Felix next time? What if it's Hook, or Bae? Will I be able to control myself next time, or will I go through with it, and hurt someone?_

Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?

_Yes, I just killed, but am I acting like Pan?_

I had just come out of a cage. That was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. I was scared, and angry. It's possible I just got too carried away. And if I'm ever in this situation again, I can remember this shock, and find some other way out of it.

_But, what if that's not the case? What if I am becoming like Pan: manipulative, cunning, ruthless? A killer?_

I don't know. I'm not sure anymore. I can't tell if I'm turning into a killer, or losing control, or staying sane. I don't know anymore.

_I'm lost._

As soon as I admit this to myself, something changes.

Suddenly, I can hear music. Hauntingly beautiful, hypnotizing music that sends a shiver down my spine. The music acts like an anesthetic. Immediately, everything seems vague, and unimportant. All that matters is just listening to this music. To get up, and dance to it, like the other boys are. I can't understand why I haven't joined them yet. To get lost in the music, until it ceases. Which, hopefully, will never happen.

I'm about to rise to my feet, and join the boys in the dance.

But something holds me back. I'm not sure what it is. But some thought stops me, and tells me that this isn't a good idea.

_Why?_ I think. _It can't be that bad, can it?_

_Yes it can_, a voice in the back of my mind argues. _It seems wrong. If you give into the music, you will forget everything. Escaping, running, and Abby._

That's all I need to convince me. If I give into the music, it will be all that matters. I will lose my awareness about everything else. Abby included.

_I can't forget her. So I can't give in._

But, the music is so hypnotic…

"Are you alright, Vin?"

I open my eyes to the voice, not even realizing that I had closed them.

I see Pan in front of me, a triumphant smirk on his face.

The music still continues, and now that I've opened my eyes, it's all I can do not to get up and dance to it.

_Maybe, if I talk, it will be easier._

"Wh-What was the point of all that?" I ask, my voice trembling. "Of locking me in the cage, of the bath, of having me fire the arrow?"

It's hard to even focus on finding the right words. It feels like I should let the music in. Give in to it.

_I need to stay. I need to focus. I need to hear the reason for what he has put me through._

"That night that you left me tied to the tree, Vin," he explains. "you told me that you would do anything to escape your captivity. I was testing to see if it was true."

_The liar._

I know there has to be more to it than this. He wouldn't leave me in that cage for days, and put me through that misery, and have me fire that arrow like that for a test.

"Of course," he continues, "I had to see what you would do to escape real captivity. And if you would do what you did tonight? Well, then I'll have been correct when I said you were going to be the greatest Lost One we ever recruited."

I shake my head, trying to make sense of this, ignoring his jab at me. And doing my best to ignore the music.

"But why go through all that trouble?" I ask. "You wouldn't put me through all that for just a test. You wouldn't put the life of your most faithful lieutenant on the line just to see how far I could go."

He shrugs, glancing at the boys as they dance. Even Felix and Rufio have joined. The sight would be funny if I too weren't so tempted to join them.

"You left me tied to a tree, Vin," he says casually. "Even when I begged, you still left me alone. I needed to raise the bar higher, to see what you would do if you were really desperate. And, besides, Felix's life wasn't really on the line."

He doesn't say it directly but I can read between the lines.

"This is about payback, isn't it?" I ask, feeling a little proud of myself for figuring it out. "Petty revenge for leaving you tied to that tree."

I can't help but smirk back at him, and take my own jab at him.

"Tell me, how did it feel to be beaten? By a girl, no less?" I ask, tauntingly.

His face contorts with anger, and I can see I've hit him in a pressure point. I'd be proud of myself if I didn't know that I was flirting with danger now. But, it does help distract me from the music

"Oh, that wasn't payback, Vin," he murmurs, his voice starting to become dangerous.

He raises his finger and points it at me. I focus on him, trying to push the music back.

"You left me tied to the tree, Vin," he continues. "and I begged you to release me. I promised to return you to your family, and I wasn't lying. I truly would have given you if you had freed me. But, instead, you left me. And I'm actually glad you did.

"You see, the tree feeds on your regret. And it feasted on mine. So much, that it even took away my _ability_ to regret. And now I see what a weakness it was. But it still doesn't change that you left me tied to that tree. So, no, putting you in the cage wasn't revenge. This is."

With that, he raises his pipes to his lips, and blows into them.

It's as if all resistance I've built to the music suddenly shatters. I hear the music even more, and it's even more hypnotic, and more tempting than before.

I have to get up. I have to dance, and give in.

_No! I can't._

I plant my feet firmly on the ground, and my hands grip the rock I'm sitting on. I close my eyes, trying to block out the music. But it just comes back with full force.

"Stop it," I whisper. "Just stop."

I hear Pan snort before he replies. I can almost see his smirk.

"Why, Vin?" he asks. "Don't you want to dance?"

"No," I hiss, gripping my seat even tighter. "No, I don't. Please, stop."

This is his payback. Trying to make me give in to the music. To make me submit all control to the music. But if he controls the music, then that means I'll be submitting all control to him.

"What do you want?" I ask, trying to find something, anything, to make it stop.

Pan suddenly grabs me under the chin, and I involuntarily open my eyes. The music hits me with full force, but I can't do anything to stop it.

"I want you to beg, like I did," he replies, looking completely serious. "I want you to offer me anything, like I did to you. I want you to know how it feels."

He means it. He's completely set on me begging him.

Part of me screams for me to forget it, and just give in to the music already. But if I do that, I'm giving into him.

Another part of me wants to do it. To beg for him to stop it. To offer him anything to make it stop. But how is that any different from what he's trying to prove? That to escape, I'll do anything. I'm not giving him that satisfaction.

"Rot. In. Hell," I snarl, mentally preparing myself for whatever he's going to do to me.

For a second, he and I stare at each other, refusing to break the other's gaze. His angry, cold eyes meet my stubborn ones, and I know that I've pushed him too far. He will see that I pay for not giving into him.

He releases my face, and I grip my hand holds even more firmly. I will not give him what he wants, but I have no doubt he will make me suffer for this.

I see him stand, and for a moment, I think he's going to play his pipes again. But he doesn't.

Instead, he looks out to the dancing boys.

"It seems that our Lost Girl is a little shy," he says. The other boys pause to listen.

"Shame on you boys, leaving a girl to sit alone, not offering to dance with her."

I start, realizing where he's going with this.

"Someone dance with Vin," he orders.

_No. No, he can't!_

If I start to dance, I know I won't be able to stop. I won't be able to resist. I'll give in, and be under his control.

Rufio steps forward, and offers me his hand, an evil grin on his face. He knows exactly what will happen, and he's enjoying this.

I shake my head desperately, practically clinging to my seat for dear life. The temptation to get up and dance to the music is so great. It's all I can do not to take his hand and join him.

With a careless shrug, Rufio reaches down and grabs me by the arm, forcing me to my feet.

"No!" I beg, no longer caring. "No, please!"

Pan, Felix, Rufio, and a few other boys simply grin at my desperation. Pan lifts his pipes to his lips and begins to play.

The boys start to dance again around us.

"Please," I murmur, looking Rufio in the eyes.

With a smirk, he pulls me into the dance.

I try to put up a fight as he starts to whirl me around. I try to resist to the temptation.

_Focus!_ I think. _Dang it, think of Abby! Think of Mom! Think of Roxanne! Think of anything, just focus!_

Rufio whirls me around the fire, and Pan plays the same haunting notes one more time. Just as they do this, I lose my footing for one, horrible second. And that's all the music needs.

That one second of distraction is all it takes.

Everything else fades away, and the music takes over me.

* * *

There were several things Peter enjoyed doing. But at the moment, nothing gave him more satisfaction than watching Vin dance.

She had succumbed to the music hours ago, but it was still so amusing, watching her prance around the fire with the rest of the boys, completely under his control.

If he got this much satisfaction just by having this much control over her, he couldn't wait until she was well and truly broken.

He didn't know how long it would be until that happened, but he knew it wouldn't be too long. She had taken her first real step tonight.

He truly hadn't expected what she did with the arrow. For a second, though he would never dare admit it out loud, he had been worried that he would not catch the arrow in time. That he, or Felix would be killed.

But, as he reminded himself, her firing the arrow was a good thing. It sped everything up. If she hadn't taken the shot, she would never have admitted to herself that she was lost. He had always known she was Lost, but now even she addressed it. When both players of a game agreed on something, then the better player can use it to his advantage. And not to get down on Vin, but he was the better player.

And, now that she admitted that she was lost, now that she could hear the music, she was without a doubt on her way to becoming a Lost Girl. And once any one of his group had started on that path, there was never any going back.

Still, he had time to kill before she snapped completely. And thus, he had time to make her pay for the humiliation she put him through at the Tree.

Whenever someone gave into the music, they danced for as long as he willed them. Usually, when his boys danced, he would have them stop so they wouldn't get exhausted. The intoxication of the music was so strong, that one could dance for days and days, and never notice how worn out their bodies were getting .

He didn't want his boys getting exhausted, so he would have them dance on and off, taking regular shifts to relax and rest. But he ensured that Vin was never dancing alone. There was always someone dancing beside her or with her. He didn't want the others to realize just how angry he was with her for the fight at the Tree. Especially, if the younger boys found out. He had a feeling they would turn to Vin if they saw him punishing her so blatantly.

She had started dancing on her own a while ago, but sometimes would dance with some of the others. Her face wore a somewhat dazed, somewhat pained expression, as if she had just been hit hard on the head. Like pain, drifting through numbness.

She was fighting. Inside, part of her was still trying to fight, and break free of his newfound hold on her. He wasn't about to let her go so easily. Every so often, he would pick up his pipes and play again, renewing the music's grasp on her. Sometimes he would dance around her as he did (it was very pleasing to see her pained expression turn into a completely dazed one), or he would just sit by his loyal followers and play to see their faces. They had been as angry for his humiliation at the Tree as he had been. They enjoyed seeing her dance as well.

Now, most of the other boys, well rested and rejuvenated, had joined her dance around the fire. It was so entertaining, watching how he could control so many just by playing a few simple notes.

Suddenly, someone leapt out from the foliage behind him, and before he could react, a hand pulled his head back by his hair, while another held a blade to his throat.

"Where is she?" hissed Baelfire.

Peter smirked at his grandson's feeble attempt to threaten him. It was pathetic really.

"Your love for Vin is almost touching, Baelfire," he replied. "But it's blinding you. Do you remember nothing that I taught you?"

With a simple flick of his wrist, magic sent the blade flying from Baelfire's hand, and into the middle of camp. Turning, he saw the fear in Baelfire's eyes, but also his determination. The boy was seriously intent on rescuing Vin. If he wasn't having so much fun playing with her, he might have handed her over to Baelfire, just to see how his grandson would react. But, for now, he didn't feel like sharing his toys.

"Where is she, Pan?" Balefire asked again, obviously trying not to sound afraid.

Well, he didn't have to worry about Vin at the moment. And he hadn't played with Balefire in a while. It would be kind of fun to mess with him.

"What makes you think I have her, Balefire?" Peter asked, filling his voice with mock innocence.

Balefire glared at him. He had forgotten how much Balefire hated being taunted. Peter may get a bigger kick out of this then he was expecting.

"She disappeared days ago," Baelfire replied. "She was supposed to see me two nights ago, but she never came. I've searched everywhere. I asked Tinkerbell, and I even had her ask the pirate. No one has seen her."

Well, the boy really did care about Vin if he went to Killian Jones. Baelfire hated that man almost as much as he hated Peter or his own father. Still, his hatred for the pirate captain was always something fun to rub in the boy's face.

"And what makes you think that our dear friend the pirate isn't lying?" he asked. "For all you know, he could have Vin, and isn't telling anyone."

"Because you want her," replied Balefire. "And if you want her and the pirate had her, all you would have to do is ask and he would hand her over. No, Jess is definitely here."

The boy clearly had thought this through. Maybe Peter had rubbed off on him after all. He was so proud of Balefire.

Feeling the need to give the boy a prize, and to torment him more, Pan smirked, and looked towards Vin as she danced. Baelfire followed his gaze, and his eyes widened with horror when he saw her dancing with the other Lost Ones.

Forgetting everything, Baelfire ran forward, and grabbed hold of Vin's arm.

"Jess?" he asked, trying to pull her out of the dance.

Vin immediately pulled back, and got back into the dance, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Pan smirked at Baelfire's second fruitless attempt to stop her from dancing.

"You can't free her, Baelfire," he told his grandson, as the boy tried to drag Vin away a third time. "When your father could stop you from dancing all those years ago was because he was your blood and he was the Dark One. Trust me, Balefire, you are neither Vin's blood, nor do you have magic."

Baelfire backed away, watching her dance among the Lost Ones. For a moment, he looked like his father had when Peter had taken Baelfire.

Baelfire's face contorted with rage, and he stormed over to Peter.

"Let her go," he ordered.

Peter chuckled at the boy's concern for her.

"What, do you think I'm going to hurt her, Baelfire?" he asked. "I need her for something after all. You think I'm going to use damaged goods?"

Best not to bring up what he was doing to her at the moment, and let him think she was having fun.

"Besides, do you want me to pull her away from finally having fun? From finally fitting in with others?" he asked, knowing that the taunt would put Baelfire on edge. He had used the same argument when Baelfire first met him, and Rumple had tried to take Balefire back.

For a moment, he watched as Bae stared at Vin, leaping, spinning, and prancing around the fire, almost deer-like in her movements. He smiled to himself. Watching Baelfire's horror was almost as fun as watching Vin dance

"H-How long has she been dancing?" Baelfire asked, finally bringing up the right questions.

Pan shrugged, as if it didn't matter.

"Some time now," he replied, nonchalantly.

"And when were you going to let her stop?" asked Baelfire, no doubt remembering how Pan could make the Lost Boys dance for hours on end when he was at the camp.

"Maybe when she fainted with exhaustion," he replied, in all seriousness. "Maybe have her get up and dance a little after."

Baelfire looked ready to kill him. But the boy already knew better than to try. He had tried to kill Peter too many times to think he could succeed.

"If I were you, Baelfire," Pan said, getting tired of the game. "I'd leave this camp while you can. A lot of the boys still hold a grudge with you, for what you pulled with the indians. I'm sure many would love to see you pay when I let them stop."

Baelfire shook his head determinedly.

"I'm not leaving without her," he replied firmly.

He tried to pull Vin away again, only to be pushed aside. He landed hard by the fire. Turning his back to Peter, probably so that Peter wouldn't see his frustration. He had done that when he was first brought to Neverland.

Pan snorted at the pathetic effort Baelfire put into it.

"Maybe you should try using Felix's club on her, Baelfire," he taunted. "May have more effect."

Baelfire snorted, and turned to Peter, smiling cheerfully. Peter cocked his head, trying to understand what his grandson was grinning over. Hadn't he made it clear that there was no hope for Vin?

And if he was confident, why turn his back? Baelfire always faced his enemies.

"Nah, I think something else will," he replied.

_This was a trap._

Before Peter could react, something hard and metal smashed into the back of his head, breaking his concentration on the music. At the same time, Baelfire grabbed Vin, and yanked her away from the fire, as he threw something into the flames. No sooner had he pulled her away, the flames suddenly burst everywhere with a thick black smoke, that threw back the other boys.

The reaction was immediate.

Several of the boys were either injured, or confused and dazed from the sudden blast, and from the trance of the music broken so fast.

Vin immediately collapsed, panting with exhaustion. Baelfire was about to pull her up, when she started to vomit.

Peter tried to recover from the sudden injury, only to be hit on the back of the head again. Hard.

"I can't carry her," Baelfire was calling to whoever was behind Peter. They hit him one more time before rushing to help.

Before everything went black, Peter caught the silver gleam of a hook.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay! I've been waiting so long to release this chapter!

As y'all can see, hopefully, it's a real turning point in the fic, so I hope y'all liked it! It started out with this chapter and the last chapter written together, but it was just _way _too long, which is why this chapter is shorter than usual.

Anyways, a special thanks to **BlueSkies95, Ode to a Fangirl, fireman12468, flamegirl100, narisadar, **and **LyrisaLove** for putting this story on alert, and to **fireman12468, narisadar, **and **LyrisaLove **for favoriting _Fading Away_. Also, thank you **Dreamer-Girl96, Ode to a Fangirl, Female whovian, fireman12468, **and RandomGuest for your great reviews. And, as always, thank you to my awesome betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**. I've been getting a lot of positive feedback for this fic, and it really means a lot to me! Thank you so much, guys!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on the music is especially appreciated! **:) **


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I still don't remember what goes here. My doctor says it's called selective amnesia...**

* * *

_Oh, God, what did he do to me?_

That's about all I can think of as I'm half-carried, half-dragged away from the camp. I'm not even sure who is taking me, but it's away from the camp. And if it's away from the camp, I'm good with it.

My legs feel like lead, and I feel like I'm about to faint. It's as if I just ran a marathon, without water, or practice. My body is soaked with sweat, and I can taste sick in my mouth.

I don't remember what happened after the music took over. I don't even remember dancing to it. One moment, the music took over me, as I was distracted. The next, I was on the ground, panting with exhaustion, ready to faint. Next thing I knew, I was being towed away from the camp by someone.

"Come on, lass," a familiar voice mutters. "Don't go swooning on me now."

_The person who's dragging me...I know him._

"Hook?" I mumble, as he drags me away. "What are you-"

"Not now, Jess," another voice hisses. "Wait until we're safe."

_I know that voice too. It's...Bae's voice. What is Bae doing here? With _Hook_?_

Everything seems so wrong, so confusing.

I just want to rest. _To sleep._

I start to drift on, when Hook shakes me a little.

"Not now, love," Hook tells me, as we retreat further from the camp. "Wait until we get you to _The Roger._"

"Or the cave," snaps Bae. "It's closer."

_I'm good with either as long as it's away from here._

"But she can be better protected on The Roger," argues Hook, as we move farther into the clearing.

"She's safer in the cave," Bae replies.

"How is she safer?" Hook asks angrily.

I blink at his tone. I've never heard Hook talk like that to anyone. And, even if he and Bae had a history, I wouldn't expect him to raise his voice to a kid.

"At least she's not with you!" Bae shouts.

_Alright this is getting out of hand. _

"Both of you, stop," I murmur. I want to go on, but I'm too tired.

I'll chew them out later. _After I rest. I am ready to fall asleep here and now._

I think I almost do, when Hook shakes me awake again.

"I know you're tired, lass," he mutters. "But at least stay awake until we get to some place safe."

_Tired? That's an understatement._

I vaguely hear shouts in the distance, and I know who it is. I guess the Lost Boys have recovered pretty quickly.

All three of us share a look, and I can see an agreement silently formed between Bae and Hook.

_Get her out of here first. Then we kill each other. _

I would roll my eyes at them if my eyes weren't threatening to close on me any minute.

They start to drag me further into the jungle, but not in the direction they were headed before. The area seems familiar, but I'm too tired to really know where we're going. But, if they are agreeing, they have some idea of where to go, and they're moving away from the Lost Boys, I'm fine with it.

It isn't until we reach a treehouse with a wooden ladder below that I realize where we are.

"Tink?" Hook calls, as we approach the bottom.

I see her look out from above the treehouse.

"Hook?" she calls down, sounding uncertain. "What are you doing here?"

"No time, love," Hook replies. "Short version: Pan's men are after us. Can you-"

Without a word, Tinkerbell nods, and frantically gestures that we come up.

I try to climb the ladder, as Bae and Hook make me go first. It's hard when all I want to do is just sleep.

As I start to reach the top, Tink helps guide me up, no doubt seeing that I need help. I get into the treehouse, and I see Bae enter just behind me. Hook comes last, and he and Bae start to pull up the ladder.

I just lay on the floor, wanting so badly to fall asleep.

"What's wrong with her?" Tinkerbell asks.

"Pan was able to make her dance," Bae replies. "By the time we got there, she had been dancing for hours."

_Hours? No, it couldn't have been…_

"Here, try this," says Tinkerbell, suddenly dropping next to me.

I see her raise a cup to my lips, and I instinctively drink whatever is inside. It tastes like water, but as soon as I swallow, I feel energy coursing through me.

I blink, my tiredness gone instantly. Whatever Tinkerbell gave me, it was powerful.

"Better?" asks Tinkerbell.

"Yeah," I reply, sitting up. "What was that?"

"Pixie Dust with water," she replies, standing up.

I start at that. It explains my energy burst, but she shouldn't have wasted her Pixie Dust on me.

"You…You didn't use all of it, did you?" I ask hesitantly.

Tinkerbell smiles before shaking her hand. She shows me the phial around her neck, still mostly full of Pixie Dust.

"Just a pinch," she assures me.

I nod, glad. I know she still has magic in her. Keeping the Pixie Dust tells me she believes it too, deep down.

I see Hook and Bae, both watching anxiously from the windows, and watching me.

"Are you alright, lass?" asks Hook.

I nod, standing up.

"Could you run if needed?" he asks, sounding serious.

_He thinks this could be it_, I realize. _He thinks we may be making our last stand here. _

I nod again.

"Let's get you to _The Roger_ then," he says.

"No," Bae and I say at the same time.

Hook looks at me, confused. He understands why Bae is insisting that I not go back with him, but he doesn't know why I'm not.

"Hook, Pan isn't playing anymore," I say insistently. "He...he got control over me. You've taken me away, and he's not going to like that. He's going to do everything he can to get me back."

I hate what I'm saying, but I know it's true.

_The look in Pan's eyes before he forced me to dance...locking me in the cage...he's not trying to convince me that I want to join his group anymore. He's forcing me. _

"If we go to _The Roger_, he's going to kill you, and your entire crew," I say.

_And then he'll take me. He'll lock me in the cage until God knows when, and let me rot. I can't go through that...I can't have Hook and his crew's blood on my hands. I couldn't stand almost having Felix's blood. I won't be able to stand having Hook's. _

_It would kill me. _

"The same goes for you, Bae," I murmur. "If either of you try to take me back, he's going to know."

My eyes meet Bae's, and he nods with understanding. He once was the one that Pan wanted. The one Pan hunted. He knows that he won't stop until I'm back at his camp, locked in a cage, or dancing to his pipes.

"Then we fight," Hook insists. "We take down as many Lost Boys as we can and-"

"And he'll kill us, capture Jess, and we've accomplished nothing but make him angrier," Bae says, cutting him off. "If anything, we need to get Jess to a safe place."

"I...I don't know if there's any place I can go," I admit, shaking my head.

The Western and Northern parts of Neverland are no longer safe. I don't think any place in Neverland that's safe. It's Pan's playground, he knows it like the back of his hand.

"There is one place," Tinkerbell says quietly.

I turn to her, not expecting her to be the one to speak up.

She hesitates for a moment, as if she isn't sure she should say what she's about to.

"Tink?" I ask.

I'm not sure if I want to hear her answer. On the one hand, any place away from Pan is fine with me, but if she thinks it's bad, I may not want to risk it.

"The Echo Caves," she finally says.

"No!"

I turn, startled, looking at Hook. He is glaring at Tinkerbell, and it says something that she's not cowering under his gaze.

"That place is deadly," he says forcefully. "If you think she can survive there-"

"It's only deadly if she tries to leave without revealing her secret!" Tink replies. "Which means that there is no way that Pan can take her. Even if he found someway to make her reveal her secret, he'd have to drag her out, but we know he doesn't set foot in the caves, because he'd have to tell his secret too!"

"And if she reveals her secret, then she's given Pan yet another advantage!" Hook shouts. "I lost half of me crew in that place. Do you think I'm going to just let her walk in and hide there?"

"Stop!" I shout over them.

They both stop shouting, which is a relief. But they're still glaring daggers at each other.

"What exactly are the Echo Caves?" I ask.

Both Hook and Tinkerbell open their mouths to speak, but I know that it will only break into another argument. And with the Lost Boys coming after us, we can't afford that.

"Bae, you explain," I say, pointing at my friend. If he sides with Hook, then I'll have to think of something else besides these caves.

He nods, and warily glances out the window before explaining.

"They're these caves," he starts.

"So I gathered," I mutter sarcastically.

Hook snorts, but Bae just rolls his eyes before continuing.

"They aren't normal, though," he explains. "Once you go in, you can't leave. Not until you reveal your deepest, darkest secret. The thing that you wouldn't dare tell anyone."

I blink, thinking over what he just said.

"What's the harm in that?" I ask. "They don't seem that bad to me."

"Pan hears everything that goes on in the caves, lass," says Hook, still obviously unhappy with the plan. "You reveal your secret, and Pan will know it."

_There's the catch. _

If there is one thing I don't want, it's Pan knowing my secrets. Right now, they are one of the few things I have left that he can't get too. I don't want him to know. To use them against me.

_Just as he used the cage against me to get me to shoot the arrow._

"And if you try to leave without telling your secret?" I ask quietly, already knowing the answer.

"The cave will collapse and kill you," Hook replies bitterly.

So I won't be able to leave until I'm willing to let Pan know my secrets. Meaning I won't be able to leave until I'm sure that I can escape Neverland. I don't know how long that will be. But I will have to be alone.

_It will be like being in the cage again. _

But at least I'll be able to leave when I want. In the cage, I couldn't leave until Pan let me out.

_And if I don't go to the caves, I will go straight back to the cage. I'm not doing that. _

"Take me to the caves."

Hook starts forward.

"Lass, you don't have to-"

"Yes, I do," I insist. "It's the only place Pan can't reach me."

"But-"

I shoot Hook a look.

"Hook, I'm not going back," I say forcefully. "If I have to stay there until I can really get out, then so be it."

Our eyes meet, and he sees that I'm not changing my decision.

_Please, Hook. Please understand. I can't let him get me again. I can't let him control me again. _

Finally, he sighs with resignation.

"Alright," he says. "But I'm taking you."

Bae opens his mouth to protest, but Hook holds up his hand.

"No, Baelfire," he says. "Pan saw you, but he didn't see me. They will be looking for you, but not me. I can get her to safety. You need to get to safety while you still have the chance."

"And leave her with you?" Bae retorts.

The two glare at each other, now letting their differences surface.

"Enough!" I snap.

_Pan could come and kill us all at any moment, and they choose to fight with each other?! This is ridiculous!_

"Bae," I say, turning to my friend. "Hook is right. If Pan knows you helped me, then you need to get away. Pan will be more on the look out for me than for you, but if he finds you he _will_ kill you."

I can see Bae still doesn't like it, and I bite back a sigh of frustration.

"You trusted Hook enough to help rescue me," I insist. "You just have to trust him to get me to safety.  
There is a pregnant pause, but Bae finally nods.

Hook and I put the ladder down, and Bae starts to climb.

He stops and looks at Hook.

"If you sell her to Pan," he says venomously. "I will cut off your other hand, _pirate._"

With that, he finishes his descent, and starts to run. From the window, I see him head away from the treehouse, but not in the direction of the Lost Boys either.

_Stay safe_.

For a minute, I wait for the Lost Boys to shout out something, to start turning after Bae. But they never do. All remains quiet.

"I've known Bae for years, Jess," says Tink. "He was able to evade Pan for a while, after he escaped Pan's camp. He'll be alright."

But Pan would have wanted him alive. Now, Bae is just going to be in the way of what he wants.

"Why did Pan stop searching for him?" I ask absently, trying to distract myself.

Tink shrugs.

"He just stopped one day. He never told me why."

Something about that seems wrong. I know Pan, and he wouldn't just give up. Especially if it was going after someone he wanted. Look at what he's done to get me.

I stand by the window, in silence, praying that Bae will run back, and say it's safer to stick with us. Or, at least, be safe from the Lost Boys.

_Don't die, Bae. I don't want you to die. Not for me. I already hate myself for giving into Pan. I couldn't forgive myself if he killed you because I let you do this. _

Finally, Hook clears his throat.

"Lass, if we want to get to the caves, we need to hurry."

I nod, and force myself to turn away from the window.

Part of me wants to be angry with Hook for having Bae go out there, but I can't bring myself too.

_I almost killed tonight because I was angry at Pan. Pan got control over me because I let that anger. He made me dance because _he _was angry with _me. _It was Hook and Bae's anger at each other that we were so slow getting away. _

_No more anger, no more hate. Not tonight_.

I hug Tink before going.

"Thanks, Tink," I murmur.

To my surprise, she hugs me back.

"Stay safe," she replies. "Both of you."

I never truly realized how much she cared. I considered her a friend, sort of. Pan may trust Tink enough to allow her into his camp, but in the end, I think I trust her also.

I nod, and descend from the treehouse as Hook thanks Tink for the shelter, before he follows me.

I don't hear the Lost Boys, but that only makes me more afraid for Bae.

Hook looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't. It's a shame. I need a distraction.

_Then again, I'm practically putting myself in another cage. I'll have plenty of distractions if it's as bad as Hook makes it out to be. _

"This way, lass," Hook says quietly, leading me away from the treehouse.

I follow him in silence.

Part of me wants to talk, but the other wants to stay on edge. I don't want Pan or the shadow catching us by surprise and dragging me back.

_I can't go back. Not back to the cage. Not back to the music. Not back to...oh, God! _

I realize I say the last part out loud, and Hook gives me a small look.

It's all I need.

I feel like I've cried a lot recently, but I can't help it this time. I break down, and once again, I find myself in Hook's comforting embrace.

_I need to tell him. I don't care anymore, I need to tell someone! _

"He-He threatened Abby. I got her away, but he-he l-locked me in a c-cage, Hook," I choke out, between sobs. "He locked me in it to prove that I'd do anything to be free."

I feel Hook tense. I don't want him to get angry. He doesn't need to be going after Pan for what he did to me.

But I still need to tell him.

"H-He made me fire an-an arrow," I sob. "I did, but I shot to kill. I-I felt so shocked. So scared. So angry. A-And I felt lost. He-He was able to control me. To make me dance. Because I let him control me."

_There. I've said it. Now he knows. He knows that this helpless girl in his arms is really a monster underneath._

I hear him sigh.

_Yes, now he'll walk away. He'll abandon me. I don't blame him. _

"Lass-" he begins gently. _Gently! _

_I'm slowly turning into a horrible person, and he wants to be gentle. I don't deserve that!_

"Did you not hear me?" I shriek. "I. Tried. To. _Kill!_"

I pull away, and refuse to meet his eyes.

"I-I _wanted _to kill," I stammer. "I-I wanted them to pay. I was upset that I _didn't _kill. I-I thought i-it would be alright. I'm becoming a monster, Hook. I'm becoming Pan."

I would continue, but Hook immediately grabs me by the arm, and raises a hand to my chin, making me look into his eyes.

Instead of the anger and fear I expect to see, I only see a seriousness in his eyes.

"Lass, I'm only going to say this once," he says slowly. "You are _nothing_ like Peter Pan."

_How can he say that? After hearing what I've done? What I am?_

"No," he says, cutting me off when I open my mouth to protest. "I don't care what you did. By the sound of it, what you did is something I would have done. Except you immediately regretted it. Pan would do worse without a hint of regret."

_Especially since it isn't possible for him to regret now, _I think numbly, remembering what he told me before making me dance.

"Lass, you cannot let him believe that you are a monster," he continues. "If anything, you are the opposite. You are not Pan, nor a monster."

"Then what am I, Hook?" I ask. "One of Pan's people? A Lost Girl?"

Then, to my surprise, Hook pulls me into another hug. What surprises me even more is how good it feels. For a second, I don't feel alone. And it's wonderful.

"You," says Hook in a soothing voice. "Are a bright, beautiful, brave lass who has suffered more than any person should. And you still came out with your head held high. You have nerves of steel, and what Pan manipulated you into doing does not change who you are. Not in the least. If you were mine, I'd be proud to call you my daughter."

With that, he places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Somehow, through some strange way, his words are able to comfort me. I think somewhere, deep down, he's right.

I tried to kill, but I was remorseful. And because of that, I won't ever try to kill again.

_I'm not a killer. I'm not a monster. I'm just a girl who wants to get home. _

But I can't do that if I wallow like I'm doing now. If I don't pick myself up, then Pan wins. Even if he never captures me, he'll have gotten to me. And I can't let him win.

Hook, sensing me calm down, clears his throat, and pulls back a little.

"Here," he says, reaching in his pocket. "I want you to have this, lass."

He pulls out a chain with a small pendant dangling from it. Looking closely, I see that the pendant is shaped like a butterfly. A beautiful butterfly made of silver, its wings encrusted with pale blue and purple stones.

"It was Milah's," he murmurs. "But, I think she would have wanted you to have it. If she was here, she'd probably insist on it."

My heart melts at what he says. I know how much he loved Milah. For him to give it up. To give this to _me_…

"Oh, Hook," I whisper. "Thank you."

He slowly places the necklace in my hand, and closes my fingers around it.

I have to blink back a tear, as I slip the necklace on. The stones sparkle in the moonlight, and I can't help but marvel at it for a moment.

"Right," says Hook, finally. "We need to keep moving."

I nod, and allow him to lead me away.

It's amazing, but Hook has done the thing I never thought possible: he has made me feel better.

He has reminded me of who I am, and has pulled me back up when I was falling. What's funny is that this isn't the first time he's done it. Somehow, Hook has always been able to do that when I feel down, or scared, or alone. He's openly admitted that he thinks of me as a daughter, and to be honest with myself, I've started to think of him as a sort of father now.

Maybe because he's been there for me when I needed someone. Because he's protected me when I needed help. He cares about me.

Come to think of it, he's more of a father to me than my dad. Dad left me and Abby, and he definitely wasn't there when I needed him. Neither him _or _Mom.

But Hook?

Hook and Bae may have their differences, but they were willing to put them aside to rescue me. At the risk of having Pan come after them.

_All because I ran out onto that one cliff._

I laugh to myself at the last thought.

"What?" asks Hook, looking behind to me.

"Nothing," I reply, shrugging. "Just...well, it's funny. If I never ran out onto that cliff, none of this would ever have happened."

Hook chuckles, nodding in agreement.

"I know what you mean, lass," he says. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gone into the one pub Milah was at. Or if we hadn't gotten our hands on that bean, I wouldn't be here in the first place."

I pause at the last part, frowning.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "What bean?"

Hook looks at me in surprise.

"I never told you?" he asks.

I shake my head, confused.

_What could a bean do to get him all the way here to Neverland?_

"Well," he says. "The Dark One wanted to get his hands on a magic bean, that can make you travel between realms. Only, Milah and I, we got it first. We offered to exchange it for letting us be. But instead…"

He pauses, and I know what he is leading up too. He always pauses when he talks about Milah's death.

"He killed her, and took my hand," he finishes. "Not knowing that the bean was in my other hand. I knew I wouldn't live long enough to find a way to kill the crocodile, so I used the bean to get to Neverland."

I blink, unable to believe my ears. I don't think Hook realizes just what he said.

"So this bean," I start, daring to hope. "It could take you to my world. Or back to yours."

"Aye," replies Hook casually.

_Oh, yeah. He has _no_ idea what he has just told me._

Hook notices my pause, and looks at me with concern.

"Lass? You alright?" he asks warily.

For the first time in a long time, a real smile creeps onto my face.

"Hook," I say, meeting his eyes. "I know how to get out of here."

* * *

**A/N: **Dunh, **Dunh, DUUUNNHHH!**

So, this chapter took me forever to write. Really. I was sitting in front of my document page for months, trying to decide how to approach this. So, I hope y'all liked it.

A special thanks to **katezivaemmajanefan** and **Terra1993 **for putting this story on alert, and to **TheRavenSlayer13 **and **Terra1993 **for favoriting it. Also, thank you, **LyrisaLove, Revengest, Female whovian, Ode to a Fangirl, TheRavenSlayer13, meguhanu, narisadar**, and the white angel for your lovely reviews. And, of course, thank you **Uncommon fairy **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**, my amazing betas! Y'all are awesome!

Okay, before we go any further, who is excited for the new season of Doctor Who? I'm on pins and needles! But, knowing my luck, I'm probably going to be trying to watch it all night, my wifi will crash, and I won't be able to watch it until tomorrow. Ah, well, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Ideas on how Jess's escape plan is going to go, anyone? **:)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I remember now! I don't own...I don't own...darn it!**

* * *

Three days.

That's how long I've been in the Echo Caves. How long I told Hook to wait for me. How long _I've _had to wait to leave the caves. Just long enough to get the Lost Boys tired out by looking for me and finding nothing.

It's strange. When I was alone on the island, but I was free, time seemed to pass normally. When I was in the cage, time flew by, until I couldn't even keep track of the days. Now the days seem to drag on at a snail's pace.

It's certainly no picnic, but the Caves are better than the cage. At least here, I'm not contained. I'm free to move about. I have my privacy.

I also have something to do.

In the cage, it was too cramped to do anything. Here, I practice my magic.

I'm going to be getting out of Neverland soon. I may as well see just how far my powers can go.

However, I always have to stay focused on the bean.

After Hook told me about the bean, it wasn't hard to imagine one. Unlike the things I imagined with Bae, it doesn't collapse on itself, because of its small size. But, it still has a lot of power, and I constantly have to use magic to make sure it doesn't shrivel up and die on me. I tried at first having two beans, one for me and Bae, and one for Hook.

But the amount of effort it took to keep the two alive was tiring me out. I've decided that Bae and I are going to have to use one bean to go with Hook, and he and I will have to find a bean in the Enchanted Forest. Hook was able to find one, so there must be some growing somewhere. Bae and I will find one, and use it.

It may not seem like much, but it is a plan. And I know it will work.

It _has_ to work.

I'm going home. I'm escaping this godforsaken island, and getting back home.

_Home. _

I can't suppress a small smile.

Before, I knew I had to get back, but I had no idea how. Now, I know. And I _am_ getting back home.

_Back to Abby. Back to Roxanne. Heck, I'm even looking forward to seeing Mom again. _

I stand, pacing the Caves.

The sun set about half an hour ago, and I'm waiting for the signal that Hook is leaving the ship, and heading for the island.

This is going to be a very long night. I need to be ready.

I know the Lost Boys are still going to be looking for me. I need to get out of the Echo Caves, find Bae, get us over to Hook's ship,

The problem is that as soon as I reveal my secret, Pan is going to know exactly where I am, and that I'm leaving. And that by leaving, I have some plan to escape.

I'll need to run as hard as I did on my first night here. As fast and as hard as I can, like the devil himself were after me.

In the distance, I hear the sound of a cannon. The signal Hook and I worked out to let me know he's coming. It's time to go.

Time to run one last time.

Taking a deep breath, I turn, looking back into the caves. I know Pan can hear. I may as well say it.

"I know you're listening," I say out loud. "So I'm not going to bother pretending. My deepest secret is something I think we've both known for a long time: I'm scared. I'm scared that somehow, you'll break me. Somehow, I'll become Vin. I'm scared of failing, and being separated from Abby forever. I'm scared that you'll win."

_There. I said it. I told him my biggest secret. It's the last thing Peter Pan is ever going to get from me._

Time to see if I was telling the truth.

I turn around, and walk to the edge of the cave.

I take a small step outside. Nothing happens.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I walk outside the cave.

_I'm free. Point to me._

With a grin, I break out into a run towards Bae's cave.

* * *

Peter turned, startled when he heard the cannon. It had been years-centuries-since he had heard _The Jolly Roger's_ cannon go off.

Around the camp, the Lost Boys stopped playing their games, and looked in the direction where they knew the ship to be anchored.

It had taken Peter a while to calm the boys down. They hadn't liked that Baelfire and Hook had snuck into their camp, injured their leader, and had taken Vin. He had to remind the boys that even if they went after the pirate, or Baelfire, it would not bring them closer to Vin. Vin would have realized that if they separated, they would be safer.

No doubt the pirate was telling Vin it was safe to come out of hiding now.

Which of course was a lie. Pan had the boys looking for her, but he didn't have to worry about Vin running anymore.

She had heard the music. She had given in. A part of her still fought, but she was already on her way of giving into him. No matter what the pirate, or Baelfire may try, Vin had admitted to herself that she was lost. She had taken her first step away from Hook and his grandson, and towards him.

Even if she came out of hiding, all he had to do was play his pipes, and she would come running to him.

_I know you're listening. So I'm not going to bother pretending._

Peter started. It was Vin's voice, but he had heard it in his head. How was that possible?

_Unless...no, the captain wouldn't dare hide her in the Echo Caves…_

_But then again, _he thought_, if she was desperate enough, I wouldn't put it past her to hide there._

Vin's voice came into his head again.

_My deepest secret is something I think we've both known for a long time: I'm scared. I'm scared that somehow, you'll break me. Somehow, I'll become Vin. I'm scared of failing, and being separated from Abby forever. I'm scared that you'll win._

Peter blinked.

He knew that Vin was scared and determined, but he never suspected that she was that terrified of breaking and failing. It seemed that by forcing her to send the little girl away, she had become even more determined to get back home. And now he knew. Now he could use it against her in the game.

But something about this seemed wrong. Vin was hiding in the Echo Caves, and had to tell her secret to get out. Peter knew her secret now. But she _knew_ Peter would be listening. She _knew _he would hear.

Vin never let him know how scared she was, so why reveal it now? All just to leave the caves, which were really her only sanctuary?

_Because she believes she can run away and get away, _he realized. _She's found some way to escape Neverland. And the cannon was a signal that it was time. _

Peter felt his heart plunge.

Vin had tried so many things with her magic. Was it possible that she could have found something to get her back to the Land Without Magic?

_Yes,_ he thought. _Her fear and anger towards me are fuelling her determination. It could help her find a way to escape. A way to get away from him, taking her powerful heart with her._

Peter felt that twinge of fear that he felt when Vin fired the arrow.

_No, she can't escape! I need her heart. I need her magic. I need her to_ break_! I need to control her again._

He sprang to his feet. Vin wasn't getting away. Not if he had any say in it.

"Boys!" he shouted.

Immediately, all focused their attention on him. They were already wary of the cannon; they had waited to see what their leader had to say on it.

"Our Lost Girl seems to be making an escape attempt," he said.

This caused anxious glances and mutters among the boys. Even those who didn't know Vin's true purpose thought that she was going to help save magic somehow.

"The pirate wants to take Vin with him," he continued. "He wants to take our Lost Girl-our sister-away from us. Are we going to let that happen?"

This time, the boys responded with a rousing "No!"

Peter grinned. Vin could run all she wanted, but as long as the boys wanted her to stay, she couldn't leave. Not when she truly belonged to the Lost Ones. Not when she belonged to him.

"Then go out and find her," he ordered. "She is fleeing the Echo Caves as we speak. Find her, and bring her back here! She should be carrying something that will help her leave Neverland. Take it from her and bring it to me. Extra points if you bring her back unharmed."

The effect was immediate. The boys dropped what they had been doing, grabbed their weapons, and took off. Even if those boys who weren't as concerned about Vin and Neverland would go if Peter treated it as a game.

He just hoped they would catch her before the pirate found her.

Then again, there was something he could do about that too.

"Rufio!" he called.

His loyal boy came over. He was one of the few Pan could trust to do what he had in mind. He would have given the job to Felix, but he knew the boy was eager to repay Vin for trying to kill him.

"I have a special job for you."

A grin of anticipation broke out on Rufio's face.

"Vin won't leave without the captain," he explained. "She and him have become dangerously close. Too close. And, I say that the captain has worn out his warm welcome.

I want you to find Captain Jones. And kill him."

* * *

I've run for maybe ten minutes when I hear the Lost Boys yelling in the distance. For a brief, vital moment, I pause and listen.

Yeah, they're getting closer. I guess Pan figured out that I'm running.

_Right. Time to find Bae. _

I imagine a trail leading me to Bae's cave, but invisible to the Lost Boys. Again, a glowing, green trail leads me further into the jungle. Before going, I check the bean, making sure it hasn't started to shrivel. It seems to be alright.

I take off down the trail, towards Bae.

This would be a lot better if I couldn't hear the Lost Boys getting louder. They may be going in the opposite direction of me.

_Great. I'm running towards Bae, and towards the psychos who want to kill me. Just great. _

I try to run a little faster, but it isn't long before I see torch-light in the distance. Without slowing down, I imagine a Lost Boy's cloak and hood over my shoulders and covering my face.

As I start to hear the shouts in the distance, I force myself to slow down to a convincing speed. To be safe, I duck behind a tree, making sure I'm not running straight in the middle of the group.

Remembering the first time I was running from the Lost Boys, I imagine a lantern, and force myself to walk. My heart seems to be trying to escape my chest as I walk past the torches. About twenty feet away from me, I see one of the boys with his hood down.

He barely even glances at me, too intent on looking for a girl, not a Lost Boy. Suddenly, his eyes snap back to me, and I see realization creep onto his face.

_Shoot!_

Once, I would have turned and run, but I've got better at my magic. I imagine tree roots springing from the ground, and tying him up. Especially around the mouth.

"Hey-emph!"

The boy's shout is cut off by the tree roots wrapping themselves around him, and pulling him to the ground. By the sound of it, my root gag is effective.

With a small, satisfied smirk, I continue on, still trying to look natural.

I don't get too far though, when I feel another pair of eyes on me, and hear a shout from behind me.

"That's her! The one carrying the lantern. It's her!"

Without hesitation, I start to run, throwing away my lantern. But it's too late. I can hear the Lost Boys right behind me. It takes all my willpower not to look back.

_Looking back will only slow me down. I need to keep moving. _

If there is one good thing I've gotten out of Neverland, it's that I'm better at running. And right now, it is really helping me. I may not be fast enough to escape Pan, but I can escape these guys.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a boy, with his hood down, closing in on me. I imagine a tree root lifting in front of him, just high enough for him to trip. The next second, I see him fall flat on his face, with a small cry. I try to keep my on my path to Bae's cave, but still zigzag through the trees, trying to throw the boys off. Or, at least wear them out.

I hear one coming behind me, and without bothering to look, I imagine a tree appearing right in front of him. I'm rewarded with the sound of someone slamming themselves into a tree.

As tempting as it is, I can't look back.

_I have to keep going. I can't-_

My thoughts are cut off when comes out from under me, and pulls me up. I cry out in surprise, as I realize I've been caught in a net.

_Just like Snow White when Charming catches her in my story. _

I shake my head telling myself to snap out of it. Remembering my story won't get me out of this.

I imagine a knife, and immediately start cutting at the net.

_I have come too far to be stopped by something that is used to catch fish!_

I hear a confident chuckle that sends goosebumps down the back of my neck. I look away from cutting the neck, to the person standing below me, his hood down. Felix.

_The guy I almost killed. The one who probably wants to kill me now. _

"Hello, Vin," he says, obviously pleased that I'm trapped. I can tell Pan is rubbing off on him.

"Hello, Felix," I reply coolly, refusing to let him see that he is the last person I want to be facing.

_Except, perhaps, Pan._

I try to turn my attention back to cutting the net. I may be trapped, but if I can get out, I may be able to take Felix down. I did it when I first got to Neverland, after all. Then again, he knew Pan needed me alive. Pan may still want me, but I wouldn't put it past Felix to slit my throat and pretend that he never found me.

"That won't work," says Felix. "It has the same magic your cage had."

_Oh, wonderful. A knife won't cut it, then. _

"Then how are you supposed to get me down?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm.

In answer, Felix swipes a knife at a rope wrapped around the tree beside me. With a small cry of shock, I fall down, and land on the ground. Hard.

With a small groan, I try to sit myself up, but Felix already is on top of me, pinning me down. I try to squirm out from under him, only for him to pinch me in the neck. Black bees dance dangerously around my eyes, and I stop struggling.

_I can't faint. Not now. _

"Like that," he says in his monotone voice, answering my question.

He still hasn't put his knife away. He still may be planning to use it.

"Over here!" he shouts, over his shoulder.

My fear lessens a small bit. He wouldn't kill me with witnesses. But, he still has me pinned down. He is still going to take me back to Pan. Back to the music. To the cage. For comfort, I try to feel the bean in my fist, reassuring myself that it is still there.

_I could use it right now. I could get away right now. But, no, I made a promise to Bae. And to Hook. I'm not leaving them behind. _

Felix sheathes his knife (thank God) and forces me to my feet.

"Don't think that I've forgotten that you tried to kill me," he says. "Pan wants you unharmed, for now. But he was very unhappy that you're trying to run. He'll want to punish you. And I'm asking if I can do the honors, Vin."

I feel another shiver run down my spine, and try my best to repress it.

_I need to get out of here._

I'm torn from my thoughts when Felix forces my arms behind my back, no doubt to tie them.

_Wait...if he does that, then he'll see...no. No!_

Before I can do anything, though, I hear Felix laugh, and his fingers enter my fist.

"No!"

I try to pull my hand away but it's too late. Felix forces the bean out of my hand. I turn and immediately try to snatch it out of his hand. Mockingly, he pulls it away. I make a grab at it again, but he still holds it out of reach.

I feel the anger I've been suppressing threaten to boil over.

_That bean is the key to getting me back home. I am not losing it to some stupid psychotic teenager who thinks of this as payback._

"Give. That. Back!" I shout, making a grab with every word.

Felix smirks, and instead puts the bean somewhere in the folds of his cloak. I'm about to jump on him and search his cloak, but I'm grabbed from behind.

Immediately, I start to struggle and kick, but my holder keeps a tight grip on me. Desperate, I start to claw at his hands, but another boy leaps forward and grabs my hands, forcing them together. I try to pull them loose, but he still loops a rope around my wrists, and is able to tie them together. He doesn't have his hood up. That's probably how they planned to find me. All wear their hoods down, because the only one who would be wearing one is the one who is pretending to be a boy.

_No. I have come too far. I'm not going back. Not to the cage. Not to Pan. Not now, when he knows my secret. _

"Felix!" I shout, allowing my desperation to take control. "Please, you have to let me go! I'm begging you! Please!"

The Lost Boy only rolls his eyes, and I feel my heart plunge.

"Vin, I'm going to make _sure_ that Pan throws you back in the cage," he replies, a gleeful menace in his eyes.

_No,_ I think, starting to panic. _I'm not going back. Not to the cage. Not just because he knows it will hurt me._

I blink at the last part. Felix knows I can't go back to the cage. He is threatening me with it because he believes it is the worst thing he can do to me. What if there was something else he thought was _worse?_

"Fine," I say, venom dripping from my voice. "Take me back to the cage. It's better than being forced to sleep with the younger ones. Being forced to hear their cries."

I see Felix's eyes light up eagerly at my words.

About ten minutes later, I'm dragged into the Lost Boys camp, which is empty. I can't sense Pan anywhere, either. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

Before I can decide, I'm roughly thrown down into the room with the younger boys, and I hear the door lock with a click, behind me.

I see the kids sit up in their hammocks in the dim light, and motion them to be quiet. I sit up, and imagine the ropes around my wrists off of me, and on the ground. Once I'm free, I run to the door, and press my ear against it, listening for a guard.

After a few minutes, I hear nothing. I turn back around, and walk over to where Toodles is sitting, a confused look on his face. I try to give him a reassuring smile. I may have been captured, and that may have thrown me off course. But this may actually make this escape better.

"Toodles," I murmur. "How would you like to come with me?"

The confused look doesn't leave my little friend's face.

"What?" he asks.

"I can get out of here," I explain. "Out of Neverland."

I turn to look at the other boys. The other children that Pan captured, trying to find a Dreamer. Toodles. Slightly, Nibs, The Twins.

"I can get us _all_ out of Neverland," I continue. "I can get us away from Pan, and back home. I can take you boys all home with me. Come with me."

I look at all of them, hoping they will hear the pleading in my voice.

_I left these boys behind, once. And I don't care if I have to stay at home and take care of them while Mom is gone; I'm not leaving them behind again._

"If...if we go," says Toodles. "You'll be with your sister, right? With Abby?"

I nod, smiling.

"We'll _all _ be with her," I reply. "We will all be a family."

There is a pause. I wait for them to agree.

I've heard them cry. It's torn me apart every time I've had to endure their crying. I know they hate it here. They'll come with me. They _have _to come with me. Anything is better than this craphole that Pan calls 'home.'

"So, Abby will take you away from us?" asks Slightly, hesitantly.

I blink in surprise. That was not the answer I expected.

"What? No," I reply.

Why would he think that?

"If you go, Vin, Abby will only take you away from us," insists Slightly. "Just like she has this entire time."

"What?" I ask, startled. "No, that's not-"

"You've tried to leave us since you came here," mutters Nibs. "All so that you can get back to Abby."

"You tried to abandon us, so you could get back to Abby," Slightly adds, bitterly.

I look at each of their faces, hoping that they aren't saying what I think they are saying. But it's the same hard expression in every face. Even Toodles looks like the others.

"No,"I say. "That's not...Toodles, please."

I just see the small boy shrug.

"When she came on the island, you would hide and spend time with her," he points out. "But not us. If we go with you, Vin, she'll just take you away from us. Again."

"Boys," I try to insist. "It's not like that. It's…"

I suddenly stop, realizing what Toodles just said.

"Wait…"I murmur. "What did you call me?"

Toodles looks puzzled. All the boys do.

"Vin," he repeats. "That's your name, isn't it?"

It's as if my heart stops.

_No...no, please...no…_

_Anything but this. _

"Toodles," I whisper. "That's not my name."

"Yes, it is," says one of the Twins, reassuringly. "Peter explained it to us. Jess was Abby's sister. Vin is _our _sister. _You're_ Vin."

_No...no…_

I stand up, and look at all of them. I try searching for something-anything-that tells me that I'm wrong. That this isn't happening.

"Boys, please," I beg. "Please, come with me."

"You're our sister, Vin," insist Slightly, looking confused again. "_You_ need to stay. You can't let Abby take you away from us. _You_ need to stay with _us_."

_Oh, God...no…_

They don't realize how serious it is. How I can't be Vin.

I don't want to leave them. I can't leave them.

But I made a promise. And if I stay, knowing I broke that promise, I know Pan will break me.

I won't let that happen.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, tears pooling in my eyes. "But I can't."

I force myself to look away from them, and imagine a door beside me. An exit out of here.

The boys see this, and realize what it means. Their faces contort with fear.

"PETER!" shouts Slightly, at the top of his lungs. "PETER, VIN IS ESCAPING! VIN IS-"

Without thinking, I imagine vines binding themselves over all the boys, tying them to their hammocks, over their feet, over their hands, and over their mouths.

They all stare at me, their eyes laced with worry, fear, and sadness. But my eyes meet Toodles', and I see something else. Betrayal.

_He trusted me to look after him. Trusted me to protect him. To be his sister. And I betrayed him. _

"I-" I murmur, but a choking sob cuts me off.

_Oh, God…_

"I'm so sorry," I get out.

Hating myself with my entire being, I force myself to walk to the door, open it, and climb out.

_I need to get out. Get away from here. Away from Pan. Back to home. With Abby. _

The boys, if they believed what Pan convinced them to, would have stopped me.

But this does nothing to stop a tear from falling down my cheek.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, I feel like a horrible person for doing that. Poor Jess.

A special thanks to **SansaFort **and **thewritershavetheTARDIS** for putting this story on alert, and to **SansaFort, thewritershavetheTARDIS, Pan'sLostGirl, **and **heboosh** for favoriting it. Also, a special thanks to **LyrisaLove, Ode to a Fangirl, meguhanu, SansaFort, **and **Dreamer-Girl96** for leaving awesome reviews! And, of course, thank you **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms, **my amazing betas!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Things are really heating up here, so let me know what y'all think. **:)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own...I don't...dang it! There goes my twenty bucks...**

* * *

As soon as I'm out of the tree, I take a deep breath, doing everything I can to recover from what just happened.

I endured their crying for so long, wanting to stop it. And, now I'm going to be the reason they are crying.

_Because I'm leaving them. The person they trusted to take care of them is abandoning them. _

_Because I have too. I have to get out of here. I can't stay. I can't go back to the cage. I can't let Pan break me._

Surprisingly, there aren't any boys hanging around the tree. No guards to catch me and throw me back with the younger ones.

_They don't expect me to come out, _ I think bitterly. _They think __I won't abandon them. _

I shouldn't leave them. They need me to look after them. I _can't_ leave them.

_But if I stay, Pan will break me. I know he will. He got a taste of controlling me, and now he won't let me go. He liked that taste too much. _

I savagely force the thoughts aside, and let my sixth sense take over. The bean is very, very powerful. If there is anything my sixth sense can pick up, it will be this bean.

I slip into the shadows around the camp as I try to sense something. I would rather not the Lost Boys that are here to find me and put me back in with the younger boys.

I don't know if I would be able to face them if I was thrown back in…

I suddenly sense something magical. Something good, strong, and beautiful.

_The bean. _

I follow what I'm sensing, feeling it getting stronger with every step. It must be close.

Cautiously sneaking around the camp, I start to feel the magic coming from a tree. There must me some sort of underground room, like with the younger boys.

_Who I'm abandoning…_

As quietly as possible, I move to the tree, and climb down the steps at the base of the trunk. I open the door, and see what looks like some sort of storeroom, smaller than the younger boys' tree room.

_That I left them tied up in, so that I could run. Oh, God…_

Trying to tell myself to focus, I start searching the shelves. I find glass phials of Pixie Dust, some sort of strange red dust labelled 'Poppies', and a thick black ink labelled "S. I."

_Squid Ink. Yeah, I think Bae might have mentioned that. How it can freeze Pan. _

Not finding the bean, I search the shelves again, but find nothing.

_No, _I think, feeling panic rise within me. _No, it has to be here. It's got to be here. I felt it._

Desperate, I start feel around the corners of the room, looking for hidden doors, or shelves.

Nothing.

I stand up, trying everything I can to hold back a scream.

_I'm an idiot. Of course it wouldn't be here. It's the key to getting me out of Neverland; they wouldn't just put it in their unguarded storerooms. I was only sensing the Pixie Dust!_

So, where is the bean then?

_With Pan, most likely. He would only trust himself to keep it from me._

How did I miss this? Screw it, how did this happen?

_You still are emotional from what happened with Toodles and the others, _a voice says in the back of my mind. _It's clouding your judgement; blinding you._

I want to cry at the thought. I don't want to leave them.

I hate myself for leaving them. Even more so, I hate Pan. He kidnaps me, threatens me and Abby, and tries to break me. But then, he brainwashes kids-innocent kids-into believing that I can't leave.

And now he has the bean that will get me out of Neverland.

_Wait…_

A desperate, half-formed plan comes into my mind. It may not work. Probably won't.

_But if it does…_

It may be my only chance.

Praying that I'm right, I grab a few phials, and rush out of the storeroom, having my sixth sense take over again. I pause before I get moving, preparing myself. This is the last thing that I want to do, but it's my only option.

I need to find Pan.

_Never thought I'd think that. _

If he wasn't holding the bean, I'd be running in the opposite direction. But I need to find him. To get the bean. To get back home. To get back to Abby.

For the first time, I'm glad when I get the dark, twisted feeling that I've learned to associate with Pan. I start to run, making sure the feeling gets stronger.

_I'm running _towards _Pan. This is so wrong._

It takes me a little to realize that I'm heading towards the Pixie Dust tree. Why would Peter be there, of all places?

Does it matter? I'm going to be getting out of here, so does it really matter?

_Not really._

"You know if you wanted to find me, you could have just asked."

I jump, and turn to look behind me. Pan is leaning on a tree, smirking.

_Seriously, is that smirk permanent? _

I want to go through with the plan. I want so badly to. But there is no way I can. Not after what he's done.

"How could you?" I ask, my voice hoarse from holding back the sobs from when I left the boys.

Pan simply smirks even more at this. He knows what I'm talking about. How he turned the younger boys against me. How he forced me to choose between them and Abby.

"How could I not, Vin?" he replies, as if it were obvious. "It was one of the few ways that I know will get to you. One of the few things that I know will make you _want _to stay. Is that so bad, Vin?"

"Don't. Call. Me. Vin!" I snap.

_I hate that name. Especially now, when it was used against me. Used by the younger boys against me. _

He cocks an eyebrow in surprise.

"Those are tears, aren't they?" he asks, pointing at my eyes.

I blink, but that's as good as confirming it. _Yes, I'm crying. Why wouldn't I?_

"You regret leaving the boys, Vin. You know you don't want to," he says. "So why leave?"

_I hate him. I hate him so much. I want to kill him here and now…_

"They'll be sad without you, you know," he says in a mockingly concerned voice. "Losing their sister. Couldn't you consider staying, Vin? For them?"

He's trying to tempt me. Trying to pull me over. I won't do it. I refuse to stay here. With him.

_But the boys need me…_

_But Abby needs me too. _

"Stop manipulating me!" I shout. "I made up my mind long ago; I'm not staying!"

"Well, why not?" asks Pan, sounding genuinely curious.

_Why not? Why not?!_

I feel everything that's happened since the shadow took me pour over. I may leave, but not before I tell him exactly how I feel.

"Why not?" I repeat, incredulously. "Why not?! You. Kidnapped. Me.

"You kidnapped Abby! You took my baby sister, just because you wanted to see if I was a Dreamer who was powerful enough to do you work! You've tried reducing me to a weapon, an object. You even try to rename me, because somehow, you've got it in your head that you own me!"

I'm now shouting, but I don't care anymore.

"You purposely make me get to know kids who need me, so that I'll be distracted from Abby, and always feeling guilty. You hunted me down like an animal, and have tried to isolate me, so that I don't trust anyone but you! You've hurt the people I care about; the people I love. You toss me in a cage like I'm your goddamned _pet. _From the beginning, you've manipulated me, hurt me, threatened me, never once bothered to try to kiss me, treated me like a-"

Pan suddenly teleports in front of me, grinning.

"What was that?" he asks grinning.

I blink, and try to hide my shock. I really, really didn't want to say that.

_But I kinda had to. _

"So, you want me to kiss you?" he asks, looking like Christmas came early.

_Oh, God. He likes this. He's going to, I know it..._

"N-No," I stammer. "Th-that's not-"

Pan cuts me off, cupping my face with one hand, clearly enjoying this new hold he has over me. His hand is icy cold, and I shudder at his touch. If he can tell I'm shaking, he doesn't say anything.

Suddenly, beneath the dark feeling I get from him, I sense the bean. He has it.

"How 'bout a little deal, Vin," he says, his voice becoming seductively low. "I kiss you, and you stay."

_In your dreams, fly boy._

"If you think-" I start, but I'm cut off when Pan pulls me forward with one hand, and kisses me on the mouth.

Every girl talks about the first kiss being a magical thing, but I'm just scared to death.

His kiss is not a warm, gentle, or passionate kiss. It's cold, hard, and possessive.

_Like I'm already his toy, and he owns me. He can play with me whatever way he wants. _

_God, why am I shaking so much?_

It's only after he stops that I realize that I hadn't breathed through that entire thing.

He cups my face again, forcing me to look into his eyes.

"Well?" he asks, in his seductive voice.

I blink, and look down. That's when I see it. Around his neck, on a chain, like the butterfly necklace I'm wearing now. The bean.

I look up, and allow myself to smile, triumphantly. The smile only grows at his confused look.

"I prefer the acorn," I reply, remembering the story of what happened when Wendy tried to give Pan a kiss.

Pan blinks, not understanding the reference.

Then, a purple glow starts to surround his lips, and slowly grows around him. His eyes grow wide with realization, just as the glow encases his face, then his body, freezing him in place, the squid ink taking full effect.

With a grin, I yank the bean from around his neck, and pull, breaking the chain. I use the back of my hand to wipe away the last of the squid ink from my lips, and give him a short, mocking bow.

"Good game, Peter Pan," I say. "But you lost."

I'm tempted to hit him before going, just to make him pay for what he did to me with Toodles. With the cage, and music. But hitting someone when they're frozen seems wrong, even with Pan.

With one last grin, I imagine a trail leading me too Bae or Hook, whoever is closer, and take off running, leaving Pan frozen behind me.

It isn't until I'm too far away to sense him that I break out laughing.

_I….just kissed Peter Pan. And used it to freeze him._

Well, more he kissed me, but still, that was great!

Not that he kissed me, but that I was able to beat him at his own game. He wanted to manipulate me; to get under my skin. To control me again. I let him think that he could by kissing me.

He thought he was manipulating me, but really, I was manipulating him. And now, I have the bean.

As soon as I find Bae and Hook, we can get out of here. We can go home.

I see the trail coming towards the end at a clearing. I see a leather clad figure anxiously pacing across, as if waiting for someone.

_I guess Hook was closer. _

"Hook!" I call out, running into the clearing.

He turns and sees me, and relief floods his face.

"Lass?" he asks, as I come into plain view. "Thank the gods, are you alright?"

I nod, eagerly.

Hook looks me up and down, like he always does when we meet, checking to see if I'm hurt.

"What happened?" he asks. "I've waited over an hour and half, but when neither you are Baelfire appeared, I started to get worried."

"Things got complicated on the way to Bae," I reply. "The Lost Boys caught up to me, and took the bean away. But, I was able to get it back; look."

I hold out the bean for him to see. While it was with Pan, it has started to shrivel up again, so I have to restore it to normal.

Hook picks it up, and examines it.

"Is it like the one that you used?" I ask.

I want to be sure. I can't fail with this bean.

"Aye," replies Hook. "Exactly the same. It even has that feeling when you touch it, of knowing it will take you where you are thinking of."

I breathe a sigh of relief. It should work then.

"How did you get it back?" Hook asks, sounding curious.

I can't suppress a grin, as recall what I did only a few minutes ago.

"I may have tricked Pan into kissing me while I had squid ink on my lips," I reply innocently.

Hook's eyes widen with surprise, and he starts to laugh the same way I did.

"You didn't?" he asks, sounding half in awe, half amused.

"I did," I reply. "I know; I can't believe I did it either."

Hook just shakes his head before handing me back the bean.

"Only you would do that, lass," he mutters as I take the bean. "Only you. I can see why Pan wanted you so badly."

"Don't worry," says someone from behind. "He still wants her. We all do."

Hook and I turn, startled, as Rufio emerges from the clearing, a wicked grin on his face. Immediately, Hook steps defensively in front of me, his hand on his sword hilt, as if waiting to pull it out. If I thought I was scared when I met Felix, that has nothing on what I feel when I see Rufio.

_I almost killed his brother. He was the one who made me dance. _

"You should go back, boy," says Hook, seriously. "I don't want to kill a lad, but I will if you try to take her."

I can't help but be surprised at this. For all of Hook's anger and hate towards Pan, he doesn't want to hurt Rufio. I never thought I'd see that in him.

Rufio, however, just smirks.

"Well then we have a problem, Captain," he says. "See, I'm not here for the girl. I'm here for you."

Hook glances at me, but I'm just as confused as he is.

"You and Vin have gotten pretty close, Captain," Rufio continues. "Pan isn't pleased by this. He thinks that it's about time that you rejoined the rest of your crew."

I see Hook's hand grasp the hilt of his sword, his knuckles white with tension.

"Hook?" I ask quietly.

"If Pan wants to kill me, he'll have to do it himself," Hook says to Rufio, not looking at me.

I can tell that Hook is trying to stay calm, but I can hear the anger in his voice. Rufio shrugs.

"Sorry," he says. "That honor goes to me. And killing you in front of Vin will be payback for what she did to my brother."

I feel my heart stop at this.

_He means it. He is willing to kill Hook to get payback on me. _

"If you want revenge, Rufio," I whisper. "Then keep it between you and me. Hook wasn't the one who fired the arrow."

"I know," replies Rufio, casually. "But the captain has killed many of our men. He invaded our island. Even now, he is trying to take Pan's precious Dreamer away. I think it's time he got his wish. Even if it means abandoning you, Vin, he won't object to being reunited with his Milah."

At this, Hook draws his sword with an angry yell, and charges at Rufio. Immediately, Rufio pulls out his own blade, and deflects Hook's blow.

"Hook!" I shout, imagining a knife for me.

_I don't care about the cost. I don't care if I have to cross the line that I swore I wouldn't, I'm not letting Hook die. _

But as I run to help, Hook shoves me aside, as he dodges Rufio's jab at him.

"Stay out of this, lass!" he yells, striking at Rufio.

I ignore him, and try to get in the fight again, only to be pushed to the ground by Rufio, with a blow that knocks the wind out of me.

As I try to refill my lungs, I see Hook desperately avoiding Rufio's blade, as if the tiniest of cuts could kill him. Rufio seems to have realized this as well, pushing Hook back as he tries to cut Hook anywhere on his bare skin. For the first time, I see fear flash in Hook's eyes.

_No. I'm not letting this happen. I won't let Hook die. _

Hook barely avoids getting cut across his face by a strike. Rufio nearly had him.

Suddenly, I remember the night I read _The Princess Bride _to the Lost Boys. How I threw the knives at Pan because I was angry at him. How I almost hit him.

_Maybe...Oh, please let this work. _

I grasp my knife, getting ready to throw it.

"Hook, get out of the way!" I shout.

Luckily, Hook obeys without hesitation, just as Rufio makes a long swipe with his blade. I throw the knife, not at Rufio, but at his hand.

What happens next happens so fast that I could miss it if I wasn't watching. My knife barely misses Rufio's hand, but as it spins over his hand, it cuts him across his fist. It's enough for Rufio to cry out in shock, and drop his sword. Immediately, Hook drops his own sword, and grabs Rufio's.

Without second thought, he plunges it into Rufio's chest with an enraged yell.

For a single second that seems to take forever to pass, all three of us stare at the sword in shocked silence. Then, Rufio crumbles to the ground, clutching his chest. In that second, I don't see the angry, vengeful Lost Boy who made me dance, and tried to kill Hook. I see a scared boy who is dying.

With one hand he clutches the wound, holding out his other hand. I don't even stop to think; I immediately kneel next to him and take his empty hand. Hook stands to the side, still looking like he's in shock.

Rufio's eyes meet mine, and I again see the scared, confused boy behind them. And despite everything he's done to me, I know I can't bring myself to leave him. To let him die alone. That is a fate I wouldn't wish on the worst of my enemies, even Pan.

I hear him cough, as if choking on his own blood.

"Hey, it's okay," I murmur gently. "It's okay."

At my voice, Rufio stirs slightly, and makes another sound, as if trying to speak.

"F-Felix," he manages to get out. "I...want...Felix."

_Oh, God, how am I supposed to respond to this? How can I tell him that the person he wants-needs-the most isn't here? That it is only the two people he wanted to kill with him._

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "He isn't here. I'm so sorry, Rufio."

At this, his eyes light up, as if remembering something.

"S-S-Sebastian," he chokes out.

I shake my head, confused.

_Who is Sebastian? Another Lost Boy? A friend from before he and Felix were taken to Neverland? _

"I'm sorry," I whisper again. "I don't know who Sebastian is."

Rufio shakes his head slightly, and holds my hand even tighter.n

"No," he says. "My...name...Sebastian. Before...Pan...took us. Felix…held out...longer...but didn't...resist...Pan changing...his name...so he got to keep it...but...I…"

He cuts off, coughing and choking, a small dribble of blood falling from his mouth. He doesn't need to finish, though. I can fill in the blanks. He resisted his name getting changed, like I did. He tried to insist that he was Sebastian. So when he finally gave in, he became Rufio. Just like how I would become Vin if I gave in.

"Please…" Rufio whispers. "I...don't want to die...as Rufio...I want to die as...Sebastian."

With that, I give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"It's alright," I murmur. "It's alright...Sebastian."

I see a flicker of light, or joy somewhere in his eyes, before they stare off into nothing. I feel his hand go limp in mine. With a small gasp, I gently pull my hand from his grip, as if not to wake him.

Feeling it would only be right, I slide two fingers across his eyes, and close them. With his eyes closed, he truly looks different from the Lost Boy I knew.

_Untroubled, innocent, peaceful. _

He doesn't look like Rufio at all. Maybe, this was what he looked like as Sebastian, before Pan took him. Before he gave in.

_Yet, at the last moment, he was resisting Pan. He was free of Pan's hold on him, in the end. _

_He wasn't Rufio in the end. He was Sebastian. _

I don't know if I really ever cared for him the same way I care about the Lost Boys. He helped Pan hurt me too many times to count. Yet, he died free of Pan. In spite of all he did to me, I can't help but admire him for that.

I stand up, letting him go.

"Good-bye, _Sebastian_," I whisper.

I take a deep breath, and turn to Hook, who seems to have recovered.

"Come on, Hook," I say. "I can't stand being on this island any longer."

* * *

**A/N: **Well, that was eventful. The first kiss, Rufio's death...

For those of you who may be confused. Jess had taken one of the phials of squid ink, and put on her lips like lip-gloss after she left the storeroom. That's how the squid ink was on her lips when Pan kissed her. Anyway, I hope y'all liked the scene!

A special thanks to **hic-sunt-dracones, SlytherinBlonde, **and **asdfghjkl292** for putting this story on alert, and to **SlytherinBlonde **for favoriting Fading Away. Also, thank you **Ode to a Fangirl, scorpiongirl92, meguhanu, asdfghjkl1292, SansaFort, **and fhfkjk for reviewing. And, of course, a special thanks to my awesome betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**! You guys are all amazing; thank you so much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Rufio's death and the kiss are especially appreciated.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I remember! I don't own OUAT! Wait, I don't? Well, now I know why I wanted to forget in the first place.**

* * *

I imagine a trail leading to Bae, and Hook and I follow it in silence. There really isn't much either of can say. Not that we really want to say anything.

It's not that I'm angry at Hook. I understand that he did what he had to do when he killed Rufio-_no, Sebastian- _and that he would have died if he didn't. Just as he would have died if I hadn't thrown the knife. I can't blame myself for what happened after. I was helping Hook, I wasn't trying to kill.

Not like I did when I fired that arrow at Felix.

But still, I can't help replaying the scene in my mind over and over. How Hook kept having to duck out of the way of Sebastian's sword. And the first thing he did when Sebastian dropped his sword was drop his own and use Sebastian's instead.

"Why did you use his sword?" I murmur, breaking the stoic silence.

Hook glances at me, but doesn't answer.

_Not answering me. That's not like Hook. He must be taking this harder than I thought._

"Hook," I prod.

Normally, I wouldn't push it. But...I don't know. Maybe it's that Sebastian died telling me who he truly was. Maybe it's just that I was there. Either way, something inside me needs to know why he had to die by his own sword.

Something about that just seems wrong. It wouldn't be something that Hook would do. He believes in good form too much. Killing a boy by his own sword, no matter how provoked, doesn't seem like a line he would cross.

Hook stops and sighs, running his hand through his hair, as if he's trying to gather his thoughts. I don't say anything, but I do give him a pensive look.

"I did it for the dreamshade," he finally replies.

"The what?" I ask, unfamiliar with the term.

"Dreamshade," he replies. "A rare poison that grows on this island. You get scratched with it, and you're dead. Pan always has his boys lace their weapons with it."

That explains why he was so desperate to not be touched. And why he took Sebastian's weapon over his own.

_Dreamshade must have been what Pan dipped those arrows in,_ I realize. _It must have also been the poison I threw at him all that time ago._

"Is there any antidote?" I ask.

It's not that I want to know if Sebastian could have lived. Even if Hook used his own sword, Sebastian would die from being stabbed in the chest. But, I'm curious to know how Pan expects his boys to survive, especially considering how much the boys fight.

"Aye," says Hook quietly. "There's a special water that you can drink that will save you. But, there's a price. Once you drink the water, you're bound to Neverland. You can't leave without dying."

I shudder at the thought.

"I'd rather take the poison," I mutter, being totally honest.

_Dying would be better than having to spend eternity with Pan. Knowing that I couldn't escape. Couldn't be free. That Abby would be out there somewhere, waiting for the sister that could never come..._

I see Hook nod, but his eyes have some far off look in them.

_There's something he's not telling me. Something he doesn't want to tell. _

But, that can wait. I'm going to be spending plenty of time with him when we look for the bean in the Enchanted Forest. If he wants to tell me, he'll probably do it there.

"Aye, lass," he says. "Me too."

We continue to walk on in silence, until the trail ends at Bae's cave.

I immediately rush forward, a feeling of relief pouring over me. After everything that's happened tonight, with the little ones, with Pan's kiss, with Sebastian dying, I'm glad I'll be able to see a friendly face. Bae's especially.

"Bae!" I call out, rushing forward. "Bae, it's me!"

I run to the vine that open the cave door, and start to pull. Hook immediately comes and gives me a hand (literally). As soon as the door is open high enough for me to get through, I crawl through the small opening into the cave.

"Bae?" I call again.

I imagine the torch that lights the cave burning, and I can see Bae stretching from the alcove where he usually sleeps. I guess I woke him up.

"Jess?" he murmurs, slowly rising to his feet. "What is it? I thought you were at the caves."

"Yeah, I was," I reply, walking over to him. "But I left. Bae, I can get us out of Neverland."

That does the trick. Immediately, all signs of sleepiness are gone, and Bae's posture becomes more alert.

"How?" he asks.

In answer, I open my hand, showing him the bean. His eyes widen, as he takes in what is.

"Jess.." he whispers. "That's not...you didn't…"

"Yeah," I answer, grinning. "It's a magical bean."

I can't help but feel a small surge of pride at that. I was able to imagine a bean. _I_ was.

"Then come on," says Bae, a grin of his own spreading across his face. "Use it."

"No, not right now," I reply, shaking my head. "We're going to take it to _The Roger_, that way Hook can get home, too. Then, we'll find a bean in the Enchanted Forest and use that."

At this, I see Bae's face fall. I sigh, realizing what's coming.

"Look, Bae," I start, bracing myself for the storm. "I know you don't like Hook. I get that. Heck, I can understand why you don't. But, Bae, this could be our only chance to get out. Pan already knows that I made this bean. Once we're out, we can decide whether or not we stay with Hook. But, if we're ever going to get out of Neverland, we need to trust Hook, and leave _now._"

I see something flash in Bae's eyes, and I can't tell if it's hatred or anger. Probably both.

"I'd cut off my own hand before I trust that pirate," he practically snarls.

I roll my eyes.

_Why does this kid have to be so stubborn about everything?_

"Bae, you were able to trust him to rescue me," I insist. "Why can't you trust him now?"

"That was different," Bae replies. "I knew he'd be willing to help me save you. But not with this."

I shake my head, trying so hard not to scream in exasperation.

"Bae, I've spent almost as much time with Hook as I have with you," I say, trying to keep my voice level. "If there's one thing I've realized, it's that he wants to get out of Neverland just as much as you do."

"I'm not talking about getting out of Neverland!" shouts Bae. "I'm talking about afterwards. Jess, he's tricking you; don't you see that? The fairy who gave me the bean told me that it was the last one they had. Hook knows that.

"If we go, we're just going to be trapped in the Enchanted Forest. And after that, do you think he's going to let us go? He cares about you, Jess; anyone can see it. He's not going to just let you leave. You're never going to get home if you trust him."

_Oh my God, why does this kid have to be so stubborn? _

"Bae, listen to me," I say insistently. "I have gone through too much tonight. I have had to leave behind kids who were relying on me. I have watched someone die. I am leaving tonight, and I promised you we would get out together. So, please, for once, forgive Hook enough for us to get away."

Bae shakes his head. I want so badly to push it, when I pause. I see something in his eyes. The same stubbornness that I have felt since Pan started calling me 'Vin.' That refusal to acknowledge, no matter what someone does for you, you can never truly forgive them for what they have done to you.

_I can't push him, _I realize. _No matter what, he's never going to let go of his anger at Hook. _

"Please, Bae," I whisper. "Don't do this. You're like a brother to me. I can't leave you, especially here. Come with me."

I already hate myself for leaving the younger boys. I don't know if I can live with myself if I leave Bae behind.

_But I have to go. Before Pan finds me, and locks me in the cage, only taking me out when he wants me to dance…_

I see Bae shake his head.

"Can't you just make two beans, and give one to Hook?" he asks.

"No," I reply, shaking my head. "It takes too much energy."

Bae nods, then sighs.

"Get out of here, Jess," he says. "Get home. Get back to Abby. Get out before Pan catches you again."

He means it. He isn't going to go. He won't leave with Hook involved. If I had any other choice, I would just insist that Hook come with us to my world, but I know he won't accept that.

I can't leave Bae behind. But I can't stay. But he won't come. So, instead of arguing, I pull the little stubborn brat into a tight hug.

"I swear," I whisper. "I swear, I will get you out of here. If I have to get the shadow to take me back to get you out of here, I will. I'm going to get you out."

Bae responds by hugging me back.

"I know you will," he mutters. "But be careful. Don't trust Hook."

We part, and look each other in the eyes.

"Good-bye, Jess," he says, holding out his hand.

I look at his hand, then back at him.

"Never say 'good-bye,'" I reply, remembering another Peter Pan quote. "Saying good-bye means going away and forgetting. And I'm not forgetting about you, Bae. This isn't good-bye. I _will_ get you out of Neverland."

I take his hand, but instead of shaking it, I pull him into another hug. Part of me doesn't want to let go, but I know time is running out.

"Take care of yourself, until then," I whisper.

"I will," Bae replies. "I promise."

I want so badly to tell him that I love him, the same way I do Abby. But that would make seem all too final. Like this is truly good-bye. But this isn't.  
_I don't care if I have to get the shadow to take me back, and tie up every Lost Boy. I will get my brother out of this._

We part, all too soon in my opinion, and I'm suddenly aware of Hook calling to me from outside the cave. I turn, and glance back at Bae, apologetically.

"It's okay," he mutters. "But, Jess, whatever you do, don't trust him."

"And you," I reply. "You be careful."

I go to the edge of the cave, and turn to get one last look.

"I will get you out this, I promise," I insist.

"I know you will, now go!" calls Bae.

I force myself to leave the cave. This isn't good-bye. I know that. But still, that doesn't make leaving Bae any easier.

It's as if the guilt I felt for leaving the younger boys doubles. I'm leaving him behind. I know I shouldn't; that I should insist that Hook knock him out and take him with us. But I won't do that. Not to Bae.

As I emerge, I see Hook waiting anxiously.

"The Lost Boys are starting to search all over," he says, as soon as he sees me. "They must have realized what happened to Rufio."

"Sebastian," I mutter, correcting him.

Hook blinks, as if surprised, but continues.

"Aye," he says. "Either way, we've got to get moving. They'll-"

He cuts off, realizing now that I came out alone.

"Where's-" he starts, but I shake my head, trying hold back tears.

"He's not coming," I mutter.

_I'm going to go back. I don't care what it takes, I'm going to come back and save Bae. _

I see Hook look at me sympathetically, but I brush it off. I don't need sympathy. Not now. Not when I feel so guilty.

"Oh, lass," he says. "I'm sorry."

I let his apology wash over me. What he says won't change the fact that I feel like a horrible person for what I'm doing.

"Come on," I whisper. "Let's just get out of here. Let's go home."

Hook opens his mouth, as if he wants to say something, but he seems to think better of it. That's good. I don't need a pity party right now.

"Alright, lass," he says. "Let's go home."

He looks back out in front of us, and I know he's thinking the same thing I am. We're not going to be able to reach _The Roger _in time. Not without running into the Lost Boys, who have no doubt found Pan and Sebastian. And I don't think that Hook wants to kill any more boys tonight.

"Don't worry. I have a quicker way than walking," I say, reaching into my pocket.

With a small smile, I pull out the Pixie Dust phial I swiped in the store rooms. Hook looks at it, but shakes his head.

"I told you, lass," he says. "It won't work on me. I'm an adult, remember?"

"It doesn't matter," I reply with a shrug. "You just have to believe. And trust me, Hook, when I say that I believe."

_After all that's happened to me, ever since Abby got taken, I'd be a fool not to. _

With that, I uncork the phial, and once again, the green dust surrounds me and Hook. I see his eyes widen as we start to hover off the ground.

"Come on," I say, reaching out my hand. "Let's go home."

With a small, amazed laugh, Hook takes my hand, and allows me to focus on flying to _The Roger_. As we fly, I close my eyes, and take in the feeling. This is the last time I'll be able to truly fly. It may be the only thing I will truly miss in Neverland.

_Except for the boys and Bae. Those who I am abandoning_.

_But I'm not abandoning Bae,_ I tell myself. _I am coming back for him as soon as possible._

"Lass?"

Hook's voice comes over the loud wind that whips past us as we fly. I open my eyes, and I see that we are about twenty feet from _The Roger_ and still pretty high up. Frantically, I start to focus on landing on the deck of the ship. Our landing definitely isn't soft, but after spending three days locked in a cage, I've learned to endure.

"So that's flying," Hook says, as he helps me up.  
"Amazing, isn't it?" I ask, handing him the bean.

He glances down at it, and back at me.

"Take us home, Hook," I say, smiling.

With a grin, he takes the bean and hurls it at the water. Immediately, a large whirlpool forms where the bean lands. That must be the portal.

"Alright, lass and lads," cries Hook, as he runs towards the helm. "Hold on tight. It's time to go home!"

I twist my arms around one of the ships many ropes, and can't help but join what's left of the crew in shouting in joy.

_Back home. Back to plain, boring, wonderful home. Back to Abby, Mom, Roxanne.._

I steal one last glance at Neverland. I went through so much, suffered so much in this place. But, I admit, part of me is going to miss it.

_But I will return. For Bae, I'll return._

That's when I feel it. The dark, twisted sense, growing rapidly stronger.

_But that's impossible. I froze Pan. I got him to kiss me to do it. How could he possibly…_

_It's not Pan, _ I realize, fear suddenly building within me. _It's the shadow. _

"Hook!" I call out frantically. "The shadow, it's coming!"

I see realization dawn on Hook's face and he immediately calls for Smee to take the helm. Rushing over to me, he pulls me away from the rope I was holding onto, and steps down hard on one of the ship's many planks. It must be loose because it immediately gives away under the pressure of Hook's foot, leaving a hole about the size of my wrist in width.

"Put your foot in there, lass!" he calls over the noise of the water.

"How will that help?" I ask, feeling the shadow getting closer.

"It will hold for a few minutes, and that's all we need," he replies.

Without hesitation, I force my foot into the opening, and hold back a small groan as the wood digs into my ankle from both sides.

"Just hold on now, lass," Hook shouts over the roar of the whirlpool, as _The Roger_ starts to fall through the portal. "We're almost home."

Suddenly, the dark feeling becomes stronger than ever. I only look up in time to see the shadow swooping down from above me, and feel a second of panic before it grabs me around the middle, pinning my arms to the side.

I scream as it suddenly pulls me out with a strong, forceful pull, and a sudden pain shoots through my ankle.

"LASS!"

Hook suddenly leaps up, and grabs me by the collar of my shirt, the butterfly necklace twisting in his fingers, his hook sunk in the wood of the ship, holding him down. The ship suddenly goes fully into the portal, and Hook loses his footing. But still, he hangs on, not looking at the shadow, but at me.

I only have time to register the same protective fear I felt the night that Abby was taken.

"Captain, NO!"

Without warning, Smee leaps up, and grabs Hook, pulling him back. Suddenly, the chain of the butterfly necklace snaps, and I feel the cloth of my shirt tear. Hook has lost his hold on me!

"No! No, HOOK!" I scream, as he falls back with his ship, just as it completely falls through the portal.

For one terrifying split second, my eyes meet Hook's. I only have time to see him land on the deck of _The Roger _before the portal closes behind him, permanently separating us.

* * *

**A/N:** And that's how Hook got out of Neverland...

I'm glad y'all liked the last chapter. It seems y'all liked the kiss a lot. Though someone did point out a plot-hole to me, that Jess should have been frozen to, if she had squid ink on her lips. I can understand if y'all were confused. If you were, here's how it worked:

I watched the episodes where the Squid Ink is mentioned, it always said that it could freeze magical creatures, not humans with magic. So, by that sense, the Squid Ink wouldn't work on Jess, like it may not work on Regina or Emma.  
Now, with Rumple, or Pan, who have let magic delude their humanity so much that they are more imp or magical being than a human with magic, like with Regina, Emma, or even Henry, they would be affected by the ink. That's why Jess could put the ink on her lips, and not get frozen, while Pan did.

I hope that explains it. I'm sorry for any confusion y'all had.

Anyway, a special thanks to **AlyssalovesMarko, Madhatter-in-training, kirbey unknown 7148, **and **KarwaPallo** for putting this story on alert, and to **AlyssalovesMarko, **and **kirbey unknown 7148** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Kitten825, Ode to a Fangirl, FurySaidtoaMouse, scorpiongirl92, meguhanu, Female whovian, **Sansafort, and The white angel for your amazing reviews. And, of course, a special thanks to my awesome betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**. **  
**

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on what's going to happen next, anyone? **:)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I still don't own OUAT. I also don't own the Doctor Who soundtrack song, Doomsday, which I highly recommend for reading Hook's point of view. **

**A/N: **Okay, I know I don't usually put these at the beginning, but I just have to say something before y'all read this chapter: Please don't hate me for this.

* * *

Killian was on his feet as soon as _The Roger_ was out of the portal and on the water. He could still feel the adrenaline that caused him to jump and grab Jess coursing through him. He could still see the fear in her eyes, her panicked scream ringing in his ears.

As soon as he was on his feet he ran to the stern, not looking for land, but at the sky. At the stars. The rest of his crew were slowly rising to their feet, groaning, as he searched rapidly in the night sky.

"Captain?" called Smee hesitantly.

Killian didn't respond. He saw it. So far away, so unreachable. The second star to the right. Neverland.

He had made it back to the Enchanted Forest. But Jess was still in Neverland. He had lost her.

It was as if the crocodile had ripped out his own heart and crushed it.

She was gone. That bright, stubborn, beautiful lass was still in Neverland. The only person who had ever made him feel again since he traded Baelfire to Pan. Gone.

He let out the breath he was holding, trying everything to comprehend it. But nothing he tried could work. He hadn't been able to hold on. He had failed her.

_How ironic_, Killian realized. _I spent centuries in Neverland, trying to get out. Now I want nothing more than to go in and get her out. _

He was hoping-praying-that she had gotten out of the shadow's grip, and made another bean to bring her home. To her family. To her mother, and her little sister. But he didn't know. He would never know. He was out of Neverland, but at the price of Jess.

He was never going to see her again. Never be able to see that cute way her eyes crinkled when she smiled. Never be able to hear her laugh, never be able to hold her when she needed someone.

How was he supposed to live with that? How was he supposed to pretend that it was alright that he was never going to see her again? Was he supposed to just move on? Let the pain he felt go?

Forget about the girl who he loved like a daughter?

His heart was still with Milah, and he had lost her centuries ago. He had taught himself to numb the pain, to channel it towards finding a way to kill the crocodile. But losing Jess was like reopening every wound that he had ever healed.

What was worse is that he _knew_ she was alive. He knew that she was somewhere in Neverland, trying to run from Pan, so that she could escape to her little sister. But even if she got out, even if she made another bean and went back to her own world, he was never going to see her again. He was in the Enchanted Forest, she was in her own world.

Without the chance to say good-bye, without the chance to take one last look at her. She was just...ripped from him without warning.

He never got to say good-bye to her. Now, he would be spending the rest of his life wondering what would have happened if he had held on tighter, if he had found some other place for her to hold onto, if he had gotten _The Roger _to the portal a little faster. What would have happened if they had at least ended things on their own terms. If they had the chance to part the way they had wanted.

But that would never happen. She was in Neverland. He was back home, back to where he belonged.

_Back to where all I have left is revenge,_ he thought bitterly. _Whereas in Neverland, I at least had a purpose. To look after that lass. To keep her safe…_

Perhaps it was better this way. At least now he could pursue the crocodile without worrying about her getting hurt. Without the distraction of Jess turning him away from revenge. But, he almost wished that she would be there, as a distraction, because at least the lass would _be there._

Killian was suddenly aware that he still held the butterfly necklace in his fist. The chain had broken, but the pendant was still intact. It had been Milah's. Giving it to Jess was his way of telling her that she had come to mean as much to him as Milah had. Now, he had lost them both. And all he had left was one broken necklace.

Part of him wanted to throw it out into the open sea, and let the pain end, but he knew he couldn't bring himself to do it.

It represented too much. The love that he and Milah had shared. The love he had grown to have for that bright lass. The special place both women held in his heart. His failure to save either of them. The necklace represented too much to throw away.

"Captain?" Smee called again, hesitation still in his voice.

Smee. The man who pulled him back. The reason he wasn't able to hold onto Jess. The reason he had lost her.

Killian wanted to turn and plunge his hook into the man there and now, but part of him-maybe the part that Jess held-would not let him. Not when he knew that Smee was only worried about his safety.

Yes, Smee was always worried for _Killian's safety._ Never the lass'. He always saw her as a danger, not the person Killian could see her for.

"Would be best if you didn't speak, Mr. Smee," he said, his voice coming out slurred, as if he had drunk too much rum.

He could really use some rum right now…

"In fact, it would be better if you got off on the next port," he muttered, almost to himself.

His crew was waiting on him. Relying on him. He had gotten them out, as he had hoped. He just hadn't been able to get Jess out, liked he had promised himself he would. But he didn't want too.

_There's nothing you can do_, he told himself. _She's gone, and you're never going to see her again. The crew, they need you right now. _

But he had just lost her. Couldn't he mourn, for just a little? Couldn't he just let the pain hurt him, just for a little bit, before he turned and tried to numb himself?

She was gone. He would never know what happened to her. Whether she got out, whether she found her family. Whether she ever truly saw him as a father the same way he had seen her as a daughter...

He looked down at the necklace again.

He was going to miss her. He knew that. No matter what happened now, no matter how deep he got involved in his vengeance, the lass would always hold a special place in his heart.

With that thought, he clutched the necklace tighter.

Why him? Why of all people, did Killian have to be the one to lose the people he loved? He had lost Liam, Milah, and now Jess. Why did fate hate him so much?

"Captain, where are we headed?" asked one of the crew. Killian was too lost in his own thoughts to recognize who asked.

Did any of that matter anymore? She was _gone_.

"Captain Jones?" they prodded.

Captain Jones. Something just seemed wrong with that to Killian. Too...stiff, too common.

What was it that Jess had always called him?

"No," he murmured.

He forced himself to turn away from the star she was trapped in, despite all the pain it caused him. He looked up at his crew, and finally met their eyes.

"Not Captain Jones," he said in a louder voice. "Not Killian Jones."

_Not anymore_. _Captain Jones died the moment he met that lass. _

"It's Hook, now, mates," he said. "Captain _Hook_."

* * *

For a moment, I can only stare at the water in blind shock, unable to process what just happened. It all seemed to have happened so fast. Too fast. There's no way it could have really happened...right?

"Hook!" I shout, at the water, as if it will bring him back. "Hook!"

I know it won't work though. Deep down, I know he's gone. He got away.

_And I'm still in Neverland. And Pan's shadow has me. _

The memory seems to jolt me back to reality. I feel the shadow's icy arms wrapped around me, and the twisted sense is so powerful that I feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't remember the dark feeling my sixth sense giving me ever being this intense.

_It's Pan, _I realize. _He's angry, and darker than ever. It's affecting the shadow._

Which means I'm in more danger than ever.

Real fear rushes through me. Fear I haven't felt since Pan almost pulled Abby into Neverland. Immediately, I start to twist, struggle, and kick in the shadow's grip. Pain shoots through my ankle as I try to kick, but I don't care anymore.

I may have failed to escape. I may not have been able to get out with Hook. But I'm not letting Pan take me again. I'm not going to let him touch me anymore. I don't care if the shadow drops me into the water here and now, I am not going back to Pan.

The shadow doesn't seem to be affected at all by my struggles. Instead, it just grips me tighter, and flies back to the island.

_No! I'm not going back there! Not back to Pan. Not back to the children crying, not back to the cage, the music. Not back to being 'Vin.'_

I try imagining a match, or a torch, or anything that will get the shadow to let go of me. But my mind is too clouded by my fear. I can't imagine anything. My last weapon is gone.

_Oh, God! I can't do anything! It won't let me go, and it's taking me back to Pan. I can't get out of this one…_

Panic hits me with this realization, and I can't stop the scream that escapes me. The shadow ignores my screams, and continues to fly, not over the jungle towards Pan's camp, but towards the sole mountain of Neverland.

I can sense the dark feeling almost double.

Oh no…he's waiting for me. Which means the squid ink wore off…

_I'm dead. _

I lose my head at this point. I'm not sure what I'm doing. It's as if my mind has gone blank, and some animal inside me takes over. I scream, struggle, try to bite down at the shadow. Anything that will get it to let me go. I don't care if I fall and die. It is better than the alternative.

I'm suddenly aware that the shadow has stopped, and his hovering over a peak on the mountain, still holding me tight in its grip.

Standing on the peak, an expression of anger and resolve, is Pan.

If the realization of him being here made me lose my head, actually seeing him makes get myself back together.

I'm scared to death right now. I know he has something planned. But, if I'm going to get out of this, I need to keep my head. It's the only way to beat him.

The peak is mostly rocks, but on the end closest to the mountain are strange plants, growing in vines. Just by looking at them, I get the feeling that these plants are deadly. Like one would die just by getting pricked by their thorns.

Behind the plants, I can hear the sound of rushing water, and I can barely make out a waterfall behind the plants, that flows down into a small pool.

_Dreamshade,_ I realize.

The plants are dreamshade. Why would Pan have me brought here of all…

_No...he wouldn't….he's not planning to kill me...not after everything. _

I can feel the panic building up again, and I fight to remain calm.

_I have to stay calm. I cannot let lose myself. I lost myself for one moment with the arrow, and he was able to control me. I'm not going to let him have control over me anymore. _

"You almost got out, Vin," says Pan.

I start in surprise. I had expected him to brag. To say that there was no way that I could get out. That he will always stop me. That there is no way I'm ever getting out of Neverland.

Not admit that I almost made it.

"You almost got out, Vin," he says again. "And you would have made it if it weren't for the shadow."

Somehow, I'm able to find my voice.

"I'll do it again," I reply, not bothering to let my hatred come in my voice. "You can't have your shadow hold onto me forever, Pan. As soon as you take your eyes off of me, I will be gone, and back home."

Pan only gives me a hard stare. He doesn't rise to the occasion, doesn't start to try to persuade me that there really is no escape.

"I know," he replies.

_Wait, what? He knows?_

This is so unlike Pan. I have never seen him like this. He's so serious. What is he playing at?

_He's not playing anymore, _I realize. _It's more than that. _

The only time I saw him like this was when he tried to make me beg for mercy. Except now, he's much more...I don't know what he is. But it is beyond wanting petty revenge.

"I always knew that you would try to escape, Vin," he says. "I always knew that spirit in you would drive you to get back to the little girl. But I underestimated your desperation. That you would be willing to abandon the younger boys, even abandon Baelfire to get back to your sister."

"It wasn't just getting back to Abby," I reply, spitefully. "It was at first. But after what you did to me, with the cage, with the arrow, with the music, it went beyond getting back home. It was escaping _you._"

I don't care if he knows. He already he knows my deepest secret, he has already hurt me too much. He has made me go through too much.

"I don't care what you do to me," I continue. "I don't care anymore. The only thing you can do to me now is kill me."

At this, Pan gets his smirk back, and for a moment, he looks like the Pan I know. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. But, in a flash, the smirk is gone, and he's back to being the serious, real monster that scares me more than ever.

He walks over to me, and looks me in the eye.

"I'm not killing you, Vin," he says. "But I've come too far to let you go. If I have to clip your wings...so be it."

_Clip my wings? What is he talking about?_

He can't be saying that he's going to try to take away my ability to imagine. That would be pointless. That was why he wanted me in the first place, because I was powerful.

The shadow sets me down without warning, and I let out a hiss, as pain shoots through my foot as I land. Pan's back is to me, and he waves his hand over the vines.

_This could be my chance. I could run now…_

I try to stand, but as soon as I put weight on my bad ankle, I go down again. I hear the vines twisting and snapping, and I look up. Pan has parted the vines to reveal the pool behind the dreamshade. A waterfall flows into the pool, and it looks like it's just an ordinary pool of water.

But I can sense something beyond that. Something wild and powerful. The feeling I first had when I had arrived in Neverland. I realized a long time ago that I was sensing Neverland's power, and just got used to it. This water, whatever it is, is rich in Neverland's magic.

Why does Pan...wait.

I remember Hook's words in one of our last conversations: "_There's a special water that you can drink that will save you. But, there's a price. Once you drink the water, you're bound to Neverland. You can't leave without dying."_

Magical water that's near the dreamshade. If Pan isn't killing me...

I feel my stomach plunge, and adrenaline shoots through me as I realize his plan. I force myself to stand, and turn to run.

Pan suddenly appears in front of me, and grabs me around the middle, lifting me off my feet when I start to struggle. Once again, his grip is like iron, and unbreakable.

_I don't care what I have to do. I don't know _what _I'm going to do. But not this. Anything, but this._

"No!" I scream. "No, please! NO!"

Pan ignores me, as he drags me to the pool's edge. I can feel the shadow flying away, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I get away from the water, and all that it will do to me.

Pan forces me down to my knees, and pushes my back down, so that I'm bending over the water.

_No! This can't be...I won't…he can't…_

"I'm sorry, Vin," Pan mutters.

_No…_

He forces my head into the water.

Immediately, all air is gone. There is nothing around me but water. I can't breathe. I _need _to breath.

_No...I can't...I won't…_

Suddenly, someone pulls me out of my water by my hair. I gasp, taking in the precious air.

"Drink, Vin."

I don't even have time to register what or who tells me this before I'm forced beneath the water again. I'm struggling, trying desperately to escape whatever is holding me down, holding me beneath the water, keeping me from all air.

_I can't breathe...I can't…_

I'm about to be consumed by blackness, when I'm pulled up again by my hair. Immediately, I take in the air, trying to refill my lungs. Between gasping and coughing, I'm not even sure I'm getting any air.

"Just drink, Vin," a voice says. "Drink, and it will all be over."

With that, I'm forced into the water again.

This time, it's harder than ever.

_I need to breathe! I need to-_

_Just do what he says, _a voice in the back of my head says. _End it now. Just drink, or you're going to drown!_

_No...I can't...I've come...I won't...ABBY! _

I'm not even sure if I'm even pulled out. Something changes, and the black almost consumes me.

_Drink the water, Vin._

I'm not sure if the person really said that or I heard it in my head.

As if my body is reacting against my will, my mouth forces itself open, and water rushes in. Before I can stop anything, my mouth closes, and I swallow.

_NO! _

The water has not run past my throat when I'm pulled away from the water. I'm not even sure of my surroundings. I just try to refill my lungs.

For what seems like ages my mind is numb as I cough and gasp, trying so hard not to black out. After what feels like hours, I'm able to breathe normally again, as Pan watches me without even moving. Then my mind starts to work again, and I realize what I've done.

I drank the water. I'm bound to Neverland. I can't leave without dying.

There's no way that I can escape.

"No," I whisper. "No..."

Tears cloud my eyes, and I feel myself sob.

_Please let this all be a bad dream. Please, let me wake up home in bed, with Abby and Mom. Let this end…_

I'm vaguely aware of Pan crouching down next to me, and putting what is meant to be a comforting hand on my shoulder. At his touch, I flinch, and push myself away. Anything to put distance between myself from… from...from _him. _

"I'm sorry, Vin," he says, for once sounding sincere. "But I couldn't let you get that close to escaping again."

Like a small child, I put my hands over my ears. I don't care if it's immature. I don't want to hear. I don't want to listen to him justify what he just did.

_Oh, God. I drank the water. I'm trapped here. _

Pan stands, and gives me an unreadable look, but he doesn't say anything.

Hot tears leak onto my cheeks, but I don't bother to wipe them away.

_This can't be happening. This can't. I can't be trapped here. Not after everything I've done to get out. Not after all I've done to get away. To get home…_

I can feel myself slipping into hysterics. It doesn't matter, though. Nothing matters anymore. Not after what just happened.

Pan walks over, and offers me his hand.

"Come on, Vin," he says. "It's time to go home."

_What is he talking about? He just ripped my only home away from me. Now he's just going to have me go with him to-what-lock me in cage? _

That's when I realize he doesn't have too. He'll never have to lock me in a cage again. He forced me to drink the water. I'm bound to Neverland. He didn't just make it impossible for me to go home, he made it impossible for me to leave.

He turned Neverland into my cage.

He beckons with his fingers, motioning me to take his hand. But I know what will happen if I do. I'll break. I'll lose myself to him. I'll become Vin.

I can't take his hand. But he won't let me leave unless I do.

I can see the impatience in his eyes. Yes, he wants to begin the game again. He's trapped me. He's made me a permanent player of his game.

I once thought hate was the right word for what I felt for Pan. But now, hate doesn't even cover it. I'm not sure there's even a word that describes it.

I just...I want him to suffer. I want him to hurt as much as he's hurt me. I want him to taste his own medicine, and then taste it again, and again, and again.

"I hope someone rips out your heart and then slowly crushes it to dust," I get out, glaring at him.

_Whoa. Where did that come from? My story, I guess…_

Before Pan can reply, I feel something moving, right behind me. It is like the water: wild and powerful. Except, it's much more concentrated, much more sentinent...almost as if whatever I feel is alive.

Suddenly, Pan stands, and for the first time, I see fear in his eyes.

"No…" he whispers. "That's impossible. You disappeared...you disappeared after you showed me hourglass."

I've never seen Pan like this. He's not nervous or anxious. That is real fear on his face, in his voice.

If something can scare Pan like this, I kind of want to shake its hand.

I don't get that. Instead, whatever is behind me rushes forward, and I feel icy cold arms encircle me, the same way Pan's shadow does. Except this time, as soon as the arms are around me, darkness swallows me.

The last thing I'm aware of is that Pan is backing away slowly, looking more terrified than I ever thought possible…

My eyes snap open, as if they were never closed.

_What…_

I blink a few times, trying to clear my mind. I'm not sure what happened. I just… sort of blacked out.

I force myself to sit up, and look around. I know this area. I've seen it a dozen times...where?

I spot a rock formation, behind me. One is oddly shaped. Why is it oddly shaped?

_Because it's a cave,_ I realize, _Bae's cave. _

But that's impossible, because I...I left…

The events crash back on me, of everything that has happened in the last few hours.

Hook. I've lost Hook. He got out, but the shadow grabbed me. Then Pan...Pan…

I gasp, the memory coming back to me.

I drank the water. I can't get out.

I'm not sure what it was that took me, and left me at Bae's cave, that scared Pan so much. But it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

I drank the water.

Yes, Pan was holding me down, but _I _was the one who drank. I could have drowned, but instead I drank it.

And now I trapped. I can't get out. I can't leave. I can't go back home.

I failed. I failed to escape. I failed to get away from Pan.

_I failed Abby._

* * *

**A/N: **Like I said before: please don't hate me for this.

Okay, I will say it here and now: y'all are incredible. Over 100 reviews? Over 10,000 views? Seriously? Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Y'all are amazing. I couldn't do this without y'all!

A special thanks to **songwriter16, Ice-Snow Witch, Live4dancing, **and **Nicoleee830** for putting this story on alert, and to **Ice-Snow Witch, Live4dancing, **and **Nicoleee830 **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Dreamer-Girl96, Ode to a Fangirl, Uncommon fairy, Female whovian, meguhanu, Live4dancing, **and the white angel for leaving awesome reviews. And, of course, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**, my wonderful betas!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Feedback on Hook's point of view, and Jess's reaction to drinking the water are especially appreciated. **:)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT. If I did, Jess would be in the series. Actually, i'd probably get so focused on her, that I'd just give her own spin-off show...yeah, it's probably a good thing I don't own OUAT. **

* * *

Am I alive?

Am I dead?

Does it matter?

_No,_ I think absently, _no, it doesn't._

Everything stopped mattering when Pan forced my head under the water. Everything stopped mattering when I drank the water. When I permanently trapped myself. When I cut myself off from Abby.

_Oh, God. Abby…_

I can't hold back a sob as the thought reaches me. I broke my promise to her. I promised her that I would escape Neverland. That I would get back to her. And I broke it.

She needed me, and, honestly, I need her. But, I can't ever get back to her. I can't ever be free.

I can't get away from Pan.

I'm trapped in a cage, again. Except this time, I can't get out. There is no one to unlock the cage, and let me out. This cage-this hell-is my home now.

_No,_ I think, anger somehow rising in my numbness, _Pan can call it what he likes, but this place isn't home. It's a prison, a cage. Not home. _

Because I lost the only true home I had. I lost it the moment I drank the water.

Now, I'm trapped. And Pan can play with me, manipulate me all he wants. Because I can't run. No matter how hard I try, no matter how fast I run, he will eventually catch up.

_So, why run? Why even try? _

"Jess?"

I start, the voice taking me away from my thoughts. I turn to see Bae, watching me, concern on his face.

_Oh, yeah._

I vaguely remember Bae finding me in a crumpled heap at the entrance of his cave, bringing me inside. He may have asked me what happened, but I don't know. I wasn't listening. All I could think about was Abby. How I failed her. How I will never see her again.

How I never truly got the chance to say good-bye to her. The last time I ever saw my sister was when I was protecting her from Pan.

I could lift the barrier, and let her back in. But I can't. I _won't_.

What if Pan was waiting? What if he tried to pull her back in?

I close my eyes, thinking of...everything.

I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to watch my beautiful, sweet, innocent baby sister grow up. I won't be there to help her with boy troubles, or give her advice with difficult teachers or parents. To share the books and movies that I really like with her. I won't be able to yell at her when she's embarrassed me, or watch her insist that she wants to study at whatever college I'm attending, just because her big sister went there.

I won't be there to tease her about her first kiss, or help her learn how to do her makeup. To watch her grow up. To be there for her when she needs someone. To take care of her, since Mom and Dad won't.

"Jess?"

Bae's voice brings me back for a moment, and I turn to look at him.

"Are you ready to talk?" he asks, looking concerned.

No, I'm not.

_Dang it, I'm not! _

I never wanted this. I never wanted to know that Peter Pan was real. I never wanted to give up everything to him. I never wanted to meet frigging Captain Hook, and Tinkerbell. I never wanted to learn that I could do magic, that I was powerful. I never wanted to go to Neverland in the first place.

I wanted to stay at home, take care of Abby, graduate high school, write my book, and go to college. I wanted to earn my diploma, find some nice apartment, and give Abby the home she deserved. Not one full of neglect and abandonment.

And I lost it. I didn't just lose Abby, I lost everything. Everything I ever dreamed about, everything I ever wanted. It's all gone.

_Because I'm trapped. Because there's no escape for me. No hope for me. _

Even if I run, even if I hide, Pan has all the time in the world. He's going to try to find me. Even if he does it in a matter of hours or in a few years, he is going to hunt me down like a prized deer, and find me. And when he does, he isn't going to bother to try to hold me. What would be the point? If I ran again, it would just start the game over.

And if I don't run, then he'll break me. I don't know how he'll do it. Maybe he'll use the younger Lost Boys, maybe he'll lock me in a cage again. Heck, maybe he'll even torture me. But, once he does, he'll have control over me again.

And I will break. I'll become Vin. I'll be his slave, his pet, his _toy_, and there will be no escape. No redemption. No hope.

I'm staring up from the bottom of a pit and there is no way I'm climbing out of it. And Pan is just going to dig that pit deeper, until I'm buried alive. Unable to escape, but unable to die.

_Why go through it? Why put myself through that torture? Why should I have to suffer when I have nothing left to live for? There's nothing to look forward too._

There's just pain and endless suffering and misery. Why should I do it? Why should I let Pan break me? Why should I let myself suffer forever because I lost Abby?

_Why should I continue trying anymore? _

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bae grabs my wrist, and looks me in the eyes. His eyes are full of fear and anger, but I ignore it.

_Why should I keep-_

"Give me the knife, Jess," he says, forcefully.

I blink.

_What knife? What is he talking about? _

"Jess. Give. Me. The. Knife," Bae says slowly and even more forcefully.

I look down at my wrist, and I realize that the one he is holding is the one holding a plain knife, poised over my other, exposed wrist. When did I imagine that?

Without much thought, I release my hold on the knife, confused. In one swift moment, Bae takes it, and secures it in his belt, watching me with a protective concern.

_Why would Bae care so much about one knife? I know him, he has plenty of tools. Why would he need the knife?_

"Why-," I ask, but my throat feels sore and thick, and the words get forced back.

Bae looks me in the eye.

"You were thinking of killing yourself," he replies flatly.

This jars me back to my senses, immediately. I shake my head, in confusion.

"What? No, I wasn't," I protest.

"Yes, you were," Bae insists. "I saw it in your face. In your eyes. You had made a knife, and you were lowering it to your wrist, like you wanted to slit it."

_That's crazy. Why would I do that? Why would I want to kill…_

That's when I remember what I was thinking mere seconds ago. How there was no escape. No hope. How I thought there was no point anymore.

_Oh, God, he's right. I was going to do it. I was going to kill myself. _

Part of me wants to run, the other wants to stay.

I can only stare at the knife that Bae secured and all that it implies. I was going to take my own life. I was going to do it to end the pain before it came. To keep Pan from ever reaching me.

All out of hatred and despair, I was going to commit suicide. And, if Bae hadn't stopped me, I probably would have done so without regret. But now…

"Why were you going to do it, Jess?" asks Bae, not sounding angry, or afraid, but concerned, and...sad.

I don't want to tell him. I want to withdraw into myself again, and cut myself off from the rest of the world. But, I can't. I need to tell him. I just need to let him know. I owe him that much.

"Pan...he…"

_Oh, God. I can't say it._

Every time I think about saying it, I feel like I'm being held under the water again, and I'm swallowing the water.

"He…"

_I can't do this. I can't say. I can't relive this. _

And, maybe...maybe I have a sliver of hope that this is really a horrible nightmare. That I will still wake up at home, safe from Pan, safe from Neverland, safe from everything. But if I say it, if I admit it to myself, then I'm never going to wake up. The last hope that I'm holding onto will die.

Maybe that's why I was going to do it...because I didn't want to give up that last hope.

But, I was going to do it. I was going to kill myself. And, despite what I told Hook that I preferred the poison to the eternal imprisonment, despite what I told Pan when I said all he could do to me was kill me, I've realized something in the few brief moments after I've killed myself: I don't want to die.

I don't want to be Pan's toy, I don't want to break. But, still, I don't want to die.

"He broke me, Bae!" I gasp.

There, I said it. And with it, the last hope that this is all in my head fades. Now he knows. I know it.

_I can't...I can't keep…_

My thoughts are so broken, I'm not even sure what I'm doing or saying anymore.

I'm crying my eyes out, babbling the events at the pool to Bae, but inside, I'm like a shell. Then, suddenly, I'm standing up, and throwing things around the cave even though I have no idea how I got there.

"It's not fair!" I scream, upending a table. "It's not fair! I made the sacrifice to save Abby! I made the choice to leave behind the kids! I could have left anytime, instead of leaving with Hook! I did what was right! I made the right choice, but I'm still a prisoner! I'm still his plaything. It's. Not. Fair!"

Bae is pulling me away from everything, holding my hands so that I can't move them, but his touch is still gentle and soothing.

_But I don't want gentle and soothing. I want to be free. _

"Let me go!" I shout, struggling. "I hate you. I hate you more than anything. Let me go!"

I'm not even sure if I'm shouting at Bae or at Pan.

I don't know how long I kick, struggle, and scream, trying to free myself from Bae's grip. I just want to be free. I just to run, to hit something, to make it feel as badly as I do now, just so that someone, something, would understand what it's like.

I want to know why. Why I had to be the one that Pan chose, why it had to be me that was trapped on Neverland. Why I had to be chosen in the first place.

_Oh, God, I wish I could just understand. _

It shouldn't have happened like this. I held onto hope. Even when I was locked in the cage, even when I almost killed Felix, I still held onto the hope that I could somehow get to Neverland. That's how it's supposed to work in every fairytale, right?

The hero holds onto hope throughout all of his trials, and in the end, his hope is fulfilled. But why did it have to be like this for me? Why did I have to be the one that had to fail in the end?

_God, I just want to know why. _

Finally, I've stopped screaming, ranting, and struggling. I just lay limp in Bae's arms, whimpering like a small child. I _feel_ like a small child.

Bae, sensing that I've calmed down, gently releases me, and helps me lay down on the cave floor. As soon as I'm still on the floor, he runs to his small alcove bed, grabs his blanket, and puts it over me.

I can only look up at him with tear-stained eyes.

"How am I supposed to keep going, Bae?" I ask him, my voice small and weak. Exactly how I feel.

"How am I supposed to accept that everyone I know will grow up and die while I live forever here? How am I supposed to remember them after so long? How long until Abby becomes just a name, and I forget how much she means to me?"

Bae looks at me for a long time, as if thinking his answer over carefully.

"I don't know," he finally replies. "But I do know that you never truly forget. I've lost track of how long I've been here, yet I still remember Papa. And the Darlings. If you love Abby as much as you seemed to, then you'll never really forget her."

I sniffle, and use the back of my hand to wipe my nose, not caring how gross it is.

"I don't want to die, Bae," I tell him. "But how am I supposed to survive? How am I supposed to make it?"

At this, Bae sighs, and sits next to me, rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"Don't worry, Jess," he murmurs. "I'm going to take care of you. I promise."

I let his words sink in, but I don't reply. I only stare into the flames of the torch for I don't know how long, until I finally drift off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Peter didn't remember the last time he felt this scared.

He had been anxious that he wouldn't be able to catch Vin, especially after she tricked him into kissing her, but his shadow never failed him. But he caught her. Even better, he had trapped her. And he saw it as soon as she realized what she had done. That next step that she had taken. She was closer than ever to being broken. All it would take would be a little push here, and a little shove there, and she would break. She would give into him, and practically beg to give him her heart when the time came.

By all means, he should have been celebrating. But instead, for the first time in a very, very long time, he felt afraid.

Why?

Because _it _had returned. The thing that had made him who he was. The thing that made him start on his quest to find the Heart of the Truest Believer, and the most powerful Dreamer.

The sole inhabitant of Neverland. The first shadow.

Peter remembered the creature all too clearly. He didn't have the power of a Dreamer, like Vin, but he could still sense its power when it met him in the Pixie Dust Tree, and told him that he didn't belong in Neverland.

So, Peter had done what he had to do: he gave up Rumpelstiltskin, and became a boy again. All because of the Shadow.

But, after the thing had shown him the hourglass that fueled his youth, it had disappeared, probably into the Dark Hollow. Not that Peter minded at all. He could sense that the Shadow didn't like how he had-what had it said-broken the rules. He was alright living on his own without the Shadow always watching him, with its cold eyes and rattling breath.

After a while, he had realized he could not live on his own, so he had cut off his own shadow, which provided him with companionship and service. But, eventually that grew dull, so Peter started to travel the Enchanted Forest, the Land Without Magic, Wonderland, and all other realms, gaining members for the Lost Boys, and slowly piecing together what he needed in order to continue living when the sand had run out of the hourglass.

And now, after centuries, the shadow had emerged from wherever it was hiding, not to help him, as it did before, but to take Vin. He didn't know where she was, or if she realized what took her. He just knew that he couldn't look for her as long as the Shadow was involved.

That's when he felt it. The strong, wild power of the sole inhabitant of Neverland. It had come back.

For a moment, Peter was afraid that it was going to kill him. But, as he reminded himself, if the Shadow wanted to kill him, it would have done so long ago.

He sighed, and inwardly prepared himself, using a smirk to mask his fear.

"You can show yourself," he said, turning to the area where he knew the shadow was waiting. "I won't bite."

The Shadow flew out from its hiding place, and looked down at Peter. The Shadow didn't have a face, but it did not need one. Peter could tell that it was annoyed with him. That wasn't good.

But, he had to be the one in control. He couldn't let the shadow see that it was the only living thing Peter feared. The other...well death wasn't exactly a living thing, now was it?

"Why did you take Vin?" he asked, calmly.

He was really more eager to learn where she was, but the boys could find her on their own. If he asked the Shadow, it could lead him or his boys into a trap. This question, however, would be more helpful in the long run.

"It is my job to protect that which is important to Neverland," replied the Shadow in it's high, cold voice, that still sent chills down Peter's spine. "The girl is a Dreamer. In Neverland, she could be a god if she wanted. You used the power of Neverland against her when you forced her to drink the water. In doing so, I was alerted, and it became my task to protect her."

That wasn't good. If Vin was in the Shadow's protection, then there was no way of reaching her. Not if he posed a threat towards her. The Shadow would ensure that neither he nor the boys could take her.

But, instead of showing these emotions, Peter just let out a small chuckle.

"Oh, so now you're a guard dog?" he scoffed. "Protecting a helpless little girl from the evil villain...very heroic."

The Shadow didn't reply. Evidently, it didn't have a sense of humor. Peter would have to be serious, then.

"You can't keep her from me," he said, his tone losing his playfulness. "I need her heart to live. Even if I have to wait twenty years to track her down and drag her back, I will find her and carve out that powerful heart from her chest with my bare hands if I have too."

"The girl is under my protection," said the Shadow, clearly not impressed. "As long as you threaten her, you will not be able to touch a hair on her head."

Peter knew this to be true, but he couldn't admit that. That would mean that he failed. And Peter Pan never failed.

"I'd like to see you try to protect her," he challenged. "You seem to forget that I was willing to give up my own son to be young again. Do you really think I won't get her back through any means necessary?"

"You seem to forget that it is the magic of Neverland that is fueling your youth and immortality in the first place," retorted the Shadow without hesitation. "You do not rule Neverland; your presence is simply tolerated. If you try to take the girl by force, even with your magic pipes, you will force Neverland to choose between the man who gave up his only son to break the rules, and stay on Neverland, or the powerful Dreamer who gave up her freedom for her sister. Which do you think it will choose?"

Peter tried to uphold his look of confidence, but inside, his stomach plunged. He knew the Shadow wasn't lying. It never lied. If Peter went after Vin, the entire fury of Neverland would rain down on him. Or, it might not even have to. All it would have to do is take away his youth. He'd go back to being a man, or worse, fall dead on the spot.

The threat was very real. He truly couldn't pursue Vin without dying. That would make Vin's entire purpose useless. She was there to buy him time, not cause him to die.

But if the Shadow saw him falter, it would know that he was afraid. That he didn't want to die. He couldn't let it see that. He couldn't let it see that it was the only thing he truly feared.

"Any rule can be broken," he insisted. "And if anyone can break the rules, it's me. I broke the rule that anyone, much less an adult, couldn't live on Neverland. I will break the rule that I have to die when the sand runs out when I have the Heart of the Truest Believer. If there is anyway to get her back, I will."

This time, it was the Shadow's turn to scoff.

"Do not underestimate the power of Neverland," it warned. "As long as you try to take her, she will be shielded, not just from your 'Lost Boys,' but from your magic as well."

Peter knew it was true. Even if the Shadow made it so that she was invisible to him, there would be no way that he could take her by force. No way to take her and play with her.

But, then again, he may have already found his loophole.

"If I try to take her, you'll stop me," he said. "But what if she comes to me of her own free will?"

The Shadow paused. Yes, there it was. The loophole that Peter needed.

"You won't be able to stop her, will you?" he asked, a grin creeping on her face. "Because I'm not taking her by force."

The Shadow narrowed its glowing eyes.

"Good luck finding her to convince her to come to you," it taunted.

That didn't matter. She would have to be on Neverland for it to hide her. He would just have to wait. And he had time, plenty of time. Besides, there were other ways of convincing her to break. Ways that required no speaking at all.

"Good luck keeping her from me," he replied. "_When_ she comes to me, I will make sure to tell you that I told you so."

With that, he turned, and walked away. He was eager to get away from the Shadow as fast as possible.

"And what happens when she learns that she isn't bound to Neverland?" asked the Shadow. "That she would only be bound if she had been poisoned by dreamshade first?"

Peter felt his heart drop when he understood what it was saying. When she realizes that he had lied. When she realizes that she could really leave Neverland.

"Then I will make sure she never finds out," replied Peter. "Even if I have to use magic to make sure she never learns, I will keep that secret safer than any I've ever kept. Even more than the secret of my son. I've hidden secrets from her before, and I can do it again."

"Such as?" the Shadow asked in a dry voice.

At this, Peter had to smile, unable to stop the feeling of pride within him.

"Like how I could never pull her sister back into Neverland," he replied. "I can only make it look like it. The little girl was in no danger at all, but Vin shut her out of Neverland anyway."

He turned back to the Shadow, and plastered a smirk on his face, hiding his fear.

"Hold onto her while you can," he challenged. "She may be practically a god, but she is _my_ Dreamer. Vin is mine, and mine alone."

* * *

**A/N: **Wow. Y'all remember a while ago, when I said the chapter of Hook and Bae rescuing Jess from Neverland was the hardest chapter I had to write? That chapter had _nothing_ on this chapter. Writing Jess's grief was one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. And while I was writing it, I was listening to **I Dreamed A Dream**from Les Miserables, and that made me very depressed for the rest of the evening. So, feedback on this chapter would be really, really appreciated. Thanks, guys!

A special thanks to **WhoLock93, **and** catlover2015** for putting this story on alert, and to **CJE, asdfghjkl1292, charmedhpgirl, Liquidation, **and **catlover2015** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **narisadar, thewritershavetheTARDIS, meguhanu, Revengest, Ode to a Fangirl, **and The white angel for your awesome reviews. Finally, thank you to my amazing betas **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **and **Uncommon fairy. **

Please follow, favorite, and review, or whatever y'all want. Feedback on Jess's grieving process, and the Shadow are especially appreciated. **:)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I was thinking of calling the guys at ABC, and work out a deal, but I couldn't get the number. So, I still don't own OUAT.**

* * *

_Water...I can't breathe...trapped...No!_

My eyes fly open, but in my mind I'm still in my nightmare. I'm still drowning in the black, dark water.

_Breathe! Get out of the water, get away from Pan, breathe!_

I'm suddenly aware that I'm screaming, but I have no idea how if I'm underwater. But, I'm still in the darkness, so I still must be drowning. Maybe the screams are in my head.

I hear a scraping sound, and fire light fills the room.

No, not a room. A cave. Bae's cave.

_How is that possible? I still can't breathe..._

"Jess? Jess?"

I see Bae running to me and crouching down beside me, gently cupping my face in his hands.

"Look at me, Jess," he says over my screams. "Look at me."

My eyes lock with his, and I stop screaming. But this does nothing to convince me that I'm not still drowning.

"It's alright," says Bae, soothingly. "It's okay. It was just a nightmare. You're safe."

Safe. Once, I had to be careful to never feel safe. Now, all I want to feel is safe.

I shake my head, as if denying what he's saying.

_How can I be safe? I'm trapped here on the island. How am I supposed to ever feel safe again? _

"No," I whisper. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Bae insists. "I'm going to take care of you. You're going to be okay."

I'm still panting, but Bae inhales and exhales deeply, gesturing that I do the same. Slowly, I take a deep breath, and let it out. Then again, in and out. When I've calmed down a little, I pull away, and sit back, leaning against the cave wall.

"Are you alright?" asks Bae, warily, ready to help calm me down if I'm not.

I slowly nod, and wipe away the tears that were shed when I woke up.

"Are you sure?" he asks, carefully.

"Yeah," I reply. "I'm fine."

He nods, and moves over to the tables that I upturned earlier in my fit. He starts to set them upright, and replace the food and tools back on them.

_Why doesn't he go back to sleep? He knows I'm fine…_

I realize it's because he's worried about me. He's afraid I might have another tantrum, or try to kill myself again. He needs to be awake to calm me down. To stop me from going too far.

No, I don't want to think about that. I don't want to go back to how I was before Bae calmed me down. Shrieking, miserable, ready to commit suicide. If I go back to that, I'm only going to lose myself faster.

_I'll be doing Pan's job for him. _

The idea fills me with so much disgust, I decide that I need to think about something else. Anything else. I turn to Bae, as he places a candle in a coconut back on one of the tables. There's something I've been meaning to ask him, but I keep forgetting. Might as well ask it now. It will help take my mind off of things.

"Bae," I ask, my voice croaky from waking up and screaming. "Were there ever Indians on the island?"

Bae pauses, and I can tell the question has more meaning to him than I thought.

"Why do you ask?" he asks casually. Too casually.

_Something's up here._

I shrug, taking on a casual persona as well.

"In the story I read," I explain. "Pan, the Lost Boys, Hook, TinkerBell, Wendy, they were all their. But there was also this Indian tribe that lived on the island. I know the story messed up on a lot of details, but I've never seen any signs of Indians. I wondered if that was another messed up detail too."

Actually, that's a bit of an understatement. The book got almost _all_ of the details wrong.

Bae sighs, and turns to look at me. Again, I see in his eyes the person beyond the boy's body. The one who has had to survive through so many things, grow up fast on the inside, even though he has always remained the same on the outside.

He sits down, and for a second, he truly does look like the aged, tired person I know he his deep down.

"I might as well tell you," he says, almost to himself. "You will find out eventually."

_Especially now that I'm supposed to stay on Neverland forever, a permanent prisoner of-No, I'm not going to think about it. _

"There were Indians on the island," he says. "I'm not sure how they got here, or where they came from; they were on Neverland before I was taken. But, however they came, Pan wasn't sure if he liked them or not. He played with them, forcing them to fight for their survival. He was still doing it when Hook handed me over to the Lost Boys. They were good, though. They knew how to live off the island and use it to their advantage when Pan played of his games with them. So, after a while, he got bored, and left them alone."

That sounds like Pan. Not caring who you are, or how you got there, just that you play his little games. Make you one of his toys until you don't even see it yourself.

"Anyway," says Bae, continuing with his story. "The Indians weren't growing up either. The elderly stayed old, and the children..well, they couldn't grow up. And, after a while, the boys of the tribe got upset, because they were still being treated like children, when they were really growing up on the inside. Finally, one night, most of them came to Pan's camp, saying they wanted to join. Pan took them on without a second thought. But, the rest of the tribe didn't like that."

_Oh, dear, I can see where this is going…_

"They demanded that Pan return their children to them, but Pan refused to give up Lost Boys that came so willingly. So, the Indians fought Pan, and he fought back."

He closes his eyes, and I can see his pained expression, as if he remembers the horror of what happened when Pan fought the Indians.

"I got lucky," he murmurs. "The Indians were silent in battle. They could sneak up on you in a flash, without making a sound. So many boys were killed during that time. But, Pan fought back even harder, setting up traps to kill the Indians, and using magic. The leader of the tribe eventually realized that the Indians couldn't win the war, so he called for the fighting to stop, and tried to make peace with Pan. I remember him offering to let Pan keep the boys, and even give his own daughter to Pan."

_The chief's daughter. No way, it couldn't be…_

"Tiger Lilly?" I ask, almost not believing that the famous Indian girl was real.

Bae looks at me, and if what I saw before was pain, the look he gives me is agony.

"Yes," he whispers. "Tiger Lilly."

The pain in his eyes, the way he says her name...there is something more to this story.

"What happened?" I ask, quietly, torn between wanting to know, and not making Bae remembering.

His eyes screw shut, as if he is recalling a painful memory.

"Pan said that he would meet at sunset the next day to discuss his terms," he says. "But as soon as he delivered this message, he told the boys to start preparing themselves. He was going to have us ambush the Indians, and kill them at dawn."

I feel my heart plunge, as I realize what he's saying. I know Pan to be a horrible, cruel bastard, but I never thought he would be willing to _massacre_ an entire people just to keep a few boys.

_Then again, look at the measures he took to imprison me, _I think numbly. _I don't think limits are something he recognizes. _

"He didn't," I whisper. " He didn't kill them all, did he?"

The horror of it, just knowing that Pan is capable of murdering a desperate race in cold blood…

This was before I pinned him against that tree. This was before I let his regret get sucked out. If he was already like this before..._what kind of monster did I help create?_

I shiver at the thought, especially when I realize that the very same monster is after me.

"He was going to kill them," Bae replies, quietly. "But, when I realized what he was doing I...I don't know. I just knew I couldn't let it happen. I wouldn't let it happen. So, when he wasn't looking, I slipped out of camp, found the Indians, and told them what Pan was planning. I-I couldn't stop them. They were so angry, so scared. They told me and Tiger Lilly to hide in the trees, and that they would find us when it was safe to come out. Then, they left. They attacked Pan before he could attack them...and-and-"

He cuts off with a choking sob, and I can see something else in his eyes beyond pain: guilt.

"It was a bloodbath, Jess, a _bloodbath_," he whispers. "The Indians were scared, and angry, and that made them reckless. They surprised Pan, but by dawn, Tiger Lilly and I were the only ones left. The Indian boys even turned on Pan when they saw what he did, and they were killed for it."

He meets my eyes, and I realize what he is isn't the strong boy who promised to look after me. He is a torn person, left with nothing but guilt, and pain.

"Oh, Bae," I whisper. Immediately, I go to his side, and wrap him in a hug.

And I thought I had it bad. I'm trapped on the island forever, but Bae? Bae has been through so much, pain and betrayal. He never deserved this. He never should have had to be put through this.

"What happened wasn't your fault," I murmur. "You tried to stop it from happening, and that is what counts. You are in no way responsible for what happened."

He nods, and I look at him, surprised by what I see.

"I know," he whispers. "It's just...hard. Knowing that I did the right thing, but it was all for nothing…"

I know how he feels. I made the choice to trade myself for Abby, but in the end..._no, I can't think about that right now. _

For a brief moment, we stay like this. Just sitting there, comforting the other, silently promising the other that everything will be alright.

Then, the moment ends, and Bae pulls away.

"We need some more water," he mutters.

I know that I can easily just imagine some, but I can tell he needs some time alone. He needs to gather himself up again.

This probably would not be a good time to ask him what happened to Tiger Lilly..

He gets up, and asks me once more if I'm alright. I assure him that I am, and he leaves. He leaves me alone with my thoughts.

_If I was going to do it, this would be the time…_

But I'm not going to. I'm not going to kill myself. Because, even if I'm trapped on this hell forever, even if Pan tries to hunt me down and torture me, deep down, I don't want to die.

Not like this. Not alone, miserable, wallowing in self pity.

But I need to do _something_.

I'm trapped on this island forever. There's no way I can leave without dying. And if Pan wants me as much as he says he does, he isn't going to let me go. He will find me, and he will do everything he can to make me Vin. I refuse to let that happen.

I can't die, but I can't give into Pan. Is there anything I _can _do? I don't know if anyone could do anything in my situation…

_Bae has. _

The thought strikes me hard, and I'm surprised by the effect that one random thought has. Because it's true.

He's gone through so much pain, and has suffered far too much. But, despite the breakdown I just saw, I truly believe that he's moved on. But, that doesn't take away the pain when he thinks about what happened. I don't think that pain ever really leaves you. It is just always there, pushing you to keep going.

Despite all that pain, all that suffering, he has learned to live with it. Why can't I do the same?

_Why can't I accept that I'm trapped here and that there really is no way for me to get out of this?_

Because it means letting go. It means accepting that I'll never see Abby again. And even worse, it will mean accepting that Pan will eventually find me and break me. How am I supposed to accept that of all things?

_Maybe you don't have to, _something says in the back of my mind. _Maybe you can use what you did all that time ago when Pan taught you how to use your power…_

I blink, remembering. Pan had been hoping that teaching me my abilities would help break me. Instead, I was able to turn it around on him. I was able to use my powers to create things that reminded me why I still had to fight. Why I couldn't give in.

And that's what I need to do here.

Pan thinks that what he has done will break me. For a while, I thought so too.

_But, why can't I turn the tables on him again? Why can't I use the pain I feel for losing Abby, for losing my freedom to drive me to keep fighting? _

Abby wouldn't want me to break. She'd want me to keep fighting.

I lost her because of Pan. I lost everything because of Pan. So, I'm not going to let him win. I'm not going to wallow in self pity until I break for him. I'm going to let the pain come, and I'm going to use it to drive me. To keep myself from giving in.

But, just as I needed the books to help me when I was learning how to imagine, I will need something physical. Something tangible. Something I can touch, see, feel, and remind me that I can't give in.

Something that not even Pan can take from me.

Something that not even the all powerful Peter Pan can take from me.

Realizing what I need to do, I close my eyes. I imagine a door, like the ones on a safe. A door that only I can open. I, and no one else, even if they somehow disguise themselves as me.

I can only open it of my own free will. If I'm being forced, threatened, blackmailed, tricked, or anything like that, then the door won't open for me.

I open my eyes, and I see the door hovering in front of me.

A feel the corners of my lips rise, and I open the door. Behind the door is just empty, black space. Nothing. Which is the point.

I let my imagination run wild at this point.

I imagine everything I can think of related to home.

Pictures of Abby, my best friends, Roxanne and Dom, even pictures of Mom and Dad, from before, when we were a family. I imagine my notebook filled with my story about Snow White and Prince Charming. I imagine a copy of _The Silver Chair_, then in a fit of giddiness, I imagine the entire Narnia series. Then the other books I read, whether _Lord of the Rings, Ben-Hur, _or _Les Miserables_

All of these, I put into the space behind the door.

Then, I think of all the pain I've gone through, and I let my imagine take hold of that.

I imagine the butterfly pendant that Hook gave me. I imagine the earrings that Dad left me as a going away gift, as if earrings could make up for abandoning us. I imagine the bowl that Abby and I would always use to share apple slices and peanut butter, when all we had was each other, without Mom around. I imagine the arrow I fired at Felix, the knife I threw at Sebastian, the copy of _The Princess Bride_ that I read to the younger boys. Even pictures of friends from grade school that grew up to be annoying, girly-girls.

As I put these in the space, I feel tears falling down my cheeks, as I let the pain go. The pain is still a part of me, and letting go of it is hard. But I need to do it. And if anything, I'm not letting go of it. I'm redirecting it, so that it may drive me.

After this, I think of everything that has made me who I am. Small, subtle things.

I imagine my favorite bracelet that got left behind when I got taken, my car keys, the ticket to the midnight screening of _Return of the Jedi,_ the denim jacket that I wore when I made the deal with Pan. I imagine the essay I wrote in freshman year about my love of reading, that I was so proud of, and the painting I made when I was five of dancing penguins that Mom always went on about. I imagine the stuffed raccoon that I had when I was ten, the tape with all my favorite songs, the deck of playing cards that I would use to play solitaire when I was bored.

The things that I can always look back on, knowing who I am. That I'm not Pan's toy. I'm not his pet. I'm not the girl he trapped, and is trying to break.

I'm just a regular girl, thrown into this world without a clue. A girl who will fight back. Who won't break. Who won't give in.

Whenever I open this door, I'm always going to remember who I am, no matter how hard it gets. And not even Pan can destroy it.

Because it is what makes up me. It is what will help _me _keep my mind safe.

My mind safe…

It is sort of like a safe isn't it? But it needs a better ring to it…

_A mindbox, perhaps?_

For the first time, even though I thought it impossible, I feel a smile come on my lips.

_I won't stop fighting, Pan. No matter how hard you play, I am not going to give in. You think you've hurt me, but in reality, you have given me the best weapon against you. As long as I remember who I am, you will not break me. _

I have truly won this round. _Point to Jess._

* * *

**A/N: **

First of all, I'm so sorry for the late update. I was completely swamped with studying last night, and I hardly had time to even edit this chapter. But, I will make sure next chapter comes out on time.

Also, feedback on the concept of the mindbox would be greatly appreciated. It will come up later, and I want to make sure it's understandable.

A special thanks to **AndoraStar, ZappedOfOriginality, SuperBrooke3, **and **Hi-I know the name isnt good **for putting this story on alert, and to **AndoraStar, **SuperBrooke3, **and **Hi-I know the name isnt good**** for favoriting Fading Away. Also, thank you **Ode to a Fangirl, AndoraStar, meguhanu, scorpiongirl92, Regalgal1524, **the white angel, and Guest for your awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my betas, **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms, **and **Uncommon fairy. ** Thanks a bunch; I couldn't do this without y'all!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on the mindbox and Bae's story of the Indians are especially appreciated. **:)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: If I owned OUAT, then that would mean that I technically own Elsa...You know what I'm taking this too far. Maybe I need to let it go. **

* * *

**Two Years Later: **

I dodge through the trees, trying to be as quiet as possible. I haven't seen any Lost Boys lately, but Bae said he thought he heard some yesterday. I can't take the risk of being caught, not until I know for sure that they have left the area surrounding Bae's cave.

I peek around the corner of a tree, listening for anything.

A minute goes by...then two.

Deciding it's safe, I go out into the open, to the berry bush that I had seen a while back, when I was setting the traps.

I imagine a sack, a little larger than a pouch, and start to pick the berries, careful to avoid the blue ones. I had picked those not too long after Pan made me drink the water, and spent what felt like a week sick to my stomach.

It's funny. When I first came to Neverland, I had such a hard time keeping track of time, just by how long it felt. But after I accepted that I was trapped, keeping track of time just lost importance. I understand now why Bae stopped drawing tally marks on the cave wall. I'm not even sure how long ago it was when I first came to Neverland, but it feels like I've been here for years. For all I know, I _have_ been here for years.

But, that's not to say that time was wasted. Bae taught me everything he knows about surviving on Neverland. How to hunt, how to get fresh water, which plants to eat, and which to avoid. And, most importantly, how to not be caught by Pan or his men.

However, the last time I saw Pan was when he made me drink the water. I haven't seen of him, heard of him. Heck, if it weren't for the occasional Lost Boy that wanders into our territory, Bae and I wouldn't even be sure Pan was still on the island.

Satisfied with the amount of berries I've collected, I stand, and quickly check the traps Bae taught me to set, just to be sure. My effort is rewarded with a couple of black squirrels. With a small smile, I take the small animals, and tie them to my belt with the pouch of berries.

When Bae first showed me how to set the traps, the Disney side of me felt bad for eating cute little woodland creatures. But after years (_I think_) of hunting and going some days with nothing but plant roots, I've gotten past it.

I would make food with magic, but Bae still isn't entirely comfortable with the idea. He has accepted that I use magic, so long as I keep it to myself. I could imagine enough food for the both of us, but he refuses to touch it when I try. And I absolutely refuse to eat when he won't. If that means I have to starve with him, then I will do it. I already owe Bae so much for taking care of me after what happened with the water.

A snap of a twig pulls me from my thoughts, and I immediately tense. I wait, not moving a muscle. My sixth sense doesn't feel anything, so Pan isn't here, but that doesn't mean that the Lost Boys aren't.

At first, silence. But then I hear voices talking. None of them sound like Bae's. Cursing quietly, I dive behind a tree, and imagine two knives, one in each hand.

_Stupid, stupid. _

I should have been on guard, not losing myself in thought. _Great job, Jess. Really well done. _

I risk a small peek from my hiding place. If its only a couple of boys, I may be able to take them down. If they are even farther, I may even be able to get to one of my safe trees. My heart sinks as I see the boys. It's a group of at least five or six, right in the path of my safe tree. And they are being led by Felix.

I close my eyes, and try to hold back a groan. Not only did I run into the Lost Boys, they just had to be led by the one who wanted to kill me last time we met, and probably blames me for his brother's death. _Just peachy. _

I toss around different options, trying to decide how to tackle this. I've handled the Lost Boys before. I can do it again.

_But five highly trained boys and Felix against little old me? Yeah, I don't like those odds. _

I could try running, but that would probably just alert them that I'm here, and then I have another whole set of problems on my hands.

_No, my best option is probably to wait them out, and hope they don't find my tracks. But if they see my traps…_

Suddenly, there is a sound of someone running. Not loudly, but enough to sound like they are trying to get away really fast. My sixth sense tells me it isn't Pan, but I get the feeling of something wild and chaotic is close by.

For a moment, I get the sinking feeling that it's Bae, when I remind myself that Bae is much more careful about sneaking around. Beside, he's on another area of the island. He wouldn't be able to get here without the lines, and he refuses to use those.

However, whoever is running, they obviously aren't someone the Lost Boys are expecting, because they immediately tense and listen, as I did a few moments ago. It's at moments like these that I can't help but wonder just how different the Lost Boys are from Bae and I.

_Very different, _I tell myself. _They are alright with killing, and they follow Pan. Well, all except Sebastian._

The sound of the running starts to fade, and the Lost Boys start to follow. They probably think that whoever is running is me or Bae. Well, I'm not complaining, so long as they get away from here.

I pause, waiting. Most of the boys are following the sound, but I can tell Felix is lagging behind. Knowing Felix as I do, I know that he doesn't believe that Bae or I would be so careless when running. He probably suspects a trap.

And if he's lagging behind, that means it's going to be harder for me to reach the safe tree. But, whatever is going on his head, he decides to stay with the group, and follows after the sound.

As soon as they are out of sight, I breathe a sigh of relief. That was way too close.

I stand, and quickly rush to the safe tree. I call them safe trees, but they really aren't that safe. It's just what connects them that helps me. With well-practiced speed, I climb the tree into the thicker branches, which hide a small platform from view from below. And, more importantly, the zip-line that connects this tree to another about thirty yards away.

I climb onto the platform and with a small smile, I grab the handle-bar of the zip-line, and kick off the platform.

I have to hold in a small whoop of joy as I go through the trees, but I do enjoy the feeling of flying as hold on tightly. Within seconds, the line finishes at another tree, with another platform connected, and another zip-line headed towards Bae's cave.

I came up with the zip-lines after I realized how terrible I was at covering my tracks. I had a lot of practice climbing trees, and I realized that zip-lines, if I purposely made them silent, would be an easy way of getting around the island pretty fast, without leaving any tracks.

Also, they are really, _really _fun.

I tried getting Bae to use them, but he decided not to, as they came from magic. At that point, I was so used to this, I just shrugged it off, and told him it was his loss.

In no time, I use the zip-lines back to Bae's cave, and after quickly scanning the area for anymore unwelcome Lost Boys, climb down and crawl through the cave's secret entrance without a sound.

Home sweet home.

Bae looks up from the small fire that he's building as I come in, and grins.

"Hey," I say, getting to my feet, and dusting myself off.

"Hey," he replies. He notices the small pouch at my belt with the berries I collected.

"Got the berries?" he asks.

"Better," I reply, holding up the squirrels. "Dinner."

Bae smiles, and I toss him the squirrels. Without asking, he gets to work cleaning them out, while I finish the building the fire. I'm alright with hunting the animals, but the skinning and cleaning...I've just never been comfortable with it.

"We're going to have to stay away from the area near Mermaid Lagoon," I say, as I start striking flint and steel that I made a while ago for a spark. "I met a group of Lost Boys while I was out."

"Did they see you?" Bae asks immediately, concern in his voice.

We both know that it is essential that the Lost Boys don't figure out where I am. I'm not sure what happened to Pan finding me when I feel safe, but it doesn't seem to be working. But, if the Lost Boys see me and track me down, I'm not sure how much Bae and I could hold up against Pan if he came for me.

"No," I reply. "Something distracted them."

I'm still not entirely sure who or what was running that distracted the Lost Boys, but at least it helped me get away.

It's strange, but whenever the Lost Boys are nearby, they always seem to find something else. Sometimes they see an animal for them to hunt, sometimes one collapses, and they have to carry them away. It's almost as if something happens that keeps them from finding me.

I strike the flint and steel together, and this time I get a spark. Within seconds, a small fire is popping and crackling, waiting for Bae and I to cook the squirrels I caught.

But as I look at them, for a minute, I don't see a small fire.

I see a large fire, with great thick black smoke pouring out. Actually, the smoke is more of a storm than smoke. And a woman dressed in black, smugly walking away from the fire pit to a small grave, laying a rose by the tombstone.

"Jess?"

Bae's voice snaps me back to reality, and I see him holding the squirrels out, ready to cook.

"Right, sorry," I say, helping him hold the squirrels over the flames.

Bae doesn't say anything for a few minutes, but keeps giving me concerned glances. I'm used to it, but for some reason, tonight I'm edgy.

"Do you have something to say, Bae?" I ask, sounding a bit more irritable than I intend.

But, if Bae is hurt by it, he doesn't show it. I think he's used to it after so long.

"Your dreams," he says. "They're getting worse, aren't they."

How does he know that?

He always wakes me up when I have a nightmare, because I'm struggling or screaming in my sleep, but last night he didn't do anything. How could he possibly know that my dreams have gotten worse.

But, then again, they're only dreams. It wouldn't hurt to tell. It might even make me feel better.

"Yeah," I admit, softly. "Yeah, they are."

Bae sighs sympathetically, as he checks the now cooked squirrels.

"Do you think it could be Pan using his magic on you?" he asks. "Giving you nightmares to let you know that he's coming for you?"

I shake my head, for once feeling sure about something involving Pan. Or, something not involving Pan in this case.

"No, I've had dreams like these for as long as I remember," I reply. "It's just...what I'm seeing...I can't shake the feeling that something is about to happen. Something big. I just don't know what."

Bae bites his lip, but shrugs.

"It doesn't matter, though, does it?" he asks. "I mean, they're just dreams, right?"

I want so badly to say they're not. That what I'm seeing in my dreams are actual events, that somewhere, somehow I am witnessing something very real.

_That's only because I'm seeing Hook in my dreams too, _I remind myself. _I want so badly to believe they are real so that I know he's out there._

But, that's impossible. The Hook I see in my dreams is driven by anger and grief. The Hook that I knew was a good kind person who would not do the things I see him doing in my dreams.

And the things that I've seen in my dreams, they can't possibly be real. I saw a woman in a red cloak transform into a wolf that killed soldiers without a second thought. I saw a queen in black rip out her own father's heart, because she "wanted to be happy." I saw an insane...I'm not even sure what he is. Some sort of imp, maybe. He looks like he could be a man, his wide eyes, and green-gold skin make me think otherwise. And he has dark magic. Even in my dreams, I can sense the dark, demonic magic brewing inside him. These things are impossible. There is no way they could be real.

I mean, the people call one of the women Snow White. That's impossible. Snow White is a fairy-tale, and it has been around for centuries.

_Then again, time can work differently. The story of Peter Pan has been around for ages, yet I was the first one to call the pirate of the story 'Captain Hook.'_

I hope they aren't real. That cloud of black smoke, the woman in black...If it's real, nothing good is going to come out of it.

"Yeah," I finally say, as Bae hands me a plateful cooked squirrel meat and berries. "They're just dreams."

* * *

Hook was unsure how he got himself into these situations. Then again, he hadn't been sure of a lot of things lately. Not since he got out of Neverland. And the lass didn't make it out.

_No, he wouldn't think about Jess. Not right now. Not while around Cora. _

He had only met the mother of the famous Evil Queen a matter of hours ago, but in that time he had seen enough to tell that this woman was worse than her daughter.

It had started with a frustratingly useless lead to track down the Crocodile's former maid, Belle, and led to the Evil Queen tricking him into going to Wonderland to kill her mother. But once he went, the Queen of Hearts, Cora, the woman he had been sent to kill, turned the tables on him when she revealed that her daughter never intended for him to have his revenge on the Crocodile.

Then again, killing the Crocodile had only become half of his mission now. The other part of his mission remained to be dealt with.

So, Cora brought him back to the Enchanted Forest, where she planned to kill her daughter.

Honestly, the loving relationship between mother and daughter was about as charming as a fish caught two weeks ago.

Yet, now the plan had changed completely, it would seem.

Cora had led Hook to the edge of the forest, where they could see thick black clouds covering the land, and slowly getting closer to them. Just by looking at them, Hook knew that these clouds, were more than a storm. They were death and destruction incarnate. Without hesitation, Cora stabbed her staff in the ground. Hook watched warily. If Neverland had taught him one thing, it was that he could never trust anyone. And this woman, he especially could not trust.

As the staff struck the ground, a beam of light shot out from the staff, and grew like a glass dome over them.

Hook could see the dome stretching out, and covering miles and miles of land.

For a single moment, the black clouds touched the dome. Then they flew over, leaving the dome, and everything under it untouched.

Hook let out a small sigh of relief. He was safe. He would remember.

He wouldn't forget the Crocodile, and his mission to kill him. And, perhaps more importantly, he wouldn't forget Jess. And his mission to find her when all was said and done.

Even after two years, after chasing leads to the Dark One's dagger, after traveling on land and sea for ages, after telling himself that he shouldn't let it bother him, Hook still had not forgotten about his lass. She had been the one who had made him feel again. Who had reminded him of what it was like to care about someone. And he had lost her.

For a while, he tried to drown his sorrows in rum, and distract himself by wooing the occasional pretty barmaid, or tracking down the Crocodile. But this did nothing. Every time he went to sleep, he would be haunted by those last few minutes, when he tried, but couldn't hold onto her. Her scream when he fell through the portal. The fear in her eyes when she saw the portal closing behind him.

It haunted as much as Milah's death had.

But he had no way of knowing anything. If she was alive, or dead. If she had managed to escape, or was still trapped in Neverland. He never knew, and even if he did, he would have no means of finding her again.

So, he made a promise to himself. He would avenge Milah, then he would find Jess, through whatever means necessary. He would find her and save her if she was still trapped. If not, he would still find her.

He glanced at Cora, and was surprised to see a look of pure peace on her face.

"Wouldn't be easier to have reconciled with your daughter _before_ her curse destroys this land?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

Cora gave a small shake of her head, looking ahead as the curse encased the dome, but not anyone inside.

"Regina doesn't need me," she replied. "Not now. Not when she _thinks _ she has won. But I still have a place in her heart."

Hook briefly wondered when she learned this new bit of information. No doubt when the Evil Queen needed a moment to say good-bye.

"And the curse won't last forever," continued Cora. "It _will_ end. In twenty-eight years there will be a saviour, and she'll break it."

Hook felt his heart stop at her last words.

"Twenty-eight years?" he repeated in shock.

He went to Neverland so that he wouldn't age. So that he could kill the Dark One without worrying about dying of old age in the process. If he had known he would have had to wait twenty-eight years, he would have stayed in Neverland.

Yes, it would have been hell all over, but at least he would still be young.

_And he would still have Jess. _

"You won't even notice," Cora reassured him. "You'll be frozen. Just like all of those in this corner of the realm. But when it ends, our quest will resume."

That's not quite what Hook had meant.

So he would not grow old. So twenty-eight years would fly by.

But what would that mean for the lass?

If she had gotten out, as he hoped she had, she would be a grown up when he found her. She may even be older than him.

When he saw her again, she wouldn't be a lass at all, but most likely a wife and mother.

And if not, if she was still trapped in Neverland, she would be trapped for another twenty-eight years. And time moved slowly in Neverland. Two years would already feel like five. Twenty-eight might as well be a lifetime.

A lifetime in which Pan could capture her, torture her, kill her, or worse. And he could nothing. Nothing, but hope with all his being that Jess had made it out. Are that she could hold out until he rescued her. She would hold out. He knew it. She was a strong lass, stronger than any woman he had ever seen. Except perhaps Milah.

And when the curse broke, he would avenge Milah, and find her again.

He had toned out what Cora was saying, something about picking up the pieces with her daughter. The petty family quarrel didn't matter to him.

He looked down at the chain around his neck. He wore a few things around it. Things that meant so much to him.

The cross that had been Liam's. The skull charm of a man who had tried to take the Roger away from him. But, right now, the thing that held his eyes was the butterfly pendant he had given her all that time ago. A reminder to himself to never forget the promise he had made to Jess.

_I will find you, lass. I will always find you._

* * *

There were moments when Charming had no idea what to do. Then, there were moments that he knew what he had to do, but he had no idea how, like when he had to put the Dark One's egg into the witch. But then, there were also moments when he knew exactly what he had to do, and that he had to see it through, no matter the cost.

And this moment was one of them.

As he held a sword in one hand, and his newborn baby daughter in his other, he knew beyond a doubt that he had to get his baby to safety. If the price of doing so was his own life, then so be it. He would gladly die to save his Snow and his baby girl.

He ran from the bedroom, hearing Snow's anguished cries behind him. His wife's cries nearly ripped him apart. He had to have faith his daughter would return, but in that time, he would have to wait twenty-eight years for her to come. Emma would grow up without him or Snow to watch, and guide her.

But, if he didn't, Emma would be suffering with the rest of them, at the mercy of Regina. This way, at least he could ensure his daughter's safety, and hope that the Dark One was right. That someday, his little girl would come back for them.

He was heading down the hall to the nursery when he heard it.

"Not this way," came a voice. "The queen's guards are coming."

Charming turned and what he saw nearly made him drop his sword with shock. It was figure of someone. Whatever he saw was translucent, like a ghost, but he could see that it was a girl, probably no older than seventeen or eighteen, watching him.

For a brief moment, their eyes met, and the girl's eyes widened with shock.

"You can see me?" she asked.

"Yes," Charming nodded.

The girl only stared at him in shock.

"How?" she murmured, more to herself than to him. "How is that possible?"

The girl, whoever she was, just seemed out of place. Her hair looked matted, her clothes, which were very strange, were torn, and she had the look in her eye of one who is chased. Everything about her seemed wrong.

Emma stirred in his arm, and he immediately recalled his mission. With a second glance at the girl, he took off down the hallway.

"No!" the girl shouted. "There are too many coming this way. Go that way."

She pointed down a second corridor, which would mean a longer route to the nursery. Charming didn't know why, but somehow, he knew whatever he was seeing, he could trust her. If it got Emma to safety, it would have to do.

He ran down the direction she indicated, and was vaguely aware of the girl running behind him. It would seem that the girl had been correct. He was able to run down the corridor without meeting any of Regina's men, until he was almost to the nursery.

He stopped when he saw two of Regina's men, with their faces covered, and their black armor shining, kill one of the guards. As soon as they threw him aside, they became aware of his presence.

Immediately, Charming brandished his sword, glancing down at his baby girl. His daughter.

He would do anything to get her to safety. Even if it meant dying for her.

Looking up, he charged the two men in black. He parried the swing of one, and pushed him back, then elbowed his partner in the face. The man fell back with a grunt. He turned, and swung at the first man, who had gotten up, just missing him by inches. The second swung at him, and Charming barely had time to block the strike before the man hit Emma.

He kicked the man back, and dodged the first's swing, stabbing at him from below. The man didn't get up.

"Look out!" cried the ghost girl.

Charming tried to dodge, but the second man swung at him while he was down, and was able to cut him at the shoulder.

Charming swiped under the man's arm, and the shock made the man pause for a brief second, giving Charming the time he needed to stab him in the heart. The man sank to the ground with his friend, but Charming was more focused on the nursery, and more importantly the wardrobe, only a few precious feet ahead.

Trying to hold his shoulder, while still holding Emma and the sword, he ran to the door and kicked it open. He ran in, heading straight for the wardrobe. The ghost girl followed, staying at the door keeping watch.

"Hurry," she said. "More are coming."

But Charming wasn't aware of that. He wasn't aware of anything as he laid his precious daughter in the wardrobe. He knew he had to get Emma out of this fast, but he had to kiss her gently one last time, before anything else.

"Find us," he whispered.

With that, he closed the doors of the wardrobe, and desperately worked to shut the latch.

"They're here!" said the ghost girl.

Charming only had time to grab his sword, and block one of the black knight's strikes. He could do nothing, however, to stop the second black knight from stabbing him in the abdomen.

His knees gave out from under him, and he fell to the floor.

One knight stood over him, making sure he didn't get up, while the other turned to the wardrobe, and struck at the doors. Charming was vaguely aware of the ghost girl moving beside him, and hovering over him. She touched him with her hands, but they just passed through him. The knight standing over them swung his sword at her, but it just passed through her.

The other was finally able to get the doors open.

The last thing Charming was aware of before darkness consumed him was that the wardrobe was empty.

* * *

Regina couldn't help but feel the sense of victory that rushed through her as she strutted through the palace. Her plan was almost complete. She had nearly won.

She just wanted one last chance, just one, to gloat over Snow before the woman forgot about Regina and their history completely. To remind her how she was taking her happy ending the same way Snow White had taken Daniel from her.

One of her knights had told her that Snow was in the nursery, crying over her dead husband. So the idiot shepherd had been killed? This day just kept getting better and better.

She looked out of the corner of her eye, and saw a young girl, perhaps eight or nine, watching her, huddled in a corner. On a closer look, Regina could see that the child was translucent, like a ghost, and wore a pink and purple nightgown.

_Of course_, she thought, with a small sigh of boredom. _A Dreamer._

Someone from another realm, descended from a banished fairy from the Enchanted Forest. A person whose soul was tied to the Enchanted Forest. According to Rumpelstiltskin, their souls would come to the Enchanted Forest when they slept, and they could see the events of the realm.

Rumpelstiltskin had also said that they were invisible, but Regina assumed as the curse was approaching, the walls between the realms were crumbling. As a side effect, the Dreamers must have become visible in the realm's final moments.

Deciding the little girl wasn't worth her time, Regina walked on, heading towards the nursery. She could hear Snow White's helpless pleas that her prince come back to her. As if pleading could make it possible. It was so pathetic, Regina had to bite back the urge to laugh. Did the girl even know how much she had pled for Daniel to come back to her?

"Don't worry, dear," she said, with a sneer. "In a few moments, you won't remember you knew him, let alone loved him."

The woman was clutching her husband's body, looking alone, tired, and heartbroken. Regina, out of the corner of her eye, noticed another Dreamer watching the scene play out in the corner. This one, also a girl, looked much more ragged than the little Dreamer Regina had seen outside. Yet, still, there was a striking resemblance between the two Dreamers. They had the same color hair, eyes, and face. Perhaps they were sisters?

"Why are you doing this?" asked Snow, sounding heartbroken.

Right, Regina was here to gloat, not notice Dreamers. She hardly cared about people of other realms, who had no effect on her.

"Because this is _my _happy ending," she snarled.

Regina reveled in the feeling of victory as Snow closed her eyes in despair. She had won. _She _had gotten the happy ending.

Her knights entered the room, and she prepared for one last taste before the curse came. She could already anticipate the look of horror on Snow's face when she saw her child would be permanently trapped and suffering under the curse.

"The child?" she asked, ready for them to hand the brat over.

"Gone," replied the knights. "It was in the wardrobe, then it was gone. There's no sign of it."

Regina's feeling of victory was suddenly replaced by one of fear. If the child escaped, if anyone escaped, then there would be a saviour. Someone to ruin her plans. Someone who would destroy everything she had worked so hard to create.

She turned back to Snow, who now looked hopeful.

"Where is she?" Regina snapped.

"She got away," replied Snow, with a smile.

Looking up at Regina, the queen could see the sense of victory she had felt seconds ago reflected in Snow's eyes.

"You're going to lose," the princess said. "I know that now. Good will always win."

Regina could sense the storm, her beautiful curse, coming closer. She smirked, knowing what was to take place. She would go, and revel in her victory in this new place. This Storybrooke. And if the saviour did appear, Regina would end her. She had ended so many already, her own father among them. What was one more person?

"We'll see about that," she replied, standing straight.

She laughed to herself as the ceiling started to crack above them, resisting the force of the curse. Then, a strong wind came, whirling around the room with such a force that the roof flew away, revealing the darkness outside.

Snow looked worried, but it was the Dreamer who truly looked afraid. It was as if the visitor could see beyond the storm clouds and darkness, and see what truly lied beyond the curse.

"Where are we going?" asked Snow.

"Somewhere horrible," replied Regina over the howling wind.

The windows shattered, and the black smoke started to fill the room. At the sight of it, the Dreamer started to scream. Regina grinned at that scream. It meant that she had won. Even this person who was not truly here could see it.

"Absolutely horrible," she continued, basking in the wind. "A place where the only happy ending will be mine."

The black smoke surrounded, and consumed them all, the Dreamer's scream dying with the rest of the Enchanted Forest.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey y'all! I hope you enjoyed that.

Before we go any further let me just say: how awesome was that season premiere? I won't say anything, in case any of my lovely readers haven't seen it yet, but I will just tell y'all it was _epic!_

Now, moving onto some slightly sadder news: between work and studying, I have gotten behind in writing. So, I may not be able to update every five days. I promise y'all, I _will_ be updating once a week, but it may not be as much as seven days. Just to give you guys a heads up.

A special thanks to **TheWheelofFate, ImaBiteChu, Mia District 4-2, dbomb7, **and **Neela4232** for putting this story on alert, and to ** 13, Kat1717, The Wolf Who Writes, ImaBiteChu, Mia District 4-2, **and **dbomb7 **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Dreamer-Girl96, Ode to a Fangirl, meguhanu, Uncommon fairy, **the white angel, and the guest for your awesome reviews. Also, a special thanks to **ArandoraStar** for giving me the idea of Jess's zip-lines. And, of course, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **for being my amazing betas! Y'all are awesome, thank you so much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Charming and Regina's points of view are especially appreciated. I literally had to watch the clips with their scenes on youtube second by second to get down their lines and actions. **:)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I don't own...you know what? I'm not going to even bother...**

* * *

I am still screaming when I wake up. It's as if I never stopped.

One minute, I was engulfed in the black smoke, the next..._Oh, God!_

I'm vaguely aware of Bae right beside me, telling me to calm down. I turn, and look him in the eyes.

"The curse...it happened...they're all gone," I say, babbling.

I'm not even sure how I know, or why I'm telling him. But, what I saw; what happened…

"What curse?" asks Bae, still trying to calm me down. "Jess, what are you talking about?"

I realize I'm gripping the front of his shirt, and release him. Part of me doesn't want to tell, but another part does. These dreams are mine. But, still, I can't hold back what I saw.

"I...I was in a castle," I whisper, trying to get a hold on myself. "And...I don't know. It was as if some sort of storm was covering the world. There was so much wind, and so much darkness."

I think of the two women I saw, who were consumed with me. One, full of hope, but worried. The other...laughing. _Laughing_ as the storm took her and all with her. Neither of them saw what I did. There's no way they could have. If they had seen it, they would have felt the fear I did.

"But I could see _beyond _the storm," I murmur, meeting Bae's eyes. "I could see what lay past it. I could see the world crumbling to dust. I could see what lay beyond...and it was empty. Like...like a void. There was no life, but there wasn't death either. It was just...nothing. Just me. And I was alone."

I find myself burying my face into Bae's shirt, sobbing.

I'm not sure why I'm so scared by what I saw. I don't even know if any of it was real. It probably wasn't. But to see the man and woman who I have written about-_dreamt about_to suddenly be ripped away, as their world dissolved into nothing is just...heartbreaking. I don't want it to end like this. I don't want them to spend an eternity, suffering, without knowing who they are. How, in my eyes, they are heroes of a great story.

I force myself to stop crying, and pull away from Bae, wiping my eyes.

"Sorry," I whisper. "I'm acting like a little kid."

Bae gives me a small reassuring smile, and shakes his head.

"It's okay," he replies soothingly. "It's okay to be afraid now and then."

I nod, sitting up. There's no way I can go back to sleep. Not after what I just saw. I just need to...I don't know.

_How am I supposed to come to terms with something that I wasn't even a part of?_

Then again, that isn't exactly true. At those last moments, as the man was taking his child to safety, he saw me. I know he did. For a second, he talked to me, before going the way I had directed.

That had never happened before. I've only been watching as a silent spectator for ages now. Why was he suddenly able to see me?

Not that it really matters. Right now, none of them even remember who they are, much less me. Right now, their world has crumbled. Does it matter if they saw me or not? They don't remember me, and they never will.

_Except, _I tell myself, _they got the baby away. If she's really who her parents believe her to be, then they may make it out, in the end. She may be able to save them. _

"But, someone got away," I say, wanting to tell this to Bae. "A little baby. Her parents were able to get her out."

Bae cocks his head, at this, looking curious.

"What was her name?" he asks.

I glance at him, curiosity filling me.

"Why do you want to know?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"A baby got away," he replies. "That must make her important. I kind of want to know her name."

I nod, and close my eyes, wracking my brain. Her name was stitched on the side of her blanket…

"Um," I say, trying to remember. "Emily? Emma? Something like that."

"Huh," says Bae. "I like that name. Emma…"

I remember how he told me about the people in his village, before he met the Darlings. Names like Morraine, or Milah, but he likes the sound of a name that's actually pretty common in my world.

_Bae is just full of surprises in that way, I guess. _

"It's alright," I reply, allowing myself to be distracted from the topic. "Not what I'd name my first girl, but it's alright, I suppose."

"Really?" asks Bae. "What would you name your first girl?"

I shrug at the thought.

"Never really thought about it," I reply. "I guess I always kind of liked Lisa for a girl's name."

"And a boy?" Bae asks.

_Wait a second…_

I glance at him suspiciously.

"You're trying to distract me, aren't you?" I say, letting my mock suspicion enter my voice.

Bae gives me an angelic look

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replies, innocently.

I roll my eyes, but grin. It doesn't take away from what I saw, but it does help cheer me up a bit.

"Neal," I reply, answering his question. "I always liked the name Neal."

Bae wrinkles his nose at that.

"What?" I ask defensively. "You don't like it?"

Bae shrugs.

"It just seems so…" he starts. "I don't know. Something about the name just bothers me."

"Bothers you?" I repeat, in slight disbelief. "A name bothers you?"

_And this is coming from a kid named Baelfire…_

"Alright, Mr. Cynic," I say, accepting the challenge. "What would you name your kid."

Bae looks me in the eye, his face dead serious.

"Arthur Bartholomew Bertram Bartimaeus," he replies, completely poker faced.

I can't help but laugh at this.

"What?" I ask. "So he'd be Art-Bart-Bert-Bart?"

"Exactly," replies Bae, eyes glinting mischievously.

I look at him, disbelieving.

"You have put a lot of thought into this," I note.

Bae simply shrugs.

"I've had a lot of spare time," he says.

I roll my eyes, but my thoughts trail off. I can't help but realize something: this conversation is kind of pointless, because I can't ever have a baby. Pan sealed this when he made me drink the water.

I mean, over all the time that I've been here, I haven't grown at all. Even my hair and nails haven't grown since I got here. I haven't had that time of the month for years (which I'm totally not complaining about). It's as if my body is frozen in the moment I arrived on Neverland. Even if I could become pregnant, I don't think the baby would even be able to grow within me. And I can't ever leave. Pan saw to that. So, I would just be eternally pregnant.

Besides, who would be the father? Bae?

I love him, but he's like a brother to me. He takes care of me, and I take care of him. We look out for each other. Anything beyond that would just seem wrong.

_Who then? Pan?_

I feel disgust rise just at the mere thought. I tricked Pan into kissing me, just to get away. But to really kiss him? To go beyond that? After all he's done to me, all that he's taken from me? There's no way I'm ever going to forgive him, much less let him kiss me again.

I sigh, and stretch, not ready to go back to sleep.

"Is it day yet?" I ask, standing up.

"I don't know," Bae replies, shrugging. "Haven't checked yet."

Pan controlling daytime and nighttime has always thrown us off, but nothing bigger than having us sleep a little longer than usual. After years of it, we're used to it.

"I'll check," I say, standing up, and climbing out of the hole.

"Be careful," warns Bae. "And if you see any Lost Boys-"

"Come straight back," I finish. "I know, I know."

Bae can be such a worry-wart sometimes.

I climb out, and am surprised to see the sun rising over the trees, the clouds rose and lilac. Sunrises happen so quickly in Neverland, I rarely get to catch one.

I remember how the dawn always represents hope in all the stories. A new day begins, and the heroes can start again and bring down the villain. Just like the people in my dreams. They had so much hope that their baby could save them, it was beautiful. Their little girl was their hope, their dawn.

So, why do I feel...bitter?

_Because that will never be me, _I realize. _No matter how much I fight, I can never truly leave Neverland. I can never have a family, or grow into the person I want to be. There's no dawn, no saviour who will rescue me._

As long as I'm trapped, there's no hope for me.

* * *

"Hook? Hook?"

Hook stirred, trying to block out the voice, trying to remain in the dream.

_He was on _The Roger_, sailing on the open sea. Milah was right by him, holding his hand, smiling. The traces of fear or worry about her husband and Baelfire were all gone. On Milah's hip, she balanced a small child. Hook could hear ringing laughter, and looking over the helm, he saw Baelfire and Jess, fighting with wooden swords. Baelfire had just missed Jess and she was laughing. _

"_Too slow, Bae," she said, swinging at him. _

_For a moment, the lass paused, as if feeling his eyes on her. She looked up at him, and smiled, all fear and grief from what she had gone through in Neverland erased. She looked, for once, truly happy._

"Hook, wake up."

He blinked, opening his eyes. He was lying on the ground, under the small canvas that he had made last night for a tent. Cora was standing over him, looking amused.

"Must have been a good dream," she mused. "You didn't want to wake up."

He sighed, and sat up, refusing to answer. The woman had threatened to rip his heart out. When she had, it had taken everything within him to not say anything about Neverland. He was not going to tell her anything more than what she knew.

And, he refused to admit it, but he thought he could still hear Baelfire and Jess's laughter.

"Aye," he said, getting to his feet. "It was a good dream."

"What was it?" asked Cora, still looking amused. "Killing the Dark One?"

How little the woman knew. If Hook didn't need her to get to the crocodile, he would have walked away right then and there.

"Something like that," he replied, lying through his teeth.

Cora smirked, almost as if she knew Hook was lying, but she didn't say anything. The woman was a viper. Hook would have to tread very, very carefully with her. Perhaps even more carefully than he had to with Pan.

"Come on," she said. "We should get moving."

"Why?" asked Hook. "You said it yourself, we're frozen in time. Why do we need to keep moving?"

"Because even frozen, we still could be killed," Cora explained carefully, as if explaining to a small child. "We need food and weapons. But, unfortunately, we weren't the only ones in this corner of the realm. This part will lose its resources quickly. We'll need to go out, beyond the border of this corner, to gain supplies."

Hook looked at her in surprise.

"Wasn't the rest of the realm destroyed with the curse?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Cora. "But that doesn't mean there is nothing beyond the border that kept us safe. There will still be things left behind. Things we can use."

So now they were picking off the remains of the curse, like vultures. Very bad form.

But, it was better than being trapped under a curse, not remembering his quest of revenge, or his plan to find Jess.

Before he could continue his train of thought, Cora waved her hand, and purple smoke engulfed him and her. The next thing Hook knew, he was standing in the ruins of some building. The blasted witch had transported them. Cora was right by him, smoothing out her skirts.

"Next time, a warning would be nice," he muttered sarcastically, surveying the ruins.

He could tell the place was once large and grand. A castle, or perhaps a large mansion.

Cora ignored his remark, and straightened.

"Look around, and collect whatever supplies you can carry," she said. "Meet me back here in an hour."

So now he was taking orders from her, like a common cabin boy? This has been easier when he was just supposed to rip the woman's heart out.

"Aye, aye, Captain," he muttered, turning away.

He immediately yelped and jumped in shock at what he saw as he turned.

It was a person. Or at least, it looked like a person, but it was transparent, like a ghost. Whoever it was, they were absolutely still, and their face was contorted with horror.

Cora turned to face him at the sound of his surprise, and her eyes landed on the figure. She approached the figure, then swung her hand at it, as if slapping it across the face. Her hand simply passed through the figure.

"Interesting," she muttered, leaning in for a closer look.

Hook glanced at her, part annoyed that she wasn't explaining what it was, part nervous at what he was looking at.

"Do you mind explaining?" he asked, stoically, looking the figure over. Something about the expression sent chills down Hook's spine. Chills worse than he had ever got in Neverland.

"It's a Dreamer," replied Cora, not taking her eyes off the figure. "Someone whose blood is somehow connected to this world, even though they live in another realm. When they dream, their soul travels to this world, and they watch as silent, invisible spectators."

Dreamer? Where had Hook heard the term? It was so familiar, but he couldn't remember where…

"So how are they visible now?" he asked, putting the question aside.

"The walls between this world and all others act as barriers," said Cora, straightening, but still staring at the Dreamer. "They are what force the Dreamers to be invisible. But when my daughter's curse took place, she was ripping people and objects from this world and putting them in another. As a result, the walls between this realm and the others crumbled, and the Dreamers became visible."

"And they are not moving now, because…" said Hook, implying the question.

"Because they were hit by the curse," finished Cora. "But they are souls, not bodies. Like us, they are frozen in time, but unlike us, they are frozen in the exact moment that they were touched by the curse. They won't move until the curse is broken. Every time that they dream, they will just resume the position they were in when they got taken by the curse."

For some reason, Hook couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor blokes. Frozen in time, unable to move whenever they fell asleep, unable to dream. All because they fell asleep at the wrong time.

"Come on," said Cora, finally tearing her eyes away from the Dreamer. "We need to collect supplies."

Hook gave the Dreamer one last look, before moving on with Cora. Deciding to cover more ground by separating, Hook climbed to the next few floors, collecting swords and knives that were strewn about in his path as he went.

He passed by a couple more Dreamers, but tried not to give them much thought. He did not want to admit the truth to himself: that he was almost scared of them. Their odd positions, their expressions of horror and despair. Souls that were affected only because they were bound by blood to the Enchanted Forest.

However, as he went down a corridor, he saw one that made him pause. It was a small girl, no older than nine. But it wasn't the fact that the Dreamer was a child that stopped him. He _knew_ her. It was so long ago, but he would never forget the night that he met Jess's little sister, Abby.

Stopping, he crouched down beside the child, studying her face. Like all the others, her expression was one of frozen fear, but unlike the others, her eyes were more sad than afraid. And Hook had the feeling that he knew why. The poor thing had already endured so much misery, being kidnapped by Pan, watching her sister get taken, now this. To the girl, the curse was just another added pain to her life. Not child should have to feel that way.

And now, whenever she dreamed, she would be frozen in that moment of fear and sadness. Now, for the next twenty-eight years.

"I'm sorry, child," he murmured, knowing there was nothing more he could do. If he could, for both Abby and Jess's sake, he would free her then and there.

Getting up, he turned the corner into another room. Inside, it looked like the ruins of a nursery. Broken toys, a beaten cradle, a small wardrobe carved out of a tree. Hook looked around the room, quickly realizing that there was nothing of value here. That is, until his eyes fell on the Dreamer in the corner.

Hook felt his heart plummet, and he immediately dropped whatever he was carrying, rushing to the Dreamer's side.

_Not her. Please, not her!_

He scanned the Dreamer's face, hoping that he would see something. Some birthmark, something different to prove to himself that it wasn't Jess in front of him, but someone with a very close resemblance to her.

But, no. It was her. Her clothes were torn, her hair was matted, and she was thinner than the last time he saw her. But it was definitely his lass.

Like all the other Dreamers, her face was fearful, her mouth open, as if in a silent scream. But in her eyes, Hook would almost say she was looking beyond. As if she saw the curse, but then saw what lay past it.

Hook moaned, reaching out to touch her face. His fingers just fell through. Here, she was nothing more than a frozen spirit.

And back home...no, she wasn't back home, Hook realized.

If she had, she would have looked different. He could tell just by looking at her that she was still trapped on Neverland. Why else would she be so ragged and thin? No, she hadn't gotten out of Neverland.

Which meant she was still at Pan's mercy. And Hook could do nothing to get her out, because he was trapped here for another twenty-eight years.

"I'm so sorry, lass," he whispered. "I promised to help you, and I failed you. You're still a prisoner, but I walk free."

He straightened, still refusing to look away from her. Cora said he wouldn't notice twenty-eight years? Then let them fly by as fast as possible. To hell with Cora and her promises. Because as soon as he was free, he was finding a way back to Neverland, and getting his lass out, if it killed him.

"I will get you out, lass," he promised. "I swear, not matter the cost, I _will_ get you out of there.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey, guys!

First of all, I am so, so sorry for the wait! These past couple of weeks have been an absolute nightmare, between homework, essays, and tests. I haven't had time to write at _all. _I really, really appreciate y'all's patience for me to update. Just to give y'all a head's up, next chapter may be up late, too, but I will have to see what my schedule is like...

Also, as a fun fact, the Art-Bart-Bert-Bart is actually a shout out to my younger sister, who claims that is what she will name her first son. She also says her second son will be named Benedict-Terrance-Donald-Thaddeus, so that he will be Ben-Ter-Don-Thad, as a pun on Been There, Done That. I am going to have a lot of unhappy nephews in the future...

Anyway, a special thanks to **chibichibi98, jgibbs9, smokingwinds, **and **maryb1439 **for putting this story on alert, and to **ChristineDaae-ThePrincess** for favoriting it. Also, thank you** sarah0406, meguhanu, Ode to a Fangirl, Female whovian, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, SansaFort, **musicbookslife, and ihatefiesyks for your awesome reviews! And, as always, thank you to my awesome betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms! **You guys are all great; I couldn't do this without y'all!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Hook and how he gets along with Cora are especially appreciated! **:)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Hm...I don't have anything this time...see Chapter 1.**

* * *

How long has it been since I was dreamt of the curse? Five years? Ten?

After so long, I lost count. Time has just become...irrelevant. Even in my dreams, I can't tell time, because every dream I've had since the curse is the moment that I was consumed by it. Every night, I wake in the same terror, as if I had just first seen the curse.

"Jess? Are you alright?"

Bae's voice brings me back, and I shake my head, clearing my thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm good," I reply, wiping sweat from my forehead. I don't know why, but it is uncharacteristically hot today.

Bae nods, and together we continue on. Lately, our traps haven't caught anything, so we're trying to find new places that can be used for food. We've decided to try the river that Pan pushed me into my first night on Neverland.

It's very strange. Pan has just sort of disappeared. I haven't seen him, heard him, or sensed him since...I'm not sure. Since the water, I think.

I still haven't forgotten about it. I refuse to forget about it. Every night, I go to my mindbox,open it, and remind myself of all that I am. All that I lost. All that Pan took from me.

But, overtime, its as if Pan has just become a distant threat. A memory that I've forgotten after so long.

And, I'm alright with it. Being away from Pan, being safe, is what I've wanted for a very, very long time. And, after all this time, I feel safe. I would expect Pan would have acted if he could still sense me when I'm alone or safe, but he hasn't. I guess that means I'm off the hook for now.

We arrive at the river, in silence. I bend over the water, unable to hide the small smile creeping onto my face as I remember Pan pushing me into the water.

Back then, things were different. I was different. I was ignorant, innocent. Naive.

I thought that my biggest worries were passing high school, and getting into college. I didn't realize that there were people like Pan. And just how far Pan would go to have me. I didn't realize what it was like to live on my own, to fight, hunt, and struggle to survive.

I feel the heat of the sun beating down on me, I look down at the water. I know we should set the traps, but I really, really don't want to. Not in this heat.

"You know what, Bae?" I say. "Let's just call it a day."

Bae looks at me in surprise.

"And do what?" he asks. "Jess, we haven't even set the traps yet, and we hiked all the way here-"

I roll my eyes, and take off my shoes.

"Come on, Bae," I say. "We have gone through worse, and we've survived. Let's take a day off."

Before he can reply, I run barefoot into the shallow part of the water. I grin at the cool water running over my feet, and look back at Bae, who is hanging back, looking skeptical.

"Come on," I say, waving my hand, beckoning for him to come. "Just this once?"

Bae hesitates for a minute, then takes off his boots before joining me in the water. I'm glad. With so much work to make sure we don't starve, Bae rarely gets a chance to do something fun. I mean, I have my ziplines, so I get my daily dose of fun everyday, but he doesn't. He still looks reluctant when he's in the water, so I splash a handful of water.

"Hey!" he says in surprise, as I laugh at his expression. It's too perfect, with the water dripping down his face.

"Oh, so that's how it is?" he asks, grinning evilly. He bends down, and sends a handful of water flying at me.

With a small scream, I duck, and let loose a return splash. Before I know it, the two of us are shouting playful insults, locked in an epic combat of splashing each other.

Our fun is suddenly cut short when an arrow from the opposite bank flies between us, narrowly missing us. Bae and I look up instantly, and see at least five or six Lost Boys emerge from the forest on the opposite bank, weapons drawn.

"Run!" I shout, but I don't have too.

Bae and I are already out of the water, and running into the forest, not bothering to grab our shoes. Instinctively, I imagine shoes on both of our feet as we run. For once, Bae doesn't object, but urges me on as we run through the forest. Behind, I can hear the Lost Boys calling to each other and shouting while Bae and I run.

_This is why we need to always be careful,_ I remind myself. _Pan wants me. If I give him the slightest opening, he's going to take it. I should have made sure that the area was clear before I had Bae come into the water with me._

_Badly done, Jess. Really, badly done!_

I consider having us climb one of the trees, and use my lines, but we would have to take turns. I don't like the idea of one of us waiting with the Lost Boys right behind us. I glance back, and my heart plummets. The boys are literally three feet away. I don't know how Bae and I are going to make it.

My sixth sense suddenly feels something. Something powerful, wild, chaotic, but concentrated. I haven't felt that since...since...

Since the water. Right before I blacked out, something came to the cliff. Something that frightened Pan. And it is right here. Right above me.

_Crap! _

Bae looks up, as if he can feel it too. I follow his gaze, and only have time to register the dark shadow that swoops down, before an icy hand grabs me by the back of my shirt. The feeling is exactly the same as Pan's shadow. Even if I live a hundred years, I will never forget the icy coldness of a shadow.

I don't even have time panic, before it lifts me off the ground, and flies off.

I look down, and I see Bae just below, jumping to grab me.

_No! Whatever this thing is, whatever it's doing, Bae is still down there, with the Lost Boys. He' s still in danger!_

I'm not sure what this is, or why it's taking me, but that's not my priority right now. Right now, Bae is still being chased. And if the Lost Boys catch him, if he get's taken back to Pan.

"Wait!" I shout at the Shadow. "Please, you have to go back!Bae's still back there! He's in danger, the Lost Boys are still after him. If Pan gets him, he's going to get killed!"

The Shadow ignores me, but continues to fly me over the forest. I try struggling, but the Shadow just grips me tighter.

I remember the first time I was taken by Pan's shadow. I screamed and struggled, but I was helpless. Well, not this time. Not when Bae needs me.

I imagine a flashlight, switch it on, and shine it at the Shadow. It lets out a high screech, and shies away from the light's beam. For a second, it releases it's hold on me, and I brace myself for the fall.

I fall for only a split second before an icy hand grabs me by the neck, and everything fades to black.

When I open my eyes, all I can see is dark. Not only that, I _feel_ darkness. My sixth sense is almost overwhelmed by what I feel. It's darkness, but not the twisted kind, like Pan's or his shadow. A wild, chaotic darkness, but not evil.

I blink, and force myself to sit up. My eyes start to adjust, and I can start to see everything around me, in a red light, like twilight. Around me are trees, like a forest, except there's something wrong with these ones. They're all leafless and broken. Dead.

But if they are dead, there shouldn't be any leaves blocking the sun. So why is it so dark here?

I stand, slowly, looking around. I'm not sure what kind of place this is, but I'm not sticking around to find out.

_Wait…._

Bae. He was in danger. The Lost Boys were right on his tail, and they were getting closer. He's in trouble.

Right, I'm definitely not staying here. Bae needs me.

I start to take off in a run, when I feel something right behind me, with my sixth sense. The Shadow.

I turn, and see it hovering in front of me. I can tell it's not Pan's shadow. Whenever that got close, I could feel the same darkness as Pan. This one is different. It is like Neverland. Neither good nor bad. Wild, and powerful.

I don't think it will hurt me, though. If it did, it could have done so when I was unconscious. But, it does lead to the question of why it took me in the first place.

"Why did you take me?" I ask it. "What is this place?"

It doesn't answer, but looks at me, almost in contemplation.

"Where's Bae?" I ask, trying again.

Again, no reply. Well, if it want's to play that way, then I don't have the time. I don't know how long I was out, but if Bae got caught, there's no way of knowing what Pan has done to him so far.

I turn, and take a step to run again.

"Dark Hollow."

I stop at the cold, high voice. I feel goosebumps run down my spine, but I ignore them as I turn around to face the Shadow.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"This place is called Dark Hollow," the Shadow says, slowly, as if explaining to a child.

I really don't like the sound of that. Neverland is already dangerous, so I would especially like to avoid any place that begins with "dark."

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask, hoping it will answer me this time.

"For a long time, I have protected you and the boy from Pan, but allowed you to wander Neverland," the Shadow replies. "But, Pan has made a move. It is no longer safe for you to be wandering Neverland. I brought you here for your own safety."

"You've protected me?" I repeat, growing more confused by the minute. "What do you mean? Actually, scratch that, who are you, anyway?"

The Shadow regards me curiously, before flying around me, forcing me to turn. I really don't want to turn my back on this thing. It may not hurt me, but Pan didn't either. At least, not physically. I can't trust this thing, either.  
"I am the voice and guardian of Neverland," the Shadow replies. I can almost detect a note of pride in its voice. I'm guessing it's job is a great honor to it.

"Congratulations," I say sarcastically. "What do you mean you've been protecting me? I have been here a long time, and have never seen you."

"I kept myself invisible to you over all this time, but I assure you, I've been looking after you," it replies.

"Really?" I ask, crossing my arms. "Because it sure seems like Bae and I have had to make it on our own, without your help."

"So you thought, yes," the Shadow says, almost lazily. "But did you ever wonder how you were always able to find food when you needed it? How something was always able to draw the Lost Boys away when they got too close? How Pan has never been able to find you after all these years?"

I raise an eyebrow in surprise.

"That was you?" I ask. "You've been keeping Pan away? Why?"

"You are a Dreamer," the Shadow replies. "This makes you important to Neverland. When Pan used Neverland's magic against you, I was alerted, and it became my task to look after you."

Suddenly, that makes so much more sense. That was why I've never seen Pan after all this time. This Shadow, whatever it is, has been keeping me safe. That was why Pan was never able to find me after he made me drink the water, even after I felt safe. He was blocked.

But, if he's been blocked after all this time, why did am I here?

"So, what changed?" I ask. "Why did you have to bring me here?"

The Shadow pauses, as if considering its next words.

"The situation is...fluid," it replies. "It is no longer safe for you to wander Neverland. Here, my powers are at their fullest. Here, I can be able to keep you safe from Pan."

That doesn't answer my question. It just avoided it. The Shadow is hiding something from me.

"Fluid how?" I ask. "What is going on that means you had to bring me here?"

The Shadow pauses again.

"I made a mistake," it replies. "I let a scout pick up your trail, and Pan's men were able to find you. They had gotten too close, and I had to take quick action, before they caught you."

"But why here?" I ask. "Couldn't you have just grabbed Bae and I and taken us back to the c…"

I trail off, understanding dawning on me. I look back up at the Shadow, which is refusing to meet my eyes.

"Pan has Bae, doesn't he?" I whisper. "And he's trying to torture my location out of him?"

The Shadow still refuses to meet my eyes. That's confirmation enough.

I feel my heart plunge. Bae is in danger. What's more, is Pan is torturing him. For me. Bae is suffering because of me.

_Alright, Pan. You want me? Here I come._

I'm not letting him touch Bae, or anyone else I love ever again.

I turn, and take off into a run. I need to get out. I need to find him before I lose someone else. I already lost Abby and Hook. I'm not losing Bae too.

Suddenly, the Shadow appears in front of me, and I force myself to stop dead in my tracks.

"Where are you going?" it asks, sounding confused.

"To find Bae, and get him out," I reply, through gritted teeth.  
I've already lost so much time. I don't care if this thing is supposed to protect me, I'm not letting it get in my way. Not when Bae needs me more than ever.

I try to step around it, but the Shadow moves in my way again.

I glare at it, ready to drag it out in full sunlight, and let it know what I think of its "protection."

"Get out of my way," I say, my voice dangerously low.

"I cannot," replies the Shadow. "If you leave, you will be putting yourself in danger."

"Does it look like I care?" I shout. "Bae is in danger. Now get out of my way before I-"

Before I get the chance to finish, the Shadow waves it's hand, and I'm thrown back, into a tree. Not enough to hurt, just to throw me off guard.

Before I can react, two dead branches near the trunk come to life, and fasten themselves around my wrists tightly. They pull in opposite directions, so my arms are above my head, wide apart, while I sit on the ground.

I try to pull my wrists out, but the branches only tighten themselves around my wrists.

_No. Not what I need. Exactly what I don't need. _

I turn, and see the Shadow hovering above me. That son of a...

"I thought you said you were supposed to protect me," I say, practically spitting at him.

"And you were trying to leave my protection," replies the Shadow. "It is my task to keep you safe, and I will do it through any means necessary. Even if that means restraining you if you insist on being discovered."

I feel panic surge through me, worse than ever. Worse than when Pan first took me, worse than when he forced me under the water. Bae is in danger, and this thing is insisting that tying me to a tree is the best option.

"Listen, you bastard," I snarl. "I don't care about your so-called tasks and duties. Bae is in danger, and Pan will kill him if he has his way. I know Bae, and he won't talk. Let me go, and I will be able to get him out, and save him."

"By doing so, you put yourself in danger," the Shadow calmly replies. "I cannot allow that to happen."  
_Oh, for crying out loud! I don't have time for this. _

"Then you just hang back, and make sure that the both of us get out," I insist. "Bae won't talk, but Pan won't let him out until he does. The longer we wait, the more danger Bae is in."

The Shadow pauses, and for a moment, I think it's going to do it. I think it's going to release me. But, then the moment ends, and the Shadow turns away, and starts to fly off.

I feel the panic start to be over run by anger. How dare it? That thing insists to keep me safe, it needs to lock me up, but it won't lift a finger to help Bae? Bae, who has given so much to look after me, much more than this thing ever has?

"So that's it then?" I shout after it, struggling against my bonds. "You're just going to leave me here to rot and leave Bae to die? You don't even know him. Not like I do. He won't break. Not to Pan."

The Shadow turns back to me, and flies closer to me.

"You don't know that," it replies, glaring at me with its icy eyes. "You don't know how persuasive Pan can be when he wants something. What he will do to get it."

_Uh, yeah, I do. I'm the one who was force-fed the water_.

But I catch it. It's subtle, but I saw it.

"Sounds like you know it well," I murmur coldly. "His persuasiveness. His ambition."

The Shadow pulls back, as if startled, and again looks away. Almost guilty.

"What happened?" I ask, coolly. "You fall under his spell, like the other Lost Boys? Or were you a victim, like I am?"

The Shadow turns, and seems to be on the brink of decision. Finally, it turns to me.

"It would be easier to show you," it mutters, as if to itself.

With that, it reaches out and barely touches my forehead with icy fingertips.

* * *

Suddenly, I'm standing in broad daylight in the middle of the forest. Immediately, I look around, taking in my surroundings. I'm not sure what the Shadow is doing, but whatever it is-

_Wait. I know this place. _

I pause, and look around again. I haven't been here since Abby's last visit to Neverland, but I will never forget it. I'm standing in the clearing of the Pixie Dust trees. And I'm not alone.

I suddenly become aware of a small boy, sitting with his back to the Pixie Dust tree, curled into a ball, crying his eyes out. In his hand, he holds a small corn husk doll, dressed in a blue jacket.

For a moment, I pause, because his clothes are like that of a Lost Boy's. But, I don't recognize him from the other Lost Boys I saw, all that time ago, when I fled from them.

_No, I won't think about that. I won't think about that night. _

His sobs become a little louder, and I walk over to him, crouching down beside him. He can't be older than Abby was, the last time I saw her. He has yet to look up, or notice me.

"Hey," I murmur consolingly. "Hey, are you alright?"

The boy takes no notice, but continues to sob. I reach out to touch him, but my hand passes through him, like a ghost.

I step back, realizing what's going on. I'm not really here. I'm like I was in my dreams. I'm just watching, but not interacting with the events I see.

Except the Shadow said it was showing me. Is this some sort of memory?

There is a rustle in the tree, and I look up to see an oily man with ragged clothes and a scruffy beard climb down from the trees. He has the same hair color as the boy. His father, maybe?

"What's wrong?" he asks, as he gets to the ground. "Rumple?"

The boy looks up, and turns to the man, relief clearly written across his face.

"Papa!" he cries, running into the man's arms.

So, it is the boy's father. Rumple...that name sounds familiar.

"Papa, I've been terrified about you," Rumple says, his voice filled with an accent that I know I've heard from somewhere.

The boy's father kisses the boy's forehead, but I can barely detect a hint of guilt in the man's eyes. What exactly was he doing in the Pixie Dust Tree?

"No, no," says the father, reassuringly, pulling back, and cupping his son's face with his hands. "I'm fine, son. You don't have to worry about me."

With that, he pulls his son back into an embrace, and I can't hold back a small smile at this display of father and son affection. It's beautiful. Something I haven't seen in a long, long time.

"Did you get the Pixie Dust?" Rumple asks, not sounding hopeful or greedy, but simply curious. I get the feeling that he isn't the one who wanted some. I guess his father was.

"Yes," replies his father, lowering his eyes. "But when I tried some, it didn't work."

The way he's avoiding his son's glance, the way he blinks as if hiding the guilt. I know that look. I've seen it before. The man is hiding something, and it isn't good.

"Why not?" asks the boy, again sounding curious, instead of disappointed or upset.

"I'm not a boy anymore," his father replies, and I can detect a trace of sadness in his voice. "You were right. Neverland is just for children. Adults don't belong here."

So, how did the father get here? Hook got here through a bean, but how did the boy and his father both get here? Did they use a bean as well?

After all the children I've seen on Neverland, I half expect Rumple to send him away, tell his father to leave him alone, and say that he will live on Neverland on his own. But not this little boy. For some reason, this boy is different from the other young boys I've met on the island.

"Then we'll leave and go somewhere else," he says, walking away from the tree, and turning to his father. "All that matters is that we're together."

Something about his father's stance seems wrong. It's firm, but his hands are shaking like he's nervous. He's planning something. Something that his son won't like. I don't like this…

"I wish it was that easy," he mutters.

Rumple blinks, and looks at him in confusion.

"What are you up too?" I whisper, even though neither of them can hear me.

"We both know," continues the man. "Wherever we go, I'll go back to my old ways."

Finally, he looks up, and meets his son's eyes.  
"I can never be the father you need me to be," he says. "I'm too weak."

"I don't understand," says the boy, stepping closer to his father. "What are you trying to say?"

Again, the man looks away, but not in guilt. In eagerness. In desire.

"There's a way I can stay," he mutters. "A way I can make the Pixie Dust work so I can fly again. Just like I was when I was a boy."

There's now an eager glimmer in his eyes.

No, something is wrong. Something is wrong, and it's going to hurt this child. This child who wants nothing more than to be with his father.

"How?" asks Rumple, a trace of fear in his eyes. He's starting to see what I've been seeing since his father climbed down from the tree.

The man looks down at his son, and I don't see any affection, or love in his eyes. If anything, I see resentment. Why does this man resent his son? From what I've seen, the kid is actually quite lovable.

"By letting go of the thing holding me back," he replies firmly.

He looks him in the eye. He looks his own child in the eye as he says the word that I know he will say.

"You."

Out of nowhere, with a rattling breath, the Shadow appears and grabs the boy by the back of his tunic, like it did to me mere hours ago.

"Help me!" cries Rumple, immediately realizing that something is wrong.

He reaches out and grabs his father's hand, but his father grits his teeth as his son pulls his hand. As if he's resisting his own son. His own son who is scared to death by what's grabbing him.

"A monster!" cries the son as he's pulled in the air. The only thing that keeps the boy from flying away is his hold on his father.

_No. No, this isn't right! _

"What are you doing!" I shout at the father, even though he can't hear me. "It's going to take your son! Stop this!"

"It's not a monster, Rumple," says the father, staring straight at his son.

Like his eyes, there is no affection. He is dead set in his task. He doesn't care that his son is scared, and whimpering in front of him.

"It's a friend," he says. "It's part of the island."

"Help me!" cries Rumple, sounding alone, and helpless.

For a moment, I can't help but think of Abby. How she was being dragged away, and I held on. Except Pan's shadow hit me and knocked me out before I let go.

I instinctively reach out, and try to grab the boy. Try to hold on. But I'm nothing but a spectator. My hand passes through Rumple, useless.

"I don't have a choice," the man says, his voice calm, and patient.

Oh my god! He is trying to justify himself. He honestly believes he is doing the right thing. And he's going to justify himself to his own son, who he is putting in danger.

"To stay here," he says. "I have to believe I'm young again. And with you here to remind me, I can't."

"No, Papa, please!" Rumple pleads. "Help me."

But his pleas fall on deaf ears. His father no longer sees his son as his child, but as a burden. But I see what he does not. I see the look in Rumple's eyes, and I know it. I felt it when Dad was leaving, and I figured out what was going on. When I ran out, and begged him not to leave, before he drove away.

"I can't have a child, Rumple," insists the man. "I'm sorry, but it's true. Don't fight it. We both know you're better off without me. I was never meant to be a father."

_No. No, I can't see this. I can't watch this. I can't look on as a child is abandoned by his father as I was. _

But I have too.

I have to watch, unable to do intervene, as the father looks his son in the eye, and lets go.

"No!" screams Rumple, dropping the doll.

For a moment, I think the Shadow is going to fly away with Rumple. But, instead, it pauses, as a green glow engulfs the father, the same way Pixie Dust does when it makes you fly.

The Shadow points down at the glowing smoke, as it fully covers the father. Instead of flying, something changes. I'm not sure what, with the glow, but I can tell something is changing.

The glow suddenly fades, and where the father once stood is Peter Pan.

I immediately step back, staring at him in shock.

"You?" I whisper.

_What just happened? Did he abduct the father, and have the Shadow take the boy...no, wait. _

He didn't. Pan didn't do anything to the father. Pan _is _the father.

Pan doesn't respond, but looks down, inspecting himself, before he looks back up at his son.

The Shadow flies away, with Rumple still struggling and screaming. Pan just watches them fly away, not even bothering to say or do anything as his own son is taken away.

* * *

Suddenly, I'm back in Dark Hollow.

Somehow, I'm free of my restraints, and I'm panting.

I feel pain at my wrists, and I look down. To my surprise, they are covered with blood.

_What? _

I look up at the Shadow, which is still hovering over me with its rattling breath. It's as if it never left. All I feel is confusion, fear, and...anger.

"You forced your wrists out of the restraints while you were watching the memory," the Shadow says.

That must have been when I was trying to stop the boy from being taken. I thought something was holding me back, but I wasn't thinking at the time, I guess.

"I will heal you," the Shadow says, suddenly hovering in front of me.

It reaches out, and touches my wrists. Again, the touch is icy, and my wrists go numb with the cold, but when the Shadow removes its hands, my wrists are healed.

I become aware of the tears that are streaming down my face.

_Why am I crying?_

I know why. Because of what I saw. I saw who Pan was. I saw what he did to become the monster I know him to be. I saw him trade his own son for youth.

"Why did you show me that?" I whisper.

The Shadow hovers above me, but for once, it does not feel threatening.

"You needed to know where Pan came from," it replies. "What he did to get his youth. What he is willing to do to get what he wants."

I believe it. Pan was willing to give up his own son for youth. It would make a lot of sense that he would be willing to hurt me for whatever twisted reasons he has.

"But why that?" I whisper. "I already knew that he would go through great lengths. Heck, I'm the victim of those great lengths, remember? Why put me through that?"

The Shadow pauses, but this time, it seems more sure of itself.

"Dark times are coming," it replies. "I suspect that soon, you're going to have to make a choice. And, whatever you decided, you must know _never _ to trust Pan."

I shake my head.

"No, there's more to this," I insist. "I already would never trust him. Why did you have me watch him give up his own son?"

The Shadow looks at me up and down, as if wondering whether to reply or not.

"Who was the one person you refused to forgive before you ever came to Neverland?" asks the Shadow.

There are so many answers to that. My Mom, kids in school. But, if it means above all…

"My father," I murmur. "I still have yet to forgive my father."

"Why?" asks the Shadow.

It already knows. I know it does. But, I still need to say it.

"Because he abandoned me and my sister," I say. "Because he left us for another woman, even though he told us he loved us. And I have never forgiven him for that."

"Exactly," says the Shadow. "Now you have seen what Pan is, deep inside."

I have seen it. I should have seen it a long time ago.

For a while, I thought that Pan was the worst person in the world. But, now that I've seen this, I know for sure. The things Pan has done to me, I will never forgive him for them. But, after my own father abandoned me, I can't think of a greater sin than abandoning your own kids. And Pan did it.

Pan is no different from my father.

And because of that, no matter what he does, no matter how much he tries to make me forget my old life, there is no way I can erase what I've just seen. How his own son, terrified and alone, was abandoned by him.

The Shadow suddenly stirs, and looks around, as if sensing something.

"What is it?" I ask, standing up, and wiping my eyes.

"Pan," it replies. "He has resumed trying to use his magic to locate you. I guess you were right, the boy did not break."

"You think?" I ask, sarcastically.

But, if Bae didn't reveal anything, and Pan is now using magic to find me…

_Oh, God. Bae!_

I assume I'm out of house arrest, and if I'm not, then I'm going anyway. Without warning, I take off, imagining a trail leading me to Bae. I can imagine ziplines once I'm in the trees, it will be faster.

"Where are you going?"

I turn, and look at the Shadow.

"I'm going to find Bae," I snap. "And if you think you can stop me, I'll-"

"No need," replies the Shadow, cutting me off.

With that, it swoops down, and grabs me by the back of my shirt again. Before, this way of carrying me scared me, but after seeing that the Shadow carried off that poor boy...it just seems wrong.

"The boy is out of Pan's camp," the Shadow says as we fly, it's voice somehow crystal clear over the wind. "But I can't tell where he is."

Well, I guess if it is the voice of Neverland, it would be able to sense where everyone is. It is part of the island, after all. And, it seems my protector is now my helper instead of my warden. Well, that was a quick switch.

"Just drop me off where you took me," I call over the wind. "I'll track him from there."

The Shadow nods, and a few minutes later, it descends into the trees, into the place it grabbed me. As soon as my feet touch the ground, I run over, looking for tracks. Yes, I can find Bae's track, along with several others. He was still being chased when I got taken.

However, these tracks are intersected with fresher, newer tracks. A few sets of prints that match the ones of the Lost Boys. And behind them a large smear. As if something were being dragged behind them. Like a body.

That's when I notice the dirt is mixed with something red. With trembling fingers, I take a small finger full, and hold it up for closer inspection. My heart plummets when I realize that it is blood mixed with the dirt.

_Oh, God. What did they do to Bae? _

I immediately get up, and follow the tracks, leading back the way Bae and I ran. The forest is now deadly silent, except for the rattling breath of the Shadow. Together, the Shadow and I go after the smears, though I feel a new wave of fear every time I see blood mixed in the dirt.

But, as we approach the river, something makes me stop dead in my tracks.

Lying, half in the water, is a familiar boy. And he's not moving.

_Oh, God, no, NO!_

I run forward, and into the water, not caring if I get wet. I realize that the water surrounding him is tinged with red. I kneel next to the Bae, and turn him over. He doesn't stir.

I gasp as I see his face. All over his face and arms are cuts and bruises, and he looks pale and weak.

Immediately, I check for a pulse. I feel nothing.

_No. No, no please. Not Bae. Please, not Bae!_

"What did you do?" I whisper.

I look up in the sky, and I know, somewhere Pan can hear me, and he's laughing about it.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sorry leave y'all hanging, but it had to be done.

A special thanks to **Michyo61, jocleve213, Firerox13, Stellar Nymph, IceTeaReader, **and **Obscure Stranger **for putting this story on alert, and to ** 14, jocleve231, Stellar Nymph,** and **Obscure Stranger **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **chibichibi98, sarah0406, Live4dancing, narisadar, meguhanu, Dreamer-Girl96, Ode to a Fangirl, SansaFort, **and **scorpiongirl92 **for your awesome reviews and support. And, of course, a special thanks to my beta-readers **Uncommon fairy** and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**. Y'all are great, thank you so much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Jess, the Shadow, and the memory are especially appreciated! **:)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Warning: This chapter contains violence and torture.**

* * *

**8 Hours Ago**

_Don't panic. Whatever happens, do not panic._

Panicking only let Pan knew you were afraid. So, Bae couldn't panic.

It was hard to do, though, when the Lost Boys had tied him to a tree trunk, far away enough from Pan's camp to not scare the younger boys, but nowhere near his cave. His arms were tied above him, and his feet were tied together. And, whichever boy did his knots, he really knew them. Bae would have to work on getting out when his hands were tied.

But, after that, they had just left him alone. Some may have wondered why, but Bae had a pretty good idea of what they were doing. They were letting him wait, and grow more anxious. More afraid of what Pan had in store for him.

So, the trick was not to panic. By staying calm, Bae could be ready to find a oppurtunity to escape, and take it.

He was just scared about Jess. That shadow...well, it hadn't looked like Pan's shadow, but who else would it belong to?

But, he didn't see her when the Lost Boys had dragged him away, and the boys had seemed surprised when the shadow grabbed her. It was possible she had gotten away somehow. That she was able to use a light to get the shadow to drop her, just has he had when he was first brought to Neverland.

He would have to hope that was what happened. If not...Jess was probably in more danger than he was. And if that was the case, Bae had to get out and help her, before Pan did something worse to her. He already knew how Pan was hurting her. How he was getting inside her head, and tormenting her. What would Pan do now that he caught her?

No, he couldn't think about that. He had to trust in Jess. He had to trust in his sister, that she would be resourceful enough to escape Pan. She had already done it several times, and she could do it again.

He heard a twig snap, and he looked up. He felt his heart sink as Pan and Felix made their way towards him. They looked no different than they had the last time Bae had seen them, when Jess was under the spell of Pan's pipes. No surprise there, since nobody grew up on Neverland.

"Been a long time, Baelfire," said Pan, smirking.

"Really?" asked Bae, keeping the apprehension out of his voice. "I thought this came all too soon."

Pan snorted, and Felix cracked a sinister smile. That wasn't good.

"So, you've managed to stay calm?" Pan noted, scanning Bae up and down. Bae felt his skin crawl as Pan looked over him. It was like looking at a roasted bird, and deciding which part needed carved up first.

"That's good," Pan said. "Panicking would just make this messy."

"And since when have you not liked messy?" Bae shot back, refusing to let Pan get under his skin.

Pan's eyes glinted, clearly enjoying the banter.

"Let's just say that I'm willing to clean up when it comes to a woman," he said, letting Bae take in his meaning.

Bae knew exactly what he was saying. That Pan would do anything to find Jess, and this time hold onto her.

"Now enough of this chit-chat," said Pan, crouching down to Bae's eye level. "Let's get down to business. This can either be very painless, or very painful, Baelfire. That's up to you. And all you have to do is answer one simple question."

Bae already knew what it was, but that did nothing to stop the knot of fear when Pan, his voice dangerously low.

"Where is Vin?"

Bae felt both a thrill of hope, and another feeling of fear. If Pan was asking where Jess was, then he didn't have her. She had gotten away. But, if Pan was trying to force the answer out of him, then he was getting more and more desperate. And, if Pan was getting more desperate, he was becoming more dangerous. And Bae really didn't want to be at the receiving end of this dangerous side.

"What happened?" he asked. "Did you lose her? I thought you knew this island like the back of your hand."

"Oh, I do," Pan said, almost reassuringly. "But I think we both know how powerful Vin is. Let's just say that she has found a way to shield herself from me, and that I can't find her, even when using magic."

That was it. That was why after all those years, Pan hadn't gone after either of them. For once, Bae felt was glad that Jess had magic.

"So, that's why I need your help," continued Pan, cheerfully, as if it were all a game. "I need you to tell me where Vin is."

Bae smirked, and shrugged as well as he could with his hands tied above his head.

"Sorry," he said. "Can't help you."

Pan looked at him, and let out a sigh, as if disappointed. But, Bae knew better. He had known Pan for too long to know that Pan never was disappointed. If anything, he was happy Bae was putting up a fight, just for the challenge of it. It wasn't good for Bae, but it was better than telling Pan where Jess was.

"Well, I was afraid you'd say that," Pan said, his voice mockingly said. "Felix…"

He didn't have to say another word. Felix stepped forward, almost eagerly, and punched Bae in the stomach. Hard.

If not for the ropes that tied his arms above, Bae would have collapsed then and their. He gasped, all the air knocked out of his lungs.

"Really, Baelfire," said Pan, condescendingly. "You know me. You know that I always get what I want. You know I'm going to get her back eventually, why put yourself through all the pain?"

Because it kept her safe. It bought her time.

Time for what, Bae didn't know. But it was time that Jess was free, and safe from Pan.

"All you have to do," said Pan, calmly and graciously. "Is just tell me where she is. After that, this all ends. You're free to go."

But Jess wouldn't be. Pan would just take her, and turn her back into his toy. He would use the younger Lost Boys against her, and try to convince her to become one of his. Bae wasn't going to let that happen. Not to Jess. Not to his sister. He had already lost Wendy to Pan, and to free her, he ended up on Neverland. He wasn't going to let that happen to his other sister.

He looked up at Pan, and didn't say anything. He just let his defiant glare do the talking. Pan looked back at him, and while his expression was considerate, his eyes were angry and annoyed.

_Good,_ thought Bae. _The more annoyed he gets, the more likely he'll make a mistake._

"Fine, then," said Pan, with another sigh. "Seems we have no choice. I expected a lot more from you, Baelfire. I thought self-preservation was something that ran through the family. I mean, look at your father."

Bae would have curled his hands to fists if they weren't tied so tightly. He had to keep his face clean of emotion, so Pan couldn't see how the last jab hurt him so much. He wasn't like his father. He wouldn't sacrifice his own son to keep his power. He wouldn't sacrifice Jess either, just to get out of this unharmed.

Felix drew a knife from his belt, and held it up to Bae. Bae caught a glimpse in the Lost Boy's eyes, and felt another wave of fear.

"Why have Felix do it?" he asked, looking over the burly Lost Boy to Pan. "Why not do it yourself?"

Pan shrugged.

"He asked for it," he replied casually. "He told me himself that he wanted to be the one to hurt you."

Bae racked his brain for something he had done to Felix specifically, but nothing came to mind. Pan caught Bae's confused look, and read it perfectly.

"Oh, it's not you, Baelfire," he explained. "Didn't Vin ever tell you? The night that she drank the water, and became a permanent resident of Neverland, she and the pirate captain met Rufio. You remember him, don't you? Felix's brother?"

Yes, Bae remembered. Jess had also told him what had happened that night. How Rufio had attacked her and Hook, and how Hook had stabbed Rufio with the poison laced sword to save them. And how at the boy's final moments, he had told Jess his real name: Sebastian.

"Well, the pirate captain and Vin killed him," continued Pan. "With his own sword. They left him for dead, and fled."

Lies. It was all lies. Bae knew Jess, and she had always respected the memory of Sebastian for showing his true self to her in his final moments. For fighting Pan in his last moments. That respect was too great to be false.

"So, Felix here, doesn't see this as a grudge against you," Pan said, a malicious glint in his eyes.

"I want Vin to know what it's like to see a brother hurt," Felix hissed. "To feel that fear, and realize you may never see him again."

With that, Felix brought his knife down next to Bae's arm, and slowly the blade cut into Bae's flesh.

Bae had to bite his tongue to hold back any noise of pain. He had been through worse. He had felt worse. He could manage this.

He wouldn't tell them where Jess was. He would not let them near her. But he knew, deep down, what they wanted was for him to give into the torture. To feel the pain they inflicted on him.

He wouldn't give Pan that satisfaction. No matter what Pan did, he would not let Pan have that satisfaction of hearing him scream.

It continued on. Sometimes Felix would punch him repeatedly, other times he would cut Bae with his knife, careful to avoid any veins and arteries. But that did not ease the pain.

And whenever Felix stepped back, admiring his handiwork, Pan would step forward, and promise an end to the pain if Bae just told him where Jess was.

Bae wouldn't do it. No matter how painful it was, he would not betray Jess. She would never betray him, so he wouldn't betray her. No matter what Pan promised.

Finally, after hours, Pan held up his hand.

"Alright, Felix," he said. "Bring us some water. I think our guest is thirsty."

He was right. Bae's throat was parched, but he couldn't let Pan know that. His mouth had the metallic taste of blood, from where he had bit into his cheek, but that was alright. He had held his resolve, and had not screamed throughout the entire torture.

He had made it. So far.

Once Felix was out of earshot, Pan turned back to Bae, before leaning lazily against a tree trunk. He looked Bae up and down, as if trying to figure out what was going on in Bae's mind. Bae's face was bloody and bruised, so he wasn't quite sure what Pan was looking for.

After a moment of silence, so thick, it could be cut with a knife, Pan finally spoke up.

"I can't help but wonder," he said. "What makes Vin so special? What about her makes you so loyal to her?"  
Bae grit his teeth, and tried to clear his mind. He knew what Pan was doing. It wouldn't be torture if Pan didn't get to try to get into his head.

"You can't possibly hoping that she'll fall in love with you," Pan mused. "I mean, she _is _trapped in a seventeen year old body. And, she obviously has very high standards, or else she would be with me right now."

Every implication about that seemed wrong. Jess was no more than a sister to Bae. Anything else would be too wrong. Too strange. It wasn't that she was too old or too prideful. They just cared for each other as siblings. They wouldn't have it any other way.

"I wonder," said Pan, his eyes flashing with new malice. "If this has anything to do with dear Tiger Lilly."

Bae felt his heart go cold.

No, this was wrong. He could not listen to Pan taunt him about this. Never this.

_Not Tiger._

"Yes," Pan said, stepping forward. "You were very close to our little indian friend, weren't you? She was the one who taught you to survive, right? The one who helped you learn how to live off the land on your own."

Yes. She had been. She had done it to repay him for trying to save her tribe. Before, the only reason he had ever stayed with Pan and the Lost Boys to survive, but Tiger had saved him from that. She had taught him how to make it on his own.

They had stayed in that cave for a while, looking after each other. Tiger wasn't like Jess, though. She had a blood lust that Jess didn't have, yet she also was a princess in her own right. But she never forgot what Pan did to her people. To her family.

Then, one night, she had brought her knife, and she found Pan, alone.  
Bae hadn't even realized something had happened, she would come and go so much. It wasn't until he saw Pan carrying Tiger's dagger at his side that he knew she was gone.

"Do you know," Pan went on. "That even when a shadow rips out another, it controls that new shadow. It can use it to help it with its work, or it can play with it when it's bored. Like a puppet."

Bae didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to know what Pan was going say. Not about Tiger, not about his friend.

"And from what I've seen," Pan said, his smirk growing. "I think that the little indian's shadow is my shadow's personal favorite."

Without thinking, Bae thrust himself at Pan, but his restraints held him back. He didn't care though. He wanted to attack Pan. He wanted to hurt him. To make him take back what he had said. To make him pay for everything he had ever done to him, to Tiger, and to Jess.

Pan grinned, satisfied at getting a reaction out of Bae.

"Well, I have something to tell you, Baelfire," he said, his voice slicing into Bae deeper than Felix's knife ever could. "No matter how much you hope, no matter how much you think you can help Vin, you will never be able to redeem yourself for what happened to Tiger Lilly. Vin may take away some of the guilt, but she won't take away all of it. Vin will never be what you need her to be."

Bae blinked, surprised at what Pan said. He didn't need Jess to be anything. He didn't want her to be anything. He wasn't like Pan, thinking he could use people as toys. And Pan knew that.

Maybe this was something different. Maybe...maybe Pan was accidentally revealing what he truly thought.

Armed with this last, desperate weapon, Bae looked Pan in the eye, and forced himself to smile.

"She won't do it for you either," he replied, his voice hoarse from lack of water.

Pan gave him a look of confusion.

Yes, Bae had gotten something. It may only hurt him, and it may even cost him his life. If it saved Jess, he was willing to do it. To do something against Pan for Tiger, he was ready to do it.

"I saw the way you looked at her, Pan," Bae said. "When you had her under your power with your music. You liked it. You enjoyed being able to control her, even if it was just through your pipes. You may have plans for her, but I think the real reason you want her back so badly is because you want to have that power over her again. You want to control her again. Not just through your pipes, but through everything."

Pan narrowed his eyes, as if he was realizing what Bae was doing. Bae inhaled, and got ready for more.

"The problem is," he continued. "To do that, you need her to do one simple thing. And that's the thing she never will do."

Pan stepped forward, and grabbed a fistful of Bae's hair, forcing him to look up.

"And what is that?" he hissed.

Despite the pain from the torture, despite the agony of Pan's taunts about Tiger, Bae couldn't suppress a feeling of victory.

"She has to love you," he whispered.

Pan looked surprised, and released Bae, staring at him. Bae looked back up and met Pan's eyes.

"The only way you will ever control her is if she loves you," he said. "And not just an infatuation. She has to look you in the eye, know exactly what you are, and what you've done to her and those she loves. Then, she has to forgive you with all her heart, and love you, despite all the pain and misery you've put her through.

"And the truth is: she never will do that. You have pushed her too far. You took her away from her sister, who she loved more than life itself. You took Hook away from her, who was practically a father to her. You trapped her in hell, and you've played with her mind like it's your yard. You have done too much to her to earn Jess's forgiveness. You have put her through too much for her to look past that, and love you."

Pan's expression went from realization to horror to anger in two seconds flat. Bae knew he was already in danger, but he refused to draw the line there. What he had just said, he said for Jess. This next part was for the indians. And Tiger.

"You want to know something else?" he asked. "Jess is a fighter. No matter what, she always will fight for someone. She fought for her little sister. She fought for Hook. She is fighting for me. And you've seen it. Even when she was under the pipe's spell, she was fighting you. Do you know why? Because that's what keeps her going. As long as she has someone to fight for, she can push herself a little further, a little harder.

"That's why she'll never be Vin, and that's why you'll never control her. She is only going to become Vin when she loses herself to despair, and has nothing left to fight for. But, the funny thing is, no matter what you do to her, no matter what you put her through, Jess will always have something to fight for. That's why you'll never have her Pan. That's why you will fail."

He could have gone on, but Pan cut him off with a hard slap across the face. Bae caught the expression in Pan's eyes. It wasn't just anger and horror. It was hatred. Cold, undeniable hatred.

Bae felt the fear, but for some reason, he felt satisfied. He had told Pan. He had gotten under Pan's skin, as Pan had done so many times to him.

_That was for Jess. For the Indians, and for Tiger._

Pan looked like he wanted to kill Bae then and there, and he probably would have if Felix hadn't come back, now holding a bucket of water. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Pan staring at Bae with undiluted hatred, and Bae, despite being covered in blood, wearing a triumphant smirk.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Pan looked up at Felix, then back at Bae. He met Bae's eyes again, and stepped back, an evil glint in his eyes.

"Change of plan," he said smoothly. "I think this is all for naught. Whatever way Vin has enchanted Baelfire, I don't think he will give her up."

I'll do that when papa gives up his power, thought Bae, bitterly.

Felix's eyes were only confused.

"So, what are we going to do?" he asked. "If we can't find Vin through him…"

Pan shrugged, as if it didn't matter at all.

"We may not be able to find Vin," he said, calmly. "But that doesn't mean we can't send her a message. And that is exactly what Baelfire here is going to do."

Bae felt his heart sink. He wasn't going to do it. He knew whatever Pan wanted to tell Jess, it wouldn't be good, and it would hurt her somehow. He was not putting her in that position, even if he had to die first.

"Yeah?" he asked challengingly. "What's the message?"

Pan's expression could only be described as eager as he stepped forward to Bae. He reached out his hand, and Bae instinctively tried to back up, fear now coursing through him.

"That's the funny thing, Baelfire," said Pan, his arm almost touching Bae.

But instead of touching Bae, Pan reached in and grabbed something else. There was a horrible ripping sound, then blinding agony.

Bae closed his eyes, desperate to hold back the pain that ran throughout his body down to the very core. Pan tugged, and Bae felt another wave of worse than anything he had ever felt before, as Pan slowly ripped out his shadow.

Through all the pain, Bae could hear the four words that made his blood run cold.

"You _are _the message."

Pan pulled Bae's shadow out a little more, and Bae's resolve broke. Somehow, despite his throat being dry, pain coursing through his body, and the exhaustion weighing down on him, Bae's lips broke open, and he let out a scream of agony.

* * *

**A/N: **Now we know what Pan did...

Hey y'all!

I'm sorry, I've fallen a bit behind in writing, and it looks like it may stay that way for a couple more weeks. I think by November, I should be back on track though. But, as I said a couple weeks ago, I am still going to update once a week, that I can guarantee.

Also, if any of you saw Chapter 1 sometime during the past few days, you may have noticed that it was very different from the original Chapter 1. I am so sorry about that. I was making some grammatical corrections to that chapter, and somehow, the classroom scene that I had taken out of the story found it's way back onto fanfic. That was on me and my computer, and it wasn't supposed to happen. So, if any of you saw that, I am very sorry for the confusion.

Anyway, a special thanks to **Obscure Stranger, Drowned Island Goddess, . , **and **Tukie4 **for putting this story on alert, and to **Obscure Stranger, **and **HoneyGee08** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **thewritershavetheTARDIS, sarah0406, Dreamer-Girl96, narisadar, scorpiongirl92, SansaFort, meguhanu, Tukie4, **helloworld, the white angel, and Guest for reviewing. And, of course, a special thanks to my awesome betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**. Thank you so much for your support; y'all are absolutely fantastic!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Bae's point of view are especially appreciated; it was very tough writing from his perspective. **:)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I still don't own OUAT. Which is a real shame. Will Scarlet is kind of awesome!**

* * *

**Present**

"What did you do?" I whisper.

I look up into the sky, and I know somewhere Pan can hear me, and he is laughing.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

My voice echoes through the forest, but I receive no response. I can't help but wonder if that's Pan playing with me, or the Shadow blocking him.

_It doesn't matter. None of that matters. Bae...he isn't… he can't be…_

The Shadow flies over me, and reaches its hand over Bae's broken body. Instinctively, I swat my hand at it, and pull Bae close to me.

"Don't touch him!" I shout, glaring angrily at it.

"I need to see if he's alive," replied the Shadow. "There may be a chance to save him."

I'm still not sure if I trust this thing or not. Heck, I probably shouldn't. But Bae could be dying. If there is any chance to save him, I need to take it.

Slowly, I loosen my hold on him, and I allow the Shadow to come closer. It reaches out, and gently touches Bae's forehead. It suddenly pulls back, as if startled.

"What is it?" I ask, a new fear creeping into my voice. "What's wrong?"

The Shadow looks back down at Bae.

"Pan ripped his shadow out," it says.

I feel my heart plunge. Bae told me of this. Of what Pan did when he ripped out shadows. How the person died an excruciating death within seconds.

_No. No, not Bae. Please, not Bae._

"He didn't rip it out completely," the Shadow continues, and for a second I feel a fleeting sense of hope. "But...he almost ripped it out fully. And he did it several times. He's alive, but only just."

_Oh my god…_

I look down at Bae, who is barely alive. He didn't have his Shadow ripped out, he had worse. To have your shadow ripped from you so many times, to endure so much pain. It will be a miracle if he makes it through this.

"Heal him," I whisper.

The Shadow turns to me, and I can feel that it is startled by my question.

"You heard me," I murmur, my voice dangerously low. "Heal. Him. Now."

The Shadow again refuses to meet my gaze.

_I can't believe this!_ Bae, my only true friend in Neverland for so long, is going to die unless this thing does something, and it won't. I don't know for what reasons, but I really don't care.

"Don't you dare say no!" I shout, anger pouring out of my voice. "You could have saved him, or you could have let me save him, but instead, you left him die. He didn't break like you thought he would, and he's went through unthinkable pain for it. Do not turn your back on him! You save him now; you owe him that much!"

The Shadow pauses, then with a sigh, reaches out and touches Bae's forehead. A small green glow surrounds Bae, and I can feel the wild power of Neverland come from the Shadow. I think it's using the power of Neverland to heal Bae. That makes sense, if it is the voice of Neverland itself.

The glow fades, and for a moment, nothing happens. My fear increases.

_Did it not work? Were we too late? _

Then, I hear Bae take a small, almost weak, breath. I feel relief pour through me, as he takes another breath. His body is now hot with fever, and he is still bleeding all over, but none of his wounds seem to be too deep, or too damaging.

It may take some time, but I think my brother will be okay. I think, somehow, he's going to make it. I let out the breath I was holding, and gently cradle Bae's broken body close to me. He will be alright. He is strong, stronger than anyone I've ever known, except Hook, perhaps.

But, unless I lower his fever, and tend to his wounds, the Shadow's efforts are going to be for nothing. Bae will have suffered for nothing.

I try to stand while carrying him, but Bae is a dead weight in my arms. He is too weak to walk, even with me supporting him. There's no way I can get him to the cave on my own.

I look back up at the Shadow.

"I can't carry him," I whisper. "Can you-"

"I'm the guardian of Neverland, not a pack-horse." snaps the Shadow. "It is my task to protect you, not the boy. If you think I will lower myself to such standards-"

_Alright, that's it!_

I have had it with this thing and it's so-called duty to look after me. I frankly don't care if it is supposed to protect me. Bae is my friend, and he is dying right now. I'm not letting him die because some disembodied shadow has too much pride.

"Fine, then!" I snap, "If that's how you want to play, fine. I'll just stay here with him until Pan finds me. In fact, let him come. I'll even set off fireworks and hang up a bright sign that says 'Come and get me' in nice, big, neon letters."

The Shadow glares down at me, but I just glare back. I'm not letting Bae die, not when he was tortured for me. Not when he refused to betray me.

"I'll drag you back to Dark Hollow myself," it says, it's voice dangerously low.

"Then do it," I reply, refusing to back down. "You want to take me back, do it! Because, I'll just be hanging onto him the entire time."

For a moment, the Shadow and I just glare at each other, neither one wanting to be the first to look away. I try to make it look like I don't care what the Shadow does, but inside, I'm truly scared it will drag me back, and leave Bae behind. I only hope that it won't call my bluff.

"Fine!"

The Shadow reaches down, and scoops up Bae in its arms. I feel a rush of relief, but fight to not let it show. Still, the Shadow mutters under its breath, and I catch the words "stubborn" and "ungrateful."

I force back a smirk at the words.

"I will take him back to his cave," the Shadow says. "I don't think he would like waking up in Dark Hollow. Follow me, and stay close."

Oh, sure, he is so considerate about Bae waking up in that place, but not me.

"Thank you," I whisper, getting up, and following the Shadow as it flies.

We go in silence, the Shadow not bringing up any conversation, and me…

Well, I'm worried about Bae. I need to get him back to the cave so I can take care of him fast.

But, what Pan did to him? He not only removed his shadow once, but several times. Bae endured it. _For me. He suffered and was tortured. For me_.

The feeling inside me...I'm not sure what it is, but I can't help but feel sick.

_Is this how Abby feels?_ I wonder. _Is this what it is like, when you see someone you love suffer to save you? _

We arrive at the cave, and the Shadow gently places Bae in his small alcove bed.

"You will have to treat him," it says. "I need to go ensure that Pan's magic cannot find you or the boy again."

I nod, as I move to Bae's side, checking his forehead. He's burning with fever.

As the Shadow moves, I turn to look at it.

"Thank you," I say. "For...for everything."

For protecting us for all these years. For keeping me safe. For saving Bae, even when it didn't want to. It cocks its head, as if it has not seen anything quite like me, then nods.

"You're... welcome," it says slowly, as if the words are unfamiliar.

With that, it flies out of the cave.

I immediately turn my attention to Bae.

The cuts aren't too deep, but they haven't scabbed yet. He'll probably need stitches.

My stomach curls at the thought. I haven't been able to skin and clean the animals we ate. How am I supposed to try to put him back together, when I can't even do stitches? How am I supposed to try to heal him if I don't know what the heck I'm doing?

_I didn't know what I was doing when I was brought here. But, I endured for Abby, and I fought. I can do the same for Bae. _

I take a deep breath, and imagine the needle. I got stitches once when I was little, and I think I remember how it's done.

"Bae," I murmur. "I want you to know, I'm so sorry if this hurts, but it may be the only way to heal your cuts."

I clean the wounds, and slowly start to suture the wounds. The process is slow, and at times I want to get sick, but Bae doesn't show any signs of pain. He doesn't even move. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

It feels like hours, I finally stitch up the last cut, and drop the needle. My hands are so shaky, I'm not even sure how I'm able to clean them.

I want to stop then and there, but I can't. Bae still needs more help.

I check his fever, and find there's no change. That is the next thing, I guess, bringing the fever down.

For a few minutes, I stand back, trying to figure out what to do. I don't dare try to imagine medicine for bringing down a fever, in case they should go wrong and end up making it worse. I will need to get some fluids in him, and probably some food too.

But, first of all, I should probably get him cooler.

I take the blankets from his bed, and imagine a small bucket of cold water and a rag. I dampen the rag, and press it against Bae's forehead. This finally gets a reaction out of Bae, who shivers as the cold rag meets his skin, and he lets out a very faint moan.

"I know," I whisper, soothingly. "I know, you're cold. But I need to bring the fever down."

I try feeding him, but the only thing Bae accepts is water. Even though he seems unconscious, he drinks the water that I hold up to his lips. I can probably try to feed him later, but at least he's got some fluids in him.

I want to stop and rest, when I hear it. It's soft, but I can hear it.

Shouts, footsteps. They can only belong to the Lost Boys.

I feel panic settle it, as I move over to Bae, ready to defend him if they try to enter the cave. They already hurt him so much, I won't let them take him. I won't let them hurt him again.

_They can't have him. I won't let them take him. _

However, the shouts eventually stop, and move off. I guess the Shadow is protecting me and Bae again.

Still, I don't move from my spot. I just wait, checking on Bae's fever and wounds. I don't even realize that I'm falling asleep until I'm practically crawling.

_Well, I can't take care of him if I'm tired. _

I lay down, resolved to get a few hours of rest. I drift off almost too easily.

"No!"

I'm torn from sleep what feels like seconds later at the shout. My eyes fly open, and I turn to see Bae laying down, his eyes wide open. His arm is out stretched, fear etched across his features.

"Bae?" I ask, running over to him. "Bae, what is it?"

He doesn't even turn to me.

"Papa, no!"

I stop, staring. His eyes...they are open, but they don't seem to recognize what is around him. It's as if he's dreaming with his eyes open.

_The fever,_ I realize. _It's bringing on hallucinations. He thinks he's with his father again._

"You coward!" Bae shouts, his voice a mixture of anger and fear. "You promised. Don't break it now!"

I check his fever, and my stomach plunges. It's gotten worse.

"PAPA!"

Without thinking, I hold him, gently trying to calm him down.

"It's okay, Bae," I whisper. "It's alright. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Bae shouts for his father for a few minutes before falling back, panting and whimpering.

"It's okay," I repeat, dabbing the damp cloth over his face. "It's all a dream, Bae. You are alright."

The days that follow are possibly the worst I've had to go through.

I have to all but stuff food down Bae's throat, so that he'll have solids in him. His fever acts like a yo-yo, sometimes lowering to the point that he can quietly rest, sometimes spiking so much I could burn myself by touching him.

He drifts in and out of consciousness, and when he is conscious, he's delirious. His fever dreams are often about his father. Or Wendy and the Darlings. Sometimes he has enough sense to realize he's in his cave, but his words are slurred and unconnected, as if he's drunk. When he's like this, I can't make sense of anything he's saying. Sometimes I catch the words "Jess," "message," or "Pan," but that is it.

I'm beside myself with worry, trying everything I can to bring his fever down, and keep his wounds clean.

If I wasn't so scared of what would happen if I left, I would go out, find Pan, and kill him now for what he has done to Bae.

My fear reaches its height when I hear Bae cry out loudly. I know it is another fever dream, so I go over to hold him and help, like I do every time.

"I won't do it," he cries. "I won't do it to her. You can't make me, Pan!"

_Pan? Why is he dreaming about...oh, no…_

"I'm not a message!" he shouts. "I'm not a message. I won't hurt her like that. I'm not your message, Pan! I'm not!"

My heart plummets as I realize what he is saying.

_He is a message. He is Pan's message to me_.

That is why he was tortured so much. Not because he wouldn't give me up, but because Pan wanted to send me a message, because he couldn't find me.

And the message is cold and clear: _look what I did to the person you care about the most. Think of what I could do to him if you don't come to me. _

Bae wasn't tortured because he refused to betray me. He was tortured for me. He was tortured because Pan knew in doing so, he hurt me. He wanted to hurt me so much, he used Bae to do it. He hurt Bae. For me. Just as he kidnapped Abby. _For me._

"Oh, Bae," I whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Bae did nothing but take care of me when I needed him. He helped me for so long, and did nothing against Pan except free me when I was trapped under his spell. Bae never did anything except to help others. And Pan hurt him. Because he wanted to get to me.

Suddenly, Bae falls back, but instead of panting, or moaning, like he usually does, he doesn't move at all. I can't even hear him breathe.

Panic rushes through me, as I feel him, his fever higher than it has been before.

"Bae?" I mutter, trying to get a response. "Bae?"

I feel for a pulse. Or for a breath. Or anything.  
I just get dead silence.

"Bae!" I shout. "Don't you dare leave me! Don't you dare die on me. BAE!"

Instinctively, I grab him by his shoulders, and hold him to me, letting my power take over. I imagine his cuts whole, his bruises healed, his fever gone. I imagine my brother healed, and whole again. I let the power flow from me and into Bae, calling him back to me.

_Bring him back to me. I lost Abby, I lost Hook. I can't lose Bae. _

I feel something stir against me, and I open my eyes.

I see Bae, his eyes open, looking at me, tired and confused. And alive. So, very much alive.

"Jess?" he whispers.

I smile, and I'm suddenly aware of the tears that had fallen down while I was holding him. I wipe them away, unsure if they are tears of relief or desperation.

"Hey, Bae," I murmur, checking his fever. It's gone. Not just lower, it's gone completely. He's safe. It worked.

"You're here? How…" he mutters. I guess he hasn't realized that I found him and the Shadow brought him back.

"Where else would I be?" I ask, as I gently lay him back down.

"I'm tired," he says, as I finally bring his blankets over to him.

"I know," I say, soothingly. "Get some rest. You've been pretty sick for the past few days."

Bae doesn't question me, and lays back down, closing his eyes.

As soon as he's asleep, I sit back, and allow my tears to fall down. I was able to save him. But I almost lost him. I almost lost him. By sheer luck, I was able to save him.

He shouldn't have had gotten so close, though. He shouldn't have been tortured to begin with. He was tortured so that I would get hurt. He was tortured for me. I almost lost him, because Pan wanted to get to me.

_I can't let him hurt him again. I won't let Pan hurt my brother again. But, what can I do? _

I can't leave Neverland, so we can't get out. I could suggest moving to Dark Hollow, but I don't think Bae would like it. Besides, I think he's a little too weak. And if he spends his entire life in hiding, he's going to eventually feel like a caged animal.

_I know what it feels like. I've been in a cage. I know what it's like to be trapped. I practically live in a cage. _

What am I supposed to do then? How am I supposed to protect him? What am I supposed to do!

_Give in. _

I stop, feeling horror and revulsion at the thought.

No. Just, no. That is not an option, and will _never_ be an option.

"I won't give into Pan," I say to no one in particular. "I won't go back to him, and let him play around with me like I'm his toy, and my mind is his playground. I won't let him have control over me again."  
I let him have it once with the music, and I almost lost myself. I won't do it. I won't go back to the Lost Boys, who think I need to stay and be their sister. Not back to the cage, and the music. To Pan insisting that I need to give into him, and become part of his "family."

"I won't become Vin," I mutter. "I ran away from that name that night. I abandoned the younger boys for it. I almost killed myself to escape it. I will _not_ give in, and become Vin."

_Then don't, _a voice in the back of my mind says. _Don't become Vin. There's no way you can truly become one of Pan's anyway. Not when you know what he is, and all that he has done to you. _

It's true. I will never be able to forgive Pan, or ever trust him for what he's done to me. And because I know what he is underneath the look of a boy: a man who abandoned his son. I will never be able to forgive him for that. And for hurting me. And Bae. And Abby.

I wipe my eyes, trying to get a hold of myself.

I will never truly give into him, because I will never let him control me. I won't let my self-control be handed over to someone who abandoned their only kid to be a kid themselves. No matter how much Pan tries, I will never give in. _And, with that being said, I'll never be Vin. _

_I will always be Jess. No matter what happens, I will always be Jess. _

But that doesn't save Bae. I need to make sure I can protect him. I need to make sure Pan doesn't hurt him again. But, I'll never be his. No matter what he says, I will never be Vin.

I stand, and gently brush Bae's hair back. I kiss his temple, and take one last look at his face, peaceful at last.  
"I swear, Bae," I murmur. "He won't hurt you again."

With that, I stand, and leave the cave.

"I'm still going to be Jess," I tell myself. "No matter what Pan says, I will always be Jess. As long as I fight for Bae, as long as I'm Jess to Bae, I will never truly be Pan's."

_I will never be Vin. _

I let my sixth sense take over, and I search out the dark, twisted feeling of Pan. Once I feel it, I move to take a step forward. But I can't.

_Oh, God, I can't do this. I can't do this! _

I need to. For Bae, I need to do it. No matter what happens, I will always be Jess. As long as I'm Jess in Bae's eyes, Pan will never control me.

I force myself to walk forward. I climb a tree, and with a deep breath, I take my zip-lines through the trees, closer and closer to Pan and the Lost Boy's camp. For a moment, I close my eyes, savoring the feeling of flying. I wish I could have shared the feeling with Bae, but I guess, after tonight, it will be too late.

_I'm so sorry, Bae. I need to do this. I won't let Pan hurt you again. _

I stop at the last line closest to Pan and his camp. The twisted feeling is stronger, and I force myself to climb down. About twenty feet away, I can make out the firelight, and figures of the Lost Boys, playing their games. Out of habit, I tread the ground silently, as if I don't want them to hear me.

There's still time to get out. Still time to turn around.

_No. I won't. I won't let Pan hurt Bae. If I have to suffer for it, so be it. Bae certainly suffered more than he had to because of me. _

I make myself walk closer to the camp, and I feel my hands shaking. Every part of me is screaming that I stop. That this is a deal with the devil. That if I go down this path, there will be no turning back. But I keep walking. I force myself to breath, and I keep walking.

I know what Pan is. And I will never trust him. He knows my secret, and I know his. That makes us even. Actually, puts me ahead, because he doesn't know that I know his secret.

_Point to Jess. _

_Yeah, I always be Jess. No matter what happens, I will always be Jess._

I walk on, and then pause at the edge. I take a deep breath, and keep going. I go into the camp. The boys are playing games, but I can't tell what. Then again, that's how it was when I first came here. My only focus is on the leader. I see him, sitting next to the fire, looking lost in thought. Just as I remember, even after all this time.

Green, smirking, looking so smug that I want to slap him across the face.

I feel the other Lost Boys stop, and stare at me, as I make my way to him. He looks up, and his expression is one of pure astonishment. I guess he wasn't expecting me. Well, it seems that I can still surprise him.

_I know what he is, underneath. I know what he did to become the person he is. If he can hide who he is underneath, so can I. _

Pan stands up as I approach him. Felix steps over to him, glaring at me, hand on his club, as if to show that he will hurt me if I attack Pan. Pan, however seeing I'm unarmed, holds Felix back.

"What do you want?" Pan asks, looking me up and down.

_I can't do this. I can't…._

I look Pan in the eye, and I suddenly feel sick. My throat is suddenly dry, and I can't speak. The words seem to get caught in my throat.

_I can't...I…_

For Bae. Do it for Bae.

"Vin," I whisper, managing to force out the words. "It's not a bad name."

I feel numb as soon as the words leave me. Pan's expression suddenly turns into a triumphant grin. He looks me in the eye, as if trying to find if I'm lying.

_I'm not. I will act like it. I will play the part, only to keep my real brother safe. _

Seeing I'm telling the truth, Pan grabs my wrist, and holds it up for all the other boys to see. Just like he did the first time he brought me here.

"My brothers," he says, grinning from ear to ear. "Our sister has returned. Let's welcome back our Lost Girl, Vin!"

All the boys, except for Felix, break out into shouts of joy. Even Pan is cheering with them. For once, I don't try to pull out of his grip. I just go with it. I need to pretend now. I need to make him think I'm Vin.

_I'm still Jess. No matter what Pan says, I'm still Jess underneath. _

_Right?_

**End of Part Two**

* * *

**A/N:** And the first step has been taken, so that Bae could live. **  
**

Uhh...hehe, hey guys!

First of all, I am really, really sorry about the long wait. As old as it may sound, I was really, really busy. But, luckily, I am done with it, and I am on break for a week now, so I am back on track. Thank you so much for your patience with me! It really means a lot.

Anyway, a special thanks to **Paranormalcy Love, Seerheart22882, HermioneandMarcus, XAngel-from-the-SnowX, dianaoctopus, **and ** .5667 **for putting this fic on alert, and to **Keeperofhounds, Seerheart22882, HermioneandMarcus, dianaoctopus, Amz5342, **and **tomarie215 **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **sarah0406, thewritershavetheTARDIS, scorpiongirl92, Dreamer-Girl96, meguhanu, The Wolf Who Writes, **twentyfour24, The white angel, and Anonymous for your reviews. Finally, as always, a special thanks to my betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**! Thank you so much for your patience and support guys!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Jess's decisions, and speculations on Bae's reactions are especially appreciated.


	31. Chapter 31

It's funny.

I thought after agreeing to be Vin, I would be numb with shock, like I was when Pan made me drink the water. Or, at least, throw myself into pretending to be the Lost Girl Pan wants me to be.

I didn't think I would be calmly sitting by the fire, while the boys danced around, apparently celebrating my "return." I don't think they would be dancing if Pan hadn't pulled out his pipes and started to play them.

Luckily, though, I can't hear the music. Why should I?

I know what I'm doing. I know that I need to pretend to keep Bae safe. I know that I'm still Jess underneath the act. I have no reason to feel lost, or unloved.

And, even if I did, I wouldn't admit it to myself. I did that once, and Pan controlled me. I won't make the same mistake again. No matter how much I pretend, I'm not letting Pan control me ever again.

Which may be the reason Pan is playing his pipes. To test me. To see if I really am lost, and if he can control me again.

The annoyed glance he gave me tells me that was exactly what he was hoping for. I just gave him a small smirk, before turning to look at the boys dancing around me.

Once, I thought it was pathetic that they would dance to Pan's pipes, because they were seemingly silent. But now, I pity them. After I lost myself, I was able to pick myself up, even just so Pan wouldn't be able to control me.

But these boys, they can't pick themselves up. Pan won't let them, because he has to control them, just as he has to control me. I had Bae and Hook to help me when I was lost. These boys don't have anyone. They only have Pan, and he's only going to make it worse for them. All because he wants them to be his devoted little slaves.

It's cruel. There's really no other word for it; just cruel.

And I want to help them. I want to help them so badly. I know what it's like to feel lost and alone. I felt it when I heard the music, when Pan forced me to drink the water, and I almost killed myself for it. But I got by. I let Bae help me, I built the mindbox to remind myself who I really was. These boys don't have that, and I want to help them get by as I did.

I can't, though. That is something I would do. Something Jess would do. Vin would leave the boys as they were. As long as I'm pretending to be Vin, I can't help them. If I do, I expose myself, and Bae is put in danger again.

I'm distracted when someone sits next to me, not looking at me. For a second, I think it's Pan, but my sixth sense doesn't tell me anything. Surprised, I look up to see Felix, glaring at the fire. The hand on the club isn't exactly comforting.

I try to look back at the fire, trying to pretend that Felix isn't making me uncomfortable. Trying being the key word.

He doesn't say anything, but glares. And glares, and glares, and glares.

_Alright, enough of this. _

"Is there something you want to tell me, Felix?" I ask. "Or are you having a staring contest with the fire?"  
If it were Bae beside me, he would probably laugh, then try to start bantering with me.

_But, it's not Bae. That's the point. I have to pretend that I'm their sister to keep the person I _really _care about, safe. _

Felix breaks his staring at the flames to scowl at me.

"I want to let you know," he says. "I don't care if Pan says that you are our sister. You're no sister of mine."

_Comforting, especially considering that none of the Lost Boys will ever be my brothers. Bae is my brother; just as Abby is my sister. _

"You killed Rufio," Felix says, apparently not done. "With his own sword. Then, you and the pirate left him for dead. For that, I will never forgive you, no matter what Pan says."

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the truth.

That wasn't what happened. We didn't kill Sebastian in cold blood, but self-defense. And we didn't leave him for dead. If we did, I wouldn't know the truth, and try to honor his memory for it.

Again, I can see how Pan twists the truth to make his boys lose themselves further. But this is sick. It's corrupting someone who I try to honor, and turning him into a weapon against me. And Felix, for that matter.

_Just, as he did with Bae and Abby._

I know that I need to hold back, and pretend to be Vin. But, something like this? Hurting Sebastian's memory? I need to speak up. I will not let his memory be twisted, especially by his own brother. The brother he wanted when he was dying.

"Have you ever thought that there might be more to your brother's death than what Pan has told you?" I ask, keeping my voice level.

I can't act over emotional, or this may give away the truth behind my act. But, if I act like it doesn't matter, then he will think I'm disrespecting his brother.

Felix looks me straight in the eye.

"Never," he replies, flatly.

I feel my heart sink. I want so badly to tell him his brother died bravely, that I respect him for what he shared with me. But if I tell him it's because he wanted to die outside of Pan's clutches…

_He'll just accuse me of lying._

But I have to try. For Sebastian, I need to help his brother.

"Felix, listen-" I start.  
"VIN!"

I'm cut off by the sudden appearance of a young boy, probably no older than eight or nine. At the same time, joy and guilt flood over me.

Toodles.

The little boy runs over to me, grinning from ear to ear. Without warning, he wraps me in a hug. I don't hesitate in hugging him back.

It may have been years since I've seen him, but those years have not taken away any of the guilt I felt for leaving the boys behind. If it had been any other way, if I had any other choice, I would have taken them with me in a heartbeat.

Even though I'm surrounded by my enemies, I am very glad to see Toodles again, and to see him happy.

"Hey, Toodles," I whisper, not letting go.

"Peter said you were back," Toodles says eagerly, looking up at me. "He said that you were staying this time."

I wish I wasn't. I wish I could stay with Bae, and feel safe again. But, as I look down at Toodles, I can see between the joy and the eagerness, something else: forgiveness. It almost makes it all worth it. Almost.

"Yeah," I murmur, smiling. "I'm staying Toodles."

_This feels wrong. _

I can pretend to be the Lost Girl Pan wants. I can do that without batting an eyelash if it's for Bae. But, pretending that I'm the sister that Toodles, or any of the other boys want me to be, pretending that I really do want to be here, and I really am Vin.

It only makes me feel guilty. Because, I _do _care about them. But, underneath, I'm still the girl who left them tied up in their tree, because she wanted to escape Pan more than she wanted to be with them.

"Of course she is."

This time, I don't have to look up to see Pan coming over to us. I can already sense him.

"Our Vin cares about her brothers too much to let us go," he says, sitting down on the other side of Toodles and I.

Felix, now seeing he can't threaten me without Pan noticing, stands and skulks off. My attention, however, is at what Pan says.

_She cares about her brothers...does he know? Is he really convinced, or does he know I'm only doing this for Bae? Is Bae still in danger, because he knows the truth?_

I force a smile, and start to tickle Toodles.

"And I'm not letting go again," I say playfully, as he laughs.

Pan smiles, and I meet his eyes. There is a glint in them that I can't make out. For all I know, it could be that he thinks he's won, or he knows the truth, and he thinks that gives him an advantage.

But, he doesn't. I know what he did to become young. I know he was willing to give up his own son to do it. And he doesn't know that I know his secret. So, I have the advantage.

_Then, why do I have to keep convincing myself?_

"Which leads me to wonder," Pan says, a small smirk on his face. "Why you left in the first place."

I feel my stomach plunge, and bite my lip. He wants me to answer, but I'm not sure how to do that without losing my cover.

_He's testing me,_ I realize. _He's seeing if I've really given in to him. _

"I still believed I was Jess," I reply smoothly, as if I'm not lying through my teeth. "I thought I was Abby's sister, not the Lost Boys'. But I've realized that I'm Vin, now."

Pan nods, as if satisfied by my answer, and I feel a twinge of relief.

_He believes me. For now, Bae is still safe._

But, if I know Pan, he wants to control me completely, even by his pipes. If he realizes I don't feel lost yet, then he knows that I haven't broken completely, at least. At most...he knows I'm only acting. This may be a test, but something tells me Pan isn't done testing me.

"Toodles," Pan says, turning to the boy. "Isn't it time you were in bed?"

_Seriously? Does he even set a bedtime for these boys? Why is he doing it now? _

"Can Vin sleep with me?" Toodles asks.

I hold back a groan, seeing what Pan did. This is another test. See if I'm willing to stay with the boys I abandoned. If I let go of the guilt, and if I'm not the person who left them when they called me Vin.

I can't go in there. I can't go back, and face those boys again. I won't go back in, and pretend to be their sister, when I really am just trying to keep Bae safe.

_And if I don't do it, then Pan realizes the truth, and Bae gets hurt again._

"Absolutely," I say, forcing a cheerful voice.

Toodles grins, and leaps up, not letting go of my hand as he leads me to the tree where he and the rest of the boys sleep. It's all I can do to not hesitate before going in. I can still feel Pan's eyes on me, as if looking for hesitation.

If he's looking for any hesitation, then I won't give him one. If that's what it takes to keep Bae safe, I won't show him anything.

I let Toodles pull me into the tree, and I have to stop and gain control of myself.

_Play the part. For Bae, play the part. _

"Vin?"

I look around at the familiar boys. Slightly, the Twins, Nibs. Kids who looked up to me, before I abandoned them. And, without a second thought, they have forgiven me, because they believe I've changed. They don't know I'm still Jess underneath.

And if I tell them the truth, then all of this is for naught.

"Hello, boys," I murmur, plastering on a smile. "It's been a long time."

They all are looking at me, as if unsure. I'm unsure, as well.

I left them when they did nothing to me but believe Pan's lies. Toodles may have forgiven me, and they may have also. But, they still may not trust me anymore. And, even though I am not the sister they want me to be, I still need to make amends. I still need to end the guilt.

"I know what I did to you last time," I say, the words escaping before I can tell myself it's a bad idea.

"I know that I hurt you, and that I abandoned you. But, I want you boys to know: I'm sorry. Not a day has gone by that I don't regret leaving you boys. If I could take it back, if I could change what happened that night, I would do so in a heartbeat. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

For a minute, the boys stare at me, as if trying to figure out if I'm lying. I realize that tears are threatening to spill out, and I hastily wipe them away. Then, just like Toodles, they all leap up and I'm almost pinned to the ground in an overwhelming group hug by over a dozen little boys.

I can tell they are shouting, and saying something, but I've gone numb again. Not from pain, though. From relief. They have forgiven me. Despite what happened, despite what I did to them, they have forgiven me. I finally got the chance to apologize, and they let me back in with open arms.

It doesn't occur to me until the boys let me up, and let me climb into Toodles hammock that it's all a lie. All of this. I'm not here for them, I'm here for Bae. I care about them, but not as Vin. I care for them as Jess.

_I need to get used to it, _ I tell myself. _You have to pretend to be Vin now. You can't run, not as long as Bae is in danger._

The words I said were mine, though. They were what I've wanted to say for so long, and they accepted them. Their forgiveness is genuine. But, only because they think I'm Vin.

Just as he did all those years ago, Toodles cuddles next to me, a peaceful smile on his face. The first time he did that, I was worried that by bonding with him, I was going to hold myself back from Abby. But, not now.

Now, I feel like a liar. None of it is real. They forgave me, but only because they think I've changed. I'm still lying to them. I'm still hurting them, even if they don't see it. I'm only here for Bae. But, when I made the decision to come here, I never thought I'd have to go through this.

Suddenly, I get a feeling of wild and powerful magic nearby. It's here, in the tree. The Shadow.

Something fills the air, and I feel Toodles fall beside me, unconscious. I immediately look around. The other boys have all fallen asleep as well.

A second later, the Shadow appears in front of me, glaring at me. I feel a twinge of guilt as I look at it. It did all that work to keep me safe, but I came here anyway.

"Why did you come here?" it asks, with a rattling breath.

"I had to," I reply, forcing the guilt back. "If I didn't, Pan would keep on using Bae to get to me. I couldn't let that happen."

"So, why not come to me?" the Shadow asks, sounding annoyed. "I could have kept you both safe. I have done it for the past-"

"And what if you slipped up again?" I ask, cutting it off.

_I really don't want to know how long I've been gone. How long I've been separated from Abby and Hook. _

"What if you messed up, and they got Bae again? Do you think Pan would have just let him go? Bae. Almost. Died."

"And if you stay here, you will surely die," replies the Shadow, angrily. "It is my task to protect you, yet you couldn't have placed yourself in a more dangerous position."

I pause at this. It's possible it could be exaggerating, but still…

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused. "I thought Pan wants to control me and my magic. Thanks to the vision you showed me, I know I will never trust him. How can I be in more danger?"

"Don't you know why Pan tested you on your powers of a Dreamer?" the Shadow replies, not answering my question. "Why he forced you to trade yourself for your sister when he could have easily just taken you once he saw your power? He has a plan for you. He always has had a plan for you, and if you go through with it, _you will die._"

I blink, trying to take it all in.

I always knew Pan was planning something. His way of kidnapping Abby told me that much. But I never thought that he was planning on killing me. Not when he seemed so focused on capturing and controlling me.

_That's why he wants to control me, _I realize. _Not just for his sick, twisted mind games, but so that when the time comes, he can kill me without any resistance from me. That's why he has worked to keep me alive. To kill me at the right moment. _

I look up at the Shadow, finally realizing why it has worked so hard to keep me away from Pan. It isn't because I would be in Pan's hands. It's because I'm in danger just by pretending to be Vin.

And, as I realized the night Pan made me drink the water, I don't want to die.

I can't stay here. I need to get out of here, with Bae, with the boys, before Pan can get to us.

"How can I get out?" I ask. "Pan already thinks he won. If you take me, Bae is put in danger again. If I stay, I'm in danger."

The Shadow pauses. I realize the way it does is familiar. It's the same hesitation I had before I went to Pan's camp only hours ago.

"There is a way," it says. "I never used it before, as it would place you out of my protection. But, at this point, it may be your only option."

"Tell me," I insist. "Even if I was alright with Pan killing me-which, I'm not-I don't think I'd be able to stand another day pretending to be Vin, and watch what Pan does to these boys."

The Shadow nods, and I can see that it is bracing itself for something.

"There is something you need to know," it says. "When Pan forced you to drink the water, he didn't-"

I gasp, as a twisted, dark feeling rushes over me. Pan. He's here.

"Ah, look at this."

I turn, and I see him, standing not too far away from us.

_How long has he been standing there? How much does he know?_

"What are you doing here?" I ask, sitting up, trying to put as much distance between myself and the monster that is planning on killing me.

"Making sure my Lost Girl is alright," he replies, cheerfully. "And after what I've just heard, I'm glad I did."

The Shadow floats in front of me, as if shielding me from Pan.

"Leave her be," it says, a new tone of menace growing in his voice. "She is under my protection."

Pan simply smirks, and walks up to us.

"And yet, she came to me of her own free will," he says, his eyes victorious. "I convinced her without finding her. I believe I owe you a 'I told you so.'"

I look from Pan to the Shadow. Pan knows this thing; I can tell by the way he's acting around it.

"What does he mean?" I ask, looking at the Shadow. "Did he know you were protecting me all along?"

_Does he know the truth that I'm still Jess?_

The Shadow ignores me, but Pan looks over me, and smirks.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he says, shrugging. "The grown-ups are talking."

That has a whole new meaning to me, now that I know what Pan really is.  
I open my mouth to say something, when Pan reaches out under the Shadow, quick as a snake. Before I can react, he touches my forehead with two fingers, and everything immediately fades to black.

* * *

Peter felt a surge of relief as he watched Vin fall back, unconscious.

He had stopped it. For the moment, he had stopped it. Vin did not know the truth. Or, at least, the whole truth.

If he had hesitated for even another minute, she would have learned the truth. She would have learned that she could have escaped and get back home. He was not going to let that happen. He could not let that happen.

He turned to the Shadow, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him. He had only used a harmless sleeping spell on her. He hadn't tried to hurt her in any way. That would ruin the whole point of her.

"I told you," he said, able to talk freely, now that Vin was no longer aware of what they were saying.

"I would get her to come to me of her own free will. No matter how long it took, she came to me."

The Shadow glared, but Peter felt no fear this time. He had found the loophole and used it.

So, he tortured his grandson to do it. That didn't matter. He couldn't regret it not, even if he wanted to. Vin had seen to that.

"You know the reason she came," the Shadow replied, angrily. "She only went to you because she wanted to protect the boy. I know that you see that."

"You mean that I see that she still hasn't given in to me?" Peter replied, calmly. "Of course I see it. I know she still believes herself to be Jess. It doesn't matter. She has come to me. She has promised to stay to protect Baelfire. How long do you think it will be before she starts to break? Before she starts to let Vin be who she really is, instead of Jess?"

"Do not underestimate her inner-strength," the Shadow said.

Do not underestimate _her. _Not it, not the power of Neverland, but _her _inner-strength. The Shadow could do absolutely nothing. It could only rely on the girl in front of them to not break.

"Don't you get it?" Peter asked. "She is _already_ breaking. She may think that she is saving Baelfire, but she is condemning herself. Vin is torn between the younger boys and the truth. Once she realizes how much she has to give up to save Baelfire, she'll be torn even more. Eventually, she'll just crumble in on herself, and become my Lost Girl."

He expected the Shadow to get angry. To yell, to throw him across the room, to try to take her.

Instead, it only scoffed.

"It is a good thing, then," it said. "That I told her something. Something that will ensure that she never trusts you."

Peter felt his heart sink. He needed her to trust him. That was the point. She needed to trust him.

But, it was alright. There were other ways. She didn't have to trust him, just herself.

"I don't need her to trust or believe in me," he replied, calmly. "Everything she does will be of her own free will. She'll just not know that I'm in control."

The Shadow flew at him and had him by the throat.

"If you hurt her in any way-" it snarled.

Peter couldn't help but laugh, despite the cold hands at his throat.

"You can't hurt me," he said. "Don't you get it? She came to _me._ She will give _me_ her heart freely. She is _mine_, now. Even if she is still fighting, she is my Lost Girl. You lost her the second you left Baelfire to be tortured. If you had been smarter, you would have let her be captured, and rescued Baelfire, before helping her."

The Shadow let go, as if in shock. It seemed to realize what it had done. It may have saved her, but Vin would never be able to trust it to keep her and Baelfire safe, because it refused to save Baelfire.

"I won't hurt her," Peter said, his voice mockingly reassuring. "I won't even put pressure on her. She'll keep on fighting, for a while. But, she will break, eventually. And when she does, it will be all of her free will. Your protection over her has ended."

The Shadow still seemed in shock. It had not seen what it had done. It's duty to look after Vin had made it blind to who she was. It was like Baelfire had told him: she always fought for someone. She would fight for Baelfire.

Peter would only have to wait. Wait for a little longer. He did not have to break her at all. He had given her someone else to fight for: the little ones. The conflict of fighting for Baelfire, and fighting for them was already eating her inside.

All he had to do was wait.

"I'd leave, if I were you," Peter said, grinning triumphantly. "You can't do anything here. Not anymore."

The Shadow waited, still looking like it wanted to kill Peter. Then, with a resolved sigh, it disappeared.

Peter grinned, then moved next to Vin. Gently moving her light brown hair from her face, he touched her forehead, and looked into her memories. During his travels of the Enchanted Forest, when he was gathering boys, he had come across a group of rock trolls that had the power to remove memories. He had tricked them into teaching him, just in case. Now, he was glad that he had.

It could be a messy process at times, especially if the memory was late. Luckily, the memory was so recent, it took almost no effort for Peter to recall it.

He replayed it, listening to everything the Shadow told her before he arrived. Then, slowly, he started to erase the parts needed. Like how the Shadow told her he was planning to kill her.

That wasn't true. He wasn't planning to kill her. He was just going to use her as a fail safe if he didn't find the Heart of the Truest Believer on time. Still, he needed to remove that mistrust the Shadow planted in her.

He also removed any hint the Shadow said about her getting out of Neverland. He simply replaced it with the Shadow trying to persuade her to leave with it, and her refusing for Baelfire.

Finally, he removed himself from the memory, and replaced it with her falling asleep beside Toodles as it flew away.

Satisfied that his work was done, he stood, and let her rest.

No matter what happened, no matter what played out now, he had won. He had got her to come to him. She was his now.

He didn't fail. He never did.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh, dear. Oh, dearie, dearie, dear!

Sorry Bae wasn't in this chapter, it got too long before I could include him. But, he will be in the next chapter, I promise!

A special thanks to **JustThatOneYoutubeNerd, SarcasticPeachoftheTardis, TheUndeadPlayer, WickedlyTwisted, Enchanted Elf, Lost Lady of Time, author-fan2012, ShesADork, **and **dontletthenarglesgetyou **for putting this story on alert, and to **JustThatOneYoutubeNerd, TheUndeadPlayer, Awkward-Rainbow-7, WickedlyTwisted, Lost Lady of Time, author-fan2012, ShesADork, **and **dontletthenarglesgetyou** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **sarah0406, The Wolf Who Writes, Live4dancing, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, asdfghjkl1292, meguhanu, scorpiongirl92, songwriter16, Ode to a Fangirl, Lost Lady of Time, **the white angel, twentyfour24, and Brianna for reviewing. Also, a special thanks to my awesome betas **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms!**

Also, I'd like to wish my friend and reviewer **meguhanu **a very happy belated birthday! Thank you so much for your encouragement and support for this story!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on what Pan is doing, anyone? **:)**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: If I owned OUAT, then I could claim credit for that awesome broom scene with The Apprentice. Unfortunately, I don't own OUAT, so I can't claim anything (sigh).**

* * *

I awake to the sound of someone shouting my name, and shaking me.

"Vin? Vin, come on, wake up!"

I stir, and crack open an eye to see Toodles shaking me, an eager look on his face.

_Wait...what is Toodles doing here?_

I jump, and sit up, looking around quickly, before I remember what happened last night. How I gave myself over to Pan, how I'm pretending to be a Lost Girl now, how the Shadow tried to take me back, and I refused.

The other boys are scrambling to get up, and I can hear muffled shouts and cheers outside the tree.

_Did I just think that Toodles was shouting my name when he called me Vin? _

"Come on, Vin," says Toodles, grabbing my hand before I can think about it. "We don't want to miss it!"

He pulls me from our hammock, and starts to drag me to the outside of the tree.

"Miss what?" I ask. "Toodles, what's going on?"

Toodles turns to look at me, an eager gleam in his eye.

"Someone is at camp," he says, sounding as if he's talking about Santa Claus visiting his house. "He snuck in last night, and tried to find Peter. He had a knife. We think he was trying to kill him, but Peter stopped him. I think Peter is going to kick his butt now!"

I try not to be too disturbed at the fact that a kid is talking about someone trying to kill Pan as if he were explaining the best day of his life. Then, I realize what he said.

Someone tried to sneak into camp. To attack Pan. There is only one person I know who would want to do that.

_Oh, no. Bae!_

I feel my heart plummet, and I forget everything. I forget about Toodles, about the other boys, about my supposed surrender to Pan. Everything. All I feel is adrenaline, as I pull myself out of Toodles' grasp, and run out the tree to find my brother. My _real_ brother.

_He was supposed to be safe. That was the whole point of this act, was so that he could be safe. _

I see the boys all clustered around a certain tree, and my sixth sense tells me that is where Pan is also. That is where Bae probably is too.

I start to run to the cluster, ready to fight, and free my brother, when someone grabs my arm, and pulls me back. Felix.

"Wait," he hisses. His voice sends shivers down my spine, and I can tell he's as eager to see this as Toodles was.

_He wants to see Bae get hurt again. Even torturing him wasn't enough. _

Without a second thought, I twist in his grip, and turn to punch him. He catches my fist before I can hit him, though, and a second later, uses his grip to twist my arm into a painful position. I let out a small whimper, and I can see him smirking at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Pan doesn't want to show you to him until the right moment," he whispers, when I don't stop struggling.

_Well, Pan can take his plan and shove it. Bae was supposed to be safe. _

Toodles runs up to us, his fists curled in anger.

"Hey, leave her alone!" he says, glaring angrily at Felix.

I can't help but feel slightly touched through all my pain, anger, and fear. But a sharp look from Felix is enough to get Toodles to back down, even if he is still glaring angrily at my holder.

Suddenly, I hear a loud moan through all the Lost Boys' shouts, and I immediately recognize the sound. I spent so long hearing it when Bae was recovering from his wounds. They're hurting him. Again.

Because he tried to attack Pan. And if I know Bae, it was because he was looking for me. He attacked Pan for me. And, again he is getting hurt, because of me.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this. I gave myself over to Pan so that he wouldn't be hurt again. He was supposed to be safe, not caught and tortured again!_

I start to struggle harder against Felix's hold on me, and I when that doesn't work, I open my mouth.

"Bae!" I scream, trying to let him know that I'm here, and that I'm trying to get to him. "Bae, I'm-"

I'm cut off when Felix puts his free hand over my mouth.

"Pan ordered you to wait," he says, sounding annoyed. "You can see him when Pan says its alright."

Yes, I can see it now. Pan taunting Bae about his newest recruit, and turning to the crowd, shouting for Vin to come over to him. Then, Felix releasing me, as I rush over, making it look like I'm answering his call. Making it look like I've really given in.

_No, I won't do it. I gave up my freedom for Bae, but I won't hurt him like this. Not when I can stop it. _

I twist my mouth, and bite down on Felix's hand. He pulls it away with a small groan, and I turn to him, looking him in the eye.

I know what I have to do, and I hope his brother will forgive me for it. I think, since he knew the importance of being there for your sibling, he'll understand why I need to do this.

"Sebastian," I hiss, not looking away from Felix.

He blinks, then looks at me in confusion.

"What?" he asks, sounding like I've gone crazy.

"Your brother's real name," I reply. "Not Rufio, but Sebastian."

Realization creeps into Felix's eyes, and I can feel his grip loosen as he takes it in.

"How-" he starts, but I twist out of his grip, and run towards the crowd of boys before he can say or do anything else. I'll have to explain later. Right now, I need to get to Bae.

I run into the crowd, pushing and shoving everyone out of my way, not caring who notices me. I break through the crowd and pause at the scene before me. Bae is on the ground, with a black eye and bleeding lip, while Pan is standing over him, looking amused. The other Lost Boys tightly close the area around them, preventing Bae from escaping.

_Bae. My brother. _

_I did this to save him. And he's only getting hurt anyway. _

Pan doesn't notice me, and aims a kick at Bae. Bae manages to shield his face in time, but he still receives the hard blow on his arms. Seeing this throws me back to reality, and I surge forward.

"Stop it!" I shout, as I see Pan raising his foot again. "Stop it, now!"

Pan pauses at seeing me, and I take the time to crouch down to Bae's level, purposefully putting myself between Pan and Bae. Pan gives me an annoyed look, but I brush it aside. Right now, my real brother is more important. I give Pan a glare in return, and turn to inspect Bae. He has bruises and the black eye and bloody lip, but overall he looks alright. At least he isn't as bad as when Pan tortured him.

"Are you okay?" I ask Bae, gently running a hand over his black eye.

He looks at me, and seems to realize who's talking to him.

"Jess?" he asks.

I feel a small surge of relief that he is still with me. He looks alright, but he is still probably weak from the time he was sick. He shouldn't have taken this risk, not when he had so little strength.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," I reply, with a small smile, earning a small snort from Bae.

For a second, I forget that we're in the middle of the Lost Boys' camp, with Pan only a few feet away, probably intent on killing us. I forget the act, the fact that I'm lying, everything.

For a second, it's as if Bae and I are back in our cave, taking on Neverland together.

Then, Bae grabs my wrists, and the moment ends.

"Run, Jess," he whispers, urgently. "Get out of here! Go!"

I want so badly to go. To do as he says, and get out of here. But I won't. I'm not leaving him, and I'm not going to run. Not when I can save him. Not when I can keep him safe from Pan.

But, if I'm going to do it, I'll have to tell him. I'll have to tell him what I've done. I feel like I'm about to be sick. I can't do this. Not to Bae. To him, it will look like I've stabbed him in the back, when I'm protecting him. I'm keeping him safe.

I need to do it. For him. I need to keep him safe.

_Just like the Snow White from my dreams lied to her prince to protect him._

"Why aren't you running?" insists Bae. "You have to go, now."

I sigh, and I gently take Bae's hands which are still holding onto my wrists. He looks down at my hands in confusion, then looks back up at me.

"Bae, there's something I need to tell you," I murmur.

I need to tell him. I want so badly to tell him. But how? How can I look my best friend in the eye and tell him everything we've worked for has been for nothing?  
"What is it?" he asks. I can tell by his tone that he suspects something is wrong.

I open my mouth, but again, I can't find the words. I don't want to tell him. I don't want to put him through this. Not after everything he has done for me.

Before I can say anything, though, I feel an icy hand grab me by the back of my shirt, and pulling me away. I want so badly to turn and hit Pan, but I force myself not to. I need to play along. For Bae. Instead, I simply pull out of his grip, but I don't move back to Bae.

"Did I never tell you, Baelfire?" Pan asks. "Shame on me."

Shame on me? That's what he is saying? If it was me, I'd be thinking of a few appropriate, if colorful, names to call him. Then again, if I had a choice, I would be safe with Bae. Or, at home with Abby.

"Last night, we had a visitor," explains Pan, smirking. "Before you, that is."

I realize what he's doing, and I panic. I don't want Bae to know. Not like this. Not with Pan telling him, as if I've stabbed him in the back.

But, he doesn't have to say anything. I can see it on Bae's face, as he looks from me, to Pan, then back to me. Then, I see understanding enter his eyes.

And then betrayal.

"Jess?" he asks again. This time, his tone isn't surprised, but scared, sad, and pleading.

He wants me to deny it. He wants me to say it isn't true. That Pan dragged me off when he was asleep and weak, and that I'm just as much a prisoner as he is. And I want to lie. I want so badly to tell him that I'm with him, not Pan.

I look at Bae, and I feel a tear fall down my cheek as I meet his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

Bae shakes his head, refusing to not break his gaze.

"No," he mutters. "No."

"Bae, I'm so sorry," I say, stepping forward.

Pan pulls me back, and puts his arm around me, crushing me against him.

"Baelfire, have introduced you to our newest member?" he asks, as Bae still stares at me, betrayal written all across his face. "I'd like you to meet our first ever Lost Girl."

He raises his free arm, gesturing to me, as I try to pull out of his grasp.

_I hate him. First he kidnaps me, traps me, tortures my friend. and now this. He's hurting Bae. Hurting him worse than any torture he put Bae through. I hate him so much._

"Don't you dare say it," I hiss, through clenched teeth. "Don't you dare hurt him like that."

Pan only shrugs and looks as me as if he's asking what else he can do. He turns back to Bae, and I want so badly to break out, to cover his mouth as Felix did to me a minute ago, to cover Bae's ears. To do something.

"Vin."

At the words, the Lost Boys start to cheer, but Bae and I are only looking at each other. Everything about his posture, his expression, his eyes, they are all asking him a single question: why?

I'm not doing this. I'm not going to just stand here, and let him think I betrayed him. I'm doing this for him. I'm doing this to save him.

I don't know if Pan lets me go for the fun of it, or because he's too distracted, but either way, I slip out of his grasp, and run to Bae.

I'm back down to his level, but he pulls away, as if refusing to look.

"Bae, listen to me," I whisper. "If I could do anything to change this, I would."

Bae looks back up at me, and I almost sob at the look he's giving me.

"Why, Jess?" he asks. "Why would you do this? To me? To yourself?"

I reach out to touch his hand, but he pulls back. That one small movement hurts me more than any of Pan's taunts ever did.

"Bae, he hurt you because he couldn't find me," I reply, trying not to break down. "I'm not going to let that happen. Not again. Not when I have a chance to save you."

Bae shakes his head.

Why can't he understand? I'm doing this for him. For both of us.

"You don't have to save me, Jess," he says. "Not if it means giving yourself up to him. Do you know what he'll do to you now, when he thinks he has you?"

"Bae, don't you get it?" I ask. "He hurt you, because he couldn't get to me. I don't care what he does to me. I don't care if he taunts me, hurts me, or even tortures me like he did you. There isn't anything else he can do to me. Except hurt you."

Bae looks me in the eye again, and I can tell that he wants it all to be a bad dream, just as badly as I do.

"Then let's run," he insists. "We'll find a new hiding place, a better one."

I have already thought of that. And as much as I want to, I can't.

"You know why we can't do that," I reply. "Nothing lasts forever Bae, and here, he has all the time in the world. He's going to track us down eventually, and when he does, he'll take me and kill you. I'm not letting that happen Bae. I won't let that happen."

Bae looks at me, and I want so badly to hug him and tell him I'm sorry. That it's all going to be okay. I never meant for this to happen. I only wanted to keep him safe. If I knew what he would do, what Pan would do, I wouldn't have come.

"I thought you were my sister," he mutters.

The words are like a knife. Cutting into me, and leaving me bleeding.

"I am," I reply. "You know that I am."

"Then come back with me," Bae says, reaching for my hand. "Just create a distraction, and we'll-"

The moment his hand touches mine, I feel something, like a sharp electric shock. Both Bae and I let out a small gasp, as our hands instinctively pull apart.

_What? _

"Oh, did I forget to mention that too?"

I turn to Pan, remembering that he's still here.

He did this, I realize. That little shock. He did that.

"You see, we can't risk our sister running off again, now can we?" asks Pan, talking more to the Lost Boys than to me. "So, I took a little extra precaution."

He bends down so that he's eye level with me and Bae.

"Let's just say that you won't be dragging Vin anywhere, Baelfire," says Pan. "Unless you like that feeling you just had."

_That motherless son of a...he put a spell on us. He made it so that Bae and I can't touch without getting shocked. That way, we won't be able to help each other. I won't be able to hug him, or help him, or anything that involves touching. _

"You bastard," I snarl, pushing him away from me. "You evil, twisted, screwed up bastard!"

Pan just laughs, as he gets up, and pulls me up with him.

"Call it a brotherly protectiveness," he says, as he pulls me away from Bae.

Brotherly protectiveness? No, what Bae did, attacking Pan to try to find me, that was brotherly. Foolish, yes, but brotherly all the same. This is Pan putting a wall around me so that the only person who I really care about can't touch me.

"Screw you," I hiss, trying to free myself from his grip.

"Now, Vin, didn't you learn your lesson about language on your first night here?" asks Pan.

_No. I'm not doing this. I'm not playing his game so that he hurts both Bae and I. _

I'm about to let him know what I think about his cussing rule when I hear Bae cry out again. I turn to see the other boys starting to take up kicking at him again. Bae curls up into a ball, not lifting a finger to defend himself. I'm not sure if it's because of weakness, or because of what I've done.

I take a deep breath, and force myself to calm down. Pan is purposefully riling me up. He's doing it to get me to play his game. I may be acting, but I'm not playing. Not when it puts Bae's life at risk.

"I'll stay," I tell Pan, forcing myself to look away and back to him.

He turns to me, and looks at me strangely, as if trying to figure out what I'm saying.

"If you promise not to hurt him, then I'll stay," I explain. "I won't fight, I won't protest. Heck, I'll even obey your stupid cuss rule. But only if you leave him alone."

Pan smirks, and I can see the wheels already spinning in his head. He thinks he's won. He hasn't. I'm still Jess, I'm still fighting. I'm just not going to make it obvious anymore.

"Deal," he says.

For a second, I feel a small surge of relief, when I realize that the boys have not stopped hurting Bae. I turn to Pan angrily. Is he breaking his deal already?  
"You said-" I start, but Pan cuts me off.

"Your protection extends only so far, Vin," Pan says. "Baelfire attacked _me_ willingly. He needs to understand the consequences."

"He only was worried about me," I reply. "Just let me talk to him, just this once, and he won't set foot in this camp ever again."

Pan pauses for a moment, as if considering.

"I won't run," I insist. "I will just be outside of camp. Let me talk to him, and I'll persuade him never to set foot in camp again."

Pan listens, then nods.

"That's enough," he calls to the boys tormenting Bae.

They instantly stop at Pan's orders, and leave Bae. Without hesitation, or anything. I can't help but wonder what Pan did to make them follow him so readily.

"You have three minutes," Pan tells me, before letting go of me. "If he is still here, he won't get a second chance, Vin."

I nod, and try to help Bae up, but both of us are shocked again. I bite my tongue, holding back the urge to scream, and wait for Bae to get up.

"Come on," I say, gently shepherding him away from the Lost Boys. "Let's go."

Bae looks up at me, and I glance at him, hoping he realizes that I can't say anything. Not here, not with everyone watching. I already risked too much when I spoke to him before. Once we're away and out of earshot, I turn back to Bae, and brace myself.

I want so badly to hug him, but I can't. I can't even touch him.

"Alright," I say, not meeting his eyes. "Let me have it."

He blinks, then cocks his head.

"What?" he asks.

"Come on, Bae, don't play dumb," I say, sighing. "I know that you want to get it out. That you're disappointed, that I betrayed you. This may be your only chance to say it, so you might as well."

Bae looks at me for a minute, then shakes his head.

"I'm not," he says.

That can mean a ton of things. He's not going to yell, he's not going to take the chance, he's not going to leave. All of the above, maybe…

"I'm not disappointed," he says. "I don't think you betrayed me either."

At his words, I feel something rise inside me, and I am able to make myself meet his eyes. And, for a split second, I dare to hope.

"Y-You're not," I murmur, relief pouring out.

Bae shakes his head, and gives me a small smile.

"I first thought Pan had you when I woke up," he explains. "I saw that you were gone, and you didn't come back all night. I knew something happened. I thought maybe Pan tracked me back here, and found you. So, I came back here, and waited until Pan went to sleep. I remember from...from before."

Before the Indians, he means. Before he ran, and "betrayed" Pan.

"I got in, and tried to hold a knife to him, to get him to tell me where you were," he continues. "But, uh, it didn't exactly work. Guess that will teach me to break into somewhere without knowing how to get out."

"I guess so," I agree still unable to believe it.

He's not mad. Even though he knows what I've done, he isn't angry. He doesn't feel betrayed. He's forgiven me, just as the younger boys did.

The relief is beyond words, and if we weren't cursed, I'd hug him here and now. But, even so, something seems off. I just traded myself to Pan, and he's alright with it? The younger boys have had time to think about it, but Bae? He's just doing it out of the blue.

"I don't understand," I say. "You're just _alright_ with me doing this?"

Bae looks at me, and bites his lip. He's hesitating, and I'm not sure I'm going to like the reason.

"I know why you are," he says, and this time, he is more reserved. "I saw it when you were making that deal to talk to me, while they were hitting me. You're just looking after me, just like I did when he tortured me."

I nod, but hold back the anger at the reminder that Pan hurt him so much, only to find me.

"But, I'm not saying I like it," he continues. "How do you know he's not going to hurt you, Jess? Especially now, when you're going to pretend to be Vin? You _hate_ the idea of being Vin."

I shrug.

I haven't really thought about it. So far, I've been more focused on making sure he stays safe than on how I will be able to get by under Pan's thumb.

"I don't know," I reply, honestly. "I think I'll be alright, though."

"You think?" repeats Bae, doubtfully. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Well, I'm going to pretend I'm their sister, right?" I ask. "That means that Pan can't make me, or hurt me at all without acting like he's looking after me or the Lost Boys. So, he can't hurt me, not without the Boys wondering why he's hurting their beloved sister."

It may not be much, but it is a start. Toodles was willing to stand up for me when he saw Felix holding me. Maybe, with luck, it will be the same for when Pan finally tells me what he has planned for me.

Bae doesn't look happy about it, but there's not much he can say. He knows why I'm doing, and he knows that he can't stop me.

"Time's almost up, Vin!" calls Pan from the camp.

I sigh, and rake my fingers through my hair.

"You better go," I say. "I don't want them finding you."

Bae looks at me, and I see the same reluctance I had last night, right before I gave myself over to Pan. _But, this is my choice. It is my decision to save my brother. Just like how it was my choice to trade myself for Abby all those years ago. _

"I can't leave you here," he mutters. "Not when you're at his mercy."

I know that he's scared of the same thing that Pan wants. That this really is good-bye, that we're never going to see each other.

"Wait for me," I tell him, my voice barely a whisper. I can't take the risk of Pan overhearing us. "Give me two or three weeks. Just to let his suspicions get down. I'll meet you in the cave. It will just be a visit, but it's better than nothing."

Bae nods, and looks back at the camp. Time is running out, and he needs to leave before Pan has his boys attack him again.

"You need to go," I insist. "Please, Bae."

Bae stares at the camp, as if considering going back, and finishing his job with Pan. But, finally, he breaks his gaze, and wraps his arms around me. As soon as he does, we both pull back at the shock.

_This is going to take some getting used to,_ I think miserably.

"Jess, be careful," he insists.

"You too," I reply. "Now go!"

He nods, and starts to walk off. He pauses and looks back, as if asking me if I'm sure.  
I am. If it saves Bae, I'm sure. I didn't want to come to Neverland, but I was sure it would save Abby, so I did it. I'm sure with this too.

"Go!" I tell him.

Bae gives me one last nod before turning and running into the forest. Once he is gone, I take a deep breath, and prepare myself.

_Time to put on the act. Time to play Vin._

I'm about to turn to go back to camp, when I hear footsteps behind me.

"It's alright," I say, not bothering to look. "He's gone. I'm coming."

"Pan wasn't too worried. But, I volunteered to get you anyway."

I close my eyes and hold back a groan when I realize who it is.  
"Felix, I really don't want to talk right now," I say, crossing my arms, and turning to look at him. "I'm not in the mood."

Felix shrugs, as if it doesn't matter. To him, it probably doesn't.

"Too bad," he replies. "You are going to talk to me, and you are going to do it now, mood or no mood."

I bite my lip, then uncross my arms. I know I need to talk to him, and tell him the truth.

_I just lost my own brother, and I really don't want to pick a fight at the moment. Not with Felix. _

"Please, could you just leave me alone?" I ask, stepping around him, trying to head into camp. I will tell him; I know I will. But not right now. I have too much on my mind.

"No," says Felix, grabbing my arm as I pass.

He forcefully pulls me back, and makes me look at him. It's the first time I have seen him actually angry. Not just upset, or annoyed, or even spiteful, like he was when he took the bean. He is angry. That scares me almost as much as Pan does.

"You will explain right here and now," he insists. "How did you know his name?"

_Oh, God, I don't want to do this. I don't want to explain what happened, not like this. I wanted to do it when I was ready, and he was too. _

And if I don't do it now, I would be dishonoring Sebastian.

I sigh, and don't fight his grip on me.

"Alright," I say, nodding. "Only if you let go of me."

For a second, Felix hesitates, before letting go of me.

I take a deep breath, and get ready.

_Sebastian, help me._

"The night that I had escaped, Hook and I had arranged to meet each other," I start. "The plan was to use the bean to get back to the Enchanted Forest, where Hook could find a second one for me to use. Pan...well he figured out that Hook was involved, and he sent Sebastian-or Rufio, I guess-to kill him while you and the others looked for me."

Felix doesn't move, but stares at me stoically, as if waiting for me to slip up, and say something wrong. Even though it has been years, I remember every detail as if it were yesterday.

"I escaped and found Hook before Rufio found us," I continue. "When he did, he pushed Hook into fighting him."

"And then the pirate killed him with his own sword and left him for dead," Felix finishes. "But that doesn't explain how-"

_No. No interruptions. If I'm going to tell Felix, Sebastian's brother, what really happened, I am not allowing Pan's twisted version of the truth to come in. _

"Let me finish," I say, cutting him off.

Felix looks annoyed, but allows me to go on.

"Yeah, Hook fought him, but your brother was _winning_. He had dreamshade on his sword, and Hook couldn't get in close without risking getting cut with it. It wasn't until I intervened that he dropped his sword. When he did, Hook grabbed the sword, and stabbed him.

"But, Felix, it wasn't out of some form of dishonor or anything. Hook believed in good form, remember? He did it because he thought that was the best way to save himself and me. The moment he did, he regretted it. I could see it in his face."

Felix shakes his head.

"That's a lie," he spits, giving me a spiteful glance. "Pan told me what happened. The pirate stabbed him, and the two of you left him for dead."

"No, we didn't," I snap, not bothering to point out that Pan lied. "As soon as he fell to the ground, I stayed with him, until he died. I held his hand. He…he told me that he wanted to see you, and I...I didn't know where you were. I told him that, and said I was sorry."

I'm slowing down now, as I feel tears form and I push them back.

"He asked me to call him Sebastian," I murmur. "Not Rufio, but Sebastian. He told me that it was his name before the two of you came to Neverland. Before Pan changed it. He told me he wanted to die as Sebastian, not Rufio. So, I-I called him Sebastian. Then, he...he just...died. I-I closed his eyes."

I look up at Felix, who is staring at me, his expression mixed with pain, shock, and...grief. If I didn't know better, I would think I saw tears in his eyes.

"I didn't leave your brother, Felix," I whisper. "I stayed with him, until the end. He showed me something so close to him in his final moments. For that, I've tried to honor him in any way I could. I swear, Felix, I am not lying. To me, lying would be dishonoring your brother."

"I believe you," Felix says, cutting me off before I can continue.

I want to feel relief, like I did when the boys forgave me, and Bae wasn't angry at me. Instead, I'm just waiting to see what he does. If he will attack me for letting his brother die, or...I don't know what else.

_I did my best, Sebastian. The rest is all up to your brother. Please, please let him, in some small way, be free of Pan, like you were. _

Without warning, Felix drops to the ground, and buries his face in his hand. I can hear him sobbing softly.

I immediately drop down next to him, and wrap my arms around him. I don't say anything, or do anything. I just hold him, and let him cry into me. Less than an hour ago, I hated Felix just as much as Pan, but right now, I'm comforting him as if he is my brother as much as Bae is.

And, at the moment, I'm okay with it. I have a feeling he needs this, just like I needed to cry after Pan trapped me.

I don't know how long the two of us stay here, not moving, but simply allowing this one moment for Felix to mourn his brother, to go on. And, for the first time, I am alright with acting like a Lost Boy's sister. Because, at the moment, I think I'm honoring Sebastian in the best way that I can. I'm being there for his brother, when he can't be. If, in those last could moments I saw the real Sebastian, he would have wanted this.

After a while, Felix eventually calms down, but the two of us still sit in silence for a while. It just doesn't feel right to leave him, not after the emotion he's just shown me.

"My father didn't like us," Felix says, breaking the silence. "He would always hit us, or push us around when he was angry. Or drunk. Or bored."  
I look at him, surprised. I never knew Felix's past, much less the kind of home he came from. I tuck my legs under my arms so that my head rests on my knees, and listen.

"Sebastian always made sure that our father didn't hurt me too badly. He always took the brunt of the abuse. Didn't stop my father from giving me this though."

He runs his hand over his scar, and I feel my heart sink. I had always assumed the scar had come from a fight with the Lost Boys, or maybe from the Indian fights. Not from an abusive father.

"That's why you joined Pan," I say, realizing the truth. "You and your brother were getting away from him."

Felix nods, and gets a distant look in his eyes, as if remembering good times.

"Pan used to call me Thud," he says. "I was so grateful to get away that I went with it. So, he let me keep my name. Sebastian fought though, so Rufio stuck."

I nod, his words confirming what I've suspected for a while. Pan will let you keep your name if you don't fight him. If you do, your name gets changed to Vin, or Rufio, or whatever he wants. That way, submitting means literally giving up who you really are.

"I haven't thought of my father, or that Rufio used to be called Sebastian in years," says Felix, shaking his head. "I don't understand why, but-"

"The things you haven't thought about in years still have the ability to make you cry," I finish, knowing exactly how he feels. "I get it, trust me."

It's how I feel when I look in the mindbox, and find some random thing when I had forgotten about, because I haven't seen it in years. Or remember some funny moment I haven't thought about for ages. Somehow, those small things still have the ability to make me cry. And I can tell Felix feels the same way.

"My dad abandoned me and my family for some other woman," I tell him. He told me his story, I may as well tell mine. "After that, my mom practically left me and Abby on our own, so she could get away from the grief. She would never stop working, because it was easier than facing the pain. I was the one raising Abby when Pan took her, not my mom.

"Bae's dad dropped him through a portal when he tried to find a better life for them. I guess everyone on Neverland has had issues with parents."

When it comes down to it, I think that's why the Lost Boys are so willing to be with Pan. They feel lost, unloved, and unwanted. Pan offers them freedom and a family that will actually care for them. So, boys come to him.

They don't know the truth. They don't that Pan is just like every parent they left behind. He abandoned his own son to be young again. He is no different than my father. Actually, he's worse. He lures the boys in with promises of love and family, but he only makes them feel more lost, and more scared. So, they become closer to him, and the cycle starts again. And, given time, maybe I would have even come to believe his lie if the Shadow hadn't shown me the truth.

"Listen," I say. "If I'm going to be here for-I don't know, forever?-I don't want to have grudges, or to hate any of you guys. Pan wants me to be a sister, and I really don't want to treat any of you differently because you don't like me. If I'm going to be your sister, I want it to be clean. Truce?"

I hold out my hand, and Felix accepts it without pausing.

"Okay," he says.

I feel a small twinge of relief, as he helps me stand up.

_I did it, Sebastian. I told your brother. Maybe, now, he can find his way out of Pan's grasp, like you did. _

"Come on," says Felix. "Pan will be looking for us."

_Pan. Right._

I take a deep breath, and allow Felix to lead me to camp.

The last few minutes I had may have been genuine, but now I have to keep up the act. Now, I have to pretend to be Vin, if it kills me. It may be the only way to keep Bae safe.

_You want me to play the game, Pan? Then let's play. Just remember: we said nothing about me playing by the rules._

* * *

**A/N: ** Hey y'all! I hoped you enjoyed that! Sorry for the long wait, but hopefully the long chapter makes up for that!

A special thanks to **Ellie Field, YellowFlash67, ballet022, peterpanlover, Austin and Ally Go 1 Direction, , CrissYami, Seamistery, bookworm125, whatsworthdyingfor, Pastelartsu, **and **tippany **for putting this story on alert, and to **YellowFlash67, peterpanlover, Austin and Ally Go 1 Direction, Seamistery, whatsworthdyingfor, Pastelartsu, **and **tippany **for favoriting it. Also, thank you** sarah0406, thewritershavetheTARDIS, flamegirl100, meguhanu, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, ThePhantomismyLove, **twentyfour24, the white angel, and guest11 for leaving awesome reviews! And, of course, a special thanks to my betas **Uncommon fairy **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms! **

Okay, before I go any further: this weekend had been a busy, but amazing one for me. I got to play in a production of _Aladdin, _which was absolutely incredible! I was only one of the background people, but I still had so much fun (and I was the one who got to push Aladdin around a lot, so that was a plus). Unfortunately, that meant that I had minimal time to write, but I wrote an extra long chapter to make up for it. I hope y'all enjoyed it!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Feedback on Felix is really appreciated; it was very, very tough to write him in this chapter! **:)**


	33. Chapter 33

"Come on, Vin. Concentrate!"

"I'm trying," I snap, with my eyes closed. "This isn't as easy as it looks, you know!"

I can practically hear Pan smirking at me. If my eyes were open, I'd roll them.

"So, you're telling me that you can imagine a bean that can take you to anywhere you want," starts Felix, sounding amused. "But not one little cuff that can-"

"Okay, Felix," I reply, cutting him off before he can finish. "You try using magic to make something that counteracts magic, and _I'll_ stand around, looking intimidating."

I hear both boys laugh, and bite my tongue to add more to the comment. I need to focus on the task at hand.

Not long after Felix and I put aside our differences, Pan began "training" me. Apparently, even if I'm supposedly a sister of the Lost Boys, it isn't right that I not know how to survive. This includes self-defense, lock picking, and seeing just how far my abilities as a Dreamer could go. He's had me imagine all sorts of odd things. The cloth, about the size of a cloth napkin, that can turn things invisible is my personal favorite.

But this one? He's asking for an object that can suppress magic in a person when they wear it. Imagining something that powerful with magic? I may as well be trying my hand at rocket science.

_Alright, focus. _

I imagine the object sitting in my hand. I imagine the texture against my fingertips, the weight of it in my hand. What it does, what it can do, what it won't do.

Then, I open my eyes. In my hand is a black leather cuff. It looks pretty normal, but my sixth sense is telling me all that I need to know. When I sense magic, I can sense what type it is. When I don't sense magic, I sense the person or thing is normal. But this cuff is different. Instead of any type of magic, or just normalcy, I just sense nothing. I can sense the emptiness of the cuff, and it feels wrong.

"Did it work?" asks Pan, bringing me back to reality.

I shrug, but something tells me that I've succeeded.

"Only one way to find out," I reply, tossing him the cuff.

Pan catches it in surprise, and looks at me in confusion. Usually, we will test my creations on me, as I can always imagine them away quickly if something goes wrong. Not this time, though.

"Remember what you told me the other day?" I ask. "When you were having Marcus show me how to pick locks? Never make a cage you can't get out of. I specifically made sure it wouldn't work on me."

Pan gives me a proud smile, and nods.

"I have taught you well, Vin," he says, before slipping the cuff on his own wrist.

_He's right. He did. Which is exactly why I specifically made sure the cuff would work on him, and not on me. _

Pan inspects the cuff on his wrist, and raises an eyebrow, while Felix and I wait with bated breath. I'm suddenly aware that the twisted sense I always feel around Pan, that I have grown used to over time, is gone.

"Well, how about that?" Pan mutters, before looking back to me. "Well done, Vin."

Felix steps forward, looking surprised.

"She did it?" he asks. "The cuff took away your magic?"

"Indeed it did," Pan replies, still inspecting the cuff.

He lifts his hand, and starts to pull at it. To my amusement, it can't come off.

"You can't remove it," I explain. "Not by yourself, anyway. Someone would have to remove it for you."

Pan nods, appreciatively.

"Nice touch," he comments, before stretching his arm out to me, indicating for me to remove it.

For a second, I pause.

_I could do it. He's powerless. Right now, I could make sure that the cuff stays on permanently, and run. I could escape, get to Bae, and never have to worry about Pan threatening me with his magic ever again. _

"Vin?" asks Pan, seeing me pause.

I blink, and shake my head.

I can't do it. If I did, Felix would see, and he would get the Lost Boys to follow me. Pan would just have them take me back here, and be even angrier for what I did. Also, he has an entire camp that's full of boys who would pull off the cuff in a second, so he could come after me as well. He would probably just cut off his hand if there was no other choice. He traded his son for youth, I wouldn't put it past him to give up his hand for magic.

"Sorry, lost in thought," I reply, stepping forward. I take his hand, and hesitate for a split second

_Not now. Later. _

I pull the cuff off, and hand it to him. As soon as its off, I feel his dark magic flow back into him, like water being suppressed in a tap. Pan accepts the cuff, but tilts his head, looking at me. For a second, I'm afraid that he knows what I was thinking. That I was considering running back to Bae.

"Vin, if you wanted to hold my hand, you could have just asked, you know," he says, a teasing grin on his face.

Relief and disgust flood through me at the same time. He doesn't know, yet at the same time...

_Hold his hand? Like that? Ew. _

"No thanks," I reply flatly, letting go of his hand immediately. "I choose life."

I hear Felix give me a snort, and I turn to give him a scowl.

"Shut up, Felix!" I say, fighting a smile.

Felix holds up his hands defensively, as if telling me to leave him out of it.

Ever since we made the peace, Felix has been a lot nicer. He has helped me get used to living with the Lost Boys and their strange traditions (like their game where they see who can eat the most worms without getting sick), and has apparently volunteered to teach me to fight when Pan is done testing my abilities. And, a couple of nights ago, he even came to my defense when one of the boys thought he'd be clever and pinch me. Then again, many other boys did too. But, still, the gesture was appreciated.

Luckily, it is nothing like the bond I share with Bae. It's not romantic either. He's just acting like a friend to me. I don't know if he's realized that I haven't really given in or not, but I'm glad he's doing it, either way.

"Aw, Vin, don't back down _now,_" Pan whines. "It's no fun when you play hard to get."

I feel my cheeks go red, and I almost want to give a jab about how much fun he had chasing me for years. But, I can't say that. I can't give Pan any hints of what I'm doing. Of where I'm disappearing to every few weeks, when he's not looking.

"Bite me," I say flatly, instead of teasing him, knowing that Pan will enjoy the banter.

"Oh, with pleasure, Vin," Pan replies without missing a beat.

In one fluid motion, he wraps an arm around me, and pulls me close to him. Once, I would have slapped him, and be scared that he would actually bite me. But, after a while, I've just learned to accept what he does as a game. A playful banter, back and forth.

"Cute," I say. "But you forget who's teaching me self-defense."

With that, I pull myself out from under his grip, and grab his upper arm. I twist my hip into him, and use his imbalance and my momentum to throw him to the ground.

Pan lets out a laugh, and I can hear Felix chuckling. Pan holds out an arm, and I help him up, but drop my hand before he can flirt some more.

"Well done, Vin," Pan says, and I give him a mocking bow, which gets Felix and Pan laughing even more.

For a second, I take it all in. I'm smiling, standing with Felix and Pan, and we aren't acting as enemies. For a second, I don't see them as the people who kidnapped me and Abby, but as my friends. I see them as Lost Boys, and I see myself as a Lost Girl.

_NO!_

I can't think like that. I can _never_ think like that. If I believe, even for one second that I am a Lost Girl, it will be true. I will break, and I will have really given in to Pan.

_Remember Bae._ Bae is the only one who I can think about as a brother. If I forget that, I forget everything. I will really become Vin.

"You alright, Vin?" asks Felix, sounding concerned.

I blink, and shake myself.

_Don't drop the act. Dropping the act could endanger Bae. _

"Yeah," I reply. "Lost in thought. Again."

I don't think they bought it. Pan takes me by the upper arms, and looks me over, while Felix steps closer for his own personal inspection. Both boys aren't smiling anymore, but looking at me with worry all over their face. For a second, I can see the legitimate concern in Felix's eyes. I don't buy Pan's though. If anything, he just seems concerned that his new toy might be broken.

"Guys, I'm okay," I assure them, trying to step away.

Pan's grip doesn't falter though.

"Pan, you can let go now," I say, starting to grow uncomfortable.

If he looks any further, he's going to burn a hole in my face. For a minute, I feel a surge of fear.

_Does he know? Does he know about my sneaking off to see Bae? Is he going to hurt him again, when he promised not too? _

_Did I put Bae in danger again?_

"Is it the dreams again?" Felix asks.

How does he know about that? I didn't tell anyone but Bae about those. How could he possibly know?

Still, it is an alternative to what I was scared about, so I'll take what I can.

"Yeah," I reply, nodding. "I'm not sure how you know, but, yes."

My answer seems to satisfy both boys, and I feel relief course through me.

_For now, Bae is safe. And, as long as I can keep this up, it will stay that way. _

"Toodles has heard you whimpering in your sleep," explains Pan. "We didn't want to bring it up, but if it's getting bad…"

It hasn't. It is the same as it was, all those years ago. And every night, I'm just as miserable as I was the first time.

_Just tell them, _I tell myself. _Pan doesn't want his new toy breaking down. Who knows? Maybe he'll help you._

"Not really," I reply. "But it hasn't exactly been getting better either."

I briefly explain what my dreams have been like since the curse I dreamed about. It may have been years ago, but I still remember all the details as if it were yesterday. As I get further into my story, Pan's face grows more and more concerned. I would almost believe it if I didn't see an eager glint in his eyes. I've seen the glint before. I saw it when I agreed to trade myself to Pan. When he renamed me Vin. When he tried to drag Abby back into Neverland.

Suddenly, I don't think telling him about my dreams was the best idea. But, I can't stop. Doing so may give the act away.

"And ever since, I've always dreamt of being frozen in that last moment, when the smoke consumed me," I finish.

Pan nods, while Felix just looks confused.

"I see," Pan says. "Thank you for telling me, Vin."

I really wish I hadn't. Pan already knows what I'm doing, where I am, what I can do. My dreams, no matter how bad they are, are one of the few things I have left that are my own.

So long as he doesn't find out about my mindbox, I am safe. He can't make me forget who I am as long as I have the mindbox.

"How is that possible, though?" asks Felix. "How can she be having the same dream every night for the last…"

He trails off, as if trying to figure out how many years it's been.

"Ten years?" finishes Pan. "Interesting question."

I'm too shocked to ask for an answer.

Ten years? I've been gone for over ten years? It has felt like so much longer, but I know time moves differently in Neverland. A few hours back home can be days here.

_But, back home…_

Abby is seventeen now. She's as old as I am. My baby sister, who I still imagine as seven, is my age. How much have I missed from her life? How much has she needed me, when I'm still trapped here?

_Ten years…_

"The answer lies in you being a Dreamer, Vin," Pan explains, unaware of my thoughts.

_Ten years...no, I need to keep up the act._

"What has that have to do with anything?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Think, Vin," says Pan. "Before you dreamt of the smoke, you saw events taking place, right? You were never part of it, just watching it all unfold. Always the same land, but different parts."

I nod, but still have no idea what he's getting at.

"Right up until the end, when the curse hit," I reply, letting confusion slip into my voice.

Pan nods, as if this makes sense. If it does, he's going to have to explain it to me, because I still have no idea what he's saying.

"There is a reason you are a Dreamer, Vin," Pan says. "It wasn't like you were a normal girl one day, and a Dreamer the next. You were born as a Dreamer. Long ago, a fairy from the world you see in your dreams came to your world. Her descendents still have her magic in their veins. Every night, as they sleep, their souls travel to the world the fairy first came from: the Enchanted Forest. The walls between the realms act as filters, though. They make the souls invisible, and silent."

"And I'm one of those descendents," I say, starting to catch on. "Some of the magic is in my blood and that's why I'm so powerful here in Neverland."

"Exactly," Pan says, nodding. "And that also explains what you saw in your dreams. Every night, you were travelling to the Enchanted Forest, and watching what was taking place there."

I blink, then try to see if I'm understanding this correctly. If he's right, then what I saw was real. I always had the feeling it was real, but…

"So, everything I saw was real?" I ask. "The curse, the baby being born, the Dark One…"

Pan scoffs at the last one. I give him a questioning look and he shrugs modestly.

"I met the Dark One, once," he explains. "He wasn't too impressive. I was even able to take his son for a little bit, if that tells you anything about his power."

_Wait, what? The Dark One has a son? The scaly, giggling, insane creature I saw in my dreams has a kid?_

Wherever he is, I feel sorry for the poor boy. I can't imagine having a father like that. Then again, my dad abandoned me, and I'm stuck with someone who traded his own son for youth. I can't exactly talk.

_But, if everything I saw was real...oh, no...Hook…_

He really did all the things I saw. He really became the cold and heartless man I read about in stories. He killed innocent people, whether guards just doing their jobs, or a young woman in a prison cell who didn't give him the information he needed. As soon as he got out of Neverland, he changed for the worse.

_Was he always like that? Would he have acted the same, if I had gotten out. Or did he change because I didn't make it out? _

_Was the man I knew even real?_

I don't want to think about it. Hook was my friend. Heck, more than that, he was like a father to me. Losing him was hard. He was always there, supporting me, giving me a shoulder to cry on. I don't want to know that he changed, because I wasn't there.

"So, if that is the case," I say, trying to tear myself from my thoughts, "then why do I dream of darkness? Shouldn't I still be dreaming of the Forest? Unless...the curse supposedly destroyed the land, right? Everyone was taken with it, to another world. But, since it was just me in a dream-"

"You are only partially under the curse," Pan finishes, looking pleased that I'm figuring it all out. "Your soul is cursed, but it only comes in a dream. But, part of the curse is that time freezes, sort of like here in Neverland. So, your soul is frozen in the moment that you were consumed by the curse."

And in that last moment, I was afraid. So, whenever I dream, I go back to that one moment of fear, and I'm trapped in that moment.

_How am I supposed to react to this? I mean, I'm happy to know what's going on, but knowing that my soul is under a curse isn't exactly comforting. _

"I see," is all that I say, but that doesn't exactly cover everything I feel, about all of this.

Pan seems to understand. He waits silently, as I try to wrap my head around it. My soul is under a curse, and that is why I've had the same nightmare for over ten years. Just peachy.

"If you want," says Pan after a few minutes, "I can help you."

My first instinct is to wonder I should ever want Pan's help. But, he thinks I'm Vin. Maybe he'll really try to help. And, if what he offers isn't good, I can always say no.

"What do you have in mind?" I ask cautiously.

If I wasn't looking, I would have missed it. A small flash in Pan's eyes that said he's glad I'm accepting his help. It means I'm starting to trust him, I guess. I almost want to walk away just to prove him wrong, but I force myself to hear him out.

"I can put up...barriers, of some sort," he explains. "They will keep your soul from travelling to the Enchanted Forest every night."

"How will that help?" asks Felix, who has been quiet through most of this conversation. "I mean, her soul is naturally travelling to the Forest every night. Won't blocking it hurt her?"

Pan shakes his head, but I can't help but feel a rush of gratitude towards Felix.

"No," Pan replies. "Not when the land is cursed. But, from what you have told me, Vin, the curse is going to be broken sooner or later. The force of the curse breaking should break down my barriers, and your soul will be able to return back to the Enchanted Forest, free of the curse."

So, if anything, it's more waiting out the curse. And, I'm alright with that. I'm tired of having the same dream, feeling the same fear, every time I fall asleep. I want to dream again.

"Alright," I say, nodding. "Do it."

Pan looks at me in surprise. I guess he thought I would take a long time to at least consider it.

"Are you sure?" he asks, warily. "Because once I put up the barriers, they won't come down until the curse is broken."

"I get that," I reply. "But I want it all to stop. I've had the same nightmare for ten years, and it feels like a lot longer. I want to be fine with falling asleep again. I want to be able to dream again."

I look from Pan to Felix, and look both of them in the eyes. I feel sure about this, and if I don't take the chance now, I know I never will.

Finally, Pan nods.

"Close your eyes," he orders.

As I close them, I feel his fingers touch my temples. I feel the dark magic flowing from him, and into me. I don't know what is happening, but suddenly I feel sick. It's like I can feel the darkness running through me. I can feel it enter my head, and then through my body. I can feel it pulsing through me with every beat of my heart, and flowing with my blood.

_This is wrong. I don't know what it is, but this is wrong. _

"Stop!" I shout. "I changed my mind. Stop it!"

I hear no reply, and I realize that I must not have spoken at all. I was only shouting in my head. But did Pan hear me, or did he not?

"Please, don't," I plead, mentally, trying to reach out to the source of the dark magic running through my head. "Please, make it stop. I'll take the nightmares. Just stop. Just make it stop."

Then, I feel it. It's as if I'm asleep again, and I'm having the same dream as always.

Darkness. And beyond the darkness, nothing. Just an empty void. There's no death, but there's not life either. There isn't even memories to look back on. Just a shell of a world that once was. I'm the only thing here. I'm alone, and it scares me. I try to shout out the names of those I love, but I can't remember them. That scares me even more.

Then, it all changes. It's as if I'm being sucked away from the dream, pulled out of this place, and into daylight.

I open my eyes, and I see Felix and Pan standing over me with worried eyes.

_What?_

"What...what happened?" I ask, sitting up slowly. The dark feeling I had so long ago is now gone. But, there's something extra. Like some sort of weight has been added to me, somewhere.

"You passed out," replied Felix, reaching out a hand to help me up. "You had gone all limp, then you sort of fainted, I guess."

I turn to Pan for an explanation, and he just shrugs apologetically.

"You were fighting, as always, Vin," he says. "Your soul was fighting my barriers, and I guess, instinctively, you passed out, so your soul could go to the Forest, and it could be safe. I had to pull it back and set up the barriers."

_That explains it, I guess. My soul sensed the darkness, and I realized I preferred my dreams to what Pan was doing. But, now, I guess it doesn't matter. Until the curse breaks, I'm not going to be going to the Enchanted Forest any time soon. At least, I don't think I am._

"So, that's it?" I ask. "You set the barriers in place?"

Pan smiles, and claps me on the shoulder, as if we are old friends.

"You don't have to be afraid to dream now, Vin," he says. "And you picked the best spot to start dreaming again. Neverland is a place where new dreams are born. Let's see what you can come up with."

He says it in such a friendly, brotherly tone, that I nearly miss it. A glint in his eyes, an underlying steel to his voice.

_He isn't encouraging me,_ I realize. _He's testing my abilities. Whatever he has planned for me, he's going to do something about it. Soon._

* * *

Hook wasn't sure why he bothered coming back to the castle.

He and Cora had emptied it of anything of value, and when they had infiltrated the group of refugees as a blacksmith and as the knight in charge (Cora, of course, had chosen the knight), they had torn down some of the ruins to build houses. There was nothing left for him there. He shouldn't have felt the need to keep returning.

At least, that's what Cora had said.

It didn't matter to him, though. At least, in the castle, he could see Jess. He could look at her face, and know that she was still trapped. He could remind himself of what he had to do the moment the curse broke, and silently put together plans to get her out.

He would get her out. That much he knew. He didn't know how, or what the price was. But, whatever the price, he was willing to pay it.

His Jess, his lass, was trapped in that hell hole, and he wasn't about to leave her there.

He had to be careful not to let Cora know his reasons for returning. Sometimes he would go out, pretending to hunt, or fish, or whatever chore he could think of, just to steal a few hours, sitting with Jess, and reminding himself of what he had to do. He could not let Cora know his weakness. If Cora did find about her...well, she would smirk, make some comment that had some underlying meaning, then never bring her up again.

But, he had spent enough time around the queen to know how her mind worked. In Cora's mind, Jess would become a pawn, a new chess piece for Cora to use against him if she had to. The lass was already a game piece to Pan; he was not about to let her be part of two games that two different psychopaths.

Careful to make sure no one was following, he crept through the castle halls. He had already memorized the way to where Jess was. Even if she wasn't there when he first arrived, he would only have to wait for a little while. He knew how time worked differently in Neverland. A day in Neverland was a few hours back here, even with the curse. Jess would appear every few hours, and linger for a little while, as she fell asleep back in Neverland.

He turned into the hall, and, as his habit, looked to see if Abby was there. If she was, he would give her a small smile, remembering the night that she had met him. When she wasn't there, he just moved on to the room where his daughter was.

He had decided a while ago that he may as well call her his daughter. She was pretty much an orphan when he met her. Her father had left her, and her mother had all but abandoned her. He, on the other hand, would have taken her under his wing, and would have adopted her in a heartbeat if she asked.

He sighed, shaking his head.

"You sound like a madman, mate," he muttered to himself. "Obsessed with something he lost long ago."

Maybe he was obsessed. Maybe he was driving himself mad, focusing everything on finding Jess. Risking his entire alliance with Cora just to be with her. But at the moment, he couldn't care less. Even if he went insane trying to find her, if he succeeded, he was perfectly happy.

He entered the room, where she was always huddled, frozen, in a corner. Except, for the moment she wasn't here. Hook was alright with that. He could wait. She would come in a little while. Sitting down in his usual spot, Hook pulled out his bottle of rum (something Cora was kind enough to give him), and took a swig.

He wasn't sure how exactly Cora planned for them to escape the Enchanted Forest once the curse broke, but he personally hoped that it would not harm the other refugees. Even though he was there as a disguise, there was something slightly admirable about the Prince...Phoebus? Philip?

Well, whatever his name, the man bowed before good form. And-well, he may as well admit it-Hook could sympathize with the man for wanting to be reunited with his love after the curse broke. Hook knew understood that feeling better than anyone.

He took another swig of rum, when he saw something appear out of the corner of his eye. He gave a small smile. She was here. No different than she had been the last time he should her. Thin, her hair matted, her clothes a mess. Her eyes wide with fear, and her mouth open in a silent scream.

But, still, his lass was here. Despite the pain it caused him, he was happy to see her again.

"Hello, lass," he muttered, knowing she wouldn't respond. "Good to see you again."

She only stayed frozen, as she always did.

Hook sighed, and rubbed his eyes. Sometimes he wondered how long he could keep this up. He knew his plans, he could revise them over and over. But, visiting her like this, when she didn't even know he was with her? How was that going to help her?

"Maybe I should let go, lass," he told her, looking at her. "Maybe I should stop visiting, and try to help Cora a little more. I dare say that the viper of a woman would be pleased. Did I ever tell you she tried to rip out _my _heart? Can you believe that, lass? I mean, I saw the crocodile do it to Milah, but I never thought…"

He trailed off, but wasn't sure what else to say. He _was _going mad. Just sitting here, talking to Jess, unable to help her, or at least let her know that she was coming in someway. It was like being in Neverland again, before the lass turned up. Just sitting there, planning over and over again how to avenge Milah, but unable to leave.

But, for the lass, he could sit there. He could wait. And when he got her out, he would tell her how he never left her side when he saw her. And that he wasn't leaving her side again.

The thought made him smile, of the lass, him, and the crew sailing the seas on _The Roger. _No worries, no crocodile, and no Pan. Just them against the world.

"Just hold on a little longer, lass," he told her. "I'm coming."

Suddenly, something happened. Hook would have missed it if he hadn't been watching her.

Jess, like all the Dreamers, was always translucent when she appeared. Then, she would slowly fade away when, Hook assumed, she woke up back in Neverland.

But, in that brief moment, her form flickered. It had never done that before.

Then it flickered again. And again. And again.

Hook felt panic creeping into his heart, and he slowly stood and approached her.

"Lass?" he asked.

She didn't respond, as always. She just stayed there, like a silent, translucent statue, before she flickered again.

Hook had never seen this sort of thing before. He wasn't sure what was happening, or why. Just that, whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"Lass!" he shouted, panic becoming much more stronger. "Jess! No, don't!"

He didn't know why he was so scared, or how he was so sure that this was bad. But, he just knew that what was happening, just that it was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen.

He reached out for her, but his hand only passed through her form, like a ghost.

_Wait…_

Cora had said that these figures were Dreamer's souls, traveling to the Enchanted Forest. They would return when the Dreamer awoke.

The only reason Jess's soul, or anyone's soul would act like this was because there was nothing to go back to. Her soul was acting like this, because it was no longer tethered to her body. The only way that could happen was if...if she was dead.

Her soul was flickering because she was _dying_.

"No!" he shouted, trying desperately to cling to her. "Lass, no! Don't you die on me, lass! Come on, lass! COME ON!"

He could do nothing though. Absolutely nothing. He could only watch, with horror as it happened.

She was flickering, and then, in a heartbeat, her figure disappeared completely.

No! No, it wasn't happening! She was alive; he knew it. If he just willed, if he just wished harder, maybe she was still alive.

He was on the ground, scrambling around where she had been only seconds ago, trying to feel around for her. Trying to find any hint that he had not lost her. Not yet.

"No, lass!" he cried, as he felt around. "No, lass, come back! You can't go. I promised I'd find you, Jess. I promised I'd save you. Don't leave me, not now. Lass? Lass!"

He had no idea how it happened, but suddenly he was on the ground, in a crumpled heap, sobbing into the floor. His hand that had been searching for her was pounding the floor in a fist, and his hook was scratching the stone.

"No, lass," he sobbed. "Don't die! Please don't die! I need to find you again. I need to save you, and get you back to your sister. Lass...lass, please..."

But, in his heart, he knew it was hopeless. He knew that no amount of tears or shouting would bring her back.

She was gone. She...she was dead.

He felt...he felt...no, he wasn't feeling at all.

She was dead. Like Milah, like Liam, like everyone he had ever loved.

He had been trying so hard to reach her, and he had failed. He had promised her he would save her, and he failed her.

He hadn't been able to stop her from being taken by Pan at the last minute, he hadn't been able to rescue her when he was not trapped by the curse. And now, he couldn't save her at the end.

She was dead. Gods, she was _dead_!

He gasped, and looked where her image had been only a moment ago.

He felt empty, weak.

There was sunlight streaming into the ruins, a gentle breeze around him, birds singing happily in the trees. It was a beautiful day. Yet to him, it all seemed wrong.

The last thing he had, the last person he truly cared about was gone forever. No bean, no spell, _nothing_ would help him find her again.

The world shouldn't be cheerful, or beautiful. It should have been sad, and empty, just like he felt. There should have been nothing in the world that made anyone smile. Because the one person who opened his heart for the first time in years was gone for good.

_Pan...oh, gods…_

He had probably murdered her. She had probably been fighting for so long, that he got tired, and killed her. Ripped out her shadow, crushed her heart, maybe just used his knife. But, somehow, Hook knew that Pan had done this to her.

_Why?_ he asked. _Why, of all the people you had to kill, Pan, did it have to be her? Why her?_

_Why couldn't it have been me? It should have been me!_

He should have been the one Pan took, not Jess. He should have been the one Pan killed, not the lass.

At least the lass would have had someone besides him. She had her family and friends. But she had been all Hook had.

Now, he had nothing. Nothing.

Just a bloody ship, and revenge.

That was all he had, and that was all he was good for now. He couldn't find the crocodile's dagger, he couldn't kill the bloody Queen of Hearts, and he couldn't save the people who needed him the most.

He couldn't save Liam from the poison. He couldn't save Milah from having her heart ripped out. And now, when he swore he would find her and save her, he couldn't save Jess.

He was useless. If he couldn't even save his loved ones, then what was the point of him?

There was only one thing he had left now: his quest to get revenge on the crocodile. If he hadn't focused so much on finding the crocodile, if he hadn't put avenging Milah over Neverland, then maybe the lass would have made it. Maybe he would have been able to save her.

It would be useless trying to kill Pan. The boy was more of a demon than the crocodile. If he went after Pan, he would never be able to kill the crocodile.

No, Hook would give everything to killing Rumpelstiltskin. His only purpose now was to avenge his loved ones. Even if he didn't find the dagger, he would find a way.

And when he finally sank his hook into the crocodile's heart, it wouldn't just be for Milah. He would be avenging the lass as well. He would avenge both women's souls, if it killed him.

Revenge was the only thing he was good for now.

* * *

**A/N: **Wow. I feel like a terrible person right now.

Hey, y'all! I am so, so, so, so, so sorry for this late update. My Thanksgiving break wasn't exactly a vacation. But, I did get to see my family who lives out of town, and I got to see my new nephew, who is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I hope y'all had a pleasant Thanksgiving as well, and thank you so much for your patience with this update. Again, I'm so sorry it took so long!

Also, I'm glad y'all liked the moment with Felix and Jess in the last chapter! I honestly wasn't planning to add it until I had re-watched Felix's conversation with Rumple, and I thought Jess could have been the one to tell him about the things still making you cry. I'm happy to hear that y'all liked it so much!

A special thanks to **Idek1998, wavelights, Sophie Alice Rosalie Potter, kksambo, stoxy99, Asphodelia, Taeniaea, **and **AureliaPhoenixAnastasia** for putting this story on alert, and to **tippany, **Sophie Alice Rosalie Potter,**** and **stoxy99 **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **scorpiongirl92, sarah0406, meguhanu, peterpanlover, Tukie4, kksambo, songwriter16, Taeniaea, **The white angel, Ode to a Fangirl, shootingstar1618, twentyfour24, and guest for your awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **and **Uncommon fairy**, my incredible betas!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Feedback on Hook is especially appreciated, and kudos to anyone who can tell me where the cuff makes an appearance in the show! **:)**


	34. Chapter 34

I silently fly through the forest on my ziplines, my sixth sense alert for Pan.

_Calm down, _I tell myself. _He won't find you. You've been going to see Bae for ages, and he hasn't caught on yet. _

Still, all it takes is one slip up from me, and Bae is put in danger again. I'm not allowing that to happen. Not after I saw what Pan did to him, just to get to me.

I will admit, it has been easier than I expected, blending in with the Lost Boys. Letting Pan test my abilities, learning how to fight and defend myself. But, every so often, there will be one of those moments when I slip up. When I lose myself, and believe, for a small second, that I am a Lost Girl.

I'm not. I'm not a Lost Girl, and my name isn't Vin. It's Jess.

_So, why do I have to keep telling myself that?_

I stop at one tree, and massage my sore arms before scaling down to the ground, with a small smile. Going quietly, as the Boys taught me, I creep along the ground, and into the secret entrance of Bae's cave. When I emerge from the opening, I see that Bae hasn't even looked up. I must be getting better at this.

"Knock, knock," I say, standing up.

Bae turns, sees me, and breaks out into a huge grin. He stands up, and hurries over, as if to give me a hug. However, just as he's about to, he pauses, as he remembers the shock spell that Pan put on us. He covers it up with a false smile, but I have to keep myself from snarling in frustration.

I hate this curse that Pan put on us. I've been trying so hard to find a way to remove it, but it's impossible without Pan figuring out about my little escapades to see Bae.

The thing that I hate the most is that it's succeeding. Even though Bae and I try to act like nothing has changed, I can tell that it's a wedge between us.

Bae and I weren't just friends, we were the other's rock. If the one of us needed anything, we could always rely on the other to help, whether it was a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold. But, with this stupid curse over us, it keeps us from being there for the other. And it is incredibly frustrating.

"How are you?" asks Bae, covering up his own frustration. "Pan hasn't…"

I shake my head reassuringly.

"He doesn't know," I assure him. "He's just having me imagine more things, and train harder."

For some reason, I don't want to tell him about what happened the other day with Pan putting up the barriers. I don't know what to make of it, but deep down, it feels like its bad. Like I took my soul up, and locked it in a cage. And I know what that feels like. I didn't like it; I can't imagine that my soul likes it either. But, whatever it is, I don't think that Bae would take it too well. He's always touchy about magic.

I feel a twinge of guilt about not sharing it with him, but I'm not quite sure what other choice I have at this point.

Bae doesn't seem to realize what I'm thinking, and just raises an eyebrow at me.

"Training?" he asks, skeptically.

I nod, making a face. Training hasn't been exactly easy, especially with the kind of stunts Pan will pull on me.

"Teaching me how to defend myself, mostly," I explain. "But the guy goes completely overboard. The yesterday, he decided that I should try my hand at throwing knives. And, I did alright, I guess. I wasn't accidentally hitting anyone, anyway. But Pan, he wouldn't let me stop until I got a bulls-eye. And when I told him I haven't been throwing knives that long, he told me I had to just trust myself."

"And you let him force you to throw knives for hours?" Bae asks, looking worried. "Jess, what is he doing to you?"

I shrug, with a sigh.

"It's not like I have a choice," I reply. "I'm pretending to be Vin, remember? She wouldn't just walk away from the target. She would keep throwing knives, whether Pan told her to or not. That's just how Pan made her. And, as long as I'm pretending, I need to go along with it."

Bae still looks unhappy about it, and I know how he feels. It all seems wrong. The knife throwing, the lock picking, the magic. It almost feels like Pan expects me to be in danger at any moment. Maybe its just part of being a "Lost Girl" but it still feels wrong. When I was with Bae, he showed me how to do things, but he didn't push me. It feels like, in some subtle way, Pan is pushing me, like he always has.

"That's not the best part," I reply. "After I got sick of it, and shouted at Pan that I was tired, and that trusting myself wasn't working, he said that I needed proper motivation. Then, out of nowhere, he blindfolded me, and spun me around. I didn't even know if I was facing the target or not. Then, he told me to throw the knife. He said that I needed to trust myself, and let my feelings fly with the knife."

I pause, and shiver. At the time it had been terrifying. I could hear all the Lost Boys around me, but I couldn't tell where they were. If they were behind me, or in front of me. Or my target.

I was so afraid that Pan would make me throw the knife, and I would hit one of them. That I would have blood on my hands, like I almost did when I fired the arrow at Felix.

I remember feeling Pan directing my arm, and pulling it back for me. I felt a jolt of panic, and I begged Pan not to make me throw just laughed, and told me not to be nervous.

"_After all, Vin" _he had said. "_You are my greatest Lost One. I trust you to hit the target. Now trust yourself."_

"And?" asks Bae.

I sigh, and shrug.

"I threw the knife," I reply. "And it hit the bullseye, dead on."

Bae's jaw drops, and he looks at me with astonishment.

"Jess, that's incredible," he says. "To be able to do that blindfolded?"

I can't fight the smile that comes up. It was really neat, being able to hit the target. And, it felt good. The thrill of throwing the knife, was like flying on Pixie Dust. It felt freeing.

_I just wish Pan didn't have to put his arms around me. That just ruined everything. _

"Still," I say. "It still feels wrong that he would put the boys in that position. Or me. What if I hit someone? You know that I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt one of the younger boys."

Again.

Bae nods with understanding. I blink, remembering he wasn't always in the cave. Before he warned the indians, he was as much a prisoner in Pan's camp as I am now. Even if Pan isn't locking me up, I can't stop being Vin, unless I want Bae to get hurt. That makes me a prisoner.

That's why I need this time. Even if it is only a few minutes, or an hour, I can still drop the act, and be who I really am. Not a Lost Girl, not Vin, but little, old me. If it weren't for Bae, I'm not sure how I'd keep up the act without slipping.

"What sort of things is he having you imagine?" asks Bae, clearly trying to change the topic.

I smile, and go with it. He's trying, at least. We both are.

"Lots of strange stuff," I reply with a shrug. "I'm just curious where it all goes. He keeps mentioning his 'friends on the ground,' but when I ask, he'll only say that when I'm ready, he'll tell me."

Bae's face reflects my confusion, but he doesn't say anything.

I need to tell him. I need to tell him that I'm slipping. Those moments when I start thinking of myself as less of Jess,and more and more as a Lost Girl. Not necessarily so he knows, but so that someone will be able to help me out. Because, in that camp, I have no one. If I admit that I'm slipping, they'll either wonder why I haven't yet, or tell me to get going with it.

And if I tell Bae? He'll just panic, insist I need to stay here, then Pan finds us, and I've condemned him worse than if he went into the camp again.

_Some battles I'll have to fight on my own, I guess. Just why did it have to be this, of all of them? _

"You don't think that he has people working for him on the outside, do you?" he asks.

I shrug, not knowing myself.

"What exactly would they be doing?" I point out. "I mean, you and I were both brought here by his shadow, so he seems to have got the taking people to Neverland part pretty taken care of."

"He's looking for someone, remember?" Bae replies. "A boy, I think."

"I thought that was when he was looking for a Dreamer," I point out. "That was why he wanted me."

Bae shakes his head, giving me a look that says he's understood something.

"When Wendy came back," he says, excitedly. "She said that Pan didn't want her because she was a girl, and Pan wanted a boy. When the pirate betrayed me, and handed me over to Pan, the Lost Boys compared me with a drawing, and said that I wasn't the boy who Pan was looking for."

My eyes grow wide as I realize what he's saying.

"He's looking for someone," I say. "And that's why he's having me imagine the strange stuff. He has people searching for that person, and is using those objects to help find whoever he's after."

And if there is someone who Pan is after, that he's been searching for all of these years….

"Bae, do you see what this means?" I ask, standing up. "He's looking for someone, but has been doing it for centuries. You don't search that long for someone, unless they mean everything to you. Bae, Pan is after this person, which means he _needs_ him for something. And, if that's the case, this boy, whoever he is, he is Pan's weakness. We can beat Pan, and this boy is the key to doing it!"

For the first time in a very, very long time, I feel a dash of hope. I may not be able to leave, but I know Pan's weakness. I could beat him, and not have to break. Not have to worry about slipping.

"Jess," Bae says, standing up. "Jess, you're a genius."

"Tell me something I don't know," I reply sarcastically, wanting so badly to embrace my brother. But I can't. Because Pan has put the spell on us.

But not for long. If I can figure out how to beat him, how to bring him down, I won't have to be hurt by him ever again.

And if he's been searching for someone...he'll have to ask people who can look for him. People who can cross through realms easily.

"I'll be back," I say, an idea coming to me.

"Jess?" asks Bae, as I head to the cave's exit. "Where are you going?"

"To follow a hunch," I reply, rushing out.

I don't know how much time I have, but if I can get there fast, I may be able to make it. I quickly climb a tree, and start taking the ziplines out of the forest to a familiar cliff. Normally, I try to avoid this place. But, if I'm right...I need to know. I need to know if there is a way to beat Pan.

_This is where Hook and I met_, I think, a grim smile forcing its way onto my face. _And I jumped off a cliff. _

And Pan saved me. That's when I had realized that something was wrong. That he wanted me for something more than just a plaything.

This time, I don't resist the temptation to jump into the crystalline waters below me. I have been swimming enough to know that the mermaid's kiss still works. I just hope that they aren't too loyal to Pan. If he finds out that I'm onto him...I don't know what he'll do, but it will be bad.

I dive into the water, and with a practiced ease, swim down into the water, towards a cave. Pan was kind enough to tell me that is where they lived. Once, I might have been afraid to go near here, but if they kissed me because Pan ordered them to, I don't think they'll hurt me now.

As I swim into the mouth of the cave, I see the mermaids turn in surprise. They clearly weren't expecting me.

I tread the water to keep myself from floating up, but stay at the mouth, just in case I need to leave quickly.

One of the mermaids, with a silver tail, swims up to me curiously. I think I recognize her as one of the ones that was there when they kissed me.

"Toy?" she asks, hesitantly. "What brings you here?"

I feel a spike of annoyance at her name for me. I forgot they call me that.

"We heard that you had given in to Pan," says another, from the side of the cave. "But, we ourselves wonder if it is true. You do have the stubbornness of a pig, toy."

Okay, I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult. Pigs aren't exactly the most flattering animals.

"What is going on between Pan and I doesn't matter," I say, bubbles coming out of my mouth. I know they understand me, so I don't think too much about it.

"Does it?" asks a mermaid in heavy jewelry, right beside me. "From what we have heard, you do not trust Pan anymore than you trust your own father."

I immediately forget why I came here. I forget about everything in my shock. That's not possible. Only the Shadow knows about that. Not even Pan knows that I know the truth about him, and that I compared him with my father. How could these fish-fingers possibly know about that?

"How-" I start, looking at the mermaids, a mix of amazement and incredulity stirring inside me.

"We weren't always following Pan," replies the silver tailed one, giving me a knowing look. "The Guardian of Neverland would allow us to come and go into the island as we pleased, so long as we did not harm the children who visited. But, when Pan came, the Guardian disappeared. Things changed."

She meets my eyes, and for the first time, I see a glimpse of pain behind her calm demeanor. I see it reflected in her sisters' faces, for a brief second.

What did Pan do to them? I know these girls, they are strong. What could have Pan done to them that would make them willing to submit? I mean, when they kissed me, they were alright with their sister dying because Pan stabbed her. Whatever it was...he was willing to give up his own son to become young. He's spent centuries searching for one boy. I don't know what he did, but I believe what he did was no better than what he's done for so long.

"But, you have seen The Shadow?" I ask, turning my thoughts aside. As badly as I want to know, I think the story should be there's to tell to me, not for me to ask of them.

The silver tailed one nods.

"He has visited us occasionally," she explains. "And he has spoken often of you. He and the island have apparently deemed you worthy of his protection. You should be honored."

I shrug, which isn't easy when I'm treading water to keep from floating up.

"He looked after me for many years," I reply. "He's the reason that Pan never found me for so long."

"And that is the problem," the mermaid says, her voice almost...sorrowful. "You know Pan, Toy. The longer you hide, the longer you resist, the more thrill he finds with breaking you. The Shadow kept you out of his reach for so long, that breaking you no longer became a passing activity for Pan. It became an obsession. Even now, he suspects you haven't broken yet, and he is glad, because he believes the game is still on."

I blink, unsure of how to react. The first time I met the mermaids, they tried to drown me. The second time, they told me I may as well give in. That there was no hope for me. Now, they're acting as if they are sorry for me.

_Are they playing me? Or were they playing me when they kissed me and said that there was no hope?_

"Enough of that, though," says one of the mermaids, wearing a necklace of what looks like clam shells. "You came here for a reason, Toy, did you not?"

I blink, bringing myself back to the reason I came.

"Yes," I reply, shaking my head. "Sorry. I actually have a question for you."

"Ask," replies a blonde mermaid, combing her hair with...a fork. "We cannot deny anything to Pan's toy."

_I'm not...no, I'm not going to blow over at them. Not right now. This takes priority. _

"Pan," I say. "I know he's looking for someone. A boy, I think. I know mermaids can travel between realms, so I'm guessing that's why he keeps you around. Do you know who he's looking for and why?"

I'm not sure what I'm expecting as a reaction. But the mermaids weren't expecting the question, either. They immediately stir, murmuring among themselves, giving each other significant glances.

"How do you know this?" asks the silver tailed mermaid. "Pan would not tell you until he was sure you are his…"

"I figured it out," I reply, quickly, without elaborating. I don't want to risk telling them about Bae, just in case.

"But, why is Pan searching for this boy?"

The mermaids look at each other, unsure of how to answer me.  
_Just tell me. I need to know. I need to know how to beat him. I need to know his weakness. _

"We cannot say," the silver tailed mermaid says, finally. "Pan has sworn us to secrecy. Even if we wanted to, we could not say."

I feel my heart sink. That wasn't the answer I wanted.

"You can't?" I ask. "Not even-"

"Toy, listen," the mermaid says, swimming up to me, and grabbing my arm. I get the sudden sense of urgency inside of her, and I immediately listen.

"We. Cannot. Help you," she says, firmly. "Pan has killed many of our sisters for reasons less than trying to drown you. The magic he has used, the things he has done to us has cost us far too much. If we want to even _think_ about living to return to our home of Atlantica for good, we must obey him."

"How is he keeping you here?" I ask. "You're mermaids! You can travel between realms-"

"So can shadows," replies the mermaid, sharply. "And even fish have shadows. I'm sorry, Toy, but if you and your friend in the cave were threatened with your lives, would you risk your life to help us escape?"

I freeze.

"Wait," I whisper. "What did you say? About my friend in the cave?"

The mermaid's face shows confusion, but I can almost hear my heart pounding in my ears.

_Oh, God, no. Please don't let her have said what I think she just said. _

"Your friend in the cave," replies the mermaid, slowly. "Pan knows you have been visiting him. That's why he's convinced you haven't broken yet. He told us yesterday that he was going to do something about it tonight, but…"

_Oh no. He knows about Bae. He knows about Bae!_

I immediately pull out of her grasp, panic bursting through me.

"I have to go," I say, turning, and starting to swim back towards the surface.

If I can make it in time, I might be able to save him. I can get him out.

_Oh, Bae, why was I so stupid to put you in danger like this? _

"Toy, wait," cries the mermaid, grabbing my arm.

I have to stop myself from drawing my knife and slashing at her arm.

"Let go of me!" I shout, trying to pull out of her grip.

"Just listen!" she insists. "Whatever game you're playing, stop. The more you play, the more you entice Pan. The more you entice him, the more his obsession grows. He is no longer looking to just break you. He wants to be able to own and control you completely. Whatever you do, do not play with him."

_I don't care. I don't care that I may break. I don't care about his obsession with me. I knew that. I've always known that._

But Bae is in danger. I need to find him, now, before Pan gets to him.

I yank my arm out of her grip, and swim as fast as I can to the surface of the water. As soon as break into the open air, I swim as fast as possible to the shore, adrenaline pushing me forward with every stroke.

When I reach the shore, I don't even bother trying to find a tree with a zipline. I rush to another tree, and imagine a new line, leading as close to the cave as possible.

_I have to get to the cave. I have to warn him before Pan catches him. I have to…_

_God, I was so stupid, thinking I could hide Bae from Pan!_

"Come on," I mutter, as I fly through the forest on the zipline. "Come on, faster."

Maybe my powers are listening, because I seem to go faster through the forest with my words.

Just get to the cave. Get to the cave, and get him out. Doesn't matter what happens next, just get him out.

It seems to take far too long to reach the cave. Part of me wonders if Pan is involved, slowing me down, but I don't think his powers extend that far. Still, as soon as it's in view, I start shouting Bae's name, and drop down, not even bothering to go all the way to the platform that would help be get down safer.

_My safety doesn't matter. Bae's does, and he's in danger. Why didn't I make sure, beyond a doubt that Pan didn't know? I am such an idiot. _

I land on the ground, and dive into the cave, still hoping for a response.

Nothing. I hear _nothing! _

"Bae!" I shout, hoping, praying for an answer. "Bae, where are you!"

Again, silence.

I enter the cave, and stand, looking desperately around for my brother. Instead, all I see is the cave in ruins. The tables are upturned, pots cracked and broken, the blankets of his alcove torn to shreds. The only thing that's unbroken is Bae's coconut candle.

_I'm too late. Damn it, I'm too late!_

"No!" I shout, slamming my fist into the wall. "Don't do this to me. Not now, not when we've figured out how to beat him."

For a moment, I want to take my anger out on the objects around me, but they are already destroyed. So, instead, I let out a scream of frustration, and it's all I can do to not rip out chunks of my hair.

_Calm down_, I tell myself. _Shouting and screaming isn't going to help him. _

I clench my hands into fists so hard, I can feel blood coming out, but I take my own advice. I take a deep breath, and let it out. Pan has Bae. That much I know.

The mermaids said that Pan was planning to take care of Bae tonight, and they've already taken him. But this is Pan, and he's doing it to break me. He will want to make a show of it, and he'll want me to see. I don't know how much I'll be able to do, but at least I'll be able to know where they've taken him. After that, I can figure out a way to get him out.

I take another deep breath, and get ready to leave. I pause for a second, and collect the coconut candle. It seems wrong to leave something that is whole among all the wreckage. Imagining a small pouch, I put in the candle, and leave the cave, as fast as possible.

I can't waste anymore time. Not with Bae's life on the line.

I take my ziplines back to the cave, but it all seems too slow.

_Bae, why didn't I leave with you when you asked me too? Why did I leave you in there first place? How could I ever think that Pan wouldn't go back on his word, and drag you back into this. _

As I get closer to camp, I can feel the darkness of Pan writhing, as if the extra weight he put in when he set the barriers to my soul are twisting with him. Except, the movement isn't angry. It's almost gleeful. Because that is how Pan feels at this moment.

He knows that he has the one person I value most, and he knows that he is hurting me by holding him hostage. And this isn't the first time he felt it. When he tried to bring Abby into Neverland, he knew that he was hurting me then. This is him doing it to me again.

I land on the outskirts of camp, and I can hear the sounds of the Lost Boys celebrating. I have a bad feeling that I know why.

I try to go into camp as casually as possible, but every part of me tells me to run into camp, find my brother and get him out before Pan can hurt him anymore. But, no. I have to go slow. I can't let Pan know how much he is hurting me by hurting Bae. The boys are all gathered around the fire, shouting, and jeering at something-or someone-in the middle of the crowd. As I get closer, I can tell they're flinging things at the center. Old food, like stale bread and old fruit (_seriously, I thought that was only in movies_), rocks, and..._wait is that brown stuff mud, or...no, I don't want to know._

"There you are!"

I start at Felix's voice, as he comes to me from the side.

"We've been waiting for you, come on," he says, grabbing my hand, and pulling me through the crowd.

I don't know how much Felix can help me, but at the moment, I'm willing to try anything.

"Felix, what's going on?" I ask, as the Lost Boys clear a path before us.

"You'll see," replies Felix, as he keeps pulling me further into the crowd, until we have reached the front.

That isn't exactly encouraging. What I see in front of me isn't either.

In the center of the crowd, Bae is tied to a pole, blindfolded and gagged. What I can see of his face is bruised, bloodied, and covered with the stuff the boys have been throwing at him. His clothes are torn as badly as his blankets back in the cave, and his feet are bare. Still, Bae seems to be holding his head up high, as if he refuses to let Pan scare him, or back down.

I want to run forward and cut him loose, and I almost do, before Felix's grip on my arm becomes much more tighter. One look at his face tells me that he's not letting me go to my brother's aid.

"Pan," Felix calls. "She's back!"

I look around, my sixth sense telling me that Pan is close, but I don't see him anywhere near here.

"Excellent," says a voice from above us.

A silence falls over everyone, as Pan floats down from the sky above us, and lands lightly beside Bae. _He never can resist a grand entrance, can he? _

Pan looks out at all of us, but his gaze lands on me specifically for a moment. He gives me a knowing look, and I can tell he is just enjoying this.

_I hate him. No, hate isn't a strong enough word. I want him to die slowly and as painfully as possible. _

"My brothers," says Pan, once he is sure he's gotten the complete attention of the Lost Boys.

"And sister," he adds, as an afterthought.

I clench my teeth tightly to resist from calling out at him.

_I'm not his sister. I never will be his sister. Not after this, not after what he is doing to Bae. _

"You no doubt remember," Pan continues, "that horrible night when we lost so many of our boys, our brothers, to the indians who 'shared' the island with us. You have not yet forgotten how much blood was spilt that night, how much pain we went through as so many of our brothers fell in battle."

The Lost Boys nod around me, and I can almost feel the grief and anger among them.

"All those lives lost," says Pan. "And only because of one person. A traitor, who turned against us, after we gave him food, shelter, and friendship."

Bae still has yet to show any reaction, but I think he would probably be clenching his fists if they weren't tied.

"And now," continues Pan. "This same traitor has not only lived on our island, without our permission, but has tried to take something else from us. For years, he kept our beloved sister, our Vin, from us."

At this, he gestures at me with a sweeping arm, and I can feel the eyes of every Lost Boy turning to me. But I don't react to them. I only glare at Pan, hoping that my look will be enough to tell him how much I wish I could kill him here and now.

"He kept our sister from us," Pan goes on, as if he doesn't notice my look. "And when we got her back, he tried to kill me to take her away from us, again. And even now, he has tried to draw her away with us, luring her away from our camp, seducing her into joining her in his vendetta against us."

I can't hold back any longer. Seducing me? Bae never did anything like that! And Pan knows it. He knows that I've never truly been Vin, and he's punishing me by taking the person I care about the most, and turning our relationship into something as sick as him. And worse, he's making me a victim. As if I couldn't help being friends with Bae. For choosing him over the Lost Boys, when he was the only one who took care of me after I drank the water.

"Liar!" I shout, my rage taking control of me. "You're a goddamned liar!"

Pan gives me a pained look, but his eyes glint at getting such a reaction out of me.

"Vin, please," he says, as if he doesn't want to hurt me.

Ha! He's been hurting me from day one, and has taken pleasure in it!

"You bastard!" I scream, trying to rush forward, but Felix holds me back tightly. "You goddamned, lying son of a bi-"

Before I can finish, Felix wraps a hand over my mouth, and cuts me off. As I twist around, I'm aware that the boys are shouting around me. Not at me or Pan though, but at Bae. Insults, and names more colorful than I could ever come up with, hurling things at him again. Their anger is almost touchable, it's so powerful.

For me. They are angry at Bae, because of me. The one who has been lying to them to protect Bae. They are taking out their anger on the boy who only ever tried to do the right thing. Just as I've done.

Pan finally holds up his hand for silence, and it immediately ceases, as if someone pressed a mute button over us. The only sound is my struggling against Felix, who is still holding on. Pan watches me struggle for a moment, giving me a look that almost looks like pity.

"But tomorrow, it all ends," Pan says, finally looking away from me. "Tomorrow, he will not hurt us, or our dear sister ever again."

He pauses for effect, and the anticipation is so thick, I swear I could cut it with one of my knives.

Pan looks back at me, and deliberately meets my eyes. I somehow know his next words are specifically meant for me.

_It all ends...no...no he wouldn't... not Bae…_

"Tomorrow at dawn," Pan says, my heart pounding harder with every word. "We will end this traitor against us, once and for all. Tomorrow…"

He again pauses for effect, and grabs Bae by his hair, making my brother gasp in pain. But it's his next words that make my heart stop.

"Tomorrow, Baelfire dies at dawn!"

* * *

**A/N: **duh-Duh-**DUUUNNHH!**

I am so sorry for the cliff hanger, by the way. I was having so much trouble figuring out where to end this chapter, and this is where it came up. Sorry for the suspense, but it seemed the best place to end it without the chapter going overboard. Plus, I'm evil and enjoy leaving y'all at the cliff hangers (MWAH-HA-HA!).

But, seriously y'all...EIGHTEEN REVIEWS FOR ONE CHAPTER?! Seriously?! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Y'all are amazing; every review makes me feel like a million bucks! Thank you so much, y'all. I am so glad you are enjoying the story!

Anyway, a special thanks to **Brittany Hawke, LunaEvanna Longbottom, sherlaylay, SkyeWard MusicLover, . , **and **Unstoppably-demonic** for putting this story on alert, and to **Brittany Hawke, LunaEvanna Longbottom, sherlaylay, Heart of Bruce, Sparrow2099, **and **squirrel101** for favoriting it.

And-here comes the big list-**sarah0406, The Wolf Who Writes, scorpiongirl92, songwriter16, meguhanu, Taeniaea, LunaEvanna Longbottom, SkyeWard MusicLover, ** . , kksambo, Sparrow2099, ****twentyfour24, The white angel, and all the lovely guests who reviewed! Kudos to the special guest who told me where the cuff was from. And, of course, a special thanks to my betas, especially **Uncommon fairy** who helped me out of a severe writer's block by suggesting Jess visiting the mermaids!**  
**

If I said it once, I will say it again: y'all are absolutely incredible! Thanks so much for your support!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Feedback on the mermaids, and speculations about what's going to happen next are especially appreciated! **:)**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: No, i don't OUAT. So, ha****! I can't be blamed for what happened in the mid-season finale**!

* * *

For a second, I can't move, blink, or breathe. For a second, it's as if I've fallen asleep, and I'm back at the Enchanted Forest, frozen. For a second, my entire world stops.

_Baelfire...dies...at dawn._

My brother, the boy who gave me shelter when I needed it the most, who stood up to Pan when I was under the music's spell. The boy who has made sure I never forget who I am. Dies.

_No. No, this isn't happening. It can't be happening. Pan wants to break me, but he wouldn't go this far. Not so far that he'd kill Bae._

Around me, the Lost Boys are cheering, as if Bae dying is the best thing that could ever happen. I can only stare at Pan, as he holds my brother, torn between wanting to run from all of this, and wanting to stay for Bae.

Pan lets go of Bae, and gives me a look I can only interpret as a triumphant smirk as he reads my expression.

_Oh my God. The bastard thinks he's won. He thinks he's broken me by planning to kill Bae._

I don't think at all as I let my anger flow out of me. I imagine Pan flying back, away from my brother. I can practically feel the force of my magic leaving me. Suddenly, Pan is falling through the air, and onto the ground. He lands hard, and all the Lost Boys stop cheering, as they realize what just happened. What I just did. Pan stirs, and gets up, but his bravado is gone. Still, his smirk remains.

I remember the mermaid's words. The more I fight, the more he wants to break me.

_Well, he wants a fight? I'll give him one. He is not killing Bae!_

Felix is still so surprised, I am able to easily pry myself free. I run at Pan, not caring that I'm unarmed, or that he has the boys at his beck and call. This is Bae. And he is only killing Bae because he wants to hurt me. I am not letting happen. I wouldn't let him have Abby, and he's not having Bae either.

I throw myself on top of him, and punch him in the stomach, and I'm almost pleased at the sharp gasp he gives.

"I came to you for _this_?" I shout at the top of my lungs, before throwing another punch, this time to the face. Pain erupts in my fist, but I don't care. "So, that you could _kill_ him?"

Before I can do anything else, Felix grabs me from behind and pulls me away. Pan gets up, but I can tell it isn't easy. I don't bother struggling against Felix, I know he's going to hold on to me. But if Pan thinks I'm going to be silent, he has another thing coming. I know Bae can hear me, and maybe by letting him hear me, he'll know I'm not abandoning him. Not yet.

"We had a deal!" I shout. "I stay, and he wouldn't be hurt. That was the deal, you lying bastard!"

The other boys are watching me, and I can tell they're waiting for Pan to end it. To explain why I'm wrong. But there's nothing he can say. He is breaking the deal that we made. I never said I would not see Bae again, so I technically never broke it, but the deal was that he would not be hurt. Pan is breaking our deal.

Pan walks over to me, and I want so badly to hit him again. To make him hurt as badly as he is hurting me. If it weren't for Felix, I'd probably punching him right now. But I can't do anything. I'm as helpless as Bae is at the moment. Because as long as he has Bae, and is threatening him, I can do absolutely nothing. And I can tell Pan is loving it. I can see it in his eyes. He enjoys that he is able to stop me from hurting him, from doing anything. Once again, he has control over me, just like he did with the music.

"I'm only doing what is best for you, Vin," says Pan in a pained voice. He reaches out, and gently touches my face, and I have to resist the urge to vomit. "That's all we are trying to do. Look out for you. We can't let him hurt you, or us, anymore, Vin."

He is acting so kind, so concerned, I would almost believe it if I didn't know what he was, and what he'll do to get what he wants. He gave up his own son for youth. He will lie through his teeth, and convince the boys that he is doing what is for the best. Just to get to me.

I jerk myself away from his hand, and I glare daggers at him.

"We both know that's not true," I snap. "We both know the real reason you're doing this. You know that I haven't broken yet, and that he has been helping me get through it. But I did everything you've asked me to. I threw your knives, I made your magical objects. I even obeyed your stupid cursing rule. This is just you trying to hurt me through him, you son of a bitch!"

Pan sighs, and I can tell he's putting on the act for the boys. If it was just us alone, he would have dropped the act, smirked, and taunted me on how I can do nothing.

"Don't you see what he's doing, Vin?" he asks. "He's corrupting you, turning you against us. He's convinced you that I'm trying to hurt you when I'm not. He's-"

"He's done nothing, and you know it!" I shout, cutting him off. "I was the one who snuck out to join him. I was the one putting up the fight. You want to hurt someone for that, hurt me. But not him, he had nothing to do with it!"

Pan looks down, and gives out another sigh.

I can't believe it. He's turning himself into a misunderstood victim. Someone who is being treated unfairly, and who is no way at fault. What's more, he's turning me into a victim as well. A confused, brainwashed girl, who has been unknowingly led astray.

"I know you don't understand, Vin," he says, sadly. "But, in time you will see why we've had to do this. We only want you safe, and this is our only option."

With that he turns to Felix, a hard expression on his face, as if he doesn't want to do this, but must.

"Take her to the younger ones' place," he orders Felix. "Make sure it's empty, and make sure she _stays_ there until this is over. The rest of you, take away our prisoner, and lock him up until dawn."

Felix starts to drag me off, and for a brief second, Pan lets his act drop. For a second, I can see the grin on his face, as he knows that I can do nothing.

"You gain nothing from this, you motherless son of a bitch," I call, struggling a little against Felix. "You want to break me so badly, but the only way you'll ever break me is if you kill me."

Pan ignores the comment, and I can see the boys starting to take Bae away.

_No, not Bae. They're going to kill him. They're going to kill him!_

"No, Bae!" I shout, suddenly panicking.

If they take him away, I know I won't see him again. I won't be able to help him, I won't be able to do anything.

"Bae!" I shout again, trying to struggle out of Felix's grip. "Bae, I'm coming."

Bae stirs slightly at me calling him, and he shouts something incoherent through his gag. I start to twist like an eel, and Felix has to all but carry me into the tree where the younger boys sleep. He sets me down, and I immediately get up, and try to run out. To get back to my brother. To stop this before Pan hurts him again.

Felix grabs me by the shoulders, and grips me tightly when I struggle against him.

"Stop," he commands, but I ignore him, and try to twist out of his grip again.

"Stop!" he repeats, this time with a lot more force. "It's over, Vin. You can't change it. I know you want to, but you can't."

_Like hell, I can't. If he'd just let me, I could get my brother out of this mess right now. If he'd let me!_

I start to direct all my anger at Felix, this one barrier who stands between me and Bae's freedom.  
"Why are you letting him do this?" I demand. "He's going to kill him, and you're just okay with that? I thought you were my friend!"

Felix looks me in the eye, and I can't make out what he's thinking. It's almost a mixture of determination, anger, and small bit of stubbornness.

"I am," he replies. "More than that, Vin, I'm your brother. I know you care about Baelfire, but he will only lead you to pain and misery."

_That's a load of crap,_ I think angrily.

"Is that you talking or Pan?" I ask, challengingly. "Because I could have sworn he said the same thing to me three minutes ago."

I see a flash of hurt in Felix's eyes, but it passes as quickly as it came.

"It's not just you, Vin," he insists. "He has already to caused us to lose so many of our brothers, when he betrayed us to some stinking Indians!"

He finishes the sentence with such anger, that I'm taken aback for a moment. I did not realize how much he felt about Bae. And the Indians. The Indians who were all killed when Bae tried to save them.

"From what I hear, Pan was going to betray the Indians first," I argue. "Bae was only trying to save as many lives as he could. He didn't think the Indians would attack."

"He chose a bunch of filthy savages over us," snaps Felix, gripping my shoulders so tight, I can feel his nails digging into my skin. "We took him in, gave him shelter and food, and he betrayed us. He let so many of the people who looked after him die that night."

He doesn't understand. He just doesn't understand. Bae wasn't betraying them. He was didn't want to be on Neverland in the first place. He was being held prisoner, not sheltered.

"And he's regretted it ever since!" I shout, trying to make him get it. "And he wouldn't have run in the first place if Pan hadn't had him kidnapped, and taken from his family."

"He obviously hasn't regretted it enough," replies Felix, blatantly ignoring my last comment. "Because now he has been keeping you hidden from us for all those years, and even when you came back, he still would draw you away from us."

Again, I can't help but wonder if that is Felix talking or Pan.

"Why would you even care?" I ask. "You resented me for all those years because you thought I helped kill your brother-"

"But then I learned the truth," Felix snaps, before I can finish. "I learned the truth, and I realized that Pan was right: you really are our sister. The younger boys? They were miserable until you came back. If we lost you now, we would never get by."

_And how does he think I will feel if Pan kills Bae? If he thinks the boys won't get by without me, their sister, how does he expect me to get by without my best friend and brother?_

"Please, Felix," I say, pleadingly. "You know what it's like to lose a brother. Bae means as much to me as Sebastian did to you. If I lose him, if Pan kills him...you know what it will be like for me. Please, Felix, don't let him do it. Don't let him kill Bae. I'm begging you, _as your sister_, don't let Bae die."

For a fleeting moment, Felix pauses, and I hope that I've gotten through to him. That he sees it the way I do. But, then he blinks, and shakes his head. I feel my heart sink.

"You're right," he says. "You are my sister. And that's why we cannot let Baelfire live."

With that, he lets go of me, and pulls back. Before I can say or do anything, he leaves the tree, and slams the door behind him, leaving me in total darkness.

_No! I can't stay here. Not when my brother is in danger._

"Felix!" I call, trying to open the door. It remains closed. I pull on it, but it remains locked.

"Felix, let me out!" I shout, pounding on the door. "Let me out of here! Don't do this, Felix. Please, I'm begging you! Don't do this!"

There's no response. I try pushing on the door, hoping it will give way with the extra weight, but it does nothing.

_No. No, this can't be happening. He's going to kill Bae. He's going to kill Bae to hurt me. He's going to kill Bae._

I try to imagine another door, like I did when the night I left the younger boys behind. Nothing happens. I try again, and again, concentrating with all I can, but nothing happens. It's as if Pan is blocking my magic to prevent me from getting out. At this realization, I feel hysteria rising inside of me.

He's going to do it. He's going to kill Bae. He's locking me up, as if I'm back in my cage again, so that I can't rescue the person who needs me the most. I was never this helpless, even when Abby was in danger. Even then, I could do something. Now, I can't do anything. I can't save my best friend, I can't get out of here, I can't stop any of it from happening.

I give way to the hysteria, and let it loose. I don't know how long I pound against the walls of the tree and the door, begging to the others to not do this. How long I scream, and holler, raving and cursing Pan and every Lost Boy. How much I throw things across the tree, against the wall. Just random things, that I imagine, against the wall, even though I can't see a thing.

When it finally does end though, I'm still in the same position as before. I can't do anything. I can't help him, not while I'm trapped here. I'm just useless.

I slump down against the wall, defeated. As I do, I feel a sharp jab in my side. I look over, and feel the coconut candle I took from Bae's cave earlier. I forgot it was there.

_Lots of good it'll do now_, I think bitterly.

_Still, I could use some light in here._

With a small sigh, I pull the top off the coconut, and imagine a flame on the candle. A small flame lights it, and I set it down beside me, so that it casts my shadow against the wall of the tree.

I want to cry, but I know I shouldn't. Crying won't help Bae.

So, what can I do? Pan has me locked in here. He has all the Lost Boys convinced that keeping me locked up in here is for my own good, so they won't let me out. Then, even if I did find a way, how would I get Bae out of this? Why did I even bring him into this in the first place?

_I should have stayed in the cave. I should never have allowed myself to give into Pan's threats, and pretended to be Vin. The Shadow would have protected us, and Bae and I wouldn't have that shock curse over us. And Bae would not be threatened again. Not because of me._

It is because of me, I think miserably. Pan will kill Bae tomorrow, because of me. His blood will be on my hands, because I was too damn stupid to believe Pan would keep our deal. I may as well have killed him myself.

_No. I can't think like that. If I do, then Pan wins. He'll kill Bae, and then I'll be broken. That's been his plan all along. Using Bae against me to break me, just as he used Abby against me._

But, what can I do? I'm sort of trapped here.

I sigh, and pick up the candle, absently putting the top over it. The light immediately goes out, and is replaced with small star-like lights on the ceiling. Absently, I pull it off, and my shadow reappears on the wall in front of me. Almost mechanically, I put the top back on, and my shadow vanishes, replaced by the stars. I open it up again, and my shadow reappears.

It's like I'm putting my shadow in its own cage. It can't get out, but can see glimpses of freedom. And, once it's let out, it will be willing to do anything to not go back into it. I know the feeling. That was me when Pan put me in my cage. I wonder if that's what its going to be like when the barriers to my soul are broken.

_I guess all of me has a cage now, I think, leaning my head against the wall. Me, my soul, even my shadow._

_Wait…_

I sit up, a small idea blossoming inside of me. I put the top back on the coconut, trapping my shadow. I open it again, and it reappears instantly.

Locked away, it will do anything for freedom...a cage for a shadow…

_That's it!_

I stand up, eagerly, and imagine the changes to the candle, so that it will suit my needs. If I can just draw Pan's shadow out...yes, this could work…I could save Bae. I feel a small thread of hope, all from one little candle.

_Now, all I need is to get out of here, and this could work._

Almost on cue, I hear the door open, and I look to see Felix coming in, looking somber. I feel that thread of hope grow even more, but I say nothing. Instead, I assume an angry look, and glare distastefully at him.

"What do you want?" I ask, keeping my voice from giving away too much. "Come to gloat?"

Felix sighs, and shakes his head.

"Come with me," he says.

_What is he doing? I thought Pan said for me to stay here? Is he really defying Pan for me?_

"Why?" I ask.

"You'll see when you get there," replies Felix evenly. "Now, are you coming or not?"

This could be it. This could be my opportunity to save Bae. If I can get out of here, then find Bae, I can use the candle, and get him out. But I can't seem too eager. If I do, if I give it all away, then they will definitely kill Bae.

I blow out the candle, and casually put it back in it's pouch, all the while acting unsure and cautious to Felix. I can't let him know what I've got planned.

"Alright," I say, stepping out of the tree with him.

Felix doesn't say a word, but leads me away from camp. I get the feeling that I know where he's leading me, but I don't say a word. We walk in silence for a little while, before we arrive at a tree, which has two Lost Boys are guarding. Somehow I know that this is where my brother is. This is where Bae is.

Felix nods to the boys, and they step aside. Felix opens the door for me, and I'm pretty sure my heart is thumping way too loud.

"Felix, is this-" I start, wanting to confirm that this is where Bae is being kept.

"You have five minutes," says Felix, cutting me off. "If you stay longer than that, I will drag you out, and back to the younger ones' place."

I nod, trying my hardest not to let the eagerness of my plan show. I can get him out. I can save him. Five minutes? That's plenty of time.

As I'm about to duck in, Felix reaches out and stops me.

"Vin," he says warningly. "Pan was against this from the start. He is only allowing this because I asked him to let you see Baelfire. And I only asked you because I owe you for staying with my brother. If you do anything, if you try to help him escape, both of you will suffer the consequences."

_Like that will happen! Of course I'm going to help him escape, screw the consequences._

"I understand," I reply, forcing a small smile on my face. "Thank you."

Felix nods, and allows me to go in.

I almost stop at the sight in front of me. Bae is chained to a tree, with two manacles attached at his wrists. His blindfold and gag are gone, but in the small shaft of moonlight that enters the tree, I can see he is bruised and bloody, just as he was the night he was tortured. Before, when Pan had him on display, he was holding his head high. Now, he is slumped against the tree wall, like I was moments ago.

My brother. One of my first friends in Neverland. The one who only wanted to escape magic, and ended up being brought to an island full of it. The one who was willing to risk his own safety, to save the indians. The boy who gave a naive girl shelter when she had no idea what she was doing, or how she was going to escape Neverland. This is what he has come to.

_Because of me. Pan will kill him, because of me. Unless, I get him out now._

"Bae?" I ask, the word almost catching in my throat.

Bae stirs at my voice, and lifts his head.

"Jess?" he asks, his voice hoarse. "What are you doing here?"

I want to reach out, touch him, let him know it will all be alright. That I'm going to take care of him, just as he has taken care of me all these years.

But, there's no time for that. Even if I do, we'll only be shocked, and he'll be in more pain. No, right now, I need to get him out of here while I have the chance.

"What do you think?" I ask, bending over him, inspecting his manacles.

I bite my lip at the lock. Six-pin lock. I haven't mastered those yet, but with luck…

"Alright, hold still," I say, imagining the set of lockpicks I've been using. "I'm going to need to concentrate."

Bae does exactly as I say, remaining in complete silence while I focus on picking the lock on his manacles. One pin down...two...three...four...

"How are you even doing that?" asks Bae, as I take down another one.

"It's all...in...the...tumblers," I reply slowly, working on the last one. With the last word, the manacle opens with a click.

I shoot Bae a grin, as he lowers his freed wrist and inspects it while I move onto the other wrist.

"So, what's the plan?" he asks.

"You'll think I'm crazy," I reply, as I get the next pin down.

"I'm scheduled to die at dawn," Bae points out. "I think we need something crazy if we're going to get out of this."

_He has a point. Still, I don't think he means crazy to this degree. Only one way to find out, I guess._

I open his second manacle, and he rubs his wrists, waiting for me to explain.

"We're going to capture Pan's shadow," I explain, waiting for the bomb to drop.

"What?" Bae all but shouts.

Instinctively, I raise my hand to his mouth, cutting him off before he gives us away with his loudmouth. Naturally, as soon as my hand makes contact with his skin, we're both shocked, and have to pull away from each other. However, he seems to understand why we need silence, and we both wait for a minute to see if the guards realize something's up. When nothing happens, Bae turns to me with wide eyes.

"Are you crazy?" he asks.

_Well, guess that answers that question._

"A little bit," I reply, shrugging.

Bae gives me a look that tells me that this isn't the time for jokes. Ah, well it was worth a shot.

"Listen," I say. "I've got something that can trap it. If we can draw it out, I can get it, and force it to take you to safety."

Bae pauses, looking doubtful, and I think I hear one of the boys coughing outside. Has time run out? Are my precious five minutes already gone?

_Please, be okay with this Bae. Please, just trust me._

"Alright," Bae finally says. "This is probably the stupidest thing we've done, but alright."

"Oh, come on," I say, attempting at humor again. "You've broken into Pan's camp _twice_ to rescue me. We can't cut it much closer than that."

Bae gives me a look, and the barest hint of a smile.

_There we go! There's a smile._

"So, how are we going to get it to come to us, and how are we going to get out of here?" I ask, looking at him. "We're a little away from camp, but there are three outside, and I don't think I can take them down."

Bae's eyes light up, and I can tell he has an idea.

"What if we don't?" he asks. "What if we get them to stand down without them attacking us?"

I nod. The idea does have merit, and I don't want to hurt anyone, anyway. But, I don't think Felix is going to allow it to happen. Anyway, they're probably prepared to fight, just in case I didn't listen to his warning.

"How are we going to do that?" I ask.

"Think about it, Jess," Bae says. "Pan has them convinced that I've been corrupting you to turn against them. Say, I manipulated you into freeing me, but you told me there was no way to get past the guards, so I found a way to get around them…"

"...By doing exactly what they would think you would do, and taking me hostage?" I guess.

Bae nods, with a grin. It is insane, and thought up just on the spot. Just as he and I like it. I toss him one of my knives, and turn around for him. He grabs my matted hair, which doesn't shock him, and jerks it back, positioning the knife against my throat. For safety's sake, I make the knife blunt, so he can press it against my neck without hurting me.

"Make it convincing," Bae hisses, and I nod.

I assume an expression of what I hope is convincing terror and betrayal, and let out a scream. Bae yanks my hair, jerking my head back, pressing the knife harder against my neck, as the two guards and Felix rush in, weapons poised to strike. They stop dead in their tracks the moment they see me and Bae.

Both of the guards look to Felix, unsure of what to do. I let out a small whimper, as Felix looks from me to Bae.

"Let. Her. Go," he says, his voice low and dangerous.

"I will," replies Bae, coolly. "Eventually. Let me walk out of here, and she goes free."

Felix gives Bae a look of complete loathing. If the situation wasn't so desperate, I'd be impressed with how much he cares.

"Do you really think Pan will let you go?" asks Felix. "Do you think he'll let you go free, after you threaten to hurt Vin?"

"Pan can do what he wants, if he can find me," Bae replies, evenly.

_Wow, he's good at this._ If we hadn't set this up only minutes ago, I'd be convinced.

"I trusted you," I whisper, throwing in my bit. "You said that-"

"I said what I needed to get out of here," snaps Bae, cutting me off. "You were just stupid enough to believe me."

I let out another whimper, and make a choked sound, as if I'm sobbing.

"Your choice," says Bae, turning back to Felix. "I walk free, and she lives, or you take me captive, and I slit her throat. I don't think Pan would like it if I killed his sister, even if I was caught in the process."

Felix glares at him, and I can tell he wants so badly to hit Bae over the head with his club.

"Felix," I whisper, in a small, helpless voice. "Not for me. Please."

Felix looks away from Bae to me. I can see by the look in his eyes that he's afraid for me. Good. That means we've got him convinced.

"To think you let yourself get tortured to keep her safe," Felix mutters. "Only to threaten her now."

_Crap, I hadn't thought about...wait a second. He knew? He knew about Bae getting tortured? I had always assumed Pan was the only one involved, but Felix had a hand in hurting my brother? Of almost killing him?_

If it weren't for the act, I would go and...I'm not sure what I would do, but I'd make sure Felix wouldn't like it.

"I did what I had to to get her loyalty," Bae replies. "I didn't think she was going to go back to you and Pan, just because I got a few cuts."

"Lying bastard," I mutter, not sure if I'm talking about Felix, or acting for Bae.

Bae simply presses the blade harder against my throat, and I let out a small cry of fear.

_Alright, you know what? Screw safety, we're making this convincing._

I imagine the knife to sharpen, but just enough to cut me slightly. I feel a small drop of blood run down my neck, and I can almost feel Felix's eyes follow it.

"Alright!" snaps Felix. "We'll do it. Just let her go."

I feel a small thrill of hope. Bae is out, but we'll still need Pan's shadow for this to work.

"I will," Bae replies. "But not right now. I have no reason to believe you won't hurt me if she's safe."

Felix's eyes flash with hate, and the guards look just as anger.

"Walk," Bae orders, pushing forward on me.

I start to, which isn't easy with a knife at my throat.

"F-Felix," I stammer as if between sobs, as Bae and I start to leave the tree. "T-Tell P-Pan to s-send the one who f-first brought me to N-Neverland. Oh, God!"

I don't see the look on Felix's face, so I don't know if the message came through. I just hope it wasn't too cryptic.

Bae doesn't say a word until we're out of the tree, and far enough away that they can't see or hear us. I'm sure Felix is rushing at top speed to tell Pan that I'm Bae's hostage, but that doesn't buy us much time.

"What now?" asks Bae, dropping the knife, and handing it back to me.

I hear a shout, not too far away, and I get the feeling Pan's shadow won't be the only one following us.

"Run," I reply, and without hesitation, Bae and I take off.

Even though we're still not out of danger, even though we still need Pan's shadow, I still can't hold back a smile. Bae and I on the run, dodging Lost Boys, fighting for our lives. It's just like old times.

I'm not sure how far we get before a familiar twisted feeling washes over me, as I sense Pan's shadow approaching. The guy didn't waste any time, that's for sure.

"Bae, this is it," I say, coming to a halt. I immediately grab the candle from its pouch, and open it.

"Is that-" Bae starts, recognizing the candle. Before he can finish, though, something swoops down and pins him against the tree. I don't even need my sixth sense to know what it is. I won't forget Pan's shadow in a million years.

_Now,_ I tell myself. _Light it now!_

"Hey, glow-eyes!" I shout, knowing it can understand me. "Let him go!"

It turns, just as I imagine the candle lit. It only stares at the flame for a split second, and I feel my heart stop. _Did it not work? Did I do something wrong?_

Suddenly, it starts struggling, as if resisting some unseen force. It drops Bae, and is suddenly pulled back, as if being sucked away towards the candle. Without any warning, it is sucked into the flame, and I put the top on, trapping it inside.

I can feel it's anger and fear from within the candle, and I can't help but smirk. I wonder if Pan can share emotions with his shadow. If he can feel what his shadow feels at this exact second.

_If you can, Pan, then this is what it's like, to be locked in a cage. You can't do anything, and you don't know when you're going to get out. And you will do anything to escape._

Bae struggles to his feet, and I run over to him, looking him over for anything broken or sprained. But, thankfully, he's alright. He's survived worse, to be sure. He looks down at the candle, realizing what's inside, and what it means.

"You did it," he says, as if he can't believe it.

I want to reply sarcastically about his faith in me, but it has been too long and tiring tonight.

"Yeah," I reply, with a small smile. "Yeah, I did it."

For a second, Bae and I just wait, catching our breaths. Just one small second of peace. But it passes, and Bae speaks up again.

"So, now what?" he asks.

I look from him, to the candle, and its prisoner within.

"This thing is going to take you to safety," I reply, holding up the candle.

Bae gives me a confused look, and I grin, before turning to the candle. Even though it isn't Pan, it still feels good to have power over the thing that first took me away from my sister, from the life I knew. That brought me to Pan when he made me drink the water.

"Alright then," I say, putting the coconut up to my mouth, so the shadow can understand what I'm saying.

"I know you don't like it in there. Trust me, I get it. Try spending three days locked up in cage, some time. But, I'm not going to be that cruel. So, here's what's going to happen: first of all, you won't tell Pan what has happened tonight. You do, and you'll be sucked back into the candle. And this time, I won't let you out, but I'll throw you into a fire-pit, and barbecue you."

The shadow stirs from inside, and I can tell it's not happy about the arrangement.

_Well, deal with it. I wasn't happy about being taken away from Abby in the first place, and now I'm stuck on Neverland forever._

"Next," I say, not willing to waste time. "You're going to take Bae, and you're…"

I trail off, as I look at my brother again. His bruised and bloody face. I suddenly remember how he was when Pan tortured him to find me. He almost died for me. And Pan would have killed him again tonight to break me. I remember when he brought me back to the cave when I almost drowned. How he almost had his shadow ripped out.

He has been chased down, sometimes for me, sometimes as revenge for the Indians. He hasn't done anything, but Pan has made the Lost Boys believe he has. Even if I tell Pan's shadow to take him to safety, it will only be temporary. Pan will never stop looking for him, just so that he can break me. No matter where he goes on Neverland, no matter where he hides, Pan will always look for him, and hunt him.

I now realize what I need to do. What I should have done the moment I realized how far Pan would hurt him to get at me.

"You're going to take Bae out of Neverland, and back to the Land Without Magic," I say.

Bae's eyes widen as he looks at me.

"What?" he asks, stepping in front of me. "Jess, no."

I don't want to do it. I have already lost so many people here. I have lost Abby, Hook. Bae is the one that was there when I needed him. Who took care of me when I was alone. But I swore to him I'd get him off Neverland, and that is what I'm going to do. It is like it was with Abby. I could abandon him to be chased down, or help him go free. I don't know why I didn't see it a long time ago.

"Bae, you know he won't stop," I say, looking at him, meeting his eyes. "He was going to kill you tonight, just because we kept seeing each other. He tortured you to get to me. Whether to break me, or to get back at you, he won't stop hunting you until you're dead."

Bae looks at me, and all I can think about is that stubborn kid I had to punch to draw the Lost Boys away from his cave.

"Jess, if I go, Pan-"

"Won't kill me," I finish for him. "He needs me for something, remember?"

"But-," he starts, still trying to protest.

"Bae!" I interject, cutting him off. "Don't you see it? I'm terrified. You are the only person who has kept me from truly giving in for all these years. Without you, I would have either broken, or killed myself. But, you are my brother. I will take whatever comes next, if it means that I'm able to save you."

"You shouldn't have too," Bae points out, grabbing my hand. We both instantly pull back at the shock. "You shouldn't have to go through this on your own."

He's right. I shouldn't. But if life was fair, I would be back home with Abby, not trapped here in this hell-hole for all eternity.

"Bae, think about it for a moment," I say, looking at him. "Think of why Pan was going to kill you. To get to me, just as he used Abby to get to me. He's not. Going. To. Stop. Not until you're dead, and I'm broken. Maybe I shouldn't have to go through this on my own, but I prefer giving it a try, rather than knowing that you died because of me."

_But if he goes,_ says a voice in the back of my head. _You'll slip. You'll give in. You'll either become Vin, or kill yourself to stop it._

It doesn't matter. I never mattered, when it came down to it. Not really. It was always about my magic, not me. But if I can save Bae, if I can save my brother, then maybe my fight will actually mean something.

"Jess, if I go," Bae says, quietly. "What are you going to do?"

I shrug, as if it isn't a big deal.

"Maybe keep up the act a little while longer," I reply. "Maybe hide out with Tink. Maybe go back on the run again, on my own. You'll be alright, and that's what counts."

Bae looks at me, and he can see that I mean it. He's leaving Neverland, tonight, even if it kills me.

"Bae, this is the hardest thing I've ever done," I murmur. "Please, do it. _For me_. Escape, so that Pan can't use you against me anymore."

Bae is silent for a moment, and I can almost hear my heart pounding, waiting for his answer.

_For me, Bae. Do it for me._

Bae meets my eyes, and I can see that he hates it. But there is also a resigned surrender as well. He knows that he has too. To save himself and me, he has to go.

"Do it," he mutters, and I feel tears pool in my eyes.

He's going to do it. I'm going to lose him, to save him.

"Okay," I murmur, forcing the word out of my throat.

_Oh, God. I don't want to let him go. He's my brother. I don't want to lose him too._

But I need to. This is the only way to save him.

Without another word, I open the candle. The shadow comes out, and almost reluctantly, reaches out and takes Bae's hand. Just as it did when it took me, it starts to fly off the ground, so that Bae hovers briefly beside him.

_Oh, God, this is it. I'm losing him. I'm never going to see him again._

"Bae, wait!" I say, suddenly reaching out, grabbing his sleeve.

He looks down at me, and I can see a brief hope that I've changed my mind. I haven't. I wish I could, but I can't. I need to save him again.

"When you get back…"

I can't say it. I can't make myself say good-bye.

"F-find Abby," I say, forcing back tears. "Tell her that I'm alive. That I love her just as much as I did when I was taken. That I won't forget her, and that...that I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill my promise."

Bae nods, knowing exactly what I mean. That I could never escape. That I could never get back to her, like I promised.

_Do it_, I tell myself. _Ask him to do this one last thing, for yourself._

"And," I say, choking out the words. "When you remember me, don't remember me as Vin the Lost Girl, or-or as Jess, the girl pretending to be one of Pan's, who almost killed herself. Remember me as Jess Lancaster, the girl who gave up her freedom for her sister...and...and her brother. Swear to me, Bae, you'll remember me like that. Not as Vin, but as Jess!"

I'm surprised at the emotion that's coming out, and I can't stop a tear from falling.

Bae grasps my sleeve, so that he isn't shocked.

"I swear, Jess Lancaster," he says. "I'm never going to forget you."

I know he means it. Because that's my brother. My stubborn, magic-hating, perfect brother, who survived with me.

"I love you, Bae," I murmur.

He nods, knowing that I don't mean romantic in anyway. He's my brother, and always will be.

"I love you too, Jess," he replies, and I can't suppress a smile through my tears.

I don't want to let go. I don't want to lose him too. I don't want to say good-bye.

I feel my fingers release his sleeve, and he releases mine. Without another word, the shadow and Bae fly off, at top speed.

They are almost out of view when I hear a shout, "I'm never going to forget you, Jess."

Then, they are gone. Just like that, he's gone.

The only person who has taken care of me for the last ten years, is gone. My brother, my best friend, is gone forever. Because I let him go.

I finally let it go. I let myself collapse on the ground, burying my face in my hands, letting my tears pour down. I let myself sob, not caring if the Lost Boys find me like this. I don't care anymore. Why should anything else matter?

Even when I lost Abby and Hook, there was Bae. There was my brother.

Now, he's gone, and I'm alone. For the first time, I'm truly alone. And that's how it's going to be for the rest of my life, as I'm trapped on Neverland.

He's free, now. He's safe.

But I'm alone, now and for the rest of my life.

* * *

**A/N: **So, while I can't be blamed for what happened in the mid-season finale, I can be fully blamed for what happened in this chapter.

A special thanks to **camila. correa****.142240, Sparkplugs, VVAgirl, mercenary2.0, CrossingtheDelaware, chinaluv, Bella166, Bor Vampire, Fire Kitty 12, **and **dancergirl829 **for putting this story on alert, and to **camila. correa****.142240, Sparkplugs, VVAgirl, mercenary2.0, songwriter16, chinaluv, Fire Kitty 12, **and **dancergirl829 **for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **The Wolf Who Writes, sarah0406, fireman12468, scorpiongirl92, Taeniaea, LunaEvanna Longbottom, songwriter16, meguhanu, Tukie4, mercenary2.0, Elvira Silver, chinaluv, **Kirsten, The white angel, twentyfour24, shootingstar1618, and Guest for leaving awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my great betas **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **and **Uncommon fairy.**

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on...everything are especially appreciated. Also, before I go, Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays! And, in case I don't update before then, Happy New Year! **:)**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: **Hey, y'all!

I just wanted to let you guys know that this chapter is mainly about Jess coming to terms with some stuff. With that being said, there isn't a lot of action in this chapter. It's mostly internal, since it's Jess's thoughts and feelings. Just wanted to give y'all a head's up.

Also, I highly recommend listening to **Let It Go** from _Frozen_ for this chapter. I, sadly, own neither the song nor the show.

* * *

I throw a knife at the target painted on the tree. It hits, close to the bulls-eye.

"Just like you said, Pan," I mutter, under my breath, even though Pan is nowhere near me. "Trust myself...to...hit...the...stupid..._target_!"

I hurl another knife at the target, and it wedges itself in the bark. Without another thought, I throw another knife, and another.

Yeah, I trusted myself. I trusted myself to do the right thing, and get Bae out. I did the right thing.

_So why do I feel empty now?_

The boys found me in the same place I was when he was gone. Just crying, not moving. Alone. I told them Bae had found a way to escape Neverland, and had left. That was truth enough. They just assumed that he had abandoned me. That I was still the poor, helpless victim who was betrayed and held at a knifepoint. I had been traumatized. Even Pan had left me alone, but I could tell he was fuming that Bae was out of reach.

But, he can't get to me. I'm just the helpless, brainwashed girl.

_Another reason I know I did the right thing. _

But it feels wrong. My brother is gone. He's not coming back. And I can't do anything to change it.

I don't regret getting him out. I just wish that, somehow, I could have gotten out with him. That I didn't have to make the decision never to see him again, for his own good. I just wish that it never had to come to that.

_What would have happened if I hadn't, though? Did I just expect him to sit around, waiting for me to come and visit for all eternity? _

At least now he has a life. He can grow up now, maybe find a nice woman, get married. Start a family. Have the life I can never have, because I'm always going to be trapped here.

_Funny how I've just accepted that,_ I think bitterly. _The earth is round, Columbus sailed in 1492, and I'm trapped here forever. Facts of life._

So, what does that make me? Jealous of Bae?

No, I'm not jealous. I just...I just wish that I could do something now. I just feel pointless. Like I have no purpose. And, I feel like unless I move, unless I do something, I'm going to be stuck here forever, unable to do anything. Just pointless, meaningless Jess.

I sigh, and chuck another knife at the tree, which wedges itself in the bark, dead center. I'm not sure why I'm even throwing knives. It felt better than sitting around, I guess. But at this point, I almost can't see the target. I don't know how long I've been throwing, but the target is almost gone from all the knife points.

_Is that what's going to happen?_ I think miserably. _Now that Bae is gone, am I just going to get hurt over and over again until I'm unrecognizable?_

I am still the same person. I just feel empty, pointless, and useless. Maybe I was always like that, to begin with.

"You know, you're going to wear yourself out if you keep doing that."

I don't even jump. I could sense Pan coming a few minutes ago. I just don't even care anymore.

_What's the point? Bae's gone, why should I be scared? He has no power over me anymore. _

I don't respond to Pan, but just throw another knife at the tree. I notice Felix out of the corner of my eye, but I don't react to him either. He wanted to kill Bae as well. He knew how Bae was tortured. In my mind, that makes him equally guilty.

"Oh, nice one," says Pan as my knife gets another bull's eye.

I just grunt in response, and pull out another knife.

I'm not playing this game. I'm not going to talk to him, and act like the victim, when he knows that he was only going to hurt Bae to get to me. I won't act like everything's okay, and I can just move on. It's because of him I had to say good-bye to one of the few friends I've ever had on Neverland. I'm not forgiving him for that.

_Just another thing to add to the list of reasons of why I'm not forgiving Pan. _

Unfortunately, both he and Felix seem to sense that I really am not in the mood for talking with either of them right now. Felix sighs, and tries to talk to me, anyway.

"Vin, look-" he starts, but I simply throw another knife to show I'm not listening.

"I just-" he tries, but again, I cut him off by throwing yet another knife.

"Would you-"

Another knife goes flying at the tree.

"Vin, stop!" Pan insists. "The target is _dead_."

_Is it? Because I think I need to throw another knife at it. _

I raise my arm to throw another, but Pan catches my arm before I can do it, and stops me.

How dare he? He has the nerve to touch me after what he was planning to do with Bae. He just thinks he can talk to me, and hurt me even more, after everything he put both of us through.

I yank my arm out of his grip, and I turn to face him.

"Go away," I snap, ready to throw the next knife at him.

Pan and Felix share a look that says they were expecting this. Yeah, well they should. That's what happens when they try to kill someone's best friend. They don't want to talk to the people who tried to kill him.

"Vin, come on," begs Felix. "Just talk to us."

_Like that is going to happen. _

"I know you're upset," Pan adds, looking at me pleadingly. "I'm sorry for having to do that. And, I understand, you were under Baelfire's spell-"

_Oh, no. He is not going to play that game with me. Not when it's just the three of us, and we all know the truth. _

"Don't even go there," I say, looking him in the eye. "Drop it. You and I both know that it was never about him. It was about me. Don't act like you aren't glad that he's gone. You're just happy to have him out of the way, and you know it. Order me around all you want, but don't pretend that I'm stupid."

If he thinks that I'm just going to roll over, and let him pretend that I'm still the victim, I'm going to puke. I'm done playing with him, I'm done being part of his game. I just lost my brother, and I am not going to let him push me around.

The resolve helps relieve the emptiness a little, but it feels more like a callous than help. Like something to block out the pain than ending it.

Pan blinks at me, clearly not expecting my answer. Felix steps forward, so I turn, ready to round on him.

"Don't you try it either," I say, raising an angry finger at him. "Don't you start acting like I'm the victim. We all know that it was never like that, and, I swear to God, Felix, if you say you were only following orders, I will torture you as badly as you tortured him."

He looks at me with horror, as he realizes that I know. He doesn't even try to deny it, or defend himself. He just looks at me, then looks down at the ground with guilt that I don't buy for a second.

I lost him today because these two thought they could get to me, and make me their sister. And, I don't care. I don't care for their excuses, or whatever they want to use to justify themselves. Bae is gone, so they can't use anything against me.

_Oh my God, Bae is gone._

"Vin, we never wanted to hurt you-" Pan starts, but I turn, and cut him off with a look.

"Don't bother," I hiss.

I don't hold back. Not anymore. Why shouldn't I? He has nothing to hold me here, nothing he can use against me. He has already trapped me, and took away the people I love. He can't do anything more against me.

"Look," I say, my voice laced with anger. "You have done everything you can think of against me. You have manipulated me, pushed me, took me away from everything I ever loved. Now, for once, do something that is not for you, but for me, and leave me alone. For three hours, don't look for me, don't try to manipulate, or push me. Just leave me alone."

With that, I turn to walk away. Felix reaches out to grab my arm, but Pan stops him before he can. Good, I didn't want to yell anymore. I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm empty and tired. I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

"Just leave me alone," I murmur again, walking away.  
I don't care if Pan hunts me, or hurts me. I don't care anymore. I just have a blind numbness. That's all there is, really. Emptiness and numbness.

And I just want to get away. From all of it. From Peter Pan, from boys who believe that I'm their sister, from magic, from Dreamers, and shadows. All of it. But I can't. That's just another fact, now. I'm trapped in Neverland, and I can't get away from everything Pan has gotten me involved in. No matter how badly I want to, something will draw me back. I thought I could get away when the Shadow hid me and Bae, but I was wrong. Because Pan found Bae and tortured him, to get to me.

_Well, Bae is gone now. So, why am I even bothering to stick around? Nothing is holding me to the Lost Boys anymore. I could leave now, if I wanted to. _

I sigh, as I realize I have no idea where I'm walking. I'm just letting my body react before my mind. Again.

I'm not headed towards Bae's cave, or towards Tink's place. I'm just wandering.

_The last time I did this was when Hook found me. He took me back to his ship, and I discovered Pixie Dust, and that I could fly. _

I smile at the memory, as I keep walking. Maybe that's where I'm headed. Towards the Pixie Dust Tree, or maybe to the beach where Hook took me back to _The Roger_.

But it's pointless. What would I do if I went to the Pixie Dust Tree? Fly? Even now, I can't see the point of flying. I'm like a caged bird. I can fly around, maybe, but I still can't leave. I'm still trapped in a cage, even if there aren't any bars. Because if I leave, I die.

I gasp, as it suddenly hits me full force. I made peace with the fact that I'm trapped here with Bae, but we had always lived day to day. Fight for food, avoid the Lost Boys, live to fight another day. It has not fully hit me until now that I'm alone.

I'm going to be here _forever_.

No dying, because Pan will ensure that I stay alive, even if I tried to kill myself again. Even if I run away, I'm going to be alone forever. I can never leave, I can never wait for the end. There is no end for me. I'm here forever. There is no "end of my days" as some may call it. If I run, I'm going to be spending eternity alone.

I could always try to take shelter with Tink, but if I do, I'm just endangering her. Another soul who I'm responsible for if they get hurt. First Abby, then Hook, then Bae. Tink and I aren't close, but we are friends, and I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me.

_So, now what? Am I just supposed to run, and be on my own forever? _

I could always find the Shadow again. I'm sure it would be happy to take me back, and away from Pan. It would be able to hide me, tell me about Pan and his weakness. I would be able to find out how to beat him, and take him down.

_But, at this point, what will that accomplish? It won't change the fact that I can't leave. It will only either get the Lost Boys to come after me, and I'll just be spending eternity running for my life from the boys who trusted me._

I sigh, and pick up a rock. I throw it as far as I can, just to make myself feel better. It doesn't help, really. I can't do anything, but throw stuff at this point. I'm angry, so I'm just throwing stuff. Because that accomplishes _so_ much.

I'm useless. I can't run, because I'll be alone. I can't join Tink, because I'll be putting her in danger. I could find the Shadow, but even that future seems bleak, spending eternity with only the Shadow for company.

"But why can't I run?" I ask myself, as I step over a fallen log. "It's not like I'm not alone as it is. Bae's gone, so what's the point?"

_Because I don't know what I'm doing anymore_, I realize. _Even before I was taken to Neverland, I made decisions based on what was best for Abby. When I came to Neverland, I was trying to get back to Abby, and protect her. When I couldn't, and Hook was gone, I always did what was best for Bae._

But, without anyone to care about, without anyone to fight for, I'm just empty. Useless.

I can't keep fighting, because there isn't anyone left for me to fight for.

_So, what now? Do I just give up? Do I stop fighting now? _

Because the truth is, I'm tired. I'm tired of running from Pan, and I'm tired of always fighting for myself. It was because of Bae that I kept on going. That I didn't lay down and die, or give into Pan just to stop it all. I did it for Bae. And before him, for Abby.

Why should I keep fighting, if I have nothing left to fight for?

_Wait, what am I saying? _

I can't seriously be considering giving in. If I do that, all my fighting will have been for nothing. Well, not exactly. I got Bae out, didn't I?

I feel a small burst of pain, as I cut myself on a fallen branch. I look down as the wound, I sigh, and just imagine a band-aid over it. Cuts don't really matter, considering how much pain Pan has put me through.

I shake my head, turning back to my thoughts.

_I don't want to give up. I don't want to become Vin. But everytime I think about it, the more tempting the option becomes._

I won't have to fight. I could finally rest. I wouldn't be alone. The Lost Boys would be there, taking care of me.

But that would mean breaking. It would mean giving in, and doing the very thing that I swore I would never do. I would be agreeing to stay with the people who took me from my home, locked me in a cage, and have pushed me into becoming one of them.

I don't want it to be my only option, but it just feels like it is.

I don't know why, but I feel my mouth open, shouting what I just need to say.

"Help me!" I shout. "Just, somebody, anybody...help."  
The last word is a soft whisper, as I realize no one is going to answer me. No one is going to help me get out of this. Not Abby, with her innocence, not Hook with his belief in good form, not Bae with his insistence that we stick together. I'm on my own.

_I'm just...alone._

I sink to the ground, crying softly.

I want it to end. I'm just so tired. I just want it all to end. I know it won't, though. I'm here forever, and whatever choice I make right now will decide how I'm going to be spending all eternity.

"I can't give into her," I whisper, between sobs. "I can't break and give into Vin. I can't do it. I break, and I will be his tool forever. His mindless weapon, just making whatever magical things he wants. I...can't….I won't do it. I won't break, and give into Vin."

I wipe my eyes, as I realize how crazy I'm sounding. Vin isn't even a person. It's just something that represents giving into Pan. But, is it, really?

Pan calls me Vin, as does Felix and all the other Lost Boys. Because, that's their way of saying that I'm their sister. That they care about me. All this time, they've called me Vin, but I haven't broken. I'm still who I am, whether someone has called me Vin, or Jess. Because, that's just it. Jess, and Vin, whatever I'm called, it doesn't change who I am.

Vin is just a _name_.

_Why am I so scared of a _name_?_

The idea seems so silly, I almost laugh. All this time, I've been scared of a name. I've been scared of breaking, and all this time, I've believed that would make me Vin. But it doesn't. Vin is just what the Lost Boys call me, because to them, I'm their sister. A Lost Girl.

I don't need to be scared of being Vin, because, in a way, I've always been Vin. I've always been their sister, because I've always cared about them. That made me Vin. I also cared about Bae, and Abby, and that made me Jess.

_So, why can't they be the same person?_

I mean, I told myself that as long as Bae saw me as his sister, I would always be Jess. And, he's swore that he wouldn't forget about me. I'm always going to be Jess.

But, if I'm going to spend eternity here and Neverland, why can't I stay with the people I care about? Because I care about the Lost Boys, even Felix. Not Pan, but the Lost Boys. And, it's like the younger boys said. Vin is their sister. Jess is Abby and Bae's sister. But they're the same person: _me._

All this time, I've been running away from the idea of being the Lost Boys' sister, because I thought it would break me. Because I thought that I couldn't love them, and Bae and Abby at the same time. And, I think that's what Pan believes too. That's why he's pushed me; he's trying to make me forget Abby and Bae, so that I will be a Lost Girl, and break.

"That isn't it, though," I say to myself, standing up. "That was never it. I thought by loving the Boys, I broke. But it's just the opposite."

By loving the Lost Boys, I'm _stronger_.

Because I love both them, and Bae and Abby.

I feel a sort of lightness in me, and I almost laugh again.

_Why shouldn't I laugh? Why should I be scared anymore? _

For so long, I've been forced to choose between the boys, and those who weren't part of Pan's group. But, I don't have to choose anymore.

I'm never going to forget Bae, Abby, or Hook. They will always be a part of me, and I will always carry them with me. But, I don't have to choose anymore. They'll remember me as Jess, and that is enough for me.

_Why should I keep running from being Vin? Why can't I embrace her_?

Vin isn't the person I fear that I may become. Vin is me.

I finally allow myself to laugh.

In freeing Bae, I also freed myself. I don't have to be scared of Pan, because he doesn't have any hold over me. I can love both sides without having to be scared of what he'll do to one.

I was empty, because I thought I had no one. But, far from it. I have an entire camp that's full of brothers, who I can love just as much as I love Bae.

I wanted someone to care about, to fight for. Well, now I do. I can fight _for_ the Lost Boys.

_And Pan?_

Pan can go screw himself, because I've still beaten him at his own game. I don't love him, I haven't given into him. I've chosen to love both those back home, and those here in Neverland. I haven't broken.

If anything, I've repaired myself from breaking, because I'm not torn between the people I love anymore.

_I haven't given into Pan. I'm farther out of his reach than I've ever been before. _

I realize that I'm practically skipping across the forest. I stop, and let out another laugh. I remember when I told Hook that, other than the Lost Boys, Neverland was beautiful. As I walk through the forest, with no idea where I am, I can see that beauty again. The trees, the breeze on my face, the wild power that I feel with my sixth sense, it's all beautiful.

All of this time, I've thought Neverland was a cage, like what Pan put me in. But, I was only in a cage, because I was being forced to choose between them. But, I don't have to choose anymore.

_Neverland isn't a cage. It's...home. That's all I can call it: home. _

Suddenly, I'm climbing a tree, and making a zipline. I savor the feeling flying again, as I take off through the forest.

If I am going to make this home, I'm going to need my own place.

Even if I'm their sister, I'm still a girl. I need my privacy. I can't sleep with the younger boys all the time. I'm going to need a place where I can just get away, get a few hours to myself.

I find myself taking my ziplines to the Southern part of the island, where I stayed sometimes when I was living on my own. Before Pan made me drink the water. I don't know why I'm drawn there. I guess I'm just making up as I go.

I start to survey the areas as I fly over them, eventually stopping at a small grove, with a few tall, thick trees, where I can see the sky clearly, and I can see the sea in the distance. Perfect.

Now, where to live? Am I just going to imagine a tree house, or...oh, that's brilliant.

I take my ziplines to a branch of a nice, tall thick tree, and I imagine it hollow. Living in a hollow tree. Just like a fairy tale.

_Heck, I see fairy tales in my dreams. Why can't I have my own?_

With the tree hollow, I imagine a door in the trunk, even though I'm still, that can only be seen by those I want to see. I open it, and almost step off into nothing, catching myself just in time.

Once, I would have been shocked at almost dying, but my ecstasy just makes me laugh again.

_Right, I should probably imagine a platform or something._

I get to work, letting my imagination run wild. I haven't done anything like this since...since I made my mindbox.

_Bae always frowned on magic. But it's not bad. Not really. It's a part of me, and I'm embracing it as much as I am the Lost Boys. _

I imagine a platform before me, but I make it look like part of the trunk, with rings in the brown-reddish wood to represent age. Which, is ridiculous, because nothing ages in Neverland.

_Actually, speaking of rings…_

I hollow out the center of the platform, so that it really is a ring around the center of the tree. Then, with a huge grin, I imagine a waterfall, falling down from the side of the ring across from me, and down the center, landing in the bottom.

_Yes, a fully functioning waterfall, in a tree. Just because I can make it_.

With another idea popping up, I make a crystalline spiral staircase, circling the waterfall, and down to the roots of the tree. For fun, I imagine flowers covering the rails of the staircase. Except, these are four petal flowers, with blue and purple petals. Just like the butterfly necklace Hook gave me.

With that, I turn to the side, imagining a large window, that looks out into Neverland. Home. The view is incredible, with the sea in the distance, the large peak rising up on the other side, and the large jungle below me.

I start imagining so many other things for my new home. A crystal chandelier, a canopied bed, with sheer white curtains, and silver bedposts. I mean, I'm still a girl. Just because I'm the only one here in Neverland-well, except for Tink- doesn't mean that I have to be a tomboy.

Pictures, almost like paintings on a cave, start to cover my walls. Pictures of constellations, mountains, the ocean, with the mermaids swimming free through the waves, and _The Jolly Roger_ sailing across the water. My precious little sister, running free on a grassy hill, with Bae by her side.

_I'm not letting go of them. I'm embracing them, and the Lost Boys. _

I start to add a white vanity, and a full length, ornate mirror. And a rack of knives, so I can still throw. Just because I'm letting my girly side break loose, doesn't mean I'm letting myself become helpless.

Finally satisfied with my work, I turn, and look at the mirror. I've been able to get a few minutes alone to bathe in the river at camp, so I'm pretty clean. But my hair...still a matted mess.

Instead of bothering to brush it, I just imagine a pair of scissors, and cut it all out. Within moments, it's all at my feet, so I imagine it grown back to the length it was before, except braided with a leather cord woven through the strands.

I finally take a good look at myself in my mirror. The years with Bae have made me thinner, but the food and constant time of running, ziplining, and training with Pan have made me more lean than skinny. My clothes are slightly torn, but that can be fixed easily.

And I'm smiling. I have a ridiculous grin on my face, and I'm fine with it.

_Because, I feel happy. For once, I feel truly, inexplicably happy. _

I look in the mirror, and I see both Jess, and a Lost Girl. And I embrace both of them as me.

_I beat you, Pan. You thought that by killing Bae, or at least getting him out I would just despair, and break. Maybe I would have. But, that's not what happened. I'm a Lost Girl, and the Lost Boys are my family. But in no way, am I broken. In no way am I yours. _

I have won. In the end, when it truly mattered, Pan, I won. No matter what you do now I'm never going to break.

_Point to Vin._

* * *

**A/N: Yes! That just happened! **

Yay! Early Update! I've actually been wanting to write this chapter for so long. Pretty much, every time **Let It Go** came up on my iPod, I was picturing this chapter. So, I hope y'all enjoyed it.

A special thanks to **sarah0406, creativeminds1896, **and **sydvan23** for putting this story on alert, and to **Dreamer-Girl96, sydvan23, **and **goddess of heroes and time** for favoriting it. Also, a thank you **sarah0406, Dreamer-Girl96, chinaluv, peterpanlover, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Tukie4, The Wolf Who Writes, meguhanu, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, songwriter16, creativeminds1896, **shootingstar1618, twentyfour24, Kirsten, The white angel, and Guests, for leaving awesome reviews. And, of course, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms**, my incredible betas!

Also, I hope y'all had a Merry Christmas, and since I'm probably not going to get it out by then, I want to wish you all a Happy New Year!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! I know this chapter was a little different than usual, so feedback on Jess's thoughts are especially appreciated. **:)**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: If I owed OUAT, it would be back on already, instead of waiting until March (sigh). **

* * *

This was it.

He was sure of it. It had taken Bae so long to find this place, but he was sure he had found it.

Pan's shadow had dropped him off in the middle of nowhere, leaving him to fight for his own food and water. He had to resort to stealing food from stores and sleeping in the streets, sometimes being taken in by shelters.

Once, he would have been startled by things like cars, phones, and electricity, but Jess had explained all of those things to him before...before she helped him get out.

It had been almost two months since he got out, but he still felt an ache every time he thought of his friend who was trapped in Neverland. He had no idea if she was safe, or if she was in danger. For all he knew, she was dead.

And he was never going to see her again. He was never going to know what became of the girl who had pretty much become his sister.

Part of him wanted to go back, just to see her again, or get her out. But that would be pointless. Getting Jess out of Neverland was sentencing her to death. But, knowing she was still back there, trapped under Pan, made him wonder if there was any other solution. Any other way to get her out of that realm without her dying.

But, he knew there wasn't. His sister was trapped, forever, while he walked free.

It wasn't fair.

She was the one who had looked out for him all those years. Sure, he had kept her safe when she was forced to drink the water. But she was the one who had handed herself over to Pan for him. She was the one who had risked her safety to sneak out, and make sure he was alright. She was the one who saved him from death, and got him out of Neverland.

She should have been able to leave with him. She should have been able to get out, and be free. Instead, she was still trapped, and either at Pan's mercy, or on the run from him and the Lost Boys. She, who had done so much for Bae, was still trapped, and he could do nothing to repay her.

Except for this one thing.

It had taken him ages to find the address. Since he was living on the streets, no one was quite willing to help him find Abby. He had to resort to the people who guarded the realm...Jess had called them police. Anyway, he had to ask them for help, pretending Abby was his sister, and he needed a place to stay. It wasn't exactly a lie. Jess was his sister, and that made Abby his little sister as well. And, had it all worked out, had Jess been able to escape, she told him he would stay with her family.

None of the police knew who Abby was, until an older one had recalled the name "Lancaster" from what he had called a "cold case." He had told Bae to wait for a few minutes, which had promptly turned into several hours. He returned, later, with a file, that talked about a seventeen year old girl disappearing, without a trace, although the little sister had claimed she had been kidnapped. The man assured Bae that the family still lived in that house, and gave him the address. Luckily, Bae was in the right city.

That was all Bae had needed.

He had to steal money for food, and to get to the address. Any other time, he would have felt horrible, and would have found some other way. But he had promised Jess he would do this. It was the equivalent of her dying wish. He had to fulfill it, no matter the cost.

So, here he was now, at the address. Just a door stood between him, and delivering her message.

Bae felt his heart thumping, as he prepared to knock.

What if Abby didn't recognize him from all those years ago? What if she wasn't home? What if she thought it was a lie?

_Just do it_, he told himself. _You owe Jess that much._

With a deep breath, he knocked on the door. For a few seconds, there was silence, and Bae was afraid that no one was home.

What should he do? Wait? Come back later?

Before he could think further into it, the door swung open, revealing a woman, who had to be at least in her mid-forties. She had the same hair and eye color as Jess. She was taller than Bae, only by a few inches (he had been getting taller ever since he left Neverland), and she smiled kindly at him. She had the same smile as...

Oh, gods, this was Jess's _mother_.

Bae almost felt his heart plummet. Her mother. Jess's mother.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked, sounding pretty friendly.

Bae couldn't believe it. The woman was dressed in what was probably tasteful clothes in this realm, and she obviously was doing well for herself. She obviously held herself up with a confidence that reminded Bae of Jess. And her eyes were...happy. They weren't exhausted, or angry, or frustrated, like Bae had expected.

Jess had always spoke of her mother with a hint of bitterness, because she had left Jess to practically raise Abby. She had been too absorbed with her work, with her clients, with anything except her daughters.

But, from what Bae could tell, this woman looked like someone who drank in the joy of life as much as possible.

"Are you alright?" she asked, a little concerned. "You look a little pale."

Bae blinked, and swallowed. He had to deliver the message. _For Jess_.

"Er, I'm looking for Abby," he said, forcing the words out. "I was told she lived here."

The woman nodded, and opened the door a little wider.

"Come in," she said, opening her arm in an inviting gesture. "She's just-"

"Mom, who is it?"

Bae looked over to see a girl coming around to see what the fuss was about.

His heart missed a beat.

For a second, he thought he was looking at Jess again. She looked exactly like her. But, as he looked closely, he could see traces of the sweet little girl who he had met all those years ago. The one person Jess wanted to see most, more than life itself.

_Abby._

She wore a sleeveless, grey tank-top-_that's what Jess called them, right_\- and dark blue pants. Around her neck, was a silver chain. Her hair was pulled back, and...she looked just like Jess.

She looked over Bae, and her eyes flashed with something Bae couldn't decipher. But, it passed as quick as it came.

"Abby, is this a friend from school?" asked her mother, nodding to Bae.

For a moment, Bae was scared that she had forgotten. That she would say that he was mad, and tell him to get out. But, Abby just nodded, and smiled.

"Yeah," she said. "I actually forgot to tell you. He's here for that Junior and Freshman classes working together project. You know, the one I mentioned last week? I'm sorry, I totally forgot to mention he was coming."

Her mother blinked, but nodded.

"Oh," she said, "so, I should probably go to the store on my own then?"

"Yeah, sorry," replied Abby, sheepishly. "It slipped my mind that he was coming. But, he should be heading home soon."

At that, she flashed Bae a pointed look, which confused him. What was she saying about heading home? What did she mean?

Her mother just nodded, and smiled at her.  
"I'll get going then," she said, grabbing a small bag that sat on a nearby table. "Study hard, you two. And, I'm sorry, hon, I didn't catch your name…"

Bae blinked, realizing she was talking to him. He hadn't noticed that he had been staring at Abby the entire time.

Jess had said Baelfire was a strange name in their land. What was a regular name she had mentioned...

"Neal," he replied, saying the first thing that had popped into his head.

_Neal, where had Jess mentioned that one?_ He knew she had, but he couldn't remember where.

"Neal," said the mother, nodding. "I'm Abby's mother, but you can just call me Sally."

She held out her hand, to shake. The gesture was familiar enough that Bae could shake her hand, smiling.

"Nice to meet you," he said, unable to convey what he truly felt.

This was Jess's family. Her family. And, she wasn't here. She wasn't here to see them again.

"You too," replied Sally, smiling.

With that, she blew a kiss to Abby, and walked out the door. Abby followed her to the doorstep. Her posture was casual enough, but Bae could tell she was looking warily at him.

Did she recognize him? Was she wondering where Jess was, and why it was him here, and not her sister?

"Bye, Mom," she called, as Sally walked to the car that sat outside. "Love you."

With that, she closed the door, and locked it. She turned to look at Bae.

Bae wasn't sure what he was expecting, but angry was certainly not part of it. She waited, however, until the sound of her mother driving away. As soon as she was sure her mother was gone, before he could say anything, she leapt into action.

In one swift movement, she pounced on Bae, forcing him away from the door, and pinning him against the wall. In a second movement, she pulled out a small knife from the pocket of her pants, and held the blade against his throat, her other arm holding him down.

Bae was so stunned, that he wasn't sure how to react. He definitely hadn't been expecting this.

"Abby, wait," he said, trying to get out of her grip. "Listen-"

"No," snapped Abby. "You listen. I don't know who you are, or what you think your mission is. I have told your boss a hundred times that I am _done. _Tell Pan-or the Home Office, whatever he calls it- that I am _through_ with him. I told him long ago that I was _done_ doing his dirty work, and my answer still is the same as it has always been.

"I am not his little minion anymore, and I am through with working for him. Now, I'm going to tell you the same thing I've told the others, so you better listen closely: tell Pan to leave. Me. Alone!"

Bae wasn't sure what she meant, but he still struggled. But, from what he could tell, she was saying that..._wait_…

Was she saying that Pan had _contacted_ her? That he had sent people after her, trying to get her to join him?

"Abby, you don't understand," he protested. "I'm not a Lost Boy. I'm not working for Pan."

"That's what the last two said," she replied, clearly not believing him. "I'm pretty good at seeing through lies, you know."

_Well,_ Bae thought. _Clearly not good enough, because_ I'm not lying.

He had to get her to trust him. To make her realize he was a friend. That he needed to deliver Jess's message.

"You know me," he protested. "When you came to Neverland-"

She snarled, and her arm pinned him even harder. Her eyes were full of hatred, that Bae would have looked away if he wasn't so focused on trying to reach out to her.

"I remember coming to Neverland all too well," she hissed, through clenched teeth. "I remember the shadow's grip on my wrist as it dragged me out of my own room, and threw my sister against the wall. I remember being afraid of your precious leader as he told me that I may be living in Neverland forever. I remember my despair, how I thought that I was trapped forever, as Pan had me tied up.

"The hope I had when my sister came from me. How I almost lost her. How the shadow took me back, and I didn't even get to say good-bye to my sister. I was only seven, and I remember. Unfortunately, my memories of the Lost Boys are fuzzy, so forgive me if I don't remember you among of one of Pan's brainwashed soldiers!"

She shouted the last words at Bae and a hint of spittle flew out of her mouth.

She thought he was a Lost Boy. He had to tell her something. Something to make her trust him. He quickly racked his brain, thinking of something that she, and not a Lost Boy would know.

"I'm not a Lost Boy," he said, looking pleadingly at her, hoping she would believe him. "I'm Baelfire. You met me, when you came to Neverland in your dreams."

Abby blinked, and for a second, Bae thought she recognized him. But then, she pressed him even harder, and still glared distrustfully at him. But, for his part, the distrust had decreased by a margin.

"Prove it," she muttered. "Prove that you're someone I can trust."

He didn't even have to search for the answer. He knew exactly what he had to say.

"Jess," he whispered, quietly. "she was reading you a book right before she was taken. She finished it when you came in a dream. She told me, it was about a silver chair."

Abby stared at him for a moment, and he watched the distrust give way to relief, recognition, and...pain.

"Bae," she murmured, lowering the knife and her arm. She stepped back, and silently pocketed the knife.

Bae looked at her in confusion. She remembered his nickname. That meant that she remembered him, from when she visited in her dreams.

"You remember?" he asked, instinctively massaging where she had held him down.

"Yeah," she replied quietly, not meeting his eyes. "I never forgot. You were supposed to be my brother, remember?"

Bae nodded, unsure of what to do. She knew him, yet she attacked him. She mentioned Pan and the Lost Boys. What had she meant?

"Then, why did you…" he asked, trailing off, unsure of what to call it.

_Attack him? Interrogate him?_

She shrugged, still not meeting his eyes.

"You're here," she muttered. "But Jess isn't. I didn't know if I could still trust you. But Jess wouldn't have told that to just anyone. That book was _our _book. She only would have told it to someone she trusted more than anything. Not someone working for Pan."

If he wasn't watching for it, he would have missed it. The reason she wasn't looking him in the eyes, the reason she was so ready to pounce on him.

She wanted to know why some boy she had met so long ago was talking to her, instead of her sister.

He had to tell her. She had the right to know. She needed to know why her older sister was never coming back.

"Abby," he said, quietly. "You may want to sit down. There's something I have to tell you."

She didn't sit down, so Bae shrugged it off, and went on. If she wanted to be rebellious, that was her problem. But he needed to tell her. She needed to know.

"After you disappeared," he started. "Jess was captured by Pan. I was able to rescue her with the pirate who lived there…"

He wasn't sure how long he went on, telling the story to Abby. Of how her sister almost made it out, almost made it back to her. And how she was stopped. How Pan condemned her to eternity in Neverland. How they had spent years, taking on the world on their own, together. How she got him out at the risk of her own life. And, most of all, he told her how more than anything, she wanted to get back to her sister. How the reason she was so sad that she was trapped was that she would never see her sister again.

Abby remained quiet throughout the whole thing, but her eyes told Bae everything. When Bae told her about the water, he could see tears pooling her eyes, but she held them back. When he talked about how she helped Bae escape, they became bright, but then it passed.

"She got me out," Bae concluded. "She couldn't leave, but she got me out. She...she told me to find you and pass on a message.

"She wants you to know that she's alive. That she still loves you, as much as she did when you last met her. That she hasn't forgotten you, and she never will. And, she's sorry that she couldn't fulfill her promise to you. That she would escape. She's so sorry that she couldn't make it. And she loves you, and always will."

He hoped it was enough. Enough that Jess, wherever she was, would be happy. Enough to communicate to Abby how much her sister still loved her. Enough for both girls.

Abby exhaled, not looking at him. He understood why. He didn't know what her reaction would be, but he could wait. She had waited ten years. He could wait a little.

Eventually, she nodded, and looked up, meeting his eyes. Her eyes were full of tears, but somehow she was smiling. And, beyond the tears, Bae could see something else. Hope. And, maybe, peace.

"Thank you," she whispered. "_Thank you_."

Bae just nodded, unsure of what to do. Didn't she understand? Her sister wasn't coming back. Why was she smiling, why did she look peaceful? Had she figured it out a long time ago, and just now was at peace with it. Or was she just happy to hear her sister's words again?

"Come with me," she said, suddenly taking him by the arm. "There's something you need to see."

She led him through her house to a room upstairs. He could tell it was a bedroom, and judging by the cleanliness, it was Abby's room.

There was a small bookshelf, filled with a few books, but one seemed more prominent than all the others. _The Silver Chair. _Their book. There was also a desk, covered in drawings, that rustled slightly as a breeze came through an open window.

But, the real eye catcher of the room was the wall, opposite the open window, covered with papers, drawings, and pictures, all connected by strands of red yarn. Bae could make out a few things among the chaos of the wall.

_Peter Pan always forgets. Does he still do this? _was written on a scrap of paper.

Another read: _Darlings? No records of them ever existing? Possibly fiction? Possible descendants? _

And, in the center of the chaos was a single picture. A picture of a seventeen year old girl, smiling, and happy. Untroubled, happy, carefree, and peaceful.

Jess.

"Are you...are you _tracking _her?" Bae asked, unable to believe it.

Abby nodded, running a hand across one of the strands of yarn.

"Ever since I was twelve," she replied, not looking at him. "I've looked into every version of Peter Pan, every story, every play, every last mention of him or Neverland. It hasn't been easy. Especially when most of the adults thought that the whole 'shadow' was just me blocking out Jess's actual kidnapping. But, I've done it."

Bae couldn't believe it. Jess had fought hard to get back to Abby. Harder than anything he had ever seen. Except, maybe, when Tiger wanted to avenge her tribe.

But, he had never once considered that _Abby_ would be fighting to get Jess back. That, on her own, she would be working to bring her sister home.

"I...I don't know what to say," he admitted.

On the one hand, he was amazed that Abby, at twelve no less, had this much devotion to finding her sister. On the other hand, he felt suddenly guilty. He had told Abby the truth, but in doing so, had he crushed any hope she had of seeing Jess again.

Abby shrugged modestly.

"Mom probably thinks I've lost it," she replied, casually. "But, she lets it go. She tried to take me to therapy around the last time I visited Neverland, but when I kept insisting for over ten years, she just gave up on convincing me otherwise."

Bae nodded, looking from the wall to Abby. Why was she showing him this? What did this have to do with his message to her, or with the hope he saw in her eyes?

"You said that the two of you lived on your own for years?" Abby asked, looking over at him.

Bae nodded, smiling slightly, as he remembered all the times he and Jess shared before...before Pan had gotten him. Tortured him. Forced Jess to join the Lost Boys.

"I knew it," Abby smirked. "The liar. Like he could hold onto my big sister that easily."

Bae looked at her in confusion, and realized that she was fiddling with something at the end of the silver chain around her neck. It was a small charm, shaped like silver pan pipes. Like the ones that Pan used to get his boys to dance.

Abby caught his gaze, and gave him a grimace.

"Pan didn't leave me alone after he got Jess," she explained, bitterly. "He still had plans for me. I couldn't go back to Neverland in my dreams. Something was always blocking me. After a while, I started to wonder if everyone was right. If I really did just imagine Jess getting kidnapped, and if my dreams were just dreams.

"Mom got better, though. After losing Jess, she sort of realized how much she had done. She became much more attentive. Much more loving. Not as intent on her work. I think the fact that she had put so much pressure on Jess made her feel guilty, and she wanted to amend that mistake."

She paused, glancing at Bae, then the necklace. Bae nodded, gesturing that she go on.  
"When I turned ten," she continued. "Mom threw me a birthday party. And, well, there was this small box, tucked underneath all the presents. This was inside."

At that, she jostled the necklace, rubbing the pipes with her thumb.

"There wasn't any note," she explained. "But some of the guests had already left, and there were a lot of unmarked presents. I just assumed it was another one of those. But, that night, I heard a voice coming from the pipes. It was trying to see if I was there, getting me to reply. It was Pan's voice."

She shuddered, and Bae began to see just how large an effect those few hours in Neverland had had on her.

"If I live to be a hundred, I'll never forget his voice," she said, looking down at the necklace. "But it was there, plain as day. He told me that he was willing to make a deal. He told me that there was some things that he needed me to do. And that, if I was a good girl, if I could finish those tasks, he would give me back Jess."

She looked at the wall, her hand going to a particular group of papers, that did not seemed to be linked together. However, they all had strands of yarn pointing to one paper in the center: _Me? _

Abby let out a small, harsh laugh as she looked over that particular group of papers.

"Like the naive little girl I was," she said, glaring at the papers, " I believed him. I thought that if I did it, he would return Jess to me. It was small stuff, at first. Go to a park, tell him exactly what I saw. See if I could take a particular candy bar from a store without anyone noticing. Look into the story of a boy whose father had recently vanished, and see what I could tell him about it."

As she said this, her hands went from one paper to another. Each one read something like _park, green jelly beans from_ _The Chocolate Bunny Store_, or _Owen Flynn_, and would be followed by a list of questions of why they were important.

Bae was starting to realize what she meant when she said that she was through with working for Pan. But, at the same time, he couldn't believe it. She had only been a child. A small girl, who just wanted her sister back. And Pan manipulated her, and forced her to do his work, all under the false promise of getting her sister back.

"You were _ten_?" he muttered, still unable to wrap his head around it.

Pan had tortured him, killed an entire group of Indians, and was doing gods knew what to Jess right now. This should have been nothing new to Bae. But even when Jess gave herself up to save her little sister, he still played with Abby, back in the Land Without Magic.

He had been playing with both sisters, using Jess's desire to get back to Abby against her, and using Abby's hope of getting her sister back to force her to work for him.

"Yeah," replied Abby. "And still that stupid, helpless, little girl that he had brought to Neverland. Three years since my sister traded her own freedom for me, and I still was too damn blind and naive to see that he was manipulating me."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. Jess used to do that, too.

"Every time I finished one of his jobs, I would ask if I could get Jess back," she muttered. "The pipes, they're like a phone. Two people can use them to talk to each other. I would tell Pan I did his job, and ask him if that was it. If he would return Jess.

"And, every time, he would say the same thing: _'Not yet, little Abby. There are still some things I need you to do.'_ And, then he would give me new tasks. By the time I was eleven, they became bigger things. Steal things from little kids. Trick certain adults into giving me things, or into doing things. I had to learn how to be quick, how to be manipulative. And I was only eleven."

For a moment, Bae didn't see the teenager in front of him. He saw a tired girl, who had already gone through a lot. Not as much as Jess had, but still too much. She had been forced to steal, lie, and cheat innocent people, all for Pan's lie that he would give Jess back.

"By the time I was twelve," she continued. "I wised up a little. I asked him to give me proof that Jess was there. And, he couldn't give it to me. He tried to disguise someone using Jess's voice, but I could tell it wasn't my sister. So, I told him that I was done working for him. I realized that even if he had her, he wasn't going to give her up. So, I told him I was done with him. I haven't worked for him since."

Bae fell silent, unsure of what to say. This young girl had grown up knowing that she had been tricked into doing things to help a monster, for nothing. Her only purpose, as far as he could tell, was to find her sister again. So, why had she been happy to hear that Jess was trapped? That she wasn't escaping Neverland?

_And, if she was truly done, why had she kept the pan pipe necklace?_

"Pan didn't believe me at first," Abby said, still fingering the necklace. "Since I kept the necklace."

_Seriously, could this girl read minds? _

"He thought that I hadn't meant it," she continued, "That I would be willing to work for him again. A few nights after I told him I was done, he told me he had another job for me. I gave him a two word answer: _piss off._ He tried again a few nights later, and I told him the same thing. After a few weeks, with the same answer every time, he finally gave up. I would have thought he gave up completely if it weren't for the agents."

The what?

Wait, Pan himself didn't contact her, but she had thought he was working for Pan at first. She had hinted others had met with her as well.

"That's what you thought I was?" he guessed, and she nodded.

"Sorry about that, by the way," she said, giving him a small glance.

He just nodded, shrugging it off. She was, after all Jess's sister. He could forgive her for something like that. Besides, hadn't Jess punched him to save him when they first met? This was nothing compared to that.

"But, yeah, he's sent people to try to recruit me," she explained. "Some knew who they were working for, others thought he was some group that wanted to destroy magic of all things. I saw through that one in a heartbeat. And, each time I take the pipes, and tell Pan the same thing: nice try, but not good enough."

Alright, he just had to know. He got it, she had it pretty bad. But, why was she so calm with the fact that her sister was never getting out of Neverland? How could she be so happy about it?

"Abby, can I ask you something?" he said, turning to look at her.

"You just did," she replied dryly. "But go ahead."

How could he put it, without offending her?

"You've spent so many years fighting to get Jess back," he said, carefully choosing his words. "And, I can tell you've come a long way. But, I told you, Jess was forced to drink that water. She can't leave Neverland without dying. How are you...I don't know…"

"Fine with it?" asked Abby, finishing it for him.

He just nodded, not finding a better way to put it. She smiled, then turned, and walked over to her drawings. Bae followed, and looked at the pages. They were pretty good, considering Jess had told Bae that Abby had hated drawing. He saw a picture of a sword flying at woman in black, standing among a crowd, a man who was bleeding at the side, putting a small baby into a wardrobe, a dark haired woman in a white gown clinging to a light haired prince.

"These are good," he said, as his eyes roamed over the pages.

"Thanks," replied Abby. "They're just stuff I saw in my dreams, though. Before...before they stopped."

Bae wasn't sure what she meant, but he let it pass. What confused him was why Abby was showing him these. Or what they had to do with his question.

"A few weeks ago," Abby said, catching his questioning look, "I got a call from someone. He told me that he was writing a book, and he was hoping to use my drawings. The thing is, only my mom knows about my drawings. I asked him how he knew about them, and he told me that the book he's writing is very special.

"I was pretty sure he was another one of Pan's spies, when he told me that he wasn't working for Pan. In fact, he hated Pan as much as I did. But, he told me that he could help Jess get out."

She gave Bae a look that said that told him to pay attention, as it was important.

"He told me that he couldn't get her out on his own," she explained. "But that in nineteen years, someone would go to Neverland, who would be able to free her. In order for that to happen, though, he needed to write this book.

"At first, I thought he was full of crap, and was about to hang up, when he told me that soon, I would get a message from Jess. Not a fake one, but a message that only my sister would send. Something to let me know she was alive, and she still cared about me. And, if I were to get this message, I could not only let him use my drawings for his books, he would let me write my own message, that he promised would eventually reach Jess. And, when this message reached her, she would leave Neverland. 'It will take time, but with your message, your sister won't only leave Neverland, she'll save several lives in the process.' Those were his exact words."

She gave Bae a significant look, as if she was trying to make him understand. He didn't. But, he had the feeling that his coming was important.

"I don't-" he started, but she cut him off.

"Bae, don't you get it?" she asked, a smile slowly creeping onto her face. "You gave me Jess's message. I know my sister is alive, and that she still cares about me. This man, whoever he is, was right. This means, if I can get a message to Jess, through him, she'll be able to get out. She'll be able to escape, even if it's in nineteen years. She'll get out."

Bae shook his head, still unable to understand. Sure the message was neat, but Jess was trapped. She was bound to Neverland. She couldn't leave without dying. There was no getting out for Jess.

"That's actually the reason I've held onto the pipe necklace," she admitted, not realizing what she was saying. "I've been hoping that somehow, Jess will be able to find out how Pan communicates with them, and could use them to somehow talk to me. That, maybe one day, I won't hear Pan's voice in the pipes, but my big sister's."

"Abby," Bae said, upset he had to play the devil's advocate. "Don't you understand? _She's. Trapped._ She can't get out without dying. Whatever this write is telling you, it won't work. She's bound to Neverland. If she tries to leave, because of your message, she'll die."

Abby gave him a disappointed look. The kind that told him something was right in front of him, and he couldn't see, because he was too blind.

"Bae," she said, her voice sounding like it was fighting to remain calm. "Look at my window."

This entire conversation was just one great confusion for Bae. How would him looking at her window help her argument?

"What do you notice about it?" she asked, her voice still calm.

It was a window. It was clean, but he couldn't imagine that had anything to do with it. The only thing odd he could really see was…

"It's open," he guessed, with a shrug. "I don't know."

"Exactly," said Abby, nodding. "It's _open_. It has stayed open ever since Jess was taken, ten years ago. Even when it rains, or it's freezing outside, this window has stayed open. Once, Mom tried to close it, and I fought her to keep it open.

"In every version of Peter Pan that I've found, a closed window represents that a family has given up on seeing their kid. It means that if their kid somehow makes it back, they aren't welcome anymore. Well, this window has stayed open, ever since Jess disappeared. Some families leave lights on, or light candles when their loved one disappears, to symbolize that they still have hope. Mom and I have left this window open, because it means we still hope Jess will come back to us."

She looked Bae in the eye, and finally Bae understood. The little girl he knew was gone. And she had come too far to give up now. So, she wouldn't.

"It doesn't matter that my sister has drunk some water," Abby said, smiling. "I have fought too long, holding onto the hope that I'll see her again."

Bae nodded, and finally was able to smile with her.

"I don't care how long it takes, Bae," Abby said, her eyes blazing with hope. "I _will_ see my sister again. Somehow, someway, I'm going to get her back."

* * *

**A/N:**

Hey y'all! Here we are, another relatively early update. I hoped y'all enjoyed seeing Abby and Bae again, as a brief interlude from Neverland. I couldn't figure out where I wanted to put this chapter, since the next few are going to be very important for when Operation Cobra Rescue comes. So, here it is.

Also, I cannot tell y'all how thrilled I am that you guys liked the last chapter. I was honestly a bit nervous how it would take, since there wasn't as much action. Then, you guys leave awesome reviews that make me want to do a happy dance around my room So thanks, guys!

A special thanks to **DamRaccoon, The Pheonix or the Flame, vaguelykat, Scarletknight17, 15TSchultz, **and **Kiyoshi MizukiAtobe** for putting this story on alert, and to **The girl who cried I'm Batman, DamRaccoon, vaguelykat, Scarletknight17, Kiyoshi MizukiAtobe** for favorting it.

Also, thank you **Dreamer-Girl96, sarah0406, meguhanu, chinaluv, songwrite16, Tukie4, LunaEvanna Longbottom, The Wolf Who Writes, Elvira Silver, Scarletknight17, **Natalie, The white angel, Brooke, twentyfour24, shootingstar1618, and the other wonderful guests for leaving awesome reviews. And, of course, a special thanks to my incredible betas **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy**.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Feedback on Abby and her personal story are especially appreciated. I really wanted to show what she was doing, and how she developed since Jess's disappearance, so thoughts on her character are very welcome. Oh, and guesses about where Abby's drawings appear, and who this mysterious writer is are welcome as well! **:)**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: For any of y'all still wondering: nope, I don't own OUAT.**

* * *

I approach the camp, nervously tugging at my clothes.

_Stop it_, I scold myself. _You just changed your look. That's fine. They'll love it. _

In my time in my new home, I've spent some time changing things. For one, I set up more ziplines, so that I can practically go from anywhere in Neverland back into my tree house. I made it so that the waterfall doesn't flood the tree, and instead made a stream flowing out into the ocean. But, the biggest change I probably made was to my clothes.

I mean, I'm a Lost Girl, aren't I? I may as well dress like one. It's not like the clothes I was wearing were really meant for Neverland, anyway. They were just what I was used to. But, now that I've figured a few things out, I feel perfectly fine with changing my clothes a little.

I'm now wearing a black v-neck tunic that I imagined to bring out my figure, yet still be comfortable, and free to move in. Matching black pants fit in, with black knee-high boots, and a silver belt add to the outfit. A black hood makes the look complete. That, and the knife I have sheathed at my waist. And the two knives in my boots. And the two I have up my sleeves. I don't know when I'm going to use them, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Plus, I have knives up my sleeves. No one can tell me that's not cool.

_Pan may even think that I've broken,_ I think with a smirk. _He's going to get one nasty surprise if he does. _

I'm at the edge of camp, and I can see the Lost Boys are sparring around the fire again. They're going to have to teach me. Before, I was always slightly reluctant about lessons on how to fight, but now I think it would be fun to learn. It's their way of bonding with me, anyway. I may as well try it.

I see Pan discussing something with Felix and Marcus, a smirk on his face, as usual. He doesn't know. He doesn't realize that I'm not going to break. That, he's truly lost his chance.

_Oh, this is going to be fun. _

_Well, it's now or never._

Taking a deep breath, I step into camp, allowing myself to be seen. For the heck of it, I turn the flames from golden-orange to bright purple. That ought to get their attention. The discolored flames work like a charm. The boys let out shouts of surprise, as soon as the flames change, and look for the source of the change.

_Time for my grand entrance. _

I hold my head up, hoping I look confident enough, and stride into camp with a grin.

"What?" I ask, in a loud voice. "Did you guys think you could start the party without me?"

As I hoped, all eyes turn to me. Stunned silence sweeps through all the camp, as the boys take me and my new outfit in.

Even Pan and Felix looked surprised. I give them a small smug look, before turning to the other boys. Just because I've accepted that I'm a Lost Girl does not mean they've earned my forgiveness. And, they'll have to receive it on my terms now. Pan can't hurt me, and Felix never wanted to after he found out the truth with Sebastian. I have nothing to fear from either of them.

"Oh, come on," I say, when the silence becomes too long. "I don't look _that _bad, do I?"

"N-No," says Slightly, staring at me. "It's just...Vin, is that you?"

"Nah," I reply, playfully, as I casually turn the fire mint green. "I'm just her evil twin sister."

Some of the boys laugh at this, while others just look confused. Pan, however, recovers from his shock, and teleports close to me. I feel the dark from my sixth sense, but for once, I'm not scared of it. I don't have to be scared, or confused anymore.

"You look incredible, Vin," he says, his eyes looking me up and down. "Like a true Lost Girl."

The look in his eyes is both surprised, but also triumphant. He thinks he's won. That I've broken, and given into him. There's something in that look as well. I can't place it, but I've seen it before. And I don't like it. Once, I would have shied away from that look, or at least get my guard up.

But, I'm not afraid. Now that I'm both Vin, and Jess, I'm not sure why I'm so scared. He can't threaten Bae or Abby, because they are in another realm, and he can't hurt the Lost Boys without them turning against him. For all his power, all his plans, there is absolutely nothing he can do to me.

I look him in the eye, and I smile up at him. I see confusion flicker across his expression, but he quickly covers it up.

_He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand how I can feel so happy, if I've just broken. He doesn't know that I haven't broken at all._

I feel a small surge of glee. I'm not the one who has to pretend, now. He's going to have to make all the cover-ups now. He's going to have to be the one keeping up the act that he's in control. This just keep getting better and better.

"Aw, you're embarrassing me," I reply, pretending to blush. "I'm only trying it out."

"Keep it," calls Felix. "It suits you."

I fight the urge to glance at him. Felix was my friend, and he has been good to me. But, he knew the truth, that Bae was not trying to hurt anyone, just look out for me. And he was still willing to let him die.

And he knew Bae was tortured. All the pain Bae went through, almost dying, all to push me to join Pan. He knew about all of it, and said nothing. Maybe he hoped I would never find out, and laugh it off if I did ever find out. But, I'm not laughing.  
What he helped put Bae through, just to get to me, what he was going to do to "save" me, is too much to earn my forgiveness. Not after what he did to the boy I consider to be my brother.

"Thanks, Felix," I reply, not looking at him.

Instead, I spin around, letting the boys get a good look at the whole look. I earn a few appreciative nods, and even a few wolf-whistles from the Lost Boys. I give them a playful wink, and a flirty look, which just causes them to laugh some more.

"You changed your hair," remarks Nibs, pointing at my hair.

"Yeah," I reply, my hand running down my braid. "I was getting a little sick of it being so tangled."

"I like it," comments Marcus, from his seat beside Felix. "It looked like one of Slightly's white rat nests before."

I can't help but grin. Not just at the compliment, but at the whole thing. Marcus, the younger boys, all of them. I don't have to be worried that I'll break and give in by caring about them. I can love them, without any fear.

I let Pan turn Vin into a bad thing. But, in reality, that's just what the Lost Boys call me. There's nothing bad about that.

"Thanks, Marcus," I reply. "But I think that is an insult to the other white rat nests."

Marcus laughs at this, as does Felix. I can't help notice that Felix is watching me with a mixed expression. He looks like he's torn between wanting to talk to me, and staying out of my way. He should probably do the latter. He hurt Bae, to the point that he almost died. If he doesn't want another scar, he should stay out of my way.

Pan is still watching me, a little too close for comfort. But, I've realized that I don't care that he's too close. I'm not afraid of him. Nothing he says or does can hurt me. Tossing my braid over my shoulder, I to where the younger boys, not giving Pan so much as a side-ways glance. I can practically feel his stare, but I don't react.

He and Felix are going to get the cold shoulder for a long time. I don't know if they'll ever actually earn forgiveness from me, after everything they've done. They certainly doesn't deserve it.

"Hey, boys," I say, plopping down next to them. "I feel like I've been neglecting you."

How long has it been since I've done this? It feels like a lifetime ago, on the night that I ran. I haven't tried to do it, because I was scared about what would happen. But, not having that fear, not being torn takes it all away. It feels like a large weight has been lifted off of me, and I feel as light as a feather. Like I can breathe again.

All the boys look up at me, confused. I give them a small, secretive grin, and I imagine _The Wizard of Oz. _I catch a look at Pan, and his stone cold expression makes me want to cheer. He can't hurt me anymore. It's wonderful.

"How long has it been since I've read to you?" I ask.

Their faces light up like Christmas. Immediately, they are scooting closer to me, in rapt attention. I catch a glance at Toodles' expression, and I want to laugh. Even Pan's silent glare isn't enough to damper me.

This feels good. Just being around them, knowing I'm not lying, and that I don't have to be afraid. Just opening a book, ready to share the story with them. It feels incredible.

But, as soon as I open the book to the first page, I catch a slight movement from Pan. My instincts tell me that something is wrong, and I look up at him. He has pulled out his pipes.

_Oh, is that all?_

I almost want to laugh at him. He's doing the acid test. He's seeing if I've actually broken, if I truly feel like a Lost Girl. But, the title is a misnomer. I don't think I've felt less lost in my entire life. And he's going to see it. He's going to play his pipes, and I won't dance. I won't submit to him, and I never will.

_I can't wait to see the look on his face. _

"Vin?" Toodles asks, expectantly.

_Oh, right, I'm reading to them. _

"Right, sorry," I say, looking back down on the book. "Let's see...Chapter-"

Before I can get anything else out, the boys stand up, almost in unison. I look up in surprise, as they start running over to the fire, with ecstatic-no, almost crazed-expressions. Before I can say anything, they start dancing around the fire, laughing and shouting, yet not saying a word. Just leaping around the fire in some mindless trance to music that only they can hear.

And Pan? He's standing off to the side, blowing contently in his pipes, his eyes closed and his expression rapt. Almost as if he's drinking in how he has all these boys at his complete control, and is enjoying every moment that they are under his again, Pan controls them, playing on the fact that they feel lost and alone, to make sure that they stay close to him. Because they believe he is the only one who truly cares about them.  
_That's a lie_, I realize, feeling a pit form in my stomach. _He doesn't care about them. To him, they are simply tools to get what he wants. This dance, this music he puts them under, is just him controlling them again, and calling it "love."_

The joy I've felt for the past several hours disappears in seconds, replaced by anger and disgust. This is sick. He only wants to control them. He _likes_ controlling them. To him, it's a drug that helps him have fun. And he calls that control "family" just to play on their fears and hopes, and get more.

I stand up, but not to join them. Pan's eyes are open, but he's staring at me, as if waiting for my reaction. As soon as he sees the look on my face, he lowers the pipes, but the boys continue dancing. He matches my glare, as I storm over to him.

_He knows. He knows I haven't broken. What is he going to do now?_

I'm tempted to knock the pipes out of his hand when I reach him, but I don't. It's not like it will have any effect. No, I need to break his concentration, and free the boys.

"Let them go," I say, letting my anger show. I don't care if he knows I'm angry or not. I won't let him take control of my brothers, and just let him play with their heads, like he did with me.

Pan meets my eyes, and smirks.

"You don't want to join the party, Vin?" he asks.

_What he's really saying is: 'why haven't you broken?' _

I won't let him play with my head. He can't hurt me. No, I need to show him who really has the lead here.

"You will let them go, _now_," I demand, keeping my stance firm, ready to put up a fight if I have too. _But, no. That's not how he plays. He plays with words, with emotions. _

He can't touch me. Let me see if I can touch him. He's just lost the thing he has been trying to get for a decade, because of one simple decision. I can use that against him.

"Or what?" asks Pan. "You'll hurt me? Did losing Baelfire make you even more devoted to his cause, Vin?"

"We both know what happened with Bae," I reply, calmly. "And you can't touch him, now. Even if you have your shadow go out and grab him, I'll still get him out, without blinking an eye. Sorry, Pan, but your leverage that you have over me is gone."

Pan blinks, as if in surprise.

_Good, he wasn't expecting this. He wasn't expecting me to come to my decision like I have. _

"My leverage?" repeats Pan, crossing his arms, taking a step towards me.

Instead of backing away, I stand my ground, and smile up at him.

"And why would I need leverage over you, Vin?" asks Pan.

I see the challenge that he's not saying. He's challenging me to shout at him, to berate him for everything he's done, to crack. But, I don't. My cracks have all sealed, and I don't need to be afraid of him.

"Like we don't know," I reply, not even forcing the smile on my face. "You've always tried to have a leverage that you can use against me, Pan. First, Abby was your leverage to get me to agree to come here. Then, you tried using Bae against me first to draw me back to camp, then to try to force me to break.

"But, Bae's free now. You have nothing to use against me. For all of your power, magic, or whatever you've got up your sleeve, there's _nothing_ you can do to me. So tell me, Pan, why should I feel lost, or alone? Why should I have to dance to your little enchantment?"

Pan smirks at my reply, but I can tell that he realizes the truth. He sees that I'm out of his reach. And it's scaring him.

_That's right, _I think, bitterly. _You find out what it feels like to lose what the thing you've been trying to get for ages. Taste your own medicine. _

"I would think you would feel more lost than ever, Vin," he says, answering my question. "Baelfire is gone. He was the last thing you had of your life as Jess, wasn't he? You can't expect me to believe you are just alright with that. I saw how you were this morning, remember? And I saw that look in your eye. You were lost."

He's trying to divide me. To tear me apart, by believing that by being Vin, I'm breaking. He's pushing me to believe that I can't love the Lost Boys, and Bae and Abby at the same time. He doesn't understand. He doesn't realize that I've figured it out.

"No, Pan," I reply. "I'm not lost. I'm a Lost Girl, sure, but I'm not lost. Bae's free, and I'm glad he's safe. But, if he wasn't the last person I ever cared about. I care about the Lost Boys too. If anything, I'm don't have to be afraid that I'm betraying Bae, because he's not here. I can care from Bae from afar, while still loving the Lost Boys. I don't have to feel torn, or divided anymore."

Pan pauses, as if unsure how to respond.

_Wait, he's hesitating? He seriously has to stop and consider what he needs to say to me? _

_Oh my God, yes! This is great. He never thought that I would be able to make peace with everything he's put me through. He just expected me to break. Instead, I've outmaneuvered him. _

"So, you say that I have no power over you, Vin," he starts. "But what will you do if I force the Boys to keep dancing? What if I hurt them, the same way I hurt you?"

He's losing his edge. He sees it, and so do I. He won't really hurt his own followers, but he's also desperate. He's trying to find some way to control me again. He can't control me with his pipes, because I'm not lost. So, he's trying to get some more leverage over me, through the last people I love.

"You won't," I reply, shrugging. "You wouldn't stoop so far as to hurt your own people. That would only make them turn against you."

"Won't I?" asks Pan, stepping closer to me.

I can see it in his eyes. He sees that I'm out of his reach, and he's grasping at straws to get me back. It's pathetic, to be honest.

_Why did I not figure this out earlier? I was really scared of him so long, when all it took was me having an epiphany? _

"You've seen what I've done to get you, Vin," Pan continues. "And you don't know half the things I've done to get the power I have now. Don't make the mistake of underestimating what I will do to break you."

But I do know. I've known since I've first met the Shadow. I know his dirty little secret, and I know that he isn't lying when he says he will try everything.

"Funny thing," I reply, brushing his comment aside. "You 'breaking me.' I seem to recall you telling me that I would be the greatest Lost One, once you've broken me. Well, you're right, I am a Lost Girl. And, if what you say is true, I'm a pretty powerful member of your group. But you are so very far from breaking me. I wouldn't hold your breath on waiting for me to break."

"Funny how you keep saying that," Pan points out. "Yet, I was able to make you dance, after I locked you in that cage. Do you really think I'm not above throwing you back in another cage until you break?"

Oh, he has me there. Theoretically, he could lock me in a cage. The Lost Boys may question it, but he would probably convince them after a little while. And, he's right, eventually I would break if I spent a long time in the cage. But, I can't let him know that. I need something to ensure that I am never going back into a cage, so that he won't even consider the possibility.

_Well, this is the card I've been holding for so long. I think now has to be it. It's time to play it. _

"But you won't lock me in the cage," I answer, calmly. "You promised that if I fired the arrow, I wouldn't go back to the cage, remember?"

I'm just testing him, though. Seeing if it is time to play my card. I have a feeling that I know what his answer is going to be.

"Vin, Vin, Vin," says Pan, shaking his head. "You know how badly I've been fighting for you. What's one broken promise between two Lost Ones?"

_Yeah, I saw that one coming. This better work. Crap, Pan, you aren't going to like how this is going to down…_

"You still won't lock me in the cage," I insist, still smiling.

"Won't I?" Pan asks, cocking an eyebrow. "You wanted them to stop dancing, Vin? I could make them stop, and throw you back into a cage until you are a good, broken Lost Girl."

I let the threat roll off of me, and I give him a confident smile. Inside, though, I'm nervous about how he will take this.

"No, you won't," I reply. "Because if you do, I will tell every one of the Lost Boys the secret of the first people to physically come to Neverland."

Pan blinks, as if in surprise, but the look he gives me is still suspicious.

"I was the first person to come to Neverland, Vin," he points out.

_Yeah, he's getting there. Just lead him on a little. Let him know that I know the truth._

"Of course," I reply. "It's your secret. About how you came to Neverland. How you became young forever.

"How you traded your own son to get it."

I don't know how I expect Pan to react, but the next thing I know, Pan has teleported right in front of me, and his hands are locked around my throat. I can't get any air in, and I feel him squeeze harder. His eyes, only confused minutes ago, are now on fire with rage.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" he shouts, shaking me so hard that my teeth start to rattle. "HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SON?"

I'm not sure how he expects me to reply, with his hands all but crushing my throat. But before I can, he throws me to the ground.

_Well, I guess he doesn't like that…_

I massage my throat, trying to get air in. I look back up at him with a glare, and don't reply. Let him stew. Let him get more distressed.

"Tell me," he demands, and he aims a kick at me, but I easily dodge it before getting to my feet.

Before I even make a decision to tell him, Pan gives a small, humorless laugh.

"It was the Shadow, wasn't it?" he asks. "It showed you what happened when I captured Baelfire."

I nod; it's easier than speaking.

Strange. He told me himself that he could not regret anything. Yet, right now, I'm seeing him worried about the boys finding out who he is. What he did. Not remorse really, but fear.

"Why?" he asks, turning to me, his eyes still angry, but also afraid.

My voice is still hoarse, but I think I can talk now.

"It wanted to ensure that I would never trust you," I reply. "That, no matter what happened, I would never truly be able to give in and break, because I can never forgive you."

"Forgive me?" Pan asks, confusion and fear lacing his voice.

"Yes, forgive you," I say. "I'm trapped here forever. In maybe a century, I could forgive you for everything you've done to me. But, not now. Not after I know that you abandoned your own kid, to be young again."

Pan grabs me again, but this time by my upper arms. He's hurting me, but at least he's not strangling me. The look he gives me is one of anger, desperation and...fear. Why is he afraid?

"Why won't you just _break?_" he asks, as if I'm his only hope at life.

I know I should stay calm. I know it gives me the upper hand. Especially now, when I know that I'm never going to break.

But, Pan's anger is rubbing off on me. He has done so much to me in the past decade, and even though I've healed, I'm far from forgiving him. So, why shouldn't I be angry too? After all he's done, getting yelled at is the least that he deserves.

I lift my arms, slapping him away from me, and twist out of his grip.

"Because that would mean that all my fighting, all my work, all my love for the Lost Boys, Bae, and Abby is pointless!" I reply, venom dripping from my voice. "Because it would mean giving into you, forgiving you, maybe even loving you. And that will never happen."

"But why?" Pan asks, shouting his question at me. "I've gone through so much time, effort, and magic to break you. Why do you keep finding a way out of it? I've been making it so that giving in is the easiest option. Why do you keep fighting?"

_If he doesn't understand, I'm not going to tell him. It's not my fault that he doesn't understand anything about love, or strength. He only knows youth and cowardice. _

"Why do you care?" I shout in reply. "Why do you want me in the first place? I know I'm a Dreamer, I know my magic is powerful, but you have an endgame in mind. Why me? Why did you take me from my home in the first place?"

"Because I'm _dying_!" Pan yells.

As if someone flipped a switch, everything goes still. The fire still cackles, the Lost Boys still dance to Pan's musical enchantment, but for a moment, it's only Pan and I, staring at each other. Me in a confused disbelief, and Pan...I can't tell what he is thinking.

_He didn't just say that. He couldn't have. I misheard, I...don't know. _

Pan looks down, as he realizes what he said. His hands are clenched into fists, and he doesn't seem angry. Just desperate. So, very desperate.

"That's why I was looking for a powerful Dreamer, Vin," he says, his voice now calm, as he looks up at me.

"I'm dying. And you are one of the few people who can save me."

* * *

**A/N:**

Hey, y'all! Sorry for the late update; getting back to school (and homework) was a nightmare. Plus, this chapter was so, so, so hard to write. I want to give a big thank you to the three friends that had to endure my long, hard rants about how terrible writer's block is before giving me advice with this chapter. But, seriously, feedback on this chapter would be super appreciated, especially on Pan and Vin's argument.

Anyway, a special thanks to **Solarflash1980, Iluvoreosgirl, felicitysmoake, sophiejederman, xyz14, CeliaSingsSongs, **and **JellOtaku** for putting this story on alert, and to **findingyouagain, missEMbear, Iluvoreosgirl, CeliaSingsSongs, **and **JellOtaku** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **sarah0406, LunaEvanna Longbottom, songwriter16, Charmedhpgirl, meguhanu, The Wolf Who Writes, Taeniaea, chinaluv, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Kiyoshi MizukiAtobe, kksambo, DamRaccoon, **shootingstar1618, The white angel, and all guests for leaving awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my betas, **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms, **and **Uncommon fairy. **Y'all are my heroes; thank you so much!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Like I said before, feedback on Pan and Vin's argument and confrontation would be really appreciated; it was such a hard thing to write. **:) **


	39. Chapter 39

For a second, I can only look at him in stunned silence.

_That can't...what…_

I hate Pan. I hate him more than anything.

But he's freaking _Peter Pan_. He's immortal. Even if he's a lying, manipulative bastard, it just seems _wrong_ that he's dying.

"I...I don't understand," I mutter, trying to wrap my head around it. "We are in _Neverland_. How could you possibly be dying?"

Pan shrugs, still looking desperate. Calm, but desperate.

"You know what I was before I came here," he replies. "How I gave up my son to become young."

Yeah, I remember. He just tried to strangle me for knowing about that. His reaction makes it all the more despicable, to be honest. He gave up his own kid, and instead of regretting it, he wants it to remain a secret.

_Though, to be fair, that's not entirely his fault. I was the one who left him at that tree which sucked out his regret. _

"What does that have to do with you dying?" I ask, folding my arms.

Pan lets out a sigh of frustration, and runs a hand through his hair anxiously.

"All magic comes with a price, Vin," he says. "Whether small or large, there is always a price. And dying is the price for my youth and longevity. My son was the price for becoming young again. For staying young, I have to die."

None of this fits his usual persona. Usually, he's so calm, smug, and evil. But not this time. This time his movements, his voice, his damn body language seem quick, and uncoordinated. As if he's unsure of what he wants to do. No calm, or control. Just the opposite.

_Oh my God. I think he's serious. I don't know why, but somehow I get the feeling that he isn't lying to me. _

That's a first.

"How?" I ask, trying to maintain a calm composure. "How are you dying, though?"

Pan gives me a brief look, then sighs again. I want so badly to think that he's playing me, that this is all a lie. But, somehow, deep down, I know he's telling the truth.

"It's a long story," he replies. "And...gods, I wish you hadn't found out, Vin."

_What does he mean? Does he mean about his son, or that he's dying? Or just everything in general?_

"Why?" I ask, keeping calm, despite my confusion. "It seems to me that this is the first time you've ever been honest with me. Why is my knowing a bad thing? Because I'm not going to break and give into you?"

Pan shoots me a look, and part of me suddenly regrets the harshness of that.

_Wait, I'm feeling sympathy? For him?_

This has to be another trick. This has to be him playing me. Because, there is absolutely no way I could truly feel sorry for him.

"It would have been much easier if you just broke, Vin," Pan says, not meeting my eyes. "You would have just gone through with my plan, no questions asked. Instead, you found out. Now, I have to persuade you to help me."

Any sympathy I may have had vanishes in a flash. He's been wanting me to save him all this time, and wanted to break me just to save him. I'm suddenly very grateful that the Shadow showed me what happened. Because, if it hadn't, I may have given in, I may have broke. Now, that's the last thing that is going to happen. And, it also helped me see past his lies easily.

"Don't give me that crap," I reply, acidly. "If you wanted me to save you, you wouldn't have tried to push me over the edge. You would have told me as soon as you realized I was a Dreamer, and try to make me feel sorry for you. Instead, you kidnapped me, and tried to break me. Not because you wanted me to save you, but because this is all a game to you."

Pan looks at me, pleadingly, but I don't buy it. He sees it, but he still acts unsure and different. I still can't tell if he's acting again, but I wouldn't put it past him.

"I _had_ to kidnap you, Vin," he insists. "There was no other way."

_Yeah, right. He just had to kidnap me, and spend over a decade trying to break me and brainwash me by tearing me between my love for Abby and Bae, and my love for the Lost Boys. _

"And you expect me to believe that?" I ask, folding my arms. "After everything you've put me through, you expect me to believe there was no other option but kidnapping me and spending years trying to break me?"

Pan shrugs, looking upset, but also afraid. What could he possibly be afraid of?

"Think, Vin," he replies, as if it is obvious but impossible to explain. "I had to test your power, so I needed to draw you to Neverland. To do that, I took your sister, so that you would follow her here. I saw your power, and I knew you were the one who had what it took to save me. But, I had to know if you would be willing. If...If you loved someone enough to make the sacrifice when it counted."

_The sacrifice when it counted? But that doesn't make any...wait…_

"The deal," I murmur, starting to catch on. "That's why you forced me into the deal to free Abby. You needed to be sure I would willingly give myself up for someone I cared about. So, you offered to let Abby go if I gave up my freedom. To see if I could give up something valuable to me, so I could do it again when the time came."

Pan nods, confirming it.

_That's what this has all been about. He realized I would give myself up for the people I love. That's why he's been trying to break me. _

He wants me to give into him; he wants me to _care_ about him. Because when I break, he would have complete control over me. He would ask me to sacrifice myself to save him, and I would do it, because he would have me at his beck and call.

That means, whatever his plans are, it will involve me probably dying to save him. He would have me break, and care for him. All so that I would be willing to give up my life without a second thought. He took me from my family, and has put me through so much, just so that I would sacrifice myself for him.

I'm not angry, but I don't feel sorry for him either.

All of those things he did, it was all so that he could kill me. He has been hoping to lead me down on a leash, lay down, and die for him. He was breaking me to kill me. And what's worse, he turned breaking me into a game. He made it his obsession to break me and treated it like a big game, so that I would be willing to save him.

"You disgust me," I say coldly.

Pan blinks, and his expression is surprised, yet desperate. But, no, I don't buy it. He is only trying to save himself, and he's been trying to break me to do it.

"All the crap you've put me through," I snarl, glaring daggers at him. "Every push, every shove, every time you manipulated me, tried to get under my skin. That was all so that you could brainwash me, so that I would risk my life for you. You are a _sadist_, Pan. A sick _sadist_."

"I know," Pan replies, immediately, as if he expected it. "I know. I'm desperate, Vin. I have some years left, yes. But when you've lived for centuries, especially on Neverland, a few decades is only a matter of weeks. My time is running out, and I'm running out of options."

Does he expect me to feel sorry for him? He's lived for centuries, taking kids from their families, and tricking them into thinking that they need him. He would have done the same to me if I hadn't made the connection between Jess and Vin.

"My heart bleeds for you," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "After all, you've only put me through hell in the last decade alone, and one of your last options is that I sacrifice myself so you can put me through hell for the rest of eternity."

Pan raises his hands to his head, as if trying to find a way to comprehend what is going on. His eyes are full of unshed tears.

He's going to cry...somehow I know that this is real. Those tears are real. None of this is going according to his plan, and he's seeing everything he's worked for unravel in minutes. I'd pity him if his plans weren't twisted.

"I don't want it to be you, Vin," he says, stepping closer to me. "I don't want you to save me. You were supposed to be a back-up plan; a fail-safe to buy me extra time, in case the thing that _could_ save me did not come in time. But the thing I need… there haven't been any signs of it appearing. The more time goes by, the more likely it will be that it would be you."

That doesn't make me feel better. It means that he may not have even needed me. I was brought here just in case. If, God forbid, it works out and he lives forever, that means that everything I've gone through will have been for nothing.

"But, you are the most powerful Dreamer, and I couldn't lose that chance," Pan continues.

He steps closer to me, and I don't back away. I'm not afraid of him anymore, so I don't see any reason to move. He wrings his hands, and again I'm struck at how uncoordinated and unsure his movements are.

"I had to take you, and let Neverland preserve you," he explains. "Before you grew up, and I lost my chance. Once I knew you were the one, I had to take you. I knew that as long as you had your sister, you wouldn't risk your life for me, so I had to break you. I had to do it, Vin."

Once, I might have fallen for this. I may have done it, when he first brought me to Neverland. Maybe out of sympathy, or compassion, or just because I'd be letting a damn person die.  
But, even now, as I look him, I don't see someone desperate to keep on living. I see the person who imprisoned me, took everyone I love away from me, and tried to break me to save himself. I've made my peace with that, and I'm never going to break. But that doesn't change what I see when I look at him. What my sixth sense tells me every time he is close to me. What I feel every time I see him or think of him.

I look at him, and I see evil in the shape of a boy.

And, something tells me that no matter how badly he wants to convince me that his actions are justified, whatever he wants me to do is going to be wrong. He had to give up his own son to become young and stay young. He just admitted that he kidnapped me and tried to break me so I would risk my life or safety for him. And when he found out that I wouldn't break, he turned to hurting me physically.

Whatever it is that's supposed to save him, it won't be good. Because in all my time that I've been here, I've never seen him make a good, selfless decision. He's all but told me that he chose me to save him because he knew I would make the selfless decision. One that he will never make.

_But he's dying,_ a voice tells me in the back of my head. S_houldn't that stand for something? _

Part of me-probably the same part that makes me love the Lost Boys- wants to say that it should. That, as a dying man, Pan's actions are understandable. Anyone would do anything they could to avoid death. Some would stoop to desperate measures.

And, if I can help him, if I can save him, then maybe he has a chance to redeem himself. Maybe, he'll turn around, with the threat of death no longer hanging over his head.

Maybe, if I saved him, he would become good. Like the character from the story everyone knows and loves.

_And I would be the one who would have saved him. If I save him, I could help him. I could help him be a better person. All I would have to do is-_

My thoughts are cut off when Toodles almost collides with me. He dodges at the last minute, but still bumps hard into me.

I start, and turn to Toodles, ready to check if he's hurt. But, if he is, he doesn't wait long enough for me to look. He is already back on his feet, dancing too the music only he and the other Lost Boys can hear.

While all of this has run through my head, I hadn't realized how I've just stood still, staring at Pan. For his part, he doesn't try to turn it into banter or flirting. Just waits for me to make up my mind. But, while I was thinking it all over, while I've had this entire conversation with Pan, I forgot for a minute about the boys. How they are still under Pan's spell.

I turn to them, and watch them dance around the flames, blissfully unaware of what's truly going on.

_All of these boys had families once. All of them had parents who loved them, maybe brothers or sisters who cared about them the same way I care about them. _

When I first came here, Pan had told me that the Dreamers before me had all failed. And he had tested every one of them the same way he tested me. Steal the person who they love most, draw them to Neverland in their dreams, let them find camp, and cast a spell to wake them up. If they woke up before they could make a deal, he kept their loved one.

I never thought about what he did to these loved ones afterwards. What he did to make Toodles, and the younger ones, who still cry at night, believe that he was their family. How he convinced Felix to think of Sebastian as Rufio. Or how he convinced Sebastian that he was really Rufio.

_I'm not the first,_ I realize. _He has broken every last Lost Boy, in one way or another. Not to save himself, but because it was a game to him. I'm not the first one he's tried to break. I'm just the one who put up the biggest fight. _

"No," I murmur.

Pan blinks, clearly not expecting that to be my answer.

"What?" he asks, his voice still surprised and desperate. Yet I can still detect a dangerous hint behind the question.

I force myself to turn away from the Lost Boys, and to look at him. He is surprised, unsure, and desperate. He will do anything to get me to help him. Even if it means trying to break me.

_Well, bring it on. I'm not playing your game. I stopped playing when I got Bae out. _

"I said 'no,'" I reply firmly, looking him straight in the eye.

Pan shakes his head, and tries to step closer. I hold up a hand though, signalling him to stop. I don't know what will come from this, or how he'll react. But, damn it, he will hear what I have to say.

"You say that you had to kidnap and break me?" I ask, repeating what he told me. "Because I'm one of the few people who can save you? Well, you did a good job on picking your people. I was actually considering it. I was truly considering helping you. Why? Because even though you're the slimiest scum on a rat's ass that I've met, you are still a person. And maybe, just maybe, if I could save you, you would turn yourself around. You could become a better person.

"But then I looked at those boys."

At this, I raise my hand, pointing at the boys, who are all still dancing. If I could, I would free them now. From Pan, from Neverland, from everything. I would do it in a heartbeat. That is something I know he will never do.

"And it occurred to me that I'm not the first one you've broken. That in some way or another, you have broken _them_. You take who they are, tear them down, and mold them into the people you want them to be. Then, you tell them that they are alone, and you can take care of them. That's how you create your 'family.'"

Pan clearly doesn't like how this conversation his going. He still looks desperate, but I'm starting to see hints of fear and...anger in his eyes.

Maybe I should be afraid. Maybe I should back off, and not let his anger hurt me.

But, I'm not afraid. Because he can't break me. I knew that already. But, what's more, I'm standing up for them. For the boys. My family. They are my brothers, my Lost Boys. And I'm their Lost Girl. Not Pan's Lost Girl, _their_ Lost Girl.

"You claim that breaking me was your only option?" I ask, even though the question is rhetorical. "That's a load of crap. You knew that breaking me would have it's advantages, yeah. But the real reason you've wanted to break me is because to you, I'm just another round of the game. To you, I'm just another kidnapped kid you can't wait to break. If I save you, you're just going to keep trying to break me, and break however many helpless kids you kidnap. Because breaking me has just been a game to you. I've just fought for so long, that winning this game became your obsession."

Pan suddenly teleports in front of me, looking more desperate than I believed possible.

Not because I'm not going to save him, I think. But because he knows what's coming.

"Don't you dare," he somehow hisses, even though there is no 's' in that sentence. "Don't you dare say it, Vin."

_I am not afraid of him. I never had to be._

"That's why you just jumped me," I whisper, looking him straight in the eye. "Not because I knew about your son. That surprised you, sure, but it wasn't that I knew that got you riled up. It was that you knew that my father left me and Abby for someone else. And that the similarity between his story and your's would not go past me. You knew that I would never trust you, and that because of that, I would never break.

"You saw that you had just lost the game."

Red hot pain hits me before I realize what's going on. For a second, all I see is red, my cheek stings like it's been stung by twenty bees. The red passes, and I see stars as my hand instinctively goes to my cheek. I blink, and the stars go away.

Pan is staring down at me, his expression a mix of everything but positive emotions. And the way he's holding his hand…

_Did he just slap me? _

I blink again, trying to get over the surprise. He's resorting to physical abuse now. But...for all his power, all his magic, and he had to resort to _slapping_ me?

The idea seems so stupid, that I can't help the small laugh that escapes me. I turn back to him, grinning.

"Do you feel better now?" I ask, unable to suppress a smile.

Pan's hand flies up again, and I instinctively reach out and catch him at the wrist. And...what I feel is everything opposite from what his face shows me.

He's lost me. He's lost whatever hold he's had on me. He realizes that I'm not going to save him, because I know he won't change. He's had centuries to change, to become a better person, but he's still kidnapping kids and breaking them. I'm not going to save him, because quite frankly, I think his time should have come long ago.

He sees that, and that scares him. He sees that I'm gone, and that angers him. He's desperate, but somehow, I don't care.

I won. And that makes me happy. It makes me strong, in control. For once, I'm the one who is in control, not him.

"No, Pan," I say, still not releasing his arm. "I'm not a toy for you to play with. I'm a Lost Girl, and one of the Lost Ones. And, no matter how desperate you are, I'm not going to help you."

With that I release his arm. He lowers it, but doesn't say a word. There really isn't anything left to say.

He's lost, and he knows it.

Suddenly, his hand reaches out, and touches me on the forehead.

* * *

Before I can react, I'm in broad daylight, in...a tree?

I'm sitting in the middle of a tree, on a thick branch.

_Why am I up in a tree? Come to think of it, where's Pan? Or the camp, or the Boys?_

Wait...I know this tree. I didn't realize it until just now, but I know it. I've climbed it so many times myself. I'm in the Pixie Dust Tree again.

"What are you playing at, Pan?" I ask out loud, looking around me. "Why did you put me here?"

I look around, but nothing around me seems different or important. What is Pan's game here?

I hear a snap of a twig, and I look down from my perch in time to see someone pull himself up on the branch I'm sitting on. Except, he's an adult. And I've seen him before…

I let out a small gasp of shock as I realize that I'm look at Pan as was before. I'm seeing him before he traded his son.

_This is a memory. Pan's memory. _

_Why is Pan showing me his own memories? What's his endgame here?_

Pan as an adult doesn't notice me, just like it was when the Shadow showed me the memory of Pan. He settles on one branch, and reaches for a flower just out of his reach in the branch above him. He struggles for a few seconds, but I can tell he isn't going to reach it. The man gives up, before noticing a blossom further down.

The look on his face is both greedy and gleeful, and I can already see marks of the person who will become the leader of the Lost Boys in his eyes. Eagerly, he reaches out, and pinches the dust out of the pink flower, sprinkling it over him.

Even though I know what will happen, I still wait with baited breath, as he closes his eyes with a blissful expression.

"I want to fly," he mutters, as if wishing on a star.

He opens his eyes, and looks out expectantly, clearly believing that he is about to fly.

_Yeah, that's not going to work. _

He sees it too, when he doesn't take off. His face falls with disappointment and confusion, just as a familiar rattling sound fills the air. Even in the memory, I can sense the condensed power of Neverland in the Shadow. It flies past in a dark blur, and Pan looks around, fear taking over. He seems to now be aware that he's not alone in the tree. And not because I'm witnessing his memory.

"H-Hello," he called out hesitantly. "Is someone there?"

Strange. I can tell he doesn't know everything about Neverland. Not yet. Or else he would be more than just afraid of the Shadow. He'd have wet himself by now. But, even now, he can still sense that the Shadow is not something to be played with.

The Shadow streaks past him again, before hovering across from him, watching him as it breathes its rattling breath.

_Something seems off about this. The Shadow...it claims it doesn't like Pan. Why is it here now? Why is it waiting for Pan to do something instead of acting now? _

"Who are you?" asks Pan, clearly afraid of the Shadow, but still putting his fear aside.

"I am the sole inhabitant of Neverland," replies the Shadow.

The answer clearly does nothing to soothe Pan. Even though I hate him, I can't help but feel a little sorry for the guy. I know myself how daunting the Shadow can be.

"Tell me what's wrong," he says...almost pleads. "Why can't I fly?"

"You have to believe," the Shadow drawls, as if it were obvious.

"I've tried," protests Pan. "But it doesn't work."

"Because you don't _belong_ here," replies the Shadow, in a tone that suggests it would be best if he left now.

Pan cringes, hearing the threat underneath the Shadow's words. If he were smart, he'd probably clear out right now. But I know he won't. I've seen what happens, I know how this will end.

"But...I always came here as a child," he says, unable to understand what is going on.

_The idiot. That was only in dreams. Now, he's here physically, and he's an adult. I could have told him this._

"That's because you were a child," replies the Shadow coldly, as if he couldn't care less about the man's confusion. "You are an adult, now, and you can't fly."

Pan's face falls, but he still pushes on.

"I want to fly," he insists. "How do I do it?"

"By becoming young again," the Shadow answers.

Wait. I don't like where this is going. I know the Shadow knows how Pan became young again. But, it never told me that it actually helped Pan become young.

_Don't jump to conclusions. For all I know, it could have just given him the idea. _

"How do I do that?" Pan asks, almost groveling for an answer. Pathetic.

The Shadow moves, as if to fly away, but Pan reaches out to stop it.

"Please," he almost shouts. "Please, just tell me how to become young again, I'm begging you."

The Shadow stops, and, like always, I can't tell what it's thinking.

_I don't like this. I really, really don't like this._

"By believing that you are young again," it replies after a long pause.

"How can-" Pan starts, before the Shadow turns to him.

"By letting go of the one thing holding you back," it replies, as if it were obvious. "The one thing that will remind you that you were an adult once."

It's as if my heart drops to my stomach.

I can't believe what I'm seeing. It just shouldn't be real. It feels so wrong, and yet it fits perfectly. How else would he know to give up his son to become a boy again? The only way he would know is because the Shadow told him.

The Shadow, my guardian against Pan, against any danger does not just know what he is. He made him. He told him to give up his son. Sure, Pan gave up his son. That is wrong, and I still hate him for it. But, the Shadow knew. It made Peter Pan. And it never told me.

_It just told me enough to make me not trust Pan, and nothing else. It never told me it was there from the start. Ever since the Shadow first talked to me, it's been _lying _to me._

All this time, I've trusted it to help me, and it's been holding out on me. Lying to me. How could it do this? How could it never tell me that it was the one who helped Pan make the decision to stay in Neverland, and give up his son?

_Is that Pan's game? Drive a wedge between me and the Shadow? _

Well, he succeeded in one part. I'm not sure I will be able to trust the Shadow after witnessing this. But, that doesn't make me trust him more. I know that the Shadow has some of the blame, but Pan made his own choice when he chose to give up his son. I am not going to change my mind just because he shows me something the Shadow failed to mention.

* * *

Before I can make more of the situation, something changes.

I'm no longer in the tree, but standing in the middle of a large cave. Somehow, I know this is another memory. Except, I haven't seen this place before.

The walls of the cave are covered with rocks of all sizes, shaped like skulls. Two large round holes let light in, along with two narrow slits on the same wall. Around the rest of the cave are torches, burning. And, in the center, on a pile of metal skulls is a giant hourglass, with golden sand trickling down to the bottom of the glass. There's a lot of sand, and it seems to be going pretty slow. There's barely grain at the bottom. I don't even know if this is Neverland. I just know that I haven't been here before.

_One of Pan's memories, then._

As if to confirm my memory, someone flies through the eye hole, glowing with Pixie Dust. I only have to take one look to recognize Pan. The Pan I know, who had already given up his son.

_What is he doing? Why is he showing me this memory? _

Pan lands on the cave floor, and surveys his surroundings, as I did seconds ago.

The Shadow flies out from behind the hour glass with a rattling breath, and watches Pan as he looks around.

"What is this place?" asks Pan, taking in the different skulls and torches. "I don't remember seeing it in my dreams."

"That's because it didn't exist," replies the Shadow, in it's high, cold voice. "It was created when you made the decision to stay here."

_So, this is a memory of just after Pan gave up his son. _

The Shadow hovers next to Pan, but if Pan is still afraid, he doesn't show it. I'm not sure if he picked up the barest hint of resentment in the Shadow's voice when he mentions Pan staying in Neverland. Already, it's regretting helping Pan. I don't blame it. _But, why couldn't it have just told me? _

"A giant skull?" Pan asks, looking around with a grin. "It's glorious."

_A giant skull...ah, now I get it. The infamous Skull Rock of Neverland. _

Pan turns, and steps over to the hourglass, looking curious.

"What's the hourglass for?" he asks, voicing my own thoughts, as he turns to the Shadow.

"It represents the magic that's fueling your youth," replies the Shadow. "The magic that's allowing you to stay here. To stay young."

Pan turns back to the glass, and I can see some worry beneath his calm exterior.

"What happens when it runs out?" he asks, and I can hear the fear lacing his question.  
"Your youth will be taken," replies the Shadow. "And you will die."

Pan's expression falls, and he turns to the Shadow, fear now clearly etched across his features. The same fear that he felt when he saw I would not help him.

"But I thought I was going to stay here forever," he said, sounding both afraid and confused.

"Neverland is a place for children to visit in their dreams," replies the Shadow, calmly, as if it couldn't care less about Pan dying. "Not a place for them to live. You were the first one to try and stay here, and in doing so-"

It's voice takes a dangerous tone as it hovers closer to Pan, glaring at him with it's glowing eyes.

"You've broken the rules."

It doesn't like this. It is Neverland's guardian, it wouldn't be happy that Neverland's rules were broken. But, if that's the case, why did it help him in the first place? It's the freaking Shadow? How could it not see this coming with Pan? He was willing to give up his own son, for crying out loud.

"Any rule can be broken," Pan replies, once again showing no sign that he saw what the Shadow meant. "I mean, look at this place. I created this without even thinking about it. Anything is possible."

"Perhaps," agreed the Shadow, but it gives no sign that it was going to help him. That doesn't seem to have any effect on Pan, though. He just nods, looking at the glass. He certainly is handling this better than I thought he would.

_Of course, he just became young again. He probably thinks he's invincible. This was before he met me._

"Then, I'll find a way," he says firmly, as if making a promise. Whether to himself, or to the Shadow, I don't know.

"I believe."

With that, he turns away from the hour glass, and looks at the Shadow again.

"What if others were to come?" he asks, sounding curious. "If I brought other boys? Would they stay young?"

Unbelievable. Is he already planning to abduct the boy and make the Lost Ones? He's more slippery than I thought.

"Their youth would be fueled by the same magic that fuels yours," replies the Shadow, floating upwards. "Bringing companions would make your youth run out faster. Unless, the companions were Dreamers or Believers."

Pan looks up at the Shadow, an eyebrow cocked in confusion.

"A Dreamer?" he repeated. "What is that?"

"Dreamers and Believers are people who have special hearts," the Shadow explains, as it starts to fly in circles around the room. "Neverland's magic flows through them as easily as water through a stream. Neverland would be able to provide them with eternal youth and magic as long as they stayed."

Pan nods, looking back to the hourglass. Already, there is an eager gleam in his eye that I know all too well. He gets it every time he looks at me.

"Well, I'm planning to stay forever," he remarks, intently watching the sand. "I've got time. Let's play."

* * *

I gasp, as the memory fades, and I'm back in Pan's camp.

Pan removes his fingers from my forehead, and watches me with concern. Beside us, the boys still dance to his pipes. I just hope I haven't been out for a long time, because that would mean the boys would have danced for a long time. Then again, they already danced too much before Pan played the pipes.

_Why did Pan just show me that? What is he playing at, showing me what happened between him and the Shadow?_

The Shadow. The thing _lied_ to me. All this time, it never told me it was the one who told him how to become young again. How it was the one who told him to give up his son. And, it told him about Dreamers. _It told him about me._

Pan made the decision to give up his son, and to kidnap me. I hate him so much for that, already. But, the Shadow has been keeping secrets from me this entire time. And, I don't know why. That makes it even worse.

_Oh, God. It was lying to me, this entire time, and I trusted it!_

My knees suddenly buckle out from under me, whether from exhaustion or just seeing the memory, I don't know. Luckily, Pan catches me underneath the arms before I fall.

"You're alright, Vin," he reassures me as helps me stand back up. "Just a little side effect from seeing the memories. I'm sorry about that."

I don't reply, but use him for support to get back on my feet again.

_What he just showed me was... I don't even know what that was. He showed me why he gave up his son, but that in no way justifies what he did. He knows I won't change my mind because of it, so why show me? To make me lose trust in the Shadow?_

"What was that?" I ask, as shake my head, trying to clear it. "Why did you-"

"I'm sorry," Pan replies earnestly, cutting me off. "I'm sorry, but I had to. You needed to know why I did it. Why I gave up my son, why I started the Lost Boys, why I took you. If I told you any other way, you would never believe me."

_I still don't. For all I know, those memories are lies. For all I know, he is just trying to manipulate me again, to pull me back into his game. _

"And why would you show me those things?" I ask. "What are you trying to accomplish with me seeing those?"

My eyes are stinging with tears suddenly, but I don't know why. Pan, however, sees them and looks away guiltily.

"I knew if I told you, you would not believe me," he replies. "You would say that I was lying, or trying to break you. It was the only way to tell you the truth, and for that, I needed to show you the whole truth. About how I gave up my son, about everything."

_Now, he's just confusing me. The truth about what? That the Shadow lied to me? That would do no good, because he did not deny that he gave up his son. _

Then, what? What happened after he gave up his son? How he knows he's going to die? None of those things make a difference to me. So, why show me any of that?

"I don't get it," I mutter. "What are trying to tell me, Pan?"

I wait for him to break down pleadingly, or to come at me, asking why I can't just break. Instead, he turns away from me, and looks at the Lost Boys.

"I know you care for them, Vin," he says, nodding at them, as they dance. "I do too."

_No, he doesn't. If he did, he would not force them to dance, or try to rename them like he did with Sebastian or me. _

"It may not always show," Pan adds, catching the look on my face. "But they are my family. My only family since I gave up my son."

He turns back to me, and I recognize the expression on his face. I saw it in the mirror every day after my dad left, and I had to take care of Abby for a year. The look I still wear around the Lost Boys, now. The look that says 'I'm one of the few people who care for them, and I'm going to do everything in my power to look after them.'

"You saw how much sand was in the glass, Vin," Pan says. "I should have centuries and centuries to live. But, I don't. I have less than two decades. Because every time I take in a new Lost Boy, they will age and die. Unless I give some of my years, a little more sand with every boy. It's my years that are keeping them alive, Vin. What happens when the sand runs out?"

My heart plunges as I realize what he's saying. What he's been trying to tell me this entire time. He knew if he told me any other way, I would hate him for trying to use the boys against me. But, now I see the truth. The reason why I need to give up my life to save Pan. The reason why the Shadow never showed me the memory of Pan in Skull Rock. The reason Pan wanted me to grow close to the Lost Boys.

Pan nods, seeing that I finally understand.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't want to burden you with knowing. I had hoped, if you had just played the game, and lost, you would have done it, no questions asked. I'm sorry, but after I saw you wouldn't break, I had to tell you the truth."

And he's right. There wouldn't have been any other way.

It's not just Pan's life that I need to save. It's the lives of every Lost Boy here in Neverland.

* * *

**A/N: **

Uhhh, h-hey guys...long time, no see...

Alright, before we go any further: I am _so_ sorry about the late update. The last couple weeks have just been hectic. One week, I was flying to D.C for most of the week. The next, I was flying to St. Louis for the weekend, and that took up most of my time. This week was me catching up on everything. Not to mention, this chapter was a bi-*remembers younger readers*- a big, bad chapter to write. But, thank you so much for your patience! Y'all are the best, I'm not kidding!

Also...y'all...THIRTY-FOUR REVIEWS FOR ONE CHAPTER?! Y'all are making me cry tears of joy, while dancing a happy dance! I can't even...I don't even think there's a word for y'all. Seriously, y'all, thank you so, so, so much!

A special thanks to **TalkMarvelToMe, luvduv123, sci. fi. geek. fantastic, RikkiBlake777, coveryoureyes, TheDevilsDaughter267, **and **dj1154 **for putting this story on alert, and to **The-Effulgent-One, TalkMarvelToMe, all alone loner, luvduv123, sci. fi. geek. fantastic, Lilith123, RikkiBlake777, coveryoureyes, TwoHeartPieces, **and **TheDevilsDaughter267** for favoriting it.

Also a really big thank you to **sarah0406, chinaluv, peterpanlover, mercenary2.0, The Wolf Who Writes, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Dreamer-Girl96, meguhanu, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, The-Effulgent-One, The girl who cried I'm Batman, scorpiongirl92, Kiyoshi MizukiAtobe, kksambo, Elvira Silver, Taeniaea, songwriter16, luvduv123, **shootingstar1618, Lauren, SuperFanNumber1, DaEpicPerson, Bailey, Anonymous, twenty-four24, and the many guests who left incredible reviews. And, finally, a special thanks to **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms **and **Uncommon fairy, **for being awesome betas. Seriously, y'all...thank you so much for your support and patience!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on...everything, I guess... are really appreciated. This chapter was so tough, so I'm really eager to hear your thoughts! **:)**

Oh, and for anyone looking for a good Dark Knight story, might I recommend **Irish Luck 19's **_Unmasked_ and _Untrusted_. As far as Dark Knight stories go, her's are absolutely flawless.


	40. Chapter 40

I turn to Pan, unsure what to do. He looks at me, as if waiting to see my reaction.

But, to be honest, I don't know _how_ I'm supposed to react. If Pan is telling me the truth, then that means that this goes beyond him dying. It's everyone. Every last boy here is dying, and I may be one of the few people who can save them.

Suddenly, the choice to not help Pan becomes less clear. When it was just him, I was alright with not helping him. I was fine with letting him die. It was no less than he deserves. But, this is all of them. Not just Pan. It's Toodles, Felix, Slightly, Nibs, the Twins, Marcus, everyone. If I let Pan die, they all die.

And, if I save them, I save Pan. He will still live forever, because of me, and still probably put me through hell again. If I save Pan, he will still be around to torment, torture, or break any new Lost Boy he abducts. How many more boys will suffer because I help him live?

It doesn't matter, though. Not with this. This is the Lost Boys at stake here. I can stand Pan. I've done it for over a decade now. I'm going to be here forever, so I may as well get used to it. But, the Lost Boys are my family. I am not going to let them die. I _won't_ let them die.

_I wouldn't give up my life for Pan. He doesn't deserve that. But, I would gladly give my life for each one of them. If the price of that is saving Pan as well, so be it. _

_Be careful,_ a voice says in the back of my head. _Pan has lied and manipulated you before. He may be doing it again. _

I don't think so. He's dying. He's trying to save himself, and everyone else. I think this is too big for him to lie.

_All the same…._

"How do I know you're not lying?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure he's not.

Pan looks me in the eye, dead serious. The last time I saw him this serious was years ago, at that cliff. When he made me drink the water.

"I'm dying, Vin," he replies, solemnly. "Do you really think I would lie about something like this?"

I would hope not. I would hope he wouldn't stoop so low as to use these boys against me, to save himself.

"You said yourself, you're dying," I point out. "You would say anything to get me to help you. Even lie to me that the Lost Boys are at risk to get me to help you."

Pan nods, as if he was expecting that. He knows how much I don't trust him. He knows he'll have to say something I believe to get me to believe him.

"You're right, Vin, I am dying," he admits. "We both know that. And, I am getting desperate, so it is only fair that you be suspicious that I'm lying to you."

_How does this help his case? _

He steps forward, and for once, I'm not bothered by the sense of darkness that I always feel around him. Maybe because I'm not afraid, but wary. Maybe because he's being honest. I honestly have no idea.

"You're right, you don't know if I'm lying. The question is," Pan continues, "are you willing to take the risk? Are you willing to take the risk that I am lying to you, when you know it may cost them their lives?"

I blink, taken aback. That was not the reply I was expecting.

Then again, I was expecting him to slip up. To say something that I could argue against, to find some flaw, just in case he's lying.

What if he is? He never said that he wasn't. If he is lying, then I'm going to put my life on the line to save him. The last person who deserves to be saved. If he is lying, playing me again, then I'll just be playing his game.

_But, what he said...are you willing to take the risk? _

What if he's right? What if the Lost Boys really are dying? If I play it safe, if I decide not to do it, then they could die. All of them would die, because I would not trust Pan. Pan, doesn't deserve my trust and yet...if he's right, then they are all going to die. Every last one. Unless I do something.

He could be lying. He could be playing me. But, what if he isn't? Am I ready to take on that burden if the Boys die because of me? I thought I was a monster for almost killing Felix. How would I fare with all of their blood on my hands?

_I can't let them die,_ I realize. _I need to take that leap of faith, and trust him. Because, the alternative is waiting, letting them die, and not being able to save them until it is too late._

"No," I murmur. "I'm not ready to take the risk."

_I need to save them. I need to save them all. If I save Pan in the process, if I die because of it, so be it. _

"What do I have to do?" I ask, turning to Pan.

Pan lets out a sigh, as if in relief.

He didn't know if I would do it. He didn't know if I would be willing to save him, and put my life on the line. But, it's not for him. It's for them. And, if it turns out he is lying to me, if he is using them to get my help, I walk away and let him die like the cockroach he is.

_And, if I'm going to be doing this, I'm going to need to set a few things straight. _

"But, I want to make it clear," I say, catching him before he can say anything. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for them."

Pan nods, still looking relieved.

"I understand, Vin," he replies.

"And," I add, "before we go any further, you will release them from the music now."

Pan blinks, as if startled by my request. Is he seriously that surprised that I would tell him to stop the dancing, after I've experienced it myself?

"Not all of them know, Vin," he says tentatively. "I would prefer it stay that way. Like this, they can't hear-"

"I know," I snap, cutting him off sharply. "I was under the spell once, remember? The music is like a drug; you aren't aware of what's going on around you. But, if I'm going to be helping you, I'm not just going to sit around while you control them. No, you are letting them go right now, and then we can talk somewhere private."

Pan pauses, and I feel another wave of disgust in how he uses the music to control the boys. Maybe that control is just as much a drug to him as the music is to those who dance. If it is, it's disgusting. How he can take pleasure from controlling these boys the way he does is still beyond me.

"Do it now," I snap. "Or I walk away, and find some other way to save them, and leave you behind."

Pan still hesitates, even after the threat, but he eventually nods, and closes his eyes. I feel a brief rush of magic, like a breeze, as the boys all suddenly stop. Some bend down, panting, while others just collapse. But, they all seem alright.

"Happy?" asks Pan, nodding to them.

I look over them quickly. They seem worn out, which is understandable, but some are already on their feet again. If they dance as often as I suspect, then they're probably used to it. They should be fine.

_They don't know the truth. They don't know that they are going to die unless I help them. I need to keep it that way. I won't put that worry on their shoulders, that they could die if Pan and I fail. _

I turn to Pan, and nod, letting him know I'm ready to talk. Pan turns, but not to lead me away. Instead, he turns to the boys, and shouts, "Felix, get over here!"

_Wait, what? Felix? What does that bastard have to do with any of this? I thought Pan and I were going to keep it a secret from the other boys for a reason. Why is he suddenly dragging Felix into this? _

Pan catches my confused look, and gives me a look that says: '_trust me. '_

_Not in a million years. _

Felix, who is already on his feet, makes his way over to us. He still looks tired, and just as confused as I am. Good, at least we're on the same page with that.

"What-" I ask as Felix arrives, but Pan cuts me off with a look, and beckons that Felix and I follow him.

_Oh, now he's going to leave. Not before explaining, but when we're away? Really? This is him just being a drama queen again. He really hasn't changed in the last decade. _

Felix and I share a glance, before following him into the jungle, away from the camp, and any prying ears. I still am angry at him, but that doesn't mean he isn't confused as I am about this.

_What is Pan playing at this time? _

None of us say anything as Pan leads us further in. For all I know, this is a trap.

I wouldn't put it past Pan to try to pull something. Isolate me from the Lost Boys, have Felix to hold me down while Pan takes whatever it is that he needs to survive. I doubt he would try something like that when I've just willingly volunteered, but all the same, I keep a grip on the knives up my sleeves. I don't want to end up unprepared with this.

I don't look at Felix, aside from the glance we shared when we started out, and I have no intention to unless it is absolutely necessary. He tortured Bae, and was willing to let him die. As far as I'm concerned, that makes him as guilty as the Shadow.  
_Seriously, why couldn't the Shadow have told me? Would it have been so hard to explain that it was the one who persuaded Pan to give up his son? _

Finally, Pan stops at a clearing, when the three of us are well away from the camp, and definitely alone. I even use my sixth sense to scan the area, and I know no one with magic is anywhere near.

_Great. No one to hear me scream._

"What is this about, Pan?" asks Felix, when Pan turns to us. "What's going on? I blacked out when you started playing your pipes, but-"

"I told her, Felix," Pan says, cutting his friend off.

Whatever Felix thought Pan was going to tell him, it clearly wasn't that. The expression on his face is both shocked, upset, and angry. I can tell he already knows what Pan is talking about, even if he doesn't say it.

_What happened to not telling anyone, Pan?_

"You told her?" he repeats, stunned. "You told her about you-"

Pan nods, looking a little guilty, but mostly anxious. I can tell he wants to do whatever this is as soon as he can, but he wants to wait for Felix to catch up as well. Felix, however, looks ready to throw something.

"How could you do that?" he all but shouts at Pan. "You ordered me and Marcus not to say anything when she came so that we wouldn't burden her. Those were your exact words. Why would you tell her now, of all times?"

"Because he had no choice," I interject, stepping forward. "He and I were arguing, and he accidently told me about me dying. I was planning to let him died, so he told me the whole truth."

_I don't see why Felix is so upset. I'm the one who is going to be risking their life, so that I can save him and everyone else here. _

Felix lets out a frustrated sigh, and runs a hand through his hair, just as Pan did when he told me the truth.

"You weren't supposed to know, though," he mutters. "Not unless we didn't get the heart that we needed."

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms in front of me. He's acting like a child, and it's annoying. I know now, and that's actually better than when I didn't know. At least now I know why all of this happened. I know why I was taken, why Pan needs me, why he's tried to break me. It's better than before, when I was completely ignorant.

For some reason, though, Felix doesn't seem to get it. Not that it matters. He probably was tempted to tell me, just so that he could burden and hurt me with it until he knew about the truth with Sebastian.

_Don't argue about it. Now is not the time. I can get angry later, but right now, this takes precedence. _

"Well, I know now," I point out. "That's not changing. Which leads me to my next question: what are we doing here?"

At this I turn to Pan, and give him a look that says it's time for him to explain. Pan nods, understanding, and steps forward.

"You asked what you needed to do, Vin?" he asked. "Well, it won't be easy. I'm just warning you now, it won't."

I figured as much, but that's not going to affect my decision. I need to save the boys. I need to. I won't let them die, when I have the chance to save them.

"What is it, Pan?" I ask, letting him know I'm willing to do what it takes.

Pan's eyes meet mine, and the look in them makes me wonder. Pan himself isn't sure if the price is too high.

_He doesn't know if it's too much for me to take. Is it? _

_It's for the Lost Boys,_ I tell myself. _I would do the same for Bae and Abby in a heartbeat, no matter the price. _

"You need to give me your heart," Pan says, then pauses, as if waiting for my reaction.

_Wait, what? My heart? He wants my heart? Is he insane? _

"I need to give you my what?" I ask, somewhat in shock, partway in disbelief.

He can't be serious. My heart?

_Oh dear God, I hope he doesn't mean that I have to fall in love with him. Because that is never going to happen. Then again, if he means literally...oh, that's gross. Forget gross, how would I even be able to survive that? _

"I know," says Pan, seeing the expression on my face. "It's a lot to ask for, but that is the price, Vin."

I shake my head, still trying to understand this. Never mind the fact he needs my heart, why does he even need a heart? How is a heart going to save him and the others from dying?

"I don't get it," I tell him. "Why a heart? How is that going to help anything?"

"And why _her_ heart?" Felix adds.

I shoot him a look, telling him to stay out of this. I'm still not sure why Pan brought him with us, but this is about Pan and me. Not him.

Felix catches my look, and shrugs.

"You know you were thinking it," he says defensively. "I was just saying it for you."

I want to snap at him to mind his own business, but Pan interrupts us by clearing his throat. We both turn to him, waiting for him to explain.

"It all comes down to who you are, Vin," Pan explains. "The reason I took you in the first place."

"I'm a Dreamer," I reply, nodding. "Yeah, I knew that already. But what does that-"

Pan holds up a hand, cutting me off.

"Yes, Vin," he says, his tone telling me to wait. "You are a Dreamer. But it's more complicated than that."

It always is when it comes to things like this. I cock an eyebrow, and gesture for him to explain.

"It comes down to magic," Pan explains. "And how it works. Most people say that someone powerful 'has magic.' But, really, it doesn't work like that. Magic is all around us, in the ground, the water, the air we breath. People who 'have magic' don't really have it all. But their hearts can take the magic around them, and channel it to do what they want. Someone who is powerful in magic can channel magic easily, while those who are weak have a harder time.

"The thing with magic though, is that it changes, depending on the realm. Magic in the Enchanted Forest-the world you saw in your dreams, Vin-is calm, controlled, and docile. It can be channeled easily. In your home world, Vin, there was _no_ magic. That was why you never realized you were a Dreamer, there was nothing to channel. But, here in Neverland, the magic is wild and unlimited. Just like dreams."

I find myself nodding, starting to understand what he's saying.

"So, I have the heart of a Dreamer, and I'm the most powerful one," I say, showing I'm starting to catch on. "Which means that I can channel Neverland's magic easily."

"Exactly," Pan replies, nodding. "Neverland's magic runs through you like water in a river. It's practically pouring through you with every second. It's running through you so much, it preserves you with youth, without any magic being used to keep you young."

"Like it does with you?" I ask.

This would explain why it was safe for him to take me. Why I am still alive, instead of dying with him and the Lost Boys.

"Like it does with me," Pan confirms, seeing that I'm getting it. "For me, magic had to be set aside to keep me alive. When it runs out, I'll have no more magic fueling my youth, and I'll die. I take away some of that magic, and I direct it to fueling the boys' youth instead of mine, which is why my time is running out so fast."

_It makes sense, but it still doesn't explain one glaring issue: why does he need my heart?_

"However, if I were to take you heart," Pan explains. "Your heart would become mine. Then, the power of Neverland would flow through me, giving me the youth I need without even trying. That's why I need your heart, Vin. That's why you are one of the few people who can save me."

It all adds up. It all seems to make sense. I give my heart to him, magic flows through him, and keeps him alive, and he can use the youth flowing through him to keep the Lost Boys alive. It seems to fit, but…

"You said I was a failsafe, though," I point out. "A backup, in case you never got what you needed. It seems to me that my heart would work fine."

Pan sighs, shaking his head.

"Not exactly," he says. "See, dreams can be fleeting. They can change with time, or fade, or get pushed back. They aren't constant. So, your heart would support me, but it would eventually change. It would stop, especially at the rate I would be using magic. It may buy me a day, at the most. That's why I need something slightly more constant. Something firmer."

He pauses, as if for effect.  
_Seriously? He's doing this still? Doesn't he recognize how serious this is?_

"Which is?" I prompt, pushing him to continue.

"The Heart of the Truest Believer," Pan replies. "The heart of the most powerful believer. Because, belief is so much harder to come by than dreams. And, once you believe in something, no matter how much you turn away from it, that belief will always be with you, in some way."

I nod, thinking it over. That would make sense, I guess. It definitely explains why my heart specifically won't work. Not permanently. And, I'm guessing the Heart of the Truest Believer hasn't appeared yet, because Pan is getting desperate. Which is why I'm the failsafe. I give him extra time, and he finds some way to save the boys with that extra time before my heart gives out.

"This is great, and all," Felix says, pulling me from my thoughts. "Now that she knows how it works. But, you haven't told her the price, Pan. She _needs_ to know that. If she's going to go through with this, she needs to know the price."

Pan shoots Felix an annoyed look, but I feel that Felix is onto something. If there is something Pan is not telling me about this whole exchange, I want to know about it. I look at Pan, who seems to be avoiding my eyes.

_He said this would require a sacrifice. But how is giving him my heart a...oh. I'm starting to get it now. _

"I'm not going to survive if I give you my heart, am I?" I ask, looking straight at Pan.

Pan pauses, then with a sigh, he turns to me, guiltily.

"I don't know that for sure, Vin," he replies, but he doesn't sound too sure of himself. "You could slip into a coma, become catatonic. But, yes, you will most likely die. A heart will support whatever body it is in. As soon as you put your heart in me, it will stop giving you life, and start supporting me. When this happens…"

"You get the youth," I finish, nodding. This was what I had been afraid of. "And I die, because I have no heart to keep me alive."

Pan looks away, as if he feels bad.

_He should. He's asking me to put my life on the line for him. To risk my life so that he has a few extra hours. His whole purpose of taking me was to lead me to this moment. To ensure that I would give him my heart, and save him._

And the Lost Boys. They are dying too. I give up my heart, and they can live. Maybe an extra day, maybe an extra hour, but if that hour buys them the time that they need to find some other way to survive, it's worth it. I die, and they live. That's what this is about. That's what this has always been about. From the beginning, Pan has wanted me, because he knew I would make the sacrifice if I had to.

_And, he's right. _

"What do I have to do?" I ask.

Somehow, even though I know I'm probably going to die, my voice is steady. As if I'm not afraid.

I feel like I should be afraid. I should have some doubt, because I shouldn't want to die. I should be afraid of dying. And, for some reason, I'm not. Somehow, knowing that my death will mean something, that it will save the boys, takes the horror out of dying.

Both Pan and Felix notice. They both look up at me in surprise, as if they never expected me to say that in a million years.

"Vin-" starts Felix, but I cut him off.

"I'm not going to do this, Felix," I say, sharply. "I'm not going to stand by, and let you all die when I can save you. If I die, I die. But if you, and the others die, when I could have saved you, then your blood is on my hands. I will be alone, and it will be my own fault. So, if you ask me, dying is a risk I'm willing to take if it means saving all of you."

Felix stares at me in shock, but Pan looks relieved. I don't wonder. I've all but said that I'm going to save his life. It isn't my intention, but I am saving him. If he can save the Lost Boys through my heart, then I am willing to save him. I don't like it, but I will. If I've learned anything since I've been on Neverland, it is that sometimes I have to lose something to do what really matters.

Like joining Pan to save Bae. And losing him so that he could live. Losing my heart and dying is a price I'm willing to pay, because it will save all of those I love.

"There is something we can do," Pan says nervously, as if he's not sure how Felix and I will take it.

Both Felix and I turn to look at him, and I can see him wringing his hands again.

_Oh, boy. He does that when he's out of control, and truly anxious. I'm not sure I'll like this. _

"Something we can do to see if your heart will work," Pan explains. "Before you give it to me, if you have too."

A way to test it. To see if it will work, so that we know for sure that my heart will play it's role when the time comes.

I glance at Felix, who nods. It doesn't seem like a big risk, so it seems to be worth the shot.

"Sounds fine," I say, looking back to Pan. "What is it?"

Pan looks from me to Felix, his expression unreadable. Hopefully, he didn't think that glance meant something else. Because that would just be awkward.

"You give your heart to Felix," Pan replies.

He didn't say that. No way, he could not have just said that. My heart to Felix? Really? It's bad enough I have to give it to him, but to Felix as well?

"It's a test, Vin," Pan assures me, quickly, as he sees the look on my face. "To make sure your heart does indeed work after you give it away. That way, we know that magic is still running through it, and then we give it back to you, before you die. As long as you get it back within an hour or two, you'll survive without a heart."

That does make it sound better. He's right, it is a good idea to test this out, before we put all our faith into me as a fail safe. Just in case. It sounds like Pan has thought this out fairly well, but all the same…

"You don't have to do this," Felix adds, earnestly, as if he is worried about me.  
_Like he ever cared. The only reason he has ever liked me is because he felt indebted to me for Sebastian. _

"You're right," I reply tersely. "I don't."

With that, I turn to Pan, and ask, "How do I do it?"

Pan gives me a small smile, and takes my hand. I half expect him to flirt with me, but instead, he waves his free hand over mine.

I can't suppress a small gasp as my hand starts to glow red. It just feels wrong. I know it's been infused with magic, but it is wrong. It's dark. It's not supposed to exist. It's wrong.

_But, if it helps, it's worth it. Right?_

"Just reach in, and take out your heart," Pan says, stepping back.

_I'm going to do this,_ I realize. _No joke, I'm truly going to take out my heart, and put it into some guy. And I may die from it. I'm seriously doing it. _

_Well, when in Rome...or Neverland, I guess. _

Taking a deep breath, I plunge my hand into my own chest.

Pain rushes through me as soon as my fingertips pass through. Not enough to stop, but enough to make me wince as my hand seems to pass all bone, tissue, and muscle, as it gropes around for my heart.

_Just keep going,_ I tell myself. _You've seen the Evil Queen do it a hundred times in your dreams. You can do it once. _

My hand grasps something hard, and I instinctively know it's my heart. I grip it and start to pull my hand out. The pain increases by a tenfold as my heart leaves my body. How can I describe the pain? There really is no better description, except it's like ripping my own heart out.

I gasp as my heart comes out, and the pain in my chest starts to recede. And, in my hand, I hold my own heart. And, I'm still alive.

_So that's what it feels like._

For a moment, I can only stare at my heart. In all my time in Neverland, I never really thought it would come to holding my own heart in my hand. But, here I am, staring at my heart from the outside, and still breathing.

The heart is shaped like all the hearts I saw the Evil Queen rip out in my dreams. It's glowing to, but I guess that is a thing with hearts, because all the ones that the Evil Queen ripped out glowed.

What really surprises me is the that the glow isn't like any I've seen before. When the Evil Queen ripped them out, they all had a soft red glow to them. But not mine. No, mine glows silver. Rather than a soft red glow, a pale silver color surrounds my heart.

I glance at Pan questioningly. He seems to know hearts pretty well. Maybe he knows why my heart can also double as a night light.

"The heart of a Dreamer," replies Pan, when he catches my look. "Powerful, and pure. How could your heart not glow?"

_That doesn't really-_

Suddenly, it hits me. I'm not sure what it is, but it just does. Even though my heart is in the palm of my hand, I can feel as if if something is rushing into it, and it absorbs it like a sponge. Something wild, powerful, and chaotic.

The feeling is strange, but it isn't unpleasant. It's like jumping off a height, but instead of landing, just falling, with the rush never ending.

Neverland's magic. My heart is physically exposed to it. It's taking the magic in, and absorbing it.

"Vin?" asks Felix, cautiously, stepping forward. "Are you alright?"

I'm not sure if I am. My heart is not where it's supposed to be, but somehow, there isn't anything wrong with it absorbing the magic.

_That's how powerful it is. The mere exposure of my heart to Neverland's magic is enough for the magic to almost physically rush through it. Let's see how it can do in someone else. _

"What's going to happen when I put it in Felix?" I ask, looking at Pan, still trying to recover from the shock.

Pan blinks, as if he was lost in thought. I'm not sure why he would be. I mean, it is my heart. Yet, when he glances at it, I feel like I can see something in his eyes. Not intrigue, or curiosity, like I'd expect. It's...almost predatory. Hungry.

For some reason, I'm suddenly glad I'm giving my heart to Felix, and not Pan.

"Your heart will turn to supporting Felix, instead of you," Pan replies, as if nothing is wrong. "The loss will knock you out, since you won't have a heart to keep you going. Felix will temporarily have two hearts, but the magic of Neverland should start flowing through him, channeled by your heart. Once we make sure it is, I'll take your heart back out, and put it in you."

I nod, knowing it makes sense.

_He knows I'm too valuable. He won't let me die. Besides, the game isn't up for him, yet. I still haven't broken. He'll want to keep me alive. _

Except...he said he was breaking me to make sure that I would give him my heart when the time came. But, I'm doing that now. Does that mean the game is over?

I'm not the only one hesitating. Felix doesn't look comfortable with the idea either.

"I don't like this," he mutters.

Somehow, that statement makes me angry.

He doesn't like this? Does he think that should make a difference to me? Bae didn't like it when he was tortured, and Felix still kept going. I begged Felix to let Bae go, because I didn't like Pan trying to kill him, and he did nothing. Now, he's uncomfortable with me giving him my heart. But, I'm not about to let some of his so-called "discomfort" if it means saving him and everyone else here on the island.

"Shut up, Felix," I say acidly, as I step forward.

Before he can do or say anything, I grab him by the shoulder with one hand, and with the other, I shove my heart into his chest. In a split second, I can feel it rushing past his bone and skin before taking it's place. I let go of my heart, bracing myself for my collapse.

And nothing happens.

I feel weaker, and tired all of a sudden. But, I don't collapse. I don't get knocked out. I'm still standing where I was before, right in front of Felix. Pan and Felix are also standing with me, but both are wearing shocked expressions, as if they have figured out what I haven't.

_But...my heart is in him. I know, I put it there. So why am I not-_

It dawns on me right there. Why Pan and Felix are so surprised. Why I'm not on the ground right now.

_Oh my God. It didn't work. I don't know why, or how, but for some reason, it didn't work. _

Somehow, I'm alive without my heart.

"I don't-" I start, but I'm suddenly cut off by Pan.

"No!" he snarls, sounding almost like an animal.

Before Felix or I can react, Pan lunges forward, and shoves me out of the way. In one swift movement, his hand goes into Felix, and comes out holding my silver heart.

It doesn't do anything. I feel less tired, now that it's out of Felix, but nothing else has changed. That is, until Pan turns to me. I only get a small glance, but his expression is worse than anything I've seen before. He's angry, far angrier than I've ever seen him. No, not angry. More like enraged. And desperate, and anxious, and-

My thoughts are suddenly cut off when Pan squeezes my heart.

If I thought ripping my heart out was painful, I had no idea what pain really was. The pain of ripping my heart out was quick, and faded as soon as my heart was out. But the pain I feel now, as Pan squeezes my heart is worse than anything I have ever felt.

It's like my breath is cut off, every bone in my body on fire, every muscle seizing. It's not pain. It's agony. It's my own life getting crushed in the hand of a monster.

I fall on my hands and knees, unable to support myself through it all. Pan doesn't even care. He just stares at me, practically foaming at the mouth, as if I've betrayed him in the worst possible way.

"Why doesn't your heart work?" Pan shouts at me. "Why did it keep you alive after you gave it to Felix?"

I don't know. How could I know? I didn't even understand that my heart could even be given to another person until a few minutes ago.

_Oh, God, it hurts! _

"I don't-" I try, but my reply becomes a scream as another wave of pain rolls over me. He has squeezed my heart again.

_Oh, God! Oh, God!_

"Don't say you don't know!" Pan all but screams. "I've talked to every person in every realm who knew about taking hearts. Taking a heart and putting it in another means that the heart supports it's new body, and the old one dies without it. I saw it happen, when a doctor brought his brother back to life! Why doesn't your heart do that? Why does it still keep you alive when it is with someone else? Tell me!"

With that, he squeezes my heart again, this time harder than before.

I can't answer him. I can only scream from the pain. My vision is blurred with tears, and I think he is saying something over me. But the pain's too great. I can't make out what he's saying.

_I have to stop him. I have to get him to stop. God, it hurts. _

"I...I don't know…" I get out between panting breaths. "I don't...Pan, please!"

Before I can go any further, he squeezes my heart again.

_God, it hurts-it hurts-it-BAE, ABBY, HELP ME!  
_Pan freezes, and Felix suddenly flinches.

I'm panting, trying to get past the pain, when I look up. Felix's look is shocked, and almost hurt, but Pan's expression is deadly.

I said it out loud. I called for my brother and sister to help me.

"What did you say?" asks Pan, slowly, venom lacing every word.

I don't answer. I _can't_ answer.

"I-" I start, but Pan cuts me off with another squeeze.

Oh, God!

"Your heart is _useless_, Vin," Pan says, looking down at me. "It still supports you from inside another. If you were to give me your heart, we would both be as good as dead. Felix's own heart supported him, and kept him alive, so your heart simply supported you from inside him. But, if you gave it to me, it would try to keep the both of us alive. It would knock us both out to make it easier, and then give out after a few hours. Why would it do that, Vin?"

He moves to squeeze my heart again, when an arm reaches out and stops him.

"Pan, stop!" shouts Felix, grabbing him by the wrist.

Pan turns to Felix, his look murderous, but if Felix is afraid, he doesn't show it. He looks Pan in the eye, and snatches my heart out of Pan's grip with his free hand.

"You're hurting her, Pan," Felix says, keeping my heart out of his reach. "Don't you see that? She doesn't know! If she did, she would have found another way to save us, already. Stop hurting her!"

Maybe it's Felix's words, maybe it's his firm stance, or his refusal to cave to Pan at this moment. Whatever it is, it causes Pan's eyes to clear, as he suddenly sees what Felix did. He looks down at me, and this time he actually sees me. He sees how much pain I'm in, and that he was the one who did it.

"Oh, gods," he murmurs, and he actually looks like he regrets it.

_How could he regret that? After what he did to me? He cannot regret at all! I was the one who tied him to the tree that sucked his regret out. He doesn't regret what he has just done to me. He's a monster. He's always been a monster, and he always will be one. _

Pan pulls out of Felix's grip, and takes my heart out of his hand. Instead of squeezing it, though, he bends down in front of me.

"Vin, I'm so sorry," he whispers. "I'm so, so sorry."

_No, he isn't. He doesn't know what that word means. _

With a surprising gentleness that I never thought him capable of, he places his heart back into me.

As soon as it's in, I feel a rush of energy pour into me, and the pain disappears. But, tears are still running down my face, and…

_Oh, God, he did that to me. _

Pan looks like he regrets it from the bottom of his heart, but I know it's a lie. He can't regret. He's just realized that another one of his lifelines has failed. He's just getting even more desperate.

"Vin-" he starts, and he reaches out to touch me.

Instinctively, I slap his arm away, and stand up. I don't wait for him or Felix to protest, or do anything. I just turn and run.

I have no idea where I'm going, or what I'm going to do. I just know I have to get away from the monster who tortured me.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, now I feel like a horrible person. Seriously, after I wrote this, I went to my sister and told her I was a terrible, terrible person, then questioned the meaning of life. She replied that it was tea parties. Pure wisdom.

Anyway, I'm sorry the chapter is a little late. I originally wrote one long, _long_ chapter, and decided I had to cut it in two when the word count went over 12,000. Ah, well, at least the next chapter will be out early (Yay!). Also, I'm sorry, to those who I told that this chapter would be up last night. Fanfiction was acting up on my computer, so I had to wait a little bit, to fix everything up.

Also, feedback on the concept of Vin's heart as a Dreamer is really appreciated. It will be important to the story later on, so I want to be sure y'all understood. Did it make sense? Did it seem reasonable? Let me know.

A special thanks to **DanniInTheTARDIS, Ellimac1716, Emerald Pixie Dust, Maitheli Maitra, SilverFury01, Thatshippingfangirl14, fudgin-mothertrucker,** and** slothmccall** for putting this story on alert, and **DanniInTheTARDIS, Ellimac1716, GhostlyBeSpook, Maetheli Maitra, SilverFury01, Thatshippingfangirl14, niftyness19, slothmccall, **and **stephie249 **for favoriting it.

Also, a special thanks to **sarah0406, scorpiongirl92, The Wolf Who Writes, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Elvira Silver, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Thatshippingfangirl14, Female whovian, songwriter16, meguhanu, Ellimac1716, The girl who cried I'm Batman, Emerald Pixie Dust, kksambo, **Elli, Lauren, shootingstar1618, Baily, SuperFanNumber1, and the multiple guests for your awesome reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms, **and **Uncommon fairy**, my amazing betas! Thank you so much for your support and patience, guys. Seriously, y'all are awesome.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on the concept of a Dreamer's heart, and Pan's reaction when it failed are really, really appreciated. Once again, y'all are awesome for putting up with me and my crazy writing! Thank you so much! **:)**


	41. Chapter 41

I pay no attention to where I'm going, how I'm basically running though uncut foliage, which cuts me at my arms and face. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. After what he did to me, after he hurt me like that…

_No, he didn't just hurt me. He was ready to _kill _me. He was angry, and desperate, and he let that take control, and he hurt me. _

I haven't run like this since my first few days on Neverland. But, it is still the same. Run, get out, get away from him.

_Oh, God!_

My legs suddenly give out from under me, and I fall down on my hands and knees again. I don't get up. I just stay there and let myself cry.

_He hurt me. After all of that, after I was willing to sacrifice myself for him, he tortured me in the worst way, because he was angry. He hurt me. He hurt me!_

"Vin!"

I don't even look up. I don't respond to the call. I don't do anything, but keep crying. What else can I do?

I was willing to give up my life to save him and the boys. And, instead he hurt me like I wasn't a person. Like I was an animal. No, not even an animal, a possession.

_Oh, God, it hurt so much!_

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around me, and pull me into a hug. My sixth sense tells me that it is not Pan. It's Felix.

Without hesitation, I bury myself into him, sobbing into his shirt, letting all the pain, all the shock of what just happened out.

Because, I don't care, anymore. I don't care that he tortured Bae, that he was willing to let him die. Bae survived, and it was because Felix let me see him that I got Bae out of Neverland. But, what matters more is right now, right at this moment, he is here.

"It's okay, Vin," he reassures me, gently rocking me, and rubbing soothing circles across my back. "It's okay. I've got you. I've got you; you're safe. You're safe; it's okay. It's okay."

He's here. Right now, when I've never felt more alone, Felix is here. He stopped Pan, and instead of giving me my space, he followed me, and he's here. He's here, right now, when I needed someone more than ever.

_Is this what it was like for Sebastian as he was dying? Scared, alone, willing to take any comfort, any hand to hold, no matter who it came from. _

_Or, was this what it was like for Felix, when I told him the truth? Just letting go of emotions, letting the pain out, letting someone comfort you just by being there? _

He doesn't let me down. He stays with me, until my sobbing stops. until I'm out of tears. He just holds me, telling me it will be alright, until I've calmed down. It isn't until I've stopped crying, but simply bury my face into his shirt that he starts talking.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry I didn't intervene sooner. I'm sorry I didn't realize what he would do when it didn't work. I'm sorry I let you go through this. And I'm...gods, I'm sorry for everything, Vin. Baelfire meant the world to you. Sebastian was everything to me. I should have realized...I should have stopped...Vin, I'm so sorry."

His apology touches me more than anything he has ever done for me.

_I was wrong. I never should have doubted, or hurt him. _

"No," I murmur, looking up at him. "_I'm_ sorry. I'm sorry for hating you, for refusing to forgive you after everything. You're my best friend, Felix. I never should have-"

Something's wrong. I can feel it. My sixth sense feels something powerful, wild, and chaotic. Concentrated. The Shadow.

I tense, and I feel Felix do the same, as I feel the Shadow fly closer to us. To me.

_What is it doing here? _

I move to stand up, and Felix helps me as he gets to his feet. I'm just able to get on mine, and not fall down when the Shadow appears before us.

It is the same as ever. Cold, with it's rattling breath and glowing eyes.

_This thing lied to me. This thing was willing to help Pan give up his son. Why should I trust it anymore?_

Felix's hand goes for his knife in his belt, but I reach out and stop his hand. Felix gives me a questioning look, but I give him one that tells him to wait.

_He can't fight this thing. Even Pan's afraid of it. He goes against it, he dies. _

I turn to the Shadow, who still floats above us, as if in waiting.

"What do you want?" I ask, trying to keep my voice neutral.

If the Shadow notices that I'm acting different around it, it doesn't show.

"You have learned the price," the Shadow replies. "You know now what Pan has planned for you all along. You realize what he wants from you."

_Yes, I've learned. I've also learned that I can never trust him. That Pan has hurt me worse than ever. I can't save him, not after everything. I can't forgive him. But, if I can save the Lost Boys…_

"Why didn't my heart work?" I ask, hoping it will provide the answers I need. If it is something I can fix...if it is, then I'll do it to save the boys. But not Pan. Not after what just happened.

"Your heart is a heart of a Dreamer," the Shadow replies. "And what Pan failed to understand was that while dreams may be shared, they can never leave their source. It is the same with your heart. You may put it in someone else, but it will never stop supporting you, even from the outside."

Part of me is glad that I know now, because it means that I won't be dying from this. Pan wouldn't dare try to take my heart when he knows it won't work the way he wants. On the other hand, it means that I can do nothing to help the others. It means that I can't do anything to save their lives.

It means that, when all is said and done, Pan took me for nothing. I was separated from Abby, from Bae, for nothing.

"It no longer matters, though," the Shadow continues, pulling me from my thoughts. "You have seen the cost of staying with Pan. You know the price for trying to help him with his endless scheming. I have held back for too long. It is time for you to come back to Dark Hollow, under my protection."

I start at this, and Felix does the same.

_I don't want to go with this thing. Trapped in Dark Hollow forever, as the Shadow "guards" me. No, I had a choice to do that after Bae left. And I chose to stay with the Lost Boys instead. I'm not going with the Shadow, not after I know what it's done, if it means getting separated from my brothers. _

I open my mouth to speak, but Felix beats me to it.

"She's not going anywhere with you," he says, stepping protectively in front of me.

For a second, I can only stare at him, somewhat shocked, somewhat touched. He's standing up to the Shadow, for me. To protect me. And, yet the idiot is putting himself in danger by coming between the Shadow and me. I know the Shadow. It believes that its duty is to protect me. It won't let Felix stand in its way, no matter how brave Felix is by standing up to it.

I swear, if the Shadow could scoff, it would at this moment. Instead, it just looks down at Felix as if he is some annoying bug, completely beneath it.

"Do you believe you can stop me?" it asks. "Do you believe that I can't crush you like an insect if you get in my way? Or that all the powers of Neverland won't turn against you if you try to keep her with your sad group of children?"

"I can try, can't I?" Felix replies, his hand going to his knife.

_No. No, the idiot can't do this. He tries to fight this thing, he's dead. _

"Stop!" I order, coming between the two. "Both of you."

I look from Felix to the Shadow, which are both glaring at one another, but they don't do anything else.

Felix is right, though. I'm not going with the Shadow. Not after it lied to me. It helped Pan. It told him how to give up his son, or that he needed me to survive. What's worse is that it knew. It knew my heart wouldn't work. It didn't tell Pan, and because of that, Pan believed he had to kidnap me, and break me, because he thought I could save him. Everything I've gone through, how much I've suffered since I was brought to Neverland was because the Shadow didn't tell Pan the truth.

"Why did you lie to me?" I ask, looking at the Shadow. "Why didn't you tell me the whole truth about Pan?"

The Shadow looks at me for a moment, as if shocked. I guess it didn't expect me to find out the truth.

"Yes, I know the truth," I say when it doesn't respond. "I know what you did. How it was you who told Pan he had to give up his son. How you helped him figure out how to survive when the sand runs out."

The funny thing is, had it told me in the first place, when it first told me the truth about Pan, I would have still trusted it. But, instead it kept it from me. Because it seems to have thought that I wouldn't trust it afterwards. But, what got me to lose my faith in it was it keeping the secret from me. _Lying to me. _

Felix, beside me, doesn't react to me talking about Pan and his son. Then again, he already knew the price of me giving Pan my heart. I can only guess that he knows the whole truth about Pan, and why he needs the Heart of the Truest Believer.

The Shadow, however, doesn't react either. It just hovers, and stares at me, as I wait for the answer.

"I sought to shield you from the knowledge of my participation," the Shadow finally says. "I did not want to burden you with knowing my involvement. How your protector had helped created a monster."

I really don't buy that. If anything, I would know what that's like. I'm the one who left Pan tied to the tree that sucked out his regret. I helped make Pan as he is as much as the Shadow did. No, the Shadow is lying to me again. It didn't want me to know the truth, because it thought I wouldn't trust it. And, it was right. I don't. Because it hid this detail from me, to protect itself.

"If you keep secrets from me," I say. "How do you expect me to trust you? How do you expect me to be able to go with you, when I don't trust you?"

The Shadow suddenly bristles, as if it's been insulted.

"I'm the guardian of Neverland," it snaps. "I can protect you far better than any mortal possibly could here in Neverland."

"Big deal," I reply, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't care. Sure, you can protect me, but I don't trust you to not keep secrets from me. Why should I go with you?"

The Shadow suddenly swoops around, and Felix and I turn to face it. It's angry, I can feel it. Instinctively, I reach for one of the knives up my sleeve, though I'm not sure how much good it will do.

"Did you not see what Pan did to you?" the Shadow asks. "If you don't come with me, he will just hurt you again, and who will protect you then? Pan's prisoners who believe he's their family?"

For some reason, this question fills me with anger.

Yes, Pan hurt me. But he won't kill me. I'm still a Dreamer, and the Lost Boys still care about me. He kills me, and he loses the Lost Boys. The truth is, even though my heart doesn't work, I'm still valuable to him. And, I understand why he panicked. He was placing a lot of hope on my heart saving him, and the others. He learned it wouldn't work, and he panicked, and took it out on me. If I was in his position, I would have felt the same way. Angry, that nothing was working. Afraid of dying with the Lost Boys. Despairing of ever finding a way to save them. I would not have reacted as he did, but I would have felt the same things he did.

But, that isn't the problem. I have fought Pan for the past decade, and it has felt like longer. I have been fighting him from day one, and I haven't given him an inch. He tried to use my powers as a weapon, and instead, I used them to fight back. He tried to make me care about the Lost Boys, and I loved them, but not him. He tried to make me Vin, and I embraced her as who I am, not the person he wanted.

_I have stood up to Pan this entire time, and yet the Shadow still believes I'm helpless to him. _

"Did you ever think that maybe I can protect myself?" I ask, feeling the anger rise inside me. "That I don't need your protection."

"Like you did when Pan just tortured you with your own heart?" the Shadow asks back. "No. This has gone too far. I kept my distance, because I knew you wanted to protect the boy that Pan tortured for you. But the boy is gone. It is time that you gave up this charade, and came under Neverland's protection."

I feel my anger rising again at this comment. This is not a charade. It may have started out like that, but that has changed.

"This isn't a charade," I reply, venom dripping from my voice. "This is who I am. I'm a _Lost Girl_ now, Shadow. I don't follow Pan, and I don't follow you. I follow the Lost Boys, now."

For a second, the Shadow stays floating in the air, as if it didn't expect my response. I guess it believed, after all this time, I was just doing it for Bae. Never suspecting that I actually loved the Lost Boys as well. Then, it seems to recover from its surprise, and straightens. I can feel it getting angry, and I know this isn't good.

"So be it," it says, its voice deadly quiet and cold. "I told you once that it is my duty to protect you through whatever means necessary. Even if that means ending the source of your danger, like I should have done centuries ago."

With that, it flies away, without another word.

But, for some reason, those words don't make me feel any better. I can't help get the sense that something is wrong, and I don't like it.

I turn to Felix, who still looks a little shocked. I guess Pan didn't tell him about the Shadow. He doesn't tell people about a lot of things.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"Are you?" replies Felix.

I shrug, because I honestly don't know. I don't like what the Shadow just said, but I can't put my finger on why. I thought for a moment it would drag me off by force, but instead it said it would go to the source of the danger.

"I know Pan hurt you," Felix says. "And-"

"No," I reply, cutting him off. "I'm okay. I mean, he was angry, and desperate, and I'm not excusing or forgiving him for it. It's just...I understand why he did it. And, I don't blame him. He believed that I was his last chance."

Felix looks at me for a moment, before wrapping me in a gentle hug.

"How do you do it?" he asks. "How, after everything, are you able to understand Pan, and fight that thing? And, I just saw your heart glow. I don't think there is a source on Neverland that can make you a bad person, Vin. And, remember, I hated you for the longest time, and I'm still saying this."

I can't help but smile at this comment. I haven't realized until now how much I really do care about Felix. He really is the only one that I can trust now, and-

_Wait...what did he say? There isn't a source on Neverland...the source of the danger…like it should have done centuries ago. But, if I've only been here a decade…_

I feel my heart stop for a second, as I realize the truth. What the Shadow is going to do.

_The Shadow is going after Pan. It's going to kill him. And, if it kills him, Pan's sand get's cut off. All the life he is giving to the Lost Boys is gone. He dies, and so does every last Lost Boy. _

The Shadow isn't just killing Pan, it's killing everyone.

_Oh no. Oh, God, no. Not them. Not after everything I've lost, not them. Not Felix, not Toodles, not anyone. _

"Felix," I say, suddenly pulling out of his hug. "We need to get back to camp _now_."

Felix stares at me, but the urgency in my voice tells him that he needs to listen to me. He allows me to turn, and lead him back into the the jungle. But, I know the Shadow. We'll never make it there on foot. If I had Pixie Dust, I'd fly us there, but I don't have any right now. Our only option is going to have to be the zip lines.

"Follow me!" I tell him, darting up the closest tree.

For a second, Felix pauses, as if I'm crazy, but he follows all the same.

I just hope we're not too late. God, I should have known the Shadow would go for Pan. I should have realized it the moment I ripped out my heart.

_Stop it_, I tell myself. _Felix is alive. That means that Pan and the others are as well. As long as Felix is alive, that means it's not too late._

I get to the middle of the tree, high enough to imagine another zipline. I get one as far as I can while still going fast, and imagine a second set of handles for Felix. I look down at Felix, who is still climbing, and wait for only a brief second, as he pulls up.

_I can't waste time. Not when their lives are on the line. _

"Hurry!" I shout, before going down the zipline.

For a moment, I can only remember how it was when Bae was taken. How all I wanted was get there fast, but I couldn't. I was too late, and in the end, I had to get him out to save him. I don't have that option with this. I need to get there, and save them now.

It's as if everything has stopped mattering around me. Not thinking of a plan, not waiting for Felix, not even breathing. Just getting to the camp before the Shadow.

_Come on, _I think, when I'm on my fourth zipline, Felix right behind me. _Come on, faster, faster. _

I let my sixth sense take over, reaching out for either Pan's dark magic, or the Shadow's concentrated wildness. My stomach plunges when I realize how close they are.

_I'm running out of time. Damn it, I'm running out of time! I need to be there, _now_! _

_Keep going. I need to keep going. If I so much as pause, I could lose everything. _

It seems to take a long time, too long a time, to reach camp. But, I still feel relief when I see the orange glow of the fire.

_Almost there. I'm almost there. Just keep going. _

That's when I hear the shouts. And screams. And I realize that there are shadows of boys running all around, some carrying weapons, some carrying torches. Some of the camp is on fire, while the Lost Boys run to put it out.

But the focus is mainly on the center of the camp, where two figures are fighting. A shadow, and a boy in green. Pan and the Shadow.

Both are floating about three feet off the ground, locked in their battle. Neither are using weapons. Instead, it would look like they are both just waving their arms, as if throwing imaginary balls at each other. But I can sense it. They are throwing magic at one another. Pure forces of magic, just thrown at each other. The Shadow looks fine, but Pan...he looks exhausted.

_No. No, not now. I hate Pan with every bone in my body, but he is not dying today. Not on my watch. Not when I can stop it. _

I let go of the zipline before I even reach the next tree. I drop down, and pain shoots through my ankle. I don't care, though. Adrenaline pushes me forward, as I run into camp, summoning my own magic, ready to join in the fight.

Just as I reach the border of camp, though, I sense the wild magic of the Shadow hit Pan square in the chest.

_No. No, not now. Not after how hard I worked to get here. _

Pan goes flying back, slamming into a tree. For a stunned, single second, everybody freezes, as he slides down in crumpled heap, stirring feebly. The others are too busy trying to put out the fire, or swipe their torches at the Shadow. They must have figured out that light hurts it.

But the Shadow is too fast for them, It flies past their torches, giving no sign that the light is hurting it, and advances on Pan, it's hand outstretched, summoning magic for the final blow.

I'm running as fast as I can, preparing my own magic to strike. But I'm too far away.

_Damn it, I'm too far! He's alone, he's hurt, he can't do anything. He's not going to make it!_

And, I'm right, he is alone.

Except for one, tiny figure, carrying a torch, charging to the Shadow. Before it can reach Pan, Toodles swipes his torch at the Shadow, getting it in it's outstretched arm.

The effect is immediate. The Shadow shrieks with pain, and turns angrily to Toodles, who has suddenly frozen. By magic or fear, I don't know. But he's frozen, and the Shadow has now turned to him.

_NO!_

A new rush of adrenaline suddenly pushes me on, and I let out a shout halfway between a battle cry and a scream.

"NOT HIM! ANYONE YOU WANT, YOU BASTARD, BUT NOT HIM!"

I don't realize until I hear the words that it was me screaming them.

The Shadow, however, heard me clearly. It looks up at me, in surprise, and I prepare to launch a volley of my magic at it.

As if the world is in slow motion, the Shadow turns away from me, and reaches out it's hand, plunging it into Toodles' back, as if to remove his shadow. At that exact moment, I let my magic fly, but the Shadow deflects it with a wave of it's free arm. I can't do anything as the Shadow starts to pull out Toodles' shadow.

Then, as if out of nowhere, Pan is right behind them. He looks tired, and weak, and bloody after his collapse, but he is still standing.

Without hesitation, he grabs the Shadow with both hands, and pulls it away from Toodles. His face contorts with pain, as he pulls the Shadow off, but he still holds tight as Toodles falls beneath the two. The Shadow, realizing what is going on, starts to try to pull away from Pan, but he still holds on.

_Now. I have to act, now._

"Pan, here!" I shout, and miraculously, he understands.

He turns to me, and let's the Shadow go. It was pulling away so much, it wasn't prepared to be freed so suddenly.

It goes flying uncontrollably at me, and I imagine two beams of light from my hands. They shine directly at it.

The Shadow shrieks with pain again, and falls away, as if the light is pushing it back. Pan collapses in exhaustion as the Shadow flies up, no longer scary or cold. If anything, it looks weak.

_No more. I will not be a part of this. I will not be drawn between the Shadow's duty to protect me, and Pan's past. No. I'm done with that. I'm done with being a piece in this game, between Pan, the Shadow and Neverland. I made a decision, and I chose the Lost Boys. I will live by this decision until I die. And, I'm on Neverland forever. Which means that, assuming I don't get killed, I'm going to be spending all eternity here. _

I look at the Shadow, that is staring back at me, as if it hasn't seen anything like me. I glance at Pan, who is lying on the ground, barely breathing.

_He can't die. Not now, not ever. Not if it means all the other boys dying as well. _

"You said that it is your duty to protect me," I say to the Shadow, looking back to it. "Fine. But, know this. Pan and the Lost Ones are under my protection. You will not hurt him as long as I'm here, nor will you hurt any of the Lost Boys under my watch. As long as I'm alive, Pan and the Lost Ones will not be harmed by you, or by anyone who dares try to get to me through them. Do you understand?"

The Shadow stares at me, but I can tell I've won. It sees that as much as I do. It wanted to protect me, but it did the same thing Pan did. It tried to hurt the people I care about so that I would do what it wanted. And, that is a game that I refuse to play any longer. I stopped playing when Bae got out of Neverland, and I accepted myself as both Jess and Vin.

"Now go," I order it.

The Shadow looks at me one more time, and I can sense it wants to say something. It doesn't matter, though. It tried to kill everyone I love, so that it could "protect" me. I'm through with that. I'm through with it and Pan trying to pull me this way and that, whether for their own intentions, or my own good. I'm making my own path now, and I choose neither of them. I choose the Lost Ones. And I will make the same decision again, and again, and again, no matter how many times they try to break me or protect me.

Finally, the Shadow turns, and flies off into the night. I can sense it going with my sixth sense, and I know, deep down, it won't come back. Not unless I ask it too.

_It's over. _

Without another word, I fall on my injured ankle, collapse on the ground, and pass out beside Pan.

* * *

_I'm in my room, sitting on my bed, alone. Just like I want. _

_Alone, and crying my eyes out. I've been doing it a lot, lately, but I haven't let Mom know. She's got enough on her plate as it is. Between Dad, her clients, Abby and I, she doesn't need my problems to deal with. She's putting up a strong face, but I know it hurts her too, how Dad left. Without a warning, without telling any of us. It's been two weeks, and we haven't heard a word from him. And it hasn't hurt any less._

_None of us knew. We didn't realize where Dad was going all those times during the weekends. He said he was busy. He had meetings. _

_He was at meetings, alright. Just not the kind at the office. _

_Just like that, he left us. He left me, Abby, and Mom, as if we were trash. As if we were something you could ditch, and never look back on. He did this to us, his own daughters, his own family. And I wish there was just someway to understand how he could do such a thing to us. How he could just drop us, out of the blue, and never call or speak to us again. _

_I tried talking to my best friends, Roxanne and Dom. The two are practically a brother and sister to me now. But, they just don't get it. They hug me, and tell me that they're here for me. But they just don't get it. No one here does. _

"_Jess?" _

_I look up, at the tentative voice. I didn't even hear Abby come into my room. _

_Hastily, I wipe my eyes, not wanting to let her see me cry. _

"_Hey, Abby," I say, smiling as if nothing is wrong. "What's up?"_

_She shrugs, but I don't buy it. I know that look on her face. She wants to tell me something, but she doesn't know how. I should know. That's the expression I wear every day now. Just wanting to reach out and talk to someone who will understand what I'm going through. _

"_Did, um," I say, trying not to seem awkward. "Did you get all your homework done?" _

_Abby nods, but doesn't say anything. _

_I know I should try talking to her. I should make sure she's okay. But, I want to be alone right now. I want to be alone, so I can cry, as I try to think of someone I should talk too. _

_I have to at least try, though. I have to at least try to take care of her. She's only six years old. _

"_Do you need me to check it?" I ask, knowing what her answer will probably be. _

_She shakes her head, but she drops her eyes, as if she's scared to look at me. Something's wrong. Abby will look me in the eye every day of the week, unless something is bothering her. _

"_Hey, are you okay?" I ask, sitting up a little. _

_She pauses a little bit before whispering something. I barely catch it, but I still can hear it. _

"_Daddy's never coming back, is he?" _

_Oh, God, I don't want to be the one to do this. I have no idea how to handle this. _

_But, Mom's not here right now. And, Abby needs someone. I need someone too, so we may as well try talking to each other. That seems to be our only option, since we have no one else right now. _

_I get up, and scoop her up. _

"_C'mere," I murmur, as I carry her onto my bed with me. _

_I sit her down, but I don't let go. I need someone to hold as much as she does. _

_She nestles next to me, like a small baby animal, and buries her face into my shirt. I can't help but smile a little, taking a small comfort in my little sister curled up close to me. It's strange. Before, we were never this close. And yet, at this moment, she is giving me more comfort than anyone I know, just by being with me. _

"_I don't know if he's ever coming back," I admit. "I don't know if he why he left us, or why he has done the things he's done. I really don't know, Abby." _

_I feel her trembling from sobs, and I can feel her hot tears in my shirt. To my surprise, tears are stinging my eyes, and I have to wipe them away. _

_I need to be strong for her. For my little sister. For my baby sister. _

"_Was it something I did, Jess?" she asks. "Did I do something that made him leave?" _

_It's as if the world stops for a moment. _

_She's so young, so innocent. She doesn't understand what Dad did. How he ran off with some girl, because he liked her more than Mom and us. _

_But how, just how, could she ever believe that it was something that she did that made Dad leave us? How could my sister ever come to the conclusion that it was her fault? _

_And worse, how could I never see it? How could I never see that my sister has been dealing with this for two weeks, and has never told anyone. I'm supposed to be watching her. I'm supposed to be taking care of her. How was I never able to see how much she was hurting? _

"_No, Abby," I whisper, suddenly hugging her tighter. "This is not your fault, and it's not mine. It's not Mom's either. It's his, plain and simple. It isn't your fault in anyway." _

_How had I never noticed this? How have I missed this? My sister, my baby sister has believed this is her fault for the longest time, and I've spent it wrapped up in self pity. How could I have done this, what sort of big sister am I? _

"_Then why did he leave?" Abby asks, suddenly sobbing harder. "Why did he leave us, Jess? I thought he loved us. Why didn't he love us, Jess?" _

_I don't know. I honestly don't know. I have asked myself the same question over and over again. And I never realized that my sister was asking herself the exact same question. She has been hurting over and over again, and I've been too blind to see. I should have been taking care of her, and instead I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. _

"_I've tried so hard to be good," Abby sobs. "I tried not to bug you, or Daddy, or Mommy. I tried really, really hard. But, I'm not good at anything. Daddy was so nice, Mommy argues to get people their money, and you write the most beautiful stories. I'm not good at anything. What am I supposed to do, Jess? Why doesn't anyone love me? I thought Daddy did, but he's gone now. Why doesn't anybody love me, Jess?"_

_God, she's only six. I've been acting like she doesn't exist, and she's taken it as if I don't care. To her, that seems like I hate her. She never realized that I really do care, but i just never show it. I need to show it. Right now, more than ever, she needs to know that someone in this world cares about her._

_I hug her tight, and I cradle her head against me, as if she's still a baby. Because she's still my baby sister. No matter what happens, she's still my baby sister. And it's my job to take care of her. Even when it gets rough, it's my job to look after her. _

_Tears are rolling down my face, and I can't breathe. I just know that I have to be here, and I have to care for my sister._

"_I love you," I assure her. "You hear me? I love you. It wasn't your fault he left, and it isn't your fault he abandoned us. It doesn't matter. I love you, okay? I love you, and I'm going to look after you. I'm going to take care of you, okay? No matter what happens, I'm never going to abandon you. I'm always going to love you, and I won't ever leave you." _

_I'm surprised at the fierceness of my tone, but I know I meant every word. I don't care what happens now, I don't care if Dad never comes back, I don't care if I have to care about her all on my own. I'm not abandoning her like Dad did with us, and I'm going to work every day so that she knows that she is not alone, and that she is still loved. _

_I'm her big sister, and this was something I should have done from the start._

_Abby just holds me tight, as she sobs against me. _

"_I love you too," she sobs. "I love you too, Jess." _

_I lean down, and kiss the top of her head, my tears running into her light brown hair. _

"_I'm never going to leave you, Abby," I whisper. "I swear, no matter what happens, I'm never going to leave you. I love you, Abby. Remember that. I love you, and I won't let anything ever happen to you. I love you."_

* * *

I wake up by flinching, as something cold and wet touches my forehead. For a second, I feel it dab across my forehead, gently, as if someone is scared to wake me. Slowly, I crack open my eyes, as a small drop of water trickles down my forehead.

Tilting my head, I look over to see Pan gently dabbing a cloth on my forehead, looking over me with concern. He smiles when he sees that I'm awake.

"Are you back with us, Vin?" he asks.

_Back with us? What? _

_And...I thought he was...he had collapsed. He had collapsed right beside me. Right after the Shadow...what?_

The events of last night suddenly come back to me. Pan's revelations, the truth about him and the boys, how he took my heart, how it didn't work, how he tortured me, how Felix and I made amends, how I saved Pan from the Shadow. And then...nothing.

"What...what happened?" I ask, blinking.

Pan smiles, and he removes the cloth, soaking it in a basin. Now that he's moved, I see Felix sitting against the base of a wall, sound asleep.

Pan catches me looking at Felix, and gives a small laugh.

"He was with us the whole night, I'm told," he says as he wrings the cloth out. "Wouldn't leave either of our sides until one of us woke up."

_I wouldn't be too surprised. Felix is a good person. He doesn't show it often, but he really is. _

"The boys tell me that you protected me from the Shadow," Pan says, as he dabs the cloth against my forehead again. "That you told it that I was under your protection."

I can't help but smirk at the irony. Whoever thought that one day, I would be protecting Peter Pan, after everything he's done to me.

_After everything he's done to me. Like taking my heart, and using it to torture me. _

Pan looks at me, and he can tell what I'm thinking, just from my expression. For a second, he just looks at me, in silence. Then…

"Vin, look," he says, earnestly. "I know what I did to you last night. And, I know it was one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. I am so sorry. I lost my temper, and I made you suffer for it. You were willing to put your life on the line for me, and I nearly killed you for it. I'm so, so sorry."

Even though I'm exhausted, even though I'm too tired to sit up, I still know that's a load of crap. I roll my eyes, before giving him an incredulous look.

"That's a lie," I reply, flatly. "You can't be sorry for anything, remember? I was the one who took away your ability to regret."

Pan looks me in the eye, and for a second, I'm not so sure about that statement.

"Vin," he says, slowly, as if he can't find the right words. "You're right, I can't regret. But after what I did to you, what I almost did, I wish I could. I honestly wish I could. I would take it all back now, if I had the chance."

I want to believe him. I want to think that it is possible, that he's changing. But, I can't believe him. That moment, when he held my heart, it was like being forced to dance again. He had control over me, and he relished in it. He liked having that power over me, being able to hurt me. He liked being able to control me, because it's like the mermaids have said. To him, I'm just a toy.

I shake my head, and look away.

_I can't do this. I won't act like I'm alright with this. I'm done with his games, and I'm done with him. I've beaten him, and that's the end of it. No more. _

Pan nods, and sighs, as if he was expecting this. He removes the cloth, and sits back. I'm finally able to get a full look around. I'm lying on a cot in the younger one's tree, but it's empty, except for me, Pan, and the sleeping Felix.

But there was fire everywhere. It was the middle of the night, they must have been tired.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, glancing at the empty hammocks, suddenly getting a feeling of dread.

_What if I saw wrong? What if the Shadow got Toodles? What if it it-_

"They're okay, Vin, they're okay," Pan assures me, seeing my expression. "I swear, they're all fine. Some burns, cuts and bruises, and the little ones are scared out of their wits, from the Shadow, and for you. But, they're fine, Vin."

I nod, relief flooding through me. I nearly lost all of them last night. If the Shadow succeeded, they all would be dead right now. All of them. All it would have had to do was kill Pan.

Pan...I saw him last night. He was fighting, and he was weakening. He was falling against the Shadow. He would have died, had it not been for Toodles. And yet, somehow, he still found the strength to stand up, and grab the Shadow itself, to save Toodles. To save one lost boy, that he just took, probably to test a Dreamer. And, when he was weak, when he couldn't hold on, he listened to me. He had no idea what I was planning, and he trusted me anyway.

For all he knew, I was planning to kill him to get back what he did to me with my heart. Instead, he trusted me to protect the Boys. He trusted me to make the call that would save them all.

He put his life at risk to save Toodles. He trusted me to help save him and everyone else here. He was willing to trust me again, when he grabbed the Shadow itself. To save Toodles.

But, he still can't care about them. He still makes them dance. He still tries to control them at every opportunity. He still wants to control me. He doesn't care about them. Chances are, he's only using them so that I will help save him. Not that it matters. My heart wouldn't work. It never worked.

Which means...everything he has done to me, everything that has happened was for nothing. He took me from my sister, he trapped me on Neverland, he has manipulated me more times than I can count. For nothing. In the end, it was all for nothing.

_I lost my sister for nothing. _

He doesn't care. He never did. He didn't need the tree to suck out his regret, he was already a monster. He only wants to save himself, and he tried using the Lost Boys as incentive to get me to work with him. And when things didn't go his way, he threw a tantrum like a spoiled child, and attacked me.

_But, he saved Toodles. He risked his life to save Toodles. I know how much he fears the Shadow. He was afraid of it when it first rescued me, after he made me drink the water, on the worst day of my life. I can tell he is still afraid of it. And, he still pushed that fear back, and saved Toodles. _

Just as I did, when he was threatening Abby all those years ago.

_He's a monster, and yet..._

"Do you care about them?" I ask.

Pan blinks in surprise, and looks down at me questioningly.

"The boys," I say, knowing I won't have to expand further. "I need to know, Pan. Do you truly care about them? Or are they just weapons, like I am?"

Pan shakes his head quickly, too quickly.

"Don't say that, Vin," he says. "You never were a weapon."

_Liar_. In all these years, after everything that has happened, I will never forget what he said the last night I saw Abby.

"_You've proven yourself to be a powerful Dreamer, and so has your sister. Just imagine what I could do with two Dreamers in my grasp. A pet, and a weapon. Yes, this is going to be very, very fun." _

"Is that what you tell them?" I ask, angrily. "Is that what you say every time they feel down on themselves? Stop lying, Pan, and for once be honest with me. You said you wish that you could be sorry, well prove it. Tell me the truth. Are they really in danger, and do you really care about them?"

Pan looks taken aback for a moment, before looking away.

_This is the moment. This is the moment when I know for sure who it is I have been dealing with for this past decade. _

Finally, Pan looks me in the eye, and I don't remember the last time I saw him so serious. Not just worried, or desperate, but serious, and honest.

"They are my family, Vin," he answers, not breaking eye contact. "When I came to this island, and gave up my son, I was alone. I wanted to find my son again, but the moment I did, I would stop believing that I was a boy again, and the sand would be cut off. I would die. I spent years here, alone, Vin. Alone. There was no one. For years, I just wondered if it would be better if I just broke the hour glass, and let myself die. There were times when I would just sit in front of the glass, debating whether to do it or not. But, I didn't. I wanted to live, but not alone for all eternity.

"So, I went out, and I searched the realms. I found boys who were unloved, and unwanted. I found boys whose parents abandoned them, who had run away from their parents, or just wanted to get away, like Felix and Rufio. I found them, and I haven't been alone since. They are what kept me going, they are what keep me from going to smash that hourglass. So, yes, even though I have them dance, even though I rename them, I still care about them, Vin."

_God help me, I believe him. I don't want to, but I believe him. Because I understand that loneliness. The idea of looking forward to eternity with no one. That's what my future will be if Pan doesn't make it. He will die, and so will everyone here. _

Every boy who has found a home here will die, unless Pan finds a way to live. And he isn't saving himself anymore. He's saving all of them. Those boys who gave him a family, as much as they gave me one. He doesn't want them to die anymore than I do.

_But after everything that's happened, everything that he's done. Can I forgive him? After he took me from Abby, tried to take Bae from me, tortured me when he was angry? _

Yes, he tortured me. Yes, he has hurt me in so many ways that I've lost count. But, right now, for the moment, I forgive him. I may not tomorrow, I may not in a year, but in this one moment, I forgive him.

Because, at this moment, we both agree on one thing: we cannot let the boys die. They will not die, not when we can save them. And saving them means keeping Pan alive, so I will do it. I will do it to make sure my brothers make it.

"My heart won't work, Pan," I say, starting to sit up a little.

The action almost instantly makes me tired, and I have to lie back down again.

_Steady now,_ I tell myself. _Don't exert yourself._

Pan helps me lie back down, but I can tell he's listening, and he wants to know what's going on as badly as I did when we found out my heart wouldn't work. Still, there is something I have to clarify before we move forward with this.

"I didn't know until the Shadow came," I explain. "It wasn't until it explained what happened that I knew. It wasn't like I knew before I ripped out my heart."

"I know," Pan says quickly, cutting me off. "I'm sorry, I should have realized. You wouldn't have taken out your heart, much less give it to Felix if you knew. I'm so sorry, Vin."

_Well, now that we got that out of the way…_

I tell him everything the Shadow told me. About why my heart wouldn't work. How it falls in line with what would happen if I gave my heart to someone else. Everything.

Pan listens, without interrupting at all. He just sit there, and listens until I'm finished.

"And you're sure?" he asks, when I'm done. "You're sure that your heart won't work."

I shrug. I honestly don't know. Pan is the one who knows all the stuff about hearts, not me. I really don't have a clue.

"I don't think the Shadow was lying," I reply. "And, you have to admit, it all fits. Dreams don't truly leave their source, even when they are shared with someone else. My heart wouldn't keep you alive if I gave it to you. It would just knock us out, trying to keep both of us alive for as long as it could. It does make sense."

Pan nods, but I can see he's frustrated. He stands up, and starts walking around the tree, as he tries to think everything over.

I was one of his last chances. I was one of their last chances. Now, I may lose them all, because my heart wasn't the type they needed. They could all die, and I'll be alone, forever, on the island.

_No. That won't happen. I won't let it happen._

"What else could you use?" I ask, as I watch Pan walk around. "What else can save you?"

Felix stirs slightly, but still remains asleep.

"A miracle," replies Pan, dryly. "Or the Heart of the Truest Believer. The thing is, Vin, I haven't found it. I have people searching across all the realms, and they have yet to find the heart, or its owner. And, by some slim chance, we do find the owner, we will have to convince him to give us his heart, and you know why that's going to be hard."

_I do. I know that had it not been for the boys, I would never have tried risking my life for Pan. That's because I care about the boys. And it took me years to come to that. How do you convince someone to give up their own heart, for people they don't know, or care about?_

But, it may be our chance. Our only chance. If we don't get this heart, Pan dies, and the Lost Boys die with him. Felix, Toodles, everyone. They all die with Pan, unless he and I work together, and get the heart we need.

"But, it's our last chance?" I ask, finally getting the strength to sit up. "Our only chance to save you and the Lost Boys?"

"Yes," Pan replies, solemnly. "Your heart can't buy me extra time, and judging from last night, neither the Shadow nor Neverland will give me more time when the sand runs out. The Heart of the Truest Believer is our only option."

_Am I really considering this? Working with Pan, help him hunt down someone, like he did with me, and convince them to put their life on the line, so that they can save the Lost Boys? Have I really fallen that far? _

Perhaps I have. Perhaps, I really have sunk so low, that I'm willing to convince someone I don't know to sacrifice themselves for the people I care about.

But, I need to save them. I love them, and I care about them more than life itself. And I will not let them die. Not if there is a slimmest chance that I can save my brothers. I have already put Pan under my protection, and I am willing to save him if that means saving the Lost Boys. I will not let them die. I will never let them die. I am a Lost Girl, and I will do whatever it takes to save my brothers, my family. No matter the cost.

_They are my family. I am not losing them. Not now, not ever. If that means helping Pan get the Heart of the Truest Believer, I will do it. I will do anything, if it means saving all of them. _

"Alright then," I say, looking Pan straight in the eye. "I'm in."

**End of Part Three**

* * *

**A/N: Yay! **I really hope y'all liked this chapter. This was one that took me a long time to write, but I just poured my heart into. I wasn't actually planning on throwing that flashback with Abby in, but it just sort of came out with the rest of the chapter. I honestly hope you guys enjoyed it!

And, guys, Once Upon A Time is back! Yay! I won't leave spoilers, but I'm really keeping my fingers crossed with this one. It has so much potential, and I hope it builds on it!

So, some news/story for y'all: I was talking to my literature teacher, and he said that I would have to do some creative project by the end of the semester, as part of the class. I asked him, and he said it was okay if I use **this story** as my project! I spent the rest of the day practically skipping. This means I'm going to be spending a lot more time writing because now it is officially homework! So, hopefully, should my schedule fit, I will be updating more often. No promises, but hopefully.

A special thanks to **gummybear1825, lauren6498, thegirlinthemask2001, dreamscometruex, bm623, mindofmonsters, BreannaMackenzie, **and **lolobarn **for putting this story on alert, and to **Emerald Pixie Dust, gummybear1825, Monarchslayer, thegirlinthemask2001, BreannaMackenzie, DisneyCraze, **and **lolobarn **for favoriting it!

And, thank you **scorpiongirl92, meguhanu, Dreamer-Girl96, sarah0406, Elvira Silver, The Wolf Who Writes, The girl who cried I'm Batman, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, LunaEvanna Longbottom, songwriter16, gummybear1825, Female whovian, Ellimac1716, kksambo, chinaluv, **SuperFanNumber1, shootingstar1618, NeverlandDreamer, and the many, many guests for leaving incredible reviews that made my days. And, as always, a special thanks to my betas, **Uncommon fairy, **and **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms. **I want to especially thank **Uncommon fairy** who suggested Pan should rescue a Lost Boy at one point in the story.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on...pretty much everything are especially appreciated. **:)**


	42. Chapter 42

**19 Years Later:**

_Oh dang it, dang it, dang it!_

I don't remember the last time I was this late. I just hope they haven't started without me.

I fly through the jungle to the camp, once again wondering if it was a good idea to make my tree house so far away from when the boys make camp. Or if Pan purposefully moved camp, just to annoy me. I wouldn't put it past him.

Funny, how very little can change in nineteen years. Well, Pan says it's been nineteen years since I joined him, but I'm pretty sure it's been much longer. Much, much longer.

I feel a rush of the dark, twisted magic, but I have gotten used to it. It's sort of become just another feature of Pan, like someone's hair or eye color. I would actually miss it if I wasn't paying attention.

But, I found him now, and I know he is still in camp. Which means they haven't left yet. Good, that would make a horrible impression.

_Of course,_ I think, _my team has beaten them how many times since they made me team captain? They're going to be looking at every scrap they can to beat us this round._

"You're late," Pan calls, as I leap down from my zipline, and turn my landing into a somersault into camp.

A dramatic entrance is always key on days like these. It has the desired effect: my boys cheer, while the other team looks at me with fallen faces.

_Ah, they thought I wasn't going to show up. That's cute._

"Liar," I reply, cheerfully, before standing up. "If I were late, you and your team would have moved out already."

I dust myself off, knowing that Pan is smirking now, because we're thinking the same thing: I was definitely late. He was only here to make sure that I showed up, and he didn't have to make Felix join my team. Well, he shouldn't have worried; I never miss capture the flag.

I was fairly surprised that the boys knew about the game, and that they played it often. Then again, I was mostly glad that they had a game I knew how to play. Most of the time, their games have only one rule: never use the same rule twice.

At least this is something I knew how to play, and I'm good at playing. Apparently Felix used to lead the second team, while Pan lead the first. Now, Felix just switches places between my team and Pan's.

Unfortunately, he's with Pan today, and that means he's going to know all the juicy details of my team's strategy.

_Well, that will make this round interesting, at least. _

However, when I look over at Pan, he gives me a look that tells me that it's something else. Something besides waiting to see if I would lead the team today. I recognize the look, having memorized it ages ago. It means he wants to talk. Now.

"Excuse me," I say to the boys. "Seems our high and mighty leader wants to get at me for being late, when I clearly wasn't."

I shoot Pan a pointed look, but it gets the Lost Boys to laugh. I smile, but I can't help the sinking feeling in my heart. Somehow I know what this conversation is going to be about. I follow Pan to a clearing, not too far from camp, but away from private ears. The Boys learned a while ago not to listen in on our conversations when we went out on our own.

"Are you alright, Vin?" asks Pan. "You really were late. I can have Felix take over if you want."

I should be asking _him_ if he's alright. When I joined him, he had years. Years to try to come up with a new solution. Years to find something that could save the boys. Years to find anything. I've tried to help him as best as I can. New ideas, whatever magic my heart can supply, anything I can contribute.

And it's gotten nowhere. Years of work, of searching for answers, and we're no closer to saving the Lost Boys and Pan than we were the night the Shadow attacked camp. What was once years has slipped into months, and now, maybe even weeks.

_And instead of finding something, we're playing capture the flag. _

"I'm fine," I tell him. "I just...I hate lying to them."

Pan sighs, and I don't blame him if he's annoyed. He is the one dying. They all are dying.

_I may lose them. I may lose them all, and...no, I can't think about that._

"You were trying to find something in your dreams, weren't you?" he asks. "You let yourself oversleep, and you tried to see if you could find something. That's why you were late."

I could lie. I could say that I just like to get my beauty sleep in before beating him. But I don't. I just nod.

"Pan, we only have weeks," I say. "Weeks. If we don't find something soon...Pan, you all will _die_."

Usually, I try to keep my cool. I try to pretend like I'm not worried by the fact that I may lose them all soon. But, right now all I want to do is break down, and have him assure me that it will be alright.

_But it's not. I'm losing them. Our days are running out, and...I'm terrified. I'm terrified of what's going to happen if Pan doesn't find the Heart of the Truest Believer, and soon. I could lose them all, and...I can't get past that._

_No, that would be wrong. He's dying. It would be wrong to put him in a position where he has to comfort me about him dying. _

"I know, Vin," he says, smiling sadly. "But, if we act like something's wrong, they will find out. They just think that magic is dying, not that they are. We can't just throw this burden on them."

At first, I objected to this. I wanted to tell the boys as soon as possible. But, over the years, I now understand why Pan insisted on secrecy. It has been agony for me, every time another year passes, and we find nothing. How would it be for all of them, knowing that each year gone is another year closer to their deaths?

"Will you be alright?" Pan asks me, sounding concerned. "You won't panic?"

I inhale, and let myself calm down. I gain nothing by panicking, and fretting over the boys over a game. No, I have to act as if nothing is wrong.

"Yeah," I reply, nodding. "Yeah, let's go."

Pan looks like he wants to say something, to add on to the conversation, but he doesn't. He just turns, and leads me back. We both put on fake smiles as we enter camp, as if this conversation never happened.

_Okay, time to put on a show. Act like everything is fine. _

"And that is why I wasn't late for the game," I say triumphantly, as if I've just won an argument.

Pan brushes off my comment about being late, and turns to the boys.

"Alright, boys!" he shouts, calling them to attention.

I wait for a brief second, while all the boys start to turn to him, before clearing my throat, and shooting Pan a pointed look.

"And girl," he adds. "You know the rules. Hide the flag somewhere on the island, but no using magic to hide it, or turn it invisible, or make it unreachable, _Vin_."

At this he gives me a pointed look, and I shrug modestly.

"It was a one time thing," I reply, with a small smirk. "I knew that you would make a rule to forbid it after I did it once."

Personally, I think he's just mad that he didn't think of it first, but it's still funny how he harps on it.

Pan rolls his eyes, but continues.

"Your goal is get the other team's flag, and bring it to your side," he continues. "If the other team captures you, _you stay in prison_. No running when no one else is looking."

That hadn't been me, but that was my idea. It was pretty brilliant. Felix deliberately got himself captured, and ran when no one was looking. He found the flag nearby, and made it back to our side in a flash. Pan's expression was hilarious.

"Come on, Pan," I say with mock exasperation. "We both know that wasn't rule until my team did it."

Actually, come to think of it, half the rules Pan is saying are from stunts I've pulled since he made me team captain. He can't pretend he doesn't like it, because he loves it when others find loopholes. He just doesn't like it when I use the loopholes to beat him.

"And no hiding your own flag on the other team's territory," I add, unable to help myself. "Even though it is a great strategy, because they never look there."

Pan gives me a withering look, but nods.

"You have an hour to hide your flag, and put together a plan. The team that wins the flag gets something at the end," Pan says. "Good luck to both teams, and may the best one win!"

The boys cheer, as Pan leaps down from his rock, and pulls two flags out of thin air. A bright red, and a bright blue. He gives me the blue one with a smirk, and I return one to him, as he turns to call his team together.

It's funny how little we fight anymore, especially after the Shadow attacked camp all those years ago. I mean, we disagree on almost every topic, but we don't fight. I think the realization that we needed to save the boys helped. It helped us find common ground, make it easier for us to get along. Not that we're friends or anything. But, for now, we're not enemies either.

_That is, unless we're playing capture the flag. _

"Alright, team!" I call to my boys. "Move out!"

My group, all whooping with excitement, follow me as I lead them away from camp, and to our side of the island.

"So, what's the plan?" asks Perrin, a rather stocky fifteen year old Lost Boy, who is good with his hands.

After all these years, I'm finally able to get all the names. It took me forever, but after spending so much time, just being with, and talking to the boys, I've gotten to know them better.

"Um…" I say in reply, as we head further in.

Perrin gives me a wide eyed look, that he shares with a lot of my team.

"You don't have a plan?" he exclaims in surprise. "Vin-"

I give him a small smile, which shuts him down instantly.

"Relax, boys," I reply. "I've got something up my sleeve."

_I really do, but it's not what they're going to expect. That's for sure. And, hopefully, Pan won't expect it either. _

Normally, would have tried something different, but Felix is playing on Pan's team this time, and he knows all the curveballs I've come up with. No, I need something that he doesn't know, and that he can't tell Pan about.

The other boys start to pester me with questions, but I don't reply. I know they trust me, but I never reveal my plan until we're well into our territory. I've tried explaining this to them, but that never seems to stop them from asking me.

As long as it has been, they still never change. And, perhaps that's a good thing. Here in Neverland, the boys are free to be who they are, to laugh, and have fun. Always young, never growing up, never changing.

_And we're running out of time,_ I think, sadly. _They don't know that the will die unless we find the heart we need soon. _

Pan says that we're getting close but...it feels like we still aren't making anymore progress in saving the boys, or saving Pan. And it's been over eighteen years since I joined him.

_No, I can't think about that. Not right now. I need to take a break from worrying, and be with my brothers. _

"Alright, boys," I say, coming to a halt.

The boys around me stop, and look at me expectantly.

"I'm sure you boys are all wondering what we're going to do this time," I say. "How we're going to beat the other team this time."

A few boys let out a small cheer, so I wait for them to quiet down before I go on.

_You're only stalling, _I tell myself. _Just let it out._

"I'm going to be honest," I continue, before pausing for effect. "I have no plan."

This gets the exact reaction I was expecting. I'm almost knocked down by how suddenly the boys start shouting, demanding to know what I mean, or what I've been doing this entire time.

_Yeah, saw that one coming. _

"Boys!" I shout, trying to get their attention, but they ignore me, still grumbling, stamping around, and acting like a bunch of kids throwing a temper tantrum.

_Wait, what am I saying? They_ are_ bunch of kids._

I consider just letting them shout it out, and get wiped out but Pan's team, but I can't stand the idea of Pan winning this round.

I put two fingers in my mouth, and let out a shrill, but loud whistle. It's enough to get the boys to quiet down, and look at me, even if it is rather grudgingly.

"I should have clarified," I say, simply. "I don't have the plan because I'm not making it this time around."

The boys look at me in confusion, and I can hear a few whispering, and mumbling, asking what I mean.

"Boys," I continue. "What happened the last time we played? Pan creamed us. Why?"

"Because he knew you would try something unexpected," replies Marcus, immediately. "He was waiting for you to pull off something, and when you did, he got you. We lost."

I nod, glad that someone figured it out.

"Exactly," I say, with a nod. "I did something unexpected. Just as we've done for the past five games. But not this time. This time, we're changing the game plan."

Without another word, I hand the flag to Marcus. He takes it, but looks down in confusion, clearly not getting the gesture. Guess I'll have to add a bit more ceremony.

"Marcus," I say, solemnly. "I name you team captain for the day."

The guy's eyes light up, as if Christmas came early, and I can't help but grin at him. He gets passed over so many times, and I really feel like he deserves a shot at getting to lead the team for once.

"Really?" he asks. "You're serious?"

I nod, and give him a small bow.

"Absolutely, oh Captain, my Captain," I reply. "You make the plan. Make something that's totally your own. Something Pan won't see coming. But nothing like I would do. Make me proud."

For a second, Marcus looks down at the flag in wonder, before nodding seriously. The other boys start to cheer, and clap him on the shoulder, readily accepting him as their new leader. I can't tell if they trust him because I chose him, or because they really think he'll do well, but either way, they accept him, and that's what matters.

"Okay," he says, standing up straighter, and assuming a serious expression. "Vin, make us a map."

I immediately imagine a map of Neverland without hesitation, and hand it to him. Marcus accepts it, and lays it down on a rock in front of us. I can see the wheels in his head already turning, as he takes his new position like a fish to water.

"Okay, listen closely," he says. "I already have a few ideas. I've been thinking about it for a while. Here's what we're going to do."

An hour later, a bright red firework goes off on the other side of the island, letting us know that Pan and his team are ready. I readily send back a blue firework, telling him the same thing.

I'm at the edge of our territory, ready to charge straight into Pan's land when the time comes. I have no idea where Marcus hid the flag, or what his plan is to defend it. He just told me his plan for me, and told me to get to the other side of Pan's territory as soon as the signal went off.

I wait a few minutes, after the firework goes off, before running into Pan's territory, my knives drawn, but blunted, so I don't accidently cut anyone. Pan taunts me for doing this everytime we play, but I know for one, that I'm not hurting any of the boys because of a game. I won't put my life on the line to save them, only to cut them when they're having fun.

For a long time, I simply dodge through trees, making an effort not to be heard or seen. Not that it's really necessary. There is absolutely no one nearby. I can't even tell if my own team has gone in to find Pan's flag.

_That's alright, though. It means that Pan's boys can't tell if they are here either. _

Sneaking around has become much easier, now that I know Neverland like the back of my hand, and the years of Pan's training have kept me learning how to be quick and quiet on my feet. After learning from the boys, it was hard to understand how they didn't find me all those years ago, even with the Shadow protecting me.

_Still, though, this seems too easy. I doubt I'm coming close to their flag, or they would have caught me by now. No...this is way too quiet. It's almost as if they're waiting. _

_But waiting for what? For me? _

Okay, so this is going to be a trap. What better way to find out what than to set it off?

I keep going, making much more of an act at being quiet, and not seen, so they don't know that I've figured out what they're doing. Somewhat.

"Hello, Vin."

I turn at the familiar voice, as if startled. I look at Felix, who is casually leaning against his club for support, one leg crossed over the other. I glance around quickly, and I catch the corner of a boot behind a tree to the left of me. I hear a twig snap behind me. I can also sense Pan, not too far away, but I can't tell if he's part of this lovely trap or not. For all I know, he's guarding the flag.

Then again, he always enjoyed capturing me. At times I think the game is more Capture-The-Vin instead of the flag, the way he plays it.

_Well, he gets his small victories where he can. He realized a long time ago that I wasn't going to break, so he settles for beating me in whatever way he can. _

"Oh, Felix," I say, as if relieved, and put a hand over my heart to calm myself. "It's just you. I thought it was somebody important."

Felix grins, letting my barb pass over him. He and I banter on a daily basis, so he's learned not to take my jabs seriously.

_And it will all end. The banter, the games, all of it. If time runs out...no focus on the game. Worry later._

"I see," he replies. "And yet, you still jumped when I sneaked up on you."

_Oh, good, he bought it. _

"Only because you startled me," I reply nonchalantly.

I can see Felix's shoulders shake as he tries not to laugh.

"Oh, is that all?" he asks. "Not because I successfully sneaked up on the great Lost Girl, Vin?"

Instead of replying, I assume an expression of mock thoughtfulness.

"You know, I don't think 'great' is the word," I say, after a moment. "What is the word I was looking for the other day? I had it; it's on the tip of my tongue...was it 'wonderful'? No, that's not quite….'magnificent'! That's it!"

I hear someone snicker from nearby, confirming my suspicions. However, to keep up the act, I turn, as if surprised that I'm not alone.

"I'm surrounded then?" I ask, as if I'm trying to maintain my calm.

Felix grins, and I shift my weight to the balls of my feet, ready to run.

"I think you probably had a brilliant plan, Vin," Felix says smugly. "You probably had something noble, and unexpected up your sleeve. You probably expected Pan to have something underhanded planned. But one thing you didn't count on: we knew you were coming since you sent up that firework."

On cue, about six boys emerge from hiding places, whether from behind trees, or foliage, or from branches above me. They have me effectively surrounded.

_And this is why you don't set off traps, _I tell myself. _You may think you're brave and smart setting them off, but in the end, it's really just stupid. _

I turn to Felix, and give him a small smile.

"Well played, Felix," I say. "Well played."

Felix gives me a small mocking bow in reply.

"So, what now?" I ask. "One on one? You and me, against each other?"

Felix laughs, as if I'm hilarious. Which I am, but in this case, I thought it was a good offer.

"What's the first rule of trying to corner someone, Vin?" he asks. "Never attack the person one at a time. Go as a group."

_Well, so much for that idea. _

"Get her!"

As one, the boys charge me, waving their weapons and yelling war cries.

Now would be a good time for a daring escape.

I take off, darting between the two boys who are farthest apart. The years of training have helped my instincts, and my endurance, as I run, the other boys laughing and howling as they chase after me.

_Right, _I think, as I run. _Note to self. Never set off traps in Pan's territory. That's just going to end badly. _

I try zig-zagging between trees, trying to throw them off, but the boys have had the same training as me. They know how to get me without wearing themselves out. I can keep running, but I'm in Pan's territory. Even if I lose these guys, there's probably half a dozen groups of boys, waiting for me to walk into their traps. And I've set enough off for today.

I hear one boy getting close, and I can see him reaching out to grab me out of the corner of my eye.

"Get her, Devon!" shouts Felix from behind.

_Oh, this is just peachy. _

I stop at the last minute, and turn to grab Devon by his outstretched arm, and swing him around, throwing him off. It stops him, but unfortunately, now the others are catching up.

_Right, flight didn't work. Let's try fight. _

I throw my knife at one boy, Mat, which pins him against a tree by his cloak. I use my grip on poor Devon to throw him into another boy, Aron, before kicking another boy in the stomach.

_Whoops, I was aiming for his shin. That wasn't supposed to happen. _

I use another knife to deflect Felix's club, as he tries to bring it down on me. But just barely. Felix pulls his club away, and swings it at me, causing me to duck, and roll to the side to avoid getting clobbered.

Luckily, the other boys are standing around, clearly enjoying the show.

_Good, because there was no way that I could get out while fighting all of them. _

I get to my feet just in time to deflect Felix's swing and aim a kick in the shin. Unfortunately, he jumps out of the way just in time, and aims another swing. This time, I'm able to catch the club on my knife, and force it upward, so that both of us are holding our weapons over our heads.

_Right, I'm not sure if I can keep this up for long. I can take him down, sure, but then I got to deal with the others. No, I have to shock them. Do something unexpected. _

Felix pulls away, and the two of us step back, ready to charge at one another.

_Take it slowly,_ I tell myself. _Just wait. Wait for him to go for you, then disarm him. Or go between his legs. Yeah, that's good. _

Felix rushes at me, and I immediately deflect his blow, forcing his club up above his head, while his club forces my knife above mine. He's a second away from pulling out; now would be a good time to disarm him, or use that element of surprise.

Instead, before I can stop myself, I move forward, and _kiss _him full on the mouth.

_Wait, what? I just did that! _

Felix evidently is thinking the same thing, because he pulls away, his face stunned. I'm not sure whether to wipe my mouth, or to...is there even another option?

The other boys are laughing as if they've seen the most hilarious thing ever, but at least they are distracted. Now would be my chance. I turn around, and run as fast as I can go, partly to get out of there and not get captured, the other part to get the hell away from Felix before he gets any ideas.

That was not a good idea. Just plain and simple, that was not a good idea. Next time, when I want to do something unexpected, I'm just kicking the sucker in the balls.

I can hear the boys coming after me, but I don't turn to see who is following. I really don't want to know if Felix is. Luckily, I don't hear him shouting or following me, like the others. Instead, I sense a dark form of magic coming closer, and closer. As if it's coming right in front of me.

_Oh, come on. Why can't I get a break here?_

I don't react as I feel Pan, just trying to run. So, it isn't much of a surprise when he appears in front of me, his arms open, as if he's planning for me to run into them.

"Surprise!" he says with an evil grin.

_Yeah, that's never going to happen. _

I run straight at him, but not because I want to run into him, or knock him down. No, I'm doing what I should have done with Felix.

As soon as I'm close enough, I land a kick him in the nuts. Pan doubles over, gasping, while I just take off. I didn't mean to get him so hard, but at the moment, I don't care.

_That's for everything in the past nineteen years,_ I think to myself as I run, even though he can't hear me.

I can sense that Pan is still recovering, but the other boys are following me still.

_Yeah, that's right. Just keep following me. Keep coming after me. That's it; take the bait. _

Suddenly, Pan appears in front of me, still looking like he's in pain, but standing. And he doesn't look happy.

_Blast, I forgot he does that!_

"Vin," he says, between gasps. "I thought... we talked… about kicking there."

He's right, we have. I just forgot at that moment. Complete accident, it could have happened to anyone.

The other boys gather around me, surrounding me again. I look around quickly, but they aren't leaving any gaps. And Felix and Pan look ready to nail me. No way I'm getting out of this one. No point to wearing myself out, then.

_Marcus, you better be getting a move on_, I think as I put down my knives.

"Okay, you got me," I say flatly, holding my arms out, as if in surrender. "Congratulations."

Pan looks like he really wants to answer back, but I think he's still hurting from where I kicked him. Felix, however, holds his club up to me, and has a smug grin on his face. Somehow, I think I'll be paying for that kiss in more ways than one.

"This is why you need to plan ahead, Vin," Felix points out, tauntingly.

I roll my eyes, but allow them to start to lead me away to the "prison." Pan is lingering behind slightly, and I can't suppress a small amount of satisfaction at it.

"Oh, come on, Felix," I say irritably. "It's not like you act this way when you're on my team. Just because you caught me once does not mean-"

_Any time now, Marcus….not like I'm in a hurry or anything. _

"I still caught you though, didn't I?" Felix points out.

It's my turn to grin at him, and all I have to do is cock a bow at him. I can tell he is thinking of the kiss I gave him to distract him. He immediately stops gloating, but looks away as his face goes beet red.

_Oh man, that was perfect. Stupid? Probably. But perfect. Point to Vin. _

I hear some shouts in the distance, and I instinctively know it's my team.

_Yes, I think it worked...oh, please, let it have worked. It was a good plan, especially for Marcus. _

I turn to Felix, and this time I'm the one who acts smug. Pan isn't wandering behind, though. On the contrary, he is very still, with his back towards us. The shouts are getting louder. And they sound pretty happy.

"I don't know, Felix," I say with a shrug. "I'd say it was a good plan. Oh, and you were wrong by the way."

Felix shoots me a glance, and I shrug modestly. The shouts are getting closer, and it sounds like more and more boys are joining

"I knew that you expected me," I say. "In fact I was counting on it. I knew that you would think I had something brilliant planned, when in reality, we were using the oldest trick in the book."

Felix looks at me as if I've lost my mind when it clicks for him. The shouts. The fact that they were all lying in wait for me, but not any of the others. The idea that for once, I wasn't the one who snuck in, while everyone's back was turned, but I was the one keeping everyone's eye off of my team.

I expected them to be ready to catch me. They thought if they caught me, the entire plan would fall apart. Instead, by making them chase me, by keeping them focused on me, they were distracted from Marcus who lead a small group in to chase the flag.

"You didn't…" he mutters, as a large crowd comes into view.

I laugh, as the other boys realize what happened. A few of them curse, while the rest just look surprised.

"I didn't," I reply, grinning. "Marcus did."

_Point to Marcus. And Vin._

My team comes closer, cheering and shouting, as a couple of boys hold Marcus up on their shoulders. The boy is grinning like crazy, and he's holding both flags, one in each hand. Felix looks stunned, and I can only laugh at his confused, and surprised expression.

"Good game, Felix," I say, before rushing to join my team's celebration.

"WAIT!" shouts Pan, suddenly running over to us with an expression that can only be described as shock.

I turn around, drawing my knives from my sleeves instantly, looking for signs of danger. Usually, when Pan is this alarmed, it's something bad. THe other boys go silent, and the pair holding up Marcus set him down, as we all look at Pan in confusion.

"We have to stop," Pan says, still looking stunned. "We have to get ready. It's coming."

Normally, I would accuse him of trying to undermine my team's victory, and of being a sore loser. But there's something up about this. He's serious. He is really surprised, but he is also...almost relieved. No, this is bigger than losing the game. This is huge.

"What is it, Pan?" I ask, stepping forward, slipping the knives back in place up my sleeves. "What's going on?"

Pan looks over at me, and I'm almost taken aback by the relief that's written all over his face. Usually he's hiding his feelings. I have waited nineteen years, I know he hides his feelings. Always, he has some game he's playing, he never shows this much emotion.

_Unless..._

He was standing still just a few minutes ago. I thought it was because he was hurt, but what if it was something else? Something bigger? Like getting a message from one of his spies, to tell him that they not only found something of magic, they found the thing we've been trying to find for almost twenty years.

"Pan, have you found it?" I ask urgently, walking closer. "Have you found the Heart of the Truest Believer?"

It seems like a coincidence, I almost dare not to believe it. . It can't have happened so suddenly. Not when Pan has a few months left, at the most. But, Pan is sure. And this if Pan is ever sure about anything, it would be this.

Pan only nods, and I suddenly feel my heart rise.

_We have a chance. Thank the gods, we have a chance!_

It's as if a huge weight has been suddenly lifted off my shoulders. He found the heart. He found the Heart.

I know that what comes next may be hard. I mean, we only have to convince the person with the Heart to give it up for us. But we have a chance. We may actually have a chance.

All these years, pursuing lead after lead, finding nothing, and this may be it. We may have the chance we need. We can save the Lost Boys. We can keep them from dying. We can save them!

_I can save them!_

I let out a laugh, and I suddenly reach out and hug Pan in relief. To my surprise, Pan is laughing as well as he hugs me back.

"Yes, Vin," he says. "We found it."

I can tell he's relieved as I am, and even though I'm not looking at any of the Lost Boys, I can tell they are probably relieved as well. Even though Felix and Marcus are the only ones who know the truth about what's really going on, they still know that the Heart of the Truest Believer is a big deal.

"Where is it?" I ask, still slightly giddy from Pan's discovery, as I pull away from the hug.

"A small town,"Pan replies, grinning. "From the same realm as you, Vin. Two of our operatives-the people searching for it-they found the person. He's heavily guarded, but he is definitely the one we want. Now, they've found a distraction, something to turn everyone's head while they grab him. They should be here within a day."

Part of me wants to laugh again, but the sensible part of tells me to stop. A day. That may seem like a lot of time, but it really isn't. We need to be ready for whatever comes. We don't know who this person is, or if he'll fight back. For all we know, he can have magic, or worse, he won't bat an eyelash at killing kids, even if they've been alive for hundreds of years.

"What do you need us to do?" I ask Pan, knowing I'm speaking for all the Lost Boys. They are as eager to get the Heart as Pan and I are, even if they don't understand why.

Pan takes a deep breath, as if trying to get over his relief as well.

"We...we'll have to be ready for those looking after him," he says. "Our people will buy themselves a head start, but once his family gets here, they will be fighting to get him back."

I blink at that. I wasn't expecting it to be someone with a family. If Pan is sure his family will follow him, they must care about him deeply.

I have a sudden flash of what would happen if someone tried to take me, or one of the Lost Boys away to trick them into giving up their life. The rage they would feel is no different than what this person's family will feel when he is brought to Neverland.

Can I really do this? Can I really help strip this person from his family, just to lead him to his death?

_Yes,_ I tell myself, firmly. _You don't, and your entire family dies, and you live out eternity alone. _

"Who all will come after him, do you think?" I ask, crossing my arms, and mentally calculating our resources.

"His mother, the savior," replies Pan, thinking it over. "His grandparents, who are good fighters."

His grandparents? Good fighters? I have a sudden image of a wrinkled, stooped, grey haired couple fighting back to back, waving around swords.

I snort at the picture, and listen to Pan's words.

"His other mother," Pan continues, "who is well trained in dark magic. Probably his paternal grandfather, too. That will be dangerous. His grandfather happens to be the Dark One."

I feel my heart plunge at this. Over time, Pan has told me stories of the Dark One. Of all the things he has done. Some of the things I witnessed in my dreams, the other things Pan just told me through stories. Turning a man into a snail, just because he bumped into his son. Trapping a poor queen in an urn, because her aunt was not cooperating with him. Manipulating a sorceress to cast a curse that devastated an entire population.

_It's not all bad, though. Ever since I started dreaming again, things have been looking better in the Enchanted Forest. _

Still, if the Dark One is involved with whoever holds the Heart, this will be more of a fight than I thought. And, the thought of that demon near the younger ones...near Toodles, Slightly, The Twins...close enough to hurt them in unspeakable ways…

_I won't let that happen. We have just found the Heart of the Truest Believer. We have come too far to save them to let the Dark One just kill them. _

"You have a plan?" I ask, suddenly itching for a fight.

_Let them come. Let them try to hurt my brothers. They will know what it's like be on the receiving side of a protective, big sister. _

Pan gives me a reproachful look that says '_don't I always?_'

"We're going to have to test the Heart when it arrives," Pan says. "It works differently than a Dreamer's, so leave that to me, Vin. Felix-"

At this he turns to Felix, who stands ready at attention. He knows what's at stake. He knows what will happen unless we get the Heart to Pan in time. He's ready to do this as Pan and I are.

"I need you to lead a group to get him on the run," Pan says. "I need him to come to me, but it has to look like a coincidence. He has to believe that I'm just a normal Lost Boy. It's part of the test. Vin-"

At this he turns back to me, and he suddenly has a mischievous grin. I'm not sure if I should be eager or nervous.

"Two things from you, Vin," he says, still grinning. "First of all, I need you to make a doll for me."

_Well, that's disappointing. I was expecting to be the leader of some fight against the person's family or something like that. But, no, I'm just imagining a doll._

"It will help against the Dark One, trust me," Pan assures me when he sees the skeptical look on my face. "Second thing: he has to be convinced that I am a normal Lost Boy. Absolutely convinced. I have a feeling you can help me with that."

_He made that cryptic, but that's fine. If it convinces the guy to give up his heart, I'm fine with it. I can endure a little cryptic if it saves them. _

"Okay, boys!" Pan exclaims, turning to the boys, who look a little confused, but still excited about this new change. I guess they don't understand half of what Pan just said, or why. I sure don't.

"And girl," Pan adds when I shot him a small look. "We have a few guests arriving in Neverland, soon. Some are welcome, some are not. Either way, we have work to do. Let's get ready to receive the Heart of the Truest Believer."

The boys cheer, as they start to move, Marcus still holding the blue and red flags.

They don't understand. They don't realize what this means. It doesn't mean that magic is going to survive. It's so much bigger than that magic isn't being saved. It isn't magic that is going to make it.

_They are. They have a chance now. We can save them. _

For the first time in nineteen years, I can save my brothers.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey y'all!

I'm really, really sorry about the wait. I know I said I would be writing and publishing more often, but this chapter was just killing me. I think after writing so much depth and emotion, it was hard to bounce back and write something a little more light-hearted. I hope y'all liked it, all the same.

And, I am very excited, because, as y'all probably have guessed, the next chapter is going to be the beginning of Operation Save Henry. I am really eager to get into this part of the story, and I hope y'all are excited to read it. I'm going to try to stick as close to canon as I can, but without Vin becoming a Mary-Sue. To be honest, I really can't stand Mary-Sues, so the last thing I want to do is make Vin one.

A special thanks to **Kagome Echizen Fan, KAYKAY22PRINCESS, xDaughterofThanatosx, ColdHeartAngel, Mokina, purplepumpkineater, Irene Maryanne Lane, madfinn654321, photographygirl, MaryKeat, **and** natii4u **for putting this story on alert, and to **KAYKAY22PRINCESS, ****ColdHeartAngel, ****Irene Maryanne Lane, ****photographygirl, **and **MaryKeat **for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **mercenary2.0, sarah0406, LunaEvanna Longbottom, The Wolf Who Writes, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, songwriter16, CeliaSingsSongs, Taeniaea, Ellimac1716, Elvira Silver, KAYKAY22PRINCESS, scorpiongirl92, ColdHeartAngel, ****Mokina, chinaluv, Female whovian, **SuperFanNumber1, shootingstar1618, NeverlandDreamer, Kaylee, and the many guests for leaving reviews that mean the world to me. And, of course, a special thanks to **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy** for being incredible betas!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! I know this chapter was more light-hearted than usual, but I would love to know what y'all thought about it, whether it's Henry's impending arrival, or Vin kissing Felix. **:)**


	43. Chapter 43

I crouch down on a tree branch, ready to move at a moment's notice. My hood is pulled over my face, and my sixth sense is on alert, waiting for anything to change at all.

I'm right above a beach, where Pan said the operatives would be arriving with the person who holds the heart. Except, they don't realize the true purpose behind all of this. These people are a couple of fools Pan tricked into believing that they could destroy magic.

I'm not even sure if destroying magic is possible.

Still, it does make the next part fun. We need to convince the person that Pan is a boy on the run, in order to earn their trust. For that, he needs to believe the Lost Ones are after him. And, for that, that means that he needs to see that the operatives have no idea what's really going on. And scaring them is an added bonus.

From the second they arrive in Neverland, we need to play this person, and the operatives. Of course, that is where my job kicks in.

_Be ready though_, I tell myself. _If the Dark One is coming after him, then we need to be on guard at all times. For all we know, he's taught his grandson how to use dark magic. He certainly taught enough innocent people for his own reasons. _

Something changes.

I don't know how I know, I just involuntarily tense as I sense a change coming nearby. I barely have time to register that something has changed before there is a flash of light, in the middle of the beach. Immediately, three people drop down from nowhere, as the flash passes, and land on the beach.

_This must be them. _

I look at each one quickly, trying to register who is who. Pan said that there would be two operatives, and the Truest Believer.

Two of them land on their feet, while the other one, smaller than the other two lands face first in the sand. All three are wet, but they landed on dry land. I'm guessing they had to jump into water when they got here.

The two that are standing up are a man and a woman. Both are wearing coats, and scarves which will only make one very hot in Neverland. I can only guess they come from somewhere where it is cooler.

_I wonder what that must be like. I haven't seen cold weather since before I was brought to Neverland. Dang, that was ages ago…_

The man is thinner than I expected an operative to be. He's wide eyed, and his ears stick out a little. He is also wearing a backpack over his shoulders. But other than that, he looks plain. Almost too plain. I guess he used this to blend in, make himself unnoticeable.

_Well, as a grown up, that's going to do no good here. He's going to stick out like a sore thumb. _

The woman has dark hair and skin, and seems to be much more confident than either of her companions. Yeah, that isn't going to last too long.

I turn to the last one.

_That's him. That's the one we need!_

Even from here, I sense the power of his heart. I can sense how it carries such potential, but it is also so good. I only sensed this once or twice, when I was with Tinker Bell, but never this much, and never so powerful.

_Plus, his hands are bound, so that's a bit of a give away. _

But, when I see his face, my heart stops.

It's a kid.

His height should have been the first clue, but now that I've gotten a good look. I can see it clearly. Round face, dark hair, innocent eyes, probably no older than eleven or twelve.

_A kid. Oh, gods, it's a kid. _

It's as if everything changes in a heartbeat. I was fine with tricking an adult into giving up his heart to save my brothers. Heck, I would have been fine with convincing someone my age.

But a kid? Pan wants me to help kill a kid?

_No, calm down,_ I tell myself. _Worry about that later. When the time comes, you can confront Pan, and figure this out. For all you know, this isn't the Truest Believer. He could just have a really powerful heart, like you. There's only one way to find out, and that's by getting him and the operatives to Pan. _

The kid has struggled to his feet, and is obviously trying to escape his captors. The man catches on instantly, and catches him by the back of his coat easily.

"No, unh-unh," he says, as he grabs the boy. "Slow down, pal."

The kid stops struggling as soon as the man grabs him, as if he knows it's pointless.

The man bends down, so that he is eye level with the kid.

"You've got nowhere to go," he adds, almost tauntingly, before he shoves the kid forward.

I don't even know this kid, but my gut still stirs at seeing this man taunt his captive. The kid is probably scared out of his wits right now, and this man is doing nothing to reassure him.

_Then again, how am I any better? I'm planning to help kill this kid. _

_No, I can't think about that. Not right now._

The boy doesn't run, but watches the two as the woman looks around with an expression I can only describe as relief.

"We made it," she declares, with a sigh, as she turns to her partner. "Mission accomplished."

_Not quite. You really have no idea what's in store for you. _

At that moment, as the man is taking off his coat and backpack, he glimpses around as if sensing another presence.  
I prepare myself, waiting for the moment when the man sees me on my perch, out of the corner of his eye. I even wave my hand, as he catches a small, even distracted glimpse of me from the corner of this eye. Almost instinctively, he starts, and turns to get a full look at me.

_Now. _

In the time he's turning, I disappear behind the thick tree trunk. He couldn't get a full glance at me, and he's never going to.

Pan taught me how to do this a while ago. He did it to me when I was locked in the cage, on three of the worst days of my life.

I wait, subtly, for others to see me out of the corner of their eye. As soon as they realize that they might have seen another person instead of an oddly shaped tree branch, they turn to get a full look. But by then, I'm already out of sight.

At first, they will probably think they're just seeing things, but after several times of catching glimpses of me, they're soon going to at least wonder if they are really alone in this jungle.

Luckily, the man is distracted from seeing me, when the kid pipes up.

"Are you sure about that?" he asks, stubbornly. "'Cause my mom is coming to get me. Both of them."

_Two moms? That sounds rather complicated... _

I can't tell if the kid is trying to act unafraid, or if he just has an enormous amount of faith in his family. I really can't say.

_Does it matter? I'm planning on helping Pan kill-no, not right now. Later. _

If the two operatives are concerned about the kid's warning, they don't show it.

"You know, I'm going to take a look around, kid," says the man, stepping forward, while the woman looks around.

This time, it's her who catches me out of the corner of her eye, but once again, I vanish behind the tree before she can get a real look at me.

I can't tell if I've unnerved her or not, but the man certainly seems fine.

"You see any clock towers?" he asks the kid, as if nothing is wrong.

Clock towers? Now that's a weird thing to say...I guess wherever the kid came from has a clock tower. It's the only thing that makes any real sense.

"You're a long way from Storybrooke," he says, before moving over to his bag.

Storybrooke...that must be where the kid is. But, I've never heard of a Storybrooke before...I guess it was built after I was taken to Neverland.

"It doesn't matter," the boy insists. "My family has been to the Enchanted Forest before, and they can get here again."

The man and woman are clearly unimpressed, probably because they know what I do. This isn't the Enchanted Forest. I would know, I've seen it.

But, this does mean a few things. It means that the kid is not from the Enchanted Forest itself, but he has heard of it. Which, if his grandfather is the Dark One, that makes perfect sense. More importantly, it means that he doesn't have a sixth sense, like I do. If he could, he would know right away, that this place is one of wild, chaotic magic. Not the magic he probably knows. And, he would have sensed me by now.

So, even though he's the Truest Believer, he doesn't have the Dreamer's sixth sense. Interesting.

I hear a howl in the distance, and I know that it's Pan's signal. It means that the kid's family is in Neverland. Pan was right, they are coming for the boy.

And, frankly, seeing this kid, I don't blame them. But, now that I have a good look at him, I can't shake a feeling that I know this kid from somewhere. I don't know, he just reminds me of someone, I guess, but I can't put my finger on it.

All three turn at the sound of the howl, but they mistake it for an animal. I have to stop myself from holding back a small laugh at how the two adults. The kid, I can see, but the adults? They really don't know what is really going on here.

_But, no, I have to remain unseen by them. It's all part of the plan. _

"Well, we're not in the Enchanted Forest," says the woman, smugly.

I can see the boy is confused, as he looks at her. I don't know what he was expecting, but clearly, it wasn't that.

"This is Neverland."

The boy's eyes widen with surprise, and all I can think about is how I was when I first came here in a dream. I was confused, surprised, but mostly scared at the whole thing. I can only imagine that is what the kid feels right now.

Suddenly, I feel very bad about the role I have to play in this.

"Neverland?" the boy asks in surprise. "You're here to destroy Neverland?"

I'm liking these two people less and less, now. They don't know their purpose, sure, but still. They want to destroy my home, and my brothers. That makes them an enemy, even if they are incredibly ignorant.

"It's the motherload of magic," the woman replies, as if that explains everything, as the man opens his backpack, and starts to look for something.

"Oh, where's the communicator?" she asks, turning to the man. "We need to signal the home office."

"Here you go, T," replies the man, handing her what looks like a walkie-talkie from the back pack.

Right, now this is where it gets fun.

I imagine the batteries in the communicator being replaced by a handful of sand, the same weight as the batteries. Yeah, that will throw them off a little.

I see the woman glance around again, and I duck behind the trunk before she can see me.

"An office in the jungle," says the boy, sounding doubtful. "Huh. Who works there?"

The woman struggles to turn on the communicator, but that won't help. She glances up again, and once again, I duck behind the tree trunk.

_I think she's really becoming nervous about all this. That's funny. I thought it would be her partner first._

"Who we work for is not your concern, kid," says the man, as he slings his backpack over his shoulder. "Just know that they take care of us."

This time, I can't hold back a small snort of derision. Us? Take care of them? The people who want to kill us, for living in a magical realm?

Luckily, no one seems to have heard me.

"Do they?" retorts the kid. "Can they tell you to get back home _after _you've destroyed magic?"

"We don't ask questions," replies the man, seriously. "We just believe in our cause."

_Well, maybe that's their whole problem right there. They should have asked more questions about what exactly they are doing. Because right now, the kid is asking all the right questions. _

I can tell the woman is getting slightly antsier as she fiddles with the communicator. She steals another glance, and once again I hide. But this is different. I think she was looking for me.

The woman is smarter than I took her for. She has the sense to realize that they are not alone right now. That someone may be watching them.

But, she doesn't see me, so she just turns back to the communicator anxiously.

"Greg?" she says, nervously.

"Yeah?" the man-Greg, I guess-asks, turning to her.

The woman grunts with frustration, clearly getting nowhere with the communicator.

"I'm not getting a status light on this thing," she replies, handing the communicator to him.

I can tell by her voice that she's more nervous than she's let the others see.

Greg turns the communicator over a couple of times, before looking at the woman again.

"Did you check the batteries?" he asks, before opening a small panel in the middle of the communicator.

I have to stop myself from laughing at them when they see the sand I left instead of the batteries.

The woman is now clearly anxious, while the man is just surprised. The boy's look is unsurprised, as if he expected something like that.

I'm starting to like this kid. He's only been here for two minutes, and he's the smartest of the three.

_And I'm going to help kill him. I'm going to-no, not right now. _

"What the hell is this?" ask the woman, stepping up to get a better look. "A toy?"

"It's a good thing you guys don't ask any questions," the boy comments, his face a picture of innocence. I can almost see his halo.

Greg and his partner look from one to another, and I can tell they are both starting to realize there may be something in what the kid is saying.

_Still a chance,_ I think. _Walk away. Take the boy and go. You may survive this, all of you. _

_And if the boy goes, then all my brothers die. No, the kid must stay here. He is our only chance. _

_But he's just a kid. How can I-_

Greg steps up, clearly taking the lead.

"Let's go," he says, giving the kid a shove forward. "Walk."

The two starts forward, but the woman hesitates, glancing around one final time. This time I almost, almost let her see me. Then, I duck behind the tree, same as always.

I can hear her joining the group, and I can't repress a small smirk. It's pathetic, how little they know. I almost feel sorry for them. But, they want to destroy magic, and that means me, and my home. That makes me a little more bitter towards them.

Right, I can't lose them. I have to stay with them, especially the boy at all times. He hasn't glanced at me yet, but he will eventually. He's going to be looking over his shoulder for me all night, as if someone is following him.

Hopefully, if this goes the way Pan planned, he'll that l believe that it's Pan following him, not some Lost Girl, while the real Peter Pan is right beside him.

I follow the trio on my ziplines, easily staying with them, but using magic to ensure that they don't hear me as I fly over them. They walk on in silence, but the woman is clearly getting more and more nervous by the second. The boy is calm and part of me wonders if he really does have enough faith in his family that he isn't afraid.

_Part of me says that it's bad, because that means he'll be harder to get through to. On the other hand...he's just a kid. Just a kid. I have brothers his age, and I would die for them. But, can I kill an innocent kid for them? I...I don't know. _

At one point, the kid almost sees me as I fly over them on my ziplines, but I duck out of sight instantly. Still, I allow the three to catch some glances every so often, and each time, it is the woman who starts to visibly show how unnerving it is is.

Eventually, Greg stops at a clearing, and starts to build a campfire.

_A campfire? That's cute. _

From what I can tell, they don't have any food stuffs in their backpack, so that mean's it must be a signal fire. Still, if he wants to build a fire, he's doing it all wrong. He hasn't even added kindling. As amusing as it it would be to watch him struggle with it for a few minutes, I know we're on a schedule. Pan mentioned that he has something to stall the the boy's family, but with the Dark One, I'm not sure how long that will hold.

Felix, and some of the other, bigger boys, like Marcus, should be nearby. They probably can track them based on how much noise these three makes, but a smoke signal will be quicker. Besides, it will let Pan know where he needs to be to test the boy.

Greg strikes his match, and holds it up to the makeshift campfire, and I imagine a flame catching onto the wood. Greg starts to blow to ignite the flame, while the woman starts to shi nervously.

"We making s'mores?" asks the boy, casually, earning an annoyed glare from Greg.

"No," Greg replies, as he gets up, and brushes his hands off. "Building a signal."

_Yeah, and he wouldn't be able to do it without my help. Sometimes, magic can be a good thing, buddy._

"Help me gather some dry leaves," he tells the woman. "We need to let the home office know that we're here."

Not that there's any need for it. Felix is probably on his way now, as soon as the flames appeared.

"And what if that is not enough?" asks the woman. "What if the empty communicator wasn't an accident?"

Well, it seems the lady is finally getting some sense. She seems to realize that none of the pieces fit together. That if this really were about destroying magic, they would not come to a place without an escape plan.

"Don't let the kid get in your head," Greg tells her.

_No, that's not a good idea. Let the kid get in your head. The kid is the only one who realized right away that something was up. _

The woman looks like she wants to argue the matter, but she's cut off by a rustling that comes from behind Greg as Felix, and about half a dozen Lost Boys emerge. Of course, the rustling was just a courtesy. The boys could have easily sneaked up and grabbed them.

Greg turns around, and he and the woman wear identical expressions of surprise. Clearly, Felix is not expected.

"Who are you?" asks Greg, sounding suspicious.

"We're the home office," Felix replies, as if it were obvious.

"Welcome to Neverland."

The welcome is slightly ruined by all of them carrying their spears and clubs, and looking ready for a fight.

The woman steps forward, her face still shocked.

"The home office," she mutters. "Is a bunch of _teenagers_?"

The kid gets it immediately, though.

"They're not teenagers," he says, quietly. "They're the Lost Boys."

I know it shouldn't bother me, not right now, but still. It's always the Lost Boys. Never the Lost Ones. Just the Lost Boys. Has no one ever taken the time to consider that at some point Pan might have let a girl join the ranks besides Wendy Darling?

Still, I have to give the kid credit for figuring it out so quickly. I thought they were all insane at first, before I realized that they really were the Lost Boys.

"Look at that," Felix says, clearly as impressed as I am.

"Why do the Lost Boys want to destroy magic?" asks the boy, tilting his head.

I suppress a smile. The kid does asks a lot of questions. It reminds me of someone, but I can't think of who at the moment.

"Who says we want to destroy magic?" asks Felix, talking to the boy, and not the other two.

I can tell that it is getting to the adults, just how casually Felix denies their belief.

"That was our mission," says Greg, stepping forward.

I roll my eyes. I'm still not sure how this guy can't get it. The lady and the boy have. This was never about destroying magic. It was about bringing the Truest Believer here so that we could save the boys.

_But it's a kid. How can we possibly kill a kid?_

"So you were told, yes," says Felix, nodding, glancing up at me on my branch.

We only have a split second. He's confirming that the boy is the one that we need. If it is one of the adults, it will need to be handled differently. Luckily, I simply point at the boy, and give a small nod, before ducking behind the thick tree trunk, as the boy and the woman follows Felix's glance.

For once, I hear fear in the boy's voice, even though I can't see him.

"I-Is there someone in the trees?" he asks, stuttering ever so slightly.

I guess I'm making the desired impression.

"Nothing you need to worry about," says Felix, simply.

That is how we are to do it. Keep it mysterious. Let the boy think that I'm Pan, but never say anything to confirm it.

"Now the boy," he says, his voice suddenly losing it's lightness, and becoming deadly serious. "Hand him over."

"Not until you tell us the plan," replies the woman, stepping in front of the boy. "For magic, for getting home."

I let out a small sigh. I seriously thought she had figured it out. She could move out of the way, and maybe Pan would let her leave. But instead, she's still insisting on this pointless fight. That's not going to help her live.

Felix smiles, before glancing up at me again. I want to shrug. I want to tell him that we can be lenient. That I can just imagine a bean and let them out. But I can't. The boy looks back again, and I have to duck out of sight before I can give any signal.

"You're not getting home," Felix replies flatly.

For a second, I think they've figured it out. I think they've seen that this is so much bigger than they thought. But then Greg steps in front of the boy and the woman, as if that will block Felix and the others.

"Then you're not getting the boy," he replies.

I shake my head, and force myself to look away, knowing what will happen next. The Lost Boys will attack, and let the kid go in the confusion. But, Greg, the woman? I see no way of them getting out of this alive.

I hear Felix chuckle, and It's all I can do to not look at what I know is going to come.

"Of course we are," says Felix.

I suddenly feel a rush of darkness. It feel like Pan, and yet it's not. If it isn't Pan...his shadow.

I only have time to register the feeling when I hear Greg let out a loud cry, which is combined with an excruciating ripping sound.

NO!

I turn, and look, but it's too late. I see Pan's Shadow fly off, with Greg's shadow in tow, and Greg's dead body lying pale on the ground next to the fire I helped him light.

_Oh gods. Oh, gods, this wasn't supposed to happen. This was never part of the plan. _

"Run!" shouts the woman, and he responds immediately, running one direction, while she runs the other.

I hear Felix calmly order the others to get the boy, but I know that they are purposefully going to lose him in a few minutes. At least, lose him long enough for Pan to "rescue" him, and test him.

Before I can think of what to do next, I see Mat fire an arrow at the woman, hitting her in the shoulder. She gasps with pain before collapsing.

I want to look away, to be anywhere but here, but the others are already off, pursuing the boy.

Which means it is just Felix and me.

"It's okay," Felix calls when the others have gone.

_Is it? Is it really okay? _

I climb down as fast as I can, but deliberately avoid looking at the bodies.

_They just killed them. Without a second thought, they just died._

"Are you alright?" asks Felix, catching the expression on my face.

_Alright? Did he seriously just asked me that? I've just learned that we are going to kill a kid, and we just watched two people die. Heck, I may as well have helped kill them, because I let it happen. _

"Me? I'm fine," I say, some of my stress making it's way into my voice. "I guess I'm a little taken aback by the fact that we have to _kill a kid_."

Felix blinks at me in surprise.

"You're getting scared now?" he asks incredulously. "After nineteen years-"

"After nineteen years of believing it was going to be an adult, or someone our age," I snap. "Not a kid."

I hear shouts in the distance, as the boys continue to search for Henry. Soon, Pan will find him, and I need to be there, to make sure everything goes as planned.

_But I don't want to leave. I want to confront someone about the fact that we are now talking about killing an innocent boy._

"Felix, he can't be more than eleven," I say, looking at my friend. "Are we really planning to-"

"Vin," Felix says, cutting me off. "It's him, or all of us. Now, I know you. I know it's in your nature to care for someone who is scared, or alone. And, I know, it's a kid, and that seems wrong. But if he doesn't do this, then all of us will die. Are you willing to let that happen? To Toodles? To Pan? To me?"

I don't want to answer that. I don't want to tell him that even if I am saving all of them, it just isn't right, killing an innocent kid.

_But Felix is right. It's him, or my brothers. Unless this kid dies, I lose them all. _

But it's a kid.

Felix catches my hesitation, and sighs.

"Look," he says. "We can discuss it with Pan later. Right now, we need you to play your part, and convince the kid that Peter Pan is lurking in the shadows, while some innocent Lost Boy is with him."

_Yeah, Pan is innocent. And hell is just a sauna. _

"What about you?" I ask. "Pan said that you had to go find the Dark One, and meet with him."

Felix nods, and we both start as the Lost Boys start shouting again.

"Do you have the doll?" he asks.

I'm still not sure how the doll has any significance to the Dark One, but Pan seems to know him better than either of us do. I nod, and take out the doll from a pouch on my belt. It isn't anything special, just a husk doll with a blue jacket.

_But even the smallest things can have the largest significance. I know that better than most. _

"Okay," says Felix, taking the doll. "You better head to Pan, and follow him and the boy."

_Right. I have to play my part in this. Act like I'm Pan, while he's a runaway Lost Boy. The irony that our roles were once switched is not lost on me. _

"Am I doing alright?" I ask, as I adjust my hood, so that my hair and upper face are concealed.

"You're great," Felix reassures me. "If I didn't know better, I would buy it."

"Thanks," I reply, and he moves to go in a direction, I can only assume to confront the Dark One.

Pan reassured us that the Dark One would not hurt him, but still..

"Hey," I call, before he goes completely out of sight. "Watch your back with him."

For a second, Felix gets a look, as if he's suppressing a grin, but he quickly turns it into a smirk.

"What?" he asks. "No kiss for good luck?"

I roll my eyes at this. That was just a game, and he knows it. Besides, he is the one who blushes every time I bring it up, not me.

"Oh, shut up," I reply, with a sneer, before climbing up a tree, and using my sixth sense to find Pan.

I hear the Lost Boys all around, purposefully making a commotion, trying to find the boy. I know it's all for show though. I remember when they looked for me, how it wasn't so much as shouting, as actually tracking me down. No, if they were really trying, then the would be quieter.

But, at the very least, I know that the plan is still in action

I find Pan's twisted sense almost immediately, and I follow it silently on my ziplines. I can tell he's running at the rate he's moving, so he must have convinced the boy to follow him. Yes, I can sense the potential and power in the boy moving with him as well.

It takes me a little while, but eventually, I'm able to catch up, and stay with them silently overhead. Pan is dressed up in the usual Lost Boy clothes, instead of his regular green. I had wanted him to go out in green tights, just for a joke, but he flatly turned it down.

_I thought it would be funny anyway..._

For a while, the two just run, while the Lost Boys purposefully make the search seem loud and desperate. Despite the kid seeing through the two operatives "home office" in an instant, he sees nothing wrong with his new friend or that the search for him is a little too loud.

They stop, eventually, the kid clearly more exhausted than Pan. He's not used to running around so much, I guess.

Pan looks around, as if listening, or looking for any of the others, but they all have purposefully run past.

"I think we've lost them," Pan says, turning back to the boy who is still panting.

I settle myself on a tree behind Pan, and just hope that he'll trust me to play my part without turning around.

"Okay," says the boy, as he tries to catch his breath. "Can we rest for a minute?"

Pan nods, and the boy settles down.

"You're new," Pan observes as the boy sits down on a large rock. "Did the shadow take you, too?"

"No," replies the boy. "I was kidnapped by some people who work for Pan."

_Worked. They worked for Pan. They died, never understanding what they were truly doing. _

"I'm sorry," replies Pan.

He's good at this. If I hadn't spent all those years with him, I might have bought this. It's amazing how a change of clothes, and a little bit of acting can turn someone like Pan into a fearful, anxious boy.

"If he sent for you, he wants you," Pan says, obviously referring to himself. "And if Pan wants you, he will get you."

_Okay, Pan tone it down a little. I know you're supposed to act like you're afraid, but if you worship Pan, you're going to make the kid suspicious._

_Right, that means it's probably a good time for me to show up. _

I purposefully move on my tree branch, rustling the leaves a little. The kid starts, and looks up, but I'm already hidden from his view.

The kid must not think anything of it, because he turns back to his conversation with Pan.

"Why does Pan want you?" he asks.

Pan reaches under a kerchief tied around his neck to reveal a small phial around his neck.

"Pixie Dust," he replies. "I stole it from him because I thought I could use it to fly away and go home. But it doesn't work. It's useless."

He tucks the phial under his kerchief,as if in frustration.

"Don't worry," says the boy, reassuringly. "My family is coming to rescue me, and you can come with us."

I bite my lip at this. We know his family is coming. And that may not be a good thing for anyone.

"You really think that you're the first boy to believe that their family is actually coming for them?" asks Pan, in disbelief.

"My family is different," replies the kid. "We _always _find each other."

Pan doesn't miss a beat.

"You better hope they don't," he says. "Or else Pan will rip their shadows into an oblivion."

The boy stands, and puts his hand reassuringly on Pan. Right, this just became a little too strange. This kid, who we barely know is comforting Pan of all people.

"It's going to be okay," he says. "I promise. Don't lose hope."

Well, that seems to be one thing right. The kid does seem to believe that his family is coming for him. This may be him. This may be the Truest Believer.

_And he's just a kid. We're going to just kill a kid. _

I allow the kid to look up at me again, before diving out of sight.

This time, the kid doesn't just ignore it. He has definitely realized that something is up by now.

"What is it?" ask Pan, as if oblivious to what's really going on behind him.

"Nothing," the kid replies. "It's just...do you think Pan knows we're here?"

_Yes, keep going with this kid. Keep believing that. Keep thinking that this is Pan who keeps disappearing at random, and shows up, out of the corner of your eye._

"I don't think so," replies Pan, still sounding afraid. "Why?"

There's a pause, and I can tell the kid is thinking how to put this without sounding crazy.

"I keep seeing someone," the kid says. "In the shadows, in the trees. But whenever I try to get a good look, they disappear. Can Pan do that?"

Pan shrugs, as if he doesn't know.

"It could be Pan," he says. "I don't know. It may be something worse."

"Worse than Pan?" asks the kid, and I have to grin.

Worse than Pan? Yeah, I can't really think of something worse than that.

_Wait a second! I'm the one following them, and Pan is down there. When he says that there is something worse...he means me. Oh, I'm going to kill the bastard. _

Before Pan can elaborate on there might be someone worse than him, the Lost Boys take the opportunity to shout something, as if they are getting closer, providing a good distraction. The boy turns back to Pan, forgetting about me.

"All we need is time," he says. "Is there a place we can hide from the Lost Boys?"

Pan pauses, as if thinking. Even though I can hear them clearly, I still lean forward, ready to move when he gives a location. The second part of my role: go on ahead, and create an illusion of a cliff in the middle of whatever place they head for. Nothing big, but enough to fool the boy into believing that he has to fly to get away.

Part of me is hoping that he'll fail. He's just a kid. Surely Pan didn't expect of it to be a kid.

"There's a place they can't track us," Pan finally says. "The Echo Caves. But it's far."

Perfect.

I don't wait for him to continue, or bother to stick around to hear the rest. I take off on my ziplines, but I make sure that I rustle some branches as I go, so that the boy will be suspicious, and want to hurry.

I have to be fast. I know Pan will give me time, but illusions are harder than most things here. Imagining objects is as simple as breathing. They are real, tangible things. Illusions have to fool the senses. There can be no flaws to them. The slightest thing can give away everything.

I already have a place in mind, but instead of heading there, I find the nearest group of boys, led by Devon. With all their shouting, and deliberate noise, it isn't hard. I find them within three minutes, and whistle to get their attention.

The boys look up to see me in a tree, one hand on a handle, ready to take off on a new zipline. I have to deliver a message, and go.

"Vin?" calls Devon when he sees me. "What's going on?"

"Pan and the boy are heading for the Echo Caves," I reply, quickly. "I'm going there in a minute, but I'm going to need time. Can you boys chase them, keep them occupied for a bit?"

Devon gives me a thumbs up in reply, which I take as a yes.

Without another word, I go out, using my ziplines to go.

Now that I'm alone though, I can think clearly.

_It's a kid. A kid. This was never part of the plan, we were never supposed to kill a kid. _

And yet, what other option do we have? If this kid really is the one, then he is the Boys' only chance at surviving. He has to die, to ensure that everyone else here lives. It is the only way. There is no other Believer that we can turn to. It has to be this boy. I will not let my brothers die when I have the chance to save them, and I promised myself I would do whatever it took.

_But a kid? Does it have to be a kid? I...I don't know if I can sink that low. _

I turn my thoughts aside when I arrive at the place. It's a clearing, that forms into a rock bridge over the river, just as it flows into the ocean. It is the quickest route to the caves, unless the boy goes through the jungle. No, he'll go through here.

Right, now comes the hard part.

I reach out, and imagine an image. An image of the bridge gone, and nothing below but the river. Everything that even hints at a bridge is gone. No shadow, no rock below, nothing.

When I open my eyes, I see that the bridge is gone, and nothing is below but the river.

I'm suddenly aware of Pan's darkness very, very close to me. They are here.

I have no time to run, especially as I hear them close by. I only have seconds to dive into the nearby foliage, as they emerge into the clearing, and run to the image.

"Watch out!" the kid shouts, suddenly throwing out an arm to stop Pan.

Both stop, at the edge of the cliff, and look down at it. I freeze, not daring to move, or even breath. I can only guess that my illusion is working, or else they would be on the bridge by now.

In the distance, I can hear Marcus shouting, "They're over here!" The boy and Pan turn, as they hear his call. The boy is looking back into the jungle, but I can feel Pan's eyes on me as I crouch lower in my hiding place, as if he senses where I am.

Well, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't have enough time to hide, seeing as you two charged in like stampeding bulls.

The boys still shout in the distance, and Pan and the kid turn back to the image.

"What do we do?" asks the kid. "Is there any other way to Echo Caves?"

"No," replies Pan, not dropping his act for a second. "We're done for."

For some reason, this entire act has suddenly become disgusting. He's testing him. Testing to see if he has to kill him. He is pushing the kid to sign his own death warrant.

And if he doesn't? The Boys will die, they all will die, unless this is the one. So what if it's a kid? It's either all my brothers or this one kid we don't know.

"I'll give them the Pixie Dust," Pan says, pulling out the phial. "Maybe they'll let us live."

"You're giving up?" asks the kid, as if he can't believe it.

"We don't have a choice!" Pan snaps. "They got us. This is the end."

It may be. If the kid isn't the one we're looking for, it may very well be.

_And if it isn't? What then? Are we going to sink so low as to kill a kid if he is the one we're looking for?_

The kid looks at the edge of the cliff, then back at the phial of Pixie Dust. I feel my heart sinks as he figures it out.

_Don't do this kid. You're only condemning yourself. Don't make me kill you. _

"No," the kid says, snapping the phial off of Pan's neck. "It's our way out."

He guides Pan back to the edge of the clearing, bringing Pan within a foot of me. I don't move as I watch them back up, knowing what the kid is planning.

"What are you doing?" Pan asks, sounding confused, but afraid.

Not that it matters to him. He knows if it doesn't work, they'll just land on the bridge. No, he is waiting. Even from my hiding place, I can tell. He's watching the kid, waiting for the moment to come. Waiting for the kid to prove himself.

"Getting a running start?" replies the kid, acting like nothing is wrong.

"For what?" protests Pan, even though he knows exactly what it is.

"Everyone knows that Pixie Dust is for flying," replies the kid calmly.

"Don't you remember?" Pan asks, sounding desperate. "The Dust doesn't work."

He's good. I would buy it if I hadn't actually seen him desperate. I've learned the difference between when he's playing and when he's real.

"You just have to believe," the kid assures him, and I close my eyes, holding back a groan.

I know where this is going. So does Pan. We both know what's about to happen, and instead of being happy about it, like I thought, I'm upset. I don't want to kill this kid.

"I definitely do not believe," Pan protests, even though it is unnecessary at this point.

"That's okay," replies the kid, popping the cork off the phial.

_Don't say it, kid. Don't do it. Don't..._

"Because I do."

My sixth sense is nearly overwhelmed with magic. Pan's darkness, the boy's potential, the Pixie Dust. They wash over me like a wave, except it does not retreat. It stays, as the boy grabs Pan's hand, and runs with him to the "edge" of the cliff.

Before they even leave the edge, a green glow surrounds them, and they fly off into the air.

I close my eyes, finally letting myself groan.

_This is it. The kid is the one we're looking for. Which means we're going to have to kill him. He's going to have to die, so that we can live. _

I see a few Lost Boys run past my hiding place, staring as Pan and the boy disappear in the distance. I can still sense them, even though they are long out of hearing range, and are just specks in the sky.

I emerge from my hiding place, and watch with them, until the specks become nothing. For a moment, all of us just wait there, in silence, taking in what we saw.

"So, that's it then?" asks Devon, turning to me. "He's the one we are looking for?"

To him and all the others, the boy is salvation. He is _their_ salvation.

_But, what do I see? I see a boy Pan will manipulate, and eventually kill so that all of the boys can live. And I'm going to have to help him with it. _

"Yes," I mutter, even though I wish I could say the opposite. "Yes, he's the one."

The boys evidently don't realize how big this is. How it means killing the boy. The silence is replaced by cheers, and one boy picks me up, and spins me around.

The sad thing is: it's catching.

Their enthusiasm, their joy, it makes me smile, and cheer with them. Because it means that I can save them. They are going to live, and they will be alright. For a moment,laugh as they spin me around, and I'm still smiling as they put me down.

_This is what it's about, _I tell myself. _It's about saving them. Not some kid you don't know, but them. That's always what it's been about. _

But still...a kid…

"What now?" asks Devon, after the moment passes.

_What now? Now we go, and kill the boy, and manipulate him into saving us._

"Pan wants us to to gather up the others, and rendezvous at the clearing we were at when he made the announcement," I reply. "That's where he intends to land with the boy."

I look at all of them for a brief second. I love them and care for for them.

_But are we really doing this? Are we really planning to kill a kid?_

"Let's go," I say, leading them back into the woods, as we start to round up the search parties.

I force myself not to think of the kid as I go from boy to boy, telling them where to meet, and to tell anyone else they find. Finding them is easy enough, and it is only a short time before we all gather in the clearing.

I'm help hide some of them in the clearing, by making a tree hollow, when Felix appears.

With all my emotions going everywhere, with everything that's happened tonight, I feel a surge of relief, knowing that he is alright. At least one thing that I wanted to happen has gone right.

"Hey," I say, as a way of greeting as I close the concealed door as the last of the boys go in. "How did it go?"

Felix is wearing a smirk that tells me exactly how it went. I'm not even sure why I asked.  
"Well," he replies. "How about you? Is the boy the one we need?"

_Sadly, yes. Gods, why am I doing this? It's a kid. Just a small, innocent kid. _

I feel a sudden rush of magic, and I look at the sky. In the distance, I can make out a green glow, small enough to be a star, if it weren't slowly growing.

"You better hide," I tell him, not bothering to answer his question. "Pan and the boy will be here soon."

Felix looks up, and I can see understanding creep into his features. Then, the same excitement that the other boys had.

_How can none of them understand? It's a kid. We're talking about killing a kid, and they act like it's Christmas. _

"Go on, go," I say, giving him a small shove so that he'll go into his hiding place.

Fortunately, he goes as soon as he feels my touch, while I climb a nearby tree for my hiding place. I need to see what happens next. I need to know what Pan will do, now that he knows it's a kid.

_Pan...he wouldn't just kill a kid to get what he wanted, would he? He did give up his own son for youth…_

Seconds later, two boys come flying into the clearing, landing with as much grace as a couple of badgers. They roll around as they land, even though I'm sure Pan could land on his feet. He must still be keeping up the act for the kid. The landing must not be that rough, though, because both boys get to their feet easily.

"See?" the boy says, clearly unaware that he is surrounded, or of me watching him from above. "If you believe, anything is possible."

Pan is calm, so very calm, as he says his next words: "You couldn't be more right, Henry."

From my perch, I can see both of their expressions. And Pan drops his "runaway-Lost-Boy" expression in a heartbeat, replacing it with the expression I know too well.

But it's more than that. This means that Pan knew. He knew it was going to be a kid. He knew who it was, he knew all along that that the Heart of the Truest Believer was a child.

_Gods, he knew. He knew, he was planning to kill this boy all along. And he never told me. Never once did it occur to him to tell me that it was going to be a kid. He wants me to trust him, yet he couldn't find it important to include that one, important detail. _

The boy, Henry, senses the change as well.

"How...how do you know my name?" he asks. "I never told you."

"Let's make it a game," Pan replies. "A puzzle to solve."

For some reason, the words send chills up my spines. I have no idea why. The words are familiar, but...no, wait. It's what he told me the night I left him tied to the tree. To challenge me to figure out how he was finding me.

"You lied to me," Henry says, accusingly. "You _are_ a Lost Boy. You work for Pan."

"Not exactly," Pan replies.

He steps forward, his eyes almost predatory as they look down at the small boy.

"I _am_ Peter Pan," he says, clearly savoring the words.

For a moment, Henry's face contorts with confusion, and disbelief.

"But…" he mutters. "You can't be. Pan...Pan was following us in the shadows. I saw him, out of the corner of my eye, he was there."

I'm not sure if I should be glad that I got a job well done, or if I should be be upset because now the kid will find out about me. I can't explain why, but I don't want this boy to look at me the same way he looks at Pan.

"How do you know it was me in the shadows, Henry?" asks Pan. "For all you know, it was just another Lost One, following us on my orders."

_Oh, great. When he puts it like that, the kid really will see me in a bad light. _

Henry seems convinced, though. It is Pan who is in front of him, not a Lost Boy. He must be, because he asks Pan another question.

"But, you told Greg and Tamara that magic was bad," he says. "That you'd help them destroy it. Why?"

Tamara...T...that must be the woman that got shot with the arrow. The woman who is now lying dead somewhere in the forest.

"Because I needed their help," Pan replies. "And it is so much easier to get people to hate something than to believe."

_I don't know...I believed pretty fast when I first came here. _

Henry seems to get it though. He seems to get how much danger he's in. That Peter Pan is not some kid in tights, but someone who is dangerous, and ruthless.

"Why did you bring me here?" he asks.

"For quite some time," says Pan, starting to walk around the clearing. "I've sought something extremely important. Something more elusive than the greatest of all mysteries."

"What?" Henry asks, not taking his eyes off of Pan.

"The Heart of the Truest Believer," replies Pan, as he makes his way to the tree where I hid some of the boys. "And when you took that Pixie Dust, Henry, and jumped off that cliff…"

He casually knocks on the wood, signalling the others it's almost time to come out.

"...You proved yourself," he continues. "You are the lucky owner of that very special heart. And now? You, and it, are mine."

He makes it sound so simple. As if he's taking the boy hostage, like he took me. Not that he's planning to kill him. Not that he's planning to hurt him, and manipulate him to save all the boys. _And he wants me to help. To help him kill this boy._

_That's why he told me so early,_ I realize. H_e wanted me to get into this from the start. He wanted to make it so that I would not be able to turn away, because I would have to save my brothers. He told me, got me involved, knowing I wouldn't be able to back out once I learned the truth. _

The realization is so sick, that I want to throw up.

Pan pulls out his dagger, and holds it high over his head.

"Come on, boys!" he shouts, signalling the others to come out.

Within seconds, the Boys come out from all around. From the shadows, from the trees. It only takes a moment for them to surround Henry in a circle. Like a baby animal surrounded by wolves.

_Gods, this is really happening. Pan really intends to murder this kid. _

Henry looks around, seeing immediately that there's no way out. If it were any other situation, any other, I would get him out of there in a heartbeat.

Then, he looks up, and he sees me in the trees. I feel myself freeze, as he looks up at me, finally meeting his eyes for the first time. He's pleading with me, silently begging me to help him. To rescue him, to get him back to his family. Not understanding that I'm a part of this, that I have to do this. I have to save my brothers.

_But he...oh gods...he looks like Bae…that's who he's reminded me of this entire time. Bae..._

Pan follows Henry's eyes, and sees me. I see his eyes light up, as he douses Henry's last hope of escaping.

"You too," he adds, telling me to come down, and add to this kid's nightmare.

_He's already planning to kill him...isn't that enough?_

Silently, I stand, and using a vine, I easily scale the tree, coming down in seconds. Knowing that Pan wants me to add a bit of effect, I throw in a cartwheel, and somersault, before taking a place between Pan and Felix.

Henry doesn't take his eyes off of me, as he sees the truth. I'm not here to save him. I'm here to help kill him.

"Who...who are you?" he asks me.

At that moment, I don't see a scared boy, who happens to hold the heart we need. I see a scared teenage girl, in the middle of the Lost Boy's camp, being renamed, told that she's a possession, her old life and family no longer matter, but the boys around her do.

I look at that boy, and I see me when I first came here.

Pan just laughs, unaware of what I'm thinking. He'd probably try a different tactic if he did know.

_Then again, he's known all along. He's not exactly one for tact. _

I almost cringe as Pan puts his arm around me, and pulls me a little closer to him. Maybe he is intending the gesture to be friendly, but it feels wrong. It feels possessive. It's like what he did when Bae came after me, after I joined the Lost Ones.

"I told you, Henry," he says. "It wasn't me in the shadows. It wasn't even a Lost Boy."

I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this to the kid.

But, it's him are my brothers. I made that decision a long time ago.

I pull back my hood, allowing my face and hair to be fully visible.

Henry's eyes widen, as he sees the truth. It wasn't Pan following him, nor was it a Lost Boy. It was a Lost Girl. And he knows that she is just as bad as the others around him.

"My name is Vin," I reply, my voice somehow strong, despite the tightness in my chest. "Lost Girl of Neverland."

Pan grins as I acknowledge it, before turning to Henry, the predatory gleam in his eye again.

"Boys," he says, before turning to me. "Girl."

Then, back to Henry. His prey. The kid he wants me to help kill.

"Let's play!"

* * *

**A/N**: Say it with me now...dunh, Dunh, **DUUUUUNNNNNHHH!**

I hope y'all liked this chapter, now that we are in the actual show. I know that it may seem that Vin didn't do much, but that was mainly because she was watching the events unfold. Not every chapter will be like that; she will be playing a part, and will be very involved in the upcoming chapters.

A special thanks to **KaterinaPetrova, beth1313, Hvhvg, Kaylee Elizabeth, The-Living-Shadow, JustKissMe, xox21, EllaBellaxox, **and **silver-eyedLadyofDarkness** for putting this story on alert, and **Mokina, KaterinaPetrova, mindofmonsters, Kaylee Elizabeth, JustKissMe, ****xox21, EllaBellaxox, **and **silver-eyedLadyofDarkness** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **mercenary2.0, sarah0406, Emerald Pixie Dust, 8839, songwriter16, The Wolf Who Writes, ColdHeartAngel, scorpiongirl92, SilverFury01, LunaEvanna Longbottom, chinaluv, Ellimac1716, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, KaterinaPetrova, meguhanu, kksambo, JustKissMe, Female whovian, Tukie4, **SuperFanNumber1, shootingstar1618, NeverlandDreamer, Lauren, and the many, many guests for leaving reviews that make me do a happy dance around the room. And, as always, a special thanks to **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy**, my amazing betas! Seriously, I know I say it a lot, but y'all are really incredible.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Vin, and how she is taking Henry's arrival are especially appreciated, along with any speculations or theories y'all have on what's going to happen next. **:) **


	44. Chapter 44

"Are you alright?"

I let out a snort as Felix settles next to me, leaning against the tree trunk I'm up against. Next to me, curled up on the ground, is Henry. Pan knocked him out with poppy dust as soon as we started heading for camp. He thought it would be better if Henry did not know where he is on Neverland. That it would be less likely he would run.

I wanted to confront him. I was ready to, but then he told me to watch over Henry, while he "attended to business."

_Assigning me to babysit the boy we are planning to kill, while he goes off to gloat. Typical. _

"No," I reply, looking at the fire that the boys are trying to turn into a bonfire to celebrate. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you had that look you get when you're thinking, and you don't like what you're thinking about," Felix replies, giving me a small grin.

I know he's trying to get me to laugh, trying to make me feel better. Normally, he probably would be successful. But not this time. Not when I'm standing only a few feet away from an innocent kid that Pan is planning to kill. An innocent kid who already hates me and is afraid of me because I'm in the league with Pan. An innocent kid that I'm supposed to help kill.

_A kid that looks like Bae. _

I'm not sure how, but just looking at him, he reminds me of Bae. Maybe it's the hair, or the eyes. I don't know. But it doesn't make me feel any better, that's for sure.

"Vin, come on," says Felix when I don't even crack a smile at his remark. "I know you have something on your mind, so you might as well tell me."

_What can I say to him? That I don't like this? That I don't want to kill an innocent kid? I already tried that, and he made me feel guilty before running off to meet the Dark One. Will he do the same thing if I try bringing it up again? _

Did he know too? Did he know that it would be a kid, and never tell me, like Pan?

But Felix is the only one I can talk to about this. Pan's not here and...he never told me. In those nineteen years that we have worked to find the Heart of the Truest Believer, he never could spare a moment to tell me that it was a kid that we were planning to kill.

_Felix may not see this the same way I do, but he is the only one I can confide in and expect an honest answer. Unlike Pan, Felix doesn't keep secrets from me. _

"Felix, look at him," I say, nodding towards Henry.

He's curled up next to the tree like a baby animal. Right now he looks just as innocent as any one of the younger boys. Or some of the older ones when they fall asleep.

_Like Bae looked when he was asleep. _

He looks so innocent, and all I can think about are the nights I've spent with the younger ones, when they felt scared and alone.

"Are we really doing this?" I ask, turning to Felix. "Are we really going to go through with this?"

Felix sighs, and turns to look at me. I can tell he is still frustrated that I'm questioning this.

Well, he's going to have to deal with it. Personally, I'm frustrated that none of the others seem to get the gravity of this. We are planning to kill an innocent boy. I know the price that we will pay if Henry doesn't die. I understand that more than most of them here, because I know what will really happen when Pan's time runs out.

"Felix, come on," I say, stopping him before he can lecture me. "Had this been any other boy, any other time, we would take him in. We would make him a Lost One, and we would treat him like a brother."

"You're right," Felix argues, looking me in the eye. "We would. But, we can't. We can't put our lives on the line like that, Vin. Unless he dies, we all do. I don't like it either, but we have no other choice. Do you really think that Pan would risk killing a boy if there was any other option?"

_I don't know. Had it been only hours ago, I would have said no. I would have believed that Pan wouldn't go there unless it was his only choice. But Pan knew it would be a kid. He knew, and he never showed a hint of doubt in his plans in the past nineteen years. Only worry that we may not find the Truest Believer in time. Not that it would be a kid. _

Then again, he's had years to think about this. He might have come to the same conclusion as Felix, that he needs to save the Lost Boys no matter the price.

Still, I thought I could trust him enough to at least warn me that it would be a kid. To let me make peace with it, or to protest and find some other way. But now, there is no other way. We have no time to find an alternative. We have only one solution, and that is to let the boy die.

"I know we have no other option, Felix," I reply. "But that doesn't mean I like it any less."

"Neither do I," Felix says. "But we have no other choice. If we don't let the boy die, we all die. It's not an easy choice, but it's one that we have to make. It's us or him."

I sigh, and turn to lean my head against the tree, while Felix goes to help the boys build their bonfire.

_I don't want to do this. I don't want to help kill an innocent kid. But if I don't, everyone I love dies, and I live out eternity on Neverland alone. I won't lose them. _

I made a decision that I would fight for the Lost Boys when I accepted being Vin. I chose to be their sister, and to make decisions that help them. I chose to be their Lost Girl. Not Pan's, and not this kid's. I promised myself to put the Lost Boys first. No matter the cost.

_That doesn't make of this any easier, though. _

I'm distracted when I see Henry open his eyes, and slowly sit up. I guess the poppy dust wore off. He leans against the tree for support, and looks around as if in confusion.

_Poor kid. Probably doesn't remember what happened. He's going to remember in a few minutes, and when he does, he's going to panic._

Well, he already knows me. Maybe I can amend this a little. Let him know that I'm not his enemy. Be friendly with him.

_I'm sick. I have just realized that. I want him to make friends with me, and I'm going to help kill him. _I'm as bad as Pan.

"Hey, kiddo," I say, getting his attention. "Sleep well?"

Henry turns to me, and his eyes widen as he remembers where he is and what happened to him. And remembers me, and how I'm not his friend.

I want so badly to reach out and reassure him, as I would with any other Lost Boy. I want to help him. To tell him it's alright, that no one's going to hurt him.

But I would only be lying to him. Pan has every intention of hurting him, and it will hurt. I ripped out my own heart once, and it was painful.

_Gods, we can't even promise this kid a painless death. And I still want to befriend him. What sort of sick person am I? _

Henry doesn't say anything to me. He only takes one look at me, and gets to his feet, never taking his eyes off of me. I don't blame the kid for being scared of me. Not after what happened, the way Pan set it up, so that I appeared his enemy.

_Then again, isn't that true? I am the one who is planning to help kill him. _

"Relax," I say, holding up my hands defensively. "I don't bite."

Henry must not think so because as I turn my head to see how the bonfire is doing he takes off into the forest.

_No. Not good. Definitely not good!_

"Henry!" I call, starting to take off after him.

I see Felix look up, and figure out what's going on instantly. He looks ready to give chase, but I hold up a hand to stop him.

"Wait," I tell him. "I'll go."

If we all go after him, even if it's just Felix and I, it's going to be like before, when he felt hunted, and alone. He's going to panic, become more afraid of us, and none of that is good when he doesn't know where he is on the island.

The last thing we need is for him to get lost on Neverland. While Pan could probably find him, I don't think having his shadow go after Henry will help any more than a large group of us going after him.

_Besides, I want to be the one to reach out to him. _

I know it is sick, and horrible, but part of me feels like I have to. Maybe it's the sense of familiarity I have with him, maybe it's because he is a young boy, and I usually want to be friends with kids like him. I just feel like I have to go after him.

"Henry!" I call again, as I follow him into the forest.

Even with his head start, going after him is child's play. I know this jungle like the back of my hand, and I can hear him panting as he tries to run. The years of avoiding Pan and training have made running easy for me. I see him ahead of me, just in time to see him trip over a tree root and fall flat on his face.

Just as I would if any one of the Lost Boys fell, I run over to him as fast as I can, without thinking.

"Oh my gods, Henry," I say, rushing to his side, and crouching next to him. "Are you okay?"

Henry looks up at me from where he fell, glaring at me as I look over him for injuries. I know it shouldn't surprise me, but I can't suppress a twinge of hurt at his look.

_Hey, the kid can hate me all he wants. I really want to be sure he's alright. _

I see his palm has a shallow cut, but nothing else besides that. I imagine a wet rag, and start to clean it as Henry pushes himself off the ground, and into a sitting position.

I can tell the gesture and magic surprises him. He looks torn between wanting to run, and wanting to wait, while I clean his cut. He doesn't say a word though.

_Come on kid, say something. Anything. Just talk to me. _

"Henry, you can't go running off like that," I tell him, as gently as I can, as I dab his cut with the rag. "Bad things will happen if you leave camp."

Any surprise or desire to stay vanishes from his face in an instant, replaced by anger. That didn't take too long.

"Why?" he snaps, snatching his hand out of my grip. "Because Pan doesn't want me to leave? Because he wants to use my heart?"

_Actually, yes. That is very much part of it. If he runs, I don't want to know what Pan will do to get him back. I remember what he would do to get me back when I was on the run, and he was just toying with me then. He is serious with Henry. _

"That's part of it, yes," I reply, taking his hand back, and cleaning the cut again. "If you leave, there's no telling what methods Pan will use to get you back. And, trust me, I'm the one you want him to send."

Henry pulls back his hand, still glaring at me distrustfully.

I try to tell myself it doesn't hurt, but I may as well tell myself that unicorns are real for how much it works.

"Trust you?" he asks, indignantly. "Why should I trust you? You're a Lost One, you work with Pan!"

_Ouch. So working with Pan automatically makes me untrustworthy. _

Then again, I _am_ untrustworthy. The kid couldn't be more right about that.

"Henry, listen to me," I say, not bothering to help him with his hand anymore. "I know that I don't seem trustworthy because of the trick I pulled on you when you came to Neverland. I'm sorry about that."

_That much, at least, is true. I wish I never was a part of that. I wish I never knew what was really going on. That I didn't know Pan's plan to kill his kid, and the part he wants me to play in it. _

"But you need to understand," I go on, shoving back my feelings. "If you run, Pan will do everything in his power to get you back, and he won't give a damn about what gets in his way. That man you came here with? Greg? Pan had his shadow ripped out just to get you on the move. If you run, he won't just be sending out the Lost Ones to find you. He'll...you don't want to know what he will do at times to make sure you get back to camp."

I know that better than anyone. All those times the boys came after me. All those times he sent the shadow, or came after me himself. I always had to be on the move, and never let my guard down. And I had my powers to help me survive. This kid doesn't have that. He wouldn't stand a chance.

"Even if you do manage to evade Pan, Neverland isn't safe," I add, dead serious. "Pan may control most of the island, but believe it or not, you would be much, much safer in camp."

Henry looks at me as if I just sprouted a tail and fins. But, as crazy as it sounds, it's true. If Henry goes out, I'm not sure he could make it on his own.

"Safe? What could be more dangerous than being with Pan?" asks Henry, still looking angry.

"You would be surprised," I reply, darkly, thinking of the night that I truly joined Pan. "We've been given strict instructions not to hurt you, Henry. In fact, quite the opposite. Pan wants you to feel welcome. If you go out, though, there is some pretty nasty stuff you can run into."

"Like what?" Henry asks challengingly.

_All these questions...he really does remind me of Bae. _

"The mermaids for one," I say. "They follow Pan's orders, but that doesn't mean they like it."

_Don't I know the feeling. _

"Then there's the natural elements. Dreamshade, especially. And, the Shadow that lives here."

Probably the worst danger. I haven't seen it since I stopped it from killing Pan, but still...I wouldn't trust it to try and let Pan and the others die by keeping Henry from us. By any means necessary.

Henry's face contorts with confusion at the last part. I know what he's going to ask, but I decide to let him go ahead and ask before I answer.

"The shadow?" he repeats. "But I thought Pan controlled his shadow."

"He does," I reply. "But it's not the only shadow in Neverland. There's another one and...well, it doesn't like the Lost Ones that much. If you leave, and it mistakes you as one of us, or thinks that by taking you it will hurt us-which it will-it won't hesitate to kill you."

Maybe it's the seriousness of my tone, maybe it's something else, but I can tell Henry believes me. Good. At the very least, I can protect him from the Shadow. I can't protect him from Pan and his plans, but I can protect him from the Shadow.

_Yes, I'm such a saint. _

"But, if the Shadow wants to hurt the Lost Boys, why hasn't it come after you?" he asks. "You aren't in Pan's camp right now either."

I have to smile at the kid for catching on, and realizing that Pan's camp does guarantee his safety from the Shadow. Not that it matters much with Pan's plan, but all the same…

"The Shadow and I have a sort of...understanding I guess," I explain.

If understanding means that I threatened it after it attacked my brothers and tried to kill them so that I would be "safe."

"It won't hurt me, and it won't hurt the boys I'm with, or that Pan shields with magic. But if you try to run on your own…"

I let the sentence hang, knowing that Henry will figure it out.

He has to trust me. As horrible as it is, he has too. Not just for his own safety, but for everyone else's. If he dies, or if he goes through what I did when I tried to escape, then he will never give Pan his heart. He would leave them all to die, because he wouldn't trust Pan. Though, to be fair, he shouldn't any way.

I can see the two sides conflicting inside Henry. On the one hand, running would put distance between him and Pan, but there would be no way to guarantee his safety. On the other hand, he would be safe with us, but he would be Pan's captive at the same time.

I need to help him. Reach out to him. I can't let him put his life on the line by leaving. I won't let him go though what I did.

_Gods, I really am horrible for what I say next. I'm so sorry, Henry. For lying to you, for all of this. I don't know you that well, but I can tell you don't deserve what Pan has planned for you.  
_"Henry, I know you don't trust me. But I swear, I won't let anyone hurt you," I assure him. "Not Pan, not the Lost Boys, not the Shadow, nothing. I promise."

As soon as the words are past my lips, I want to take them back. Stooping to lies, to manipulation, to playing this boy so that he will work with Pan's plan. I never thought I would sink this low. I never thought any of this would happen.

_Gods, Pan, you should have told me. At the very least I could prepare myself before I ripped myself apart._

Henry looks at me, and for once, there isn't anger or distrust. I know that he may not like it, but he believes me. He thinks I will keep my word. He doesn't know that I'm planning...gods, I'm a monster.

_Worse than that, I'm Pan. _

I reach out, and take Henry's injured hand, imagining a bandage over it. Henry's eyes widen at this small display of my magic, and I smile at him.

It feels genuine. I smiling reassuringly at him, as if nothing is wrong. But everything is wrong. All of this. The lies, the plan, everything.

"Yeah," I say, nodding to the bandage. "It's something I can do. My heart allows me to channel Neverland's magic easily. At times, I can go head to head with Pan."

There. Now he just thinks that I can do magic, not that I'm a Dreamer. Not that I really was just like him, running from Pan, searching for someone, anyone, to trust as I fought to get back to my family.

Except, the people I trusted weren't planning to stab me in the back. Hook was told to, and he still didn't. Thank the gods that he isn't here to see me like this.

"So," I say, standing, and reaching out a hand. "Are you coming?"

Henry pauses for a minute, and for a split second, I think he's going to turn and run. And I almost want him to go. I want him to leave, and get as far away as possible.

_But I have to save them. I can't let them die. _

Henry looks up at me, and he is actually smiling. Not a smirk, like Pan, but a genuine, friendly smile. He believes me. Gods, he thinks I'm his friend. He doesn't understand, he doesn't realize…

"You know," he says. "I thought you would be different."

_Well, I wasn't expecting that. _

"When you first came down, I thought you would be like Pan," Henry explains. "I thought you would be all smug, and evil. Or that you would be like a Lost Boy, with your weapons and fighting. But you're not like that. You're nice."

He's wrong. He may think I'm nice, but I'm not. I want to reach out to him for reasons I don't understand, and then I'm going to kill him.  
_His first impression was right. I am like Pan. _

Without another word, Henry takes my hand, and lets me lead him back to camp.

I want to speak to him, but I don't. I can't. I won't do that to him.

_Fine thing, aren't you? You won't hurt the boy by talking to him, but you'll promise to protect him, right before you help Pan kill him. _

Henry doesn't talk either. I think he's thinking it over in his head, everything that's going on. I doubt he'll try to escape again, I think he realizes it won't be worth the risk. But as for how he will be in camp? I don't know.

As soon as we enter camp, I'm aware that the eyes of every Lost Boy is on us. Well, more Henry. The kid looks uncomfortable from all the attention, and I give him a small nudge, and an encouraging smile.

What am I doing? I'm befriending him, raising him like a pig for slaughter, except I'm playing with him first. Befriending him. I genuinely want him to like me, but I'm planning to help kill him.

_No, don't think about that. Think about making Henry comfortable. The boys gawking at him isn't helping. Change that. _

"Guys, this is Henry," I tell them.

The boys nod, a few wave, and I even here one call "Hiya, Henry!"

_Right, seems I have to do this all myself. I can't rely on the boys to help me out in making this kid feel welcome. _

"Henry," I say, an idea suddenly popping into my head. "This angry wall of meat over here is Felix. He carries around that massive club because what he lacks in brains he makes up for with his weapon."

Felix gives me an indignant, "Hey!" but I'm already moving forward.

"That one over there is Devon," I go on, pointing to my brother. "He may look like an idiot, talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

Devon looks mutinous, but all I can do is give him an innocent shrug. I can tell Henry is enjoying it, anyway.

"And that one over there is Marcus," I say, gesturing to Marcus. "He's as tough as a rock, and his skull is twice as thick."

Marcus stands up, and looks ready to pounce, but the twinkle in his eye tells me that he gets what I'm doing. Good, I'm not the only one who is working.

"And what about me?"

Henry and I whirl around to see Pan lazily leaning against a tree, looking bored except for his stare at Henry and I, his eyes still predatory.

Look who decided to show up. What else is he going to make me put the kid through, now that he's back?

I crack a smile, and decide to make this my best one, even if it seems playful.

"A low, lying, dirty, steaming pile of dog dirt fired from the backside of a rabid mongrel," I reply immediately, earning a small laugh out of Henry, and a couple of cheers from the others.

Pan bows graciously, as if appreciating a compliment.

_This is what he's been hoping for. To show us as a family. To make us seem united, and ready to accept Henry into our ranks. Not that we're planning to kill him, but to accept him. _

How can the guilt not eat him alive? How can he just be alright with this? He's talking about killing an innocent boy...wait, of course he doesn't regret this, or feels guilty about any of this. I'm the one who left him tied to the tree that removed his ability to regret.

Pan's eyes fall to Henry, and I feel the kid tense next to me. I understand how he feels. He probably doesn't feel the twisted darkness in Pan that I sense every time I look at him, but it's still easy to feel uncomfortable with Pan looking at you.

"I"m glad to see you're up, Henry," he says, giving him a friendly smile.

Henry doesn't reply, but I only have to get one look to tell that he's both angry and scared. But he holds his ground. He doesn't try to run. He just holds firm, and glares at Pan.

"I can see Vin started introducing you to the family," Pan goes on when Henry doesn't reply. "Have they made you feel alright? I thought it would be a little scary, waking up in camp, but-"

"It doesn't matter," Henry snaps, cutting him off. "What you say doesn't matter. My family is coming for me."

_They are, actually. They're already here in Neverland. And if we don't keep them from Henry, then none of this will work. Henry has to give his heart to save the boys. _

_Gods, I'm still planning to help kill him. _

Pan raises an eyebrow, but doesn't seem to be afraid of Henry's statement.

"I know it may seem scary, Henry," says Pan, kindly. "This whole thing. Realizing that you are in Neverland, that you're on your own. But that's alright. Henry, we've been waiting for you to join us."

"Forget it," Henry replies, not letting his fear show.

I have to give the kid some credit for guts. I seem to remember punching Pan in the face when he tried to convince me to join the Lost Ones.

"I'm not joining you, and I'm not becoming a Lost Boy."

At this, as if on cue, all the boys tense and Felix catches my eye for a fraction of the second, before jumping out and shouting, "Henry, no!"

"That is it!" I shout, suddenly stepping away from Henry.

All the anxiety, the uncertainty, and most of all my anger at Pan flow through me, and I let it out in an act. Because that's all this is. An act to convince a boy to let us kill him.

"I blame _you_ for this," I say, pointing accusingly at Pan.

Pan looks at me in surprise, but I can tell he knows what I'm really talking about. And it isn't what Henry just said. It's what Pan didn't say about Henry.

"Every time," I exclaim, letting myself rant. "Every, single, bloody time it's the 'Lost Boys.' Who are Peter Pan's companions? The 'Lost Boys?' Who lives with Pan on Neverland? The 'Lost Boys!' For heaven's sake, has it never crossed anyone's mind that a girl could join? It's not the Lost Boys. It's the Lost Ones, because believe it or not _I am a girl_!"

At this I stamp my foot like a child throwing a tantrum, but I make sure not to direct my anger at Henry. I just made friends with the kid, I don't want to ruin that. But Pan? Pan I can direct everything at. Because he was wrong not to tell me. This was something he shouldn't have done, and he knows it.

Pan gives me a knowing look, but I can tell he knows that this is more than some Lost Boys name complaint. He knows what's really going on here.

"Of course you are, Vin," he says consolingly, as if we've done this a hundred times.

I let out an irritated huff, and cross my arms, as if I'm still not impressed.

"But I do need something from you," Pan says, a pleading tone in his voice.

_Yeah, that's fake. This entire act is fake. _

"Fine," I reply, not having to feign my annoyance.

Henry looks at me questioningly, and I give him a small, reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

"I'll be back in a minute," I tell him, before Pan leads me away from camp, where we won't have prying ears.

_Gods, I still can't believe I'm doing this. He really thinks I'm his friend. He doesn't suspect that I'm planning to kill him. _

But I have too. It's for the boys. If Henry doesn't die, they all do. But why Henry? Why did it have to be a kid, who believes in his family?

I have a sudden picture of if our roles were switched. If I was kidnapped by someone who was planning to kill me. I would have complete faith in my brothers to find me and get me out. It would be the same with any other boy, I'm sure of it. How is that any different from Henry?

When Pan and I are a safe distance from camp, I turn to him, angrily.

_We were in this together. He should never have kept something like this from me. _

"Explain yourself," I snap, before Pan can even get a word out. "Now."

Pan doesn't even bother to look surprised. He probably saw this coming ever since I introduced myself to Henry. He knows that acting innocent will just make me angrier.

However, he knows that he can't talk his way out of this one. Not with this. Not when he is putting me in a place where I have to befriend the boy we are planning to kill.

So instead, he looks away, and doesn't say a word.

"Pan, you knew that it would be a kid!" I exclaim accusingly. "You knew it would be a boy. And in the nineteen years that I've been helping you, trying to save your life, and the lives of all the Lost Boys, you never once thought to tell me this?"

Pan looks up at me indignantly.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, Vin," he tells me, as if angry at my accusation.

_Wait a second. He is angry at me for accusing him? No, no way! He can be ashamed, he can ignore me, but he is not putting this on me. I don't want to do this to a kid, and I certainly had no say in whether or not I got to play a part in killing the kid. _

"The right thing?" I repeat, incredulously. "You thought that this was the right thing?"

"What was I supposed to do?" Pan asks. "Tell you when you agreed to help?"

"Yes!" I snap, cutting him off. "Yes, that is exactly what you should have done."

"And then what?" asks Pan. "Look at how you are acting now, Vin. Imagine if you were like this for nineteen years. The boys needed you when you agreed to help, and to be honest, you needed us."

_What does that have to do with anything? And how could he know that? How could he get into my head, and figure out that when I agreed to help him, I really did need the Lost Boys? I still do…_

"You would be doubting yourself, Vin," Pan goes on when I don't say anything. "You would keep debating whether or not to help us, if it was the right thing to do. There was no telling what you would do. You might have left, but all of us would be hurt if you left, including yourself. So, I decided not to tell you, yes. It was the only way to ensure we wouldn't lose you."

The only way to ensure...gods, he hasn't changed at all has he? He tried to explain to me all those years ago that what he did was right, in kidnapping me, manipulating me, everything. Now, he is doing it again. Trying to explain how lying to me makes his decision better. How it justifies what he did.

"No," I say, not buying it for a second. "You lied to me. You lied to me by not telling me this. You say that I'm your sister, and yet you kept this from me. Do you know who doesn't do that, Pan? People. People don't do this to one another. Not with something like this. Because now I have to act like I'm the kid's friend, and I'm going to help kill him!"

That's what makes the whole thing worse. He did not let me decide. He kept it from me, so that I would have to do it. I can't walk away now, and he knows it. He lied to me, so that I would stay. Just when I thought he was actually starting to care.

Pan sees that aside from ritual suicide, there's no way he's getting out of this with dignity. I know he does. He has made a lot choices in the years we have worked together. A lot of them were smart. But not this. He never should have done this to me.

"I'm sorry, Vin," he murmurs.

_Sorry? He rarely ever apologizes, says that he was wrong. All the same, Sorry doesn't cut it. Not with this. Not with what he did to me. _

I want to reply, to make him feel as bad as I do for what I have to do with Henry. To make him feel as much like a monster as I do.

But that won't help. As much as I hate to admit it, it won't help the boys.

_Because, Felix is right. I don't like it, but he is. It's Henry or my brothers. A young boy who would leave with his family first chance he got, or the people who have been there for me since I joined them. My family. _

But Pan still needs to understand that he can treat me like the naive girl who first came to Neverland, and he can't manipulate me like this anymore.

"You do this to me again," I say, my finger pointing at him. "And it doesn't matter if Henry gives his heart to save them. I'll take the Lost Boys, and lead them away from you, and leave you on your own."

It isn't an empty threat. If I set my mind to it, I could lead the boys away from Pan. It would be hard, and I would have to work for it, but I would do it if I had to.

And if Pan were to put me through something like this again, I would leave him. I would leave, and take those I truly care about with me. No matter what he did to keep me, I would leave. And I would take the boys with me. Not because it would hurt Pan, but because if Pan would try to manipulate me like this, I can't imagine what he would do the boys who are blindly loyal to him.

Pan nods in understanding, but the glare in his eyes tells me that the threat has really gotten to him.

_It doesn't. But, for now, it will have to be enough._

_Alright, I can't just stand here, and act like someone who mopes around when things don't go her way. I need to stay focused. _

"You said you needed something?" I ask, signalling that, at least for now, the conversation is over.

Pan pauses, as if waiting to be sure that I'm serious, and that I'm not angry. I still am, but at least now I can channel it into what he needs me to do.

_I hate this. I do. But I have to keep working. I can't stop, if I want my brothers to come out of this alive. _

"A map," Pan replies. "A map of Neverland. But with some special requirements. I need it to show the location of our camp at all times."

_He wants it to what? _

I know what he is planning to use the map for. There can only be one explanation; at trap for Henry's family. But to give the precise location of our camp at all times? Even that seems a little too risky.

"Trust me," Pan assures me, when he sees the look on my face.

_I don't know. With the stuff he didn't tell me, I'm having a hard time trusting him myself. _

"But in order for the map to show anything, the person holding it must admit to themselves that they are lost," Pan goes on.

Sort of like his pipes I guess. At least now I can see where he is going with this. Manipulating the family, playing them like well-tuned instruments, buying us time to go forward with the plan.

"And," Pan adds. "One last thing. if there is any magic used to find me, us, or anyone, the map will lead them to a certain location. The old camp on the eastern side of the island."

Right, insurance. Something to make sure that they don't cheat their way to find us.

All in all, considering the things he's had me make, it's not that bad.

"Is that all?" I ask sarcastically.

"More or less," Pan replies, with a small shrug.

I'm not sure what the end came is with this. And with Pan, I know there's always an end game.

But I still make it. A blank piece of parchment that shows Neverland, and marks are camp when the holder admits that they are as lost as I am at this moment.

Finished and satisfied, I hand it to Pan, who folds it up, and tucks it into his tunic.

"Another thing," he adds.

_Great, now what?_

"Felix met with the Dark One," he explains, and something tells me this isn't going to be about making a weapon.

"I know," I reply evenly. "Apparently he recognized the doll. How did you know that would work?"

Pan gives me a secretive smirk, and raises his eyebrows as if it is a strange mystery.

"I told you, Vin," he answers. "I met him a while ago. And he wasn't that tough."

I roll my eyes, not buying the act. He want's to act mysterious, get me to ask questions, but he somehow can't ask me if I'm alright with killing an innocent boy.

"The point is," Pan continues. "The Dark One isn't playing. He's ready to take as much as it takes to get his grandson back. The others that are searching for Henry? They aren't playing either. I tried to keep them turned against one another but they figured it out. They will be coming, and when they do, they will be doing whatever it takes to get Henry back."

_I knew that. We all knew that. It's been a fact from the very beginning, even before we knew it was a kid. What difference does it make now? _

"So…" I say, pushing him to get to the point.

Pan looks at me for a moment, as if anticipating my reaction, then he pulls something from his belt.

It's a large piece of black cloth. He tosses it to me and I catch it. I examine it, but find nothing special. My sixth sense tells me it has as much magic as a doornail.

_Pan is giving me a cloth….why?_

I look at Pan questioningly, holding the cloth in front of me.

"It's a mask, Vin," he explains. "To wear over your nose and mouth."

A mask. To wear over my face. Why is he...hold on a second….

"I also want you to change your tunic," he adds. "Just in case. Something a little less flattering, and-well-form fitting."

I look down at my black tunic. Simple, functional, but one look at the figure would tell anyone that I'm a girl.

So that's what it is.

_Right. That's it. There is so many things I can put up with, but this? This is just too much, all together. _

"Are you saying," I say, my voice dangerously calm. "That you want to pretend that I'm not a girl?"

Pan nods, but I can tell he's bracing himself for an outburst.

"I know you don't like it," Pan says, quickly, as if he wants to get in an explanation before I explode. "But if they were to find out that you were a girl, their new plan would be to capture you, and exchange you for Henry."

_Is he saying that he would give into a trade like that? If so, I'm touched. But not that much. _

"And you really think that I can't defend myself?" I ask, anger lacing my voice.

To prove my point, I pull a knife out from my sleeve, and turn it in my fingers.

Pan scoffs, but he does keep a wary eye on my knife.

"Of course not," he replies. "But I know how these people think. They would try to to capture you, even if you can take them down easily. This is just a precaution."

Precaution? Just a precaution? No, he can ask me to make objects, fight the Dark One, even act like everything is fine. But he won't do this to me.

"Pan, you forget," I say venomously. "I. Am. Not. Your. Toy. I can take care of myself, and I can take down anyone who comes after me. I am not putting on some mask, and acting like a boy, just so that you might not be put in a bad situation. You know that I'm one your best, and I tend to be the best when I'm not coddled."

"I know!" Pan all but shouts at me. "But it doesn't change the fact that if you are captured, they do have leverage over us. That we would be spending less time working with Henry, and more time searching for you. Because we need you, Vin. I-"

Whatever he was going to say, he must not like it, because he stops himself short. He takes a deep breath, as if to calm himself, and takes my hand, pressing it closed over the mask. But I'm not letting him close the argument just like that.

"You what?" I ask. "You what, Pan?"

For some reason, Pan is avoiding my eyes, and looks like he would rather be anywhere but here.

"Is it true you kissed Felix today?" he asks.

_That's what he wants to ask? Seriously? What has that got to do with any of this? With me wearing the mask, with Henry?_

"How is that any of your business?" I retort. "Last time I checked, you don't control me. I can kiss anyone I want when I want to, and I don't have to report to you if I do. So, I kissed Felix? So what? It was just a kiss, that came out of nowhere. It didn't mean anything, and even if it did, it's not your place to stick your nose in."

Pan holds his hands up defensively, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he just pushes back the mask, so that it's closer to me.

_What did it matter if I kissed Felix? What did that have to do with the conversation at all?_

"Just...indulge me, Vin," he says, pleadingly. "For now."

I don't want to. I don't want to do this, to let him push me into this.

_Come on, idiot, _I tell myself. _You are willing to help him kill Henry. After agreeing to this, a mask should be nothing. _

Biting my tongue, I take the mask, and keep it at my belt. I'll wear it, for now. But if there is any action Pan wants me out of, he can forget it.

"Just when I see the others," I say. "Which, considering how you had me make the map, you expect us to cross paths a few times."

Pan nods in agreement.

"That's all I ask, Vin," he says.

With that he vanishes.

_Wait, that's it? Seriously? He's having me help kill an innocent kid, and now he's forcing me to wear a mask, and now he is just leaving. This is insane! He's doing all this stuff, not giving me any logical explanation._

There's something he's not telling me. I'm not sure what it is, but there's something he's hiding from me.

I'm not sure what it is, or why he's keeping it, but he has to be hiding something. That's the only logical reason. Why he didn't tell me about Henry being a kid, why he's making me wear a mask. _Something is wrong here, and I need to-_

I'm cut off from my thoughts when Felix appears behind me. His expression is unreadable.

What is he doing here? I thought he was supposed to be watching Henry.

"Hey," I say. "Pan left already, if you were looking for him."

Felix shrugs indifferently, but looks at me closely, as if trying to figure something out.

"Just a kiss, huh?" he asks.

For some reason, I blush.

_I'm not sure why. That's all it was. Just something that happened spur the moment, nothing else. It's not like I have feelings for Felix. He's my brother, nothing more. _

Still, I can't believe he heard that.

"We were playing a game, Felix," I explain. "It just sort of...happened, I guess. You know how I feel about you."

For some reason, Felix doesn't frown. He simply smiles and nods.

Relief sweeps through me. If Felix really did have feelings for me, and that kiss really led him on to believe that I loved him back...it would be despicable to lead him on like that.

_But no. Felix is my brother. And after all these years, my best friend. The one person I can actually rely on. _

"You have to admit, though," Felix says, casually. "I'm a great kisser."

I let out a laugh, which feels great after all the stress I've felt lately.

"You kiss like a maiden aunt," I retort, glad to see that he's in a better mood than I am. "I, on the other hand-"

"Need more practice," Felix says, cutting me off. "Not that any of us would let you get any."

Oh, now he plays the protective brother card? He was the one who blushed every time someone brought up the kiss. Even if it was mostly me.

"I guess I'll have to cross my fingers, and wait," I say, simply, before leading him back to camp.

And, just for a moment, I let myself forget that I'm helping Pan kill Henry. I relax, and enjoy the moment with my brother.

* * *

Hook wasn't sure whether or not to be annoyed or glad.

On the one hand, he was back in Neverland, and Swan had taken the lead. That meant that his every word was going to be taken with suspicion. Swan and her family, the heroes, did not exactly trust him.

When he came back for Swan and her family, it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart. He has been doing it for Baelfire. For his son. It was what Milah and Jess would have wanted. When he heard that the boy was abducted, it was only good form that he help Swan find him.

He truly did want to help her. As stubborn as and untrusting as she was (he still remembered being left behind in the giant's castle), she was a fine, strong woman. A leader, a savior. And, of course, quite lovely when she wasn't yelling at him, fighting him, or trying to stop his plans.

But a fine woman, all the same.

But to be back in Neverland, the place he had spent decades trying to escape...it was like deliberately entering a nightmare. Every time he thought of a place he did not want to be, Neverland and at the Dark One's mercy were always the places he feared the most.

On the other hand, he was the only one who had been to Neverland before. The only one who knew what it was like. How dangerous it was, and how even the smallest mistake could get any one of them killed, even if they were heroes, like Swan's parents, or magical, like the Evil Queen.

Even if Swan, or the prince for that matter, didn't like him, they had no other choice but to trust him. That made the nightmare a bit easier.

But, mostly it was the idea of seeing Pan again. It was an idea he had dreamed of and feared for the longest time.

He had spent years fearing, and hating Pan. The thought of facing his old enemy, an enemy who knew how to get to him, an enemy who would fight dirty to get what he wanted, was more frightening than going after the Crocodile.

He could only imagine what Pan would do when he saw him again. Would he turn against him? Or convince him to turn against Swan and the others? Or would he just leave him to wait, always expecting a trap, but never actually springing one?

Hook had no idea.

Yet, he would see Pan again. He would have the chance to sink his hook into the demon boy's chest, and watch him squirm like a worm. To make him pay for everything he took from Hook in the years he spent in Neverland.

_His men, Baelfire's respect...the lass. _

It was years ago. He knew that. Years since he watched her soul vanish, knowing that she was dying in this accursed place, with no way to help her, bring her back, or even comfort her in her last moments.

And he remembered every second with perfect clarity. The pain was still with him, as if it happened yesterday.

He hated to admit it, but being around Swan...she took away the pain he thought would never fade. The pain of losing Milah. No matter how much he wanted to, he could not hold on to the pain around the woman. At times, he was glad that it was happening.

But not his other pain. Not the pain of losing Jess. None of Swan's work could undo the pain he felt of losing her.

And now, he was back in Neverland, and he was after Pan.

He would make the demon pay, along with every single minion that followed Pan. They would all pay for taking the lass from him. For ripping her away from him before she could escape with him, and for killing her when he could not get to her.

_Don't worry, lass, _he thought, silently telling Jess, wherever she was now. _I will avenge you. I will make them all pay for what they did to you. _

"Something on your mind?"

Hook blinked, turning from his thoughts to look at the prince, as they continued their trek through the jungle. The two had taken the lead, cutting a path that would lead to a ledge. If Hook remembered correctly, which he didn't doubt, they would be able to see Pan's camp with ease. It would be all too easy to find where Pan was keeping the boy. And to find the demon himself.

"What makes you say that, mate?" Hook asked in reply, as he helped the prince cut the foliage out of their way. He wasn't sure how, but the jungle seemed to have grown since Hook had last been in in Neverland.

"Well," replied the prince, his eyes focused on cutting tone particularly thorny branch. "I can't say that we're friends, or that I've been paying attention. But you have been rubbing that pendant since we got here."

Hook looked down, at the chain around his neck. Somehow, while his thoughts were on Jess, his hand had started rubbing the butterfly pendant. The last thing he truly had of her.

"I never noticed," he murmured, quickly drawing his sword to occupy his hand, and to help the prince.

The prince nodded, but he gave a rather obvious glance at the pendant before turning back to his work.

"Didn't take you for the type," he said, offhandedly.

Hook would have missed the slightly teasing tone if he hadn't been paying attention.

"The type?" he repeated, knowing what the prince was going to say next.

"For butterflies," Charming responded, nodding at the pendant.

For some reason, the comment made Hook feel defensive. Had the prince been so blind as to believe that he was just a pirate who ran off with the Dark One's wife?

"It wasn't mine," he replied, as if the prince's comment hadn't gotten to him at all.

Charming looked surprised, but didn't stop moving.

"So, who was she?" he asked.

Hook was rather impressed that the prince caught it so fast, but he didn't let it show. Partly because he didn't want him to know how much the pendant meant to him. But mostly because he just didn't like Charming.

The feeling was mutual.

"What?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

Fortunately, the prince bought his act.

"Well, you're not one for butterflies, so that was something for a woman," Charming explained. "But you wouldn't carry it around like that unless you lost her. So, who was she? A sister?"

For a moment, Hook was ready to tell the prince the truth. To make him feel guilty for the taunts, to hurt him, by telling him what he had gone through. What the had lost when he got out of Neverland. That he had not just escaped Neverland out of luck. That someone remarkable had gotten him out, and he lost her for it.

But, no. He wouldn't do that to her memory. He wouldn't use her in such a way. Jess wouldn't have wanted that.

"The Dark One wasn't the only one who I want to kill," Hook said as an explanation. "He wasn't the only one to take something precious from me."

With that, he walked on, signalling the prince that the conversation was over.

Let the prince believe what he will. Let Pan have ears all over the island, and realize that Captain Hook was ready to come after him. Let all of that happen.

He would avenge her. No matter what it took, if he had to cut down every single Lost Boy to do it, he would avenge his lass. And this time, unlike he had all those years ago, he wouldn't fail her.

* * *

**A/N: **

Hey y'all! Sorry for the late update. The last couple of weeks have been very, very busy and I kept running into extreme cases of Writer's Block. But, with the help of my betas, it is over. Hopefully.

And, yay! Hook is back! I hadn't realized until I started writing him that we haven't seen him since he thought Jess died. I've missed him.

Anyway, a special thanks to **GiraffePanda2, Kelly1432, cebranger, nightwatchers2, selenastarsparrow1230, ThinkDance, Amazon824, Kayleen143, LuvinYouWasRed, REDROBINS007, varjotanssija, We're all M-M-Mad Here, SSGT IronHide,** **Caeleste,** and **Fangirl Moustache**for putting this story on alert, and to **moonlight13warrior, cebranger, selenastarsparrow1230, LucieSatine, Amazon824, Kayleen143, REDROBINS007, grapejuice101,** **We're All M-M-Mad Here, **and **Fangirl Moustache** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **sarah0406, .Cullen Fan, 8839, mercenary2.0, GiraffePanda2, Elvira Silver, Mokina, The Wolf Who Writes, ColdHeartAngel, songwriter16, The girl who cried I'm Batman, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Ellimac1716, Female whovian, selenastarsparrow1230, chinaluv, slothmccall, Scarletknight17, We're All M-M-Mad Here, Fangirl Moustache **Anxious reader18, Lauren, NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, Guest Moustache, Fiona, twentyfour24, and the many, many guests who left reviews that make my day! And, as always, a special thanks to **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy, **for being incredible betas!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Hook's return, and Jess's relationship with Henry are especially appreciated. They were the things I enjoyed writing the most. **:)**


	45. Chapter 45

When Felix and I get back to camp, Henry is still sitting by himself.

He hasn't gotten up and run away again, so at least that means he's trusting me.

That's the last thing he should be doing...no, I'm not going to continue on with that. It doesn't help me, and it doesn't help my brothers. Felix is right, Pan is right. It's us or him. And I made the decision a long time ago that I would fight for my brothers. Not for me, not for Pan, but for the Lost Boys.

I share a glance with Felix, and he gives me a reassuring squeeze. He doesn't realize how badly I needed that. That I needed to know that I'm not alone in this, and that I even though I may hate myself for doing this, it is the right thing to do. I have to save the boys, no matter the price.

I just have to breath, and get back to work. It is the only thing that I can do, right now. I have to earn Henry's trust, even if it means pretending to be his friend.

Then again, I want him to be my friend. I want him to trust me. He is a good kid, and I don't want to see him hurt. I just have no other choice.

"Hey," I say to him, sitting beside him, while Felix goes to talk to the other boys. "Told you I'd be back."

Henry smiles, but looks around in confusion.

"Where's Pan?" he asks, looking over his shoulder, back into the forest.

_Ah, right, he doesn't know that Pan can teleport. He thinks Pan is still here. No, the bastard isn't, but still…_

"Who knows?" I reply, shrugging. "He has a habit of going off, and doing his own thing, and doesn't care who knows about it."

Even though I try to keep my voice calm, a hint of bitterness enters my voice.

I'm still angry at Pan. He's lied to me, he's hiding something from me, and he's asking me to do something terrible, because he knows that I will go through with it. And the mask. The mask is just annoying.

_But, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to be friends with Henry. _

Henry isn't stupid. He notices my tone, and looks at me questioningly, not even having to ask.

I could tell him that I'm angry at Pan for all the stunts he's pulled on me, for everything that has happened...gods, I was actually beginning to trust him, before Henry came. But, he's still lied to me, and treated me like I'm glass. If he makes the slightest wrong move, I break.

_I'm not glass. Maybe I was, once, before I came to Neverland. But not anymore. I'm harder, sharper, and I can take care of myself. But if someone lies, or keeps something from me, then I tend to feel hurt. It's natural. I still can't see how Pan hasn't wrapped his head around this. _

But, I can't tell this to Henry. I can't let him see the issues I have with Pan. The whole point is that he trusts me and Pan enough to give Pan his heart. If he sees we are arguing, it will be harder to win him over.

"Pan and I don't always see eye-to-eye," I explain, smiling at Henry. "He thinks he can treat me like a helpless girl, when I'm perfectly capable of handling myself."

Henry nods, satisfied with my answer. He believes that Pan and I are arguing because I'm a girl. With my fake explosion a little while earlier, that would make sense.

_He has no idea that the real reason we were arguing is because I did not know we would have to kill _him_. Just like we want...gods, I'm horrible._

But I have no other choice.

"I have a question," Henry says, pulling me from my thoughts.

_Again with the questions….he really does remind me of Bae. Except, I freed Bae. I got him out. With Henry, I'm not only supposed to stand aside, I have to help Pan kill him. _

"Ask away," I reply, nodding for him to go on. That I will answer whatever he asks. Even if it means lying to him.

"I've read the Peter Pan story," Henry explains. "Like, a lot. But...I've never heard of you. I know Pan took in Wendy Darling, and he's friends with Tiger Lilly and Tinker Bell, but I haven't heard of a Lost Girl named Vin."

_Yeah, I should have expected that one. I had the same questions when I first came here. I was wondering why Pan was the manipulative, lying, evil bastard I know, and not the idiotic, but charming kid from the fairy tale._

I can't tell him the whole truth, though. I can't tell him that Tink and I haven't spoken for years, that Tiger Lilly died with her people, when Pan killed them. That Wendy did come to Neverland, but the price of her return was Bae. It would ruin everything.

I have to be like Pan. I have to keep certain truths from him, and tell him other truths so that he will cooperate with us.

_Gods, I hate you, Pan._

"Makes sense," I reply, casually. "I mean, the Peter Pan story was around long before I was born. I thought it was just a story before Pan brought me here. I wouldn't be in the story myself. Actually, compared to the boys here, I'm younger than them."

That part is true. Most have been in Neverland for centuries, like Felix and Marcus. I've only been around for a couple of decades, give or take.

Come to think of it, how long have I been here? I know that time works differently here. Back in the other realms, a day can be two or three weeks here in Neverland. Two years back in the Land Without Magic can be five years here. And I haven't really kept track of all the years that I've been here.

_Wait...what year _was_ it that I was taken? It's been so long...I haven't really thought about it. It feels like a lifetime ago, and a lifetime of another girl. A girl whose sole goal in life was to raise her little sister right. A girl who had good intentions, but was angry with the world, and so painfully naive in how to survive on her own. And she was me. She still is me. I came to that conclusion a while ago._

I am both Jess, and Vin. They are only names, but they are still the same person: _me._

"You said Pan brought you here?" Henry points out, pulling me back to our conversation. "Why did he?"

_So the kid noticed that, did he? Not bad...of course this means I'll have to conceal yet another truth. _

"You know how I have magic," I say, trying out an angle that is not exactly false, but not wholly true either.

Henry nods, sitting up, as if eager to hear the story.

_Huh, none of the boys ever act like that unless I read to them. _

"Well," I continue, trying to fight the feeling twisting inside of me. "I was born in a place without magic. So, I didn't even know I had any magic for most of my life. Then, Pan found me. He needed someone powerful, and he realized that if I was brought to Neverland, my magic would be extremely powerful. So, he had me brought to Neverland, and my magic took off from there."

_It's still not the truth. Not entirely. I haven't told him how I had to trade myself for my sister, how I spent several years on the run, and how I couldn't leave Neverland, even if I wanted to._

Secrets that I can't tell him. If he finds out, if he suspects Pan in the slightest way, this could all come crumbling down. I can't let that happen.

"But, Pan took you?" Henry repeats. "Didn't you have a family, or friends? You just let him take you, and didn't look back?"

_Oh crap. This was what I was hoping to avoid. I don't want to lie to him, but if I tell him the truth then he starts to suspect Pan. _

I can try telling him that my parents had all but abandoned me, but that still leaves out the fact that Abby was still left behind.

I open my mouth to answer something like that, but I'm cut off when Pan comes to sit by us.

_Gods, I didn't even realize he was here. I would have thought my sixth sense would have caught onto him. I need to practice that, I've gotten lazy. _

Or maybe just being around Henry, and the magic he has inside, cancels out the feeling of Pan's darkness.

"It didn't matter if she did," Pan interrupts, stopping me from answering. "When she joined, the Lost Boys became Vin's family. It's what happens when you join the Lost Ones, Henry. It's a new life, a new beginning. A new family."

_Yeah, I remember when he tried to pull that one on me. I spent years running from him and his so-called family. It took me years to accept the boys as my brothers. Does he really think that will change now, with Henry? _

Henry shoots Pan a look of disbelief and disgust, as if he can't understand why Pan would even try to use the family card. I understand the feeling. I was the same way, for the longest time.

The kid better get used to it. Pan's not going to stop working for this. I'm not either, even if I don't like it.

"It may seem strange at first," I tell Henry, as if explaining it. "The whole idea of starting a new family with us. Believe it or not though, we are a family, Henry. We look after one another, and we support each other."

Henry scowls, and I can tell he doesn't like hearing that from me. But that part is true, at the very least. I look after my brothers, and they have looked after me for so long.

"I get it," I say, trying to defuse the situation before it blows up in my face. Right now, I'm the only person Henry thinks of as a friend. If I lose this, we may lose our only link with Henry.

_Besides, I want to be his friend. Even if I'm planning to help kill him. _

"You were taken against your will, you feel really scared, you probably left your family behind," I go on, thinking of how I was when I first came here. "Trust me, I understand that. But these boys...they grow on you. They really do."

Pan is watching me and Henry, as if trying to analyze how the two of us interact. He probably wants to be sure that Henry has a friend in me.

Henry has already admitted that he thinks that I'm nice. I guess I should have realized that I can be nice, when I want to. But I'm still planning to help kill him, while pretending to be his friend. I may be nice, but I'm still a monster. There is a difference between nice, and good, and sadly, I'm just nice.

_But it's for my brothers. Isn't that good? _

_Then again, the road to hell is paved with good intentions….But if it saves them….I don't know... _

"Is that what happened with you?" Henry asks, sounding curious, but unconvinced.

Pan shifts, and he meets my eyes for a brief second. I can almost hear him warning me not to tell the truth. That if I do, it can go wrong. That it will hurt our chances.

_Do you know what? Hell with that. If I try to skirt around this, Henry will know because this truth is too obvious to deny. _

"Yes," I reply, for once telling Henry the honest truth. "Yes, that's what happened to me."

Henry doesn't look scared, or repulsed, like I thought he might. Instead, he looks thoughtful. Maybe he's wondering how I can do it, maybe he's considering it. I really don't know. But it's a start. It's a start.

Something rushes over me suddenly, like a strange smell passing from out of nowhere, and staying. Something magical, definitely. But, not exactly good.

My thoughts go to the map Pan had me make. He made it so that Henry's family would have to admit to feeling lost in order to for it to work. But at this point, I know the feeling of when something of mine works. It's sharp, but it's nothing bad.

This is different. It's as if it's tainted, like oil being poured into clear water.

_No...they wouldn't...Pan surely would have warned them, but they wouldn't have been so stupid as to actually use magic on the map, would they? Pan must have told them that it wouldn't have worked, but…_

I see Pan stirring next to me, and I can tell he senses it too. They used magic on the map. They broke the rules that Pan set, and cheated at his game. Not just found a loophole to exploit, but blatantly cheated. Gods help them….

"You feel it too?" I ask Pan, confirming what I already know.

Pan nods, and gets to his feet. I'm not sure what he has in mind. I know he was planning for this to happen from the beginning. That's why he had me put make the map so that it would move to one of our old camps if someone used magic on it. But he wants to do about it...that I have no idea.

"What are you doing?" I ask, ignoring the Henry's confused look.

Pan looks at me, and I can tell he's hesitating at tell me.

_Oh, hell, no. He cannot be thinking what I think he is. If this is about me, and not getting me involved, because I'm a girl. _

"Pan, this better not be about me being a girl again," I say, a warning edge to my voice. "Because if you think for one moment that I'm sitting this out…"

"Sitting what out?" pipes Henry. "What are you talking about?"

We can't exactly tell him that we're going after his family. That would not be good. For one, he would not like the fact that we are after his family. But if he learned that his family is on Neverland...he'll go after them. He'll fight back until they get him back. We can't let that happen.

"There's something we need to take care of, Henry," I explain. "And Pan here, thinks that it's too dangerous for me."

Pan gives me a withering look, but I stand my ground.

He wanted me because I'm the most powerful Dreamer. He said I would be the greatest Lost One. Well, he's right. I'm powerful, and he's been having me prepare to fight people like this, both magical and with weapons. It's about time he let me use that training.

"Vin, it's not that you're a girl-" Pan tries to explain, but I cut him off.

"Pan, come on," I protest. "I agreed to wear your stupid mask. If you're so afraid that I'll get hurt, you'll have to lock me up somewhere. You trained me to be one of your best fighters, and I have my magic. You didn't just train me for the heck of it. Let me help you with this."

Pan looks at me, and I know he's weighing his options. He knows that I'm good in a fight, and that I'll give him a an advantage if that's what he's planning; fighting Henry's family. On the other hand, there is the chance that I may be exposed as a girl, and that I may get hurt from it.

_I've spent over a decade with the Lost Boys. I don't think there's something that can make me better prepared than I am now. _

"Fine," Pan says, eventually. "But you wear the mask."

I roll my eyes, but nod.

I really don't have time to gripe about this right now. If it lets me go, just wearing the mask, then I'll go with it.

"You're leaving?" asks Henry, doubtfully, giving Pan an untrusting glance.

Right, there's Henry. I can trust the other boys to look after him, but all the same, I don't think the kid wants to stay on his own, without anyone he knows. Besides, I know Pan will probably come with us, but if he doesn't...I don't want Henry alone with him. I say that because I remember every time Pan got me on my own. Every time I cracked a little bit more. I don't wnat that to happen to this kid.

_This isn't right, _I tell myself. _This thing you're doing, where you're his friend, but planning to kill him. It won't work. You have to decide. Are you going to kill the kid, or let him live. It's him, or your brothers. _

The answer should be obvious. But it doesn't feel right. None of it does.

"Henry," I say, turning to the kid. "I have to go help with something, but I'll be back soon. I promise."

Henry looks at me with a look of half worry, half plead. He's asking me not to leave him. I'm the closest thing to a friend or ally here, and he doesn't want me to go. To leave him alone.

I don't blame him. I've been around Pan long enough to notice the look he's given Henry. And that he's been giving me lately. I'm not sure what it's about, but I don't like it. I haven't seen him look at me, or anyone for that matter, since...since before I accepted who I was as Jess and Vin.

I look around, trying to find someone I can trust to make sure that Henry's safe while I'm gone. I know that Pan will be with me, but if I can help Henry feel better by just having someone around, it will help Henry feel more comfortable around.

"Hey, Mat!" I call, spying him sparring with one of the others.

At my call, he immediately stops, and stands at mock attention, giving me a salute.

"Yes, general?" he asks.

I'm not sure whether I want to laugh or to roll my eyes.

At least he has a sense of humor still intact.

"Watch over Henry while we're out, would you," I say, nodding towards Henry.

Mat glances at Henry, who shyly waves at him. Mat looks from Henry, to me, to Pan. His face changes as he's realizes that he's not going to be coming with us if he watches over Henry.

"Oh, come on, Vin-" he whines, but I cut him off with a glare.

I am going on this thing, and I'm not staying because one boy doesn't want to contribute his fair share.

"Mat, you're over fifty years old," I snap. "Grow up."

The other boys all turn to me in shock, as if I said a dirty word.

_Oh, for crying out loud!_

"It's a figure of speech, guys," I explain, but I give Henry a playful wink.

He looks like he's about to laugh, which makes me cheer inside. He's happy. Or, at least not as scared as he was before. This is good. This means I'm winning him over.

_But for what? To kill him, or to befriend him? _

"Alright, boys!" Pan calls, having gathered the others attention.

I clear my throat, and he rolls his eyes

"And girl," he adds, "Let's move!"

I give Henry one last reassuring smile, before I head out with at least eighteen of our best fighters, following Pan into the jungle. I don't want to even think about the fact that I may be heading to help kill the boy's family. I can't think of that. It isn't an option.

_A conscience is a luxury you can't have right now, _I tell myself. _You knew this when you agreed to join Pan. When you decided to fight for the Lost Boys. You knew it would cost someone's life, but you agreed to do it anyway. Do not back out now. _

Still, Henry looks so much like Bae…

Normally, I would talk to Pan, or Felix, but the two of them are up ahead, whispering to each other. Something tells me that they are talking about me, by the way that Pan keeps glancing at me, half with concern, have with fear, and how Felix appears to be making a great effort not to look at me.

Oh, great, now there's that. I know Pan is hiding something, but now he's including Felix. Now, Felix is going to keeping secrets from me, and he will insist he can't tell me for my own good. Just as wearing the mask is for my own good.

_Honestly, I'm a big girl. I can handle the truth. I'm going to help them kill a kid. I'm sure I can take whatever they are hiding from me._

Eventually, we stop near an old camp of ours. We don't usually go here, it's just some place to go if there is ever an emergency, like a younger boy getting lost in the jungle. It's fairly easy to find, even if it is in the jungle, and we send someone to check it every day, just in case someone did lose their way. But, for now it's empty.

Pan takes a moment to look around the camp, and I use the moment to feel for any magic. Naturally, I feel Pan's darkness, and the sharp feeling of the magic on the map. Nothing else.

_So we don't know if it's the Dark One, or some other part of Henry's family. Just great…_

Pan comes back, and shares a small glance with Felix, before looking back towards us.

_No, please, continue hiding something from me. It's not like I can tell or anything. _

Still, bringing it up will do me no good now. For now, I'm just going to help with the plan, whatever it is, and I can push them later.

_But, seriously, Pan and Felix should realize by now that I work best when I know everything that's going on._

That is, until I realized that Henry was the one we have to kill.

"Well?" I ask, pushing away my thoughts for the task at hand. "What's the plan?"

And it better be good. If it is the Dark One, I really don't like our chances. The last thing we need is a bloodbath, and someone like that walking away unscathed.

Pan turns to us, and I can almost see the wheels in his head turning.

"The Dark One won't be joining us tonight," he starts, and I can almost hear the relief that sweeps over us.

_I wasn't the only one worried about what was going to happen if we faced the Dark One. From what Pan told me...no, I don't want to think about it. Pan says he isn't as tough as he seems, but somehow I doubt that we would get away without losing at least one person. _

But if we aren't facing the Dark One, then who are we up against?

"He has broken off from the rescue party," Pan explains, acknowledging the relief that still is going around us. "If and when he does attack, he'll be on his own. This means that tonight, we are going to face five people, three of which are skilled fighters, another is the Evil Queen, and the other is the Savior. Powerful, but also intent on avoiding bloodshed."

Well, at least that is good. Fighters, we can take down. We have been training for this for ages, and we know this land better than they do. It gives us an edge over them. The Evil Queen is strong with dark magic, but I've dealt with Pan for years. She shouldn't be a problem. I don't even know what a Savior is, but if Pan isn't worried, they shouldn't be a problem. And none of them want to kill us, unlike the Dark One.

_Wow! I may actually end up having some fun tonight. _

"So, it should be easier than Vin when she doesn't get her beauty sleep?" Marcus calls out from beside me.

This causes some laughter among the others, and I lightly hit him upside the head.

"Keep in mind what I'm like when you try to wake me up from my 'beauty sleep,' Marcus," I retort, drawing a knife, and spinning it through my fingers.

Not that I'm planning to use it, but I have pulled it out every time someone has tried to wake me up early, or loudly. The boys learned very quickly not to try.

"Alright you two," Pan says, calling us back to attention. "We have work to do. Tonight, Henry's family is already on their toes. They must have suspected the map was a trap, or they wouldn't have cheated. So, what do you say that we teach them what happens when you cheat with the Lost Ones?"

The others cheer, and I join in, but a tad late.

I can't help thinking of what he said.

_Henry's family. Here, coming after him. Powerful, but not willing to hurt anyone. _

Just as I was. All those years ago. I haven't thought about it in ages, but that's exactly what I was like when I first came. Trying to find the person I loved the most, so scared of what I'd find, but more scared for my sister. Unaware of the power I had, and scared to use it.

_No, it's not like that. It's different. When I came, lives weren't on the line. The lives of everyone I loved were not at stake. This is different. _

Now, there's another person Henry reminds me of. My sister. First Bae, then me, then my little sister. Oh, gods…

"We aren't killing anyone," Pan goes on. "Just attacking them, and showing who is better. Scaring them, as they see how powerful we truly are. Don't kill, but attack, until I give my signal."

_Not a bad plan. It's more a scare tactic than anything else, but it is effective. It worked on me, when I was running from boys all over the island. _

"You should appear to be alone when they first arrive, Pan," I suggest. "We can hide until you signal us to come out with-I don't know-something about winning. It gives us the element of surprise, and if they see you first, they will be planning how to take just you down. We come out of nowhere, and they don't have time to think of a new plan."

Pan nods, and I see a new gleam come into his eyes.

_Oh great, he either loves that idea, or he has a new plan. _

"Excellent idea, Vin," he says. "That gives me something else...Felix, you help the others hide; Vin, I need to see you for a minute."

_This is going to be about the mask, I know it. Well, I might as well avoid the argument, and save the time. _

I take the mask from its knot around my belt, and tie it tightly over my nose and mouth, imagining my tunic as something less form fitting that does not give away my fit, but undeniably female, figure. I pull up my hood to complete the look.

I raise my eyebrows questioningly at Pan, silently asking if the disguise is convincing enough.

It better be, because I can't think of anything else I can do on short notice.

Pan nods approvingly, but still beckons me over.

_Oh, so it's not the mask then? What is it? Is he going to say what he's been hiding from me? _

I approach him with a questioning glance, as the other boys move of to different hiding places around the camp. Another advantage of the camp is that it is enclosed in a sort of bowl, so that when Henry's family arrives, they will have to fight for high ground the entire time.

_Henry's family...no, not right now._

"Vin, if one of the younger boys were taken, " Pan says in answer to my look. "How would you feel if the people who took him led you to believe you find him, so that you thought he was right there with you, and instead, it was just the kidnappers lying in wait for you?"

It wouldn't matter how I felt. Someone hurts my brothers, I would hurt them back in worse ways, plain and simple.

_But, on the other hand, if they lured me into the trap like that…_

"Angry," I reply, truthfully. "Upset."

_Wait a second...is he saying that we're going to do the same thing? Because if so, that is brilliant. It would throw them off even more, and they would be doubly surprised by the fact they were surrounded._

"What do you have in mind?" I ask, a note of playful suspicion in my voice.

Pan just grins.

_Oh, I'm going to regret this, I know it. _

"Do you remember what Henry was wearing?" Pan asks.

_That's a little odd. I mean, yeah, I remember. Scarf, plaid shirt, jeans but I fail to see...oh, now I get it. _

"Seriously?" I ask, in reply. "That's your plan?"

Pan nods, looking rather pleased with himself. I can see it working out, actually. If I did it right, and he kept his back turned to them…

"Are you sure that's what you want me to do?" I ask. "I mean, I can always create an illusion. It's harder, but it may be just as effective."

Pan shakes his head, and I don't let a hint of relief show. I really don't want to make an illusion, I just offered it out of courtesy.

"I need you focused, Vin," he says. "Don't waste your energy on an illusion. Not tonight."

I agree with this. An illusion would take up too much energy, energy I can't waste in a fight. But, this doesn't mean I can't give him grief about his plan.

"You know," I say, grinning behind my mask. "I'm pretty sure you just wanted to try out Henry's clothes."

Pan scoffs, but I still push forward with the idea.

"I mean, you've been changing your look around a lot, lately," I go on. "Your Lost Boy disguise, now this. I think you just want to try on the clothes. They did look comfy…"

Pan lets out a snort, and I can tell I'm annoying him.

_Oh, he's annoyed? The guy has been hiding something from me, made me wear the mask, and still nearly left me behind. I'm sure he can stand being annoyed. _

"Just make the clothes, Vin," he orders.

I smile, even though he can't see it underneath the mask, and imagine his clothes changed to look like Henry's did. It only takes a second, and by the time I'm done, Pan steps back, admiring my work.

"Well done, Vin," he says, looking down at the coat and scarf that I gave him.

It does look convincing, so long as he keeps his back turned. This will probably work. And, I'm kind of excited about it. Meeting Henry's family, but also seeing what we're up against. Scary, but exciting.

_Except I'm planning to kill the kid when they leave...no, I can't think about it. _

My sixth sense suddenly picks up on two things. A feeling of light magic, not unlike I felt with Henry, and a feeling of darkness, but not as twisted as Pan's. This must be the Evil Queen and Savior. I can't think of any other explanation.

I turn to Pan, who is still taking in his new look.

"They're coming," I tell him, causing him to look up.

For a second, he looks at me, and I wonder if he is going to tell me the truth. Instead, he just nods, and looks around to be sure the others have hidden themselves well.

"You better join Felix," he says. "Wait for my signal. The word is 'win.'"

_Win. Got it. Because winning is everything to him. _

I don't say anything though. I just go down from where we are standing, to find Felix crouched not too far away from the camp.

"Hey," I say as a greeting, before crouching beside him. "You ready?"

Felix nods, and I'm almost tempted to ask him what's going on. But, no. Not right now. Not when we are about to have a fight. It will have to wait. For now.

But, I need to find out. The fact that Pan has dragged Felix into this makes it even worse. Felix is one of the few people who knows what's really going on, and he's the only one I trust to tell me the truth. Pan keeps secrets because it's supposedly for my own good. Felix tells me though. That's why I trust him more than Pan.

_But this? This is taking away that. Felix is now hiding something from me, because Pan asked him too. He is loyal to Pan, and he will hide something from me if Pan says it's right. The only time he's ever shown Pan defiance is when he stopped Pan from torturing me. But, to "protect" me, he'll keep a secret from me._

I hear footsteps, and voices talking in the distance. Voices that are far too mature to be any of the Lost Boys, and definitely not Tink's.

"No one's here," calls a voice from a woman, her tone slightly accusing. "Maybe your spell was wrong, Regina."

"Yes, blame me," another woman snaps. "Again."

I'm assuming the woman is Regina, and from what I can tell just by the small exchange, the two don't get along.

_But those voices...I've heard them before. Where have I heard them? I know them, but I don't remember where I heard them I don't think I know anyone named Regina... _

For a moment, there is silence, and I can hear the group coming into the camp. Honestly, they better learn how to become quiet on their feet, if they don't want to be found. They may as well be stomping around, from all the noise they're making.

The feeling of light and dark magic becomes even stronger, but what really gets to me is the light magic. It's like Tink's magic. Strong. Extremely strong. Actually, forget strong, it's almost pure power. But it's untapped. It's there, but untouched.

_How can someone have so much power, and not use it to their advantage? _

"Hey guys," says a third woman. "Hold on."

I haven't heard that voice before, but it from what I sense and hear, I'm pretty sure she's the one with the light magic. The Savior.

"Is that…"

She must have seen Pan, in his disguise. For a second, I feel a rush of pride at my magic, but I think Pan deserves the credit. It was his plan, after all.

"Henry!" the Savior calls.

I can almost feel the surprise of the group, as Pan is undoubtedly turning around to show them the truth.

"Hi, Emma," says Pan, from a few yards away from where Felix and I are hiding.

I can almost hear him smirking at Emma...the Savior, I'm assuming.

_Wait a second...Emma. I know that name. I know it. It's right at the tip of my tongue, but I know the name. Gods, I can't think of it. _

There is a tense pause, as the group takes in that Pan is here, and not the boy they were looking for.

"Where the hell is Henry?" demands Emma, clearly trying to keep her surprise out of her voice.

We told you where he is. It's on the map. Check the map. It works. I should know, I made it.

"You broke the rules," Pan replies, and from what I can hear, and sense, he appears to be walking around. "That's not fair. Bad form."

As soon as the word are out of his mouth, Felix nudges at me, to get my attention.

"Hey," he breathes, as Pan goes on to say something else. "Pan said that when he delivered the map, there was a man in a black trenchcoat."

A black trenchcoat. Pan was delivering his map, and that's what he noticed? A black trenchcoat?

_Never mind that; when did he even tell Felix this? When they were discussing things on the way, no doubt. Or, perhaps before we left camp, when I had Mat watch over Henry. _

"Okay…" I whisper, telling him to continue.

"He's mine," Felix replies flatly. I look at him and I'm taken aback to see he is dead serious. I thought he would be joking, but I can tell by the look on his face that he means it. He has to face this man in the black trenchcoat.

_What is it? What is it that has Felix so riled up about this one man? Well, if it really means that much to him…_

"Alright," I mutter.

I'm not sure why he needed to claim him, but if it really means that much to him, I'm sure I can let it slide. I was planning on taking care of the Evil Queen as it was.

Felix nods, as Emma demands that Pan give Henry back.

"Sorry," I hear Pan reply. "I can't. Don't you know?"

There's a pause, and instinctively, I draw my knives, ready for the signal.

"Cheaters never win."

_That's it. There's the signal. _

Without pause, Felix and I move from our hiding place, while the others all emerge from their hiding places around the camp, effectively surrounding the group. Some are calling out, others pulling out their weapons, while Felix and I take our places beside Pan.

The group is clearly surprised at there being so many of us, and all fully armed.

Now that I get a look at their faces...yes, I've seen them before. The light haired man...yes, I saw him in my dreams, all those years ago. The prince who died to save his baby girl. The woman with long dark hair, whose magic is dark. The Evil Queen. How did I not recognize that voice? I thought that voice was going to haunt me as much as the dreams of the curse.

_But if this is the prince and Evil Queen from my dreams, then that means the woman, Emma...she's the baby I saw them save. The one who got away. The one who I_ helped _get away, by warning the prince. _

_And Henry...Henry must be her son. That's the only explanation. _

My eyes suddenly fal on the man in the black trenchcoat, the one Felix insists he has to have.

_Wait a second. I know him! That's-_

Before I can think any further, the others start firing their arrows at the group.

The other dark haired woman fires arrows back, while the Prince cuts them out of the air, blocking them.

The other three duck out of the way, and move into the fight.

_Guess that's my cue, then. _

I rush forward, my eye intent on the Evil Queen, as her fingers practically cackle with magic. Luckily, the others know how to aim, and none of the dreamshade coated arrows come near me.

I'm hear the prince shout "Mary Margaret!" in warning, and out of the corner of my eye, I see the man push the woman out of the way from a close arrow.

_He shouldn't have risked it, _I think wistfully. _We aren't trying to kill, not tonight. She was not in danger. _

I'm about ten feet from the Evil Queen when I see three others, Aron, Flynn, and Bryon, come out of the shadows, and run at her with warrior yells. With a simple wave of her hand, a purple glow comes out of her hand, and all three are knocked down by an invisible wall.

_They should have seen that coming. They should have let me or Pan handle her. _

They don't seem to be hurt though, so I keep going. I have to be clever about this. I can't go barging in, like the other three. That will be too obvious, and too easy to undermine.

Instead, I throw a knife, so that it misses her by a good ten inches. But it is enough to get her attention.

She turns to me, and I draw another knife. I can feel her dark magic, and once, it might have made me sick. But after being around Pan for all these years, it's nothing. She takes one look at me, and appears unimpressed.

_Big mistake, highness. _

"That was badly aimed," she says in a snarky tone, referring to the knife that I just threw.

I can't suppress a smirk, as I step forward. Wait...Pan said they can't know I'm a girl…

"That was a warning," I reply in a gruff voice.

Without waiting another second, I throw another knife, straight at her. She doesn't have time to duck, or use her magic. The only thing that saves her is that I turn the knife into water just as it's about to hit its target, so that she gets a face full of water.

_Yes, majesty. Two can play the magic game. _

The water knife is effective in distracting her as she coughs and sputters, so I have time to run close, and grab her arm. Without warning, I twist around, and grip her by her shoulder. Using my momentum and weight, I bend down, and send her flying over my shoulder. She lands on the ground, hard, but not too hard.

I crouch over her, draw my third knife, and hold it to her throat.

I could kill her right now, if I wanted. But I don't. I don't want to kill anyone, no matter what they've done. Even if this is the woman who put me through years of endless nightmares, and did unspeakable things to her own people. I don't want to kill. Not tonight.

_Still, I expected a bit more of a challenge from the Evil Queen. Ah well, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. _

"Do yourself a favor," I hiss to her, still trying to keep my voice gruff. "Just stay down."

The woman groans from under me. I guess I'll have to take that as a yes.

"Regina!"

I look up to see the Savior-Emma-running towards us, either to help the queen, or to take me down. Probably both.

Within a second, I weigh my options. I could fight her off, but if she does, there's the chance of the Evil Queen getting up, and with fighting two women with as much magic as they have...maybe, with luck. But if this is just a skirmish, to show who really has the power, then that really is kind of pointless.

_Alright then. Running it is. _

I get up, and turn around, running up the hill as Emma-Henry's mother-chases after me. I go as fast as I can, and with my training and endurance, I should be faster. But Emma is a mom, and in her eyes, I'm standing in the way of her and getting her kid back. And that makes her fast, and makes me her target. As I make my way up, I see Bryan and Perrin running past me, downwards, right towards Emma.

_What are they doing? Are they going to fight her or…no, with the way they're running at her...gods, they're trying to keep her off _my _tail!_

_Oh my...you stupid, stupid idiots. You're going to get yourselves killed for me. _

Luckily, Emma doesn't fight them. She just shoves them out of the way, as she continues to chase me up the hill. And worse, she's catching up.

She's right on my tail when someone barrels into her from the side, and send her rolling down the hill. I'm still making my way up, but as soon as I'm at the top, I turn to see who my rescuer is.

At the bottom of the hill, Emma his pinned down the boy, his hood fallen back. It's Marcus.

I only have time to register this as she grabs her saber, and holds it to my brother's throat, a crazed look in her eye.

"Where's Henry?" she screams. "Where is he?"

Marcus only looks up at her, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face.

I take one look at the situation, and draw my knives. I don't exactly have a plan, but I don't care. Marcus is in danger because of me.

I have taken only on step forward, when Pan catches my eye. Before I can break my glance, he holds his hand up ever so slightly.

_He's signalling me to wait. Why is he...Marcus is in danger! Can't he see that? I don't care what his plan is; I'm not losing Marcus to some skirmish because Pan has some plan in mind!_

But when I turn back to look at Marcus, and Emma, something has changed. I can't tell what it is, but Emma's eyes have cleared, and she looks down at Marcus with horror. Like she can't believe what she is seeing. Or what she is doing.

_Is that...is that what I looked like, when I almost killed Felix? Like I couldn't comprehend what I had done? _

Emma gets off of my brother, but she is still on her knees, looking down at him with shock and confusion. The second dark haired woman looks over at her with concern.

"Emma, are you alright?" she asks.

_The dark haired woman...yes I remember her, too...Snow White. I used to write about her...I used to admire her. She was a fighter, a hero. And now I'm fighting her. _

Emma looks up at Snow White, and back down at Marcus. Marcus looks back up at her, but doesn't get up.

Right, this has gone far enough. This was supposed to be a small skirmish, to make sure they followed Pan's instructions about not using magic on the map. Instead, Marcus almost lost his life.

I glance at Pan, silently telling him that it's time to end this. He gives me a small, almost imperceptible nod, then sticks two fingers in his mouth, whistling loudly.

Any boys who are still fighting come back to where Pan and I are standing. Felix runs over to us, but I'm only making sure that Marcus can get up and run over to us without being harmed. He makes it, and joins me to stand behind Pan. It's all I can do not to check him over, and make sure he's okay, but that would ruin the image of strength that Pan wants. I glance behind, and I see that all the others are here.

_They all made it. They're safe. This is over. _

"Remember what I told you," Pan says to Emma, drawing my attention back to the group. He steps forward, looking directly down at Emma, as she kneels on the ground. "That map will show you where Henry is, only when you stop denying who you really are."

Emma stands, and gives Pan an indignant look. I don't blame her.

_Pan, you bastard, you said the map would only show when someone admits that they feel lost. _Instead, he told them that it would only show when she stops denying who she really is. He made it a ploy against Emma, turning her into another toy for him to play with.

_Just as I was. Just as Henry is. _

Pan, unable to resist a final jab, adds "I'll make sure to send Henry your regards."

_Gods, I hate how he does that. How he uses who we love against us, to push us into his games. Just like he used Abby against me, and Bae, and even tried to use the Lost Boys against me. He is doing the same with Emma, through Henry. It makes me sick. _

How does this happen? How is it that one minute I'm ready to hurt this woman to save Marcus, and a minute later I feel sorry for her, because I know what it's like to be a victim of Pan's games? I'm supposed to be her enemy, not feeling sorry for her.

_Then again, I'm supposed to be ready to kill Henry, but each time I look at him, I see Bae, or Abby, or even myself when I first came here. _

Pan turns, and taking it as a signal, we all turn and run, some of the boys whooping as they go. Felix keeps pace with him, and I see him reaching out a hand to help me run.

_No, he can't do that. Not here. Not right now, when Pan is setting up the illusion. _

I shoot him a look, and he immediately drops his hand, just keeping himself beside me.

Instead, we all just run away from the camp, and back to our true one. Back home.

Back to the boy who the others are trying to rescue. The boy we're going to kill.

_What just happened? We went there to show them what happens when you don't listen to Pan. And we won. By all means I should be cheering, and shouting, and happy with the others. But I don't. It feels wrong. _

I just fought the people I used to dream about. People I once helped.

When I helped them, I was happy. I was glad that the little baby got away. I was glad that at least they had the hope of survival. And now, after all these years, I'm fighting them, and they don't even know me. They probably don't even remember me.

And the Savior...Emma...I don't know why I feel bad for her, but I do. Maybe it's because I know what it's like to lose someone you love, and to do whatever it takes to get them back. Or maybe because I know what it's like to be Pan's pawn, and to have him get inside you, and manipulate you.

_Or maybe it's because I do care about Henry. I really do. I wish we didn't have to kill him. I truly don't. But what other choice do we have? If I don't, they all die. _

And some of them almost did.

With this realization, I turn to Marcus, as we have slowed down to a walk, now that we're a safe distance from the group.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

He turns to me, and nods.

"Good," I reply.

Then, without stopping to think, I let my anger out, and shove him against a nearby tree trunk.

The others around me all stop and stare, some of them shouting out, "Whoa, Vin!"

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" I shout at Marcus, my face mere inches from him. "DID YOU NOT SEE HER? SHE WAS READY TO KILL YOU!"

Marcus grunts, but looks up at me defiantly.

"She was after you," he points out. "I could tell. She was-"

"I don't _care_!" I exclaim, cutting him off. "She may have been after me, but I would have handled her if she caught up. You know that I can. But instead, you go barreling into her, and put your life on the line. What would have happened if she hadn't changed her mind? What good would you have done, if she killed you? And you two-"

At this, I turn angrily to Bryon and Perrin, who suddenly look unsure whether to run or protest.  
"Running into her like that, when she was after me! You boys don't seem to understand that I can look after myself. You all know that. Hell, you were the ones who taught me to fight! And if she was a better fighter, I would have used my magic, and I still could have defended myself.

"I don't know when you all started to think that you have to protect me, but it ends now. Because, believe it or not, what's happening with Henry, with Emma, and the others, is a lot bigger than just me. I'm the least of your worries. You all trained me to fight well, should something more important than me come to Neverland. And, do you know what? That something came, and you boys were too worried about me. I don't care if it's because I'm a girl, or because I just looked like I was in trouble. Next time, worry about yourselves, and I'll worry about me."

_The worst part is that I thought that they would understand. I thought it would just be Pan, who gave me a mask just in case. Instead it's all of them. All of them, ready to put their lives on the line for me. _

Normally, I would be flattered, but I'm not. Not right now. Because I'm not the one dying. I'm not the one who is weeks away from running out of time. I'm the one who is weeks away from losing everyone she loves.

I can't afford for them to risk their lives for me. I am doing everything it takes to save them, and I'm not losing them because they want to protect me.

"She's right."

I blink, and almost let go of Marcus. I did not expect Pan of all people, to be the one who agreed with me.

But he is. He's beside me, nodding in agreement. The other boys look at him in surprise, as he steps forward.

_What is he doing? If anything, he should be disagreeing with me the most. He is the one who gave me the mask, after all. _

"We've trained Vin to be a fighter," Pan goes on. "To hold her own in battle. And she can. At times, I feel she's a better fighter than most of us. The only reason I gave her the mask was so that Henry's family would not try to use the fact that she's a girl against her or us. If we keep coming to her defense, that will ruin the point of the mask. We've trusted Vin to be able to fight back. We should step back and let her."

For a second, I stare at Pan in surprise.

That was almost...touching. I never realized he really cared that much. Or that he had that much faith in me.

_But if he truly had that much faith in me, why is he forcing me to wear the mask? _

"Boys, look," I say, turning back to them, and finally letting go of Marcus. "I can handle myself out there. The focus must be Henry. Do you understand? Henry, and saving...magic...that has to come first. Not me, not the fights, but Henry."

"We understand, Vin," Perrin mutters. "But that doesn't mean that we are going to listen to it."

_Oh, come on!_

"Don't you get it?" I say, nearly shouting. "You can't focus on protecting me. Believe it or not, I can handle myself. Your focus needs to be on saving magic, saving Neverland, and then you can protect me all you want. But not right now. Not with this. I won't lose any of you because you want to protect me."

The boys are staring at me in shock, but I don't care. I don't care if they don't like it, or if they think it's a load of crap. I couldn't care less. So long as they listen. I won't have any of the die. Not for me.

It's like when Pan was threatening to kill Bae. I knew that if he killed Bae to get to me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. If one of my brothers give up their lives for me, I won't be able to bear it. I won't.

I take a step back, and look at all of their faces. hey are surprised at my outburst, but most of them have a look that tells me that they have heard me say my part, but they still won't listen. They will still fight, and they will still try to defend me if I'm in danger.

_No. No, don't they understand? They can't sacrifice themselves for me. I am going to live forever on this island. I won't spend eternity mourning the brothers I lost because they tried to defend me. _

"I can't lose you boys," I murmur. "I _can't_."

Suddenly, even though it is just us, in the open jungle, it feels very crowded. Like it is just me, surrounded by a hundred people in a crowded room, and it is hard to breathe. Everyone is just too close, and I feel that if I don't leave, I'll suffocate.

It's too much. Henry, the people I dreamed about, the boys risking their lives for me. It's too much.

_Calm down, _I tell myself. _You're just frustrated. It's understandable. You need your space, so go to your tree. Rest. _

I take a deep breath, then turn, walking away. The others don't stop me, but step out of my way. Pan is watching me with concern, as is Felix, but neither say anything. They know better.

I can't be here right now. I need to clear my head. I need to be on my own, and alone for a few minutes.

"I'm going for a walk," I mutter, as an explanation, not slowing my pace.

There is no protest, no acknowledgement, but I can feel their eyes on me as I go.

They need to learn not to watch me. To not look after me whenever we're outside of camp. I can handle myself, and if they keep watching over me, they won't see that they are about to get hurt.

_This has to end before it becomes an issue_, I think. _It has to end, before I have another thing to worry about. I'm already scared to death that Henry won't give his heart up in time, have no idea what I'm doing with Henry, or with anyone._

And, I'm fighting the people I once helped. That I once looked up too. I'm fighting them, and I'm going to help kill the only person they all truly care about. I'm fighting the people I once looked up too, and not because they did anything. But because they will try to come between me and my brothers' survival. I'm fighting them, and it feels like I'm fighting them for the wrong reasons.

_How did this happen? How did I go from a scared girl, who looked up to Snow White and Prince Charming, who wanted nothing to do with Pan, to the Lost Girl I am? _

I climb a tree, and start to use my ziplines across the island. I know I told Henry I'd be back but…I need to wait. I need a break. It's been a long day.

I forget about everything that has happened for a few minutes, and lose myself in the flight across the island. After years of using the ziplines to get around the island, it's become both fun, and meditative. It's calming, yet thrilling to go down them. It helps soothe away my anger, and frustration, and still keep me on my toes.

_It feels good. Which, at the moment, is something that I need to feel more than ever. _

I have felt so much like a monster lately. I've lied to Henry, helped manipulate him, and now I've fought the people I once admired. Where is the good in any of that?

_It saves them,_ I tell myself. _Never forget that. It may seem horrible, but you are saving them. _

Then it hits me.

I nearly let go of my handle, it hits me so fast. Like a blow to the stomach; quick, fast, hard, and leaving me nauseous. As soon as I land on the platform at the end of the zipline, I have to cling to the branches for support. I have felt it strongly, but I have never sensed a darkness this strong, or powerful.

I felt it around Pan, but never this much. It was never this strong, or this twisted. I feel like I'm about to throw up, right here.

_But how is that possible? The only one with this much darkness is Pan...unless...oh gods…_

It's the Dark One.

The realization almost makes me lose my grip on the branches, and my nausea is replaced with something very, very different.

_How did he find me? Does he even know that I'm here, or did he come after me? _

A coincidence. That's all it can be. I came on my ziplines, and he's passing by. If I just stay still, he won't find me. And if he does…

Suddenly, I use one hand to tighten the mask around my face. I don't know what will happen, but if it's a confrontation, then I'm going down fighting, like a true Lost One.

_Be ready. Be ready. If it's a fight, give it to him, if not, use the zip lines, and get the hell out of here. _

_Just stay alert. Stay ready. Stay-_

Out of nowhere, something swoops next to me, a mixture of the darkness I feel, and a wild, chaotic magic that I know all too well.

I risk a glance, and see a shadow right beside me.

It's not Pan's. And it's not the Shadow of Neverland.

It's the outline of a man's shadow, with a long coat. And, with the combination of the darkness I feel, there can only be one person who has this shadow.

_Gods, I knew the Dark One took risks, but he seriously cut out his own shadow? I thought only Pan did that…_

Then it hits me that the Dark One's shadow is _right next to me_, and looking directly at me.

I open my mouth, but this shadow is quicker than anything I have ever seen. In one swift movement, it's behind me, one ice cold arm wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my side, the other clapping a hand over my mouth, forcing the cloth of the mask between my lips, effectively cutting off my scream.

_Oh gods. Oh gods, what do I do? _

I feel it's icy arms around me, and the sense of the darkness is so close, I have to force back the vomit that's threatening to come up.

I try to imagine beams of light, but as soon as I do, the shadow whips its hand away from my mouth, grabs a fistful of my hair, and jerks it hard, cutting off my concentration with a flash of pain. I try to scream again, but its hand flies back over my mouth again.

My heart is pounding against my chest, as my mind races.

_How do I get out of this? I need to use my magic, but it seems to know how to handle me. I need to find someway to...oh gods, what's happening? _

"Are you the silver-heart?" it asks.

It's voice is so strange. Like a two voices, the high, cold voice of The Shadow I know, and of a man's voice blended, and speaking together. It raises the hair on the back of my neck, but I try not to think about it.

_I have no idea what a silver-heart is, but apparently it thinks that I am one. I could lie...try to get out of it…_

"The silver-heart," it repeats. "The Dreamer of Neverland, who's heart is as pure as silver."

A Dreamer? How could it know that? And...silver-heart...my heart glowed silver when I pulled it out all those years ago, but only Pan, Felix, and I knew about that. How does it know? How does it know any of this? What does it want with me?

_Play along. Play along, and see what it wants. You are a Dreamer, and your heart is silver. You are the one it wants, probably. Hopefully. _

Slowly, I nod, but it doesn't have any effect. The shadow doesn't loosen its grip at all.

"Do not be afraid. My master has given me a task," it says. "One that will be impossible for me to complete, unless you live."

_How is that any comfort? How does the Dark One even know about me? Pan made sure that he was going to make sure the Dark One never found out. That was the whole point of the mask…_

Before my thoughts can go any further, the shadow releases my arms, but still holds me tight with its hand over my mouth.

To my horror, it holds up a curved, twisted looking dagger, which gleams in the moonlight. I can make out a name, etched into the silver metal. One word, one name: _Rumplestiltskin_.

"Allow me to make a deal that will be beneficial to the both of us, Lost Girl."

* * *

**A/N: **Um...hehe...hey guys...

I'm really, really sorry about the late update. This chapter was ridiculously hard to write, and these past few weeks have been crazy. I've had to go through exams, and then I just got a new job, and had to work all weekend, which took away a lot of writing time. But, now my schedule is more manageable, so I should be back on track. Thanks so much for your patience; it really means a lot to me.

Anyway, I hope y'all liked the ambush and fight. I don't usually write action scenes to that degree, so I would love feedback on it. Action scenes are the hardest thing, and I really wanted to do this scene justice (it is one of my favorite fights in the entire show).

A special thanks to **Awkward-Rainbow-7, nathaliedew98, Maeburke3, Deathstroke Terminator, EmeraldPrincessRanger, cheri-fleurs, Giggles789, **and **Lady Deebo **for putting this story on alert, and to **nathaliedew98, Maeburke3, Deathstroke Terminator, EmeraldPrincessRanger, cheri-fleurs, BeautyComesFromTheHeart, 1MoreInMe1, Lady Deebo, katerinamak2015, **and **SaveMyPanda246** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you** mercenary2.0, Mokina, sarah0406, FurySaidtoaMouse, slothmccall, GiraffePanda2, ColdHeartAngel, Caeleste, scorpiongirl92, 8839, SilverFury01, Elvira Silver, fireman12468, Fangirl Moustache, Female whovian, Ellimac1716, meguhanu, kksambo, LunaEvanna Longbottom, songwriter16, cheri-fleurs, katerinamak2015, ThePhantomismyLove, **Regalgal1524, Lauren, Neverland Dreamer, SuperFanNumber1, and the many, many guests who left reviews, and made me do a happy dance every time. And, as always, a special thanks to my amazing betas **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy.**

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on what Rumple's shadow is planning, Vin against Regina, and the ambush are especially appreciated! **:) **


	46. Chapter 46

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to the readers who have stuck with Jess, and her adventures for the past year.**

* * *

My heart is pounding so hard, I'm surprised I can't hear it. Adrenaline is coursing through me, but I can't move, so all I can do is shake against the shadow's icy arms as I watch the dagger warily.

_Oh gods...oh gods._

The shadow does not seem to be aware of the spike of terror that shoots through me as it holds up the dagger. I want to scream, to use my magic, to do something, but I'm paralyzed. Whether from the shadow's hold on me, or from my own fear, I don't know.

"If I remove my hand," the shadow says, calmly...no, lightly. As if this were a simple business discussion, not whatever this is. "Do you promise not to scream? Pan doesn't know that I am here, and I would prefer to keep it that way."

_Why? Because Pan would stop it from slitting my throat with that knife?_

But, I don't doubt it's word. Pan may say that the Dark One was not so hard to take down, but his shadow still somehow knows about me, cornered me when I was alone, and has me trapped. He may not be hard, but he's clever. If it has done something to ensure Pan doesn't know I'm in danger, I believe what it has says. I'm on my own.

_What else can I do? Wait? For what, the other Shadow? The one that I sent away all those years ago, after it tried to kill my brothers? No, I can't risk the wait. No matter how I'm going to get out of this, it will be on my own. _

Slowly, trying to keep myself from shaking, I nod. Seconds seem to turn into hours, as the shadow slowly releases it's hand from my mouth, and removes the wad of cloth from the mask that it had forced into my mouth.

Then, with a sudden force, it rips the mask away from my face, and lets it fall to the ground below us. I don't deny that I'm glad to see it gone, but at the same time, I can't help but feel exposed now that it's gone.

But it already knows who I am. It called me Lost Girl. Somehow, it knows who I am, and what I can do.

_Gods, how does it know about me? How does the Dark One know about me at all? _

No, I have to stay focused. If I panic, it will probably decide that I'm not worth the trouble, and kill me.

Somehow, I'm able to force out words, even though it seems like they keep getting stuck in my throat. It's like forcing out leather.

"What do you want with me?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. It already knows that I'm scared, if it can feel me shaking, but all the same…

"You know what I am?" the shadow asks in reply, but it sounds more like it is just trying to make sure, not because it doesn't know.

I could lie. I could stall. But, at this point, I am not in a position to take risks. One wrong move with this thing and I'm dead.

"Yes," I reply, evenly.

"You know who my master is?" it asks.

_Of course I know. I would be a fool not to know. _

"Yes," I reply, making sure to keep emotion out of my voice.

_Thank the gods that I've had to do this so many times with Pan. If I hadn't, I wouldn't even be able to talk. If anything, I've had practice with Pan. _

"Then you know what this is then," the shadow goes on, holding the dagger to the moonlight again.

I think I know...at least, I'm pretty sure.

_Better hurry and figure it out, _I tell myself. _Before it gets bored and decides it wants someone more informed. _

I rack my memory for a dagger that appeared in my dreams that had anything to do with the Dark One.

A dagger, a dagger...something involving the Dark One...wait, I remember. It's a vague memory. Like a memory from when I was very, very young, but it's there. He brought it up to a servant girl...Bella, I think. He had said that the Dagger is what controls him. Anyone who has the dagger controls him, and it is the only thing that can kill him.

"It's his dagger," I reply. "His one weakness."

But what this has to do with me, I still don't know.

"Exactly," it says, sounding satisfied.

With that, it lowers the dagger. I maintain a calm stance, but I can't suppress the surge of relief that goes through me when the dagger is not waved in front of me.

For now, I'm safe. For now, it doesn't intend to hurt me.

_But, if it wasn't trying to threaten me, then why did it need to show me the dagger? What does it even want from me? _

Now that I think about it, it seems like a stupid move. It takes the dagger, the Dark One's only weakness, and waves it in front of me. All I would have to do is take it, and the Dark One is out of the way. He wouldn't be a threat to my brothers any more.

_I still could do it. If I'm quick enough, if it isn't looking, I can take the dagger, and have control of the Dark One. I could command him, keep him from hurting the Lost Boys. Keep him from my brothers. _

No, though. It would expect that. These shadows, they're smart. They know what they are doing. It would know that I would try to take the dagger if I got the chance. It won't let it go that easily. If I do, then it will probably not trust me, and kill me.

_Stay focused. Figure out what's going on, get out of this alive, then try to take the dagger. _

"You haven't answered my question," I point out, my voice somewhat steadier, now that the dagger isn't against my throat. "What do you want with me?"

I expect it to hesitate. To wait, and decide whether I'm truly worth the trouble. It's what I would do, if I was asking a known enemy for help. Instead, it speaks immediately. Whether because it trusts me, or because it knows that I don't expect it, I'm not sure.

"My master gave me a task," the shadow explains. "I was to take the dagger, and hide it in a place that no one, not even the Dark One, could find."

_It's a good plan. A clever one. Keep your one weakness out of all enemy hands, and it can't be used against you, because you don't even know where it is. _

But, at the same time, I don't think the shadow took its orders very well. Or else, I wouldn't be standing here, with the shadow holding me down, while it tries to make some sort of deal with me.

"I searched for such a place," the shadow continues, "but none exist. I searched through realm after realm, but found nothing. I must complete my task, but I must turn to the next best thing. That is where you come in, Lost Girl."

Again, I wonder how it knows who I am. How does it know I exist? The only thing I can think of is that the Dark One knows I was there the night the curse hit. It would explain how he knows I'm a Dreamer. How he knows I'm on Neverland, and who I am, those I still don't know.

_No, I can figure this out later. I'll have to turn to Pan for answers, probably, but I can figure it out later. _

"What do you mean?" I ask, listening carefully, waiting for the shadow to drop its guard.

_To open a window for me to...what is my plan exactly? Try to escape? Get the dagger? Call Pan or the others for help? _

"If you are the Dreamer I've heard about," the shadow replies. "then you can help me. I believe it was you who created an area of space, filled with treasures of your past. Something that can only be accessed by you."

I can hear the question, even if his tone remains steady.

_What is it talking about? An area of space...treasures of my past...wait, no way. I haven't looked at it in years. Honestly, I forgot about it after all these years. How does it know that I have that? Then again, how does it know about me? _

"You don't…" I start, trailing off to be sure. "you don't mean my _mindbox_, do you?"

"Is that what you call it?" the shadow asks lightly, as if the question is of little concern to it. "Clever name. But, even more so, an extraordinary piece of magic. The creation of pure space. Not even my master could accomplish that, with all his powers. I doubt Pan could do it either. The demon boy made a wise decision, taking you for his own."

I feel like I should be mad at what it's saying, but the words and tone is almost...appreciative. As if it is complimenting me, in it's own, weird way.

"Thank you...I think," I reply, slowly, trying not to let my confusion show.

I need to appear equal. Like we are on the same page. Not as someone who is still confused and scared out of their wits at this.

"But what does my mindbox have to do with any of this?" I ask, reminding myself to focus.  
_Wait a second…_

I look from the shadow, to the dagger, then back at the shadow.

The next best thing. A place to hide it, where only one person can access it. Such as an empty area of space, that only I can reach. A place that no one but me would be able to open, and only of my own choosing.

_No, it wouldn't be that stupid. It wouldn't dare trust me of all people with something like this. It wouldn't-_

Before I can stop myself, I burst out laughing. The shadow seems to be taken aback, because it's grip slackens ever so slightly, and I can practically see it's confusion, even though it has no face.

"Are you crazy?" I ask, turning serious. "You want me to hide that thing, the one weakness of someone who wants to kill me and my brothers, in a place that only I can access? I'm sorry, but that is the worst plan I have ever heard. And, trust me, I have heard some pretty terrible ones."

_Hell, I'm part of one. As much as I hate to admit it, it is a terrible plan, but it is our only option. This, however?_

The shadow does not seem to find the situation as humorous as I do. That doesn't surprise me. In my experience, shadows rarely like it when their plans' flaws are pointed out. Or when people don't go along with them. Because, gods forbid, people want to actually follow their own idea.

"The plan is fair," the shadow insists. "You hide the dagger, and you will be the only one who can ever reach it. You hide it in your...mindbox…and no one will ever be able to take it from you, unless you pull it out."

"Which I will do quite often," I reply. "Seeing as I would be able to control the creature that wants to kill my brothers."

I can't help but wonder if this was the shadow's own plan, or the Dark One's. If it is the Dark One's, I'm starting to see why Pan goes on how the Dark One isn't so tough.

"No," the shadow replies, quickly. "That is where the plan becomes mutually beneficial. So long as you have the dagger in your possession, the Dark One cannot harm you, or the people you want left unharmed. He won't understand why, but he will. He could not touch your brothers, even if he wanted to."

I suppose that does work. It keeps me and the others safe, and thus takes away any real threat the Dark One poses. Pan might even let me lose the mask.

_On the other hand, the Dark One could still interfere with us. Try and take Henry. But with the dagger in my possession, that wouldn't be a problem. I could just order him to stay away. _

"So long as you don't give a direct order, the Dark One won't even know you have the dagger," the shadow goes on, as if it can tell what I'm thinking. "But, no matter what, you and the other Lost Ones would be safe from him."

That's all well and good. And, in a way, it is tempting. The thing is offering me complete control of a known enemy. If I can remove that threat so easily…

_Except, it's right. I am a Lost Girl. And that means that Pan is my leader._

"And if I do take it," I say. "What's to stop me from handing it over to Pan? Pan won't be able to reach it while it's in the mindbox, but if I were to take it out and give it to him…"

I let my sentence trail off, letting the shadow figure out the rest. I'm not sure why I brought this up. Maybe to explore the loopholes, maybe because I feel like this is too good to be true. But, I've said it, and there's no taking it back.

"You won't," replies the shadow bluntly.

_Well, that's a great jump. How does it know what I will, and won't do? Which, brings me back to my original question: how does it know about me? _

Or it's just assuming that I won't hand it back to Pan. Which is even worse. It just jumps me, tells me it wants me to hide its dagger, and assumes I will just go with it.

"Oh?" I ask, my tone slightly defiant. "How do you know that?"

"Because you have a pure heart," the shadow replies, simply. "You have spent years with Pan, and your heart is still pure. You know how dark this dagger is. You can feel it now. You won't use it selfishly. But, if you hand it over to Pan, then he will have control of the Dark One. And, unlike you, Pan won't have the self restraint that is needed. Can you imagine Pan with the Dark One at his beck and call?"

It makes that sound so simple. It's right, Pan won't have the self restraint with the dagger. He'll use the Dark One to get rid of Henry's family, then use him in whatever ways he can think about. He'll cause deaths that can be avoided, and will cause even more trouble, like a kid with a new toy.

But, then again, is it about having self restraint, or the strength to do what is necessary. If Pan needed to, he could kill. I almost crossed that line, when I shot the arrow at Felix, and I know it is a line that I can't cross. Not directly.

_Yet, I'm still helping to kill Henry…_

But, I can still hide it. At the very least, I can hold onto it, and use it when I have too. I don't have to hand it over to Pan, unless it is absolutely necessary. But, would I tell Pan? I know him, he would want to know that I have it. Then, he would try to push me into giving it to him. No, that's not a good idea. Not right now, anyway.

Does this mean that I'm going to do it? That I'm going to take up a deal with the Dark One's shadow? The deal seems alright, and it is mutually beneficial. I hide the Dark One's dagger, and no one can find it but me, and in exchange, my brothers and I cannot be harmed by him.

_But, this deal would not be possible without my mindbox, which only I know about. So, how does this shadow know?_

"How did you know about me?" I ask.

The answer to this question may determine everything. It isn't like Pan has bragged about me being a girl. It may have just realized when it grabbed me that I was a girl, but this is bigger than that. It was looking for me. It knew that I was a Dreamer, or "silver-heart." It knew that I made the mindbox. It knew what it was doing when it offered the deal.

"When my search failed," the shadow explains, "I sought help, from another shadow. The shadow that guards Neverland. It was the one who told me of you, of your pure heart, of your abilities, and of your mindbox. It told me that you would be willing to help me, so long as I guaranteed the protection of the other Lost Ones."

_So, the Guardian of Neverland hasn't forgotten about me. It still knows that I'm here, and that I care about my brothers. It also knows about my mindbox. Which means it must have seen me when I made it, or opened it. _

For some reason, a rush of anger fills me at the thought. I opened the mindbox when I was alone. When I wanted privacy, to remember the person I once was. If the Shadow was there when I opened it, it means that it did not give me that privacy that I kept trying to get. It still saw me at my most vulnerable moments, and just watched.

_Even when I didn't know about it, it would not let me live my own life. It still was watching me like a hawk._

"I see," I simply reply, trying to contain my irritation at my former guardian.

The Dark One's shadow seems to sense my irritation, because it goes on.

"The guardian also insisted that if I were to approach you, I was not to harm you. In fact, it said if I did harm you, I wouldn't have to be afraid of Pan getting ahold of the dagger, because it would kill my master itself. It seems to take its duty to protect you very seriously."

_Yeah, seriously is one word for it. Obsessed is another. It did try to kill Pan and thus all my brothers to "protect" me. _

"So, let me get this straight," I say. "You want me to hide the dagger in my mindbox, and in exchange, the Dark One can't harm me or anyone else I care about."

"Yes," the shadow replies. "I trust that your heart is pure enough not to trust Pan with it. Though, I'm not sure why you trust the demon of a boy as it is."

I know I shouldn't take the bait. If I do, the shadow will only try to drive a wedge between Pan and I. But, for some reason, the words make me angry. Pan and I...well, I know that he has kept things from me, but he wants to help the Lost Boys. He wants to save my brothers. He risked his life to save Toodles all those years ago. He still cares about them. He still is trying to save them.

"I trust him because he is trying to help me save my brothers," I snap. "He may have done a lot to me. And believe me, I still get angry about it sometimes. But, he is helping me save my brothers, and that's what matters."

At this, the shadow laughs. As if it can't believe me, or what I just said.

"Do you truly believe that?" it asks. "That he really wants to protect the Lost Ones?"

I know why it is laughing. I couldn't believe it at first. I thought Pan was selfish, and only was trying to save himself. I didn't believe it until he saved Toodles from the Shadow. When he put a Lost Boy before himself. Now, he's willing to kill to save them. And I get why he is doing it. It's for the same reason Felix and I are doing it.

_We don't like the idea of killing Henry, but, as Felix said, it's him or us. _

"Yes," I reply, firmly. "I don't agree his methods at times, but yes."

"You're a fool," the shadow says, bluntly. "Your friend, the other shadow, told me all the things Pan has done to you. How he kidnapped you, played with you, tried to push you over the edge. You agree to help him, and he still lies to you. About the boy. About the people coming for him."

What is that supposed to mean? Yes, Pan lied to me about Henry. I'm still angry about that. But, the second thing…

_Just turn away, _I tell myself. _Don't try to find out. If you do, it will only weaken your resolve. It claims that Pan is playing you, but it is trying to play you itself. Don't listen to it._

But if it's something that I need to know, if Pan really has been lying to me...

"What are you saying?" I ask, cautiously.

"I will tell you after you have taken the dagger," it replies shortly.

I roll my eyes at this, but I glance at the dagger in its hand.

I don't know if I'll get an opportunity like this again. It is the chance to remove any real threat of the Dark One, and if there still is a threat, I can still easily reach the dagger, and fix it.

But if Pan finds out…

_He won't, _I tell myself. _Keep it hidden. And if he does find out, he will only get mad at you for what? Protecting the others? Just let him try. _

_Do it for them. Do it to protect your brothers._

"Alright," I murmur, holding out my hand.

I almost retch when the dagger is placed in my hand. It's like touching pure evil. Not that the dagger itself is evil...it's almost like there is something inside. A darkness inside, practically begging to be released and used. And it's deadly.

It takes all my self control not to drop it right then and there, as I summon my mindbox. It's been so long since I last opened it. I almost forgot what it felt like.

But, it appears. In front of me, a door, that only I can open. And inside, as I open it, I see treasures of my past life. Pictures of Abby, of my old home. Things that I thought were a part of me when I looked at them.

Now, they seem to be someone else's things. Another person's life, from long ago. And, that makes me sad.

_I once was a good person. I once was innocent. I once thought that the worst thing I could do was fire an arrow at Felix. Not anymore. Now I'm killing to save my brothers. I'm helping Pan murder an innocent boy to protect the people I love the most. No matter what Felix says, that does not make me a good person. _

With that thought, I thrust the dagger into the mindbox, and slam the door shut, before making it vanish. I don't like staring at those treasures, remembering the person I used to be. Before I went down this path, and worked to kill an innocent kid.

"Alright," I say. "We have a deal."

For some reason, I don't regret this one. I thought I would as soon as I took the deal, but I don't.

It's because I made the right decision, I realize. I removed the threat of the Dark One, and I have kept my brothers safe. I've protected them. This is right.

The shadow nods, and then, finally lets go of me. As soon as it does, I feel warm, as if just it's touch was enough to lower the temperature. And, I finally breathe. Not deeply, but in relief. Enough that I know I'm safe.

_I'm still breathing. I'm alive. I made it out of this alright._

"Thank you," the shadow replies, shortly.

With that, it turns, and starts to fly away.

_Wait...it said it would explain what it said about Henry's family. It said it would when I took the dagger. _

Then again, it would only try to drive the wedge between Pan and I even further. It's better that I don't know. That I stay focused on the task: I need to stay, help Pan, and save my brothers.

Besides, it's leaving now. And, even though it did not hurt me, I'm still glad to see it go.

"Oh, and one more thing," the shadow calls. "You want to know what Pan is hiding from you? Go see what your friend the fairy is doing these days."

_What? What does that mean? Pan has no reason to be angry at Tinkerbell. She has done nothing to hurt him. _

At least, I don't think she has. She didn't betray Pan, except when she was helping me escape him all those years ago, and he doesn't know about that. And, even if it's been years since I've seen her, I know how she works. She knows not to cross Pan. She doesn't even know that he's dying. She isn't involved in anyway.

But, the shadow wouldn't say something like that, unless it was positive that something was up. I don't know what it is, but there is something that is going on with Tinkerbell. Tink may be in trouble.

_I know I haven't spoken to her in years, but...we were friends, once. She helped me escape Pan when I was weak. If she's in trouble, I have to help her. I owe her that much. _

I don't bother retrieving my mask as I take off towards her treehouse. I don't really see the point anymore. The Dark One can't harm me, so long as I hold onto the dagger. If it's the rest of the group, then it won't matter if they see that I'm a girl. If they are threatening Tink, I'm going to get her out, and go. It won't matter if they know I'm a girl, or not.

_Of course, the shadow did tell me to go so that I could see what Pan has been hiding from me. That isn't exactly promising. _

It doesn't matter if it is trying to separate Pan and I. I won't turn around, and stay ignorant, while Tink gets hurt. If she's in danger, then I need to help her, whether I find out that Pan's keeping yet another secret from me, or not.

As I get closer, I start reaching out with my sixth sense, feeling for whatever is nearby. I don't feel any darkness, so Pan, the Dark One, and the Evil Queen aren't nearby. Yet, at the same time, I can't feel Tink's magic as well. That isn't good. If they are threatening her, then she may already be…

_No, I'm not thinking like that. I won't think like that. I owe Tink, and if she's in trouble, I will help her out. It's the least I can do. _

_Just keep going,_ I tell myself. _You're almost there. You just have to keep going, and get her out. _

I see her house just ahead, and use my ziplines to get as close as I can. I can see a figure entering, through the ladder, holding a lantern. And it isn't Tink.

_So, why would someone try to get into Tink's house? She only comes here to sleep, so they must not know her that well. Or, they're waiting for her to come, so they can get her. _

Silently, I skim the trees that are close to the balcony of her tree house. Another figure is already in the tree house, and he's looking for something.

The prince. I can see him look through the blanket on Tink's hammock, before balling it back up and leaving it.  
_He's looking for something. Something he thinks would be valuable enough to hide. The only thing Tink has would be...ah. He's trying to find her pixie dust. The stuff I gave her, ages, and ages ago. _

And he thinks she would leave it lying around where it can be easily found. Tink may be in Pan's good graces, but she isn't stupid. She knows that one of the favorite rules of the Lost Boys is '_Finders keepers.'_

He continues to look around the house, this time a lot more desperate. He must really want that dust. I don't think I've seen anyone scramble to find something since Slightly thought he lost his white rat.

As he's looking, I see another figure come up the ladder, looking around. This time, I feel the magic. The untapped potential, the light inside. Emma, the Savior.

"It's pretty bare," I hear her say, as she comes up. "Reminds me of some place."

As she comes in, everyone in the treehouse has their back to the balcony, and more importantly, to me. Taking the opportunity, I quietly slip from my perch, only a few feet away, and onto the balcony, crouching in the farthest corner of the balcony, behind the wall. For good measure, I pull up my hood, and check that my knives are up my sleeves.

_I don't think I will get into a fight...at least, I hope not. I don't know how many of them are here, but I don't know if I could take them all at once. At least, I can't sense the Evil Queen, so I don't think she's here. But everyone else…_

"You'd think a tree house would be more cheery," I hear Snow White mutters, and I assume she has climbed up as well.

She clearly hasn't seen some of the places that the Lost Boys sleep. I think back to my tree, and I admit that it's pretty good. But the place where the younger ones sleep...it's more a camp cabin then a home.

"Where I used to live," Emma says. "That's it."

At the angle I'm at, I can see the prince looking through a bowl for the dust.

Right. Now, I have several options. Wait for them to find me, and fight them off. Wait for Tink to get back, and be in danger. Or, I can chase them off now, and get them off her tail before they even find her.

_Tink, you better thank me for this. _

I stand up, and pull my hood over my face even more.

Time to make my presence known.

"You won't find anything here," I say, calmly, stepping into their view.

Their reaction is instantaneous. They all turn to me, and those carrying swords all draw them. Snow White has pulled an arrow out of her quiver, and has it pointed at me in a heartbeat.

_Gosh, it's like they don't trust me or something. _

I glance at the prince, and I realize something is of about him. He's paler since I last saw him. A little bit more worn out than the others. And he seems to be sweating more than the others.

_Oh...when he pushed Snow White out of the way...he must have gotten nicked. The poor guy. We weren't going to hurt her. Not really. Now, he's got himself hurt, and worse, he must have been poisoned with dreamshade. No wonder he looks bad; he's being killed slowly and painfully. _

That's why he is looking for the pixie dust, I realize. He's hoping to heal himself.

"No fairy would keep something valuable where it can easily found, and stolen," I go on, as if I'm unaware, and unconcerned with the weapons they have pointed at me.

Emma looks over at me, and I can see the recognition in her eyes.

_Damn, she knows who I am. She knows I was there in the skirmish. She almost killed Marcus to get to me._

"Did Pan send you?" asks the prince, clearly not trusting me.

I snort.

_Just the opposite. I came, because someone was trying to drive a wedge between Pan and I._

"I came on my own accord, if that's what you mean," I say, deciding it's best not to mention the shadow. I don't know if they know the Dark One is here, or if they trust him. Either way, it's better to keep what happened with his shadow a secret.

"He means, are you a Lost Boy?" Snow White says, her arrow still pointed at me.

_Okay, really? Really? First Henry, now them? How hard is it to wrap their head around the concept? _

Do they just automatically assume that I'm a boy whose voice hasn't changed yet because they can't see my whole face, and because everyone calls us the Lost Boys? It's the Lost _Ones_, not the Lost _Boys_.

"Honestly," I say. "Is it so hard to tell by my voice that I am a Lost _Girl_?"

Again, the reaction is is instantaneous. Emma charges forward, and swings her sword at me. My instincts kick in, and I draw a knife from up my sleeve and block her sword just in time. Using the momentum, I force our blades upward, and draw another knife from up my sleeve.

She wouldn't be expecting it. I could stab her in the side right now. Then, one thrown knife would take out Snow White, and I could flee, or fight off the other two without any problem. So easy. I would think that people like them would think this through, especially after how easily we trapped them last time.

"Where is Henry?" asks Emma, her eyes now lit up with the same crazed look she had when she nearly killed Marcus.

"Safe," I reply.

That, at least, is true. In the camp, he has nothing to worry about. We protect him from things like dreamshade, and the Shadow in camp. But, we are still planning to kill him. Still planning to take his life.

_Not until he is ready. Not until he is willing to give his heart up for us. For now, with that being said, he is safe. _

Someone calls out, "Wait!" but Emma isn't listening.

"If Pan has my son, then he's pretty far from safe," she says, clearly unaware that I could kill her right now if I had too.

"I don't know," I say, the words slipping past my mouth before I can stop them. "You let him slip through your fingers. You let him get kidnapped while your back was turned. Are you sure he was really that safe with you?"

At this, Emma grunts, as she pulls her sword back, and tries to swing at me again. Again, my knives stop her.

"Swan, wait!" someone says again, except this time, they have reached out, and grabbed her shoulder.

Except, it isn't a hand that has touched her shoulder. It's a silver hook.

Emma looks at the man, as my eyes follow the arm the hook is attached to, to the face.

_No...no it can't be. That's impossible. _

Slowly, the man pulls her back, as she lowers her sword. She is staring at him doubtfully, but he doesn't seem to care. He's just staring. At me.

I look at the face of the man in front of me, as he steps forward. And I recognize him.

_Oh gods, I recognize him. _

Black hair, blue eyes, leather clad...it can't be...he got out..._I_ got him out…

He takes another step closer to me, and I can't move. I'm rooted to the spot, staring at him. Unable to move, unable to breathe. Just stare, and take it all in.

_How is he here? How…_

His movements are slow, almost dreamlike, as a hand reaches out, and pulls back my hood, revealing my whole face, and my hair.

Our eyes meet, and I feel my heart skip a beat, as time seems to stop.

"Lass?" he whispers, as if he can't believe it. I can't believe it either.

"Hook?" I breathe.

For a moment, we stand there, just staring at one another.

_I can't believe it but...he's here. He's right in front of me. I thought that...I thought that he was gone forever. That he had returned home, and stayed there…_

_It's impossible. It has to be. There is no way he can return, no way that he can be back._

Then, his hand reaches out again, and this time, it's trembling. But instead of my hood, he reaches out, and touches my face.

And it's real. It's _real_. It's his hand touching my face, his fingers feeling my cheek.

_He's real. He's here. _

The look on his face, as he touches me...I can't describe it. I don't think words can describe his expression anymore than they can describe what I feel here and now.

_Because, he's here. After all these years, he's here._

"You're…" he murmurs. "You're alive?"

I feel my eyes sting, and I realize that tears are pooling in my eyes.

_Damn, why am I crying? _

"Yes," I say, barely nodding. "Yes."

I hear him let out something. A sigh. Whether out of relief, or joy, or...I don't know.

Then, without another word, he pulls me forward, into a tight embrace.

And I don't fight. I don't. Instead, I wrap my arms around him, and I hear myself letting out a choked sob.

_He's here. I can't believe it, but he is. _

"I thought I'd never see you again," he says, and he sounds like he's both laughing and sobbing at the same time.

At the sound, I find myself laughing and crying at the same time as well.

"So did I," I reply, hugging him all the more.

For a moment, we don't say anything. We just stay there, frozen, holding one another, not giving a damn about the rest of the world. Because he's back. The man who was there for me, the man who told me that I wasn't a monster, who gave me shelter. The man who was more of a father to me than my own father. He's back.

Tears are running down my face, and I don't care. I don't care about anything.

"Hook?"

The voice of the prince brings us back to reality, but I'm not sure it matters. Hook and I part, but we don't let go of each other. I'm still staring, taking him in.

He doesn't look any different from when I last saw him. He's still the same. The same pirate, with good form, and his hook for a hand. The same wonderful man, who took care of me when I was alone.

"Do you know this girl?" the prince asks.

At this, Hook laughs. I feel like I could too, if I could think for a moment.

_Know each other? That doesn't describe half of what Hook and I shared. He took me in, he cared for me. He told me several times that I was like a daughter to him. _

"Know her?" he repeats. "Jess was the one who saved me from this place. She was the one who got me out of Neverland. I...I thought I had lost her. Forever."

_Jess. He called me Jess. _

The name feels so strange, after all those years of being called "Vin." And yet, it feels _right._ It feels right to be called Jess. Because it is my name. And it is still who I am.

"I haven't been called that in ages," I murmur.

"I don't doubt it," Hook replies, not taking his eyes off me for a second.

"I thought you said you got out on your ship," Emma comments, looking as if this is the strangest thing she has ever seen.

"I did," Hook replies. "And Jess was the one who opened the portal."

At this, he turns to me, looking stunned.

"When the shadow grabbed you," he says, and for once, his tone isn't happy.

It's broken. Sad. Remorseful.

"When I fell through the portal on the other side, but it still had you...I...lass, I'm so sorry. I should have held on. I should have-"

_No. No, he doesn't get to blame himself. He has done nothing, absolutely nothing, that merits blaming himself for what happened that day. _

"No," I say, cutting him off. "You did your best. You tried to hold on, but fell through anyway. It happens. You tried. That's what matters."

Hook shakes his head, still looking guilty.

"I thought that…" he mutters. "I thought you were dead. Your soul...it was visible when the curse came. It would appear whenever you slept. And, just like that, it vanished.. It was gone. I thought that...that you…"

He's right...I was visible before the curse hit. That's how I was able to talk to the prince. My soul must have stayed visible afterwards. And when Pan put up the barriers to my soul, to keep it from going to the Enchanted Forest…

"No," I reply, shaking my head. "Whenever I fell asleep, it was just nightmares. Pan...he offered to stop them. I let him. He made it so my soul wouldn't travel to the Enchanted Forest. You must have seen it as he was putting up the barriers."

Hook nods, and out of the corner of my eye, I see the prince cocking his head, looking thoughtful.

"You...I recognize you," he says.

At this, I can only smile. Yeah, I'm sure he does. I'm probably one of the last memories he has of home.

"You do?" asks Emma, but now Snow White is seeing it too.

"I do too," she says. "You were there the curse hit. You were like a ghost, but you were there."

I nod, remembering that night all too clearly.

"I'm a Dreamer," I explain. "My soul is somehow connected to the Enchanted Forest. When I fall asleep, my soul goes to the Enchanted Forest. When the curse hit, I somehow became visible. Afterwards, my soul kept going back to where the curse hit until Pan put up barriers."

The two nod in understanding, but Emma still looks confused. And Hook is now frowning.

_Why? Why would he? It's not like that my soul traveling is a bad thing…_

"This is all nice and everything, guys," says Emma. "But we have one problem."

She looks at me, and her eyes roll over me, taking in my clothes.

"She just admitted that she works for Pan," she points out.

_Ah...right...Pan…_

This must have been what the shadow had been talking about. About Hook being here. He was here this entire time, and Pan did not tell me.

But, for some reason, I don't care right now. I don't think I _could_ care. Hook is back. So what if Pan didn't tell me? At least, this way I go to see him on my own terms, when I was alone, and did not have to worry about Pan turning the tables on me.

Hook, however, doesn't seem to see it that way. He is just looking at me, up and down, as Emma just did. As if he's seeing it for the first time. How my clothes look a lot like Lost One's. Because they _are_ a Lost One's.

The look on his face is now not overjoyed, as it once was. It's confused, stunned, and even a little...hurt.

"Lass?" he asks, telling me to explain.

I blink in surprise.

_What was he expecting? Some poor helpless girl on the run, who just happened to stumble into him? Somebody who was stopping, and crying about her problems every few hours? _

I shrug, confused on why he is looking at me like I just failed him.

"I was alone, Hook," I explain. "You were gone. Bae…he was gone. I had nothing left, Hook. I realized if I ran away, I would always be running. And I was tired of running. I needed to stop. The Lost Boys...they needed someone. They needed me. They _wanted_ me. So, I stopped running. I stayed. I became a Lost Girl."

The expressions on the different faces...Snow looks like she pities me. The prince looks furious. Emma, she looks like she understands. Like she realizes what I felt. And Hook? Hook looks so sad, and I can't understand why.

"What?" I ask him, defensively. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Hook sighs, and shakes his head.

"You were so strong, lass," he says, and he sounds as sad as he looks. "So determined to get back to your sister. Even if Pan kept you from leaving, I would have thought that joining the Lost Ones would be the last thing you did."

_Why would he think that? I mean, I understand that it may have been that way when we parted. But things change. Even if time stands still, things still changed here. I couldn't stay running forever. I needed to stop, and I did. _

"What did you expect?" I ask. "That I would spend eternity, rotting in some cave until things got better?"

Hook shrugs.

_He shrugs? Was he honestly expecting that? That I would live out my days with nothing, until someone changed it for me? I might have done that once, ages ago, but that's not what happened. I stood up. I changed things for myself. I made things better, on my own. _

"I was alone, Hook!" I exclaim, anger suddenly pouring through me. "I had _nothing_. I couldn't leave, I couldn't endanger Tink by coming to her for help. I had nothing, except the knowledge that I was on my own. And do you know what happened? The boys offered me a family. They offered me friendship. They had already thought of me as a sister. They wanted me to come. So, I did."

Hook shakes his head, as if he's trying to drown out what I'm saying.

"Lass, you know Pan," he says. "You know how he always pretended the Lost Ones were a family, when it really isn't. How could you stoop so low as to accept his so-called 'family'?"

_So-called family? Is that what it is to him? _

He doesn't know the Lost Boys. He wasn't there when the younger ones were crying. He didn't read to them, or stay with them when they were scared. He didn't laugh, or learn new things from them. He wasn't there when they needed someone, like I was for them, and he didn't know how they would be there if you needed it, like they were for me.

"You don't know them, like I do, Hook," I reply. "They are good. They were alone, and so was I. I needed them, and they needed me. They took care of me."

Hook opens his mouth to reply, but Emma cuts him off.

"If you're saying you know about family," she says. "Then you know that we have to get Henry back. If you really do believe in family, you can show us to Pan's camp. Help us rescue him."

I look at her. I believe she truly loves Henry. What mother wouldn't love their child? Save for mine, who practically abandoned me when Dad left, of course.

But, she is right. I _do_ believe in family. Which is exactly why I can't help her. Henry is a good kid, and I don't want to see him hurt. But I have too. I have to help kill him, because if I don't, my family dies. I hate myself for having to do it, but I have no other choice.

_And if I don't, I'm back to where I was when I got Bae out. Alone._

"I'm sorry," I tell her, being completely honest. "But I can't. I just can't. I want to, I do. But I can't."

Hook lets out a humorless laugh.

"Why?" he asks. "Because Pan ordered you too?"

_Seriously, why is this such a shock to him? Did he expect me to live alone? To wait for him to rescue me? He wasn't coming for me, Bae wasn't coming back. I had to make my own way, so that I wouldn't break. Is it so hard to believe that I would eventually join the boys? _

"No," I reply, shortly. "It's because I have a family of my own. A family that I have to look after."

"I thought your family was your little sister," Hook points out. "Abby."

_No. He did not just go there. He did not try to bring in my baby sister to this, to use against me, because he couldn't handle the fact that I worked out my own problems when I was on my own. _

"And I thought your only goal in life was revenge," I reply icily. "Yet here you are, back in Neverland."

Hook's eyes grow wide, and I can tell the comment was below the belt. But I don't care.

He insulted my family. He doesn't understand. He still thinks I'm the helpless girl he left behind. He doesn't believe that I have grown. That I have gotten stronger. That I found family in the last people I expected.

_I have to go, _I realize. _I have to. If I stay any longer, things will just get worse. I need to leave, before they decide to try and use me to find Henry. _

"I'm sorry," I say, to the group in general. "But there's nothing I can do. I have my own family, my own brothers, that I have to look after."

With that, I climb back onto the balcony, and imagine a zipline from the treehouse, to the closest one I have set up. I grab the handle, and put one leg on the balcony, ready to go in a second. But, I can't leave like this. Not when I know that Hook is back, but we leave saying such hurtful things to one another. Somehow, I have to make this better.

"For what it's worth," I offer. "I am so glad to see you again, Hook. I thought that I had seen you for the last time when you fell through the portal."

With that, I go over the balcony, flying away as fast as I can go. As soon as I land on the platform, I make the zipline vanish, before going on the next one, just to ensure no one follows me. Then, without looking back, I go on, heading back to camp as fast as I can.

_I need to speak with Pan._

* * *

**A/N:** So...hey guys...how are you?

Okay, let's get this over with: I'm so sorry for the late update. Between work, a graduation, and a severe case of writer's block, this chapter was getting nowhere. I seriously had only a couple of pages written. Then, a dear reader, shootingstar1618, reminded me that today was the anniversary of publishing the story. So, I got out my computer, started writing away, and here we are.

That being said, when I say I dedicate this chapter to the readers, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. A lot of times, I will write a story, then drop it out of writer's block, or for a shiny new story, or out sheer boredom. But you guys have inspired me to keep going, to keep writing, and see this story through to the end. I want to thank each and every one of you individually, and send you a hug, because you all are the ones that I write for.

A special thanks to **grapejuice101, Amandla123, ImaginaryFreak00, pithappens, teeblaar, Winterfelttumblr, RedHotChillySteppers2008, Deadly Papegoja, MikaylaRebekahHayleyO'Conel, HaRose, Infatuation with books, sjederman, OneLyricLess, Poisoned Night, Dark-Enough-Conspiracy-Theory, **and **TheseGoldenStars** for putting this story on alert, and to **ImaginaryFreak00, ****MikaylaRebekahHayleyO'Conel,****HaRose, Infatuation with books, sjederman, OneLyricLess, ****Poisoned Night, HopeDreamer16, **and **TheseGoldenStars **for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **sarah0406, mercenary2.0, GiraffePanda2, Female whovian, ColdHeartAngel, Fangirl Moustache, The-Living-Shadow, 8839, Taeniaea, LunaEvanna Longbottom, GhostlyBespook, LyrisaLove, Deathstroke Terminator, Elvira Silver, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, meguhanu, ImaginaryFreak00, Caeleste, Ellimac1716, katerinamak2015, chinaluv, The Wolf Who Writes, **NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, PepperQynn, Tabea, shootingstar1618, and the many guests who left reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my betas **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy. **

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Vin's deal with the shadow, and her reunion with Hook are especially appreciated. Writing the reunion was an experience on it's own; I really hope y'all enjoyed it! **:)**


	47. Chapter 47

I manage to keep a wall between my emotions and thoughts as I make my way back to camp. I don't want to think about what has just happened. I don't want to look back, and think about the scene I just left behind me.

The shock of it helps. It helps numb my feelings until I get back to camp. It helps me not to feel anything, not until I can rationally consider everything that has happened.

_The Dark One's shadow...the dagger in my mindbox...Hook…_

Hook, who took care of me when no one else would. Who often told me I was like a daughter to him. Who could easily have abandoned me, but chose not too. Who now looks down on me for choosing to join the Lost Ones.

Emotions burst through me, and I have to suppress them.

_I can't feel. Not right now. I have to wait. To discuss this. I can't feel. Not yet. _

If only that could stop the pain I feel inside of me. I feel...like I've been punched in the stomach. Like all the air is gone, and I feel nothing but the pain. Like I can't think of anything but that pain.

_Wait to talk to Pan,_ I tell myself. _Talk to him, then deal with the pain. Dealing with it now won't change what just happened. _

I force myself to go on, to use my ziplines to go forward, to use my sixth sense to find Pan. He's not far from camp, just a little outside of it.

_I still can't believe this. Hook is in Neverland, he saw me and...no, I can't think of that. Not right now. Wait to talk to Pan. _

Despite how hard it is, I'm able to hold my emotions back.

I can't afford to get emotional. Not right now. I need to wait, to talk to Pan, and then I can let my emotions go.

_But it feels wrong. Everything that just happened, it feels wrong. But I know I'm right. So why does it hurt so much? _

I purposefully go around camp so that I won't have to face the boys. I don't know if I could, after everything that has happened. Except for Felix, maybe. But Pan...Pan has some explaining to do. I need to talk to him first.

I find him where I sensed him, just outside of camp, alone. He's leaning against a tree, with his eyes closed, but I can tell he's awake as I climb down from my ziplines. I can't tell what he's doing though. He looks peaceful enough, but...I know that peaceful look is just a mask. Really, there is nothing peaceful or easy in Pan. If he's not running around, causing mischief, he's having a bad day. And with Henry around, he can't afford to have a bad day.

_So, what is he doing? _

"Do you want something, Vin?" he asks, not opening his eyes.

I'm not surprised he noticed. He probably heard me coming, or sensed my magic. He may not be a Dreamer, but he is pretty good at telling when someone with magic is close to him. Or maybe he just heard my ziplines as I came.

For a second, I'm tempted to ask what he is doing, but I decide not to. I have bigger things to worry about and…

_Hook. He's here. He's here, and he sees me as broken._

No, I can't feel. I can't feel. Not now.

"Yeah," I reply, trying to keep my tone nonchalant. "I wanted to talk to you."

Pan opens his eyes, and his face is serious.

I don't know why relief is going through me at that expression. I have been trying to keep my emotions under, but just Pan's expression is enough to make me feel better. That he's going to take me seriously. He's going to listen.

_Unlike Hook...no, I can't think about that. Not right now. _

"If it's about the boys, Vin," he says. "You should know that I've talked to them. They agreed not to do anything like Marcus did, but they aren't happy about it."

I blink, suddenly remembering the shouting match I had with the boys, the reason I left in the first place. After everything that has happened, it just seems small. Unimportant.

_It isn't though. I can't have them dying for me. Not when I'm trying to save them. Not when I'm so close to losing them. _

"Well, they're going to have to deal with it," I reply, with a shrug. "I'm not letting them die for me. Not when there is so much on the line with Henry."

Pan nods, and I can tell he agrees with me.

That is part of why he taught me how to fight, after all. So that if I need to fight my way out of something, I can. He doesn't want to lose the Lost Boys anymore than I do. I know that he doesn't want to lose any of them because they tried to protect me.

"Speaking of Henry," he says. "He was asking about you, when you didn't come back. He seems to like you. He was wondering where you were, even when he shot the arrow."

This catches me off guard completely.

_Henry? Firing the arrow? When was this? _

"I had him fire it while you were away," Pan explains, catching my surprised look, and smirking. "The usual way, of course."

There's no need for him to explain what the usual way is. I remember it clearly. The crossbow almost being forced into the person's hand, while someone-Felix, probably-stands with an apple on his head, while everyone encourages the person with the bow to shoot. I remember standing there, realizing there was no way to win in that situation. Except for killing Felix.

_To imagine little Henry, who is just as scared as I was on Neverland, but younger, more innocent, in that position...are we doing the right thing with this kid?_

"And?" I ask, wanting to know what happened.

Part of it is concern. The other part is….curiosity. There have been moments when I have seen myself in Henry. Times when I question what we're doing, because I remember what it was like to be on Neverland, and afraid. I reacted by almost killing. By toeing a line I thought I could never cross.

_And here I am now, planning to cross it with someone innocent. With a kid. _

"He fired," Pan answers. "At me. He's got guts, I'll give him that."

I blink, not expecting that one.

Henry has always struck me as good. Pure. Innocent. To fire at Pan...he's braver than I thought. Or, he's fears this place more than he's let on. In which case, he is _very_ brave.

_Better than I am,_ I think, bitterly. _I ended up almost killing the boy who would become on of my best friends. _

But, if he's as pure as I thought him to be…I just hope he didn't take it as I did. Locking myself away, believing myself to be a monster. Making myself vulnerable to Pan's music, and only coming out after Hook and Bae rescued me.

_Hook. _

The wall I've built up comes crashing down at the thought. The pain, the surprise, the betrayal, the amazement at the coincidence that the people I saw in my dreams are here, and they remember me.

"Perhaps that's why he's attached himself to you," Pan muses, clearly unaware of what I'm thinking. "Looking back on it, you both are-"

"Pan, I saw Hook," I say, cutting him off before he can distract me again.

Whatever he was expecting me to say, that clearly wasn't it. His expression is one of complete surprise, and his eyes widen as he realizes what I've said.

_Good. He knows what that means. He knows everything that means for him, and for me. He knows it means that I've found out that he's lied to me. Again. That he's been keeping secrets from me. Again. It also means that he doubted me. _

Why else would he try to keep me from seeing Hook? Why he would force me to wear the mask? He wasn't scared that they would realize that I'm a girl; he didn't want Hook to recognize me and go after me. He didn't want me to see Hook, because he thought if I did, I would join my old friend.

"Vin, I-" he starts, but I don't want to hear it.

"How long have you known he was here, Pan?" I ask. "How long did you know? Before or after you forced me to wear the mask?"

Pan avoids my eyes, like he does when I've caught him at something. I don't know why I'm still surprised. Pan lied to me about Henry being a kid, about the mask. Why should I be surprised about this?

"Ever since he arrived," Pan mutters.

I roll my eyes, and sigh. I should have known. He knows when someone enters Neverland, and when someone leaves. He would have realized it as soon as Hook came, and wasn't able to act on it, until he had a reasonable excuse to give me the mask.

The trouble is I know _why_ he did it. I know why he lied to me. I know that he didn't want me to see Hook, and join him. But, more than that, he didn't want me to be divided. To have my loyalties torn between Hook and the boys. Just as he didn't tell me about Henry being a kid, because he knew I would be torn with what we have to do.

"Look, Vin," Pan says, sheepishly. "For what it's worth, I didn't want to hide it from you. But I had too. And for that-"

"It's okay," I reply, cutting him off.

Pan looks up at me, surprise written across his face. I understand. I'm surprised at myself. But it makes sense. Why he didn't tell me, why he kept me hidden from Hook. If the Dark One's shadow hadn't directed me to Tink's, I would still be in the dark.

That was why the shadow told me to go, I realize. It wanted to divide Pan and I even further, because of how he kept Hook a secret.

"Pan, I didn't just see him," I explain. "I _talked _to him. He recognized me."

Pan looks startled, and takes a step towards me.

"Vin, you shouldn't have done that," he says, and I can tell he is frustrated by his tone.

_Oh no. He isn't going to play it like I didn't follow orders. He does not get to be mad about me for that, not when he's kept so many secrets from me. _

"Pan, it wouldn't have mattered," I snap. "I would have seen him, or found him eventually. I would have approached him on my own accord then. But this? We more...stumbled on each other. And, we spoke."

My thoughts go back to the conversation I had with Hook just minutes ago. How I was stunned, then overjoyed to see him again. And how he felt the same about me. And how it all changed, so suddenly.

_Gods, he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that I joined the Lost Ones. He expected me to stay on the run, to spend the rest of eternity without friends or family, just running from Pan._

I couldn't have done that. I would have died before that happened. Maybe by accident, maybe by my own hand, without Bae to stop me. But it would have happened, because I wouldn't be able to stand that kind of life. Always moving, never stopping, alone, empty.

"What happened?" Pan asks, after a small pause.

I let out a breath, trying to keep myself calm.

_I still can't believe it. Hook is here. But he thinks I've fallen. That I broke, because I joined the people that offered me family._

"He...he was upset," I reply, slowly, trying to force the words out. "He thought I was dead, but when he found out I was alive, he was happy. Then he found out that I joined the Lost Ones and he-"

_It was like he didn't recognize me. He was bitter and angry. He tried to jab me with Abby, he tried to tell me that I should have lived out my days alone and on the run. It was like we were talking of two different people. A girl who ran, and a girl who found a family. _

"He didn't _know _me, Pan," I say, and my vision goes misty as I try to force back tears. "He acted like I failed. Like I committed a horrible crime, because I joined. Like he expected me to stay the same. To stay the way I was, and not grow. Become stronger. He acted like I failed him.

He didn't understand. He doesn't know what I've been through, and even so, he still expects me to stay the way I was when we got separated. He still sees me as that girl who ran and cried. Whose only goal in life was to get back home. He doesn't know everything that happened. That I've changed, but for the better. That I've become stronger since he last saw me.

I look back to Pan, who nods but I can tell he is wary. He still isn't sure if I'm angry at him for keeping Hook a secret, or if I'm sad at what Hook said. He doesn't see it. He doesn't see what meeting Hook did to me.

Hook doesn't understand. He thinks of me as the weak girl I once was. Perhaps the Dark One's shadow thought it would drive a wedge between Pan and I by telling me where Hook was. But it did just the opposite.

_Hook still sees me as weak. He refuses to see that I did not break when I joined the Lost Ones, but I became stronger. And, in some strange way, Hook's refusal to see has made me realize why I have to be with the Lost Ones. _

They make me stronger. I chose to love them, and I have become happier, stronger, better since then.

That is why I can't lose them. I can't let them die, because they are my brothers. They are what make me a better person, and not the girl who almost killed herself because there was no point to going on. If I lose them, I go back to being alone. To spending eternity with nothing but memories of what I once had. I can't do that. I won't do that.

_I have to save them. I have to protect them. If I don't, I will become the person Hook wanted me to be. Alone, weak, empty. I'm not doing that. Not when I have the chance to change things. Not when I can protect them, and make sure that they live. No matter the cost. _

Pan sighs, before meeting my eyes, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Vin, I'm sorry," he murmurs.

"It's okay," I reply, surprised that my tone is calm and collected.

Usually when I have a revelation such as this, I feel happy. More than happy, I feel ecstatic. But not this time. I feel so...serious.

_I have just realized why it is so important that I help kill an innocent boy, _I think. _It's not like before. It's a decision that isn't good. But one that has to be made. Like it or not, innocent or not, Henry has to die. It is the only way that I can save them. _

"Yes, you lied to me," I continue, my tone still calm. "You kept yet another secret from me. But this...I'm glad I met Hook on my own terms, Pan. It opened my eyes, and I didn't have to worry if there was something else going on. It made it honest. And it made me realize that this has to work, Pan. That this is our last shot at saving you, and the others. This has to work."

Pan nods, but I can see something beyond agreement in his eyes.

There's a suppressed glee. And something besides glee. Happy, but more of a solemn happiness. It's almost...triumphant.

My stomach turns at this, and for a second, I wonder if this is right. If I'm truly doing the right thing by helping him with this.

_I can't take that chance. I can't turn a blind eye, not when there is too much at stake. So Pan feels like he's gained a victory? Good for him. If he still acts like this after we've saved everyone, I can still leave. I can persuade the boys to leave. _

"It _will_ work, Vin," Pan says, as if in reassurance. "Even if I have to rip Henry's heart out of his chest, we will make this. We will save everyone."

I can't help but suppress a shudder at his words. He had to remind me that we are talking of killing an innocent kid. That what we are doing is still going to end with a body count.

And now Hook's a part of it. He's going to be trying to save Henry, and in doing so, he's fighting to let the Lost Boys die. He's working to end the lives of my brothers, and he doesn't know it. He's going to fight against my brothers, my family. He's going to fight me.

What does that make him? An enemy? Gods, I hope not. Despite his words, I don't want to fight him. He's a good man. He looked after me. I owe him for so much. I loved him like a father. I don't want to be his enemy. Not after everything that happened between us. And I don't want him to get hurt because he goes against Pan. I know what it's like when Pan wants to hurt someone, and I don't want anyone to go through it.

This is why Pan did not tell me. He didn't want me to be divided. To care about Hook and care about the Lost Boys, because he realized that I wouldn't want Hook to get hurt. That I may be in the position where I would have to hurt him, and I would have too. If I'm to do this, if I'm to see this through, I can't be divided between Hook and my brothers. I can't turn a blind eye to Hook.

_Just as I can't turn a blind eye to Henry. I have to face it, this kid is the only way to save the boys. Unless he dies, I lose them all. I need to accept the fact that killing Henry is the only option I have left. _

Yet I could have come to terms with all of this if Pan had just told me in the first place.

"Alright," I say to Pan. "Let's do it. Just...just promise me that this is it. No more secrets, no more lies. I know everything that there is to know."

Pan looks at me, and for a second, I think he does in fact have something to tell me. That there is something he was keeping from me. But then, he just smirks, and shakes his head.

"I swear, Vin, there is nothing else," he replies. "I have told you everything. And, I promise to not keep you in the dark if anything new develops."

_Wow, a promise from Pan. That's hard to come by. But if there is one thing I know about him, he doesn't break his promises. It's the one rule he stands by, just as Hook stands by good form. If he says there is nothing else...then I have no choice but to accept that. _

"Thank you," I say.

Because in giving his promise, he is giving me the best assurance he can. He knows that anything less, and I will doubt him. Not with his promises. He always keeps his promises.

With that, I turn to head back into camp. Pan goes with me, but he doesn't say a word.

I see Henry off to the side, still not joining the others as they start another game. Even after firing the arrow, he still isn't comfortable with the idea of joining them. With being with them.

_This isn't going to work. If he feels too shy to join the boys, how is he supposed to care about them enough to give up his heart for them? _

I guess that's where I come in. The mediator. The one who cares for both sides, and makes it so he cares about them.

I have just admitted I care about Henry, and I'm still killing him. But I have no other choice. I need to save my brothers. I have to save them, no matter the cost.

"Hey," I say, sitting next to Henry on his log, while Pan goes to talk to Felix. "Are you alright?"

Henry looks up at me, and nods, but I can tell he's distracted. I don't blame him. if he's as innocent as I think he is, and fired the arrow at Pan...for all I know, the confusion could be eating him alive. It almost did with me.

"I heard you shot an arrow while I was gone," I say, trying to see how he reacts.

To my surprise, he just nods. That's it. I guess he wasn't as affected by it as I thought. That's good. I wouldn't have been able to get through it if it hadn't been for Hook.

_Who is now working against me…_

But if Henry isn't feeling bad about the arrow, then what's wrong. Obviously something is, but I can't tell what.

"Henry, what is it?" I ask.

Henry looks up, and I can see on his face that he's confused. And, concerned, and afraid. But he doesn't answer.

_I want to help him. I want to make it better. But I'm still planning to kill him…_

"Henry, you can tell me anything," I reassure him, giving him a small smile.

Perhaps that's just all he needs. Just a smile. Just a friendly face to make him better. Someone to give him support. Just as I needed Hook and Bae.

_And now I've lost Hook. _

"Pan talked to me earlier," Henry says, his voice serious. Bae used to do that when he discussed what was on his mind. "He said that I'm supposed to save magic. That you've been waiting for me for long time."

_Damn it Pan, why would you tell the kid that? Already he's scared, and feeling alone. You don't drop a burden on him like this. For all you know, he'll take it the wrong way, and run. _

Out of the corner of my eye, Felix and Pan have finished their conversation, and Felix leaves camp, probably to do whatever Pan told him to do. I don't let any of my annoyance with Pan show. Instead, I just keep a smile on my face. My priority is Henry right now, not Pan.

"That's right," I say, for once being honest with the kid. "Believe it or not, we have been looking for you, Henry. For years, we found nothing. I was so worried. I thought that we had run out of time until Pan told us that Greg and the woman found you."

At this, Henry looks even more confused, but now he looks curious as well. He wants to know more. I can tell. Good. Because, I may be able to actually answer him in all honesty with this. I may be able to tell him the truth. For once.

"But why me?" asks Henry. "Why were you looking for me?"

I shrug, thinking of how for years I didn't even know it was a kid. Heck, I didn't even know it was a kid until a day ago.

"Well, we didn't know it would be you specifically," I reply. "At least, I didn't. But we knew that the Heart of the Truest Believer was what we needed. That the person who had that powerful heart would save everyone."

My thoughts go back to the night that Pan told me everything. When he told me why he took me in the first place. How he hoped to use my heart to buy time until he realized it would try to keep both of us alive.

"To be honest," I admit. "Pan was going to use me for a while."

Henry shoots me a questioning look, and I can't suppress a smile. He looks like Bae when he does that.

"I told you I have magic, Henry," I explain. "That's because of my heart. It...it's hard to explain. I guess you can say Neverland's magic runs through it easily. Pan thought that I could help save everyone. But it doesn't work. It's not the kind we needed."

I try to keep the bitterness out of my voice at the last part.

It's not that I'm upset that my heart doesn't work. It's just that...if my heart had worked, maybe Henry wouldn't be here. Maybe Pan could have found something else. But that doesn't matter now. It doesn't work, and I have to kill Henry.

"But...I don't belong here," Henry insists. "I'm not a Lost Boy. I'm not one of you. I'm not lost. I don't want to be here. You aren't my family...I fired the arrow at Pan."

I know what he's saying. I understand what it's like. To be surrounded by people you hate, and wanting nothing more than to get away from them, because you know that no matter what they say, that you are one of them, you feel that you are nothing alike. I felt that way for years.

"Henry, do you know what I did when I fired the arrow?" I ask.

At this, Henry shakes his head, and I suddenly feel something well up inside me at what I'm about to say. I don't want to say it, but I need too. I have to let Henry die. I can't lose my brothers. And I have to do whatever it takes to get Henry to the point that he will save us.

"I fired at Felix," I explain. "At his heart. Pan barely caught it in time. You should have seen the look on his face."

The way I say it, the way I make a face of over-exaggerated surprise, it is enough. Henry laughs. He actually laughs. The sound is so cute, I find my smile becoming genuine.

_To him, it's funny. My firing the arrow at Felix is something that makes him laugh, because I threw Pan off. It's funny in his eyes. And it makes him feel better._

At this, I feel a small rush. The same I feel when I get the other boys to laugh. When I read to the younger boys. When I lead the boys in Capture-The-Flag.

Even though I really hated myself after firing the arrow, and came so close to breaking, I find myself laughing with Henry about it, because in his eyes, it's funny. And...that joy, that laughter he brings...it makes me want to laugh as well.

_It's one of my worst memories, but somehow in Henry's eyes, it becomes funny. And somehow, he has me laughing. _

And I'm going to kill him. To save my brothers, I have to kill this boy who makes me laugh so much.

It's the only way. The only way to save them. But why did it have to be a kid? Why did it have to be Henry? Why did it have to be a boy that the people I dreamed about, that I trusted, are trying to get back?

And in doing so, they're going to get themselves hurt. The prince is already hurt. What will happen when Hook deliberately goes against Pan? I know he doesn't understand what I went through, that he shouldn't have said the things that he did. But I don't want to see him hurt. I don't want him to suffer, because he came between me and my brothers' lives.

I remember what happened after I fired the arrow. Pan made me dance to the pipes, and I would have been under his power, had Hook and Bae not stood up and gotten me out. They knew they would get hurt if they got caught, but they still took the risk to get me out. What will he do to get Henry out?

_I can't let that happen. I have to make him understand. To make him see that he has to stand down, if he wants to get out of this alive. I know Henry has to die, and I regret that. But I don't want there to be any more bloodshed than there has to be. _

"Hey, Henry," I say, suddenly getting to my feet. "I have to do something. I'll be back, alright?"

Henry looks up at me in surprise, but nods. He doesn't ask what it is, or assumes Pan has something for me to do. He justs takes my word for it. He trusts me.

_That shouldn't hurt me as much as it does. The whole point was to get him to trust me. But it still hurts. Because I know in the end, I will hurt him. I will kill him._

"Vin?" calls Pan, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Where are you going?"

I can't tell him. If he knows, he will stop me. He'll try to convince me that it's not my problem, not my fight. But it is. And I have to fight it.

"Getting some rest," I reply calmly. "I'm heading back to my tree."

At this, Henry perks up, and looks at me curiously.

"You have a treehouse?" he asks.

I smile at him before shrugging.

"More of a hollow tree than a treehouse," I reply. "But, yeah, I sleep in a tree."

"How do you get a hollow tree?" asks Henry.

"Henry, there comes a time when you just stop asking those kind of questions in Neverland," Pan points out cheerfully, before looking back up to me. "Be careful out there, Vin."

I nod, before climbing up a tree, and taking a zipline.

I know what he means by "be careful." He means that I should go to my tree, rest, and come straight back. Pretty much doing the opposite of what I'm planning to do.

Before I go, I hear someone at camp tell Henry "she does that," after he sees me disappear in the trees.

I would laugh if I wasn't so focused on what I have to do. I need to find them again. I need to see Hook again, and help him understand. Not just how I joined the Lost Ones, but that if he goes up against Pan, he will die. No loopholes, no games, just that. He will die.

_And, after everything we've been through, I don't want to see that. Not if I can change things. That's why I'm going to him now. To help him understand what's going on. I have to try to help him. To save him. I owe him that much. _

Tracking the group takes a long time, but once I get a trail, it's easy enough. Normally, I would imagine a trail, but with the Evil Queen in the group, and the others not trusting me, I don't want to run the risk of being caught. I know the Dark One won't hurt me as long as I have the dagger, but the others...Snow and the prince might spare me, and Emma may wait before attacking me. But I don't think I'll get much luck with the Evil Queen.

_Besides, I'm trying to speak to Hook. Not the others. _

When I use my sixth sense though, I don't just sense Emma and the Evil Queen. I sense someone else. Someone who is also extremely powerful, with good magic.

_Oh gods...Tink…_

I don't know if they'll hurt her or not, but I still hurry all the same. If they hurt her, then I can intervene. If they don't, I can listen, and figure out what they want from her.

Hook trusted her enough when he was here. Maybe he still does. Even if he no longer trusts me.

I finally reach their location, just under a rocky cave that Tink sometimes uses. This must have been where she was when they found her treehouse empty.

As I get closer, I see the group standing around Tink. None of their weapons are drawn, and Tink doesn't appear to be in any danger. On the contrary, she seems to just be talking to them.

Doesn't mean that this can't go wrong if she says the wrong thing.

I silently climb down and creep along the top of the cave, trying to figure out what they're saying.

"And what's in it for me?" Tink is asking, sounding stubborn.

_What's in it for doing what? What's going on, Tink? What are they asking you to do?_

"Other than a death sentence from Pan when _you're _gone, with your boy?" Tink continues bluntly.

_A death sentence from Pan...that can only mean one thing. They're asking Tink for help. To help them get to Pan, and get Henry. _

Despite the fact that Tink and I haven't seen each other in years, I still feel a surge of betrayal. I know she doesn't know that the boys are dying, that we need Henry to save them. But still, she's turning on us, and for what? To help people she doesn't know?

"You can come with us," Emma replies.

"That's right," Snow White adds. "Home. That is what you want, isn't it?"

_Home...they're offering to take her with them. _

I don't even have to listen to the rest of the conversation to know how it will end. Tink will help them. I know she will. Despite the facts that she never has tried to escape Neverland, she still fears Pan, and she knows the consequences of betraying him. She still wants to leave as badly as I did when I first came to Neverland. She will join them, because it means getting out.

_She wants to get out, _I tell myself. _She doesn't know the cost of losing Henry. She doesn't know that I'll lose everyone if we don't have Henry's heart. Her choice, even if it is not in our favor, is the right one for her. _

"Come with us to our camp," Snow is saying, bringing me back to reality. "We'll figure it out."

I can hear the group leaving, and I suddenly realize if I'm going to contact Hook, I have to do it now, when their guard is down. But it has to be something that Hook will recognize as a message, one that no one else will. Something small, subtle, but enough for Hook to realize I'm asking to meet him.

_Wait…_

With a small smile, I imagine a butterfly. A small butterfly with silver wings, but specks of blue and purple. Just like the necklace Hook gave me all those years ago. The one I lost when he and I got separated.

The butterfly is harder to create than usual. Live things always are. It's why I stick to inanimate objects, and not animals. If something as small as a butterfly is hard to make, then a larger animal would be near impossible.

I gently cup it in my hands, then blow to get it moving. It responds immediately, fluttering off to the group as they are leaving. None of the group notices as it flies close to them, since they are too focused on Tinkerbell. They don't notice how it brushes Hook, before softly landing on the sleeve of his coat.

Even with his back turned to me, I can see him tense, as he realizes what the butterfly is. For a second, he pauses, then brushes it aside casually. It flies away, and for a moment, I can see Hook's eyes following it. Then, he shakes his head and keeps moving.

_What is that supposed to mean? Is he saying he isn't meeting? Did he not recognize the butterfly, and take it as a coincidence? Or maybe he thinks the butterfly is Pan taunting him. _

He has to figure it out, though. He has to. I need to talk to him, and the only way that happens is if he figures it out. I won't leave him without at least trying to help him. Because if he doesn't, then Pan will...no, I won't think about that.

Then he steps to the side, into the trees.

_Oh, Hook, thank you. _

I get on the move so that I can meet him when he gets far enough away. I hear him make some excuse about needing to take a leak, as I get down from the rocks, and into the trees to meet him.

He's bought me a few minutes, at the most. I'm going to have to make my case, and make it quick, before the others realize that something is up.

Hook is waiting for me, a safe distance from the group. The butterfly is sitting on his hook. The image is so odd, I almost laugh, as I emerge. As soon as I do, the butterfly flies from it's resting place on the hook, and back to me.

"I didn't think you remembered," Hook says, as he watches the butterfly land on my upper arm.

_How could I not? Him giving me the necklace was a symbol of how close we had become. Of everything we felt for each other. It showed what our relationship was. How could I forget something like that? _

"Honestly, my memory isn't _that _bad," I respond, smiling at seeing him again.

Hook returns the smile, but it fades after a second, as he remembers why I have to meet him in secret.

It shouldn't be this way. Him and I having to meet each other. Me having to explain to him my choices. How did it ever come to that?

"What are you doing here, lass?" Hook asks, warily.

Already, he's forgotten that I remembered the necklace after all these years. That I still care, that I still remember what we shared. It shouldn't sting, I should have expected it when I came, but it still does.

_Don't waste your time moping,_ I tell myself. _You have little time, and you need to explain. _

"Hook, I need you to understand-" I start, but Hook looks away, his expression pained.

"Lass, what is there to understand?" he asks, cutting me off. "You joined Pan. How, after everything that demon did to you, could you join forces with him?"

He's right. I once thought it impossible to join Pan. I was his enemy, I hated him, and yet now we're playing Capture-The-Flag together.

_But he doesn't know. He doesn't know that my brothers are dying. He doesn't realize that Pan is trying to save them. That his, and all of their time, is running out. _

"I know it may seem wrong," I reply, keeping my voice calm. "And I understand why you may think that. But, while you were gone, Pan and I realized that we share a cause, and-"

"And what?" Hook asks, again cutting me off. "You became allies? Lass, how could you ally with him, after everything he has done? He kidnapped your sister. He locked you in a cage. How could you join him?"

_Because he cares. Because he wants my brothers to live as much as I do. He cares for them. He may not show it, but he does. He did when he rescued Toodles from the Shadow, putting his life on the line for them._

I almost tell him this, when I remember I only have a few minutes. If I'm going to do this, I have to do it fast.

"Look, it doesn't matter," I say, changing the subject. "You need to understand something. Pan is working towards something big. Something he has been planning before I was even thought of. He is about to put it in action, and he doesn't care who or what stands in his way, because he'll crush it like a bug."

Hook looks more annoyed than wary, and that makes me annoyed.

_Come on, Hook. Think. Think about what that implies for you, and your companions. _

"Hook, you and your friends are going up against Pan," I continue, trying to push the message into his head. "You're trying to rescue Henry, and Pan won't let that happen. He won't hesitate to kill you if you become a threat."

At this, Hook scoffs, and rolls his eyes. He is taking this like it's a joke. Like it's no big deal. But it is. And it hurts like hell that he doesn't see it that way. I know he feared Pan when he was on Neverland the first time, and I don't doubt he still fears him. So why is he not taking this seriously?

"Hook, listen to me," I insist, my voice becoming more and more stressed. "Just because I joined the Lost Ones does not mean I've stopped caring about you. I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die. Hook, you have to stand down now. You have to stand down, and leave, before Pan decides it's not worth keeping you around."

I don't see any other way. If Hook stays and fights, he gets killed. If he survives, and rescues Henry, I lose my brothers. Either way, I lose someone I care about. But if he stands down, if he just let's this happen, then maybe I can have both. He can live, and so can the boys.

But, one look at his expression, and I know that's not happening. He looks somewhere between angry and sad, and I can't tell which one he's closer too.

"Lass, you know I can't do that," he replies.

I should have expected that. I should have known he would have said that. If it was me held captive in Pan's camp, he would have done the same.

_But I don't want to lose him. I don't want him to get hurt, not when I have the chance to save him. Him and his friends. I could save all of them, if they just stand down. _

"Hook, please-" I start, but Hook holds up his hand, stopping me from continuing.

His expression is stony, and suddenly I don't see the man I befriended all those years ago. I see a hard, tired man, who is still fighting because that's all he has left.

"Lass, I'm not going to argue with you," he says. "I don't know what Pan told you, but I'm not going to try convince you otherwise. I'm just asking you to stop."

_To stop? To stop what? Being a Lost Girl? Being a sister to the Lost Ones? To stop being the person I've become? _

"What do you mean?" I ask, suddenly wary of his next words.

Hook suddenly steps forward, and he pulls something from the chain around his neck.

"Lass, I thought you were _dead_," he replies, emphatically. "I thought I lost you. Now, I've found you again, and I find you following the one person I thought you would die fighting before you joined. But that doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. You are alive, and I've found you again. And my feelings haven't changed, even after all this time."

He takes my hand, and presses something into my palm. I look down to see the butterfly pendant in my hand. My eyes go misty, as I look back at him.

_He kept it. After all this time, he still kept it. He never forgot about me. He still remembered me, and some part of him held onto me. Just as some part of him still holds onto me. _

Our eyes meet, and he seems to almost silently plead with me to listen to him. To hear him out. To listen, just as I wanted him to listen.

"I still think of you as the daughter I never had," Hook presses. "And that has never changed. So, please lass, if there is anything in you that still remembers what we had, then please, please, come away from Pan. Leave him. Join us, help us rescue Henry. We'll protect you from Pan, and we'll get you out. We'll get you back home."

I feel as if something inside me closes in. I can't breathe, and I can't win. There is no way to win this. Because I care about him so much right now, and I remember everything we had.

But I can't. I can't betray my brothers. I can't leave them to die. And even if I did, I couldn't leave. I'm still bound to Neverland. But that doesn't matter. Because I won't leave them. I will never abandon them.

"Hook, I _am_ home," I reply in all honesty.

The look on his face is one of pure shock. Because he can't believe it. He doesn't see it. He doesn't see that this is who I am now. That I became stronger since I joined the Lost Ones. He doesn't see that I care about them, and that they care about me.

He thinks by joining them, I fell. But the truth is, I was falling ever since I drank the water. It was only when I realized that I was right in loving the Lost Boys, that I was happy joining the Lost Ones, that I got back up. By joining the Lost Ones, I stopped falling, and I stood up again.

_I was wrong,_ I realize. _I can't make him understand. No matter what I say, he's still not going to trust me. Because I've changed too much. I've become stronger, better, and he can't accept that. _

"I'm sorry," I murmur, and press the pendant back in his hand.

It belongs to someone else. A girl who lost everything, and was trying to get back home. She's not who I am anymore. I am not the girl Hook remembers. Who he loves. It doesn't belong to me anymore.

_But that doesn't mean I can't leave without making some sort of amend. Something. Anything, to make some sort of amend. To show him that I still care. _

I imagine a pouch filled with herbs, and press them into his hand with the pendant, even though he still looks shell shocked.

"Here," I say, as his fingers mechanically close around the pouch. "They're for the prince. The herbs won't cure the poison, but they'll slow it down. Keep it from spreading, buy him some time."

Hook looks down at the herbs, and back up at me. His eyes are...heartbroken.

_I have to try. I have to try to make him understand. Just one more time. I have to try to make this right. _

"Hook, I care about you," I say, and my voice is almost pleading. "But I can't leave them. I won't abandon them. I can't let them die. I love you like a father, but...please, Hook, I can't let them die. I have to save them. I'm sorry."

Hook just stares at me, his feelings written all over his face. I've broken his heart. I've betrayed him by joining Pan. By becoming a Lost Girl. And he is never going to understand, or see it any other way.

_Then...that's the way it has to be. I won't abandon them. I won't let my brothers die. I can't lose them. If Hook decides he has to fight me because of this then so be it. I won't let my family die, because he can't stand who I have become. He has made his decision, and I have made mine. I can't bridge that gap any longer. _

"Good-bye, Hook," I say, stepping away, and going back into the trees.

The look he gives me as I go...I hold it in until I'm well away from him and back into the trees. I go back to my treehouse, because I can't let my brothers see me like this. I've chosen them over Hook, to kill an innocent boy instead of joining him, and it hurts like hell.

_I know why I did it. I don't regret choosing them for a second. But I regret every moment that I have to fight Hook, that he and I have to be enemies, because he can't see that I have to save them. _

As soon as I'm in my tree, I collapse on the bed, and sob my heart out. The waterfall drowns out my cries, as I bury my face into a pillow, and just let it soak up the tears.

Because the man who once told me I was nothing like Pan was wrong. I have chosen to kill an innocent boy to save my brothers. I have become a monster, like Pan. And I've come too far to turn back.

_I have to save my brothers. Even if it means killing Henry._

* * *

**A/N: DON'T SPEAR ME!**...okay, phew!

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really sorry about the late update. This chapter...it was just so tough to write. On top of that, my main beta reader,** Uncommon fairy**, spent a two week trip away from technology, so she couldn't receive and give feedback on this chapter. But, she's back, and this chapter is up. Plus, I am very excited about this next chapter, so hopefully I'll be able to write it and get it out in less than a month this time. Still, thanks y'all for y'all's infinite patience!

A special thanks to **SaveMyPanda246, BlackWolfBlood, I'mAskingAlexandra, Friday1221, GloriousFandoms, livlifembleming, bensovic000, eriindelle, xinssn, DeadlyTimes, lolcentral101, Shinonome Sakuya, Lost in Reality's Mirror, CarlieY0817, **and **ericaano** for putting this story on alert, and to **GloriousFandoms, , BlackWolfBlood, ****livlifembleming, ****eriindelle, xinssn, DeadlyTimes, loserless, ****Shinonome Sakuya, hannahclarke, ericaano, **and **kaylabear1** for favoriting it.

Also, a big thank you to **ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, mercenary2.0, nkoetsch, Fangirl Moustache, Charmedhpgirl, GiraffePanda2, sarah0406, DreamerGirl-96, 8839, ColdHeartAngel, Live4dancing, LyrisaLove, LunaEvanna Longbottom, chinaluv, Giggles789, Tukie4, Female whovian, scorpiongirl92, meguhanu, GloriousFandoms, Friday1221, The Wolf Who Writes, Ellimac1716, katerinamak2015, Emerald Pixie Dust, eriindelle, loserless, kaylabear1, **Lauren, A, NeverlandDreamer, Toph78, and the multiple guests who reviewed. And, of course, a special thanks to my betas **Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms** and **Uncommon fairy. **

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Vin and Hook splitting further are especially appreciated. This chapter was so hard for me to write, because it felt like I was destroying one of my favorite relationships, and I felt like a terrible person afterwards. That seems to be happening a lot. **:)**


	48. Chapter 48

When I return to camp, I feel numb.

The time spent on tears and sleep have done nothing to take away the pain of what happened between Hook and I. I don't know if anything can make it feel better.

_But it opened my eyes. I see that now. Hook and I...we never could work together without me betraying my brothers. I had to pick a side, before I became too divided. I've chosen my side, and now Hook has chosen his. So, I have to follow through. Save my brothers. _

After everything that has happened though...to me it feels like the world, the people I see, should reflect what I feel inside.

So when I step back into camp to see the boys all dancing around the fire, laughing their heads off, I'm a little surprised. They are grinning as they dance around, whooping and cheering as if nothing in the world matters, the happiest I've seen them since the last game of Capture-The-Flag.

For a second, I'm not sure how to react. I've been gone, realizing that Hook and I cannot be friends any longer, and they are...celebrating?

Marcus catches sight of me and gives me a grin.

"Vin, come on," he calls, waving me over. "Join the fun."

Hesitantly, I step forward, and I notice Henry sitting off to the side out of the corner of my eye. He perks up at the sound of my name, and gives me a small smile, which I return. Pan is sitting by the fire, looking up at me when Marcus calls me. His eyes meet mine, and I can tell that he sees what the others don't. That something has changed. Not just for me, but for them as a whole.

He cocks a questioning eyebrow at me, and I give him a small shake of my head.

_Later. I will tell him about Hook and Tink later. I can't tell him in front of Henry, without revealing his family is here. _

I quickly force a smile onto my face, as I look back at Marcus.

"What's going on?" I ask, keeping my voice chirpy, as I walk into camp.

Marcus quickly runs up and takes me by the hand.

"We're celebrating," he replies. "Come on!"

Celebrating? Celebrating...oh, gods, come on Pan! We want this boy to want to save us. To think of us as a family. To make him think that he is one of us. Firing the arrow...that's making him one of us. Throwing him a party? That's isolating him. Putting him above the other boys. And doing it so early on, when he is still warming up to us...that will only make him feel that he is different from us.

I only have time to shoot Pan an exasperated look before Marcus pulls me in the dance. There's no way I can get out of this "celebration" without making it look like something is wrong, so I keep the smile on my face, and let Marcus whirl me around the fire in a frenzy. He holds me tight as he leads me in the dance, and soon the smile isn't forced, as he releases me into Perrin's arms. Perrin spins me around in his strong arms, and it's so exhilarating I can't suppress a laugh.

_Maybe this is what I need. Between all the guilt, Hook, and everything that has happened since Henry arrived, I just need some time to spend with my brothers, laughing and dancing. Having fun._

Perrin beams at my laughing, and doesn't stop. If anything, it seems to encourage him, as he wraps one arm around me in a friendly way, and takes my free hand in another, leading us to circle around the fire. He then releases me, and spins me, and next thing I know someone else has taken me by the hand, and is pulling me further into the dance.

I don't have to even look to know that it's Pan. My sixth sense tells me all I need to know. I look up, and he is grinning, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes. He wants to talk, to know what's going on.

I let out another laugh, this one more forced than before, and I purposefully lean in close, as if nuzzling him.

"Tink's joined them," I hiss quickly, before pulling back as if nothing is wrong.

Pan meets my eyes and nods, his smile still on his face. He doesn't say anything, but plays along with me, as if I hadn't told him anything. He just continues to dance with me like the others, holding me slightly closer to him than my first two dancing partners. I'm not sure if he gesture is protective, or possessive, but either way it feels wrong.

_I'm not sure what Pan and I are anymore. We work together, we share a common goal. Beyond that...we're nothing. _

Acting on a sudden urge, I pull away, out of his grip, and continue to dance on my own. The beat is addicting, and I find myself being carried away on the music, spinning and leaping over the fire. Almost involuntarily, I turn the flames different colors as I dance around it, and making it flare higher and higher as the beat becomes faster and faster.

I'm aware that right now every eye in camp is glued on me. Normally, I might back down, sheepish and embarrassed. But, I didn't back down from Hook. Or from Pan when he would threaten me. Why should I back down now?

I keep on dancing, adrenaline pumping through me as I go, and I can sense the music coming to a climax. Grinning, I leap over the fire, turning it back to it's original colors as I do, spin around once, and send a burst of sparks shooting in the air, like a small firework.

For a second, I bend down, and catch my breath.

_I haven't danced like that since...since...since I heard the pipes. _

I'm suddenly aware that the boys are clapping, and I look up to see them all staring at me, with looks of awe and admiration. Even Henry looks impressed. Pan has an unreadable expression, but there is something in his eyes. Almost as if they are reflecting the fire I danced around seconds ago. And I don't like it. I give a small, sheepish smile, and suddenly feel self-conscience with every eye on me.

_Right. Time to get out of the spotlight. _

I move over to Henry, and sit down beside him, still slightly panting from dancing.

"Hey," I say in greeting, while he still looks at me.

Honestly, if his mouth stays open like that, he's going to catch flies.

"What?" I ask, almost defensively.

"You were good," he replies. "Like, really good."

I shrug, not sure what I can say. I haven't danced that much, except with the pipes. And then….that was an experience I don't want to relive.

"Thanks," I say, smiling at the kid.

"No, really," says Henry. "You looked like you were having fun out there. And you were good, Vin. Really, really good."

_And he's right. I was having fun, for a moment. But I can't go back to that. I can't allow myself to be distracted. I gave up Hook for this. I have to see this through. I have to focus on Henry, on my brothers. Nothing else._

I look over at Pan, and he gives me a pointed look that clearly says "take the opportunity."

Come on, Pan, trust me. I know what I'm doing. I hope.

"You could have some too," I point out. "You could join them. Have a little fun. Relax. Gods know you need it."

At this, Henry turns a little, and looks at the boys, who are still dancing. For a second, I see something in him. A kind of loneliness. Sadness. He wants to go out there, I can see it. Then his eyes fall on Pan, who is sitting by the fire, fingering his pipes. His expression is still unreadable, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was brooding. So that's it. Henry doesn't want to do it, because it will be giving into Pan.

_If anyone can understand that feeling, it's me. _

Henry finally shakes his head, looking down at his hands.

_Well, it was worth a shot. _

"That's alright," I say, as if it doesn't matter. "We'll just have to find something else to do."

Henry looks up at me, this time looking curious.

"Like what?" he asks.

I smile, refusing to decide if it's forced or not. I can't keep being torn between killing and not killing. I have to save my brothers, and that can't happen without Henry dying.

"Well-" I start, but I pause when I see Pan get up from his seat by the fire to walk over to us.

_Oh, come on, Pan, I was doing fine!_

I notice as Pan walks over to us, Henry seems to stiffen, and sit up straighter. He doesn't want Pan to see that he scares him. Or makes him uncomfortable. So, he pretends to be bored. Not like he behaves around me. Because he thinks he can trust me. He's wrong.

"You don't feel like joining in the celebration, Henry?" he asks as he sits down across from us.

I send him a small look, trying to tell him that I've got this, but Pan ignores it.

"Nothing to celebrate," Henry replies, as if he is completely uninterested in joining the other boys.

"Nothing to celebrate?" repeats Pan, sounding genuinely surprised. "Henry, this whole party is to celebrate you."

_Exactly. Which isolates him. Which makes him above the others. Pan, you have had some good ideas, but this one is a bust. _

"Me? Why?" asks Henry, looking confused.

I'm surprised he hasn't figured it out yet. But if the message comes from Pan, it's going to be taken with doubt, because he doesn't trust Pan. Smart boy. He does, however, trust me.

"Because you've come to save magic," I answer, smiling at him. "To save all of us."

Henry looks at me doubtfully, but I keep on smiling, as if nothing is wrong.

"And that is something we have been waiting for for a long time, Henry," I continue. "You're here, and we know that we're saved. After so many years of wondering if we'd find you...well, I don't blame them for celebrating. Just look at them."

_I'm not sure if I'm talking about the Lost Boys or me. _

Henry does turn his head to look out at them, and once again I can see that deep down, he truly wants to join them. To have fun, and enjoy himself.

But, he shakes his head, and turns back to Pan and I.

"I'm not like them," he replies, looking straight at Pan. "Or you."

He's right. He's not like them. He's like me, when I was brought here. Wanting nothing more than to run, to get back to your family. Finding allies, and trusting them, never knowing they may stab you in the back.

"Sure you are," Pan says, as if Henry's point doesn't matter. "You're still a boy."

"And you fired the arrow," I point out. "It's a tradition of the Lost Ones, and you did it. You're really are one of us. One in the family."

Henry gives us a look that says he's not buying it. I wouldn't either. Hell, I didn't buy it. I never did. I simply figured things out on my own.

Pan must see that we are getting nowhere with this, because he switches topics.

"Maybe a song will get you on your feet," he says, holding up his pipes.

_Wait...he's not going to..._

Pan blows in his pipes, and for a split second, I think I can hear the melody. The haunting, beautiful, captivating music that pulls people in, and doesn't let them out until Pan says so. For a split second, my heart stops, recognizing the music from the first time, and I'm afraid that I'll be sucked into it again.

But then it passes, as if nothing has happened.

I glance at Henry, who shakes his head, looking confused.

"Sorry," he says. "I don't hear anything."

Evidently, this is not what Pan was expecting. He blinks, and sits up, and for a moment, he looks surprised. His eyes meet mine, and we silently acknowledge what it means for us.

It seems little Henry knows what he's doing. Because he still believes. He still has hope that things will work out, that he'll make it home. So, for now, he isn't lost. But then he'll doubt. He'll start to wonder. And very slowly, he'll become as lost as I was. Only, then I was afraid of going back to the cage.

"Interesting," Pan murmurs. "See this pipe is enchanted, Henry. It can only be heard by certain children."

At this, Henry sits up and for once shows interest in what Pan has to say.

"Like who?" he asks.

_Yes, Pan. Explain that. Explain how you drive boys to feel lost, so that they can dance to your music. _

Pan opens his mouth to explain, when he glances to the fire. I follow his look, to see Felix marching into camp, an angry look on his face. A look that says something has gone wrong. If that isn't bad enough, he shoves Bryan out of the way as he makes his way into camp.

_Shoving others, angry, something wrong. What happened, Felix? Where did you go that was so important, and what went wrong?_

Pan must see the same thing, because he turns to Henry, and says reassuringly, "you'll find out soon enough, I promise."

Then, he gets to his feet and makes his way to Felix. I stand up too, and for a split second, he and Pan share a look.

"Stay with Henry, Vin," Pan calls, not looking back at me.

_No way! He's keeping me out of this, keeping me in the dark, again! He promised he wouldn't do that, and I'm sure as hell not going to let him keep doing it. _

"You said-" I start, indignantly, but Pan turns to me, and his expression is a mixture of sternness, anger, and something I can't recognize.

"I said 'stay with Henry,' Vin!" he snaps, and the tone of his voice tells me not to try crossing him.

He turns back to Felix, and together the two of them start talking in hushed voices.

_Wait a second...did he just order me? Did he just try to give me a command? Right, when he's done, we're having a long discussion about this. _

I sit back down, letting out a frustrated groan. Henry gives me a questioning look, and I just shake my head, running a hand through my hair.

"Sorry," I mutter. "It just….grates me when he does that."

Henry nods, as if in understanding.

"My grandpa tried to keep me from helping when our town was in trouble, and my mom and grandma were missing," he says. "Even though I could help out a lot. I know the feeling."

His mom and grandma were missing, huh? Sounds like being Snow White and the daughter of a fairy tale couple isn't all apples and tiaras. Then again, I saw Snow White. I should know she has a rough time.

I shoot a look over to Felix and Pan, who are still talking. Felix is now looking directly at Henry and I, and despite the sounds of the music, and the boys cheers as they dance, I can make out the words, "move them somewhere safe." Pan follows his glance, and turns back to Felix, saying something I can't hear.

I look back down at Henry, trying to think what they mean.

"_Move them somewhere safe…." What are they saying? If there is someone after Henry, we look after them, but if someone is going to hurt the boys…_

I don't look up, but I can feel Pan looking back at Henry and I. His eyes seem to linger on me a little longer than they should, and it raises the hairs on the back of my neck. But when I look back at him, he shows no sign of watching me. Instead, he and Felix exchange a few more words, and eventually Felix walks away, looking frustrated.

_So now he's keeping secrets from me again. Secrets that may involve the boys getting hurt. What is it going to take? Haven't I proven over and over again that I'm loyal to this? That I'm going to save my brothers, no matter the cost? _

"Are you alright?" Henry asks.

_No. I'm not. But I can't let that get in the way of this. I need to focus on Henry. That needs to come first._

"Yeah," I reply, with a sigh. "I'm good."

I force a smile, before turning back to him.

"So," I say, changing the topic. "What do you want to do?"

Henry sits up again, and this time he looks more interested than he ever did with Pan.

"Tell me more about Neverland," he says, and once again I catch that innocent gleam in his eyes. The one that always makes me feel guilty when I think about what we're planning to do.

"What do you want to know?" I ask, sitting up straighter myself.

It suddenly occurs to me how easy this is. Talking to Henry, keeping him happy. It's not that different from looking after the younger ones.

_And that scares me to death. I have made my choice, as hard as it may be, but that doesn't change the fact that I find it easy being with the kid I'm planning to kill. _

"Everything," replies Henry.

_All too easy. I hate it, but I know I have no choice. It's him or my brothers. No other option. _

"Well, did I ever tell you about the time a mermaid kissed me?" I ask.

Henry lets out a laugh, but shakes his head.

He thinks of me as a friend. That he can trust me. He's enjoying the story, thinking I'm telling it to him for the fun of it. But that's not it. It rarely is something as simple as that with Pan.

"So there I was, in the water, swimming and minding my own business," I explain.

_That part is a lie. I wasn't swimming for the fun of it. I was running. Trying to escape Pan, again, after...after Hook took me in. _

Funny how that works. He used to give me shelter, to keep me from the boys, but now...now my shelter is with my brothers. Not him. I wonder if that's one of the things that bother him so much. That he isn't my protector now. That I don't need a protector anymore.

_No, I can't think about Hook right now. He has made his choice, and I've made mine. That's that. _

"And along comes this mermaid, streaking past me," I go on, not letting a hint of what I feel show on my face. "Now, you have to understand, my last encounter with a mermaid had been less than friendly. So I didn't trust these fish anymore than you trust a snake. But, it was there and it swam faster than me…"

I go on, continuing the story, while Henry listens with wide eyes. I have to be careful not to let the truth of the circumstances come out. That I was really running from Pan. That he was keeping me from my sister, and trying to break me. That my real allies were with the man I must now fight, because he doesn't understand.

When I finish, Henry asks for another, so I decide to tell him about the last game of Capture-The-Flag. Then when I'm done with that, the time Pan helped me hit the bullseye with my knives. Then the story of how Felix and I had to search the island when Slightly lost his white rats. He listens to each one, the same wide eyed expression on his face, as I tell story after story. He reminds me of someone when he does that, but I just can't think of who. It goes on, for what feels like hours, as the boys still continue to dance, and celebrate.

I still watch Pan and Felix out of the corner of my eye, waiting for them to make a move, or show any sign of what is supposed to come that they needed to "move them somewhere safe." But neither of them do anything. If I didn't know any better, they seem to be acting as if nothing is wrong. But something is, and they're hiding it from me. Again.

_I'm going to find out. When Henry goes to sleep, or when someone else can watch over him, I'm making sure that Pan tells me. Because he's not risking the Lost Boys' safety. There's no point in killing an innocent kid if he's just going to let my brothers die because he was careless. _

They hide it well though. I can't tell that they are acting out of the ordinary, aside from Felix gripping his club just a little tighter, and Pan throwing glances every so often at Henry and I. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but for some reason...it just does. It's like, he's waiting for something. He's waiting for me to do something, and when I do, he'll win something. I'm not sure what he'll win, whether it's just a game or a prize, but something tells me I won't like it when it's over.

As I continue on with another story, one about how Marcus and I wound up stuck up in a net that was a trap for animals, I notice something. Like an itch, in the back of my mind. Something familiar, and yet….wrong. Not unlike when my sixth sense picks up on something dark.

_Speaking of dark...what is that? It's not Pan, at least I don't think it is...it feels wrong, and it feels dark, but it feels...controlled. No, not controlled. Leashed. Like someone else holds control on whatever darkness I'm feeling right now. _

I can sense Pan's darkness, and somehow...this is different. And it's coming closer.

"So, what happened then?" asks Henry, prodding me on.

Right, Henry. I have to focus on Henry.  
"So, Marcus drops the knife, and it slips through the net," I go on. "And I say, 'that's alright, I can make another.' So I do, and I get it into his hands this time. Only just then, Marcus wasn't expecting it, and it slips-"

_Wait, the darkness isn't closer. It's here!_

As soon as I realize this, I feel something sweep through camp, like a strong breeze. Something dark, and twisted. I only felt something this dark once and it...was with the Dark One's shadow.

_Oh, damn!_

Before I even have time to think, the boys around me start to collapse.

Henry falls to the ground beside me, and the fire is extinguished. The others...they fall down so quickly, it's almost as if they dropped...oh no.

Pan looks up, sensing what I do too, but it's too late. They are already gone.

For one, terrifying heartbeat, I panic.

_The Dark One...here...but I have the dagger….the shadow said...how could he be here...how could he hurt...No...no, wait! They can't be gone! _

I leap to my feet, and crouch beside Henry, putting three fingers to his neck. To my relief, I can feel a steady pulse underneath my fingers. Without wasting a second, I move to Mat, who is the nearest one to where Henry and I were sitting, and find he is the same.

_Not dead. Just asleep. They're okay. They're okay. _

_But...if they are asleep like this, that means..._

I look up at Pan, who is the only one not affected by the spell, aside from me. He doesn't look worried at all. In fact, he looks calm. No, more than calm, he's smirking. He's eager.

He meets my eyes, and holds up his hand, telling me to wait before I do anything else.

_I'm not sure if he gets it. I can sense the Dark One. He is right here, right now! _

No...no the shadow said he couldn't harm the boys as long as I hid the dagger. They aren't dead, and they seem to be fine. He didn't harm them.

"We have a guest," Pan announces, as he gets to his feet. Slowly, I do the same, getting up from crouching over Mat.

"No doubt someone who knows how much I like guessing games," Pan continues, as if nothing is wrong. "Who could it be?"

He pauses only for a second, as I see the silhouette of a figure appear at the edge of camp. One that is the same as the shadow I met earlier.

"I guess…" he goes on, and he waves his hands, bringing the fire back to life, bathing the figure in light. "The Dark One."

Finally, I can see him. Leather clad, long, graying hair. Three black lines painted over his face.

And I recognize him. Even though his eyes are no longer wide and bright, or his skin no longer rough and scaly, I will never forget the face of the imp who haunted my dreams as much as Snow White and Prince Charming, nor the feeling of the twisted darkness inside him. It's worse than Pan's ever was.

So this is the Dark One. This is the man who told Snow and the prince to save Emma. The creature who took as many lives as the Evil Queen. Henry's grandfather. And the man I now control. All it would take is opening my mindbox, and I could control him, or kill him. I could end any threat he poses in an instant.

_And if Pan had that power...suddenly I know why the shadow knew I wouldn't give Pan the dagger. _

_And yet, there's something familiar. Something I can't place…_

_Does it matter?_ something in the back of my mind snaps. _He just knocked out your brothers. He could have done more. The only reason his spell didn't affect you and Pan is because Pan has as much dark magic as him, and you hold the dagger. He could have hurt them, or worse!_

Without thinking, I draw my knives, and I take step towards the monster, who is staring at Pan.

"If you've hurt them-" I start, but Pan holds up a hand, cutting me off.

"It's alright, Vin," he says, not taking his eyes off the Dark One. "They're just sleeping."

_I knew that. But that's not the point. _

My thoughts turn, as I hear something in the foliage, coming closer. Not magic, from what I sense, but definitely human. The Dark One isn't alone.

"Come to save Henry, have you, laddie?" asks Pan, ignoring the sounds. He scoffs, as if the idea is ridiculous. "How exciting. The Dark One, ready to sacrifice his life for his family."

He pauses, as if listening for a second.

"Speaking of family…" he adds, and with a flick of his wrists, he lights a torch behind the Dark One.

"You can come on out now, Baelfire."

At the last word, my heart stops.

_Did he just say...no...no way...I must have misheard….that's impossible. _

Time seems to slow down as the Dark One's companion emerges from the jungle, holding a crossbow, pointed directly at Pan's chest. It's a man, perhaps a few years older than Emma, dressed in a blue shirt and jeans. His hair is dark, but short. He has sharp cheekbones, kind of tall. And his eyes...they are the same eyes as...as...it can't be…

"Name's Neal now," he replies to Pan's taunt, his eyes locked on Pan.

_It can't be...he's...he's…_

It feels like the name gets stuck in my throat, and I have to force it out.

"_Bae_?"

For the briefest second, the smallest heartbeat, the man's brown eyes turn from Pan, and lock with mine.

The same eyes I saw all those years ago…

_Something jerks me to the side, into the foliage. _

_I turn, ready to fight, when a hand clamps over my mouth, and another holds me against the tree. _

_I look down to see a young boy, probably no older than fourteen. _

_He wears the same cloak as the rest of the Lost Boys, but I've never seen him before. _

_Then again, I haven't really marked all the faces of Pan's group._

_I'm about to struggle when our eyes meet. I see something in them that I haven't seen in any of the other Lost Boys: fear, sadness, anxiety, and hardness. Much different from the impatient glee I've seen with the other boys. _

_He's not one of them. Maybe I can trust him. _

"Hey, Jess," he says.

The world stops spinning. It's as if time has truly stopped in Neverland.

_Oh gods...it's him...after all these years...it's him. He's here. _

Bae. Baelfire. My best friend, my brother. The one who kept me safe and strong for all those years. The one who saved me when I was looking up from a bottom of a hole I could not get out of.

He's here. He's here!

"Bae…" I whisper. "Oh my gods...Bae…"

The Dark One and Pan both glance at me, before turning back to one another.

_Oh gods...Bae. He's here. The boy who looked after me, my friend. My brother. The boy I cared about so much that I joined Pan. The boy I loved so much, I gave him up to keep him safe. The boy I rescued, even when I had nothing left. _

"New name, but the same old tricks," Pan says, as if nothing has happened. As if I haven't, for the first time in years, seen the person who once meant the world to me. As if my best friend and I are only standing feet apart.

"It's heartwarming to see father and son working together again," Pan goes on. "Especially after you abandoned him, Rumple."

_Wait...father and son...father and son...the Dark One is Henry's grandfather...father and son…_

I look at Henry, then back to Bae, whose arrow is still trained on Pan, then back to Henry.

_Oh gods. The Dark One is Bae's father. And if he's Bae's father, and Henry's grandfather, that means…_

Everything clicks into place.

The similarities I saw in Henry, that I couldn't place. The familiarity I had with him, that I never understood. Grandson of the Dark One, controlled by a dagger. It was all there in front of me, and I never saw it.

"He's your son," I murmur.

At this, all three turn to look at me. The Dark One looks as if he's seeing me for the first time, Bae looks solemn, and Pan...afraid.

It all makes sense. Everything. Henry, with his similarities to Bae. Bae's return to Neverland, and...and the one thing that Felix and Pan wanted to hide from me. That Bae was back in Neverland, to rescue his son.

"He's your son," I whisper again, trying to comprehend it all. "You're back. You're here. After all these years, you're back. For Henry. Because _Henry is your son._"

I look up, ignoring the other two who are staring at me. I just look at my old friend, looking into those eyes that reassured me that everything would be alright when Pan made me drink the water.

He nods, just once. It's all I need. All I need to know.

_Henry is Bae's son._

I look up at Pan, and the last piece of the puzzle falls into place. What Pan was keeping from me, why Henry and I bonded so quickly, what he and Felix were trying to hide from me.

This was never about Hook being on the island. That might have been part of it, but that was never the big secret. No, the biggest secret was that Henry is the son of my best friend.

And I was going to help kill him.

Pan's eyes meet mine, and for the first time since I told him I was not going to give him my heart, I see real fear in his eyes. Because I know the truth.

The shock of seeing Bae suddenly is replaced by pure rage. I see red, and all I can think about is his promise. That he wasn't hiding anything from me, that there were no more secrets.

"You…" I whisper, barely even able to speak, as I start to step forward. "You lying...dirty...evil...filthy piece of garbage!"

Pan's eyes are on me, his focus on me, and mine entirely on him. Perhaps that's why it's such a surprise when Bae fires his arrow directly at Pan's heart.

Despite being caught off guard, Pan still turns around, and catches it in the nick of time. He looks down at it, drops it in disgust, then looks back at me.

He has much bigger worries than some arrows at the moment.

"Vin-" he starts.

_No, he doesn't get that right. He was playing me, yanking me like a dog on a leash, making me believe that I had to kill an innocent kid. Never once mentioning that this innocent kid is the son of one of the people I loved and cared for even longer than I ever did with the Lost Boys. _

"You said that there weren't any more secrets," I say, suddenly finding myself moving closer. "That there was nothing else you had hidden from me. You said that I knew everything I needed to."

Pan suddenly looks very, very scared, and he has every right to be. I'm vaguely aware that he is being engulfed with a shimmering purple glow, but it doesn't matter.

_I could kill him. Right here and now, I could kill him. _

Gods, he was going to have me _murder_ the son of my brother.

"Vin, you knew everything you needed to," Pan protests, slightly struggling against the glow. It holds him still.

_Squid ink,_ I realize. The arrow. _Bae must have coated it in squid ink, knowing he would catch it. Just as I manipulated him into kissing me to get him to touch the squid ink. _

Good. Hold him down.

Neither Bae nor his father have moved, watching the two of us, as I advance on Pan, blood pounding in my ears with every second.

"Really?" I ask. "So I didn't need to know that the boy you wanted me to help you kill was the Bae's son? You told me that I knew everything I needed too."

"I know what I told you, Vin," Pan replies, as I come closer. I'm now almost nose to nose with him.

"If I knew everything I had too, why didn't I know the truth about Henry?" I shoot back. "Because you knew that I would be against it. That I would try to stop you. You knew that no matter what you said, if I knew Henry was his son...Pan, you promised me. You lied to me!"

Pan is shaking his head, suddenly looking desperate.

"No," he protests. "No, I didn't!"

_There he goes, lying to me again. About Hook, about Bae, about Henry, about secrets. Lies, lies, and more lies. _

"If you didn't lie to me, then why didn't you tell me?" I snarl, now in his face. "You knew what would happen. You knew I would protest. Instead, you didn't tell me, because you wanted my cooperation. You wanted my help, so you kept the biggest secret from me. You never told me, and you never planned on telling me. You manipulated me, to get me to help you."

Pan is still shaking his head, but I can see the panic in his eyes. He can't deny it. He can't. All these years we spent, trying to work together, and he was playing me. Keeping certain secrets from me, in order to ensure I would help him.

"No, Vin," he insists, and suddenly he doesn't look like the immortal boy from the stories. He looks like someone who is terrified, like a child witnessing a nightmare. "Vin, you have to understand, I didn't want you hurt-"

_Hurt? Hurt by what? By the fact that I was killing my brother's son? Or maybe by Captain Hook, when he didn't recognize me with the hood and mask? _

Gods...the mask, the lies, all of it makes sense now. He was never going to tell me any of this. He was going to have me convince Henry to hand over his heart, and keep me in camp, where I would never know that the people from my past were here. That they remembered me. I would have been trapped in camp, and would never know it if I hadn't insisted he let me go with him.

_He didn't want me hurt. He wanted to make sure I didn't have any doubts. _

"You're a liar!" I shout.

"No, Vin-" he protests, but I cut him off.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" I scream.

"I did it to protect you!" he shouts back.

_He did it to...what? To protect me? From what? From the knowledge that if I helped him, I would have the blood of Bae's son on my hands? No, he wasn't protecting me. He was protecting himself. Again._

I find myself backing away from him, though I never take my eyes off of him. Earlier, I saw someone who cared about the boys. Who cared about me, even if he had a strange way of showing it. But I was wrong. He never cared about me. He only cared about his pawn, who he could send out to do his bidding. He would have me lie to Henry, never knowing that I was looking at the son of my best friend.

How...just how...could he do this to me? After everything I did to help my brothers, after everything that has happened...I've proven where my loyalties lie so many times. I deserved to know. I had the right to know the truth about Henry. And he kept it from me, because he knew I would be better at my job if I didn't know.

"Jess?"

I turn around to see Bae, standing to the side of camp, with Henry slung over his shoulder. His look is one that I recognize all too well. The one he would get when he was worried about me, but wasn't sure what to do. He had that look when I drank the water. When I saw the curse. And now again, when we realize what else Pan has done to me.

_He still worries about me, _I realize. _He still cares, even after all these years. _

"Jess, I know he's hurt you," Bae says, before glancing at his father. "And I know he's lied to you. I know you're in pain right now. But we have to go."

I blink, before looking at Bae and the father, and back to Pan and the boys lying on the ground.

_Yes, they have to go. They need to go before the Lost Boys wake up and take back Henry. Before the squid ink wears off, and Pan can move again. And hurt the people I love again. _

He gives me the same look he did all those years ago, when he tried to persuade me to come with him after I joined the Lost Ones to protect him.

_He's back. He's grown up, he's an adult, but he's back. Baelfire is back. _

"Come with us," he says, holding out a hand.

I can't hold back a small smile. Somehow, I knew he was going to ask me that. He always would, no matter how many times I would say no.

The Dark One, however, wasn't expecting this. He starts at the question and turns to his son.

"What?" he asks, sounding surprised.

"It's alright, papa," Bae says, without even looking at his father. "We can trust her."

Can he? Can he really? After everything I've done with Henry...I thought I chose my side when Hook and I parted. Now, I'm not so sure.

Surprisingly, the Dark One shared my opinion.

"Trust her?" repeats the Dark One, in disbelief. "She's one of Pan's. You heard her, she was going to help kill Henry."

_Yes. He's right about that. I was. Whether I knew it or not, I was planning to help Pan kill Henry. And even if he wasn't Bae's son, he's still an innocent kid. _

"She saved my life," Bae replies, firmly, as if that settles the matter. "More times than I can count."

_I...I don't think he knows how much that means to me. He remembers. He remembers that I saved him. After all these years, as he's gotten older...he still hasn't forgotten us. What we did. How we looked after each other. _

He still remembers me as I asked him too. Not as a Lost Girl, but as Jess. He kept his promise. He never forgot. And after all these years, even though he sees that I have been working with Pan, he doesn't care. He trusts me without a second thought.

Bae's eyes are still on me. They aren't pleading, and they aren't judgmental. He just wants to know my choice. He won't think of me any differently if I say no.

I look from him, to Pan.

The brother who still looks after me, who still cares about me after all these year, or the monster who would have me kill his son. Had this been hours earlier, when I didn't know the truth, I would have hesitated. I would have wondered if it was the right choice to go. Now, the choice hasn't been clearer. It hasn't been this clear since when I realized I had to save Bae when Pan condemned him to death.

"I'm coming," I say, moving away from Pan, and walking over to Bae. "Let's go."

Bae nods, and I can see that he's suppressing a smile. He's glad that I'm with him. That I've chosen him.

_I would always choose him. I thought all those years we spent together made that clear. _

The Dark One doesn't look happy about it, but he seems to accept that there's no arguing with his son. I'm coming, and nothing is going to change that.

"Come on," he says, leading us into the jungle.

Bae and I start to follow, and I can hear Pan struggling against the squid ink's hold

"Vin!" calls Pan, as Bae and I go further in. "Vin, don't you dare! Don't you dare go with them. Vin!"

I almost scoff at his attempts. He should have known by now that I don't take orders from him. We share a common goal, but he wasn't my leader. And he lied to me. We aren't allies any longer.

"Vin, get back here!" Pan shouts as Bae and I keep walking. "I said get back here!"

For a second, I pause. I almost want to go back, to do something.

Bae catches this, and gently urges me on with his free hand. I send him a grateful look, and keep walking.

"You _owe _me, Vin!"

At this, I stop and whirl around. I know it was something desperate, something Pan was doing to get me to stay. Something that we both knew would not work. But what he said...after everything he's done.

"I owe you?" I repeat. "_I _owe _you?_ You lied to me, Pan. You manipulated me, kept secrets from me, and you didn't care how much it hurt me. What could you have possibly given me that I would owe you. I owe you _nothing,_ Pan."

With that, I turn, and follow the Dark One into the jungle. Bae shoots Pan one last glare, before joining me.

We're at the edge of camp when I hear Pan chuckle. Something about it sends a chill down my spine, but I ignore it. I try to keep walking.

"Well, it seems we've done this dance before, Baelfire," Pan calls as we walk away. "Where you take something of mine, and hold onto it for a little while, until I take it back and keep it safer than you ever could."

The barb is at Bae this time, and I can tell it gets to him. He stops, and turns, his son still over his shoulder. Pan is still frozen, but he is looking directly at Bae. His expression is calm, but his eyes are almost...murderous.

_Something of his...does he mean Henry or me?_

"Safe?" Bae asks. "What could be worse than leaving my son or Jess here with you?"

Pan smirks, and I get the feeling he's been waiting to say this ever since Bae and the Dark One arrived.

"Why don't you ask your father?" he offers, looking over to the man with Bae and I.

Bae frowns, and looks at his father questioningly. His father doesn't look at him, but stares at Pan, his face expressionless.

"Sometimes," Pan says. "The people we should fear the most are the ones closest to us."

He's right. He's just proven that himself.

"What's he talking about?" Bae asks, looking at his father, whose expression hasn't changed at all.

"Don't listen to him," he says calmly, but something about it seems off. Like he's being too calm. Too casual.

Pan is smirking, and I don't like it. He knows something. Something that will hurt Bae.

"You mean you haven't told him?" asks Pan, looking directly at the Dark One.

"Told me what?" Bae snaps, obviously getting more and more annoyed.

Pan doesn't seem to be bothered by it, though. If anything, he seems to enjoy riling Bae up. That hasn't changed at all.

"Why, about the prophecy of course," he says, as if it should be obvious.

"What prophecy?" asks Bae, looking frustrated. "What does he mean?"

He looks at me, but I only shrug. I haven't heard of any prophecy. This is all news to me. He looks to his father, who is still glaring at Pan.

"The prophecy that says you've been tricked," Pan explains, and finally the Dark One's face changes.

His eyes seem to widen in realization, as he realizes what Pan is going to say.

Pan looks from Bae to his father, and I can see the deadly glee in his eyes as he says his next words.

"Your father didn't come here to rescue your son, Baelfire. He's here to murder him."

For a second, Bae and I stare at him, in stunned silence.

_Murder him? Murder his own grandson? _

Pan catches the looks on our faces, and smirk.

"And if he's willing to do that to his own grandson," Pan adds, looking directly at me. "What will he do to a little Lost Girl who gets in his way?"

* * *

**A/N:** Whew! Man, that was a roller coaster!

Sorry if it's a little late, guys. I started writing, then got held up when my brothers, niece and nephews, and cousins visited, and then I had to go to camp for four last week, and I am still exhausted. But, now I've gotten a break and I have had plenty of time to write. Thank you so much for your patience!

And Bae is back! This was a reunion I've been looking forward to for ages. Seriously, as the moment when he appeared was coming, I started getting butterflies. I know he and Vin didn't get as much of a reunion as she got with Hook, but don't worry. Next chapter is going to be filled with those two, so there will be plenty of time for the two to catch up.

A special thanks to **Bassward, Leafpool16985, Amelia Mae Scott, Gee Brittany, Katy Rose, Pooh-Bear-Hugs, Don'tTouchMeMortal, waterpixie131, WeAreTheHearts, AubriannaRose, **and **ReginaQueenofHogwarts** for putting this story on alert, and to** Leafpool16985, Rosie118, Cleo9427, Gee Brittany, PeterPanIsMyBoo, Don'tTouchMeMortal, WeAreTheHearts**, and **ReginaQueenofHogwarts** for favoriting it.

Also thank you **GiraffePanda2, sarah0406, mercenary2.0, 8839, ColdHeartAngel, Revengest, Fangirl Moustache, The Wolf Who Writes, Tukie4, LunaEvanna Longbottom, songwriter16, Cleo9427, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, chinaluv, meguhanu, Female whovian, LyrisaLove, Gee Brittany, Scarletknight17, PeterPanIsMyBoo, Ellimac1716, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, **Silverfury01, Elli, NeverlandDreamer, Toph78, shootingstar1618, SuperFanNumber1, and the many guests, who left so many wonderful reviews. Also, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy, **my amazing beta, who helps me catch all my plot holes!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! The argument between Vin and Pan was something I worked really, really, really hard on, so thoughts on that are very appreciated, as well on thoughts on Vin and Bae's reunion. As I said before, this entire chapter was a roller coaster for me, with so many ups and downs! **:)**


	49. Chapter 49

I blink rapidly, trying to get the feeling of smoke out of my eyes. I remember seeing the Dark One make people disappear in a cloud of red smoke, but I've never had it done to me. It wasn't anything hard, aside from a strange pull in my stomach.

When my eyes stop watering, I look around. We're at some sort of campsite, most likely the Dark One's. Bae is laying Henry down on a cot by a fire, while the Dark One is looking around, no doubt surveying the area. I can still sense the darkness inside him, but it's less intense, especially now that he's not near Pan. The combination of the two...I didn't realize how terrible it felt until we were away from Pan.

_Pan...the lying bastard. Even though we're well away from him, I still feel like I'm boiling inside from what I found out. _

He was about to have me befriend and kill the son of my best friend. I'm still not sure if he liked to me because he knew I would be against it if I knew, or because it was giving him some sort of sick pleasure, seeing me build Henry's trust, knowing I was betraying Bae's son. Now that I think about it, with the way Pan would watch us, the way his looks were like a predator, the more I think he enjoyed watching me be with Henry, knowing I would kill him.

_It doesn't matter,_ I tell myself. _He's frozen, and you're well away from him. For now, focus on keeping that last part true. _

Speaking of being away from him...I recognize this place.

"Other side of the island?" I ask, turning to the Dark One.

He looks at me in surprise, but nods.

"Good choice," I comment, before feeling out for Pan's shadow. I can't sense it, so I guess that means Pan hasn't sent it out yet. Or, maybe he has, and it hasn't found us yet.

But, the other side of the island is a good choice. We're well away from Pan, and anyone else who wants to track us. If they were there when we were at Pan's camp, they would have to trek all the way across the island to reach us. Even Pan's shadow would take time trying to find us.

_It also makes it easier for the Dark One to trap Henry if he wants...no, that won't happen. If I have to pull out the dagger to stop it, I won't let that happen. _

That was the one thing of Pan's threat that I did not care about. The Dark One may try to hurt Henry, or me, but that doesn't matter. I have his dagger. He wouldn't be able to harm me, even if he wanted too. Henry on the other hand...well, I just have to hope I don't have to pull out the dagger at all.

Funny...less than ten minutes ago, I was feeling guilt about killing him, and now I'm talking about defending him against the bloody Dark One. All because he was Bae's son.

_Bae…_

I look over to Bae, who is now standing after laying Henry down.

He meets my eyes, and I feel a churning inside.

_He's here. Baelfire. He's here, and he remembers me. He...he never forgot. _

"So," I say, trying to keep my voice casual. "You're back."

I don't know if he realizes how much that means to me. I thought when he was gone, that it was the last time I would see him. Forever. But he's back. He's grown up, and he looks different, yet I can still see the traces of the boy I spent years living with in a cave.

"Yeah," he replies, softly, and I can tell he's trying to keep his voice casual. "Yeah, I am."

I nod, as if this is perfectly normal, looking away.

_So much time...for me it's been longer, for him it's been ages too. He's still the same boy. And he remembers me. He kept his promise. _

I look up at him again, and meet his eyes. Then, as if by silent agreement, we reach out and wrap one another in a hug.

Neither of say a word, because we don't have too. Just this one movement tells the other all we need to know. That we've missed each other, that we thought the other was lost forever, that no matter how bad it seems right now, none of that matters, because we've seen each other after all these years, and we're never letting go of that.

_He's back...he's...Bae. My friend...my brother...my savior. The one who kept me going, the one who kept me sane for all those years. The one who gave me a reason not to break. The one who stretched out a hand when I had sunk to my lowest point. He's here. _

"I thought that…" I whisper. "That you were…"

"I know," Bae murmurs in response. "I know. But it's okay. I'm back. I'm back, and I'm not leaving you."

Not leaving me. After all that time we spent together, that seemed to be our only agreement. No matter what happens, don't leave each other. And we didn't. Not really. Not until I had to save him.

Because we were more than two people, trying to survive in a cave together. We were each other's rocks. We were the ones who were always there for each other, no matter how hard it was. We kept each other going, we were what the other needed us to be. A shoulder to cry on, support when things were rough, the one who was funny when the other needed to laugh.

I'm not sure how long we hold each other. It could be a few short seconds, or maybe long minutes. Maybe even an hour. But when we part, we do it at the same time. Because neither of us wants to be the first to let go.

Even when we do part, though, I still hold him by the sleeves, and I look him up and down. He's gotten taller since I last saw him. His hair is shorter, and he isn't as thin as he was when I got him out. If anything, he seems to have gotten stronger, healthier since I last saw him.

That's good. It means he was able to make it out there. Somehow, he made his way, and took care of himself. He's done well.

"You grew a moustache," I say fondly, a small smile making it's way on my face, as I reach out to touch it.

No sooner do my fingers touch his face, than a shock suddenly hits my fingertips. Both Bae and I pull away at the same time, with identical cries of pain. The Dark One, who has been looking at us silently, but with a questioning look on his face, suddenly becomes more alert, and looks at his son with concern.

_That's right...oh, gods, Pan placed a spell on us. We can't touch each other. Not without hurting ourselves. _

"I forgot about that," Bae mutters, rubbing the place I touched gingerly.

I did too. It was Pan's many ways of separating us. And it is the only thing we weren't able to solve. I stayed with Pan, but I still would sneak out to see Bae. I thought we were separated forever when he got out, but here he is. But still, we can't touch each other without pain. Pan's way of keeping us apart, after everything that has happened, still stands.

"I hate him," I whisper vehemently. "I _hate _him."

The Dark One looks between us, and I can tell he's figured it out. that there is something Pan put on us, so that we can't touch.

"How long has that spell been on you two?" he asks.

Bae and I share a look, before Bae shrugs.

"Ages," he replies, not knowing the answer himself. "We kind of lost track of time here. It's easier than you would think. Before I got out, though. One of Pan's little games."

_Little games? That's one word for it. It really was something more than that. It was him trying to isolate Bae and I, so that I would fall, and break. _

Bae, however, looks sharply up at his father, as if something has suddenly occurred to him.

"Speaking of Pan," he starts. "What the hell was he talking about?"

The Dark One quickly looks away to tend to the fire, even though it's still burning well.

"Don't mind him," he says casually. Too casually.

Normally, I would agree that ignoring Pan's words would be the smartest option, if the Dark One wasn't so keen on avoiding the question.

"He said that you were going to murder Henry," snaps Bae, seeing the same thing I did.

The Dark One turns to Bae, his arms spread.

"He plays games," he says, as if that explains everything. "Mind games. The important thing is we got the boy, we got your friend, and we got away."

I doubt getting me was ever an important part. The Dark One seemed pretty surprised when Bae asked me to come with them.

Still, the Dark One is right. Pan does play games, usually mind games. I should know, I spent years dodging those games. But because of that, I know how he plays them. He doesn't make you distrust others, he makes you distrust yourself. What he said about the Dark One abandoning Bae, that was a mind game. This...this doesn't feel like that. It's too blunt. The Dark One is avoiding the question too much. Pan might be lying, but there is something the Dark One isn't telling his son.

"Who is your friend, anyway?" asks the Dark One, gesturing to me.

Bae looks over to me, and gives a small smile.

"This is Jess," he replies, looking from me to his father. "She and I...well…"

I can tell he's trying to find some other way to say 'lived together' without making it seem like we were lovers.

"Your son found me when I first came to Neverland," I explain. "He and I took care of each other until he got out of Neverland."

The Dark One looks me over, and I can tell what he's thinking. A girl dressed as a Lost One, who was at Pan's camp, even defended the boys when they went down. Not exactly the actions of someone who supposedly took care of his son while he was trying to escape Pan.

"And you trust her?" he asks, looking at Bae. "She was with the Lost Ones. Pan didn't even call the girl 'Jess.'"

_Oh, he had to bring that up, didn't he? What, does he think I'm some sort of imposter? Or maybe Jess had an evil twin who works for Pan…_

"The girl is right here, you know," I point out, trying to keep my voice calm. "And I think the fact that Pan just lied to me, as you saw, should tell you which side I'm on."

"No offense," the Dark One replies, "but the last person my son trusted ended up not only working for Pan, but also taking my grandson to Pan in the first place, and still ended up a pawn in Pan's plan. You were lied to as well. What does that make you?"

_Whoa, wait a second. He did not just compare me to the two people that brought Henry to Neverland. Not Greg and Tamara. Sure, Pan might have lied to me, but those two were complete idiots. _

I open my mouth, ready to retort, but Bae beats me too it.

"It makes her the one who got me off of Neverland," he says bluntly. "Who helped me escape when Pan was planning to kill me. So, call me crazy, but I trust Jess more than anyone else here on this island."

I don't know what my expression is, but I assume it is the same stunned one as the Dark One's.

_He...wow...I'm touched. He saw me in Pan's camp. He heard that I was planning to kill Henry. Yet out of everyone in this entire island, he trusts me the most. More than Emma, Henry's mother, more than his own father. He trusts me. _

Which is perhaps why his father looks so hurt. Hearing from his son that he trusts a Lost One over his own father can't be easy. However, my sympathy is limited. He wasn't there when Bae was in the cave, needing help. I was. He didn't hear Bae's shouts when he had nightmares of being abandoned. I did. I know how much Bae was hurt by his father abandoning him. I know how much I still hurt from my own father abandoning me. And now he may be planning on killing his own grandson. I can see why Bae would not trust his father.

Bae gives his father a look that says the conversation is over, before turning and crouching down beside his son.

"Hey, Henry," he says, gently shaking him. "Hey, it's your dad…"

"No, no, no, no, he can't hear you," the Dark One says, cutting off Bae's attempts to wake him up.

Bae looks up, and any gentleness he had with his son is gone.

"Then wake him up," he says flatly.

"Pulling him out of the spell could be dangerous," the Dark One replies. "He'll wake naturally in a few hours. He'll be fine."

A few hours. A few hours until the boys wake up and...and realize that I've gone. Oh, damn, this is not going to look good. I just left them while they slept, to go with Baelfire, the boy they hate, because I didn't want to hurt his son.

I can see Pan spinning it now. 'Vin betrayed us. She never cared. She abandoned you for Baelfire, as she has done again and again. It is time to make her pay.'

_But then again, isn't that what happened? I left them, yes, but I wasn't trying to leave the boys. I just...I had to get away from Pan. I couldn't be near him, not after learning what he had done to me. But the boys...they need Henry's heart to survive...I can't just leave them to die. _

No, I will figure this out later. For now, I have to focus on keeping Bae and Henry safe. Whether from Pan or the Dark One, I don't know. I just have to keep them safe.

"Well, why did you put a spell on him in the first place?" Bae asks. "You were able to avoid Jess and Pan-"

"Pan's magic is too powerful," the Dark One replies. "It shielded him. As for your friend...well, I can only assume Pan has some sort of protection on her, so that she wouldn't be affected."

_What does he...oh…_

He doesn't know I have the dagger. So, he can't hurt me, even involuntarily. His magic avoided me by nature, and he doesn't understand why.

_Don't tell him just yet, _I think to myself. _Not yet. You don't know how he'll react, just as you don't know how Pan's going to react. _

Bae, however, seems to accept it, and moves on, standing up.

"Alright," he says. "then you can explain to me what the hell Pan meant. This prophecy he's talking about. Why would he say you were going to kill Henry?"

The Dark One looks away, and I can tell he's avoiding the question again.

_Oh boy, this is not going to end well. _

"I don't know," the Dark One says. "To create a wedge between us?"

Not bad, except there are so many other ways he could do that, and you would probably just laugh it off. Like with his threat that the Dark One can kill me. Something to make me fear the Dark One, when it just confirms he doesn't know the truth about the dagger.

"That's not a denial," I point out, and the Dark One shoots me a look telling me to shut my mouth.

Deal with it. I might have been in Pan's camp, but I'm still going to protect the kid.

Almost instinctively, I sit down beside Henry, as if I'm still watching out for him, like I did back at camp.

"She's right," Bae agrees. "No, this has something to do with what happened when I found you. You thought I was a hallucination. You said that you had to do the right thing and save Henry. What does that even mean?"

"Baelfire-" the Dark One says in protest, but Bae cuts him off.

"It's Neal!" he shouts. "Now stop dodging and tell me what's going on."

I blink in surprise. I don't think Bae raised his voice to anyone but Pan, for as long as I knew him. _Seeing him shouting, angry, frustrated...I never thought his father would make him feel the same things that Pan did. And yet, the way he presses his father, the way he shouts...it's not so different from when I was shouting at Pan only moments ago. _

His father looks at him, and seems to consider for a moment.

_Come on, tell him the truth. Make it right. Let me know if I have to pull out the dagger from my mindbox. _

"There was a Seer," the Dark One finally says. "And she told me of a prophecy. That a boy would help me reunite with you. And that boy would be my undoing."

I can't help but look at the two in surprise. I'm not sure what happened between the two of them. I'm not sure how Bae reunited with his father, or how a boy caused it.

_But if that boy reunited father and son, who better than the grandson. Who better than Henry? But if that's the case then...Henry is the Dark One's undoing. _

Bae stares at his father, as he puts it together too.

"Henry," he murmurs, the look on his face a combination of surprise and revulsion.

"I didn't know he was going to be my own grandson," explains the Dark One. "Until I discovered you in New York, and realized that you were his father."

_New York...so Bae did make it to my world. He settled down in New York. He obviously met Emma, had Henry...he started a life away from Neverland. _

I smile, until I see the look on Bae's face.

_I didn't know he was going to be my own grandson...why would that matter. Why would he care unless...unless...oh, gods…_

"You were planning on getting rid of him," Bae mutters, coming to the same conclusion as me. "Whoever he was, weren't you? To try to cheat fate. To get around the prophecy, you cold blooded son of a bitch. You were going to kill him."

Bae's father looks at him, his expression pleading, as he nods.

"Yes," he says, confirming everything Bae has said.

For a second, I feel as disgusted as Bae sounds, until I realize something sick.

_I'm doing the same thing. Planning on killing someone, no matter who they were. Guilty murderer, or innocent child, I was planning to kill so that my brothers could live. I didn't care who died in the end, because I wanted my brothers to live. _

So maybe there wasn't some prophecy I was trying to avoid. Maybe I was doing it for my brothers. But, now that I look at it...I'm no different from Bae's father. I was planning to help kill an innocent boy, Bae's son or not. I was going to befriend him, and trick him, to save the people I love. The people I left behind, not because it was wrong, but because he was Bae's son.

_How does that make me any different from Bae's father?_

Bae, however, hasn't noticed this. He just stares at his father, as if he is the most horrible person on the planet. I wonder if this is how I look at Pan sometimes. He steps back, and points at his father.

"Get back," he says...no, commands. "You stay away from him."

His father tries to step forward, to explain, but if I know Bae, he won't have any of it. So what will he do when he figures out that I'm just as bad as his father?

"That was then," protests the Dark One. "Things have changed. I didn't come to Neverland to hurt Henry. I came here to save him."

If that's true then I am worse than him. Because I was the one who was helping Pan kill an innocent boy. I didn't try to save him, I tried to save my brothers.

"After what you just said, I'm supposed to believe you?" asks Bae, angrily.

_Maybe he would. Maybe he would if he knew what I was doing. That what Pan and I were planning...I can't keep this from him. I won't. I never hid anything from him, and I won't do it now. _

"Bae-" I start, but Bae cuts me off.

"Stay out of this, Jess," he orders.

_He doesn't understand. I'm worse than his father, as bad as Pan. Doesn't he get that?_

"Bae, I-"

"No, Jess," Bae says sharply. "This isn't your fight. It's between me and my father."

He's right. But I may just be the only one who can make him see the truth.

Before I can open my mouth, though, the Dark One pushes on.

"I won't lie to you, Bae," he says, his voice almost pleading. "Self-preservation has always been a nasty habit I've had my whole life. But I came here to break it, and to do the right thing. To save your son, even if that meant sacrificing my own life. You have to trust me."

Bae just raises his eyebrows in disbelief, and his expression shows that he is no closer to trusting his father than before.

_Yet he trusts me with everything. Like father, like son, I guess. But neither Bae or Henry see that I'm as bad as Pan, and that might make me more dangerous than Pan or the Dark One ever was. _

"How can I?" Bae asks simply.

It's not a bad question. Under any other circumstances, it wouldn't be a bad question. His father did abandon him after all, and spent years torturing and killing other people. But the truth is that I'm worse than the Dark One, and Bae has yet to see that.

The Dark One looks at his son for a moment, a pained expression on his face. Then, ever so slowly, he turns to me.

_Oh, come on...don't do that. _

"How can you trust her?" he asks, gesturing to me.

Bae rolls his eyes, while I hold up my hands defensively.

"Leave her out of this," Bae says, sounding frustrated, but the Dark One pushes on.

"She was with Pan when we came into camp," the Dark One says. "She said that she was going to murder Henry. That they were going to kill him. The only reason she has helped us is because she knows that you are the boy's father. But she was still going to help Pan kill an innocent child if she hadn't known. She might have saved your life, but you heard her. She was ready to help kill an innocent boy, regardless of his parentage."

_Wow...he understood it. He saw what I've been trying to explain to Bae during this entire conversation. That I'm working with Pan, and I was ready to help kill an innocent boy. It wasn't until I learned who his parents were, not who the boy himself was, that I turned from Pan. _

Bae looks at me, and for a second, our eyes meet. In that second, I see a flash of something. Something that questions me. That asks if what he says is true. If I'm truly the monster that I see myself as.

Then, he shakes his head, and turns back to his father.

"I know I can trust her," he replies. "because while self-preservation is a nasty habit of yours, the last thing Jess will do is save herself. She'll always put someone's needs before her own, no matter what the cost is for her. If she says she was going to help Pan kill Henry, then she had a damn good reason to do it. She wouldn't do it to save herself. She would do it because she thought she was saving someone."

I think my heart skips a beat at his words.

_Is that really how he sees me? As someone who puts the needs of others before her own? His words...they make me seem like some sort of hero. One who might have to make a bad decision, but had a good reason for doing so. _

I realize when he shared the glance with me, just a minute ago, it wasn't asking me if it was true. It was seeing it was true, and forgiving me. It was looking, seeing that what I was doing was wrong, but forgiving me for doing it anyway.

_Why?_ I think. _Why would he forgive me? I was ready to help kill his son, and he forgives me out of the blue? Why? _

I don't know, but then again, does it matter? His father just layed out who I am in front of him. And he forgave me without a second thought...I don't think he even thought about it. He just knew, and forgave me, saying he could trust me. He didn't even hesitate.

I realize that on the verge of tears, and I have to look away from the two to hide it. Slowly, I sit beside Henry, as he still sleeps, trying not to focus on how touching Bae's words were.

_He won't even forgive his own father, but he forgave me without hesitation. _

I don't know what happens between the Dark One and Bae, only that Bae must have silently ended the conversation, because he sits down next to me without a word.

_He forgave me...it didn't matter what I was doing, he forgave me. _

I would open my mouth, tell him thanks, ask him why he forgave me so easily, but the tension between him and his father is so great I can almost reach out and touch it. The last thing I need is to make things worse by pointing out that Bae forgave me, not his father. Instead, I imagine a glove over my hand, and I take his hand, so that we can touch without being shocked. Bae glances down, before giving my hand a small squeeze.

Just something. Just something small to let me know that he's here. That my brother is back, and he doesn't care what I've done.

_But...he doesn't know. He doesn't know the full truth. That I joined Pan. That I really joined him. And when I tell him...it'll be Hook all over again._

He doesn't know that I was playing Henry. That I was manipulating him, that I was ready to kill him. He doesn't understand that even though my intentions may seem fine to him, I have done things to get there. Things that...should never have to happen to an ordinary kid.

_He wouldn't forgive me if he knew. If he truly knew. I'm as bad as his father. Maybe worse. His father has the decency to suck people into deals, to trap them. But me? I manipulate people without them realizing it. I pretended to be Henry's friend so that he would see me as someone worth saving. When the truth is I don't need saving at all. _

We sit there, me and him, not looking or saying a word. Just sitting, side by side, as if waiting for him or his father to make a move. The silence is almost suffocating, and I would say something if I thought it was my place. But Bae...he told me to stay out. I'll regard his request.

For what feels like an hour, no one says anything. Everyone just seems to be waiting for the other. Eventually, the Dark One breaks the silence.

"Tell me what I have to do to regain your trust," he says, looking at his son. "And I'll do it."

Bae looks up at him, but doesn't move.

But I pause, and listen. Because it's Bae. And if his father finds someway to regain his trust, then I will have to do the same, once he realizes everything he has done.

"Give me the Dark One dagger," he replies.

Both the Dark One and I stare at him, and I know why we do it. The Dark One knows he hid the dagger. He doesn't know it's hidden with me. He couldn't return it if he wanted too.

The one thing Bae asks for is the one thing that his father cannot give. But I can. I can give it to him, show that his father is trustworthy, and that I'm with him.

_Right? I'm with him? Even though my brothers are all back at camp, unaware that I've just betrayed them...no, I can't think about that. Not now. _

"I know you," Bae goes on, still looking at his father. "I know you wouldn't come all the way to Neverland without it. It's the only thing that can control you. It's the only thing that can stop you. You wouldn't take any chances with it."

Exactly. He wouldn't. Which is why it's in my hands, the one person he probably trusts the least, after Pan, and he doesn't even know it. And once again, I'm the one standing in the way between Neal and his father.

_But I can't give it up. The Dark One was able to knock out the boys even though I hold the dagger. And Pan was right. If the Dark One was ever planning to murder his own grandson, he wouldn't blink to get rid of me. He already distrusts me for being a Lost Girl. What would he do without me holding onto the dagger? He would kill me and every one of my brothers. Toodles, Nibs, all the young ones would be killed without a second thought. _

No, I hold onto the dagger. For now. If Bae truly needs it, then I will give it, but for now I hold onto it.

"I don't have it," protests the Dark One, being honest for once.

"Why are you lying?" Bae asks, and I can see his anger at his father coming back with new life.

"I'm not lying to you, Bae," the Dark One replies, and I suddenly feel a pang of guilt. "I hid it, so Pan couldn't get it. So he couldn't stop me."

_He isn't lying. And maybe he does want to make amends with Bae. But he can't, because I have the dagger. I'm the one who is keeping them apart. _

But I need it. It's the only thing ensuring that my brothers don't get hurt.

_Yet I still abandoned them for-no, I won't think about that!_

"Then unhide it!" snaps Bae, clearly becoming more and more frustrated.

The Dark One looks at him for a brief second, before shaking his head.

"My shadow took it," he replies.

The look on his face tells me he knows how pathetic that sounds. That he sounds like a kid who is caught acting up, and blames someone else for the thing he obviously did.

But in this case he's being honest. He truly hid it. He doesn't know where it is, or else he would have approached me about it. For once, I believe the Dark One, and it makes me feel guilty. All I would have to do is say something, pull out the dagger, and Bae would know the truth.

Bae lets out a dry chuckle at his father's reply.

"Your shadow?" he repeats, standing up. "Man, you have an answer for everything, don't you?"

But this answer is right. It's right, and he doesn't believe him.

"I'm telling you the truth, I swear," says the Dark One, desperately. He sees it too. He sees that with every word he says, his son gets farther, and farther away.

_Dammit, I can't do this!_

"Bae, he's telling the truth," I say, unable to hold back any longer.

Both men look at he, and I stand up.

_What am I doing? I can't reveal the dagger. It's the one thing I have that ensures my brothers' safety. No, I have to hold onto it. But, I can try to make things easier. I can still try to amend things between the two. I owe Bae that much. _

"Pan told me about it," I say, the lie coming out all too easily. "He says that he sent his shadow to search for the dagger, but it isn't here. He doesn't know where it is. There's no way your father could have left Neverland without Pan realizing it, so it must have been his shadow that hid it."

The Dark One shoots me a look that's almost grateful, before his eyes harden as he remembers what I am. That I'm the one his son forgave, instead of him. The one who his son trusts over him.

Bae shakes his head, and I feel my heart sink.

_He doesn't believe me. Or if he does, it doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. _

"Maybe he did hide it," he replies. "Maybe he does want to do the right thing, but that's today. What about tomorrow?"

"I've changed," the Dark One murmurs, his expression almost pleading as he looks at his son. He wants his son to believe him. To trust him. And that's the one thing he won't give.

_He has done this too many times, _I realize. _He abandoned his son. He was ready to kill his grandson. That is why Bae can't forgive him. It would be like me forgiving my father, or Pan's son forgiving him. Perhaps his father wants to do the right thing, but Bae will never be able to trust him. Because he left his own son, and that is the greatest sin a father can commit. Nothing else is too low for him, even killing Henry. _

And yet I wanted the same thing, and Bae trusts me all the same.

"Have you?" Bae asks, turning to round on his father.

"Yes!" insists the Dark One.

"The prophecy still stands," Bae replies, shaking his head. "Henry is still your undoing."

The Dark One draws himself up, and he looks Bae straight in the eye.

"I'm still willing to die for him," he replies, his tone dead serious.

Anyone else might believe him. Gods, I almost believe him. But not Bae. Because Bae can never trust him again.

"What happens when we get back?" he asks. "And you're reunited with Belle? And you realize that the only thing standing between you and your happy ending is my son. And suddenly 'undoing' doesn't sound so great."

The Dark One looks at him, before shaking his head. The look he gives him...I wish I could say I recognize it. Maybe I do. Maybe that's how my father used to look at me before he left. Because the look on the Dark One's face is so loving and tender...at this moment, I don't see the Dark One. I see a father who loves his son more than anything.

"_You're_ my happy ending," he replies.

Bae's face is nothing but surprise, and he doesn't say a word.

"_This _is," the Dark One continues. "Because it is my redemption. I can be strong, son, if you have faith in me."

Bae looks down, then looks at me. I can see it in his eyes. The torment. He wants to forgive his father, but he can't. Because his father has done too much. His father has become his enemy, because he is willing to hurt his son.

_Just as Hook has become my enemy. _

There's nothing more I can do. Even if I did show the dagger, it wouldn't make a difference. It would just drive the wedge even further, because Bae would trust me more than his father.

He wrings his hands, and I almost miss it. The small leaf that sticks to the palm of his hand. I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't been looking.

Then, he takes his father's hand, and presses the leaf against him.

_No...wait a second...this is what I did. I tricked Pan into kissing me to freeze him. Bae...he's doing the same thing. He's going to run. Because there is no way he can trust the man who abandoned him. If I were him...I wouldn't either. _

"You know when I was living here," Bae whispers. "And sleeping in a cave, I used to dream of you coming to rescue me. To get me and Jess out of here, and back home."

I see a brief flicker of a smile on the Dark One's face, and I look away.

Because I remember those dreams. I remember how Bae would wake up, screaming for his father to save him, to not abandon him. How it tortured him, knowing his father was never going to save him, because he had left him behind for power.

_And his father comes back, back into his life, planning to kill his grandson. Even if things changed, he left Bae, and was ready to kill his grandson. For what? For his own gain. So he could not be defeated by anyone. _

All those years in the cave with Bae, I've come to realize just how far his father had let him down. And he's doing it again. And now...the Dark One knows Pan is planning to kill Henry. What's to stop him from allying with Pan, and letting Pan do his dirty work? Nothing. Except his son, and a Lost Girl with his magic knife.

"But then I would wake up," Bae goes on, and for a second, I have to close my eyes as I remember Bae when he was tortured.

_How his fever dreams haunted him. How terrified he was. And how I had to take care of him. How I would hold his hand until he slept. _

The Dark One never took care of Bae, I realize. I did. I was the one who was there for him. The one who looked after him, who protected him, who got him out. That's why he trusts me. Because I had the option of abandoning him, and I never did.

"And I'd remember how you left me behind," Bae continues.

The Dark One's smile fades, and he shakes his head pleadingly at his son.

"You left your own son behind for the power of that dagger," Bae says, driving the nail further. "How can I think that things will ever be any different?"

With that, he pulls away, and the Dark One looks down, finally seeing the leaf. His expression goes from confused, to understanding, to terrified as he shakes off the leaf and sees the ink on the palm of his hand, and the purple glow encompasses him.

"Neal," he says, and for once he sounds scared. For himself or Bae, I don't know. "What are you doing?"

Bae turns, and grabs Henry, slinging him over his shoulder again. He only has to look at me, and I get to my feet.

_Of course I'm coming with him. I made that decision to look after him, and if he is truly set on abandoning his father, then I may be the only person who can protect him. Just as I used to. _

"I'm going to find Emma," he replies, giving his father a look of clear distrust. "And the others, find away to break Pan's spell on Jess and I, and get the hell off this island. And I'm going to get my family back home."

He starts to walk, and I walk with him, silently. I may know this island better, but I can't say that now. I can lead him to safety, or back to Emma and her group when the time comes, but not when the Dark One is still here.

"You can't go into the jungle alone," the Dark One insists. "Without my power to protect you, Pan will capture you both, and take back the girl. Who is going to protect you from Pan if I'm gone?"

I know I should stay silent. That I shouldn't say a word. But I have too. Because he wasn't there when Bae was tortured. He wasn't the one who looked after him. Who joined Pan to save him, and who gave him a chance at a life by getting him off of Neverland. I did.

"I will," I reply, looking over at Bae's father. "I always have."

Bae looks at me, and gives me a small smile, before turning back to his father.

"Sorry," he replies, his smile vanishing. "But I have no choice. Good-bye, papa."

With that, he turns around, and walks away with me, leaving his father behind, just as I left Pan and the boys behind earlier.

We don't say anything as we go. We just walk in silence, neither of us ready to talk about what has just taken place.

_I don't know what the Dark One's intentions were. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he was trying to save Henry. But...he's the Dark One. _

No matter how much he pleads with Bae that he's changed, I can only think about all the things I watched him do in my dreams. He was the one who suggested the curse. The one who made Snow White and her prince send away their baby. He killed so many for his own gain. And he abandoned his own son for power. I may be worse than him, but I still can't trust him.

And, if he was lying, then I've had enough of lies for one night. First Pan lied that it was a kid. Then he lied about Hook, then about Henry being Bae's son. Lies. All for what? To protect me? I'm not sure what he thought he was protecting me from, but I can't think of anywhere I'd be in more danger than with him.

He's still playing his games. After all this time, he played a game with me so that I would play along with Henry. He played the game again with Bae. He didn't say a word, so that I would go through with his plan, and help kill Henry. He would watch me kill the son of the boy I cared about, probably just to enjoy the irony of it all.

_And I would have done it. I would have killed Henry. I would do it to save my brothers. _

Yet here I am now, helping him get away because of who his father is. Not because he's a kid, but because his father is someone I care about. Not Henry himself.

And my brothers are still at camp, probably thinking that I've betrayed them.

_Then again, that's what I've done, isn't it? I've betrayed my brothers to save Henry. I'm helping their only hope of survival get away. I'm snatching away the only chance they have left, and all because it is Bae. _

But Henry is Bae's son. I can't abandon him. I can't leave Bae. I can't let them die here. I worked too hard to get Bae out of here. I won't let him get trapped here, not if I can save him again.

_That was years ago, though,_ I think. _Things have changed. Bae, he's different now. So am I. How can I help him after all this time, when there is too much at stake. Like my brothers' lives? _

Because he forgave me. He forgave me for everything, and he remembered me. He never forgot about me, not once.

_But he doesn't know me. Not really. I've changed so much. I'm not the person I once was. How can he forgive me, knowing I was about to kill his son, even though we clearly are not the same people who said good-bye when he left Neverland? If he knew who I am now, he would abandon me like he did his father. Like Hook did with me. _

Then tell him. He needs to know. He has the right to know that he has placed his trust in a different person. That...I'm still not sure which side I'm on. Because I still care about him, and I don't want to see him, or his son dead. But at the same time, Henry is their last chance. Without him, I lose my family. Without him dying, I lose them. All of them. Felix, Marcus, Perrin, Devon, Bryan. The younger ones...Toodles, Slightly, the Twins. All dead, unless Henry dies.

_He has the right to know. He has the right to the choice to leave me. _

"Thanks," I say, forcing the word out of my mouth.

Bae glances at me, but doesn't say anything, so I continue.

"For standing up for me back there. For saying those things. It meant...it meant a lot to me."

Bae shrugs as he keeps walking.

"Not sure why you're so surprised," he replies. "Every word I said was true."

And that's what is going to make this hurt even more, for the both of us. Knowing that he trusts me, and I'm going to break that trust...it's going to hurt. Because he may break off one of the few good things I had when I was running from Pan. He may end one of the few things that I know was true. Between Pan, and the Dark One, there have been so many secrets, so many lies. But what happened with Bae and I, what the two of us shared...that was real. That was true. And if he ends it, if it isn't real anymore, because of what I've become...it's going to hurt both of us more than any lie ever could. Because we'll have to throw away years of taking care of each other, of supporting one another, of loving each other, and not look back.

But he has to make the decision. I have to let him. Because Pan has already lied to me. Felix...he might have helped. Tink has betrayed Pan, and the Shadow was ready to kill my family to get me away from Pan. if I keep this from him, what makes me any different from them. I want to take care of my family, but I can't do that without telling Bae the truth.

_Oh gods, I don't want to lose him too. But I may have to. I might have no other choice._

"Bae, there's something you need to know," I say, the words spilling out before I have the chance to stall or rethink this.

Bae turns and looks at me in surprise, as the two of us continue our trek through the jungle. I can tell that we are heading inward, towards the center of the island. It's the best we are going to be able to do until we find Emma and her group's trail.

"What is it?" he asks, readjusting his grip on Henry.

_Gods, I'm going to lose him. I just got him back, and I'm going to lose him. He's going to see me for what I am, and walk away. Everything he and I were, gone with what I have to say. _

I love him so much. And I've missed him so much. And I don't want to fight him. I won't fight him, if he walks away. But he needs to have that choice. He needs to have the choice to walk away.

"After you left," I start, even though each word is harder and harder to get out. "After you left, I fell into a hard place. I had nothing and...I didn't see anything that was good for me. I was alone, and I was terrified that he was going to break me."

Bae stops, and watches me intently. I stop too, and...gods, I can't look at him. I'm going to break his heart with this, I know it.

Bae doesn't ask me who "he" is. We both know. After all those years together, we know.

"And I...I realized that I had no reason to be so scared of him," I murmur, looking at the ground. "No reason to be afraid of him breaking me, of becoming Vin, because Vin was just a name. It was just what the Lost Boys called me, because that's who they saw me as. As their sister. And I realized that I was in no danger, that they needed me...so I...I…"

_Gods, I can't do this. I can't say it. I can't do this to him, I can't hurt him like this. I can't, I won't do this to him. _

"You what, Jess?" asks Bae, gently.

At his voice, my eyes involuntarily fly to him, and his expression is unreadable.

_Gods, Bae, I love you. I hope you understand what I'm about to do._

"I joined them, Bae," I choke out. "I truly joined them. I realized there was no reason to fight them, so I chose to love them instead. I chose to become a Lost Girl, Bae. I had the choice to run, and instead I chose them."

_There. I said it. Now he knows. _

I haven't felt this nervous since I told Felix the truth about Sebastian. Worried about how someone's going to know the truth, now that it's out in the open. Worried that they are going to turn on me, or leave me. The same way that Hook has turned his back on me.

Bae looks at me for one moment, and I look away, mentally bracing myself for the storm that's going to follow. The same shouting that he gave his father. I get ready for him to turn his back, and walk away, and leave me on my own, and force me to choose a side.

"Good."

My eyes snap to him, and his expression isn't angry, or upset. It's not happy either. It's...it's as if his suspicions have been confirmed, something he knew was going to happen all along.

_Good...he says good...why would he say that? Did he not understand what I just said? _

"What?" I ask, my voice no more than a whisper.

Bae looks me in the eye, and...I don't remember the last time his eyes were this serious.

"I said 'good,'" he replies.

But that...that doesn't make any sense. All those years we fought the Lost Boys, all those years of running away from them, from hating them, and he is saying that it's good that I joined. That it's good that I stayed with them, instead of leaving when I had the chance.

I blink and shake my head, trying to wrap my head around what he is saying. It's as if Pan came out and told everyone the truth of how he came to Neverland. It would never happen. Bae would never say that it was good that I joined the Lost Boys.

"I...I don't understand," I say, looking at Bae in confusion. "How do _you_ think that it's good that _I _joined the Lost Ones? You hate them."

Bae shrugs.

"Maybe," he replies.

_Maybe? Maybe? He hates the Lost Ones. He spent years running from them, just like I did, and hated them because of how he had to live, like a hunted animal, because of them. He doesn't "maybe" hate the Lost Ones. _

"It's Pan I hated," Bae goes on, seeing the look on my face. "Him, and those that wanted to hurt me. But you forget how well I know you, Jess. What I told my father, about you never try to save yourself? I meant every word of that. Because that's what you do. You find someone to look after. Someone to love, someone to fight for. Someone whose needs you put before your own. It's just who you are.

"You looked after your sister until it was no longer possible. So you loved Hook and me until we were out of reach. If you hadn't found anyone, Pan would have gotten you. He would have been able to break you. Because you wouldn't have the thing that makes you the Jess we all know and love.

"I didn't think about it until after I had left, but if Pan was going to break you, he should have made his move as soon as I left Neverland. Because there was no one left for you to fight for. No one left for you to put above yourself. No one for you to love. You would just be a shell, and Pan could have filled you with whatever sick person he wanted you to be. If you chose to love the Lost Boys, to put them above yourself, that means you haven't changed. That Pan hasn't broken you. You're still the same girl who got me out of this place, who gave me a second chance at life. You're still my sister."

He doesn't say anything else. Because he said everything he had too. And I can only stare at him after that speech. But inside, I can't decide if I could fly or cry tears of joy.

Because what he said seems too good to be true. It almost feels wrong with how _right_ it is.

He's forgiven me. He sees that I've joined Pan and yet...he doesn't care. More than that, he thinks that it is good for me. He thinks that I did the right thing with joining the Lost Ones.

_And he's wrong. _

"How?" I ask. "Just...how? I was going to kill your _son_, Bae. How can you just look at me and be alright with it?"

Bae blinks, evidently not expecting my reply.

Well, I don't know what he would be expecting. He made it sound like I was some self-sacrificing heroine from fairy tales, maybe the same as Snow White and the others. But I'm not. I never was.

"Yes, Bae," I say, taking in his stunned look. "I joined the boys, and I didn't break because I chose to love them. But what good did that do? Bae, I was ready to kill an innocent boy. The only reason things truly turned was because I realized Pan has lied too many times, and that Henry is your son. Pan might not have broken me, but that doesn't mean I'm still a good person."

I realized that a while ago. When I saw that I was trying to befriend Henry, only to kill him. That I was going down a path that might not hold any redemption for me.

_But I had to do it. It was the only way. It still is. Bae's son or not, Henry is the only chance I have at saving my brothers. But if I take Henry, if I go back down that road...I'm still as bad as Pan. Even worse. Because I'll have betrayed Bae to do it. I'll have killed my best friend's son, no matter how good my intentions are. _

"That's where you were wrong, Bae," I murmur when he doesn't say anything. "With your father. You said you could trust me because I wasn't about to kill Henry for my own good. You're right. If I was in your father's position, I would let Henry live. But I would kill him, nonetheless. I didn't break, Bae. I became a monster instead. "

And just like that, I've drawn the line. I've let him see me for what I am. Maybe I wouldn't kill Henry for me. Or maybe I would. If what he says is true, and I always need someone to fight for, then I could make the argument that the only reason I'm trying to save the boys is because I need someone to love. Either way, I've sunk to a level that only Pan is at. Because unlike Bae's father, I'm not looking for redemption. I'm looking to save the people I care about.

I force myself to look Bae in the eye, to face him. To get ready for him to say something that will change everything. Whether it's 'leave' like Hook, or it's something else deep and meaningful, I know him. He's going to do something to protect his son. It's what he should do. It's what any good parent should do. And I'll let him do it. I could never stop him. We shared so much, I could never hurt him.

_But I could never hurt the Lost Boys either. So why am I not taking Henry and running back to camp? _

I'm torn from my thoughts when Bae grabs my gloved hand, and squeezes it.

_What? _

"You listen to me, Jessica Lancaster," he says, and his tone is dead serious. The only time I heard him, or seen him like this, was when...when he made a promise to never forget me. To always remember me as Jess Lancaster.

_He never forgot. I know that much. I never realized how deep that remembrance was. _

"Yeah, I remembered your name," he says, catching the surprise on my face. "I made you a promise, didn't I? Well, do you know what? I kept it. For nineteen years, I've kept your promise. I remembered you as a girl who dreamt of fairy-tales, who gave herself up for her sister, who rescued me when Pan was planning to kill me. For nineteen years, I held onto that memory, and I would never let go of it, no matter where I was. And for ten years, when I closed my eyes, I would see you, and wonder if it was right to go while you were still trapped here. And for the next nine, the only thing that kept me holding on was the knowledge that you wouldn't have let Pan break you. You still were a good person, no matter what Pan said or did."

His grasp suddenly isn't a gentle squeeze. It almost feels like he's crushing my hand in his grip.

"So don't, _don't_," he continues forcefully. "say that you were going to kill my son, no matter what, and don't say that you are a monster. Because for nineteen years, no matter how hard it got, I would still keep going, because I thought 'Jess didn't get me out, just to throw my life away.' You say that you were going to kill my son? You wouldn't. Deep down, I think you know that. That's why you jumped on Pan when you knew the truth. Because you hated the path he was dragging you down, if he convinced you that you had to kill an innocent kid. You hated it so much, that you took the first chance you could to get out of it. You left Pan, and you were angry at him, not because he's my son, but because you don't want to kill Henry. You say you're a monster? Bullshit. I did not spend the last nineteen years of my life, believing you were unbeatable to come back and find you worse than Pan. You always struggled with the idea that you were like Pan, but the truth is you're nothing like him. So don't say that you're a monster, and don't believe it either, no matter what Pan makes you do. It's not fair to you, to me, or to Abby."

_Wait...what? No way...he didn't…_

For a second time tonight, everything seems to stop, as I replay those last words over and over again.

"_Or to Abby...Or to Abby…" _

"Bae...did you say…" I whisper, unable to believe it.

_I know I asked him. I begged him...but I didn't think it was possible...finding a needle in a haystack, but if he did, after all these years. _

Bae's eyes lose some of their hardness, and his grip slackens ever so slightly.

"Yes," he replies softly, nodding slightly. "Yes. I found Abby, Jess."

_That's...oh gods...he found her. After all this time...he found her. He talked to her, by the sound of it. He...he...he found her. _

It's as if a great weight is lifted off my shoulders, even though I never knew it was there. He found her. He found her. He found Abby. He kept his second promise to me. He found my sister.

_How is it that moments ago I could only choke out words, but now it seems all my words are stumbling on each other to get out? _

"What-_how?_" I ask. "When did you-where is she? Is she okay? How long ago? What happened-"

"It's alright," Bae says, quickly cutting me off. "She's fine. More than fine. She just had a birthday last month. She helps run a toy store now, but she also likes to draw. She's really good at it too, some people have started to pay her for her work."

His words seem so strange, and yet they are all too perfect.

_She's fine. She just had a birthday. She runs a toy store, but likes to draw. She used to hate drawing, but now she's doing it for fun. _

My sister. That's my little sister he's talking about. My baby sister, whom I last saw when I got her away from Pan, on one of the worst moments of my life. I got her out, I got her to safety.

And she's out there, living a life. She's fine. She's _happy_. She's done well, and she's happy.

_But there is still so much. So much I'm missing. So much I still need to know. _

"And?" I ask, eagerly. "What else? Is she married? Does she have kids? How old is she? Did she go to college? Is she still living in...in…"

_Dammit, I forgot the name of that city. I spent seventeen years of my life there, but after all these years, it seems something small and unimportant. _

"No, she didn't marry," Bae replies, and somehow he has lost the seriousness in his eyes. He's smiling, and somehow I'm smiling as well. "But she's been dating the same man for about five years now, and I hear things are getting really serious. She went to college, too. Some Ivy League, but I don't remember which one. But, yeah, she still lives in the same city. Same house, actually. She moved out for a while, but then your mom got too old, so Abby moved in to help her."

Each word makes my heart soar a little bit more. My sister is dating someone. Studied in an Ivy League school...she always was smart. Same city, moving in to take care of Mom.

_My sister. That's my little sister, living that life I'll never lead. But that's okay. She's happy. She's happy. That's all that matters. _

Bae's eyes light up, and he suddenly reaches into his pocket, fiddling with what looks like a small silver rectangular box.

"Here," he says, pressing something, causing the box to light up.

What is that? Something new I haven't seen? How long have I been gone?

"Of course there's no signal," Bae mutters, before holding the box over to me.

I can't tell what it is, but it looks like some sort of screen. I can only guess this is some sort of small television or camera that developed after I was brought here. But what really catches my eye is what's on the screen.

It's the picture of a woman. Maybe in her early thirties, but she doesn't seem to be old. Beautiful, with chestnut brown hair, and sparkling eyes. Smiling. Happy.

_She looks like Mom, _I realize, and I suddenly feel my eyes stinging. _She looks like Mom, and she's beautiful. _

That's my sister. My beautiful, wonderful, baby sister. Grown up. Happy. Still full of life as ever.

I feel something wet trickling down my cheek, and I realize I'm crying. But that's alright. It feels like nothing could take away from the euphoria I feel, seeing this image.

_Abby. My sister. She's alright. _

"When I found her," Bae says, softly. "She told me she believed that you were coming back, somehow. That you were going to make it out, magic water or not. She still believes in you, Jess. After all this time, she knows she'll see her big sister again. "

I tear my eyes from the picture, and I look back up to Bae. And I don't see someone I've betrayed. Not anymore. I see my brother. The boy whom I protected for years, and whom I still have to look after. Because he has believed in me all these years, and he has told me something greater.

Confirmation. He has reassured me that after all these years, my sister is still safe.

Bae meets my eyes, and the look in his eyes is firm, but pleading all the same.

"Don't say you're a monster, Jess," he says. "And don't say that you're a bad person, because you joined the Lost Ones, and worked with Pan. Because I still believe that you are the same girl who got me out of Neverland. And Abby? Abby still believes in you. She still believes that her big sister, the one who sacrificed herself without a second thought, is still here. Even if you can't leave...don't stop believing in yourself. Because we still do. Abby still believes in you."

What I feel...I didn't ever think it was possible to feel what I do. I don't know what it is, or what to call it. But I feel it.

I can't leave. That much is true. I can't see my sister, or talk to her again. I can't go back.

_I can't leave Neverland without dying, and I've made a life here. I've made a life with my brothers, and I'm not about to leave it behind. _

But in that moment, I forget all of that. I stop caring about Pan and his lies, Hook and how he turned his back on me, Henry and how he needs to die for the boys to live. All the conflict on Neverland...I don't care about it, just for this one moment.

Because my sister still believes in me. And maybe...maybe that means I'm still the girl who gave herself to Pan. The girl who was still strong enough to do what it took to save her family's life. The one who traded herself for her sister, the one who stayed with a dying boy in his last moments, the one who lived a lie to make sure her brother stayed safe, and then got him to safety when he was in danger. The one who will still do anything to save the people she loves.

I still don't know what I'm going to do about Henry, and the Lost Boys. I'll have to make a choice, and when I do, I have to stand by it. But for now, it doesn't matter.

_Because my sister is alive and happy. And for now, that's everything._

* * *

**A/N:** Oh my gosh... I wrote this chapter, and I'm getting feels!

I know the wait was kind of long for this chapter, and I'm sorry for that. In the last month I've had to move to a different city, which was difficult for me. Plus I got a new computer, which wasn't so difficult, but it took some time for it to adjust with the story. There were some computer problems when editing this chapter, especially with getting it to my beta, but it's all set now, and everything is just peachy! I know I can't say it enough, but thank you so much, for y'all's patience with me!

A special thanks to **Miss Lottie Rose, Asphodelia, LisbethMeglomania, HarryPotterGeek7-31, tommoissexy15, twitilda, UltimateFan-girl15, byakugone, the-first-beast, **and** Itellmyselfsecrets **for putting this story on alert, and to **Miss Lottie Rose, ****HarryPotterGeek7-31, tommoissexy15, ****UltimateFan-girl15, smilingliketheresnothingwrong, Long Live OutlawQueen, ****byakugone, the-first-beast, **and** Itellmyselfsecrets **for favoriting it.

Also, a special thanks to **sarah0406, Charmedhpgirl, Mokina, scorpiongirl92, Deadly Papegoja, ReginaQueenOfHogwarts, GiraffePanda2, Fangirl Moustache, LunaEvanna Longbottom, mercenary2.0, LyrisaLove, chinaluv, Giggles789, 8839, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, The Wolf Who Writes, Taeniaea, REDROBIN007, Long Live OutlawQueen, Maeburke3, ColdHeartAngel, SilverFury01, songwriter16, meguhanu, Female whovian, katerinamak2015, UltimateFan-girl15, Ellimac1716,** Lauren, and the many guests who left reviews that made me skip around my room.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Abby's reappearance, and Bae's reaction to Jess joining the Lost Ones are especially appreciated. **:)**


	50. Chapter 50

"So, what are you going to do?" asks Bae.

We haven't said anything, not since I handed him back whatever it was that had the picture on it, and kept moving. He's left me alone to my thoughts.

And my thoughts...I feel everything. I've seen my sister alive and well, and that makes me happier than I thought was possible. I feel relief, knowing that she's alright. Yet, now that the euphoria has worn off, there's an ache that I haven't felt in years. The ache of knowing that my sister is out there, and I will never be able to see her again. Because I can't leave here without dying. And, even if I could, I wouldn't leave the Lost Boys. Because they still need me, and if there's any truth in what Bae said, I need them too.

So what am I going to do? I can't leave, that's for sure. But I'm not about to let Bae get captured, or worse. Because I know Pan, and I know the boys. Most of them were ready to kill Bae once, because they thought he hurt me. What would they do if they knew that Bae had taken Henry, and that I had left with him.

_But I'm going back. I have too. I won't trust Pan, obviously, but I'm going back. It's not like I have anywhere else I could go. So I guess that means that I'm letting Bae go. That I'm getting him back to Emma, and Hook, and their group, and letting them get out of here._

But if I do that, I'm losing the boys' only chance of survival. I let Henry go, and they die. All of them. I let Henry go, and I may as well kill them myself. They are running out of time, and if I let Bae take Henry out, then I'll have made my choice. And it will be to let all my brothers die, so that one boy can live.

But it's Bae's son. And he's right, I don't want to kill Henry. Henry is innocent. He sees good in people, and has faith in the people he loves. He's a good boy. I don't want to see him dead, even if it saves my brothers.

But if he doesn't die, then my brothers die. I can't make that decision. An innocent life or my family. I don't know the answer, and part of me isn't sure that I want to. Do I kill an innocent to save more lives, many of them as innocent as the one I'm taking, or do I save him at the cost of many lives, many of whom were just as innocent?

"I don't know," I reply, looking up at Bae. "I...I want to help you, Bae. I do. But...Bae, I can't choose. I love you so much, but the Lost Boys are my family. If I let you go, if I let Henry go, then...I lose them Bae. I lose them all. And Bae, they're not all bad. They are good boys. Pan...he influences them. He convinces them they have to do bad things, when they don't have too. Not really. They just believe they do, like when Pan made them believe they had to kill you to protect me. But they're good, Bae. They're...they're family, and I can't lose them."

"Whoa, slow down," says Bae, suddenly catching me on the shoulder.

I flinch, expecting a shock, but he has touched my clothes, not my skin.

"What do you mean 'you're going to lose them?'" he asks, looking at me with concern.

_No...I can't tell him… he has chosen his son. He will always choose his son. I can't put that burden on him, knowing his son's life is the only thing that will save all of my brothers. The burden hurts me, and I know it hurt Felix as well. Pan...well, I don't know if I can trust anything Pan has said to me in the last nineteen years._

"Bae," I start, but he shakes his head, and grasps the cloth on my shoulder tighter.

"What's going on, Jess?" he presses. "And don't tell me it's nothing. You might not have wanted to kill my son, but you were planning too. You wouldn't have done that without a good reason. You wouldn't have done it unless you truly believed that you had no other choice. So just tell me, how are you going to lose the Lost Boys."

No, I can't tell him. I can't. Because he will have to choose, and if he's anything better than my father, or his own father, or Pan, he will walk away from me. He'll choose his son. And then I'll have to choose. Let the son of my best friend die, or let my brothers die. I can't make that decision. I can't choose between Bae and the Lost Boys.

_When I accepted myself as Vin, it was because I could love them both. And I do. But I can't choose between them. I can never choose which one I love more, or which one to save. I can't._

I shake my head, refusing to look him in the eye. I can't tell him. I can't let him know what's really going on. If he does...I can't choose. I can't choose between them.

Bae looks like he wants to argue, but he just sighs in frustration, and lets go of my shoulder. I don't know why. Maybe he knows it will be pointless to argue with me, maybe because he knows something is up, but that I can't say. But he's upset, even if he tries not to show it. I know him too well to see otherwise.

"Alright," he says, shaking his head. "You don't want to tell me, fine. But help me find Emma. Get me over to her, and you can choose whether you want to help us or go back. Who knows, we might even be able to help you with whatever it is that you're not telling me. But we definitely won't if you don't tell us."

With that, he keeps on walking, but I can tell by the way that he's walking that he's frustrated. Going on forcefully, barely keeping himself from stomping. Yeah, he's definitely upset.

_He doesn't get it. It's not that I don't want to tell him. I do. But if I do, he's going to have to carry that weight. The weight of knowing that his son is the only thing that will save the Lost Boys. I won't do that to him. I won't put that burden on him, not when I can keep it from him. It's better I suffer from it, knowing that I have to kill an innocent boy, than him to suffer, knowing his son would have to die._

"Bae, I'm sorry," I say, as I move to catch up with him.

"Forget it, Jess," he replies, even though his tone suggests that he won't forget it for a while.

I don't want this. I don't want it to divide us. It already did that with Hook. I refuse to fight Bae. He already accepted that I joined the Lost Ones. I don't want him to fight me because I'm keeping a secret to protect him. But he won't let it go. I know him. He won't until he figures out what's wrong.

_Maybe...do as he suggested. Get him to Emma and Hook, and see if they can help. I doubt they can, but they might have something. Some sort of magic outside of Neverland that we can use. Something Pan has overlooked, just in the slightest way._

It's a longshot...but at least I won't have to choose for now. I can stay. I don't have to walk away, or choose between him and the others. Not like Hook. I won't have to choose between them again. He won't make me do that. If he saw that I was going to join the Lost Ones eventually, he won't make me choose between them.

For a couple of minutes, we walk in silence, as if we're both trying to forget what just happened. I don't like it when we're like this. When we don't talk to each other because the other is stewing. Not after all these years.

"So...New York, huh?" I say, trying to find something to break the tension.

Bae glances at me, and I can tell he sees what I'm doing. He used to do the same thing with me when I woke up from nightmares. Find some random subject to talk about, distracting me from focusing on the nightmare.

"Yeah," he replies, nodding. "I've lived there for...what, eleven years now?"

I never went to New York. Not in the years I spent in my home realm. I think I visited St. Louis when I was young, but if so I don't remember anything from it. It was a long, long time ago.

But, whether I went or not, my tactic seems to be working, so I push forward.

"What's it like?" I ask, partly curious, partly wanting to distract him from his frustration at me.

Bae glances at me, and grins. For a second I see a flicker of the boy who not only kept me safe, but also made me laugh when I needed it. Who joked about naming his children, who was sarcastic, and always ready for fun when the rare opportunity presented itself. It was what he was like in those moments when we could forget, just for a little bit, that we were trapped on Neverland, with no way to leave, and pretend that we were normal kids, living a normal life.

And he did. He went out, and he _did_ find a normal life. A place in New York, Emma and Henry...he settled down. He found the life we wanted for one another.

"There's no place like it," he says, his eyes lighting up. "Skyscrapers, far as the eye can see. Best pizza in the world. Everyone's loud, and obnoxious, and the streets smell like trash and greasy hotdogs. And it's great."

I find myself nodding, because I can understand why he would say that. We spent years surviving on berries and whatever animals we could get in our traps. Whenever we stepped out of our cave, we would have to watch our every move, as the slightest noise could have alert the Lost Ones. And if an area was unfamiliar, we had to find our way back fast, because we never knew what was lurking, waiting for us.

To go to a place, that's not all beaches and jungles, where food is available on every street, and there are people all around...it sounds so different, yet so _normal_ compared to Neverland. I made Neverland my home. I don't mind those things. But for Bae...to wake up every morning, and hearing the sounds of the city, telling him he was free and safe from Pan...it must be paradise for him.

"It sounds wonderful," I murmur, as I start to take the lead.

I want to find out more. I need to find out more. For nineteen years, I don't know what happened to him, and I don't know how long I have before he has to go, with or without me or Henry.

"What do you do there?"

Bae gets a glint in his eye, and shakes his head.

"Oh no, you don't," he retorts playfully. "Now you have to answer one of my questions. Where are you living? Don't tell me it's with all those boys, because I know you. You need your own space."

I don't have to fake the smile that keeps pushing it's way on my face.

Even after all these years, he still knows me. He still knows I wouldn't be able to spend all my time living with my brothers. Because, as much as I love them, I need my own time, my own space to think, to breathe.

"I hollowed out a tree in the forest," I admit, moving a branch out of my way. "I go there when I need to be alone. The view, at sunrise...so breathtaking, I get up at dawn just to see it. And at night, when I use my ziplines and the stars come out? I've been here for years, and I still never get used to them."

Bae laughs, before stepping over a log, and helping me over.

"You in a tree," he mutters. "Why am I not surprised? Do you make cookies in it too?"

_Well that's an odd question. I haven't made cookies in...actually, come to think of it, I don't think I ever have made cookies, even before I was brought to Neverland._

"What?" I ask, raising an eyebrow out Bae.

Bae shakes his head, but I can tell by his eyes he's laughing inside.

"Nevermind," he replies. "You wouldn't get it. Now for my question-"

_Wait, his question? That's not how this game of his works. He asks me one, and I ask him one._

"Your question?" I repeat, smiling playfully. "I think it's _my_ turn."

"But you already asked yours," Bae points out, a mischievous grin on his face.

_What, when I asked what he meant by making cookies? That wasn't a question, I was just confused._

"That doesn't count," I reply, in mock exasperation. "And since when do you make the rules?"

"And there's another question," Bae replies, as he moves a branch out of the way for me. I duck slightly to avoid his arm, glancing at a footprint on the ground.

_Wait, a footprint on the ground?_

I look at it a second time, and I realize that there are more than just one set of prints. There has to be four or five. Some of them definitely aren't the Lost Boys' prints…

It's them. Emma, Hook , and the others. This has to be their trail.

"Bae!" I exclaim, looking over the tracks, just to be sure.

Bae notes something aside from playfulness in my voice, and he follows my gaze. His eyes light up as he realizes what they are.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Positive," I reply.

The tracks are fresh, and I don't know of any groups of about four or five boys that have come this way recently. Besides, at least two of the sets are too small to be any prints from the boys. No this is them. I can tell.

"Alright, let's go," Bae says, picking up his pace, as he follows the tracks.

For a second, I hesitate.

_When we find them, it won't be pretty. They may attack me for being Pan's. Or Hook might turn his back on me again._

Or worse, I have to leave. Or tell them why we need Henry, and that my brothers are dying. And that will be the moment when I have to choose. Between Bae and my brothers. Between saving Henry or my brothers.

_The choice should be clear but...I don't want to make it. Dammit, I don't want to choose between them. I just don't._

But I need to stay with Bae…

I rush to catch up, forcing the thoughts back. I will figure out what to do when the time comes. Until then, I need to stay with Bae. I won't let Pan get him.

"So, you and Emma?" I ask, trying more to distract myself now than Bae.

Bae rolls his eyes, but nods.

"Yeah," he says. "Her and I. Though to be honest, I might have trouble."

_Trouble? From Bae? No, Bae is one of the greatest boys I know, and I know a lot. Emma is lucky to have him, and if she doesn't see that, then she really doesn't deserve him. Bae isn't one to give his love away so easily._

"What happened?" I ask, half joking. "Did she get a good look at your face?"

_Wait, that's it? That's the best I can come up with? The boys are rubbing off on me…_

"Yeah, real mature, Jess," Bae replies, but he's smiling as he says it.

I shrug modestly, smiling again as we continue to follow the trail further into the jungle.

"No, the problem is that I hurt her once," Bae says, and his voice suddenly loses its playfulness. "And when I did, I regretted it instantly. But it was bad. It was bad, and I never got the chance to tell her all the things I wanted to. That I was sorry, that I never meant to hurt her-"

"That you love her, that your mistake has haunted you all this time," I finish, nodding.

I know exactly what he means. I felt it all the time. When I thought about Abby after Pan made me drink the water. After Hook was gone, and I never thanked him for all he did. When I got out, but never got the chance to tell him how much he meant to me. The things that were supposed to be taken for granted, but never were spoken.

Bae nods, before adjusting his hold on Henry.

_What could he have done? What could he have done that was so horrible that Emma would not want him in her life? That she would feel the need to shut someone like Bae out?_

Maybe she doesn't know him as I do. Maybe she doesn't know the truth about everything he went through here. About how he took care of me. How he was tortured for me, and nearly got himself killed trying to help me.

_Well...I guess that's something that I'll have to help with if I see them again. It's the least I can do. _After everything that has happened, and the choices I'm going to have to make...not right now, I won't decide now...but at the very least, I can lighten the load on Bae.

_Besides, Henry deserves to have both his parents in his life...except he needs to die for my brothers to-no, I won't think of that. Not now._

"Plus, there is the fact that the pirate has a thing for her," Bae adds, almost as an afterthought.

_Wait what? No...he isn't...no way...he must mean someone else…_

"Hook?" I guess, in surprise.

I almost expect him to laugh and tell me he's kidding. But he just nods, as serious as ever.

_No way...that's just...what?_

"As in Captain Hook?" I ask, trying to find something I'm missing. "The one handed pirate who tried to help me escape Neverland?"

And the one who is now my enemy. Because he can't see that what I'm doing is for my brothers. That I'm one of them now. That I am safe, and happy as a Lost Girl.

_What would he say if he saw me walking away from them right now?_

"That's the one," Bae replies, unaware of what I'm thinking.

_But...if he loves Emma...who is Henry's mother, and Bae is Henry's father...that would mean...oh dear…_

"So you're telling me," I start. "That the pirate who loved _your_ mother, is now pursuing the mother of _your _son?"

Bae nods, as if this is perfectly normal, but I can't wrap my head around it.

I suppose it's different. He's grown up now, and Hook hasn't aged, because of the curse. To them, Emma is the same age. But I still can't see it like that. Hook was like a father to me. I can't see him falling for the woman that my brother loves. It's just too weird…

_Then again, Pan is the one who became a boy again by giving up his son._

Something about that feels wrong. Like an itch...something I should see that's right in front of me, but I can't figure it out.

_Pan became a boy again by giving up his son...I suppose that's bizarre, but so is the pirate who nearly took Bae in loving the same woman._

But then again, Emma was able to attract both men. And I know them. Despite what happened between Hook and I, both are good men. If they love her as much as Bae makes it sound...she must be something special to win both of them.

And maybe...maybe Bae is right. Maybe she will be able to help. Maybe she will find a solution. One that doesn't involve killing Henry. I know Bae, he won't let his son die. But if Emma can find something to help us, to save my brothers, to give Pan more time so he can save them...maybe it will work. _Maybe I can find a way to save them. A way that doesn't force me to choose between my brothers and Bae._

I can feel something rising in me, and for the first time since I saw Henry, and realized he was a kid, I feel a twinge of hope. There might be something. Something to save my brothers, something to save all of them. If I ask them, if I help them...maybe they will help us get out of this, without killing Henry.

"Then let's find her, and make it up to her," I say, trying to suppress a grin. "Let's make this right."

_Let's make her see Bae as I know him. As the person with a heart of gold, who looks after everyone he loves, who went through so much trying to keep me safe from Pan. Who forgave me, because he had faith in me. Who showed me my sister, even after all these years, to show me he and Abby still believed in me._

And save my brothers. Now that I think about it, this might work. I remember Snow White and her prince in my dreams. They wouldn't leave innocent kids to die. If they knew about the younger ones, about Toodles, Slightly, and the others, they would help. I'm sure of it. That might have been the problem all along; in all the time I've seen them, I never got the chance to explain to them why we needed Henry. They wouldn't let me explain, because they didn't trust me. But now that Bae is here, he will help me. He'll make them hear me out.

_There might be something. Something besides killing an innocent boy to save them. Something else to ensure they are going to survive, besides Henry dying._

Uplifted by the feeling, I continue to follow the trail with Bae.

"Tell me more about Abby," I say, as we move past the brush.

Bae meets my eyes, and he nods.

"She's really good at what she does," he starts. "And she's really clever. Not just book smart, but smart in general. She was the one who actually found me a place to stay after I found her, and helped me get a fake identity since I technically didn't exist."

_That's right, he wouldn't would he? He wasn't born in the Land Without Magic. He was brought there by the shadow. Baelfire never existed in the Land WIthout Magic. That must have been why he took on the name "Neal."_

He goes on after that. Telling me things. Just details. Details about my sister. About how she likes apples and peanut butter. How she has yet to get into a car accident. How she spent years scouring for every source about Peter Pan, until she could find something she could use to find me. How she grew up into a beautiful young woman.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I have hope in saving my brothers. Baelfire is with me again, and I know that Abby is alright. Everything feels right. But everything is wrong.

_I can only hear about my sister. I can't be with her. I can only hope that the others will have something to help me save my brothers, but what if they don't? What then? Do I choose between Bae and the Lost Boys? Or do I wait and...I don't know…_

Was this what the Dark One's shadow wanted when it told me about Hook? For me to be so divided about where my loyalties lie that it tears me apart? I love my brothers, but I love Bae. Why do I have to choose between them? Can't I love them both, and not have to kill an innocent boy to protect one?

_No...no, I need to keep believing. Keep hoping that they will find something. I have to hope that they can. Because if they can't...I don't want to think about that…_

If Bae notices anything about my internal battle, he says nothing. He just keeps talking, as we follow the tracks. He just rambles, on and on, until we reach a clearing.

A clearing with a campsite. One that the Lost Ones definitely didn't build.

"Bae, this is it," I say, suddenly cutting him off.

Bae stops and pushes past the brush as we enter the campsite. One look tells me it's empty, but someone has definitely been here. Fresh tracks all over the place, cots and makeshift tents set up, ashes from a campfire. Someone was here.

Bae looks around before laying Henry down beside a rock, and running to check the campfire.

He doesn't have too. Even now, I can feel the presence. The presence of magic so powerful, so light, it's almost overwhelming. Just traces, but present all the same. I only sensed one kind of magic like that, and that was with the Savior.

_They're coming back too,_ I realize as Bae holds his hands over the campfire. _They wouldn't leave their camp alone like this, unless they intended on coming back._

Bae must realize the same thing, because he looks up at me and grins.

"Emma," he says, confirming what I've been thoughts.

"You were so close to finding her."

Bae whirls around and I look up to see a Pan emerging from the forest. The look on his face could not be more different from when the Dark One and Bae appeared. It's dark, and unimpressed. And serious. Dead serious.

_Dammit, I should have sensed his magic. I should have been on the lookout, at least, so I would know when he was free of the squid ink._

Instead I let myself get distracted. I let myself think that we were safe. That just because I'm a Lost One, he wouldn't come after us. I should have been ready the moment we walked away from the Dark One. Pan isn't about to let the only thing that can save him slip through his fingers. And he's not going to let me walk away with Bae. Not after he specifically told me to stay.

_I'm not going back with him, if that's what he thinks. If he thinks that he can lie to me, try to make me kill Bae's son, and just go back with him, he's never been more wrong. I'm never helping him, not after everything he's done._

I am a heartbeat away from drawing my knives when rustling catches my attention. I turn around, drawing my knives instinctively, to see about eight or nine of the boys emerge from different hiding places around the camp. Behind rocks and trees. All of them armed, and looking just as angry as Pan.

_Oh gods, they were waiting. They didn't have to track us down, they knew Bae and I would come here._

"You disappoint me," Pan continues, as the boys start to surround us, weapons drawn. "I thought I taught you better. Never break in somewhere, unless you know the way out."

Bae looks around, and automatically takes a step in front of me, as if to protect me.

I don't need protection. These are my brothers. They won't hurt me.

_But you abandoned them,_ I tell myself. _You left them for Bae. They don't know you planned to come back, that you came to Emma's camp for help. In their eyes, you betrayed them._

That's when I notice the look in their eyes. The glares, the hatred, not directed at me, but at Bae.

_Oh gods, I left with Bae again. I left with the one person they wanted to kill, because they thought that he was a threat to me. That he was corrupting me, and turning me against them. What must it have looked like, to wake up and know that once again I left with Bae?_

They aren't angry at me. They're angry at Bae. Because he is taking away their one chance at saving magic, and he's taking me away again. He froze their leader, knocked them out, sneaked into camp, took me and Henry. It's just like before, except worse. Because I've grown closer to them. Because they are my family now. It's no longer taking away a Lost Girl. It's taking away their sister.

_I have to stop this. Bae didn't do anything wrong. He didn't take me. He didn't know the truth about Henry, and that we need him. He just was trying to save his son and help me out. He brought me here, so that he could help us. So that Emma could help me find a way to save them._

"I'll remember that for next time," Bae mutters, as he pushes me behind him, ever so slightly.

The gesture is protective, but it's the worst move. I can see it in my brothers' eyes. To them, it's him pushing back is captive, trying to keep me out of their hands for as long as he can. To them, it's him holding me back.

As long as he tries to protect me, he only makes it worse, I realize.

"Oh, there isn't going to be a next time," Pan replies, as Felix moves forward, and lays down his club. "But don't blame yourself. Your father could have protected you out here, true enough. But then who would have protected Henry and Vin from him?"

Felix is silent as he scoops up Henry, and slings him over his shoulder. I see Bae tense, and I can tell that he wants nothing more than to grab Henry and run. But it won't do him any good. Pan won this one. He has us surrounded, and to be honest, I don't want to fight my brothers. This is one fight we won't win. I put my gloved hand on Bae's arm, and he looks at me. Ever so slightly, I shake my head, telling him to wait. To not let Pan get under his skin, and to not attack Felix to get Henry.

_Felix. He might be the only one who will listen to reason. He knows what's at stake here, he knows the truth about how our time is running out. What's more, he told me he doesn't want to kill Henry. If he knows what's really going on, how the others can help us, he might help._

I try to move forward, to approach him, but Felix looks up and meets my eyes with a glare, before his gaze snaps back to Bae and Pan.

_Come on, Felix. Not you too. You are one of the few people that knew that Bae never hurt me. That I was the one who got him out of Neverland._

"Talk about a rock and a hard place," Pan comments, before his eyes fall on me.

How Bae is still protecting me. And I haven't stepped away. If I was ever in any real danger from Bae, I would have walked away by now. I would be safe, with my brothers surrounding him. Instead, I haven't moved from his side. Which only makes things worse for Bae.

I slowly move away from Bae, and step towards Pan.

_They don't understand. We don't have to fight. They might be able to help us, if we just wait._

"Boys, listen to me," I say, stepping forward.

Every eye is on me, and I know I can't lose this. This might be my only time to make things right. To make sure they don't hurt Bae, but instead let him help us. To ensure that both my brothers and Bae are safe.

Pan, however, strides forward, and grabs me by my arm. The look in his eyes...it's angry. I know that. But angry and scared at the same time.

_Scared of what? That I'm going to call him out for lying to me? Or that I won't go back to the Lost Boys, now that I know how far he'll go to hurt me?_

"I'll deal with you later, Vin," he says softly, and I can detect all the emotions I saw in his voice.

_He'll what? He'll deal with me? Why? Because I left to join Bae, and I didn't want to stay with him? After everything he's done to me, lying, pushing me to kill, keeping Bae and Hook secret from me, he thinks that I'm the one who did wrong? Because I walked away from him. Because I dared to defy him, after everything. Because, gods forbid, I still believe in having a mind and will of my own here?_

"Deal with me?" I repeat, angrily pulling my arm out of his grip and matching his glare with my own. "Why? He's done nothing, and you know that. You lied to me. You lied to me about everything."

I want to go on, but Pan reaches out, and grabs me by my upper arm and pulls me away from Bae, cutting me off. He yanks me closer to him, and the look in his eyes goes from anger to fury.

"You'll wish lying was all I did when I'm through with you," Pan snarls under his breath, before he roughly shoves me down.

My training takes over, and I catch myself before I hit the ground, but just barely. Marcus steps over, and pulls me closer, one arm holding onto me, the other holding his spear out protectively.

_No, this is wrong. I'm not in danger. Pan knows that. He's only angry that he lost me, and that he lost Henry. That I chose Bae over him, like I always would._

But he's resorting to physical force. And he's angry. The last time I saw him like this was...was the night I told him that I knew about his son. And when he realized that my heart would not work.

_But it's not me he's angry at right now. It's Bae. He's the one who came in and told me the truth. The one who grabbed Henry, and would have helped me stay away from Pan. He's furious, but he's furious at Bae._

Suddenly, I'm not scared for myself. I don't care how he "deals with me." But Bae...he's going to hurt him. He's going to hurt him, for taking me and Henry.

For a brief second, something flashes in my mind. The image of Bae in the water, bloody and bruised, his shadow ripped out several times, just to get to me.

_I can't let that happen. Not again. I saved him once, and I swore that I wouldn't let him get hurt again. I won't let that happen, even after all these years, no matter how much I've changed._

But I won't be able to change Pan's mind. He's furious, and he's set on making Bae suffer. He's lied to me, just to ensure my loyalties were where he wanted. What will he do to Bae, just to make him hurt?

_No, I can't change his mind. But I might be able to change my brothers'._

"Boys, listen to me," I start, but Marcus looks at me and shakes his head.

"Don't," he whispers. "He's angry at you. I haven't seen him like this in years. Don't try to to cross him, he'll only hurt you."

I blink, looking at Marcus in surprise. He doesn't seem to be angry. Just tense. The same way the other ones are. Except Felix. Felix seems to be fixated on Pan and Bae. Or the other boys. Or the camp. Or anything except for me.

If Pan is so angry at me that the other boys are seeing it...gods, this is worse than I thought. He really is angry that Ieft with Bae. That I disobeyed him and went off with Bae.

"I will get my son back, no matter what it takes," Bae says, advancing towards Pan, drawing Pan's attention back to him. "And I'm going to make sure that you don't hurt Jess anymore."

I'm not sure if he's doing it to threaten Pan, or to take Pan's attention off of me. Either way, he's now the target of Pan's anger, and if it's as bad as Marcus made it sound...this is bad. Especially if the boys believe that he hurt me. To them, it will seem like he's still threatening me. That I'm still in danger from him.

Pan, however, doesn't look angry at the threat, like I expected. If anything, he looks confused.

"You're not getting it," he says, condescendingly. "That's not the problem. You got them, and I got them back."

For a moment, his face lights up with a kind of glee that...that I used to fear. The kind of darkness that I learned to ignore when I joined him in saving my brothers. The thing that always made me run for years, until I had no other choice.

"It's the game."

_The game. Has that been what this is too him? All this time, with his and the others lives at stake, and he sees it as just a game? He's planning to kill an innocent kid, and to him it's still a game?_

"No, my boy," he says, the glee being replaced by seriousness. "The real problem for you is that there is no escaping Neverland. No one gets off this island without _my_ permission."

Bae meets his glare with a smug smirk that could match Pan's any day.

"I've done it before," he replies smoothly.

He doesn't even glance at me, doesn't give any sign of the truth. He shows nothing that would even hint that I was the one who freed him. Who got him out, who trapped Pan's shadow, and got him out.

Even now, he's protecting me. He's keeping it a secret. Keeping the truth about how he escaped secret to keep me safe.

But Pan knows. He's always known. He knew Bae never hurt me, and he knew that I was the one who freed him, and got him out. That I was never the poor, brainwashed victim that he convinced all the other boys I was. Bae may save me from the other Lost Boys, but Pan? Pan's always known.

Pan looks at him in mock surprise, and for a second I think he's going to tell the truth. What really happened the night Bae escaped.

"Did you?" he asks, looking him up and down, before grinning triumphantly. "Look where you are now. It's like you've never left."

Bae stares at him for a split second, as he and I both try to figure out what Pan just said.

_How would Bae returning prove Pan's point? If anything, he's proven it's possible to leave, and that he's going to do it again. How does that...unless..._

"Are you saying you _let_ me go?" Bae asks, softly.

Pan only smirks, and I can tell he's enjoying the effect of what he said to Bae.

"I'm saying everyone's where I want them," he replies, calmly.

Bae turns and looks at me, and I can tell he's thinking the same thing as me.

_But...that would mean...is he telling the truth? That he let Bae go? Why would he do that? What could he have possibly gained by letting Bae walk free?_

Except, he didn't. He didn't let Bae go. I got him out. I trapped the shadow, and forced it to take Bae to safety. Pan wanted to kill him, to get to me. He didn't let Bae go. I got Bae out.

I'm torn from my thoughts when Henry stirs on Felix's shoulders, moaning softly.

_He's waking up. Oh gods, he's going to wake up, and see that something's wrong._

Pan glances at Henry before turning back to Bae.

"Something to chew on," he says, before stepping back.

Bae and I glance at each other, as I try to wrap my head around what Pan just said. He let Bae go. But he didn't. He was going to kill Bae. What benefit would he have in letting Bae go?

"You know where to take him," Pan says loudly, and Mat and Perrin step forward, grabbing Bae. At the same time, Felix starts walking away, back into camp. And Marcus starts pulling me away with him.

Everything is wiped from my mind as I realize what's happening.

They're taking him away. They're taking him away again, and they're going to hurt him. The same way they did the night that I got him out. They're going to take him, and they're going to kill him.

_No. No I can't let that happen. Not Bae. Not after all this time. Not after I've found him again. Not my brother. I didn't get him out so that he would get caught hurt again._

"No!" I shout, twisting out of Marcus's grip, and rushing forward. "No, Bae!"

Bae is struggling against Perrin and Mat himself, and Marcus grabs me around the middle, dragging me back.

_No, I won't let this happen. I won't let them hurt him. Not Bae. Not my brother. Not after all this time._

"Henry!" Bae shouts, struggling against his holders. "Jess!"

At the sound of my name, I twist like an eel in Marcus's grip, and rush forward.

"Vin!" Marcus shouts at me, but I'm already rushing forward. I've almost reached him when Pan grabs me by my shoulder, and pulls me back.

"Oh, don't worry," Pan says, calmly. "It won't be for very long."

I don't know if he's talking to Bae or me, but for some reason his comment fills me with the anger I felt earlier when I learned he lied. I see red, and the next thing I know Pan is on the ground. I'm not sure if I did it by magic or I just shoved him, but I'm free, and that's what matters.

_I won't let them take him. I won't let him get hurt again, just to get to me._

"Bae!"

Marcus catches up and grabs me around the middle, and has to half carry, half drag me away as I struggle against him.

"Let go of me!" I shriek, squirming in his grip. "Marcus, let go of me!"

But he doesn't. His grip doesn't break as he drags me away from Bae. Drags me away from the one person who gave me hope, who helped me believe there was some other way besides killing Henry. The one who showed me my sister again.

_This won't work,_ I realize. _They're going to take him, and they're going to take me. Bae sees that too. There's nothing we can do. Pan won this round, and we can't change that._

But there is one thing I can do. Something to let him know that it's going to be alright. That I'm still going to help him, no matter what happens.

"I'll take care of him!" I shout, no longer struggling as Marcus drags me away. "I won't let him get hurt. I'll take care of him, Bae, I swear!"

Bae is still fighting, but at this point it's more to make sure I hear what he has to say before they separate us again. I can see it in his eyes, he knows that he's not getting out of this.

Pan is saying something about resetting the board, and the game changing, but I tune it out. I tune out everything except what Bae is saying as they drag us away.

"Tell him I'm alive!" he calls, and I nod. "Tell him not to give up hope."

I nod, only struggling slightly as Marcus starts to pull me into the jungle.

_Gods, I'm losing him again. I'm losing him again!_

"I will!" I reassure him. "I'll tell him everything!"

Bae is almost out of sight as Mat and Perrin drag him into the other side of the clearing. Still, I hear him shouting at the top of his lungs as he disappears into the foliage.

"Tell him I will come for him! I'll come for both of you! I promise!"

Almost involuntarily, I start struggling again. I won't let them take him. I won't let Pan hurt him again. I almost lost him once. I lost him when I got him out. I'm not losing him again. I refuse to lose him again.

_And I'm not going back. I'm not going back to Pan and his lies while Bae is in danger. I'll go back, but only when I know that my friend is safe. And for that I've got to get out of this._

"Marcus, let go of me!" I shout, thrashing in his grip. "Let go of me!"

Marcus doesn't relent, but holds me even tighter. This only makes me struggle even more.

This is too similar. Too close to the night that I got him out. I'm being dragged away when I know that he's in danger. And he's going to get hurt, because he wanted to help me. I got him out once, and I can damn well do it again.

A face suddenly appears in front of me, and I only have time to register that it's Bryan's before he blows a handful of soft dust into my eyes. Instantly, I stop struggling, and black spots dance in front of my eyes like angry bees.

_Poppy dust. He used poppy dust to drug me._

"Vin, I'm really, really sorry about this," someone says, maybe Bryan or Marcus, as I feel my legs give out from under me.

I'm vaguely aware of arms catching me as I fall forward, and picking me up under my legs and back. I'm not sure who, but my sixth sense does for the first time in a long time, feel a dark, twisted presence right before everything goes black.

* * *

**A/N: **Augh, Pan had to go and ruin the beautiful moment!

Hey y'all! I know this chapter might seem shorter than usual, but there is an explanation. I started writing, and it ended up being over 12,000 words, so I had to split it up into two chapters. On the bright side, next chapter will be out much earlier than usual.

I also want to thank all of y'all for your support! I know I mentioned how I had moved, and I was blown away with all of y'all wishing me luck. You have no idea how much that means to me, along with your unending patience. So thank you so much, for your support, patience, and sticking with this story for fifty long chapters!

A special thanks to **Missrosedust1309, AsaraSahara, bbyypop, SoleySolstice, Fire Bean Flower, KellyMonster757, bright eyed writer, CupcakeLoopy, lightlags, **and **Nette Black Salvatore** for putting this story on alert, and to** BadWolf432, Lighthouse5, SpoilersAndMagic, xforeverxhortarux, bbyypop, SoleySolstice, KellyMonster757, **and **lightlags** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **sarah0406, LunaEvannaLongbottom, Lady Deebo, ColdHeartAngel, Female whovian, 8839, REDROBIN007, SilverFury01, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, mercenary2.0, UltimateFan-girl15, Charmedhpgirl, chinaluv, Fangirl Moustache, The Wolf Who Writes, Taeniaea, katerinamak2015, songwriter16, LyrisaLove, Friday1221, Ellimack1716**, NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, Shad0wfan, xxSwanFirexx, Rebbie, and all other Guests who posted wonderful reviews. Also, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy, **my amazing friend and beta reader!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on what will happen next, now that Pan has recaptured Bae and Jess are especially appreciated! **:)**


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: Hey y'all! I wanted to let y'all know before y'all got started: I have submitted this story for a fanfiction contest on inkitt (slash)fandoms. If y'all could go, and vote for this story, that would mean the world to me. You may have to sign up on the site in order to vote, but it shouldn't spam you or cause any other issues. So please, go vote. It's under the same name, summary, and cover picture. Thanks so much, y'all! Now, on with the story!**

* * *

My eyes fly open, as if I only closed them for a second.

_I'm laying down...why am I laying down?_

Slowly, I sit up, and look around. I recognize this place, it's only a little ways off camp.

_But how did I get here? I...I left camp. I was...I was with Bae…_

Bae. Oh gods, they've taken Bae!

I get to my feet as everything from tonight comes back to me. Bae came back. Henry...Henry is his son, and Pan never told me. We left his father behind, and went to find Emma and Hook. And...Pan came. He came and he captured Bae, and he had the boys drug me with poppy dust when I tried to get away from them.

_So why am I here?_

"You weren't going to find out the truth about Baelfire."

I whirl around to see Pan leaning against a tree trunk, almost lazily, even though his expression is neutral. Except in his eyes. They seem to have lit up with something I saw when I told him I was with him. Something thrilled, but also triumphant. Like he's won a victory that he has been waiting to win for a long time. He almost looks...satisfied.

_The son of a bitch. Why is he happy? I had everything under control. I was with Bae, we were safe from the Dark One, and we were going to approach Emma for help. She could have helped us, if she knew that the lives of every Lost Boy was at stake. And he couldn't have left it at that, could he? No, he had to take Bae, had to put him in danger, and take me back, just because I dared to walk away from him._

"Where is he?" I ask, bracing myself for another lie. "What did you do to him?"

"Oh, he's safe," Pan assures me. "I couldn't have you turning against me completely, now could I?"

The lying bastard...first he lies to me about Henry being a kid, he tries to hide me from Hook, then he keeps the fact that Bae is Henry's father from me. All of this time, manipulating and lying to me so I can help him with his dirty work.

Anger rushes through me, and I flick my wrist, ready to draw a knife. Nothing comes.

_What?_

I glance down, looking at my sleeves where I keep my knives. They're gone. Same with the knives in my boots and at my side.

_He must have had me disarmed when I was drugged. The bastard. First he takes Bae, drugs me, now this?_

For some reason, the idea that he had me looked over, and disarmed me when I was vulnerable scares me. It feels wrong, like he invaded my privacy. I understand why he did it, if he didn't want me to attack him, but he could have had the decency to do it when I was awake.

_What am I saying, this is Pan. He has no decency._

Pan smirks as he sees that I've realized I've been disarmed. He sees what I have. He got me when I was vulnerable. He took something when I was helpless, and the bastard enjoys it. He enjoys that he took something from me, just because he could, because I was down.

"At least, that was the original plan," he continues, standing straighter, and starting to move towards me. "I was going to send you to do something. Maybe spy on the Savior and her little group. Maybe tell the mermaids to stay away. As soon as I felt Baelfire returning to Neverland, I was ready to move you out of the way."

So he knew all along. He knew Bae was coming. He knew that Bae was Henry's father the whole time, and once again, he was ready to manipulate me to have his way. So that I would still be oblivious to the fact that the boy I was trying to save was the son of the boy I once loved like a brother. Whom I still love like a brother.

This doesn't surprise me. Not anymore. All things considered, the fact that Pan was planning to keep me from knowing really isn't the worst thing he's done to me. The worst thing was how he lied to me in the first place.

"But then you came back from your walk to the jungle," Pan continues when I don't say anything. "You came, saying how you saw the pirate. I'll admit, at the moment, I was terrified. I thought I had lost you. That you were going to make good on your threat to leave with the others, once you found out the truth. But instead, you did the opposite. You told me that you were with me. That seeing the pirate only made your resolve stronger."

He's right in front of me, and I haven't moved. Why should I? After all he's done, after everything that has happened, why should I back down? He lied to me. He betrayed me. Why should I back down from him, when he's the one who has hurt me?

_But if what he's saying is true...oh gods, I think I see where this is going._

Hook rejected me because I joined the Lost Ones. Because I made the decision that I was going to save my brothers, because I loved them. Because Hook didn't understand how much I depended on, how much I love my brothers. And I told Pan this. I told him that Hook's rejection only made me see that we had to save them. That we had to save them, no matter the cost.

"You thought Bae was going to do the same," I say, looking him in the eye. "That he would reject me, because I joined you."

Pan blinks, as if surprised that I caught on so fast, but he quickly covers it up with a smirk.

I shake my head, but I don't take my eyes off of him. He wanted to make my resolve even stronger. He thought Bae would reject me, and I would only cling to my brothers even more.

_That was why he had me stay when he realized Bae was coming, _I realize. _When Felix came back, it must have been to tell him that Bae was on his way. But instead of moving me, he wanted me to stay, so that Bae would turn his back on me, just as Hook did._

But he didn't understand. He didn't realize that what Bae and I had was too deep for that. That Bae kept his promise to me, but he still was rational enough to realize that I needed the Lost Boys as much as they needed me. And, even though he hates Pan, and what he does, he still had faith in me, that I would not end up like Pan. That I would try to be a good person, to be the girl who got him out of Neverland.

_His plan backfired on him. He thought he was going to make my resolve stronger. Instead, he tore it all apart when I learned the truth._

But that isn't the most infuriating thing. The thing that makes me angry the most is how he thought he could play me. How he wanted to manipulate me even further, make my resolve to help him stronger by using the people I love.

Despite everything that's going on, him dying, the Lost Boys dying, the others searching to get Henry back, he was trying to manipulate me for his game. He still was trying to use me, push me. Just as he was when he didn't tell me that Henry was a kid.

"You're sick," I say. "Do you know that? You lie to me, manipulate me, make it all seem like a game...Pan, lives are at stake! _Their_ lives are at stake! And even though I swear that I'm going to help you, you still try to manipulate me and push me, just because you can. Well, Pan, I'm done. Do you understand? I'm done with helping you, and I'm done with playing your games. We are done!"

With that, I turn on my heel, ready to go back to camp, my mind rushing with different thoughts.

_I'm not listening to him, not anymore. I'm going to find Henry, and tell him his father is here, and Pan has him. Then I'm going to find a way to help him, to help Bae. Then...I don't know…_

"I hope you realize," Pan calls as I start to walk away. "That if you're done with me, you walk away, it isn't just me you're walking away from."

_He's baiting me. I know he is. It's how he works. The Dark One was right, he plays mind games, and I refuse to play them anymore._

"You walk away, Vin," Pan goes on. "And you're abandoning them."

This stops me dead in my tracks.

_No...no...that's...that's not what this is. I'm not abandoning them. I'm not leaving them. I can't, and I won't...but if I get Bae and Henry out…_

"You see that, don't you?" Pan asks, noticing my hesitation. "You may be fine with leaving me to die. But if you leave, then you are leaving them to die as well."

_No..he's not doing this to me. He can't...he can't do that...no, it...this is _wrong_!_

I turn around, and I see Pan, looking dead serious.

"Don't you dare," I whisper. "Don't you dare use them against me. Not like that."

Pan steps forward, and the look in his eyes has lost it's triumphant look. He glares down at me, and I no longer see the boy I played games with, and helped for the past nineteen years. I see the monster I ran away from for years and years. Or, perhaps that monster was always there, and I chose to ignore it out of my desperation to save my brothers.

"You are talking about walking away," he says, his voice deadly calm. "And leaving me to die. Do you think I've come all this way for you to just walk away? No. Not when we're so close. So if I have to use the others to make you stay, so be it, Vin. You promised me you would help me save them, and I promised you that we would save them all. But you forget that it's my time that is keeping them alive. If you abandon me, you abandon them as well."

It's as if someone pulled out my heart again and squeezed it. This is wrong. This is wrong.

_I can't abandon them. I won't abandon them...but if what he's saying is true...no, it can't be…_

I can't abandon my brothers. I won't leave them to die. But Pan is right. I did forget that in order to save them, I have to save him too. It was the cost of saving them. I have to save Pan to save my brothers. It's the only way. Without it, they die.

"Don't do that to me," I reply. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare make me choose sides."

Pan shrugs, calmly, as if my words mean nothing to him.

"I will do what I have to to look after our family, Vin," he says. "Our family, remember? I told you, when I brought you to camp the first time, that the Lost Boys were your family. So if you walk away, if you try to free Baelfire, you're only betraying them. I let it slide the first time, because I didn't think Baelfire would come back, but now? You help him, and you're turning your back on all of us."

Something about that seems to fit, somehow. I'm not sure what. What he said about his time, it seems to fit with what was bothering me earlier. About Bae being Henry's father.

_His time...his time that Neverland fuels...the magic fueling his youth because he...he gave up his son, Rumple._

Rumple...Rumple...as in, Rumpelstiltskin…The Dark One, and Bae's father. And Henry's grandfather.

_Oh, gods!  
_The realization suddenly clicks into place, like pieces of a puzzle. How had I not realized that? How had I not seen it? The entire time it was there, and...oh, gods, how had I not seen this?

Rumple, the name of the boy he gave up to become young again. As in Rumpelstiltskin, the Dark One. Bae's father. Henry's grandfather.

"You…" I mutter, looking up at Pan, still trying to wrap my head around this newfound realization. "You...the Dark One...you're his...his...Henry is your great-grandson!"

For a moment, I can tell this catches Pan off guard. The way he reacts, his slightly stunned expression, the surprise in his eyes.

But that's as good as confirmation. I can see it. I'm right. If Henry is Bae's son, then that makes Pan his great-grandfather. And he knew. He's known it this entire time. If he knew Bae was the Dark One's son, then he knew that Henry was Bae's son. All this time, he knew who Henry was.

The revelation is both stunning and sickening. I'm not sure if I'm dizzy or if I want to vomit. Pan drove Bae and his father apart, because the Dark One considered killing Henry. But now, I'm not so sure. If he was going to kill Henry, if he needed Henry dead to live on, he would have left Henry to us. He would have walked away, and let Pan use Henry's heart. Instead, he took a risk, and rescued him. Not the actions of someone planning to kill. But Pan? Pan knew all along. He knew who Henry was, and he was planning to kill him anyways.

"How could you?" I ask, choking on the words. "He's your great-grandson. He's your descendant. Your blood. How...why...he's your great grandson, and an innocent kid. And you still want to kill him?"

Pan's eyes have lost whatever satisfaction was in them. Instead, it's replaced by a cold, calculating hardness, and for a second, I see a resemblance between him and the man his son grew up to be.

_He abandoned his son, and his son became the Dark One. His son abandoned Bae, and he saved my life. And had Henry. And Henry? Henry is just a good kid. An innocent kid. He doesn't deserve this, I know that._

This, the lies, everything. It just never stops with him. I lived with him, worked with him for nineteen years, and I thought...I thought things were different. I thought that his concern for the boys redeemed him. That somehow, he had a saving grace in the Lost Ones. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

"He might be my blood, Vin," Pan says slowly, reaching out to touch my arm. Without thinking, I pull away. "But he isn't my family. Haven't you figured that out? When you become a Lost One, you leave your family behind. You forget about them, because they forget about you. You forget about them, and you join your new family. I gave up my son, and I found a family in boys who needed someone to love them. And you did the same. You left a family who forgot about you, and we took you in with open arms."

_Once, in the past nineteen years, I might have believed him. I might have accepted that my family might move on and forget about me, even if I would never forget about them._

But he's wrong. He has never been more wrong. Because Bae gave me proof. Abby never forgot about me. She still hasn't forgotten about me. She believes in me, she's waiting for me. She hasn't forgotten me. And I never forgot about her, or left her behind. I came here to save here, and I ended up staying. I didn't leave her behind, I put her first.

"We both know that's a lie," I almost snarl. "Don't think that I've forgotten how you 'accepted' me. Or how you welcome the Boys into your family. You took them from their families, and convinced them that they were better off with you. You tried to do the same for me, except you never could. And it still doesn't change the fact that you are now planning to kill your own great-grandson, whether you see him as your family or not!"

I realize that my hands are clenched into fists so tight they're nearly bleeding, and I have to force myself to release them.

_I'm not afraid of him. But I hate him. I hate him so much. Bae, Henry, the lies, all of it. I hate him, and if he wasn't the only thing that is keeping my brothers alive, I would be tempted to kill him here and now, for all the pain he has caused me and my loved ones_.

But that is the problem: he's the only one who can keep my brothers alive, and for that, we need Henry to die. And it's wrong. The fact that we have to take an innocent life is wrong. The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I didn't turn on Pan when I first saw Henry was a kid.

And he's the boy's great-grandfather. And he still wants to kill him. He wants to kill his own great grandson, so that my brothers can live. He gave his son up for youth, now he is ready to kill his great-grandson to live longer.

Pan shakes his head, as if he can't believe me. As if it is my fault that I don't see things his way. I have to bite my tongue not to snap at him, and tell him not to patronize me.

But then he looks at me, and his expression is almost...understanding. Like a parent explaining something to their kid.

"I made my peace with Henry being my great-grandson a long time ago," Pan says, his tone gentle and patient . "I made my peace, and I moved on. And that's what you need to do, Vin. Move on. Forget about Henry. Forget about Baelfire, like you did the pirate. Forget them all, and help me finish this. Let's finish what we started, and save our family."

I blink, startled by the change in his approach. He makes it seem so easy. That I can just forget all those years with Bae. All those times we saved each other's lives. That I can leave all that behind to save my brothers.

The scary thing is: I could. If it had been any other child, any other person, I would do it. I would hate myself, but I would force myself to choose a side, and I would stick with my choice. But not Henry. I just can't choose a side between Bae's son, and my brothers. That was the reason that I felt so free after Bae left; I didn't have to choose anymore. I didn't have to decide between my brothers or the family in the land without magic.

"Pan, I _can't_," I murmur fiercely, as my vision becomes cloudy.

_Dammit, why am I almost crying?_

"You know that I can't," I go on, forcing the tears back. "I can't pick a side. I can't choose between them. I just can't."

_So, what then? Do I just turn a blind eye? Let Emma and my brothers fight over Henry, and ignore the consequences? I can't do that either. I can't let my brothers die, but I can't let an innocent boy die either._

For a split second, I look into Pan's eyes, and I catch something. The same thing that I saw when I told him that Hook rejected me. He's happy about something, and I'm not sure what. What I am sure about is that it isn't good.

Then the spark, whatever it is, passes, and his expression is pleading and tender. His eyes are practically begging. And yet...it all feels wrong.

"Vin, we need you," he whispers, coming closer to me, not taking his eyes off of me. "I understand that you don't want to choose but...Vin, we need you to finish this. I know you hate it, I know you don't want to do this. Felix doesn't either. But we have to, Vin. I know you don't want to choose, but we need you too, Vin. There's no other way. You need to figure out whose side you're on. Ours, your family who loves you and cares about you, and who only want to protect you. Or theirs, the so called heroes who will abandon you as soon as your usefulness to them runs it's course."

His face is inches from mine, and...gods, it makes sense. It make so much sense. It makes sense for me to join the Lost Ones. Why shouldn't I? It may be the only way to save my brothers, the only way to make sure that they will live. And killing Henry...it might just be our only way. Our only way of saving the Lost Boys.

_Gods...I want to believe him. I want to believe that I can just leave it all behind, and see this through._

_But...the spark in his eyes. Bae...the lies…_

Wait...Bae…

Something he said, right before he took Bae...everyone is where I want them…

He knew Henry was going to be his great-grandson years before Henry was even born. He knew that his son was Henry's grandfather.

He took me from my home as soon as he found me to preserve me. So that I wouldn't age, so that I would be ready to help him.

But Bae...he came to protect the Darlings. He was taken years before I was even thought of. Bae claimed it was because Pan was looking for a boy, and I always assumed they believed Bae had the Heart of the Truest Believer...but what if it wasn't?

Pan knew he needed the Heart of the Truest Believer. He knew what he looked like. He knew whoever had the Heart of the Truest Believer had to be born of light and darkness.

Bae, the Dark One's son, and Emma, the Savior. But Emma...she wasn't born yet. She wasn't born, and after she was, she was sent to my homeland, the Land Without Magic. If Pan knew he needed the Heart of the Truest Believer then…oh gods.

He didn't take Bae because he wanted to defend the Darlings. He took Bae, by threatening his family. Just as he took me by threatening Abby. He kept Bae trapped, for years. But even after Bae betrayed the Lost Boys to the Indians, he didn't go after him. He ignored Bae for years, let Bae live in a cave alone, even though it was Bae that cost him so many of boys.

_Everyone is where I want them_.

Even when Bae gave me shelter, Pan didn't hurt Bae. He didn't come after Bae when Pan controlled me with the pipes. He came after Bae when he knew it would get to me the most. He took Bae and tortured him when he knew I would do anything to protect him. But he didn't kill him.

_What Bae said...about how Pan let him go..._

Even after I joined him, I still kept going back to Bae. Pan knew this. He always knew this. The mermaids told me so much. It was only when I started figuring out that Pan needed me for something that he took Bae. And did he hurt him? No, he only threatened to kill him. He only threatened to kill him. He gave me time to wait, to get over my fear, and put together a plan. He let Felix take me to see Bae. Bae...the chains that held him...they were six-pin tumblers. I barely was able to pick them. But we're on Neverland, and Pan swore I was never going back to the cage. So why would I need to learn how to pick locks? And why would I need to know how to pick that particular lock?

_Everyone is where I want them._

He only had to threaten Bae, because I had almost lost him once. He knew I would never lose him again. That I would do everything in my power to protect Bae, to make sure he didn't get hurt again. He only had to threaten to kill Bae, and what was the first thing I did? I helped him escape. I got him out. And, to ensure Pan wouldn't hurt him anymore, I sent him to the Land Without Magic. The land where Emma grew up. Where he would meet Emma, fall in love with her, and where she would have his son. Light and Dark. The Heart of the Truest Believer. Henry.

_Everyone is where I want them._

I back away from Pan, and I realize I'm shaking all over. I see it now. He _did_ let Bae go. He was planning on me getting Bae out. That was why he pretended he was going to kill him. He knew that if I thought Bae was in danger, I would try to get him out. But, it would have to be something drastic, or else I wouldn't believe getting him out of Neverland was the best option.

He played me. All this time, he played me, tricked me into getting Bae out. He didn't threaten Bae until Emma was a young girl. Just old enough for her and Bae to grow up, meet, and have a kid. But there was no way he could get Bae out of Neverland without Bae or me seeing that he was planning something. So he threatened to kill Bae, and I did all the work for him.

"You knew this would happen," I whisper, staring at him.

Pan blinks in confusion. He doesn't know. He hasn't realized what I've figured out.

I take a step back, looking at him, and for once I _see _him for what he is. Not as someone who was dying, and making a desperate ploy to save him and the people he cared about.

This is wrong. He could have taken the darkness from somewhere else. There are so many realms, he could have found some other form of darkness to have Henry. Instead he chose to preserve Bae until the right moment, just as he planned to do with me. He knew what he was doing the moment he brought Bae into Neverland.

"You let him leave Neverland because you _knew_ he would be Henry's father," I say, shaking my head, realization washing over me. "My gods, you _wanted _this! You wanted me to get him out. You wanted him to father Henry. You wanted it to be Bae, and you wanted me to be the one who got him out. That's why you made it look like you were going to kill him to get to me. You were manipulating me, using me to get him out so he would meet Henry."

All this time...he's been playing me. He played me to get Bae out, so that he could have Henry. He hasn't been searching for Henry. He was waiting for him to come, at the opportune moment.

_But if he did...why did he act like we were running out of time? Why did he act like there was nothing we could do? Why did he act like we had lost the Heart of the Truest Believer if he had already set the pieces in motion?_

"Why?" I ask, softly, not taking my eyes off of him.

Any patience Pan had is gone. I can see it. I don't know what he hoped to gain by taking me aside like this, and confronting me privately. But it hasn't gone the way he was planning. I wasn't supposed to figure out the truth about who Henry's great-grandfather was.

He advances towards me, and his eyes have that same gleam that they had when I had Henry. It's predatory. He wants me to make a move, so he can get the jump on me.

My blood runs cold, and I suddenly want to run. Because all this time, when I thought I was the one he trusted the most, the one who he didn't keep secrets from. But now I see the truth. There was so much he didn't tell me. I thought I knew everything, but really, I knew nothing.

However, I plant my feet, and force myself to stay and look him in the eye. I won't run from him, like I used to. I need to know. I have heard so many lies tonight, realized so many things that I had missed when they were right in front of me. Perhaps I always knew deep down, but refused to see them.

_But, if there's one thing I want to know, it's this. And I won't run until I know the truth._

I only asked why, but it's enough. Why the lies? Why act like we lost Henry? Why pretend that we were running out of time, when he was just waiting for the opportune moment?

"Why?" Pan repeats, his voice almost mockingly, as he steps closer to me again. "Why? You still don't get it, Vin?"

Without warning, his hand shoots out, and grabs me by my wrist. Instinctively, I try to twist out, but he holds on tight, holding up my wrist, forcing me to look up at him. And the look on his face...suddenly I feel very, very scared.

And I haven't felt that way since...since he tricked me into getting Bae out of Neverland.

_Why? Why am I suddenly scared of him? I have helped him, I have followed him for the past nineteen years. Why, after all this time, am I scared of him? He won't hurt me, not if he wants to lose the Boys. So why am I scared of him now?_

"You forgot, Vin," Pan snarls, the look in his eyes...it's twisted, and dark. Just like him. "You forgot what we were doing. You forgot what I told you when you were brought here."

That the Lost Boys were my family? That I would be the greatest Lost One?

_No...no that's not it...he wouldn't be getting upset about that. No, this is different. This is...this about something else._

"I told you the reason I named you 'Vin,' didn't I?" Pan asks. "I named you 'Vin,' because when gave yourself up for that little girl, you gave up everything. That's what you've forgotten, Vin. You've forgotten the reason you're called 'Vin.' You think it's because the Lost Boys see you as a sister, and they know you as Vin. But that's not the reason. The reason that we call you that is because it's the name I chose for you. And I chose it for you because, even if you forgot, _you still belong to me!"_

He shouts the last words in my face, and instinctively, I punch him in the stomach. The blow is enough to distract him, and I pull out of his grip, and back away. Every part of me wants to run, but I'm rooted to the spot.

_No...no, he can't be...it's been years. Years since he ever thought of breaking me. We both have known I was never going to, not after I accepted the Lost Boys as part of me. I accepted the name Vin as the name of the Lost Boys' sister. That's who I am. I'm their sister._

But Pan? He doesn't see that way. I don't think he's ever seen it that way. To him, Vin is the name of his toy. The name he chose for me to prove that he owns me.

_I should have seen it_, I realize. _I should have seen it all along. Pan treats everything as a game. To him, I haven't been beaten, because I haven't broke. I stayed whole, because of my love for the Lost Boys. _And to Pan, I've been ignoring the game. I've been acting like it doesn't matter, when to him, it means everything. And after all these years, he still hasn't forgotten. He never forgot.

Somehow I find my voice, and I force out the words that are lumping in my throat.

"Is that it?"

Pan seems to have recovered from the blow, and I'm ready to run the second he comes near me. But I have to know.

_Is that it? Is that the only reason he acted the way he did? Pretending to be my ally, pretending that he cared...was it all a lie, just to try to break me?_

Pan looks at me, and the predatory gleam still remains. It doesn't flicker and fade like it did when I first saw. It still it there, and that terrifies me.

"Of all the things I've done to break you, Vin," he says, calmly. "All the tricks I've had up my sleeves, there was only one that ever got to you, truly. Only one that made you hurt, but reconsider everything. And it wasn't when I tortured Baelfire."

What is he talking about? He did plenty of things to get to me. So many of his ploys actually worked on me. He threatened Abby, forced me to fire the arrow, forced me to dance to the music, made me leave behind the little ones…

_Oh gods…_

That was why he did it. He got Bae out of the way, and he would have broken me then and there. Except I changed the game. I chose to love the Lost Boys. I chose to be _their_ sister, not his. I chose to be theirs, not Pan's. It's like Bae said. I joined them, loved them, because I needed them as much as they needed me.

But Pan had gotten Bae out. He had set the wheels in motion. All he had to do was wait. Instead he acted like we were running out of time. That we were losing them. Why would he do that, unless it was to play me?

Those nineteen years. Years of teaching me magic and how to fight. Games of Capture-The-Flag and reading to the younger ones. He was doing the same thing he did to me the night Hook got out.

These past nineteen years, he's always known he was safe. He knew that he would just have to wait for Henry, and convince him to give up his heart. He knew that he had saved himself and the Lost Boys.

_This was never about me helping him,_ I realize. _It was about me getting close to the Lost Boys. Truly loving them, becoming one of them. So that when the time came, and Pan took Henry's heart, I would have to face the same choice I did when I abandoned the younger ones the first time. The same choice, but with higher stakes._

That's why he wants me to choose a side. To decide between the Lost Boys or Bae. He knew that I would want to choose Bae the moment I learned the truth about Henry. So he made sure that I got close to the Lost Boys. That I loved them as much as I love Bae. Because now, no matter how badly I want to help Bae, I can't leave them. I can't abandon them to die.

_This was never about me saving their lives,_ I realize my heart plunging to my stomach. _Not to him. It was about making sure that I choose their side when the time came. That I choose them when the it came time to choose Henry._

It was about making sure that I have no other choice but to kill Henry, because it's the only way to save my brothers.

And it worked. I can't abandon them, no matter how bad I want this to stop. There's no way I can leave them, no way that I can just let them die. I can't do that.

Which is exactly what he wanted. He never stopped playing the game. He waited for nineteen years, playing a move I never saw coming. I love the Lost Boys. And because of that, I can't choose Bae. I have to choose them. I have to do the thing he wants: choose their side. Choose to save him, and my brothers.

_If I want to save my brothers, I have to choose to kill Henry._

* * *

**A/N: **So Pan spent nineteen years, toying with Jess so that she would grow to care for the others. Even to me, that's pretty low.

I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but again, it is because it was originally over 12,000 words, so I had to split it into two chapters. But, yay! Early update!

A special thanks to **Pandora0814 **for putting this story on alert, and to **11\. Amelia Pond ****.16, Rainyday116, **and **ShadowSpade** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **sarah0406, mercenary2.0, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Shinonome Sakuya, GiraffePanda2, FurySaidtoaMouse, Lady Deebo, Taeneaia, ColdHeartAngel, Fangirl Moustache, 8839, savvystories, Gee Brittany, The Wolf Who Writes, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, SilverFury01, chinaluv, Female whovian, Charmedhpgirl, Elvira Silver, meguhanu, Friday1221, Ellimac1776, ShadowSpade, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, **NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, Anonymous, Blooper, and the many other guests who left reviews! Also, a special thanks to **annvar** for suggesting that I submit this story for the inkitt contest. And, as always, a special thanks to my friend and beta reader **Uncommon fairy**, who somehow manages her job, work at home, and other stuff and still finds time to look over my crazy story.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. And again, please, please, please go and vote for this story on inkitt. It truly would mean a lot to me. Thoughts on how Jess figured out the truth about Pan being Henry's great-grandfather, and the truth about Pan's plan are especially appreciated. **:)**


	52. Chapter 52

I have had moments when I freeze. Sometimes it's with terror, sometimes it's from shock, or surprise. Watching my father drive away while I looked on, realizing that I was going to Neverland and couldn't do a damn thing to stop it, hearing Pan declare that Bae would die. Everything seems to stop, and I can't breathe. My senses are cut off, and I can't feel, see, or hear. I can only replay what happened over and over in my mind.

This is one of those moments.

_I...I can't do this. I can't do this…_

It's my brothers or Henry. And that was Pan's plan all along. He must have realized as soon as Bae was out that I would rescue Henry the moment I learned the truth. So he played a long game. He convinced me that there was no hope, that he was desperate, to see if my heart would work. And then, after realizing that my heart wouldn't work, that his work to break me was going to waste, he decided to play a different card. He convinced me he was desperate, and that I needed to save the Lost Boys. He recruited me, made me believe that the only hope we had was to find the Heart of the Truest Believer. He pushed me closer to the boys, by making me believe that I could lose them, when he knew that Henry was coming all along. He had a winning hand, but he bluffed, so that I would be loyal to the cause of saving them.

_And now he's making me choose. He's making me choose between them. Gods, I can't do this! _

"Well, Vin?" Pan asks, not moving, as if waiting for me to make my next move.

I want to run. I want to run, and make it go away. I want to make it disappear. I don't want to choose between my family and an innocent life. I never wanted to make that choice.

"Pan," I murmur. "Don't do this."

I force myself to look in him in the eye, even though I want nothing more than to send him flying to the ground and hit him until he hurts as much as I do.

To him, this has all been a vicious game. He didn't care about finding Henry. He knew he would find him in the end. It was about making sure that I chose the side _he_ wanted me to choose. That's why he had me wear the mask, to keep Hook from recognizing me. That's why he didn't tell me the truth about Bae. _That's why he was so willing to listen to me whenever I was troubled, so quick to reassure me when I had my doubts. He wanted to make sure that I chose his side in the end. _

And I hate him. I hate him, with every part of being. But, dammit, I have to choose! I have to choose between my brothers, or Henry. Because even if Pan pushed me to choose his side, what I have with the Lost Boys is real. I don't doubt that. The way they leapt to my defense during our skirmish with Emma and her group, the way they danced with me, the way Marcus warned me that Pan was angry...that was real, I'm sure of it. And as much as I hate Pan...I can't lose them!

"Don't do what?" Pan asks, calmly. "Make you choose? Don't you get it, Vin? You made your decision a long time ago. You made your choice when I told you that we needed the Heart of the Truest Believer. You realized what we needed, you knew the cost, and you said yourself 'I'm in.' This was never about making a choice, Vin, because there never was a choice. This is about you figuring out whether you still want to honor that choice, or walk away and abandon us."

I realize that my palms are sweating, which I can't understand. How can I be sweating when everything around me is cold?

"Pan, please," I whisper, and my eyes sting as my vision goes misty. "Please don't do this. Don't make me choose between them and Henry."

Pan takes a step forward, and I want to run. I want to run, but I can't . I can't run, no matter how badly I want it. Because running would mean making my choice, and that would be to abandon my brothers. And I can't do that. I can't abandon them!

_I'm begging him, _I realize. _That's how bad it is. I'm begging him for mercy. _

And the worst part is that we both know it. I can see it in his eyes. He knows that I'm begging. He knows that I'm begging him to not force this on me. Because this is one choice I can't make. I can't choose between my family, and an innocent. And he's enjoying every moment of it.

Pan is now closer than before, and he's only inches away from me. Every cell in my body screams for me to run, or at least back away, put distance between me and him.

He doesn't look at all upset by my choice. On the contrary, he looks almost amused. Amused, and satisfied. Slowly, almost dreamlike, he raises a hand to my cheek, and his thumb wipes a stray tear away. The gesture is tender and intimate, and _wrong._

_Gods, he_ likes _this. He likes that I'm torn, because he knows what I have to choose in the end. Gods help me, I've always known which side I have to choose in the end. Because I have to choose my family. I always have to choose them, no matter how innocent Henry is, or who his parents are. _

But that choice still kills me, and he loves it.

"Do you have any idea how much you try my patience?" Pan asks calmly, as if asking about the weather.

Without warning, his hand that was touching my cheek grabs me by my chin, and his eyes suddenly flare dangerously, all amusement and calmness gone.

"I've been more than generous, letting you think about this," he almost growls. "I let you wonder if it was the right thing, I let you fret about whether taking Henry's heart is the right thing. Anyone else might have put you on the spot the minute you had your doubts. But I was patient. I was kind, Vin. But it's wearing thin, Vin. Either you stay and help us, or you walk away and abandon us. Make. Your. Choice."

He grips me even tighter, and I can almost feel a bruise forming where his thumb is. His eyes are fixed on me, waiting for me to answer. Daring me to say the wrong thing.

_I don't want to...gods, I don't want to. But I have too. It's the last thing I want to do, but I have to choose. Henry or my brothers. One innocent life, or the lives of my family. Bae's son, or my brothers. _

I open my mouth, but the words only get caught in my throat. It's as if my mouth is full of sand. I couldn't move my tongue, or force the words out, even if I wanted too.

_No, I can't make this choice...I won't...but I can't lose them. I can't let them die…_

I open my mouth, but the words I need to say don't come out.

I'm about to try again when a voice calls out from behind me.

"Pan?"

Immediately, Pan lets go of me, and forces a small, if false, smile onto his face as he looks at the person approaching us.

"Yes, Felix?" he asks, his frustration at the interruption clear under his tone.

Felix. The only one who might see reason, who might help me because he knows the truth. My only ally.

I turn around to face him, but he doesn't look at me. He is only looking at Pan. Normally, I wouldn't think about it if it wasn't so obvious how he was trying to avoid looking at me.

_Felix, come on. Don't do this. Don't listen to him the way I did. _

"Henry is waking up," he says, still avoiding my gaze. "I thought you should know."

_Henry. Oh gods, Henry! I need to tell him. I need to tell him his father is alright, that he's looking for his son. That his father still cares for him. _

Pan glances at me, and I can almost see how the debate inside him. Leave Henry to wake up on his own, and lose a valuable chance to help bring him to our side, or stay with me, and force me to make my decision?

"Right," he says, nodding. "I'm coming."

He pauses, then grabs me by my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. Involuntarily, I flinch, but I don't look him in the eye. I won't give him the pleasure of seeing how he's hurt me. I won't let myself be the target of his sick entertainment anymore.

"Think about what I said," he hisses in my ear, and I can hear the underlying threat.

_Make your decision, or else. _

With that, he walks away, as if nothing is wrong. I don't turn around, to watch him go. I remain still and silent, like a statue. Because I refuse to let him see how much this hurts me. How his words have gotten to me.

I played right into his hands. I knew that he couldn't be trusted, that he saw breaking me as a game. Yet I listened to him, I let myself believe that he cared. But now...I don't think he cares. I don't think he cares about them. Not really. To him, we're just toys, toys that he stole, and calls family, because he was too afraid to face his own family.

_But if that were true...why did he risk his life to save Toodles the night the Shadow attacked? Why put himself at risk for the sake of one boy? _

He was willing to risk himself for one boy, but now he will let another innocent boy die. And the only reason I can think of is because the others are dying. That's the only reason I can think of. The only reason I can believe.

I don't move until I sense Pan's darkness is back into camp. Until I know for sure that he's gone, and he can't hurt me anymore. Once I'm sure about it, I turn and look at Felix, who is still here. But still actively avoiding my eyes.

_Gods, why is he angry at me? For going with Bae? He can't blame me for that. He knows how much I cared...still care...about Bae. He can't be angry at me because I left with him, after learning the truth about Henry. _

But he knows. He knows the truth, what's really happening to our brothers. He knows that I don't like that we have to kill Henry to do it. So what must it feel like, to fall asleep, wake up suddenly, and see that I'm gone, our brothers' only chance of survival gone, and to hear that I was taken by Bae, the one whom he hates for "corrupting" me all those years ago? Especially when he knows that Bae wouldn't have to take me by force; all he would have to do is ask.

_Oh gods...oh gods, Felix...I'm so sorry. _

"Felix-" I start, but he still doesn't look at me. "Felix, I'm-"

His eyes suddenly snap towards me, and I forget everything when I see his eyes. They are filled with anger, pain, suspicion, betrayal. And it kills me. Because he is the one I can depend on. The one person I can confide in, and expect an honest answer, unlike Pan. And I've hurt him. I've hurt my brother without knowing it. And by remaining undecided, by not choosing his side, I'm only hurting him more.

"Don't," he snaps.

_Don't? That's all he has to say, is "don't?"_

What does he mean? Don't apologize? Don't try arguing? Don't say anything?

"Felix, listen-" I try again, but he silences me with a glare.

"I said 'don't,' Vin," he almost snarls.

I pause, and I almost do. I almost stop, back down. But I can't. I need to talk to him, I need his help. He's the one person who can help me here, and I need him to listen to me, because he's the only person I have right now. Pan's taken Bae away, Hook's turned his back on me. Felix is all I've got right now.

"Felix, listen to me," I get out, but Felix cuts me off again.

"Listen to what, Vin?" he asks, and I can tell he's been wanting to say this ever since Pan caught Bae and I. "That you're sorry? That you didn't mean to leave with Baelfire? Save it. Do you know what it's like, waking up and realizing that your best friend, the one person you've relied on, trusted, for the past nineteen years, is gone with the man who threatened to kill her on the last day he was here? Pan might have convinced the others that Baelfire tricked you, that he promised to show you a way to save magic without Henry, but I don't buy it. I know how devoted you were to him. All he had to do was give you his puppy eyes, and you would drop everything to join him."

_Oh gods, I never meant to hurt him like this. I never meant to leave, to abandon him or the others. I was just...I was just so sick of Pan, his lies, and how he played with me that I wanted to get away. I would have returned, I would have come back. I would never abandon my brothers like that. _

_Right? _

"Felix, it wasn't like that," I protest, but Felix just gives me a look of pure disgust.

"Oh, it wasn't?" he asks, sarcastically. "He didn't flash his puppy eyes at you then? Did he just have to show his face, and you were on your knees, begging for him to take you away? Or did you have to offer to give him Henry first?"

_Is that what this is about? How I let Bae take Henry?_

"Stop it!" I say, trying so hard not to let him see how his words sting. "Stop it, alright?"

He doesn't cut me off, and I look away, trying to figure out what I can say. What I can do to make this better.

"Look," I continue. "When Bae came, I was more shocked than anything else. Can you blame me for that, Felix? The last time I saw him was when he left, and for your information, he wasn't actually going to hurt me. It was the only way to get him out, without having to fight anyone. But now he's grown up, and not only that, I realize that Henry is his son! His son, Felix! I realized that Pan had lied to me, that he was playing with me again, and I couldn't handle it. Yes I went, but it was because I wanted to be away from Pan, not to leave with Bae. And even if I chose not to go, Henry is his son. I don't think I'd be able to stop him from taking his son back, even if I wanted to."

"Exactly," Felix replies, rounding on me. "You didn't want to. You never _want_ to. We have looked after you, helped you, loved you for years, and yet it's not us you don't want to hurt, or stop. It's Baelfire. It's always been Baelfire, ever since the beginning."

_So this isn't even about Henry. It's about me leaving with Bae. Leaving with the one person that he hates. It isn't about Henry, it's about me. _

I can't believe this. I can't believe that I'm hearing this. Of course I don't want to hurt Bae. I could never hurt Bae. But that doesn't mean I'm against the Lost Boys either. They are just as much my family as Bae is.

"Felix, just because I care about Bae does not mean that I don't care about you," I say, trying so hard to keep my voice calm. "I wasn't-"

"YOU LEFT!" Felix suddenly shouts, his face only inches from mine. "You left us, without a word, without warning, just because Baelfire was there. How do you think that feels, Vin? After all these years, all this time you and I have spent together, and you walk away the moment Baelfire shows his face again. How do you think that feels, Vin, you tossing away these nineteen years like they are nothing?"

I imagine it hurts. I imagine it's agony. But he can't be angry at me. Not like this. I left because I couldn't stay. There was no way for me to stay with Pan around, knowing the truth.

"I didn't do it to hurt you, Felix," I whisper. "I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to get away from Pan, and that meant going with Bae. And, yes, I also went with him because I was glad to see him, and because I hadn't seen him in years, but Felix, wouldn't you? If I had disappeared for years, and you thought you weren't going to see me again, wouldn't you drop everything to see me again? Because I would do it for you, without a second thought."

Felix looks at me for a moment, and I can see something in his eyes. Like he wants to reach out, to understand why I did what I did. But then it fades, and he shakes his head.

"You say it as if it's so simple," he mutters bitterly. "That you just needed some time away from Pan, and that was why you left. But that's not it, Vin. It never was. You've been like this, ever since you found out that the boy was a kid."

_Oh, Felix, not you too. Don't you go pressuring me to choose a side, like Pan. Because while I don't think you played me like Pan, I still don't want to choose. _

"You were so certain, so intent on getting the Heart of the Truest Believer," Felix goes on when I don't say anything. "But the moment that you saw that boy, you became different. Fretting, wondering if it was the right thing to do. At first I thought it was just who you are. That it's in your nature to be protective of children, like you are with the younger ones. But now...no, Vin. This has gone too far. I made my peace that the boy has to die, and you need to do it too."

The words are like a knife, stabbing me and leaving me to bleed. I trusted him. I trusted him to see my side, to listen to me. But he isn't. Why isn't he?

"I can't, Felix!" I cry, and everything that I've held back comes out. My anger at Pan, the pain of losing Bae, the joy and then sadness of seeing my sister, the sting of Hook turning his back on me, and the division inside me of Henry or my brothers suddenly lifts off me, and comes out.

"I can't choose, Felix! He's just a child. He's just an innocent child. I don't care that he's Bae's son, or that Pan planned this from the beginning. I don't care. I can't make peace with the fact that when I see him, I see one of the younger ones. I see me when I first came here, alone, scared, confused. But I want to, Felix, and that terrifies me. I want to make peace with it, and move on. I want to save you, and the others, but I can't. I just can't, Felix. He's an innocent child, and I don't want to hurt him. Yet at the same time, I just want to help, lead him down the path we planned, so that we can get this over with, and save all of you. Don't you think if I could make that decision, if I could make my peace with that, I would have done it already? I haven't, Felix, because I can't. _I can't._"

I don't know what to expect Felix to look like. Understanding or sympathetic, if I'm lucky. But not disgusted and angry, like he does now.

"I tried listening, Vin," he says, and his voice has everything he has on his face. Anger and disgust.

"I tried to give you time. I told you where I stood, and then I stepped back, letting you decide. But this? Leaving with Baelfire and the Dark One? Fighting to stay with him? No, Vin. I don't like that it's a child either, but I've made my choice. And it's that one innocent life has to be worth saving all of our lives. You don't know, Henry, Vin. You just know that he reminds you of you. But you know us, and I thought that we were the thing that you would save, that you would give your life for."

_They are. They are my family, and I would die for him. I was ready to give up my own heart to see it work. Does he remember that? Does he remember how I ripped out my own heart to save them? _

"I was going too," I murmur softly. "Remember? I was ready to give my own heart up. And I still am. If it would save everyone, I would give my heart up without a second thought, Felix. But it doesn't work. It doesn't work, and just because I can't be the one to save you and them doesn't mean we must pass the burden onto an innocent boy."

Felix looks at me as if I'm crazy, and shakes his head, as if wondering how I could be so stupid. I realize my arms are crossed in front of me like a shield, and I have to uncross them. I shouldn't need a shield, not with Felix. Yet here I am, fighting him.

"I remember, Vin," he replies. "And do you know what happened? I accepted it. I hated the fact that you were putting your life on the line, but I accepted it. And that was with someone I know, someone I care about. I know if it was any of us, you would do the same thing. You would hate it, but you would accept it in the end. But not with the boy. No. One boy that you don't know, that you know nothing about, and you are torn between him and your own brothers. Open your eyes, Vin."

And the knife is twisted, and pulled out, leaving me bleeding on the floor. At least that's how it feels.

How did it get like this? How did we go from playing games and kissing to distract each other to this? When did we cross that line?

I blink, and open my mouth, but no words come out. What can I say? I still can't choose, and nothing I can say will satisfy him. Just like it won't with Pan. I can't think of anything to say, and part of me wonders if it is even worth the try.

Felix takes a step back, and then runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"I don't think you realize how selfish you're being, Vin," he says, harshly. "We're dying, and you're worried about your damn conscious. Well, I'm sick of it. I thought you would figure out which matters to you more, us or you feeling a little less guilty. I was wrong. I saw it the second I woke up, but I should have seen it the minute you started voicing your concerns."

I was wrong about the knife being pulled out. It was still in there. It always was. And it just rammed me in the heart.

_I...it wasn't like that...I'm not...I can't…_

Felix looks down, sighs, then looks at me again, his eyes somewhat calmer, but the disgust is still there.

"I'm done, Vin," he says. "I'm done with the standing by, and and I'm done with waiting for you. I thought you would figure out that you loved your brothers, and that you wouldn't turn your back on us. I was ready to wait for you to make that decision. But not anymore. I'm done with you, Vin. Until you see figure out which side you're on...I'm done."

With that he turns and walks back to camp without another word.

_Done...he can't…_

"Felix," I call, and I realize how pleading my voice is. "Felix, please!"

He doesn't turn around. He keeps walking. Because he's done with me. Because he doesn't want anything more to do with me. Because I've betrayed him.

I had second thoughts about saving him, and our brothers. I realize that now. I had second thoughts about whether or not to save him and my brothers. I was thinking about letting them die.

The horror about that realization, the revelation with Pan...it's too much for me. I sink down to the ground, and I want nothing more than to scream. To let the agony out, to do something to make this pain go away. I just want it to end. I just want this division inside me to mend.

_I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted this. I want to save them. I do. I truly do. I have to save them. _

I can't let them die. I can't lose them. I can't let my brothers die. Even if Pan played me, even if he planned this from the beginning...does that matter? I can't let them die.

_But I was about to let that happen for Bae...for Henry. I was going to let them die, all of them, because I didn't want to take an innocent life. Felix, Marcus, Toodles...I would have them all die because I hated the fact that we had to kill an innocent boy. _

Felix is right. I was selfish. I was considering losing my family for a child I didn't know.

_But Henry is still a child. He's still an innocent boy. I don't want to see him hurt. I don't want him to die. He's so full of...light. Of life. Of goodness. He doesn't deserve it. But none of my brothers deserve it either. _

I know what side I need to choose. I know that I need to choose them...but I don't want to do it. I don't want to kill Henry.

_At what cost though?_ I ask myself. _You have lost Felix. Who else do you have to lose before you see that it's your family at risk? _

But Henry...he's just an innocent boy. I can't…he's Bae's son. He's...I can't kill him. But I cannot let my brothers die either.

Bae was wrong. I have changed, and it wasn't for the better. The girl I was, the girl who gave herself up for her sister? She's dead. She would never have done this. She would never considered killing his son. But I have too. Because if I don't, I lose everyone I ever loved.

_I'm sorry, Bae...I'm so sorry...but I can't lose them. I can't...I...I don't want too…_

I need to tell Henry. I need to at least do that. I need to fulfill my promise to Bae. Let him know that his father is searching for him, let him know that Bae's alive. Then...then, I'll have to face the inevitable. I'll have to choose. I will hate it...but I have to.

And I know which side I must choose. And once I do, I know there's no turning back. Pan is right, damn him. I made my choice the moment I agreed to give up my heart for them. I made the decision that I had to save my brothers by any means necessary.

But I promised Bae I would tell Henry that he was alive. That I would look after him. I wouldn't let him get hurt. Even now, I'll keep that promise. I won't let him get hurt. Not until that inevitable moment comes. And even then...I'll find something to make sure he doesn't hurt. It's the least I can do. I owe Bae that much.

No...I owe him everything. But he was wrong to put his faith in me. He should have walked away the moment he learned the truth. That would have been safer. Instead…

_Gods, forgive me. Forgive me Bae. But you were wrong. I am a monster. Unlike Pan, I haven't embraced it, so you thought there was still hope for me. But you were wrong. _

I realize that I'm on my feet again, and that my face is surprisingly dry. I don't think I cried, but I think I sobbed. Yet I didn't cry.

Perhaps, because I have no more tears left to shed.

Even though my whole body is shaking, I make my way back to the glowing campfire just a little ways away. I feel like any second my legs will give out from under me, and I'll fall. And I won't get up. I'll just lay on the ground, and pray for death. Because death would be easier compared to what I know I have to do.

But I can't die. I know that. If I could die, I would have been able to use my heart to save them.

So I continue walking, feeling so weak. Like I'm going to shatter. Each step feels harder and harder. I'm frozen inside, and there's nothing I can do. My body is moving before my mind, and I feel so numb.

I walk into camp, to see the others all sitting around. Felix is sitting by the fire, staring into the flames. But they are all silent. Because they know. They know that whatever celebration Pan had earlier ended when I chose to go with Bae. Even if he painted me as the victim...either I almost abandoned them, or they almost lost me. Either way, they have lost any reason they had to celebrate.

_How can it be that a few hours ago, I was dancing around this fire, laughing and feeling good? _

Some of the boys look at me, especially the older ones. Some look at me with sympathy, some with concern. I don't care. I don't feel anything anymore. I just need to carry this out. My last promise to Bae, before I kill him.

_Because Abby's sister, the one who sacrificed herself for her sister. The one who got Bae out of Neverland...Hook saw it before I did. She's gone. She's dead. Only Vin remains. _

Henry is still curled up asleep. I can't think of how that happened, except that he actually fell asleep while under the spell. He fell asleep under the spell, but instead of waking up, he still sleeps naturally. He's probably exhausted.

_And it's going to get worse. _

Pan is waiting by him, as if anticipating him to wake up. As if waiting to pounce the moment he opens his eyes.

But at the sight of me walking towards him, he looks up and stands in front of him, almost defensively. As if he suspects I'll walk off with our only chance of survival. Again.

I stop in front of him, but I don't try to fight.

"I'm not going to do anything," I murmur, woodenly. Gods, even my voice shows how I feel. "I just want to talk to him."

Pan looks surprised, but then as he glances from me and Henry, I can see him figuring out out. Realizing exactly what I would tell Henry, and why I'm woulds say it.

"I can't do that, Vin," he says, firmly.

Hard to believe that only a few minutes ago, he was taunting me, enjoying me being torn. But now...no, he's back to being our benevolent leader, who would do anything to protect us.

_But...he has too! He has to let me talk to him, to tell him, to fulfill my promise. I'm already staying with him, I'm still following in spite of everything that he's done to me. Isn't that enough? Haven't I've given him enough? I've given up everything to help him, I need to at least fulfill this promise before I truly make my choice. _

"Pan, please," I say, looking over his shoulder, at the sleeping boy on the ground. "After this, I'll do whatever needs to be done. I won't fight, I won't do anything. But please...please, just let me tell him the truth."

I take a step forward but Pan blocks me.

_No...no, enough. Enough. He plays his games, his lies...I'm giving up everything to help him, and he won't let me do this one thing. He won't let me fulfill my promise. He won't give me one moment, just one moment, where I can call myself a human being again. _

I see red, and I feel my magic rushing out of me, roaring angrily. Next thing I know, Pan is on the ground, and I'm rushing towards Henry. Marcus and the others have caught on to me though, and they're pulling me back, even as I thrash against their hold.

"Henry!" I shout, even though I'm not sure he can hear me. "Henry, wake up! Henry, you need to listen to me! Your father, he's alive! He's alive, and he's coming for you. He says not to give up hope! Henry, please, wake up! Your father is alive!"

I see the boy...Bae's son...stir, and for a second, I feel a small rush of hope that he heard. That he understood.

_For you, Bae…_

Then, I see Pan raise something to his lips out of the corner of my eye. I don't even have time to think of what it is before he blows a note.

The next thing I know, I hear it again. Haunting, beautiful, and intoxicating. I haven't heard it in years...yet I hear it now. The music.

Because even though I made my choice deep down...I'm still lost. I'm still torn. I have no idea what to do. Even after I fired the arrow at Felix...I never felt this lost before. All the other times, I was sure of myself, but now? No. I'm lost. I've been lost for a long time.

My brothers who were holding me have let go of me. I know why. They have started to dance to the pipes, just as they always have. Besides, they have no need to hold me now. Pan has done it. He's silenced me.

I look over at him, and his eyes meet mine. Once he did this to hurt me, to control me. Now he's doing it because this is the only thing he has left. The only thing he can do to me before I can fulfill my promise to Bae.

And it worked. Even now, I have to focus now to give into the intoxicating, beckoning power of the music. Pan has me now, and he won't let me go until he's sure that I won't speak.

_Well, he doesn't have to worry. The first time this happened, I fought the music. I fought to not submit to him, to not to let him control me. But if there's any truth in what I have figured out...there's no need for music. He's been playing me like a harp from the beginning. _

So I don't fight. I don't resist. I give in. I let the addicting, intoxicating melody take over me, and wash everything away.

I let myself get swept away by the music, and forget everything else. Time, worries, people, memories...they all become irrelevant. Everything becomes irrelevant, except for the music, and dancing to it's magical tune. To give into the beautiful, haunting song that only those lost can hear.

Because it's a balm. It's healing. I never saw it before, but it's true. When one is lost, they can't solve their problems. They are unable to move, unable to find a way to get out.

But this music...it takes it all away. It provides a sweet relief to the lost, and makes them forget everything. And I welcome it with my whole heart.

For one moment, a brief awareness comes over me, as I hear someone ask, "_You can hear the music now, can't you, Henry?" _

"_Yeah,"_ another voice responds, sounding as taken by the music as I am.

Then the voices fade, and for a moment, I'm aware of a dull ache inside of me. Then, the last thing I'm aware of before the music takes hold of me completely is that a pair of eyes are watching me as a solitary tear is runs down my cheek.

* * *

There were moments when Peter would watch his Lost Ones. Watch them dance, watch them fight, watch them run. Whenever he did this, he felt satisfied. He felt proud. When he looked at them, he would think about how he took them from the places they called home, and he gave them something better. He gave them Neverland. Endless dreams, never aging, never stopping. He gave them family.

And as he watched Henry dance around the flames, he couldn't have felt more overjoyed. He had thought that the boy would take time to crack, that he would have to try harder to convince the boy that his family was with the Lost Ones. The same way he had to with Vin.

But now, as Peter watched the boy dance, he any fear he had evaporated. All it took were the right words, the right expression, and the boy was his. The boy heard the music. He felt lost, and unloved. Without knowing it, Henry had submitted himself to Peter the moment he heard the music.

And it wouldn't be long before Henry started turning to them for looking the family, for the love he felt he no longer had. And then, he would hear that they were losing magic. That they needed magic in order to survive, for all the realms to survive. And the boy would rise to the challenge, eager to play the hero, just like his mother and grandparents.

In the family's desire to be heroes, they played themselves into Peter's hands perfectly. He couldn't have done it better if he tried.

The boy was his. And all it it would take would be some glances, a couple of lies, and the right push, and he would have the Heart he needed. He would live forever. He wouldn't die.

Peter felt the ecstasy almost overwhelm him, like the music did to his Lost Ones, when he saw something flash out of the corner of his eye. He looked over, and his eyes found Vin, dancing with the Lost Boys. Unlike the others, she wasn't waving around sticks, trying to create rhythm. Nor was she whooping or beating to the silent music.

She moved on her own, to the same beat as the others, but her dance was different. It was wild, like the others, but it was a different kind of wild. Not savage, but strange. Like a wood spirit dancing among wild men. While the others beat their sticks and danced in unison, her dance was fluid and graceful, different yet blending with her brothers' dance at the same time. For one moment she was a butterfly, flitting left, flitting right, the next she was graceful as a swan.

Peter found himself staring, no longer focused on Henry, but on the Lost Girl who danced in front of him. Her hood had fallen back, exposing her hair which seemed to catch the light of the fire. Her eyes were closed, and her expression was filled with rapture, yet sadness. Her eyes were half open, and the light reflected off them as well, sparkling. It took Peter a moment to realize that it wasn't her eyes that reflected the fire, but unshed tears.

At that moment, her eyes seemed to snap towards him, and for a second he froze. Even though she seemed more dazed than anything else, her eyes were sad, and broken, and accusing. He could almost hear her saying "_I hate you. You have done this to me, and I hate you for it._" Peter found himself unable to move under her glance, and watched as a single tear escaped, running down her cheek.

Then, as instantly as it came, her eyes became completely glazed over, as the music encompassed her once again.

She wasn't fighting this time. Peter could see that. Rather than fighting the music, she let herself get swept away by it. She had given up.

Peter's heart suddenly leapt at the revelation. She had given up. She had seen there was no way to win. That the only thing she could do now was help him kill the boy. She had chosen, and she had chosen him.

With only Felix sitting beside him, Pan had no worries about eyes watching him as he directed the music to pull Vin to the center, closer to the fire. No longer restricted with the others crowded around her, Vin continued to dance, but her movements were more free and graceful, now that she had room. Her face was now completely illuminated by the flames, and he could see every angle, every shadow that was cast as she danced.

_A wood spirit indeed_, he thought to himself in amusement. _Well, the Shadow did say that here she could be a goddess if she realized her full power. _

He had almost lost her. Baelfire had almost taken her away, almost turned her on Peter. He should have realized. She always did have a special attachment to Baelfire. It was why he kept the secret of Henry being Baelfire's son concealed from her. She wasn't supposed to find out.

Not that it mattered now. As he watched her dance around the flames, he could see it now. He knew which side she had chosen. Whatever Felix had said had done the trick. She was on their side now. She was on his side.

She had the choice between Baelfire and him, and she had chosen to save him. She allowed herself to submit to the music. She had given up. She broke. After all these years, all those games, he had finally done it. He broke her. She had the decision to walk away and she had chosen to stay. To help him with the boy. To kill Henry. To save him.

_No_, he reminded himself. _She hasn't chosen me. She chose the boys. Because she believes that she will lose them. If it was just me, she would let me die. But instead, she chose the boys because she believes that they are dying. She wouldn't choose me if I got down on my knees and begged. _

The thought dampened his good mood, but that didn't stop him from watching his Lost Girl dance to his music. Leaping and spinning, much as she had earlier this night.

After she had pulled away from him. After she had been uncomfortable with him, and pulled away. Because she would not choose him.

Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps she wasn't broken. Not yet. But that was alright. She was almost there. And he was patient. If that was one thing he had, it was patience. He couldn't do it now, not when he had to focus his efforts on the boy. Besides, focusing on breaking her might alert the boy, and that could not happen. No, first he had to take care of Henry, get his heart. Then he would see to it that she was broken.

And he would see her break. In the end, she would break. He would drag her to the edge, and hold her over until she snapped. And she would be his.

Not Baelfire's. Not the pirate's. Not the Lost Boys'. His. He had realized a long time ago that when she let Baelfire go, she still wasn't his. She was the Lost Boys'. Stupid girl. She should have learned. She didn't belong to them, nor did she belong to anyone but him. She was his, and he would see her break. She would realize the truth, that she belonged to him, and she would accept that. And she would do the one thing Baelfire swore she would never do. She would break. He would win, just as he always did. He would not fail.

Felix was silent, as he seemed to stare in the flames intently. Peter normally would have ignored it if his lieutenant wasn't so focused on staring at the fire, and not the girl who danced around them. Normally, Peter might have been concerned. He might have been scared that his lieutenants fighting would cause division, when he needed them united. But, not this time. It was Felix's leaving Vin, his anger at her that made her give up in the end. She gave up because Felix was angry with her. If Felix forgave her too soon, there was no telling if she would go back to her doubt. And Peter couldn't have that.

The excitement, the satisfaction that Peter felt right now...knowing that he had won. That in the end the game was his...it threatened to overwhelm him, and he was ready to give into it. He had won. Perhaps he hadn't gotten Henry's heart yet, but it would be his in the end. He had already won, and now that Vin had made her choice, there was no power in Neverland that could stop him.

The joy in his heart took hold of him, and he felt a sudden urge to join his boys, and dance with them. This was a celebration, wasn't it? Not celebrating Henry, like he had them believed. Only he knew the truth. This celebration was for him. Celebrating his victory. He would have Henry's heart. He would live forever. And when he had the full power of Henry's heart...well, then the fun would really begin. With the boys, with Vin…

Even now, before he had the heart, Vin was under his control, as long as she heard the music. Now, just under the music's spell, she couldn't fight him, she couldn't run. She couldn't pull away. When else would he get a chance like this, to take her when she was under his power? And he wanted to dance…

Peter slipped his pipes into his belt, and stepped forward to the girl dancing before him. The urge inside him took hold, as he grabbed her hands.

Unlike when he danced with her earlier, she didn't resist. She didn't shy away like she was afraid. Under the trance, she grasped his hands, and let him pull her into the dance with him.

Had she not been under the music's spell, she would have fled. But not this time. Because she was Peter's. Even when she did not see, she was his.

Peter grasped her tightly, savoring every second. This was one opportunity he did not want to miss, and one moment he did not want to forget.

He felt the skin of her hands in his, the heat of her body from her dancing. Her hair still caught the firelight, but her face was dry, all traces of the tear gone.

At a sudden, unexplainable urge, he stopped dancing, and pulled her close to him. She did not resist. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her, feeling every curve of her body beneath his fingers, the warmth of her flesh on his arms. His face bent closer to hers, and he inhaled, taking in her scent. She smelled like soil after rain. An odd scent, but one that suited her completely. He liked it.

His heart leapt as he took all these in, and something inside him burned. He couldn't explain what, but something strong and irresistible, an unquenchable flame, awoke inside him, and took over him. Wild, savage, _attractive_ thoughts flitted across his mind as he took in everything about her. Thoughts of what he had in his grasp right now. Under his spell she wasn't a powerful Dreamer. She wasn't a Lost Girl. She was a flame, and he wanted to catch it, and tame it. To make it his. To conquer it with his own fire that seemed to run through him, searing his flesh and bone as he took in the girl in his arms.

He bent down, his lips caressing her skin, and her body tensed. Peter blinked in surprise, looking at her. It seemed that the music held her tightly under it's spell still, but she wasn't completely helpless. Something inside her, that fire that he enjoyed watching, playing with so much, was still inside burning bright. And that fire would not let her submit to him that way. Not yet.

He hadn't had feelings like this since...since before he was married to Esme'. These feelings...they were familiar, yet different. He hadn't had them in years, and he had never thought they would come back again.

For a moment, panic froze him, and his grip on Vin slackened. As if sensing weakness, she pulled out of his grasp completely, and resumed her dancing around the flames. He was too lost in thought to go after her.

He had deliberately avoided these feelings for years. These feelings were dangerous, especially to him. These feelings, the fire inside of him, were not the feelings of a child. They were the feelings of a young man. They were a sign of growing up.

Peter felt himself backing away, no longer wanting to be close to her. He wanted to be far away. He wanted to be far away from these feelings. He wanted the fire inside him to cease, to fade. Peter's body reacted, before his mind, and he found himself sitting beside Felix, who was still focused on the other dancers, and not Vin. Peter was starting to wonder if that was the best option.

But to his horror, he found he _couldn't_. He found himself staring at Vin as she continued to dance. Except now she wasn't dancing because she had given up. She was still dancing, and her dance was different, but to Peter, she was no longer dancing because she heard the music. She was dancing to taunt him.

Petter could almost see it with every move she made. The silent implications behind them with every spin, every graceful bow, even if she didn't know she made them.

A spin: _look at me._ A leap: _see what you can't have._ Stretching out a hand: _but you want me, don't you? It's a shame that you can't have me. _Her head bowing: _Because having me would mean that you are having adult feelings. And a child can't have adult feelings. _

Even when she didn't know it, she was taunting him. She was teasing him with something that he wanted, but he was too scared to take. Because if he took her, if he gave into these feelings-

_Oh, stop it! _he chided himself. _Just call it what it is. Admit that what you feel is lust, and that it terrifies you. _

And it did. It terrified him. Knowing that he had these feelings, even though he was supposed to be a child. It meant that despite everything, he was still aging. His body was having urges that he could not suppress, and he wanted to give into them so badly.

But...if he was going to be honest with himself, this wasn't the first time. He had been feeling these urges, this roaring fire inside him, for a long time. When Vin came to camp, dressed as a Lost Girl. When they were playing Capture-The-Flag, and she seemed to glow as Marcus won the game. When she was almost protective of Henry, still defying him in her own small way. When he had heard that she had kissed Felix.

He had felt all of these things then, just as he did now. Now was just stronger. Maybe because she was vulnerable. Well, more vulnerable. That fire inside her, that fire that drew him closer, that brought on these urges, that burned as if to taunt him, was still inside her. He could not control her, he couldn't give into these feelings, even if she had submitted to the music. Because she wasn't truly broken. Not yet.

That still did not explain why he, Peter Pan, the boy who could not grow up, was feeling this...lust for her. Why now? Why was it so strong now?

_Perhaps,_ he thought, _because she is so close, but still out of reach. Or maybe because she has realized there is no way out of this. _

Or, it could have nothing to do with Vin. It could be the hourglass. He was running out of time, and he ad to take the magic slowly. Ration how much he could use to stay young and immortal at once. Perhaps this was one of the side effects? Since his youth was running out, his body was maturing without his knowledge, and it needed a target to channel his feelings. And he had chosen Vin.

The thought gave him comfort. It meant that all was not lost, if that was the case. It meant that he was running out of time. But he knew that. He had always known that. It just meant that it was becoming serious. Perhaps he had been too slow with Henry. He would have to work harder, push him faster. Who knew how much time he had left? Weeks at most. Precious weeks he couldn't afford to waste. The sooner he had the boy's heart, the better.

Still...if he got Henry's heart, and he did become immortal...what did that mean for Vin? His eyes fell back on her, as she continued to dance.

If Peter got the heart, if he became immortal...would he still have these feelings? These desires to take her, break her, and make her his? Perhaps he would. But, surprisingly, he was alright with that.

No, he wasn't just alright. He _wanted_ these feelings to continue. He wanted to break her. He wanted to put her under his control completely, more soundly than the music ever could. It was more than winning the game now, even though that was a part of it. It was a greater desire, a desire he had for a long, long time.

But he couldn't have it. Not yet. Not until he had the heart. After he had the heart, after he was secure in his immortality...then he could pursue her. Then he would not have to be afraid of losing control, as he had been moments ago. No, he would be immortal then. He could give into this fire inside him, and he would take her. He would have eternity to force her to break, to conquer that flame that kept her going. And then he would spend the rest of eternity, relishing in his victory, knowing that he had truly beaten his Lost Girl.

So he couldn't have her now. That was alright. He could wait, until he had the heart. If anything, this only made his determination to get the boy's heart even stronger. Because now he would not just take Henry's heart. He would take her as well.

_Keep dancing, Vin,_ he thought, as he watched her dance. _Keep pretending you are safe from me because you chose your side. You're not. You never will be, until you break. You should have seen it a long time ago. After everything I've done to keep you, to break you, you should understand by now that you're_ _mine._

* * *

**A/N: **Just when we thought Pan couldn't get any worse...

So, we have finally reached the end of **Nasty Habits**. It only took us what? Four, five chapters? To be fair, it's one of my favorite episodes, and it was kind of important to this story. I hope y'all liked it.

I want to thank all of you who voted for this story on inkitt. For anyone who hasn't, please, please, please go and vote for _Fading Away_ on inkitt's fandom contest. Tomorrow is the last day to vote, so please go, check it out, vote for it. Y'all are the best.

A special thanks to **AubriannaRose, HologramHoney, Authora97, Forever Love The Dark, TheLostPanGirl, impureevilregal, myharlequinromance321, liveinlegends, natasha . chityg, Thrill-Pair-All-The-Way, TheSarcasticAngel, ****Shadowhunts** and **jacksonwang**for putting this story on alert and to **HOAfan8509, ****Authora97, BreathItin, ****myharlequinromance321, ****liveinlegends, ****Thrill-Pair-All-The-Way, TheSarcasticAngel, ****Captain swan 826,** and **jacksonwang**for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **grapejuice101, Shinonome Sakuya, sarah0406, ColdHeartAngel, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Charmedhpgirl, Fangirl Moustache, katerinamak2015, scorpiongirl92, chinaluv, mercenary2.0, Giggles789, songwriter16, HOAfan8509, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Female whovian, 8839, ShadowSpade, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, my****harlequinromance321, **NeverlandDreamer, Anonymous, Anonymous helper, SuperFanNumber1, and all the guests who posted reviews to this chapter. And, as always, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy** my amazing beta reader!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Vin and Felix's argument, and Pan's view are especially appreciated. **:)**


	53. Chapter 53

**Warning: This chapter contains strong language and mentions of rape. **

* * *

I wake up lying on the ground, with a cloak over me for a blanket. I don't remember falling asleep last night, or someone putting a cloak over me.

_Now who would do that? Especially after my display last night? _

I can only guess that Pan lifted the spell from the music off of me, once he saw that I would be too exhausted to tell Henry about Bae, and I must have collapsed afterwards. But that still doesn't explain who put the cloak over me.

Slowly, I stir, aware of how sore I am. I guess I haven't danced like that in a while. Of course, the last time I danced, it was when I almost killed Pan and Felix.

_Ironic, isn't it?_ I think, as I sit up, and throw the cloak off. _The first time I danced was when I almost killed. This time it is because I almost let them die. _

I look around, surprised that most the boys are already up. I would have thought after last night, they would have been resting too. But, no, instead most of them are surrounding a couple of trees, as Perrin and Mat are climbing, clearly racing each other. None of them are watching me, or looking at me.

Part of me is relieved that they have left it alone, but another part of me is worried. Felix is giving me the silent treatment, that much is obvious. But what about the rest of them. Pan said he convinced them, but I'm not so sure. It's like Felix said. I left them. I hurt them without meaning to. I know them, at times better than I know myself. They aren't stupid. Most have them probably have figured out exactly what happened when Bae came, and that I wasn't dragged off by Bae and his father.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Will they shun me like Felix? Or will they pretend that nothing happened, and try to treat me as they usually do, even though I hurt them? I don't know, and the idea makes me sick.

_I lost Felix. Pan was never on my side. I'm alone in this. But if I lose them, if they see me as the monster Felix does...I'm not sure what I'll do. They are all I have left, and I need to save them. What I did last night was selfish, but going with him to see Emma, that was for them. I did it to save them. If they look at me the way Felix did, with such anger and hatred...I don't know if I'll be able to keep going. _

"Hey."

I look up to see Marcus sitting down next to me. He isn't wearing his cloak. Guess I know who was looking out for me last night, then.

"Hey," I reply, handing him back his clock. He takes it, and dusts it off before strapping it around his shoulders. "Thanks for the blanket."

"Forget it," he says, shrugging casually. "No big deal. You looked like you needed it."

He has no idea. He has no idea how this one act means to me. After everything that has happened, between Pan and his lies, and Felix and his anger, one small act of kindness from one of my brothers means the world to me.

"How long was I out?" I ask, looking at the sky.

It's still dark out. It's been like this, ever since Henry arrived. I suspect Pan is keeping it dark to throw off his family, but it still feels odd to always be in night. And it makes it impossible to tell how long I've been asleep.

"A while," Marcus replies. "You all but collapsed when the music ended. You pretty much fell asleep as soon as we set you out of the way."

Something about that makes me smile. Knowing that he helped me. That he still to the time to make sure I was alright instead of leaving me when I was exhausted.

_But how long will it go on? How long before he decides that I've betrayed him and everyone else as well? _

I look out of the corner of my eye, and I realize Henry is looking over at the boys, who are cheering on Perrin and Mat as they make their way up the tree. He's alone, again. It's as if nothing has changed.

To him it hasn't, I realize. He didn't hear me last night. He still doesn't know about Bae, or his family coming for him. He's still in the dark about all of this. He doesn't know how much everything has changed. How Bae is here, how I left to join him. He doesn't know.

Marcus sees who I'm looking at, and I can tell he figures out what's on my mind.

"Forget it, Vin," he says warningly.

I turn to him, and for some reason I glare at him.

_I don't know why. I'm on his side. I made that choice last night. He has shown me kindness when Pan and Felix refused to. Why am I angry at Marcus of all people? He should be the one I should be the least angry with. _

Marcus matches my glare with a stern look, his good natured humor gone.

"I'm serious, Vin," he continues. "I know you promised Baelfire. I know you told him you would tell Henry that he's alive. But Pan won't let that happen. The minute you try to reveal anything, he's going to be on you. And if you think the dancing last night was bad, think again."

_Wait, what? Is he warning me against Pan? Why, of all the things he could say to me, is he warning me to avoid Pan?_

Something about this seems wrong, but I can't put my finger on it.

"Marcus, what-" I start.

Marcus doesn't reply. He just grabs my hand and pulls it to eye level. Giving me a very meaningful look, he pulls my sleeve down. For a second, I look down at my arm, trying to figure out what he's trying to say. Then I see them. A series of blue and black bruises, forming a ring around my arm. From where Pan had grabbed me.

_What? I don't remember...I mean, he grabbed my arm a lot last night, but I don't think he ever grabbed me hard enough to bruise it. Not this badly._

"Those weren't there when we took you and Baelfire," Marcus says, seriously. "And I'm not so sure what Pan said to you. I just know that you came back to camp, you were almost hysterical, trying to tell Henry the truth, and you ended up dancing with the rest of us. Now these. And I only saw them because you shifted your arm when I put my cloak over you."

I meet his eyes, as I realize what he's saying. That I left, and the bruises didn't come from Bae. So they only could have come from when Pan and I were talking. If it could be talking.

_But if Marcus is pointing this out, what is he warning against? Telling Henry that his father is alive? Or crossing Pan again? To be honest, I'm not sure if that's possible anymore. I don't know if anything I've done since I joined- no, since Bae was tortured- has been me or just Pan manipulating me, just as he manipulated me to get Bae out of Neverland. _

"I don't know if you see it, Vin," Marcus continues. "But Pan is furious at you for leaving. I haven't seen him this angry since you left him tied to that tree. Felix...he's hiding it better than Pan, but he's angry too. They're angry that you left. They think it's a sign of betrayal."

I blink in surprise. I wasn't expecting this. Pan and Felix are usually good at concealing their feelings. They were able to conceal the truth about the Lost Boys dying this long. But now Marcus has seen them. He's figured out that they are angry at me, and why.

_Did my leaving really effect them that much? Enough that they became sloppy enough to show what they were feeling? Or was my leaving the last straw? _

I know the pressure they feel. The pressure that we're running out of time. We need Henry's heart, and soon, or else they are all dead. Between convincing Henry, throwing his family off the trail, and Bae's return, I know they must feel the pressure to save them. Was my leaving the thing that broke them?

_That would be assuming that Pan felt pressure,_ I remind myself bitterly. _He was planning this from the start. He hasn't been worried, he just pretended to so that I would buy his lies. No, he's mad that I didn't break, and went with Bae instead of staying with him. He's angry that I'm not his brainwashed slave girl. _

But Marcus said..._they_ think it's a sign. Not _we, they._

"But you don't?" I ask, looking back at Marcus, daring to hope. "You don't see it as betrayal?"

Marcus looks down, and I can tell he's considering his next words. He brings my hand down, but he still holds on. For a second, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, as if someone is watching. I look around, but see no one watching. Everyone is too focused on Mat and Perrin's race, as Mat starts to take the lead up the tree. Except for Henry, who is still sitting alone.

"I don't like that you left," he starts, quietly. "But I know _why_ you did. You weren't leaving us; you were just happy to see Baelfire again. And I get why. You and him were together for years. I think you would have come back when we needed you. I don't like it, but I understand why you did. Just as I understand why you want to tell Henry about Baelfire. But, Vin, you can't do that."

At this, I pull my hand back, and look at him sharply.

"How can you say that?" I ask. "You heard Bae last night. 'Tell him I'm alive,' remember? Henry thinks his father is dead. We know he isn't. Don't you think that Henry has the right to know that his father is alive, that he's looking for him? If he's suffering because he thinks that Baelfire died, shouldn't we put that to a stop?"

Marcus shakes his head, but surprisingly, he doesn't look frustrated, like I might have expected.

"You can't, Vin," he insists. "_You_ can't. Pan is going to be watching, making sure you don't try to get Henry back to his father, or help Baelfire escape. If you try to tell Henry, Pan is going to lock you in a cage too."

I pause, catching the slip.

_So that's where they have Bae. Locked in a cage, just like I was. That's where Pan put him. In my old prison. He must have loved the irony. _

"You made two promises to Baelfire last night, Vin," Marcus continues, oblivious to his mistake. "To tell Henry that he is alive, and to keep Henry safe. If you tell Henry, Pan is going to make sure you never see him again. How will you take care of Henry then? From a distance? The way I see it, you have to decide which promise is worth more: keeping Henry safe, or telling him Baelfire's alive. Because you can only fulfill one."

_Woah...I didn't expect Marcus of all people to have figured this out. Much less one of my brothers trying to help me find a way to fulfill my promises to Bae. I would have thought that they would do everything in their power to keep me from Bae. _

But Marcus is right. I can't tell Henry the truth, because Pan will be on me the second I do. Last night proved that much. But he still needs me to help persuade Henry to give up his heart. If I stay close, he won't blink an eye. He won't know that I do it for Bae, not for him. Marcus has given me a solution, one that works better than I could have thought.

"Marcus, thank you!" I say emphatically, reaching out and squeezing his hand. Again, the hair on the back of my neck prickle, but I ignore it.

Marcus smiles back and shrugs.

"It's the least I can do," he replies, before his expression becomes much more serious. "I know you're going through a lot. You try not to show it, but I can tell. I don't think Pan and Felix are being fair to you. You are already hurting at the idea of killing a boy. They don't need to hurt you any more. Not like this."

He gestures to the bruises on my arm. I shrug, before rolling up my sleeve, concealing the bruises.

"It isn't that bad," I say. "I've had-"

I trail off when I see a spear poke Henry on the shoulder. Henry flinches, before turning to the person, hidden in the foliage, standing up. Devon steps out, holding his spear, a mocking grin on his face. He says something that I can't hear, before jabbing his spear at Henry, forcing Henry to step back. I'm already on my feet as Marcus looks and sees the scene playing out.

_Just what I need. More trouble. I don't know what Devon is doing, but I do know he has no reason to pick on Henry. This is just bullying. _

Henry replies, and Devon swipes his spear at Henry, causing Henry to jump back to avoid getting cut.

"Stop it!" he cries, clearly unnerved by Devon's act. Devon only smirks.

"Devon!" I shout, marching over to the two boys. "That is enough!"

_I don't know what's gotten into him. Maybe he's mad about Bae, and he's taking it out on Henry. Maybe he's just bothered by all the attention Henry has gotten recently. Either way, it's ridiculous and uncalled for. Even if he doesn't like Henry, the fact that we need him should be enough for him to lay off. _

If Henry's shout didn't get everyone's attention, mine certainly did. The others have stopped their climbing race to watch how this unfolds. Devon looks at me, and just smirks. There's no sign of anger at me, just plain malice for Henry.

"Come on, Vin," he protests. "If he can't take _this_-"

He reaches out and pokes Henry on the shoulder again.

"How is he going to handle what Pan has in store for him?"

_Sadly, that's the point. He can't handle what Pan has in store for him. This has to end with Henry dying, but it's the only way it can end. But I'm not going to say that, and I'm not going to give Devon the pleasure of needlessly picking on Henry. _

"I said 'that's enough,'" I say sternly, ready to take his spear out of his hand if I have too.

_I guess this is the promise I'm choosing to fulfill_, I think absently as I step forward. _Protect Henry, not tell him about Bae. _

Devon only gives me a challenging glare that says "try and stop me," while Henry glances at a nearby branch, that was probably going to be used for the fire. Devon sees where he's looking, and gestures nods, daring Henry to pick it up.

_Right, this is getting out of hand. Henry shouldn't have to defend himself, and Devon shouldn't be goading him on in the first place_.

"Alright," I say, getting in between them. "Alright, both of you, stop."

Henry isn't listening to me. He bends down and picks up the branch, holding it nervously in front of him. Around me, the Lost Boys are muttering, softly encouraging the fight.

_Oh, damn, Henry, don't do that. He wants to fight, there's no way I can stop him from getting hurt, without humiliating him. If I rush to his defense, it makes him seem helpless, or makes him the target for more mockery. More opportunities for Devon and the others to pick on him. _

But at least if he stands up for himself now, he proves he won't tolerate people bullying him.

_No, I promised Bae I wouldn't let him get hurt. I'm not letting him get hurt because Devon decided that bravery is picking on a kid who can't defend himself. _

I feel a familiar dark, twisted presence, and I almost turn around. Devon, seeing my brief distraction, steps around me, and charges Henry before I can intervene.

"Devon, stop!" I order, ready to use magic if I have to.

But he doesn't stop. He swings at Henry several times in rapid succession, pushing Henry back with every swing. Henry is able to block each blow, and I can see that it isn't just luck. He's had practice with this. He's done some practice with sword fighting before. But Devon's blows do come close, at one point coming so close that Henry has to use both hands to block it.

"Not bad."

All of us turn to see Pan leaning against a tree, watching the duel calmly. I have to suppress an urge not to punch him for last night. Even though I've chosen my side, that does not make the fact that he played me, manipulated, and lied to me any different.

He walks over to the two, as Devon casually slings his spear over his shoulder. Pan glances at me, and I can see an eager glint in his eyes. One that I've learned not to trust under any circumstances.

_You know which side I'm on, you rotten bastard. And you know I can't tell Henry the truth without you separating us. And that still isn't enough for you, because I haven't broken. It will never be enough until I break. _

Pan turns back to Henry, the glint still in his eyes.

"But wouldn't it be more fun if you had real swords?" Pan asks.

_Real swords? Henry could barely hold his own with the branch, what makes Pan think he'll be alright with a sword? Even if one has a real sword, it takes ages to master it. That's why I prefer knives. _

By the look on Henry's face, he's thinking the same thing.

"I've never used a real sword before," he says nervously, as Pan approaches him.

Pan smiles good naturedly, as if this is to be expected. As if he isn't planning on killing this kid, but making him part of our family.

"This is Neverland," he replies. "And _you_ have the Heart of the Truest Believer. You can use whatever you want."

_No...no, he can't be saying what I think he's saying...once this kid tastes Neverland's power, he won't be able to let go of it. Knowing that his heart is soaking in magic like a sponge, and that it can be let loose. It can be addicting. Corruptible. The only reason I made it was because I didn't use it with Bae, and Pan taught me how to use it without being addicted. But Henry doesn't have the training or the time. _

"Pan-" I start off warningly, but Pan cuts me off with a glare.

_So what is this then? A test? He knows Henry is powerful, he doesn't have to make him see that he has magic. _

Pan is now behind Henry, and leaning close to him.

"You just need to believe Henry," he says, raising the branch up. "Close your eyes, and believe that you're holding a real sword."

I don't want it to happen. For a moment, I'm tempted to turn the stick into a sword, just so he won't have too. But then he closes his eyes, and I feel it. I feel the rush of pure and good magic. I can feel the wild magic of Neverland flow through him, and come out as pure magic. I feel it as the magic weaves itself around the stick he's holding, as it takes part of the wood's essence, and it changes.

And in Henry's hand is a real sword.

_The Heart of the Truest Believer. Such power...that was amazing…_

Pan is looking at Henry with a satisfied smirk, and I can tell he sensed it too. The rush of magic, and how it affected the object in Henry's hand.

If he wanted, Henry is probably more powerful than I am on Neverland. I'm a powerful Dreamer, but Henry? He has the Heart of the Truest Believer. He probably has more power in his little finger than me.

Henry opens his eyes, and stares in shock at the sword. I imagine that's must have been my expression when I learned how to use magic. If this is his first time, and he's already turning sticks into swords...I'm starting to see why Henry's heart is the only one that can work. Pan needs a heart that will channel Neverland's power through him. Mine won't work, because a Dreamer's heart still will help the Dreamer while inside another. But a Believer, they can place their belief in someone else entirely. Henry is the most powerful Believer, so he will channel Neverland's magic the best. All he has to do is believe in Pan.

All the other boys nod and laugh at this show of power, but Devon's expression is no longer smug. Only now he gets how deep he's in. Part of me feels sorry for him, another part is annoyed.

_He started it. He decided it was okay to pick on Henry, now he's taking the fall for it. _

He holds onto his spear, obviously trying to take a firm stance, but I can tell his confidence has been shaken. He's now on the spot, Pan definitely is supporting Henry, and now Henry is clearly the more powerful one. He knows this is a fight he can't win.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" asks Pan, encouragingly. "Go on!"

Henry doesn't need to be told twice. He only glances at the sword, before swinging at Devon. Devon quickly steps back, avoiding the blow. Henry swings again, and this time Devon parries the strike with his spear. Henry goes again. And again. Each time, he pushes Devon back further, his stance becomes firmer, his swings stronger.

The others are cheering him on. Even Pan is shouting encouragements. But I can only watch, trying to keep my stomach from churning.

_This is Henry. This is the kid who laughed at my story of firing the arrow at Felix. The one who called me nice., not like Pan. This is wrong. _

Every cell in my body is screaming at me to stop this. To intervene. I have magic. I can put this to a stop. I can do it, hee and now.

But I can't. This is what we need. We need him to feel like he's one of us, and this is one of the steps to getting him there. I made my choice. This has to be it. No switching sides.

Henry sword cuts Devon's spear, and Devon's face is nothing but surprise and fear, before Henry cuts what's left of his spear into two. Then he swings again, and this time he hits Devon.

_I've been holding back so far. I've let him fight. But this has gone too far. Neither boy should have gotten hurt. This fight shouldn't have happened in the first place. _

"Alright, enough!" I shout, stepping forward, as Devon bends down, holding his cheek.

Pan looks at me, and cocks an eyebrow. His expression tells me that he's more than pleased with this little fight.

_I'm sure he is. I'm sure he's thrilled at the idea that he just won another round of his game. hat he just manipulated yet another person into doing what he wanted. And I'll help him. I'll help him get Henry's heart. But I'm not about to stand by while one of my brothers gets hurt from it. _

I run to the two, and immediately go to Devon's side. He's still holding his cheek, but from what I can tell it isn't bleeding too badly. I turn to Henry, just to make sure he's okay. The stunned look on Henry's face says the same thing I've realized: this game has gone too far.

"I'm sorry," he says, sincerely. "I'm sorry. It was an accident."

Devon removes his hand from his cheek and glares at Henry. I know what he's thinking. That Henry embarrassed him. Humiliated him by beating him. Not that it was Henry's fault. Devon is the one who started. The one who tried to scare him by bullying him.

"Henry," Pan says, walking over to us. "don't you know the best thing about being a Lost Boy?"

Had it been any other situation, had this moment just slightly more light hearted, and I would call him out for forgetting that I'm a Lost Girl. But I don't. This is too tense. Henry, Pan, they treat it as if it's no big deal. But I know that it isn't. Pan pushed Henry to use magic, and it wound up with Devon getting hurt. And what is Pan doing? He is encouraging him.

Pan meets my eyes, and I can see him almost challenging me to say it. To correct him. Daring me to fight back. I only glare at him, and bite my tongue.

_I refuse to give him the satisfaction of manipulating me anymore. I may have made my choice, but he is not pushing me like this. _

Pan drops his gaze, as he picks up Henry's sword and hands it back to him.

"Never apologize," he says, a grin on his face.

He turns to the others, who are watching this scene with confusion. Had it been anyone else, Pan might have complimented them, but warned them to be more careful in the future. And then they would apologize. Not that we have too. It's just the decent thing to do. We are family, and if the fights aren't made up, they fester like a disease. What Pan is saying is not how we do things here. It's what he wants Henry to believe we do.

"Come on," Pan says, raising Henry's hand.

The others get over their surprise, and start to cheer and applaud. As if it's good. As if Henry hurting Devon is a good thing. Something that should be applauded.

I grit my teeth to avoid an outburst, and force myself to tend to Devon.

"It's shallow," I say, looking at the wound. "I can clean it right now. It's not bad, but it will scar if you don't get it stitched up."

Devon nods in assent, and I imagine a cloth with antiseptic on it. The others are still too busy cheering Henry on to even notice that I'm not joining them.

"This is going to sting," I warn him, and he nods again, before closing his eyes.

I've raised the cloth to his cheek when Pan turns around and sees what I'm doing. For a second, our eyes meet, and I see something flashing in his eyes. It's the same predatory look he has whenever I take care of Henry.

"Oh, come on, Vin," he calls, drawing the attention to Devon and I . "Leave it. Let it scar."

_Let it scar? Is he serious? He could heal it in a blink of an eye, and he'd rather let it scar? _

Before I can open my mouth to protest, Pan puts his arm around Henry in a way that's almost brotherly, and gives him a fond smirk.

"Let it serve as a reminder for him to not cross our newest Lost Boy," he continues.

Henry looks at him in surprise, noticing what everyone else had. A Lost Boy. One of us.

Only a few days ago, Henry looked appalled at the idea. But not now. Now he looks thrilled. Thrilled at the idea of being one of us. Thrilled at the idea of having a new family, when the truth is his own family is looking for him.

_This wouldn't happen if I had told him what happened with Bae. If I had told him his father was alive, that he was coming for his son. But that is the one thing I can't do. I know Pan will stop me before I can, and I can't protect Henry from a distance. _

But that does not mean that I will just stand by and keep quiet.

"That isn't fair, and you know it," I snap.

_It's only because we need Henry that I don't add that if it was anyone else, he would insist on healing them. We need Henry to like us. To want to save us. And as hard as it is to watch him like the idea of being a Lost Boy, Pan has done well. He's taken him a step further, a step closer to giving Pan his heart. If I point out any obvious favoritism, it could blow up in our faces. _

Pan grins, before teleporting from Henry to me. Instinctively, I back up, but I can't help but notice the look in his eyes. It's still that predatory look he had before. Without thinking, I imagine a knife, but keep it up my sleeve. Pan just smirks, and leans in close to me, his lips next to my ear.

"Tell me, Vin," he says, softly, as if the words are meant just for me. "Was it fair when you left us for Baelfire?"

His words are too soft for Henry to hear, but they still send a chill down my spine. He thinks that I'll be scared. That I'll just back away, that I'll struggle and scream like I did last night. But I refuse to back down now. I refuse to be a part of his game, no matter how much he has pushed me in the past.

So I just roll my eyes, and shrug like it's no big deal, before turning back to Devon. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that others are bothered by this new turn as well. Marcus looks outraged, and Mat is shifting uncomfortably. They see it too. That Pan's changed. He's becoming more and more obsessed with winning Henry over, and less concerned with what happens to us. The bruises on my arm prove that much.

"I don't know," I reply, purposefully keeping my voice just as soft. "Was it fair when you abandoned _your _son to become young again?"

Pan pulls back sharply, as if burned, and I can see that I got him. He clearly wasn't expecting me to bring that one up. Especially now that I know Henry is his great-grandson.

_Point to Vin._

I give him a smirk to match his own, before turning to Devon. Except he's not here. He was standing here a minute ago, but now he's gone. Some foliage at the edge of camp is rustling.

_Oh boy. He probably left to go mope._

"Devon?" I call, before following the rustled foliage. "Devon?"

I half expect Pan to call me back. To try to stop me. But to my surprise, he doesn't. I can sense he's looking at me, and again the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I sense the darkness stir as I go, but this is different. It's twisted, but different. It feels more like it's...coaxing. Like an insect trying to draw it's prey closer to devour it.

For some reason, his words from last night flash into my mind. "_You still belong to me._" Pan has made it clear he still thinks I'm his tool. His weapon to use against his enemies. I was a fool to ever think that he ever saw me differently.

I do my best to ignore Pan's gaze, as I continue into the forest to find Devon. I know that he started it, that he is the one who provoked Henry, and that Pan was right to help Henry defend himself. But I don't want him to be hurt. Not like this.

_I've already lost Bae and Felix. Marcus understands, but how many do I have to lose to save my brothers?_

Normally, I would try to find some sort of trail, but Devon has been trained with me. He knows how to cover his tracks. He's one of our best hunters, and he knows his trails. I'd be lucky to get a footprint. So, instead I'm reduced to picking his most likely direction, and hope that I get lucky. But seeing how my luck has been these last few days, I'm not that hopeful.

I sigh, as I wander, keeping my eyes out for any sign of my brother. I don't know what happened last night, after I started dancing. I remember the music, and that I embraced it. But after that, I don't know.

But something happened. Something with Henry. I'm sure of it. If he heard me when I tried to get him the message about Bae, he probably would have pounded me with questions the moment he woke up. But instead, he let Pan teach him about magic. He fought back against Devon. He was happy at being called a Lost One. I don't know what changed last night, but it's bad. It's gotten Henry to side more with Pan, to want to be closer to us.

_But that means he's closer to giving up his heart for my brothers. Isn't that good? _

I don't know. I just...I don't know. But I've made my choice, and I'm not changing it. Not now, not after everything I've gone through.

_But so much has changed. Bae being back...Abby...oh gods, Abby. What would she say if she saw me now? If she saw how far I've fallen? After all her faith that she's put into me, how would she react knowing her sister has given in? _

It's strange. When I was living on my own in Neverland, when Bae and Hook were still here, and Abby came in my dreams, I felt wonderful. I felt like I didn't need Pixie Dust. If I wanted, I could have flown anywhere on Neverland. But when I lost Abby, when I drank the water, it all went away. Neverland became my prison, my cage.

Bae helped me get through it, though. He taught me to survive, to get through today before tackling tomorrow. And somehow, somehow I didn't feel like flying. But I was happy. I was happy with Bae. Then I lost Bae, and it was like every wound I closed was ripped open. I hated it. I thought the emptiness, the loneliness would consume me. But instead I chose to be with the Lost Boys. To love them. I loved them, I looked after them, I cared for them. And it was only then that I started to feel like I could fly again.

_Now, that feeling is just...gone. Ever since Henry came. It's like I want to fly, but there's something inside me. Some sort of burden that's holding me back, that's holding me down. The guilt for what we must do to Henry. _

But if that's the price to pay...then so be it. It's better I live with the guilt than let my brothers die. It has to be better. Or else, I will have helped spill innocent blood for nothing.

I'm thrown from my thoughts when I see a set of footprints. Not just a set, two sets. One set is definitely weaker than the other set, and that of a grown man.

_A grown man...weaker...if he was drugged and one of the older boys had him...Bae! _

It's desperate. I know that. More than desperate, it's a prayer. But it's all I have. If I can find him, if I can free him...

_I don't know what I will do if I do find him. Or if I free him. I just know that I have to get him out. I don't doubt that he can handle the cage. He's strong. He made it all those years on his own, he was ready to face down Pan through torture and death. Hell, he was ready to come back to Neverland to save his son. He can make it in a cage. _

But still, I won't let him rot in my old prison while I walk free. He only wanted to get his son back. I was the one who walked away. If anyone should be in that cage, it should be me.

_So why hasn't Pan locked me in a cage yet? It would be the easier option than keeping me around? He wouldn't have to worry about me getting in the way, or switching sides the next time I see Bae? Why is he letting me walk free, when it would be easier to lock me away? _

I hear rustle of leaves, and voices talking in the distance. I'm getting close. Instinctively, I start slowing down, careful not to make a sound. If I'm right, and this is Bae's trail, then I know Pan won't want me to be here. Whoever is guarding Bae won't let him go. Better that I see who it is, and figure out what to do before I show that I'm onto them.

I see two figures up ahead, and continue to follow quietly. One is walking ahead, while the other has to use trees for support, holding his side.

I feel my heart sink as I realize who it is. It's not Bae. It's the prince. The Dreamshade is killing him. Even with the herbs I gave Hook, he won't last long. Unless he gets to the water, and soon, he'll be dead in a few hours.

The other person...it definitely is a man. And I could recognize that black trench coat anywhere. Hook.

_What are they doing? What are they trying to do? The prince is dying, that much is obvious. He shouldn't be on the move. He should be resting, trying to slow the poison, while someone gets him the water. That's what Hook should be doing, getting him the water. _

Should I help? I don't know. I don't want anyone to die...but they are my enemies. What's to stop them from taking me to get to Pan? Not that Pan would trade Henry for me. Henry's too valuable to him. He'd probably tell them to kill me if they took me hostage.

No, I won't do any good here. Hook's made it clear that if I'm a Lost Girl, he doesn't care what happens to me. I doubt the prince will be happy to see me either, even if I did help him all those years ago, when the curse hit. I approach, and I'm just asking for for more grief, and I don't need that.

_So why haven't they Ieft yet? _

I'm about to go, ready to turn and keep searching for Devon when I catch some of their conversation.

"-they wouldn't have had the chance to take Henry," the prince is saying, stopping in front of Hook. "We wouldn't be on this island, and I wouldn't be dying of Dreamshade."

"Fair point," Hook replies, before walking past the prince. "But at least you got the chance to say good-bye. Most people don't get that much."

His tone, the way he walks...he really means it. He really thinks no one gets to say good-bye.

_Then again, how often have I gotten that chance? I didn't with my mother, or father. Or with Hook. I got to say it somewhat for Bae, but I never said good-bye. Because that would be acknowledging that he was gone, that he had left. And I never wanted to acknowledge that. _

The prince turns to follow Hook, and I hear him give a dry laugh.

"You lost someone, didn't you?" he asks.

I see Hook hesitate, just briefly, just enough to show that the prince's comment is right. Then he looks up at the rising mountain, not too far ahead.

"This is where we ascend," he says, avoiding the question completely. "I'll go ahead, and throw down the rope."

_In his condition? Is he serious? He won't make it up the mountain, rope or no rope. I can count the hours the prince has left on one hand, and Hook wants him to climb the mountain. _

The prince looks up at the mountain, and I can see him look at Hook, before he continues moving.

"Was it your brother?" he ask. "Or that girl we met a few days ago at Tink's place? Jess, right?"

This time, Hook really does stop. He doesn't look at the prince, as far as I can see from this distance, but I can see that he's stopped.

_What? Why would he stop? For his brother? Or for me? He told me that he couldn't accept that I was a Lost Girl. Why would he still feel like he's lost me? He lost me ages ago, in his eyes. _

"How could I have lost her if I found her again?" he asks, his voice suddenly flat.

The prince shrugs as he starts moving again, with Hook following suit.

"I don't know," the prince replies. "You were fingering that necklace when you first came to Neverland. The one with the butterfly. The way you reacted when she appeared at Tink's house? It wasn't too hard to put it together. That she was the one who had had the butterfly necklace. And judging by your reaction, you thought she was dead. But then you realized she was a Lost One. That she works with Pan now. I think, even in your worst dreams, you never imagined she would do that. So, in your mind, you've still lost her?"

His words shouldn't sting the way they do. I know all of this. I know that I failed Hook. I know that I didn't act the way he wanted. I know in his eyes, I'm dead. That when he looks at me, he doesn't see the girl he met years ago. He sees a Lost One, who serves Pan. But it still hurts.

I shouldn't be following them. I should go back. Or at least look for Devon, before he runs into these two, or the rest of their group. I should return. But for some reason, I don't.

Instead, without thinking, I stand up straight, stride forward where they can easily see me, and I imagine Hook's hook in my hand.

_Why did I just do that? I don't know. I think after hearing all of that, knowing that it's all true...I can't just walk away. Just like I couldn't walk away from Bae, or from Henry, or my brothers if I wanted. Because, dammit, this isn't right. What's happening with Hook and I, with Pan, with Felix, with everyone, it isn't right. And if I don't do something about it, I am going to go insane. _

Rather than letting any of this show, I force a playful grin on my face, and hold up the hook teasingly.

"Looky-looky, I got hookie," I say playfully, twirling the hook around in my hand.

Both men whirl around, and if I weren't so determined to talk to them, I might have laughed. Both are surprised, but the prince looks more astonished that I was able to sneak up on them. Hook is also surprised, and looks rather annoyed when he sees his hook in my hand. But there's something else. I'm sure of it. The minute he looks at me, and his eyes meet mine, I can tell. I'm not sure if the look in his eyes is anger, disgust or...pity…

Now that I have a good look at the prince, I see something is wrong with him as well. He tries to lift his sword at me, but even in the way he holds it, I can tell he's weak. His pale face, the layer of sweat...he's worse off than I thought. He needs the water and soon.

"You two need to be careful," I say when no one speaks. "The Lost Ones are taught to use trails and tracks to their advantage. No offense, but finding you was all too easy. You're lucky it was me, and not one of my brothers."

Hook scoffs at the last part, and I shoot him a look.

_I don't care if he disapproves...no, that's wrong, I do care. That's why I approached them in the first place. But it would help if he didn't give me the cold shoulder every time I brought it up. _

I toss Hook's hook back to him, and he catches it with his hand. He doesn't even look as he fixes it back in place, not taking his eyes off of me.

"What are you doing here, lass?" he asks, and I notice an edge of distrust in his voice.

I brush the pain feeling aside, and shrug as if it's no big deal.

"For once, I'm not looking for you," I reply. "One of my brothers got into a fight, and it...it ended rather badly for him. I was looking for him, to see if he was okay."

I consider telling them about Devon, but I decide against it. They don't need to know that he's hurt. Or that it was Henry who hurt him. I'm not sure if I don't want to say for Henry's sake or for theirs'.

The prince opens his mouth to speak, but his face suddenly screws with pain, and he lets out a sharp gasp, his hand clutching his side. Forgetting everything else, I immediately go to his side, and bend so that I'm eye level to the area he's holding.

"Let me see," I say.

_I don't know what good I can do. I doubt at this point the herbs I gave Hook will do any good. But I have to see. I have to try. I don't want there to be any more bloodshed than is necessary. _

The prince gives me an uneasy glance, and I can see the indecision on his face. He knows I might be able to help. He's figured that much out. On the other hand, I am a Lost One, and I'm helping Pan hold his grandson captive. For all he knows, I can make things worse.

"I promise, I just want to help," I assure him, but I'm not sure what good it will do.

The prince looks at me, to Hook, then back to me. Without another word, he pulls up his shirt, revealing the wound.

My stomach turns at the sight, and I have to hold back the bile rising in my throat. It's deep. Almost down to the bone. Forget poison, infection could easily take him. Hell, that's probably helping the poison speed along, despite the herbs I gave Hook. Black streaks surround the wound, and are spreading up his body. Just by being close, I can smell something nasty from the wound, and some of it has an ugly green-brown scab.

_This isn't good,_ I think. _This isn't good at all. _

I imagine more herbs, like the ones I gave Hook, and immediately I tear them to small pieces, before pressing them against the wound. The prince grunts, and I can tell that it hurts. I'm not surprised. I'm fighting the infection, and the poison at the same time. It's bound to sting some.

I apply as much as I can, but I know it won't do much. Maybe buy a few more minutes. But still, those moments could be critical to whether he makes it or not. After a few minutes, I stand up, and let him roll down his shirt.

"It's the best I can do," I say. "I'm sorry, I wish I could do more, Highness."

And I'm being perfectly honest. I understand, Henry has to die to save my brothers. But that doesn't mean that others have to die as well. That they have to suffer because they just want to save Henry. Not when I can stop it. Not when I can help.

The prince actually laughs, and cracks a small smile.

"No one has called me that for a while," he says, catching my confused look. "Call me David."

David...I like that. It suits him.

_Hold on, what is this? Does this mean he accepts me? That he...I don't know what he is. Not an ally. Not a friend...so why is he being so friendly to me? Is he trying to lure me in? Gain my trust, so that I can lead him to Henry? But that won't do him any good. Not when he's hours away from death. _

"Alright, _David_," I reply warily.

For a second, I'm suddenly reminded of Sebastian, as he lay dying. How he begged for Felix, and when I couldn't bring his brother, he asked that I call him Sebastian. That he not die as a Lost Boy, but as someone free from Pan. I couldn't save Sebastian...and I don't know if there's anyway I can save David, unless I bring him the water.

"You should rest," I say. "The poison is already making it's way-"

He cuts me off with a wave of his hand.

"I already know I'm dead," he points out calmly. "I'm not going to spend my last hours resting. I'm going to try to help my family in whatever way I can."

Now that is something I understand. If I were in his situation, I would do the same to help my brothers. Still, he shouldn't be forcing himself to take extreme measures like this. Not when the water…

_Unless...he doesn't know about it. He doesn't know that he has the chance to be saved. _

_Because Hook, the only one who knows about it, hasn't said a word. _

I turn angrily to Hook, and I can tell he sees what I've figured out. He meets my glare, though, and does not back down.

"You didn't tell him?" I ask, more out of accusation and shock.

I don't know why I'm so concerned. Maybe because I saved David's life once, even if it was in a dream, and I don't want to see him die again. Maybe because I don't want to see anyone dead. But Hook...this isn't like him. He may hate me for joining Pan, and that I can somewhat understand. But I never thought he would stoop so low as to let his ally, his friend, die.

David looks at Hook and me in confusion, and shifts so that he his weight is against a tree he's using for support.

"Tell me what?" he asks, but Hook does not answer. He's only glaring at me, but there's a silent plea as well. For some reason, he does not want me to tell David the truth.

_Well, I will. If I can tell David he has a chance, then I will, no matter what Hook thinks of me. He may have turned his back on me, but I still won't let someone die to get back in his good graces. _

_How did I come here trying to fix things, and somehow ended making them worse? _

"That there's-" I start, but Hook cuts me off.

"Go ahead, lass," he says, almost tauntingly. "I'm sure he'll believe every word from the mouth of Pan's whore."

Every ounce of anger I felt for David, every worry that I'm making things with Hook worse is suddenly replaced with pure shock.

_Did he just call me...did he just say...did Hook just…_

I thought Hook couldn't say worse. That he couldn't hurt me more than he already has. That by walking away, he hurt me in the worst way. But this...I never expected...I never…

I look at Hook, who looks as stunned by his words as I am. But he's not sorry either. By the look on his face...it seems like he was thinking this for a while, but now it's just slipped out. But the tension now is so thick, I could cut it with a knife.

_Pan's whore...he called me Pan's whore…_

"Say that again," I murmur, my voice dripping with venom.

I meet his eyes, and now that the surprise has passed, I can see something in his eyes. A firm stubbornness. He has said it, now he's going to stick by it. Even David looks surprised by this turn of events.

_Well, go on then, pirate. Say it. Say it. Have I really sunk so low in your eyes? Have is it really come to that between us? _

"Lass," Hook says firmly. "I found you, and I was overjoyed to see that you were alive. But you joined _Pan_, lass! _Peter Pan_! The one who stole you from your home, who separated you from your family, who played with you like you were his toy. Yet here you are, dressed as one of his, calling yourself a Lost Girl. And all I can do for the past days has been asking: what happened that made her sink this low? What could Pan have done to drag her down this far? And the only thing I can think of is that Pan took advantage of the fact that you were on your own, and forced himself on you."

_How dare he? How dare he! _

I hear blood pounding in my ears, and I realize that my hands have balled into fists so tight that my fingernails have dug into my palms. Adrenaline is rushing through me, but I'm frozen.

Because each word is a blow. A twist of another knife, one different from the one Pan and Felix put through me last night.

_How could this man, the man who was like a father to me, ever consider that I would go so low? That I would ever consider letting Pan use me like that? _

"Don't. You. Dare," I snarl, my voice dangerously low.

But something inside him has snapped. I can tell he's held this back for a while now, and now that he's let one part out, it is all coming out. He's not going to hold back to make things easy on me, because he doesn't care about me anymore. He's turned his back on me.

"How long, lass?" he shouts, his eyes and face suddenly wild. "How long have the two of you been together? How many times did he drag you to his bed before you started going of your own free will? What false promises did he have to dangle in front of you so that you would continue coming? Are you still going, hoping he'll fulfill those promises, or do you just go for the pleasure of it? Or does he share his toys, letting the other boys have you when he's bored with you? Or has he convinced you that by lying with them, it brings you closer to your so called family?"

David is suddenly standing, and grabbing Hook by his shoulder.

"Hook!" he exclaims. "That's enough!"

But it's too late.

I see red, and something inside me roars with rage. Without thinking, I let my magic flow through me, and I imagine Hook pinned against the tree in front of me. And I hope it hurts him as he flies back.

How dare he say that to me? After everything I did for him, after everything I went through with him, how dare he reduce me to nothing more than Pan's slut, not so different from the one that my father left with.

"You bastard!" I scream, and I still feel the magic running through me. I imagine the surrounding vines binding him to the tree, and he lets out a small cry of protest. But I don't care.

"You think that I would ever be with _him_? After everything he's done to me? After he played with my mind like it was his playground, after he tortured Bae to get to me, after he locked me in a cage, and made me dance to his music? You think that I'm so weak that after all he's done to me, I would let him fuck me like a whore? That I would let him violate me even more, after everything he's done to hurt me, to hurt the people I love? Hook, _I never got the chance to say good-bye to my sister!_"

I don't know where the last part came from. I think it has been something growing in the back of my mind, ever since Bae showed me the picture of Abby. She's out there, and she has grown into a beautiful woman. But I no matter what she believes, I'm still trapped here. I still can't leave. And I never got the chance to tell her good-bye. Not when Pan's shadow took me, not all those times she came here in her dreams. I had put so much faith in returning, in making it home, that I never considered saying good-bye. Because it would be giving up hope. It would be saying that I thought I couldn't make it out of Neverland. The last time I saw her, Pan had tried to capture her, so I shut her out of Neverland to save her. It had been fast and desperate. And I never got the chance to tell her that I love her. To say good-bye. Because Pan took me from her.

I realize that tears are running down my face, but for once, they aren't tears of grief. They are of anger.

"You are just like him!" I shout, the words spilling out of my mouth without thinking. "You keep saying you aren't, but you are. You don't see what I've been through, you just see a Lost Girl, and you refuse to see anything else. You keep trying to force me to pick a side, to let go of my past, and choose you. And if I don't choose you, then _obviously_ I'm your enemy! Because clearly, I'm not allowed to care for you and the Lost Ones at the same time!"

Briefly, I'm aware that the vines are wrapping tightly around him. Too tightly. I see his hand go to his neck, but I don't take the time to think about why.

I came here to reach out to him, and he only burned me. Again. Just as Pan burned me last night. Why, just why, are they forcing me to choose a side? I already chose mine, and the other side is still fighting for me to change my mind. I never wanted to choose a side in the first place. I just wanted to save my family!

"Don't you get it?" I go on, vaguely aware of Hook's strangled gasps. "I never wanted this! I only want to keep the people I love safe. Why does that mean I have to choose between you and them? I don't want to pick a side, I want to keep my family safe. Why don't either of you see that?"

A hand grabs me by the shoulder, bringing me out of my rampage. I turn to see David holding my shoulder firmly, looking at me with a mixture of pity and fear.

He's right to be afraid. All of them should be afraid. Except for Bae...he was the only one who understood. The only one who didn't want me to pick a side.

"That's enough, Jess," David says softly. "Let him go."

_Enough? How can it be enough? Doesn't he know what Hook said to me? What he implied, what he made me out to be?_

I look back at Hook, and realize some of the vines have wrapped around his throat, squeezing tightly. Hook's hand is trying to pull at them, but that's useless.

_Oh, gods!_

Immediately, I imagine the vines pulling away, and Hook drops to the ground, panting and coughing. His hand is rubbing his throat, as he tries to get his breath back.

_Gods, I was killing him. I was killing him, and I didn't even realize it. I was too busy being angry, that I didn't see that I was hurting him. _

"Oh gods, I'm sorry!" I gasp, suddenly kneeling down next to him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-I thought-"

Hook shakes his head as he looks up to me. And I can see it in his eyes. The anger. The fear. I may have denied that I'm Pan's whore, but that's all he sees me as. He sees me as a monster. And he's right. I almost killed him because I was angry. Because I am a monster. I may not be Pan's whore, but I am a monster. I don't know which is worse.

Hook starts to move, as if to stand, and I move to help him up. But as soon as I reach for him, he snatches his hand away as if I've burned it.

_Well, isn't that what I've done? For all my insistence that I'm still good, even if I joined Pan, I still almost killed him. Haven't I proved him right? _

"I'm sorry," I whisper helplessly. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

Hook only shakes his head as he gets to his feet.

"You're living a fantasy, lass," he says, his voice hoarse. "Pan took everything from you, and he's trapped you in this fantasy. He offered you what you wanted the most: family. You took it without question, and you've been following him ever since. They aren't your family, lass. They never were. You're just their pawn."

_No. No, he's wrong. He's wrong. I chose them! I chose to love them. I let them into my life. I care about them, and they care for me. They always have._

But somehow, even as I look at him, I think about what happened last night. How I learned the truth. That Pan tricked me for years. That he had me playing his game by his side all along, just so I would help him. Pan played me for ages, and I never saw. And now...now there's this doubt raging inside of me. Doubt in the last nineteen years, doubt in everything.

What Pan did was an act, but what about everyone else? My life with them, the choices I made? The smiles on the younger ones' faces when I read to them, the older ones' eagerness to teach me a new game, Marcus' concern for me with the bruises on my arm. Are they all lies? All acts made so that I would be Pan's puppet?

_It can't be. It just...there's too much for it to be true. Too many moments, too many laughs, too many smiles for it to be a lie. It can't be a lie. It just can't be one. _

I can't breathe, but somehow I'm standing on my feet. Tears are still running down my face, but I don't care. I've cried too many tears to care. Hook and David are watching me warily, as I back away.

_I need to go. I just...I have to go. I can't stay here. Not like this. Not anymore. _

"You...you don't know me," I choke out, looking at Hook. "You never did. You don't know anything about me. About what I've done. What I've been through."

With that I turn, and I run.

I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where I'm running too. I just know that I have to run. That I have to get out of this place. That even if it's just for a minute, I need to leave and breathe again. Because it feels like I've held my breath for so long, ever since we found Henry, that I'm suffocating. And all I want to do is breathe again.  
I have no idea where I'm headed. My body is acting before my mind. And...I don't know what I'm feeling right now. It's like I've gone numb, because everything I could feel is with me right now. That I've gone numb with shock, because I feel too much.

_If I were to ever leave Neverland, _I think, _this would be it. I would take a minute, just a minute, to leave it all behind. All of it. Neverland, Pan, Hook, Henry, all of it. Just to be free. To not have to carry this weight, knowing what I'm doing and what it makes me. _

I realize I've suddenly stopped at a tree, and that my hand is reaching out to open it. I blink, recognizing the place.

This is where the younger one's sleep. Where they spend their nights. I stay with them sometimes. It's where I spent my first night in Neverland. It's where I met Toodles. Where I left him, and the others. Where I earned their forgiveness. Where I figured out how to get Bae out of Neverland.

This place...to me, it represents something real. Something whole. The tears I shed my first night here were real. My friendship with Toodles, that was real.

_I guess I need this. I guess I need something that's real now. Not created by magic, not manipulated by Pan, or the Shadow, or any force that has tried to push me into doing what they want. _

Taking a deep breath, I open the door, and walk in.

All of them are asleep. They danced last night, I remember that. I bet they're all exhausted. Unlike the older ones, they don't quite understand what's at stake. They just know we need Henry to save magic. They don't know that Henry has to die. That he has to die so that they can live. I can't stand that burden. I would never put it on them.

I silently creep past them, as they stir in their sleep. The dim light of a night light I imagined years earlier slightly illumines their faces, casting shadows across the wall. When I first came here, they were crying. All of them. Because they were alone. Because they missed their family. But then I stayed with them. I joined them, truly joined them after Bae left. It took ages but...they haven't cried since. Because I stayed with them. Because I had the choice of leaving or staying, and I chose to stay with them. For both their sake, and my own.

I stop at one hammock, it's occupant curled up contently under a blanket, clutching a stuffed rabbit I imagined when I started sleeping in my own tree house. Toodles.

He didn't want me to leave. He didn't want me to go to my own place. So I made him the rabbit, telling him that it was a friend of mine. And it was a quick friend of mine. So it would watch over Toodles, and if Toodles ever needed me, it would get me, so that I would know to come over. It does that, in it's own way. I enchanted it so that every time Toodles was hurt, alone, sad, or scared, it would send out a signal, for me to come and comfort my little brother.

Once upon a time, I could just imagine a solution, like that rabbit. I could just imagine something, and it would solve problems. I could make everything better for my brothers.

_So why can't I now? Why am I so powerless now? All I want to do is save my brothers, yet it feels like everything has spun out of control. _

I sigh, as I crouch down next to Toodles, and gently stroke his hair. He smiles, and stirs in his sleep. His face is so sweet. Angelic, really. So innocent. Like he doesn't realize what is going on around him. That he doesn't know that he will die soon, unless we get the heart we need.

Seeing him like this, seeing all of them like this...it gives me the comfort I need. It gives me reassurance.

Hook is wrong. He always was wrong. Pan may not care for me. Felix...I think he does, but he hasn't forgiven me for what happened last night with Bae. But these boys, these little ones who have brought me so much joy...they are real.

In all my time here, I have never felt more joy than when I helped them. When I made them smile. Maybe that's why I've grown so attached to Henry. Because making him smile and laugh is like helping my little brothers.

What they have given me, what they have done for me without knowing it...it is real. If I had to second guess all but one thing, it would be this. I could doubt Pan, the Shadow, my magic, my treehouse, my knives. But I could never doubt them. That this bond I share with them, that what I feel for them, is an illusion. They are real. This is real.

_They are what I'm fighting for. For as long as I can remember, I've always fought for someone. For Abby, for Bae. And now...now I fight for them, and all of my brothers. Because they are what keep me strong. Because I love them. _

The thought gives me small consolation, and I gently kiss Toodles on the temple. He doesn't react, so I silently leave, not wanting to wake any of them up.

_I don't know what I'm going to do now. I truly don't. But for now, I just take comfort in the fact that I've found something real. That Hook is wrong. _

I love the Lost Boys. And no matter what Hook says, no matter what games Pan plays, I always will love them.

They want me to pick a side. But the truth is I'm not on Pan's side, or Hook's. Bae saw it. Marcus sees it. I'm not with Pan or Hook. I'm with my brothers.

Because they are the Lost Boys. And I'm their Lost Girl. And somehow...that makes us family.

_This isn't a fantasy, Hook. This is real._

I promised Abby I wouldn't let anything happen to her after our dad abandoned us. It feels like it's happening all over again, with Hook turning his back to me. And just as before, I won't let anything happen to my family, because someone who was like a father to me abandoned me.

_I've made my choice. And I've chosen my brothers._

* * *

**A/N: **Um...hey guys...long time...

Alright, I've said it once, I'll say it again: I'm very sorry for the late update. This past month has been absolutely crazy, and this chapter was so, so hard to write. I want to thank everyone for their infinite patience, and sticking with it while I was figuring out my hectic schedule and somehow putting this chapter together. Seriously, y'all are amazing for supporting this fic, with all of it's late updates.

Also, I want to thank every one of you that voted for this story in the inkitt contest! It really meant a lot to me, seeing so many people supporting this story. Even though it didn't win, it was enough for me to see y'all coming out to vote for it. Thank you so much!

And, on a side note: Robbie Kay is coming back to OUAT! Oh my gosh! I am so excited to see Pan back, and hopefully he will stick around for a while!

A special thanks to **jacksonwang, i-like-writing-stories, J-walker, sammiemarie123, Rosierm8, agfangirlforlife, poukie-scrapbook, yumiXjaganshi, LSU lovePurple liveGold, , **and **yroof16 **for putting this story on alert, and to **jacksonwang, Asphodelia, ****i-like-writing-stories, J-walker, zkinchington, littleleprechaun97, **** LSU lovePurple liveGold, ****yroof16, **and **Fated ****Fairy** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **Female whovian, ColdHeartAngel, LunaEvanna Longbottom, SilverFury01, Shinome Sakuya, 18TSMarley, chinaluv, sarah0406, scorpiongirl92, mercenary2.0, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, fruitylooper, TheSarcasticAngel, sammiemarie123, LyrisaLove, meguhanu, katerinamak2015, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, TheLostPanGirl, Ellimac1716, LSU lovePurple liveGold, **SuperFanNumber1, NeverlandDreamer, Hello, shootingstar1618, and the many guests who left reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my beta **Uncommon** **fairy**! Seriously, y'all rock!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Hook and Vin's argument are especially appreciated, along with Vin's choice and Devon's fight with Henry. And, I will say it now: _dang it, Hook_! **:) **


	54. Chapter 54

**Warning: This chapter contains mentions of rape, and strong language.**

* * *

Hook made his way up the mountain, his thoughts on what had taken place only moments ago.

After the lass had ran, after she had nearly killed him, the prince had rounded on him.

"_Are you good now?_" he had asked Hook. "_Or do you want to go rip her heart out while you're at i_t?"

Hook had forced himself to tune out the prince, resolutely making his way to the mountain, as the prince ranted about how she did not deserve that.

"She hasn't done anything to hurt us since we've met her," the prince had been saying as they approached the mountain. "She even tried to help me, and you shoved it in her face. I saw the way she looked at you, Hook. She trusted you. She cared about you, and you acted like she was your worst enemy."

Hook had ignored him, clenching his jaw to keep himself from another outburst. He purposefully avoided the prince's eyes, focusing directly on the mountain ahead of him, and the climb he would have to make.

_Focus on the task at hand_, he had told himself. _Focus on that, and don't think about her. Don't think about what you just said to her. _

The worst part was that he knew the prince was right. Ever since they found her, the lass had only tried to help. Telling them Henry was safe, giving herbs for the prince, tending the prince's wound even now. She had done nothing that would indicate that she had planned to hurt them. Except that every time he saw her, she stood resolutely with Pan.

The first time, Hook thought it had had been shock. She had clearly been allies with Pan for a long time. Perhaps her realizing that she had the chance to leave was so daunting that she could only run. The second time...he had been more hopeful. He didn't expect her to explain her actions, or to regret her alliance with Pan. But he had hoped that what he shared with her years ago would be strong enough that if he just _asked _her, she would see that Pan could not be trusted. And she refused. She called Neverland her home.

For the past few days, Hook had replayed that scene over and over in his mind.

"_I am home." _

Ever since, all he could do was wonder what Pan had done to her. What did that...that demon do to his lass, that turned that bright, shining girl into one of Pan's faithful followers?

Hook had debated this over and over again. When he was keeping watch on his own, when they walked in silence, any time he had a moment to himself.

_What did he do to her? What did that monster do to my Jess? _

At first, he had wondered if Pan had used her sister. If he had threatened to hurt her sister if she did not comply. But Hook knew that was impossible. If there was one thing the lass would do, it was protect her sister. No matter what Pan could throw at her, Hook doubted she would ever let her little sister get hurt.

After he had realized this, all possible scenarios only seemed to get worse. Had Pan tortured her? Had he ripped out her heart, and now used it to control her? Had Pan placed a spell on her, so that she believed his every word?

But the worst one was the one he had always thought of first, but never wanted to admit. One where Pan had seduced her. Whether by magic, or by his own manipulation, Pan could have drawn her to him. Convinced her to share her bed with him. Coaxed her into lying with him.

_No,_ he had told himself resolutely, the first time he thought this. _No, Jess is strong. She would not let that happen. No matter what Pan did or said, she would never open herself up to him like that. Not after everything he did to her. _

After he had thought that, the scenario became worse. Of his bright lass, taken to Pan after Hook fell through the portal. Of the monster taking advantage of her helplessness, and forcing himself on her. Jess would fight, but Hook remembered Pan. Pan was always thrilled when someone fought back. It gave him pleasure when he finally defeated them. Pan would not be phased by the lass's struggles; he would relish them.

Hook kept trying to force the thought out, tried to tell himself it was a lie. That it was not what happened. That there was some other explanation.

But every time he fell asleep, all he could think of was his poor lass taking Pan and his abuse again, and again, until her will had broken. Until she had decided there was not point to fighting. That it would be better to let Pan do as he willed to her, rather than fight and hurt herself. And once she gave up, Pan suddenly became kind to her. Welcomed her to the Lost Boys, dressed her up as one of his minions, and told her she was one of them. His lass, that brilliant, beautiful, sweet girl broken and convinced she was a monster. Because Hook didn't save her.

He hadn't told anyone of this. How could he? Everyone else had come to save the boy. He had come to save Baelfire's son. He was the one who stole the bean, the reason the boy was taken in the first place. How could he tell them how it broke his heart to think of the girl who was like a daughter to him? How he was overjoyed to find her, but he found her broken? And that he feared that Pan had broken her in the worst way?

No, they would not care. They would not listen. They were united by their common cause, their history. He was the outsider, the one who betrayed them in the first place. So he had kept his fears to himself, never saying a word about Jess, and what he feared happened to her.

Until he called her Pan's whore.

He hadn't meant to say it. Not like that. He was planning, if he ever saw her again, to ask for the truth. To know for sure if his worst fears were real. If Pan had really done unspeakable things to break her.

Instead, he saw it get out of control. He knew she was about to tell the prince the truth about the water. If she had, if she revealed the truth, then there was no telling what the prince would do. He could walk away, or refuse to get the water. Hook was trying to save the man's life, not condemn him. He needed to stop her from saying anything before the prince died.

And then...the words just slipped out. And once they did, it was like all of his worst fears were flowing out of him. He forgot that he was talking to her, that she was the one hearing those hateful words. The words just spilled out, and he refused to stop. He went on and on, voicing the things he had imagined Pan doing to her. Disgracing her in an unspeakable way, and forcing her to believe his lies.

Then he saw the pain in the lass's eyes. Her misery, her fear, her anger, her hurt. He would have taken it back right then and there, if he had gotten the chance.

That was when she lashed out. When she used her magic to shove him in the tree, and wrapped the vines around him. He heard her shouting, but all he could understand was her rage.

She was so furious, yet at the same time, she seemed so confused, so lost. So terrified. But mostly furious. And in that moment, as she started to choke the life out of him, Hook didn't recognize the girl in front of him. It wasn't his lass, but it wasn't a Lost Girl either. It was someone to be feared. And the moment Hook saw her, he truly did fear her.

It wasn't until she released him, until he told her more spiteful words, that he saw his lass come back again. He saw the pain, the terror, the betrayal.

_I broke her heart_, he realized. _She trusted me, in spite of everything that has happened. Even though she's at Pan's side, she trusted me to help her. To believe in her, in her strength, in her will. And I spat in her face, and I called her a whore. I pushed her away until she ran from me. I let my fear get the better of me, and I lashed out at her like a rabid dog. She was relying on me to trust her, to believe in her. And I broke her heart. _

The thought punched Hook in the gut as he continued his climb.

He hadn't meant for this to happen. He never wanted things to end this way. He was going to save her, before he thought she was dead. He was going to find a way to Neverland, so that he could get her out. But now...now he wouldn't be surprised if she was ready to kill him the next time they met. Gods knew he deserved it. He wouldn't blame her if she attacked him again, if she broke his heart the way he had broken hers.

_She'll never forgive me for this,_ he thought bitterly as he made his way up. _She was relying on me, she trusted me like a father, and I called her the demon's slut. She'll never forgive me, and I don't blame her. _

He certainly wouldn't. He lashed out. He had hurt her. He would never forgive himself for this.

All those years ago, he had reassured her she wasn't a monster. That she was in no way like Pan. Those words had given her comfort, calmed her down. She was able to keep going because he had reassured her she wasn't a monster. Now, he had done worse. He hadn't called her a monster. He had called her the monster's harlot.

His thoughts only paused when he made it to the top of the ledge, and pulled himself over the edge. Absently, he wiped away beads of sweat before he realized that sweat wasn't the only thing that was running down his face. Even though no one was around, he hastily wiped away the tear.

_Focus on your task_, he told himself. _Get the bloody prince up here, and get him to bloody water._

Rigidly, he forced himself not to think about the lass, and tied the rope he had coiled around him to a strong rock. He walked over to the edge, and saw the prince at the bottom of the mountain. The prince must have seen him, because he waved for Hook to throw the rope down.

The prince was still clutching his side. Even after what Jess did with her herbs. This wasn't good. Unless he got to the water soon, the prince was dead.

No. The prince would not die. Hook had already lost his brother, most of his crew, and the lass to this forsaken island. He wasn't about to let someone else die because of it again.

"Don't pull him up yet."

Hook froze at the familiar voice, as both fear and anger rushed through him. He forced himself to keep the surprise from his face as he turned around.

Pan was almost ten feet from him, his face in the shadows, but even then, Hook could see that the boy was calm.

_No, that's no boy_, he reminded himself. _That's a bloody demon in front of me._

"I want to talk," Pan continued, seeing he got Hook's attention. "Alone."

Hook knew there was no way of saying no. Pan had his attention, and he would say what he wanted until Hook responded to him. If Hook ignored him, Pan would do something to make sure he would listen.

Any other time, he might have attacked Pan. But not now. Now he had to focus on getting the prince to the water. The sooner he talked to Pan, the sooner he could get the prince to the water, and back to his family.

"What do you want?" he asked, dropping the rope.

"To offer you a deal," Pan replied. "Come back and work for me. Like the old days."

Ah, yes. The old days. When Hook had to play Pan's games to keep his crew alive, when he had to make costly deals with this monster to stay safe. When Pan would demand Hook hand over Baelfire and Jess, who had wormed their way into his heart, and he would have to for the safety of his crew. All the while fighting to survive the dreamshade, the shadows, and the mermaids.

"I don't miss the old days," he replied calmly, careful not to let any of his emotions show. One wrong move could give Pan the leverage he needed.

"What if I were to offer you something very hard to come by?" Pan asked.

Without warning, he vanished and reappeared only inches away from Hook. Hook felt his calm expression give way to his surprise, but he held his ground. With Pan, he could not show fear. He could not give the demon anything that could be used against him.

"Passage off the island," Pan continued, as if he was still standing feet away.

Passage off the island. Yes, because there was never a hard price for that. The first time, it had cost Hook the girl. What would Pan want him to give up this time? Besides, he had unfinished business, geting back the boy. Looking after Jess. He wasn't leaving anytime soon.

"Still not interested," he replied, flashing Pan a small smile, hoping it would throw the boy off. Pan, however seemed unphased. If anything, he seemed to expect it.

"What if I were to sweeten the deal?" Pan asked, before stepping back a little. "You can take someone with you."

Hook felt his heart skip a beat, and realized he was holding his breath.

Someone with him...could Pan be offering him...no, he wouldn't just give her up like that…

"Emma."

Hook quickly forced himself to retain his calm expression. Of course it would be Emma. It made sense. She was the Savior, the one who was powerful enough to defeat Pan. She was the greatest threat of their little group, and Pan knew it. He would want her off the island, before she could take her son back. Pan also knew that Hook had started to care for her. That without knowing it, she had found her way into his heart, the same way Jess had. When he was around her, Hook felt as if he had moved on. From Milah, from Neverland, from the crocodile. Everything except the lass.

Besides, there was no way that Pan would just let Jess go. Not after everything that monster had done to hold onto her. Hook had no doubt that Pan would take away Hook's good hand before he gave Jess back to him.

"Emma would never leave her son," he said, careful not to show his fleeting hope that Pan would release Jess.

"She did once before," Pan said, and Hook could tell that the boy was watching him carefully, looking for any slip, any reaction. "And you can be there to pick up the pieces."

So it was free passage off the island for him and Emma. Hook could tell that Pan had chosen well. The offer was tempting. He could leave without so much as a scratch on him or Emma. He would be free of this hell, he could go back home, try to turn a new page. Start anew.

But...it wasn't possible. Emma would never forgive him if she found out that he had taken her away from her son and her parents. He would just be saving the prince to abandon him, along with the others. Not that he wouldn't mind leaving behind the Evil Queen and the Crocodile, but he wasn't in the habit of leaving people behind at Pan's mercy. He did that with Baelfire, and then with Jess. He wasn't going to do it again.

Besides, he couldn't leave. Not yet. Not until he had found the lass and told her he was sorry.

But the temptation was still there. And it was powerful.

"We've known each other for a very long time, Killian," Pan continued, seeing Hook was thinking. "We've done business before. And I think this is the perfect time to restart that relationship."

No. It wasn't. Hook was not falling for this demon and his games, which would no doubt cost him everything he had built since he got here. He had done what he had to do for survival, but this time there were bigger stakes than him. Emma, her son, Jess. He couldn't leave them behind because Pan offered to help him.

But Pan didn't know that. He didn't know what Hook was thinking. And there was a chance...a chance for them to figure out what he and his gang of children were up to, if Hook played his cards right. And Hook was excellent at cards. He had to play it safe for now. Negotiate. Figure out how badly Pan wanted him to take the deal.

"What if I'm not interested?" he asked.

Pan scoffed, as if it was ridiculous.

"Of course you are," he replied. "Because that's what I've always liked about you. You're good at surviving."

He was good. Hook had to give him that. But if this monster thought that he was going to work for the creature who had taken his brother, his crew, and the lass away, he had another thing coming. Not that Hook could reveal it now. For now, he had to play it right.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, as if he was considering it.

"You'll be my employee," Pan replied, calmly, but Hook caught the gleam in his eye. He thought he was winning Hook over. "Do my dirty work."

There. Now was his opportunity.

"What dirty work?" he asked, casually.

"When the time comes, I'll let you know," Pan replied, quickly deflecting the question. "But the kind I usually send _my whore_ to do when I need an errand run."

Hook's carefully schooled expression dropped, and he felt his heart plummet.

He knew. Gods, he knew what had happened. He knew what had happened between him and the lass. He knew what he called her, what he said to her. He had seen everything, and he was taunting Hook about it. Why else would he say what he had just said?

"You heard-" Hook started, but the look on Pan's face confirmed it. He looked thrilled. As if he was overjoyed that Hook had hurt Jess the way he did. Come to think of it, Pan probably _was_ overjoyed that Hook had hurt her.

"Oh, I heard every word," Pan said, a malicious grin on his face. "To be honest, I didn't see it coming. I mean, I knew you never liked me, but what you thought I did to her? Even I was surprised. If I was surprised, I'm sure you can only imagine what Vin feels now."

Hook didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to imagine what the lass was feeling, after he had hurt her like that. After he betrayed her, turned his back on her.

_Wait…_

"What I _thought_ you did to her?" he repeated. "You mean that the two of you haven't…"

He couldn't bring himself to say it. To think about it, after what he had done to her.

"No, I haven't bedded Vin," Pan replied.

He glanced at Hook, before he gave him a vicious smirk.

"Yet," he added.

Hook wasn't sure if he felt relieved or guilty.

Pan hadn't touched her. Not like that. He had no doubt hurt her in some way, if he had convinced her that she was a Lost Girl. But he hadn't forced himself on her. He hadn't hurt her or disgraced her like that.

But Hook had assumed he had. And like a blundering idiot, he forced his fears on the lass. He forced her to hear what he feared, forced her to bear those thoughts. He made her into Pan's whore, when she had done nothing like that. He convinced himself she was enjoying it, and that's why she was loyal to Pan. But if he had waited, if he had just listened to her, if he had trusted her the way she had trusted him, she might have had a chance. He could have convinced her to come with him, to get away from Pan. Instead, he had snapped at her, broke her heart, and lost any chance he ever had of getting her back. And it was no one's fault but his.

Pan must have seen the guilt on Hook's face, because he started to scoff at him.

"Not that I don't want to," Pan went on. "She's always had a fighting spirit to her, didn't she? There have been moments when I just want to grab her by the hair and drag her-"

Hook didn't want to hear it. He refused to hear it. He refused to listen to this demon's _sick_ desires for Jess, and what he wanted to do with her.

"What if I were to take your deal now?" he asked, quickly changing the subject before Pan could torment him even more. "What then? I just wait for your orders?"

Pan smirked, clearly seeing through Hook's plan. He had seen that he had gotten under Hook's skin, and he was going to use it against him.

"Not exactly," he replied. "First I need a signal that you've taken my deal."

Now that surprised Hook. He never trusted Pan, not after Liam died. He became a pirate, he fought, he stole. But he still believed in good form. Pan knew that. Why the need for a signal now?

"So my word right now wouldn't be good enough?" he asked.

Pan didn't even looked surprised.

"Well, you gave Vin your word and you ended up calling her a whore," Pan replied, clearly enjoying the pain he was causing Hook. "Besides, you know me."

Without another word, he vanished, and Hook suddenly sensed a presence behind him.

"I like action," Pan continued from behind him.

Involuntarily, Hook flinched. He hated it when Pan did that.

"I'll know you've taken my deal," Pan went on as if nothing happened. "when I see the prince's dead body up on that peak."

So that was it. Pan wanted the prince dead. He didn't want the prince to drink the water. Hook wasn't sure why Pan wanted the prince specifically. Possibly because he was the closest member of the group at the time, or maybe because he was already weak. Or maybe because it would hurt Emma to now that her father had died. Or maybe because he knew Hook didn't want to lose yet another person to this bloody island.

"Well, you'll see that anyway," Hook said, turning around face Pan. "He's on his last legs, thanks to Dreamshade."

Pan's eyes flashed, and Hook noticed a dark glee inside them as he watched Pan. The boy was enjoying this, wasn't he?

"I want to see you kill him before the poison," Pan muttered. "I want to see your hook inside his body."

It was perfect. Too bloody perfect. The prince would die, the others would no longer trust Hook, and he would have nowhere to turn except to Pan. Trapped, just as Jess was years ago. He would be Pan's employee, without having to do much work. Just as Pan intended.

And there was no way Hook was going to do it. He was never going to work for the monster that had killed his brother, his crew, and had taken the lass from him. No matter how good the offer was.

"And what if I don't take your offer?" he asked.

Pan cocked an eyebrow, before leaning in close.

"Remember the last time you didn't listen to me?" he murmured, as if he wanted no one else to hear.

Hook felt his heart freeze. He remembered. Pan had told him to hurt Jess. To betray her so that she would not trust him. Instead, she stayed close to him. He had protected her. Looked after her.

And now he had hurt her.

"Though," Pan whispered, almost as an afterthought. "I suppose I should be thanking you."

Hook pulled back, and stared at the boy in shock.

He had been fighting him ever since he found Jess. Since before he got out of Neverland. What could he possibly have done that Pan would want to thank him?

Pan grinned at this confusion.

"Vin's been having trouble figuring out where her loyalties lie," Pan explained. "Whether she stays and helps her family, or if she goes back to the people who helped her when she was lost. We've mostly won her over but...she's still hesitating. But after what you did tonight? After you pushed her away? I think you've made it clear who her real family is. Because now, she's running back to camp, and guess what? She isn't running from you. She's running to me."

Hook stared at the boy, and realized he was hand was clenched in a fist.

_I have to stop this_, he thought. _I have to stop him before he touches her, before he hurts her. He's doing this to break her, and I can't let him do that to her._

Slowly, he raised his hook, getting ready to strike, when Pan reached down and pressed something his hand. His rum bottle.

"Have a drink," Pan murmured tauntingly. "You know it always helps you think."

Hook barely had time to figure out if it was an insult when Pan vanished, and Hook saw the prince making his way up the ledge with his own hands.

Immediately, Hook forced the words to the back of his mind, focusing on the task at hand. If the prince kept exerting himself, there wouldn't be time for the two of them to reach the peak with the prince alive. Pan's deal or not.

"Bloody hell, I told you to wait!" he snapped, before swallowing back anything more.

He didn't want to lash out at the prince. Not after what he had done to the lass.

The prince ignored the rebuke, and made his way over to Hook.

"Were you talking to someone?" he asked.

Damn. He had heard. Hook knew he wasn't taking the deal, but if the prince realized that Hook had talked to Pan, he would only be suspicious, waiting for Hook to stab him in the back.

"Just talking to meself," he replied, the lie coming out easily. "Old habit from many a-night on the lonely seas."

_And why were they lonely?_ he thought idly. _Because I couldn't hold onto her when the bloody shadow grabbed her._

Gods, Pan was going to hurt her. He was going to use Hook's angry words to turn Jess against him even more. Use his anger to convince her that she belonged with that bloody demon. He was going to rip her apart, then rebuild her the way he wanted.

"Well," said the prince, noticing the bottle in Hook's hand. "I'm glad to see you're enjoying the refreshments while you're doing it."

Hook glanced down at the bottle, and decided there was no point in bringing up Pan. His conversation with the boy had been for Hook, and Hook alone. There was no need to stress the prince even more with knowing Pan wanted Hook to kill him.

"Apologies, mate," he said, frustration slipping through his tone. "It isn't much farther now."

He had to do something. He had to get her out of there. Pan hadn't hurt her yet, but he would if he got the chance. But he couldn't do that. He had severed any bond he and the lass had. If he tried to get her out now, if he tried to save her, she would only see it as a lie. A trick for him to get her away from Pan. No, he had to prove he still had some good in him. That he was ready to fight for others, not himself. He had to show her that he was a better man than he had shown her moments ago.

_I'm not taking your bloody deal, Pan_, he thought. _I have already hurt her more than ever. I won't let her see me as the monster that I showed her. I will save the prince, like she wanted, I will help Emma rescue the boy, and I will save her from you. Even if she chooses not to leave, I won't leave without telling her what you are, and what you plan to do to her._

"Come on," he said to the prince. "We need to keep moving if we want to reach the peak before you die."

* * *

I silently creep out of the younger ones' tree, careful not to wake them.

They don't know it, but just by being around them, they have made me feel better and more resolved than I have since the first time I saw Henry. I've been torn for so long that I forgot what I was fighting for. Not for Pan, not for Hook. For my brothers. They saved me when I had nothing, and they don't know it. After Bae got out, I was on the edge. I was ready to give in, just so that it all could stop. But then I made a choice to fight for them, and they saved me from giving in.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I sense it behind me. The twisted, familiar darkness of Pan. I have been keeping myself more aware, after the last time he caught me off my guard.

_What is he doing here? Has he come to rub it in even more? Or maybe he wants to try to break me again?_

I don't bother turning around. I won't give him that satisfaction. Instead, I take a deep breath, internally steeling myself for whatever sick game he's playing this time.

"Something you want, Pan?" I ask, keeping my voice cool and calm.

Only then do I turn around, but my expression remains unimpressed and bored. Pan is standing only ten feet from me, and from what I can tell he is watching me with a curious expression.

_What, he hasn't had enough with watching me become torn up about Henry? He's following me when I'm on my own now?_

"What were you doing in there, Vin?" he asks, instead of answering my question.

"Getting perspective," I reply flatly, crossing my arms. "Not that it's any of your damn business."

_Who am I kidding? He's been in my business ever since I came to Neverland._

I watch him warily, my sixth sense flaring, waiting for him to make the first move. Too long, I've grown relaxed around him. I let myself think that I was safe with him, that I did not have to be afraid of him. I should have known better. I won't make that mistake again.

Pan raises his hands defensively, as if he has done nothing wrong, but his eyes flash slightly at my retort. I can't tell if it's annoyance or glee. I personally don't want to know which.

"Sorry," he replies, innocently. "Wasn't trying to pry."

I can't hold back a scoff at this.

_Sorry? He and I both know that's not true. I'm the one who left him tied to a tree that took away his ability to regret. He couldn't be sorry if he wanted to. Not trying to pry? He's been prying into my life since he took my sister from me._

"If you weren't trying to pry," I say, still refusing to move. "Why are you here? Want to make me listen to your pipes again? Because I don't think it's going to work."

I see him blink at the last bit, as if that surprises him. But it's true. Seeing the younger boys, remembering why I'm fighting this fight...I'm not lost. Not anymore. I know what I have to do, and I will do what I have to do to save my family.

"Not at all," he replies. "I just wanted to make sure that you hadn't run away from me again. That you weren't going to look for Baelfire, or something foolish like that."

Something tells me that we both know that's exactly what I was doing after I realized I couldn't track Devon. Neither of us will admit it, though. That would give away his precious game.

"Trust me," I respond sarcastically, uncrossing my arms. "Your investment is safe."

Pan laughs at this, but I keep my expression unchanged, letting him know that I'm serious. I can see his face change, as he's realizes that I'm not kidding.

"Investment?" he repeats incredulously. "Vin-"

"Oh please," I interrupt, spreading out my arms. "That's what I am to you, and we both know it. You took me so that my heart would help you survive. And, should that not work, you had me train with magic and fighting, so I could still help you. You even pushed me to get closer to the boys, just so I would have motivation to help you. And, you keep pushing me to play your game, so you can be entertained when you're taking a break from trying to convince Henry to give you his heart. So yes, Pan, that makes me an investment."

Pan looks taken aback, but I'm personally not in the mood.

_How long have I put up with him like this? How long have I worked with him as an ally before I realized I was nothing more than a toy to him? I was a fool if I ever thought I meant something to him. All I am is his investment for securing his life line. And if it weren't for the Lost Boys, I would leave him to his fate._

"Is that really all you think you are to me?" he asks, as if stunned. "You mean after everything I have done for you-"

_Everything he's done for me? Right, he's said some stupid things before, but this takes the cake._

"Everything you've done for me," I repeat, arching an eyebrow. "Really? From where I'm standing, you've done nothing but manipulate me, so that I'm where you need me on the chessboard. I'm just your pawn, and we both know it. As far as I can tell, we're all pawns to you. Me, the boys, your son. When it comes down to it, we aren't your family, Pan. We're your game pieces."

Pan's eyes flash dangerously, and I can tell I'm toeing the line. Marcus's warning still rings in the back of my mind, telling me to back down. But I can't. Hook thinks that I don't back down, so much that I started...gods, I don't want to even think about that.

Pan is still watching me, and I meet his gaze, daring him to look away first.

_That's right. You can get angry at me all you want, but I can't get angry at you. Gods forbid I dare have a different opinion than you. That I dare love my brothers more than the man who abandoned his son, now wants to kill his grandson, and will manipulate me and the people I care about in his free time._

"The pirate," he starts, changing the subject. "You met him, didn't you?"

Once, I might have been surprised that he knew. But now, I'm not. Bae had to freeze him in squid ink so that I could get a few hours away from him. I don't know if he had someone follow me, or if he had his shadow do it, or if he did it himself. But I should have realized he would have followed me the moment I left camp. I ran away once, and I nearly got Henry and Bae to Emma. He won't risk that happening again.

"Yes," I reply shortly, crossing my arms again. "And I still came back to camp. Does that surprise you?"

Pan looks away, and I suddenly wonder if it did surprise him. That I came back here, after everything he has done to me.

_I did not come back to him, though. I came back to my brothers. I left the man who called me a whore, and I went to my family. To the place where I belong._

"He called you my whore," Pan says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

_Gods, he would have seen that if he followed me. I should have realized. Damn._

I don't know what he's thinking, or what he's planning to do with this information. I think we both know that Hook's words hurt me in a way that Pan never could. That he willingly hurt me because I didn't leave the Lost Ones, like he wanted. So he called me Pan's whore. He believed, after everything Pan did to me, the only reason that I stayed was because I was his lover. The idea is so sick, so wrong. And both Pan and I know it.

"Your point?" I ask, purposefully keeping my expression neutral, my arms crossed so tightly to not show emotioin.

He can use the words to make me hurt even more, or to try to draw me to his side even more. Neither is good, and I have no intention of letting him do that to me.

Pan shrugs, as if it doesn't matter to him. But I can see it, even though he tries to hide it. He likes what he heard, because he knows he can use it to his advantage.

"I know it hurt you," he replies, casually. "I could hurt him for you, if you want. I could make him suffer after saying those things to you."

_What?_

I blink in surprise, taken aback by his response, and my neutral expression gives way to shock.

"What?" I ask, my voice losing it's calm, and my arms dropping in surprise. "You'd hurt him for me?"

"If you want," Pan replies, as if talking about the weather. "He called you a whore. He should have known better. I know if any of the other boys knew that he called you a whore, they would hunt him down and kill him. I figured I'd offer to, as well."

I can only stare at him, because the whole thing is disgusting. Hook thinks that I'm Pan's whore. So in retaliation, Pan is offering to hurt Hook. Not because Hook hurt me, but because it is what he believes anyone else would do. Anyone but him.

"Why would you do that?" I ask, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

Pan looks confused, as if he doesn't understand why I look so horrified at the idea.

_Hook crossed a line. He called me such horrible things, and hurt me in ways that I never imagined. But I don't want to see him dead because of me. If I did, I would have let those vines choke him. I don't want him to die, least of all for me._

"It's what-" he starts, but I cut him off.

"No," I say, stepping closer to him. "Why would _you_ do that? Why are you offering to do that?"

His face contorts in further confusion, as if he can't understand what I'm asking. As if he doesn't have some underlying motivation that he has yet to show me.

"I'm just trying to be nice, Vin," he replies, moving closer to me, his eyes lit with something that makes me shiver involuntarily.

I can't help but let out a small laugh, because the whole idea is ridiculous. He wants to be nice to me, because Hook hurt me? He wants to be nice to me, after everything he has done to play with me, to hurt me? Pan looks surprised at my laugh, but I only shake my head.

"You know," I say, my voice surprisingly calm, jabbing my finger at him. "A few days ago, I might have actually believed you. That you wanted help me because you care. But after last night, do you think I can ever believe that you genuinely give a damn about me? You've been playing me from the beginning, with Bae, with Henry, with everything. Do you really think that after all of this, I can still fool myself into thinking I'm worth something to you?"

Pan looks like he's torn between answering and keeping silent. Really, I don't care what he does. I've made my choice. I haven't chosen him. After what he's done, there is no way I could ever choose him. Everything I do now, I do for my brothers. He's just the way to saving them, so I will help him. But I'm not about to play this game with him again.

"You've made it clear that I'm just another tool for you to use," I continue, when he doesn't say a word. "So why bother pretending anymore, Pan? I'm going to help you, but not for you. I'm doing it for the Lost Boys, and after it's done, you can stay the hell out of my life. Because I warned you what would happen if you lied to me again, remember? I told you I would leave. And that's exactly what I'm doing after we get Henry's heart. I'm leaving, and I'm taking any boy that wants to come with me. Because I'm through with you, with your mind games, and with anything else you have to offer me."

Well there. I've gone and done it now. I'm going to leave. Because that's the only other option he's given me. He's lied to me again, and again, and again, and I'm done with it. I'm not going to stick around and pretend that everything is alright. That I can just go along, as if he's done nothing wrong. No, I played that game once, and he's only used it to play me even more. I may not be able to leave Neverland, but I can go somewhere else. Somewhere where he can't reach me, where he can't play his mind games with me. I did it once with Bae, and I'm ready to do it again.

Pan just scoffs, as if I'm acting like a child, and I arch an eyebrow, daring him to challenge me. He's given me no other choice but to murder my best friend's son. He has no right to try to stop me if I want to leave, and if he tries, he will know what a real Dreamer can do.

"I showed you the right path, Vin," he protests. "The pirate called you a whore. He accused you of lying with me, and with the others as well. He took our family, and turned it into something disgusting. I offer to step in, to defend your honor, and you want to walk away from me?"

_My honor? Since when has he ever cared about my honor? No, he's not angry at Hook. He wants to do it so that I will be on his side even more. As if killing will bring me closer to him._

"Yes, he hurt me," I murmur, the memory of Hook's angry words biting me again. "He made me into your slut. Your slave. But at least he came and told me what he thought of me. He made it clear he doesn't want to see me again. You on the other hand, have done nothing to show that you will change. That you only intend to keep on breaking me, even after Henry is dead. Well, I'm done with that game. So yes, Pan, after this I'm leaving, and if you value anything, you won't stop me."

Pan says nothing, and but the sour look on his face tells me that I've made my point. And if that's the case, then there's no reason for me to be here. I have no reason to be around him anymore, other than to see that what needs to be done is done.

I start to make my way back to camp, purposefully looking ahead and not at him, my head held high. I'm aware of the look in his eye as I do so, and I'm not sure if it's angry or...something else. Almost like desire, except twisted. Worse than desire.

As I walk past him, his hand suddenly shoots up, and grabs me roughly by my shoulder. I stop, and turn to meet his gaze. His eyes still hold whatever I saw before, but now that he's touching me, it's greater.

"You forget your place," he snarls, his fingers digging into my shoulder.

I could act scared. I could act like he wants, and struggle and beg him to let go. But I'm sick of doing this dance. I'm sick of playing his games, that he always seems to win.

His grip tightens, and something tells me that I will have a new set of bruises on my shoulder to match the ones on my arm.

"Let go of me," I say icily.

Pan only grips me tighter, his fingernails going even deeper into my skin. I ignore the pain, and focus on meeting his glare. Giving into the pain would only show him that he's winning.

"Do you think that I'll just let you walk away?" he asks. "That I will set you free after I'm done with the boy?"

I don't know. If he wants to get through this in one piece, he will let me go. Because I will leave, or I will die trying. I don't care what I have to do, I refuse to live under this thumb any longer.

His face is only inches from mine, and I realize that what I see in his eyes is desire. I don't know what he desires, but my gut tells me that I don't like it. He's holding me and unless I move now, I won't like what he does next.

I could pull a knife on him, or attack him with magic. But that would show him that he's gotten under my skin. That what he's doing now is unnerving me. No, I meet his gaze, as if daring him to try to make me move. There is something pleasing in watching his desire suddenly give way to discomfort, as he realizes that I'm not backing down.

_Yeah, that's it you bastard. You squirm, and you suffer, just as you have made the rest of us squirm and suffer under you._

"Pan!"

We both look up to see Marcus making his way to us. He's panting a little, which tells me that he's gotten back from walking. If he had run, he would have been very exhausted.

At the sight of us, however, with Pan clearly uncomfortable, but gripping me tightly, he pauses. I can see him glance at me, and he meets my eyes and raises his eyebrows, wordlessly asking me if I'm alright. I nod marginally, letting him know I'm okay, before he turns back to Pan.

"I just got back from the peak," he reports. "You were wrong. The pirate didn't kill the prince. He gave him the water."

Wait what? Hook...got David to the water? He managed to get David to drink some, to save him from the poison…

_That's why he didn't want me to talk about the water_, I realize. _He was scared that if David knew about the water, he would refuse to drink any. He had to trick him in order to save him._

Part of me feels a rush of joy. David made it. He's going to be alright. Hook got him to the water.

_But...now he's trapped here. Forever. He can't leave without dying, just as I can't. Hook might have saved his life, but he's condemned David to spending eternity in Neverland._

Pan doesn't say anything, but watches me, as if gauging my reaction.

_I won't let him hurt Hook. Despite what Hook did, what he said, I don't want anyone to die. Even Hook._

I keep my expression blank, even though Pan probably knows what I am thinking. Marcus looks from me to Pan, and to Pan's hand, which is still gripping me tightly by the shoulder.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asks, clearly not amused by whatever it is he thinks we're doing.

I don't know why I flush at this, but I do. Pan does not, though, and he only glances at me once again before letting go of my shoulder.

"No," he replies, easily. "Vin and I were just having a pleasant chat. Weren't we, Vin?"

One glance at Marcus tells me that he doesn't buy it, but Pan doesn't have to know it. Hell, I'm scared what will happen if Pan does figure out that Marcus is having his doubts.

"Absolutely," I say.

Pan nods, but the look he gives me tells me that our conversation is far from over. With that, he turns, and makes his way back to camp. Marcus, however, doesn't move as Pan goes back to camp, and his expression is serious. I don't move until Pan is gone, not wanting to give away just how much he scared me.

_What was in his eyes. In the way he touched me...damn it, I don't like this!_

Marcus sees it too. As soon as Pan's gone, he moves over to me, and looks at me with concern. I realize my hands are balled into fists, and that if I hold them any tighter, I'll draw blood.

_He's not going to let me go. I should have seen it. If I leave, I'm going to be running again. He won't stop until I've broke, just as the mermaids warned me years ago. I might not be his whore, but the mermaids were right. I am his toy._

"Let me see, Vin," Marcus says, and his voice is gentle.

It takes me a moment to realize what he means. He saw the way Pan gripped me. How tight it was. He saw my bruises earlier too. Silently, I unbutton the top of my tunic, to expose my shoulder, and he leans in closer to examine it.

Four angry red marks circle the front of my shoulder, and a single deep mark is on the back of my shoulder, where his thumb was. All five have deep scratches, where his nails dug into my skin. Nothing too much, but it will definitely bruise. Marcus sighs in frustration as he pulls back,

"Damn it, Vin," he mutters. "Why didn't you call for me?"

_Didn't call for him? He wasn't even here. He was making his way back from the peak, if he was honest about what he saw._

"You weren't here, remember?" I point out, as I button my tunic. "Besides, it wasn't a big deal."

Marcus looks at me as if I'm unbelievable.

"Wasn't a big deal?" he repeats. "Vin, he looked like he was ready to kill you or tear your clothes off. And he didn't really seem to care which came first."

I feel a small shudder at the mention of the way Pan was looking at me. As if he wanted something, something that I know that I won't give him. Something he'll take if he has too.

_But it wasn't like that. Not really. If he had any feelings for me like that, he would have acted on them by now. No, he's just hoping that I'll break. That I'll give into him, so he can win his stupid game._

"I had it handled, Marcus," I reply. "You did the same thing with the Savior. I know you think that I need help, but I can take care of myself. And if you try to help me, then I can't take care of myself if I'm trying to watch over you."

Marcus rolls his eyes, and I see the same defiance I saw earlier when I told him off for defending me from Emma. Something tells me that his reply won't be an agreement to back off.

"I know you can take care of yourself, Vin," he says, and I can tell he's keeping himself from lashing out. "But this? The touching, the bruises? Vin, this isn't anger, or him lashing out at you. I thought that's what it was at first, but now? No way. He's hurting you for the hell of it."

I know that. I'm already Pan's personal punching bag. The only thing is that I hit back when he hits me, and that amuses him. That's why he wants me to break.

_Who knows?_ I think, absently. _If I had broken earlier, Hook's estimation of me might not have been far off. I might have become Pan's whore._

But as I look at Marcus, I know that I can't involve him. I involve him, and he might get hurt. Pan already hurt Bae to get to me, and he just offered to hurt Hook for me. I don't want him to hurt anyone else, especially someone who is trying to help me. Someone I truly care about.

"Look, I'm handling it," I say, keeping my voice calm. "Trust me, if he was really hurting me, he wouldn't live long enough to regret it. If it becomes too much, you'll be the first to know."

Marcus just looks even more frustrated, and he opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then he closes it. I can tell he's worried about me, when he should be worrying about getting Henry's heart. Because that has to be the first priority. My brothers were my choice, not Pan. I will save them, then I will make sure that Pan never touches me again. Because that is the only way I see myself getting out of this in one piece.

_Even if it means killing an innocent boy? Come on, there's no way I come out of that alright_…

"Just…" Marcus starts, and he squeezes my arm. "Just tell me, the next time he does something like that. He shouldn't be hurting you. I don't like what he's doing. You, then Devon in the fight. This is wrong, Vin."

For some reason, this comment fills me with relief. Because it assures me that I'm not alone in this fight. That if it comes to leaving, I might just have an ally. If I have to leave, Marcus will help me.

_I still have my brothers. They are still fighting for me, just as I'm fighting for them. We will see each other out of this, no matter what we must do. We have our family's back._

I nod, assuring Marcus that I understand and that I will do as he says the next time the occasion arises. He breathes, as if reassured, and lets go of my arm.

Silently, we make our way back to camp. Neither of us are sure what to say. Pan...I'm not sure what he was doing, but it scares me. He's made it clear that I'm his toy to play with, his to break. But what he's doing now...Marcus is right. I think he's going to hurt me again, just for the fun of it. Because he thinks it breaks me even more. So he will hurt me again, and again until I break.

_I know what I have to do. I have to save my brothers. But in order to do this, I can't let Pan break me. He's underestimated me. He thought after what happened last night, I would choose him, just so that I can save my brothers. But that's not it. I will do what has to be done, but I will never stop fighting for my brothers. And as long as I'm fighting, he won't break me. So I have to keep fighting. It's the only way that I don't give into him._

As we get back to camp, I suddenly feel a rush of magic. Not dark, but not necessarily light. But it's there, and it's close. Not particularly strong, but close. Close to the light, good magic I feel whenever I'm close to Henry.

_What?_

"Marcus, I need you to go ahead," I say, not looking at my brother.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Marcus turn to me in confusion, but I'm focused on trying to pinpoint where the magic is coming from, and why it's so close to Henry.

"I need to check something out," I explain, glancing at Marcus. "It may be nothing, but still…"

Marcus cocks an eyebrow, but he nods. He goes on, leaving me alone to fully focus my sixth sense on finding the source of magic. As if reaching out and feeling around me, I try to focus more on Henry's magic, then try to figure out how close this magic is to him. It's not wild, like Neverland's magic, but I can't figure out what it is, or why…

Suddenly, it vanishes, as if it's been cut off. I try to reach out even more with my sixth sense, but I no longer feel the magic. It's like...like it was there, then it just turned off. As if someone stopped using it. But it was close to Henry. So, so close.

Careful not to make a sound, I make my way to where I last felt the magic, my sixth sense flaring, trying to find some sort of remnant of the magic. I wander over to the edge of camp, that's mostly blocked by foliage. From my position, I see Henry heading closer into camp, his hands in his pockets. Mat and Bryan greet him, and from what I can see, they are offering to show him how to climb the vines. He grins, and nods, apparently listening to what they have to say.

The sight is encouraging. It means he's starting to be comfortable around them, that he's ready to reach out to them.

But then there's something else. His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. In fact, they're almost dazed, as if something has taken him by surprise.

_What's going on? What did I miss?_

Slowly, I creep out from where I was, my sixth sense still reaching out. I feel like the answer is right in front of me, waiting for me to find it. It's so close, just inches away and-

My thoughts are cut off when I hear the sound of breaking glass, and feel something hard under my boot.

_What?_

I look down, and move my foot, to see a small, broken, circular mirror. I bend down to pick it up, and instinctively, I use my sixth sense to feel for any magic. I'm rewarded with a faint, almost invisible, trace of magic. The kind I sensed only moments ago.

This was what I was sensing, I think as I pick it up, and examine it.

It's nothing particularly special. The magic was put into the mirror. The mirror itself was not magical, just a host for a spell. It must have vanished when the mirror broke.

_So maybe if I repair it...I can see what the original spell was…_

I imagine the mirror whole, with no cracks, or missing pieces. And slowly, I feel the magic I felt before return to the mirror. Slowly, it starts to glow a little, and my reflection disappears in the glassy surface. The image is replaced with what looks like...fabric.

"He's alright."

I start at the voice the comes from the mirror. I recognize the voice, even if it's slightly muffled. That's Emma's voice. And she sounds relieved.

"Yeah. Yeah, he's okay."

I recognize that voice as well. It's not Emma's, and it sounds closer. The Evil Queen...Regina…wait. Regina's coat! That's what I'm seeing in the mirror. So what I see now must be the inside of her pocket.

_So this is, what, some two way mirror? I can look into it and see and hear what another mirror sees and hears? Judging by the look of the mirror in my hand, it looks like it had a twin. Maybe that's the one it's connected to…_

But what is a mirror connected to the Evil Queen and Emma doing in our camp? Especially when we have guards to make sure they don't get close? How did this mirror get in and how did it end up...so close to...Henry…

I look up at Henry, as he laughs at a joke Mat makes. But the laugh seems forced, as if he's trying too hard. As if he's hiding something.

I look from him, to the mirror, to him again, then the mirror.

He was close to it, then it cut off suddenly. Right around the time he would have seen Pan coming back from tormenting me. He dropped it casually, causing the magic to cut off. So that means he was using it to…

I look at the mirror again, and I realize exactly what Henry saw in the mirror. He saw his mothers. He knows that they are here, and they are coming for him. That we've been lying to him this whole time.

_Oh, hell..._

* * *

**A/N: Merry Christmas, and happy holidays! **

I know that I can't say it enough, but y'all are absolutely amazing for your patience. I was ready to get this chapter out not to long after I posted the last one, but then life happened. I had exams, then I had to go back home for the holidays, and get back to my old job while I was in town, because text books do not pay for themselves. Yet somehow, in all of that, I was able to find the time to write this, and get it out for y'all. Again, thank you for y'all's infinite patience with me and my crazy writing schedule.

Now, I have a semi announcement for y'all. As y'all might have guessed by my lack of updates, I don't have as much time as I once did to write and update this story. Now, I'm not saying I'm giving up on this story. Definitely not. I am going to see this story through, even if it takes me another year. But, I am still trying to decide what to write after I'm done with this story. I have two ideas: the sequel to this story, or an AU, based off this story.

There are some pros and cons to each one. Cons for the AU: it will be dark, and I mean very dark (probably M rating). Also, it will mean that we will have to wait longer to see what happens next to Vin. Pros for the AU: while it will be dark, we will see Vin develop in a way that we haven't seen before, and we will delve very deeply into the relationship between her, Pan, and the others. We will also meet characters that will be important in the actual sequel. We will meet these characters either way, AU or sequel. Pros for the sequel first: we will get to move on with Vin's story, and dive headfirst into what happens next with her and the Lost Boys. Also, we will get to see a glimpse of what happens in the AU anyways, with events that take place in the sequel. Cons for the sequel: we miss the unique development of Vin and her relationship with Pan.

Both are viable options, and ultimately it will come down to which story I feel needs told first. But, I want to hear y'all's opinions as well. Feel free to review, or PM me and tell me what you think.

A special thanks to **Mikki18, Theresa5155, Horsemadgirl, Fantasy-Mania31, VNKlein, J8NV12, snowwhitealice, Lara Barnes, .3, . , LeopardFeather, **and** sassybastard **for putting this story on alert, and to **Theresa5155, Darkcrowprincess, ****Horsemadgirl, ****VNKlein, J8NV12, snowwhitealice, **** , **** .3, MyFandoms7, LeopardFeather, **and **roseredbird** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **ReginaQueenofHogwarts, The Dread Pirate Jones, GiraffePanda2, ColdHeartAngel, LyrisaLove, Deadly Papegoja, sarah0406, grapejuice101, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, chinaluv, mercenary2.0, LunaEvanna Longbottom, TheSarcasticAngel, scorpiongirl92, Charmedhpgirl, Giggles789, meguhanu, The Wolf Who Writes, J8NV12, HOAfan8509, **Silverfury01, NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, Lauren, and the many guests for leaving reviews that helped get me through all those hours that I was studying for exams. And, as always, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy**, my wonderful beta, who took the time out of her holiday to help me edit this chapter! Y'all are the best!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Again, let me know what y'all think about the AU or sequel. Also, thoughts on Hook's perspective, Vin's argument with Pan, and what will happen now that she's found the mirror are all appreciated. Thank you, and happy holidays! **:) **


	55. Chapter 55

It takes all of my self control to keep from panicking.

_Henry knows. He knows that his family is here. He knows that we've been lying to him about his family, about everything. _

I can only assume that he's spoken to the Evil Queen and Emma, but probably not Hook or David. They were alone, they wouldn't be get back to the women in time to help deliver the message. That much I can assume.

Everything else? No, I have nothing. I don't know what they said to Henry, or what Henry told them. For all I know, they told him that Pan was playing with them, to keep them from Henry. The magic from the mirror only lasted a few minutes, so their conversation could not have been long. But I don't know what was said, so I have to suspect the worst.

_It could all be falling apart_, I realize. _Now that Henry knows, it could be falling apart. _

Everything we've done, searching for Henry, getting him here, convincing him that he has to save us...it could all be for nothing, if he knows. For all I know, he could be planning to run, the first chance he gets, and find his family.

I have to turn around, to make sure that no one sees my face, because I'm sure if one of my brothers see me, they'll realize something is wrong. I don't want anyone to panic. Not now. If it happens, everything we've worked for will definitely unravel in our hands. I lean against a tree trunk for support, and throw the mirror to the ground, causing it to crack, and the spell to vanish.

_Good. It means that the connection is cut off. They won't realize that I repaired it, and that I know that they talked to Henry. _

I have to take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

_Calm down? It could all be falling apart! Henry, the heart, everything. We lose him, and my brothers don't stand a chance. Everything I've done, everything I've worked for to save them, and I could lose them because the Evil Queen sent one damn message! _

I close my eyes, and grit my teeth, holding back a groan of frustration. I have to keep my head. I won't help anything if I panic. There might, _might_, be a chance to save this, but if I lose control, then I will lose any chance I have at saving my brothers.

Slowly, I take another deep breath, willing myself to take control, and to not let the shock and fear send me into a frenzy. That's what Pan does, and it never ends well for anyone. After what feels like ages, my heart stops pounding, and I can start to think clearly again.

_Alright,_ I tell myself. _That's better. Now, figure out how to fix this. Step by step. How did Henry get the mirror in the first place? _

My sixth sense tells me that the Evil Queen and Savior are nowhere near here. But as far as I can tell, they have no idea where the camp is. I assume Pan gave them the map I made when Henry first arrived, but seeing how much we move camp, the map would be next to useless. They could try sending the mirror to Henry through magic, but they would have no way of knowing if Pan found it first, or if it would reach Henry before we moved camp again. It would be too risky.

_So how did they get the mirror here? We keep sentries all around camp, we are careful with objects that randomly appear, like mirrors. How did they get the mirror here, and how did they ensure it would get to Henry without any interference? _

I turn to look at Henry, who is still listening to Mat and Bryan, as they show him how to climb.

We wouldn't let anyone into camp, or any object that seemed strange. Bae and his father had to knock out our sentries to get here. So how would a mirror wind up here unless… unless…

_Oh no. Oh, gods no. _

They got to us. Somehow, without us knowing, Henry's family got to one of my brothers. They convinced one of them to take the mirror to Henry, because our sentries would let one of us in, without searching them.

My stomach seems to drop, as I look around the camp, my mind flying. It could be anyone. For all I know, they convinced anyone to turn on Pan and give Henry the mirror.

_No. No, they couldn't do that, I try telling myself. I trust my brothers. They wouldn't betray us without good reason. Just as Marcus trusted me not to go with Bae without good reason. _

The thought gives me some reassurance, but the memories of last night make one thing clear: Pan can't know about this. Not yet. He was angry at me for leaving with Bae, but he still needs me to help him, so he didn't hurt me too badly. But if he he finds out that one of us gave Henry something that helped him see his family… I don't want to even think what he would do to them.

This is going to be difficult. It's like looking through a needle in a haystack. I don't know who came in and out of camp lately, aside from Devon. For all I know, one of brothers got this mirror days ago, but has been waiting for the right opportunity to get it to Henry. And between me being with Henry, and how much Pan's trying to involve him, maybe they finally got the chance to give it to him.

I sigh in frustration, turning the mirror over in my hands.

_Anyone could have gotten this to him. They had to wait for Pan to talk to me, and they could have slipped it to him. Unless someone was watching Henry closely, I doubt anyone noticed Henry when he got the mirror. _

Felix, maybe. If he was watching, he would note if anyone in particular gave Henry something.

I look around at the camp, but I see no sign of Felix. I guess he's still out running whatever errand Pan has him doing. Oddly enough, Pan isn't here either. He came back to camp, but after that...I don't know. _He must have left. _

Good. I can use this time now, to find out what's going on. Figure out who gave Henry the mirror, before Pan finds out and hurts them. Find out, and get them to safety before Pan finds them.

Which leads me back to finding out who did this. It could be anyone, and nobody seems to have been watching Henry too closely, or they would have noticed he was talking to a mirror. There's only one person who I know used this mirror, and knows who gave it to him. Henry himself.

I grit my teeth, realizing what I have to do. I have to ask Henry who gave it to him. I have to confront him about the mirror. But if I do that, he's going to know that I've lied. That I kept his family from him. He might not want to give up the information, to get back at me, and I don't blame him for wanting that.

_I have to try though. Dammit, I have to try! It might be the only way to find who betrayed us, why they did it, and get them to safety before Pan finds out. _

I swallow, and carefully compose myself, so that I don't give away anything. Taking a deep breath, I approach Henry, Mat, and Bryan, who are still laughing and joking. I force a casual smile on my face, and slip the mirror into my pocket.

"Hey, you two," I say, keeping my voice cheerful. "I need to steal Henry away from you two for a minute."

At this, Henry's head swivels to me, and I can see him trying to conceal a mixture of fear and betrayal. The look stings, and I have to keep myself from wincing at the fear in his eyes.

He's Bae's son. He thought I was his friend. And now he knows that I've betrayed him.

Bryan and Mat don't seem to notice the look at all. Mat just shrugs, while Bryan nods.

"Sure, Vin," Bryan replies, nudging Henry over to me.

Henry steps forward, but I can see that he seems to be torn between wanting to stay or talk to me. On the one hand, he knows that I've lied to him, and that I kept secrets from him. On the other, as far as he knows, he doesn't know that I found the mirror. He might try to pretend he doesn't know, to see how much I've lied about.

"Come on, Henry," I say, holding out my hand. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

Henry nods, and starts to walk, but he doesn't take my hand.

I bite my tongue, telling myself that it shouldn't hurt, and that I don't blame him for not trusting me anymore. I guess it just feels like I let Bae down. I promised I would take care of his son, but instead I only hurt him even more.

Silently, I lead Henry away, to the edge of camp. I can't risk being overheard, just in case someone tries to report back to Pan. I could probably stop them, but all the same...gods, I hope it doesn't come to that.

Once we stop, Henry looks at me expectantly, but I can see the silent accusation in his eyes. It hurts like hell, and I have to remind myself that I have no one to blame but myself for it. I drop the cheerful act, and look Henry in the eye.

"Something you want to tell me, Henry?" I ask, sternly. I can't afford to be whimsical or friendly. If we have a traitor in our midst, I have to root them out fast.

Henry meets my stern look, and for a second, I see some sort of fear flash in his eyes. However, he quickly covers it up, and puts on a confused expression.

"What do you mean?" he asks, slowly, his tone reflecting his so called confusion.

_Huh. The kid isn't bad. He might have to work on lying a little more, but if I didn't know him, I might buy it. Unfortunately for him, I know him, and I know that he's lying. _

"Maybe this?" I offer, taking the mirror out of my pocket, and holding it up for him to see.

The moment he sees it, I can see another wave of fear and anger flash across his features, as he realizes that the jig is up. He snatches at the mirror, but I pull it out of his reach, before pocketing it again. As soon as I do, Henry's face gives way to fear, as he watches me pocket the mirror.

"H-how did you find that?" he asks, staring at where I put it. Instinctively, I cover my pocket to make sure he won't try to steal it from there.

_Damn, I don't want to be his enemy. I don't want to confront him on this. But if I don't, no one else will, and then Pan will figure out the truth and hurt Henry. I can't let that happen. _

"You didn't exactly hide it, Henry," I reply, crossing my arms.

At this, Henry shakes his head, then glares up at me.

"You knew!" he exclaims accusingly. "You knew that my family was here."

Yes, I knew all along, but I didn't say a word because it was the only way to save my brothers. I had to give up one family to save my own. I hate it, and I wish I never had to make this choice, but I made it and I have to stick with it.

"Henry," I start, but Henry cuts me off.

"You lied to me!" he snaps. "You pretended to be my friend, but you were lying to me the entire time."

Something about those words strikes something inside me. Maybe it's because every word is true, maybe it's because I said the exact same things to Pan when I found out the truth about Bae.

_I really have become like Pan. I've lied and manipulated this kid, to achieve my own ends. Just as Pan did with me. The only difference is that to Pan it's a game, and to me it's the life or death of my family. _

"Henry, I _am_ your friend," I tell him, though part of me knows it's another lie. If I were his friend, I'd be getting him the hell off this island.

One look in Henry's eyes, and I know he believes it just as much as I do.

"Friends don't lie to each other, Vin," he retorts, angrily. "And all you've done is lie to me. My family is here, and you didn't tell me!"

_Gods, I know I deserve every word. I deserve everything that he's saying. But I have no idea where Pan is, or when he'll be back. If he comes back, and learns what I know….this won't be good. I need to find out who gave him the mirror now, before Pan finds out himself. _

"Henry, listen-" I try, and I realize how much I sound like Pan when he tried to defend himself about Bae.

"Why?" Henry asks, sarcastically, much like I would to Pan. "You lied to me before, won't you lie to me again?"

"You're right!" I snap suddenly, taking us both by surprise. "You're right, Henry, I lied. Because there was no other choice."

Henry looks at me in shock, and I almost can't believe it myself. I didn't expect to tell him, not like this. But for some reason, something in me just has had enough with the lies, the manipulations, and everything that Pan has dragged me through, and that I'm dragging Henry through. I bend down so that I'm eye level with Henry, and I gently touch his shoulder. To my surprise, he doesn't move away.

"Henry, you need to understand," I say, my tone much calmer. "You are our last hope. You are _my _last hope. There are things at stake here that I can't afford to lose. I know I lied to you, and that I should have told you that your family is here. But I couldn't take that risk. There is too much going on, too much at stake, and I couldn't take the chance."

I meet Henry's eyes, and somehow, somehow, they have marginally softened.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I never wanted to lie to you, or to hurt you. I never wanted to be anything but a friend to you. But if you don't help us, if you don't save us...Henry, I'm so sorry."

For some reason, this feels right. It's what I've wanted to tell him, ever since the beginning. That I don't want to hurt him, that I never wanted it to be like this. That I have to, because I cannot lose my brothers.

Maybe I should have told him this from the start. Told him that I was sorry for everything that we did to get him here, and that would hurt him.

Henry looks at me, and I can see the indecision in his eyes, as if he's trying to figure out if he still trusts me or not.

_Don't trust me, Henry. Run. Run away, and go back to your family. Let us find some other way, so that we don't have to hurt you. _

"What's going on, Vin?" he asks softly. "Why did Pan bring me here? Why do you need the Heart of the Truest Believer?"

I look at him, and something tells me these questions have been weighing on him for such a long time. And I don't blame him. Pan never explained fully. How could he? How could he tell a little boy that the lives of our family depend on him dying? I can see why he would have so many questions, and why he feels he has to ask now.

Because he sees that something is going on. He knows that I wouldn't have lied if it wasn't important. He wants to know. He has the right to know, just as Bae did when I told him I couldn't lose my brothers.

_I can't do it. I can't. I can't burden him with this. He's such a small boy, an innocent kid. I can't put this on him, I can't make him suffer knowing these lives are in his hands. I couldn't put Bae, or my brothers, through it and I won't do it to this boy either. _

I realize that tears are pooling in my eyes, and I raise my hand to touch Henry's face. Now that I know, I see the similarities. In the face, the eyes. In how he asks questions, how he's always ready to help. To be the one for people to open up to.

_Too much is happening. Too much is going on. I can't tell him, not now. Now, my focus has to be finding out who gave the mirror to him, and who I need to hide from Pan. _

"Henry," I murmur. "I can't tell you."

His eyes flash with anger, and he pulls back, looking ready to bark a retort.

_He was giving me an opportunity_, I realize. _A chance to tell him the truth, and not lie anymore. And I blew it. _

"What do you mean?" he asks angrily. "I need to know what's going on if-"

"Henry, listen," I say, cutting him off. "I want to tell you. Believe me, I do. More than anything, I wish I didn't have to lie to you. But right now, I need to take care of another serious problem. I need to know how you got the mirror. I know you got it from one of the boys, and I need to know who gave it to you."

_But Henry isn't listening to me. I've lost my chance. And with it, I've killed my brothers. _

"Why?" he snaps. "So that you can attack my family? So you can lock them up, to keep them away from me?"

That's exactly what Pan is doing with Bae. That's what he'd probably do with all of them if he got the chance.

_But I can't tell him that. Not right now. I have to watch out for Bae's son, like I promised, and right now he can't know the truth. _

"Henry, I know that they are your family," I reply, carefully. "And I know you love them. Trust me, they love you too. But that's exactly why I need to know. If they find you, they will fight for you. They won't hesitate to hurt one of the Lost Ones to find you. If they were able to get a mirror into our camp without us knowing, how do we know they won't get something in that will hurt us?"

Henry still looks doubtful, but I keep going at full force.

"Henry, I promise," I continue. "I'm not trying to keep them out, or keep them away from you. I'm trying to protect my family, just as you would. And if I'm going to do that, I need to know who they've gotten to, before anyone gets hurt. Because if Pan finds out that someone gave you this, he will hurt them."

I take the mirror out again, and hold it up to emphasize my point. Henry's gaze flickers from me, to the mirror, then to me again. I can see that my words have at least gotten to him. He still wants to see his family again. But now, he still is considering what I'm saying. That he needs to tell me before one of us get hurt in the process.

"Henry, I swear," I say, almost pleadingly. "I will tell you everything, as soon as I get the chance. But right now, I need to know who gave you the mirror."

_Come on, Henry. Come on. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I need to know. It's the only way I can save one of my brothers. _

Henry looks down at the ground, and I can see him blink, as he thinks it over. I bite my lip, and realize that I'm holding my breath. If I'm going to find whoever it is, I have to know now.

"If I tell you," Henry whispers, before looking me in the eyes. "Do you promise not to tell Pan? About what I saw in the mirror?"

Why do I feel relief suddenly rushing through me? I should be furious at his request. I should say that it's impossible, that I have to tell Pan what has happened. But for some reason, I'm glad he asked me. I'm glad that he doesn't want me to tell Pan what is going on.

_Why is it like this? Because I don't want to kill him? Because he's Bae's son, and he deserves to know his family is here, and that they love him? Because I care about him? _

I nod, shoving my thoughts aside. I can consider these things later. Right now, my focus has to be finding who gave Henry the mirror, and getting them away from Pan.

"You have my word," I promise. "Pan will never know."

I feel something inside me clench, and I realize I've crossed a line. I've sworn to keep secrets from Pan, secrets that could stop us from getting the heart. Secrets that could save my brothers. If Pan finds out about this, that I've betrayed him again…

As I think this, the bruises on my arm and shoulder flash in my mind, and I shake my head to clear it. Pan crossed the line when he took Bae. I'll still work to get Henry's heart, I'll still save my brothers. But I will not lay down and let Pan walk all over me, because I'm afraid of him. I've been afraid of him and what he will do to me for far too long.

_And yet,_ a nasty voice in the back of my mind says, _you do not have to fear what he will do to you. You are a Dreamer, you still have some value to him. But he does have Bae. So while he might not harm you, he could easily harm Bae to get to you. _

I inhale, trying to keep Henry from seeing what I'm thinking. He can't know that I'm already doubting my decision, lest he fear that I go back on our deal. But I won't. I made him a promise, and I will keep it. I also made a promise to Bae that I would look after his son.

As soon as this thought comes to me, I realize that I have done the right thing, in making this promise to Henry. I would gladly suffer it meant Bae taking care of my family. Something tells me that Bae is ready to do the same. If this deal helps me fight Pan, and saves at least one brother, then it is worth it. It _has_ to be worth it.

Henry glances down again, before looking up at me. Something tells me he was struggling to make a choice, the same way I was. And neither of us noticed that the other had their doubts.

_Not bad, kiddo. Not bad at all. _

"It was Devon," Henry finally murmurs. "Devon gave me the mirror."

_Devon...it was Devon...Devon..._

I have to exhale very, very slowly to keep myself under control. Inside, though, I'm screaming.

Devon wouldn't do that. He wouldn't turn on us, giving Henry the mirror. He didn't just bully Henry to get him the mirror. I know my brother, I know how he thinks, and he wouldn't do that.

"Are you sure, Henry?" I ask, though it's more for my own reassurance than anything else.

Henry nods, and I can tell he's grasped the seriousness of the situation.

"I thought he wanted to fight again," he replies. "But then he showed me the mirror, and walked away. I don't know why he did, he just…"

Henry trails off, but I know what he means. Devon just went ahead and gave him the mirror. And it's not what my brother would do. He wouldn't just give Henry the mirror. Not after he fought Henry, trying to hurt him. He wouldn't suddenly help him, and show his family. If anything, I'm surprised he got back so early from...from his hunting.

_Gods, that's it. He must have found the Evil Queen and the others when he was out hunting, and somehow, somehow, they persuaded him to give Henry the mirror. _

But that's not Devon. He would see this as a betrayal. He wouldn't just take the mirror, and give it to Henry. Something else is going on here. If it was any other boy, I might have my doubts, but I know Devon. We aren't close, but I know he would not do something like this, even if they threatened to kill him.

"Henry, thank you," I say, sincerely, before standing up straight.

"You won't tell?" Henry asks, and I nod reassuringly.

_His secret is safe with me. I might betraying Pan, or signing my own death warrant, but I will keep his secret safe. I owe him that much._

"I promise," I reply. "I won't say anything. Now go, and act as if nothing is going on. Leave the rest to me."

Henry nods, and hurries back into camp, not saying a word. I'll have to trust that he'll be able to keep the secret on his own. I could probably help him come up with an explanation as to why he might act a little strange, but for now I have to focus on finding Devon.

_Devon...why would Devon do this? None of it adds up. It would be like Felix suddenly turning against Pan. It doesn't make sense. _

But he did it. He gave Henry the mirror, and put everything we've worked for at risk. In doing so, he put the lives of everyone in danger. Himself, Marcus, the younger ones, Felix. All in danger because Devon somehow thought it was a good idea to give him the mirror.

_I shouldn't help him. He put everything at risk. If he is stupid enough to let Pan figure out that he betrayed us, maybe he deserves what Pan will do to him. _

As soon as the thought comes to me, I force it aside. That sort of thinking is wrong. That's how Pan thinks. That's how he justifies locking Bae in a cage, and giving me bruises when he's frustrated. If one risks everything, throws a wrench into his plans, and is caught, he's justified in hurting them.

And he'll do the same to Devon. He needs me, so he won't hurt me in front of anyone. But Devon? Devon he can make an example of. Make him suffer, to ensure that no one else turns on him. To make sure that we obey him, and him alone.

I look down at the mirror in my hand, and I suddenly know what I have to do. I can't let Pan find out the truth about Devon. Even if Devon betrayed us, I will not leave him to be Pan's example. To get hurt far worse than Pan has ever hurt me.

I imagine the mirror shattering to pieces, and imagine those pieces to be dust. The mirror immediately breaks in my hand, and shards dissolve, until I'm holding nothing more than a handful of finely grained, metallic dust. Turning, I toss the dust into the forest, letting it scatter among the foliage. And with it, any evidence that Devon betrayed us.

_I chose my brothers, not Pan. So I'll be damned if I let him touch them or hurt them the way he's hurt me. _

With that thought, I dust my hands clean, and head back to camp. Devon and I need to have a little talk.

I see him standing off to the side, sharpening a new spear. I guess he's have to make a new one, if Henry broke his other one. His cut is still on his cheek, and it still looks very fresh. Again, I wish Pan had just let me clean it. It isn't fair to make him have a constant reminder Henry beating him on his face, for the rest of his life.

_Is that why you betrayed us, Devon? Because Pan has humiliated you too many times? I can understand that. He's hurt me a lot too. But I didn't go betraying us and showing Henry his family. _

But I did go with Bae. Who had Henry with him. To them, that's the same thing and there's no use denying that. Marcus might not see it, but Pan and Felix do, and they have made it clear that I won't be forgiven easily.

_That's why I have to figure this out for Devon now. Before they learn of it. So that I can help him before they start hurting him as they hurt me. _

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to Devon, keeping myself at a casual pace.

"Devon," I say, my voice falsely cheerful. "You're back."

Devon jumps, as if startled, before he looks up at me. For a second he looks terrified, but he quickly covers it. Just this small action is enough for me to know the truth. He's hiding something. He's hiding something, and he's terrified that Pan knows. Or that I know.

"Sorry," I say, holding my hands up innocently. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Devon hastily looks down, muttering something about how I didn't scare him.

He has never acted like this before. He's nervous, on edge. This isn't him. Something is wrong, I feel it.

_Right, I can't confront him here. Too many ears. _

"Walk with me?" I ask.

Devon shrugs, going back to sharpening his spear.

"I'm kind of busy, Vin," he replies, his eyes focused on the spear. "Maybe later?"

_Right, I don't have time for this. I'm trying to save his ass, and if I'm going to do that, I need to figure out what happened here and now. _

Without a word, I sit down next to him, and imagine the spear finished. Devon keeps sharpening for a minute, before he realizes that something has changed. He pauses, then looks up at me, in both annoyance and...fear. He must realize that I know something, and that scares him. It scares me even more.

"What's your problem, Vin?" he asks, angrily.

_What's my problem? My problem? I'm not the one who stabbed his family in the back, and will get flayed alive if Pan finds out. _

"Like I said," I almost snarl through clenched teeth. "Walk. With. Me."

Devon meets my eyes, and I see the same fear in Henry's eyes only moments ago when I revealed the mirror. He knows that I've figured out what he's done.

_Oh, Devon, why? Why didn't you come to me to talk about this? Why did you turn your back on us like this? _

With a sigh, Devon drops his spear, and gets to his feet. For a second, he's back to his usual self, and I want so badly for it to stay that way. But something has changed, I can tell, and if I don't figure out what, I'm going to lose one of my brothers. One of the people I swore I would fight for. I have to protect him, before Pan decides to make an example of him.

Nodding my head away from camp, I walk beside him, imagining a knife up my sleeve. I hope I won't have to use it, but if Devon has truly betrayed us, I may have to defend myself. I can't be sure. No one seems to notice him and I, although Marcus glances at me and cocks an eyebrow, as if to ask me if I'm alright. I nod, and he goes back to feeding the fire.

As soon as Devon and I reach the edge of camp, Devon turns around to face me, all facades dropped. I can see on his face a real desperation. One that I've felt before so many times before. Hell, I felt it just now, when I had to convince Henry to tell me who gave him the mirror.

And he's scared. I see it. My brother is truly scared that I found out the truth. And I'm not sure if that makes me glad or upset.

_He should be scared. He betrayed us. He should be worried. But...damn it, he's my brother. I love him, and I can't let him get hurt. _

"Vin, it's not what you think," he says quickly.

_Not what I think? I'm not even sure what the hell I think. All I know is that he gave Henry a mirror that showed the kid his family, and put this entire thing in jeopardy. _

"And what's that, Devon?" I ask icily, crossing my arms. "That you gave Henry the mirror that showed him his family, when we've been trying to convince him to be one of us? That you put the lives of everyone here at risk, possibly wasting years of work and effort to try to find this boy? Because that's what it looks like."

Devon shakes his head, before turning and running his hands through his hair like he doesn't know what to do with them.

_Gods, I've never seen him like this. This is bad. He might have bullied Henry, but he's always sure with where he stands. Now he looks so lost that I'm sure he would hear the pipes if Pan was playing them. _

"Oh gods," he mutters. "Gods, Pan is going to kill me."

I blink, not expecting this. He knows that Pan will hurt him if he finds out. He knows the consequences. He knows what will happen to him if Pan gets ahold of him.

But he gave Henry the mirror anyway...why?

_There's something I'm missing. Deep down, I can feel it. One piece of the puzzle that I know is here, but I can't see. But when I do see it, it will explain everything. But, damn it, what am I missing? _

"Maybe he should," I snap, the words coming out without thinking. "Devon, don't you get just how much you messed up? You didn't just make the entire plan fall apart, you put your own life at risk with Pan, and now the lives of every boy here. Gods, you risked the younger ones' lives, Devon! Toodles, Slightly, the Twins, everyone! They're all in danger from what you did."

_No, I can't think like that. That would make me like Pan. But, damn it, he just put the lives of his entire family at risk for what? What would make him betray his family like this? I know my brothers and none of them would ever do this. Not even Marcus, and he's probably the most sympathetic of us. _

"I didn't want to!" Devon shouts, turning back to me, his eyes wide. He looks so scared, that it takes all my self restraint not to hug him right here, and tell him it's alright.

"I-I told them I wouldn't do it," he goes on, his lip trembling. Gods, he looks like he's about to cry. "I told them to forget it. That I wouldn't betray Pan and my family. But then she...she…"

At this, he looks at me desperately, as if begging me to understand. Like he wants so badly to explain it, but something's holding him back.

_Who is "she?" There are four women in their group, counting Tinkerbell. _

He looks so scared...I have to make myself calm down. I can't lose control, it will only make things worse.

"Devon," I say slowly, trying to keep my head. "What happened? What did they do?"

He sighs, as he looks me in the eye. He looks scared, miserable, tired, and lost. My brother. My brother, one of the people I've worked to protect for years. How did he get here? How did he fall so far that he would betray us? How did I let this happen?

"I-I was out h-hunting," he stammers. "After I fought with Henry. I needed to clear my head. So I started tracking a boar, to bring back to camp. But just as I cornered it, I got caught in the net. It was a trap, that the Savior, Evil Queen, and Snow White set up. They tried to convince me to betray Pan, and leave Neverland with them. I told them to stick it, so the Evil Queen...she...she…"

At this, his jaw clamps tight, as if he's forcing himself not to speak. I lift my eyebrow questioningly, silently telling him to continue. He doesn't.

"She what, Devon?" I ask, gently. "What did she do to you?"

Devon shakes his head, and looks like he wants nothing more to tell me. So why doesn't he? Why doesn't he just tell me? What am I missing?

"I can't tell you," he whispers. "She told me not to."

_And that's supposed to matter? She's the one who trapped him. I'm his sister. Why won't he tell me? _

"I don't care," I reply, keeping back my frustration. "Tell me."

Devon only looks more frustrated, like he wants nothing more than to scream it to me, but he can't.

"I can't!" he all but shouts.

I feel the frustration rising inside me, and it starts to come out.

"Why-" I start, angrily, when he grabs my hand.

Before I can ask what he's doing, he puts my hand on his chest, over his heart.

_What? _

I give him a confused look, but he meets it with a pleading look, as if begging me to figure out what's going on.

"Devon," I murmur. "What-"

"Feel it, Vin," he replies, cutting me off. "Feel what's there."

I look back to my hand on his chest, trying to feel for what's there like he says. But it's normal. It feels normal. There isn't anything that shouldn't be there. But something is off. I don't know what. It feels like there isn't anything that shouldn't be there.

That's when it hits me. I'm not feeling for what's there. I'm feeling for what's _not_ there.

My hand is over his heart, yet I don't feel a heartbeat.

My eyes widen, as the pieces all fall into place. She...the Evil Queen who specialized in ripping out hearts. Bringing Henry the mirror, then not saying a word, because she has his heart, and told him not to. He wanted so badly to tell me, but it was physically impossible, as long as she holds his heart.

_Gods...she took his heart! That bitch ripped my brother's heart out! And for what? So that she could get a message, using my brother as a delivery boy and if Pan found out, Devon would take the fall for it. And if Pan finds out the truth, all she has to do is crush his heart. _

I look at Devon, and I now understand why he's so terrified. He can't tell anybody to get help, but if Pan found out about the mirror, he would have killed Devon, and my brother wouldn't have been able to defend himself. All because the Evil Queen ripped his heart out.

"Gods," I whisper. "Devon…"

Devon looks on the verge of tears, and I immediately hug him. I can understand why he's terrified. I'm scared for him now. The Evil Queen has his heart. If she wants to, all she has to do is squeeze, and she'll kill one of my brothers in one of the most excruciating ways.

As soon as I have my arms around him, he buries his face into my shoulder, and breaks down into silent sobs. I can't imagine what he's feeling. He must be so scared about someone finding out. I found out, and I immediately assumed he betrayed us. Pan would have done the same. And if he hadn't showed me about his heart, I would still believe he was a traitor.

I hold him as long as he needs, rubbing soothing circles around his back.

"It's going to be okay," I say gently. "It's going to be fine. We're going to get you out of this. I'm not going to let her hurt you. I promise."

It takes Devon a few minutes to calm down, but eventually he pulls back, wiping his eyes.

_This shouldn't have happened. I should never have followed Hook and David's trail. I should have kept looking for Devon. Maybe he wouldn't be in this situation then. _

No, I can't blame myself. It isn't my fault that this happened. It isn't Devon's fault. It's the woman who ripped out his heart, and is using it against him.

Devon finally takes a deep breath, and seems to have regained his composure. He still looks afraid, but now that I know what happened, I think he's glad that someone was able to figure it out.

I will get him out of this. I don't care what I have to do, I'm getting him out of this.

"Alright," I say, keeping my voice calm but not commanding. "Think you can pretend like nothing is wrong for a few more hours?"

Devon nods, standing a little straighter.

He's braver than Pan might give him credit for. He was able to keep it together until he realized I knew about the mirror. Now he's able to keep on a brave face to keep the camp going into panic. He might bully Henry, but my brother is not a coward.

"Okay," I say. "Go back to camp, but keep your head down. Don't draw attention to yourself. I'm going to ask one of the others for help. Sit tight, alright? I'm going to get you out of this, I swear."

Devon nods, any traces of his breakdown gone. He stands straight, as if he and I just had a casual conversation, before walking back towards camp.

"Thanks, Vin," he whispers.

_He shouldn't thank me yet. I haven't done anything yet. _

"Thank me when you have your heart back in your chest," I reply, dryly, my mind racing to put together some sort of plan.

Pan isn't here. For once, I wish he was back here. If there was ever a time that I would turn to him for help, if there was anyone I could count on to get Devon's heart back, it would be him. But he isn't here, so I have to turn to something else. And I have no idea what to do. Just that I have to get my brother's heart back.

The Evil Queen ripped out his heart. She ripped out his heart, forced him to keep silence, deliver a message against his will, and now she can crush it without a second thought. I remember her, and what she did from my dreams. She killed for less. She killed an engaged couple just because it was the anniversary of her lover's death. She killed peasants for protecting Snow White. I don't have any doubt that she will crush Devon's heart if she wants. Maybe she'll do it to hurt Pan, maybe for the hell of it, but she will do it unless I get my brother's heart back.

This hits me with such an intensity that I have to lean on a tree for support. My brother's life could end a flash, unless I do something about it. Unlike what we're doing with Henry, this is happening here and now. I don't know how much time I have, and it isn't because Pan is dying. It's because one wicked woman decided to reduce my brother to a tool for her to use.

Well, I've been a tool. Pan used me to free Bae, and thus ensure that Henry would be born. He uses me for my magic, and for whatever sick pleasure he gets out of bruising me. And I won't let my brother become one as well.

_I've been playing nice,_ I realize. _I gave them the herbs for the prince's wound, I spared them when I met them at Tink's tree house, and every time I have seen them from a distance, I've could have killed them with only a little bit of imagination. But I didn't. Because I thought it would be better if they lived._

And where did this get me? They have my brother's heart, and they are going to exploit that with every opportunity they get. Hell, I'm surprised they haven't even offered a trade yet: Henry for Devon's heart. And the sad thing is that I know Pan will never agree to that bargain.

They take my brother's heart. They turn him into a dog on their leash. Well, I'm not standing for that. They need to know what happens when one messes with my family.

_You want a war?_ I think, remembering how the Savior and Hook refuse to trust me for what I am. _You make me your enemy because I'm a Lost Girl? Fine. It's time you realize what happens you make an enemy out of me. _

It's time to end this. To hell with giving them a sporting chance, or not hurting them because they're Henry and Bae's family.

They want a war, so I'll bring it to them.

* * *

**A/N: Oh dear... **

Alright...I'll say it again...I'm really, really sorry about the late update. After the holidays, my schedule became swamped with work, and I've been super busy with my job and home life. Plus, this chapter was incredibly hard to write. I had to write, edit, re-write, take out parts completely, etc. But, I am looking forward to this next chapter, so hopefully it won't be over a month before my next update. Again, thank you so much for your patience. I know it's not easy when the writer takes over a month to post a new chapter.

Also, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for putting in their thoughts about the sequel or AU! I was blown away at how many people responded. I had no idea y'all were so invested in this story, and where it goes. It really means a lot to me, and I appreciate all of y'all's thoughts. I'm definitely taking your thoughts into account, and y'all all made good arguments for which story should be written first. I'll let y'all know when there are more developments about the sequel vs AU. Ultimately, the sequel will be written eventually, it's just a matter of whether or not I write the AU first or not.

A special thanks to **The Dreamer of the Opera, 1211, Being Normal Is Boring, speedy00, .belle, xxkimbobxx, WiccanWitch82, harrypotter9398, **and **CPcat13** for putting this story on alert, and to **The Dreamer of the Opera, ZodacShazam, 1211, Ally of Darkness, Still a Lover of Franchises, OCCentric, ikkee33, noqualms, ShashaPayne56, .belle, Cails123, waterlily0777, xxkimbobxx, MissReader09, WiccanWitch82, bookbunnyx, **and** Bl4ck-R0se **for putting this story on alert.

Also, thank you **Authora97, Shinonome Sakuya, LunaEvanna Longbottom, CrossingtheDelaware, ColdHeartAngel, SilverFury01, spatterson, scorpiongirl92, chinaluv, mercenary2.0, GeeBrittany, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, Charmedhpgirl, AsaraSahara, Deadly Papegoja, TheSarcasticAngel, Female whovian, katerinamak2015, sophiewhettingsteel, HOAfan8509**, NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, shootingstar1618, and the many guests who left reviews. And, as always thank you **Uncommon fairy** for putting up with my incessant nagging to read the chapter, and giving feedback.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Vin's talk with Henry, her discovery with Devon, and what will happen next are greatly appreciated. **:) **


	56. Chapter 56

"So, let me see if I got this," says Marcus. "The Evil Queen and the others attacked Devon while he was out hunting, and they ripped his heart out. Now they're using him as a spy, and possibly as a means to rescue Henry."

I nod, glad that Marcus was able to catch on quickly. I only gave him a quick version, because I want to head out as soon as possible. Even though it meant not mentioning Henry and the mirror. I guess since I promised the kid I wouldn't tell anyone, I'm keeping that promise. For once.

Hell, it took every fiber of control that I had not to go after the animals who took my brother's heart as soon as Devon was in camp. I just...I can't believe this is happening. My brother is in danger, and if we don't get his heart back soon, I don't doubt the Evil Queen will use him against us. Whether as a hostage or a spy, I don't know. But if we don't go along with it, she'll kill him without blinking an eye. If I'm going to save Devon, it has to be now, while I still have the element of surprise.

_But no. It wouldn't be smart, going in alone. I can take on the Evil Queen, and maybe another one the fighters. I don't think David would try to hurt me, but that still leaves Snow White and Hook, who has made it clear which side I'm on. And there's Emma, who has unbelievably huge stores of magic inside of her. There is no way I can take all of them, no matter how angry I am. Not on my own. _

Marcus bites his lip, before looking away. For a second, he doesn't do anything.

_Come on, Marcus. You are all I've got right now. Gods know where Pan and Felix are right now, and you are the only one I can trust right now._

Marcus suddenly lets out a frustrated yell, and punches a nearby tree. As soon as he does, he lets out a grunt of pain, and looks down at his hand.

_Not good. I don't need him injured. Not now. There is too much at stake. _

Without waiting, I take his hand, and examine it. He's split the skin on his knuckles, and he's definitely going to have a bruise. Damn it.

I sigh, and imagine a bandage over his hand, before looking at him. He looks a little embarrassed that he let his temper get the better of him, but there's a familiar anger in his eyes. The kind that sucks up everything and replaces it with rage. I know it, because I'm feeling it in me as well.

_They invade our home, they make war with us, and now this with Devon. They rip out his heart, and turn him into their puppet. It's sick, and I'm not going to let it stand. _

"Calm down," I mutter, but Marcus only squeezes his fist even tighter.

"Calm down?" he repeats. "They took Devon's heart, Vin! Don't tell me to calm down, tell me where they are so I can strangle them!"

A few minutes ago, I wanted to do just that. I wanted to hunt them down and bring back their heads along with Devon's heart. But if we can't do that. We lose control, and we could make the situation worse. We could get hurt, or worse, caught and our own hearts ripped out. There's no way we can help Devon if they catch us too.

"Listen!" I snap. "I know that you're mad. I am too, dammit! But we lose our heads, and they win. They get control, and then how will that help Devon? I am mad, but I am not about to lose another brother because I let anger get the better of me."

Marcus meets my eyes, and I can see my words are getting to him. He's not stupid. He sees it as well as I do. He's all I have right now to fight this, and I need him to keep his head.

_The situation already feels like it's out of my hands but if I lose this, I may as well go to my tree house and sleep for all the good I'll be able to do. Because there is no way I can fight the others while trying to reign in an angry brother. _

Finally, Marcus exhales, and his eyes clear a bit.

"Okay," he says, fingering the bandage. "What do we do?"

I sigh, sweet relief flooding through me. He's calmed down. He's going to help. We're going to get Devon out of this.

"We'll need a team," I reply. "To keep the fighters at bay while I try to get the heart. Enough that all of us get out in one piece. We don't want too many people."

That's how I would do it anyway. Enough to fight the others while I fight the Evil Queen and get the heart back. Just like the skirmish we had days ago, except this time ready to attack and hurt if we have to. This isn't a game anymore. It stopped being a game when they took my brother's heart.

"Gods, what I wouldn't give for Pan to be here right now," I mutter, surprised to hear the words come out. "If we ever needed him, it's now."

Almost as if on cue, I feel a jolt of familiar twisted magic, that is followed by a laugh.

"Do my ears deceive me?" Pan asks, as I turn to face him.

He's grinning from ear to ear, looking very satisfied with himself. Felix is right behind him, looking less smug, but pretty pleased. That is, until he sees me and immediately looks away.

I haven't talked to him since the other night. Or, more he hasn't talked to me, and has avoided me in general. Because I haven't made my choice.

_Well, I have now, so if he can bloody well get over himself, maybe we can actually work together. _

The thought is satisfying, but I still have to hold back the jolt of pain at the memory of him walking away from me. My brother, the one I could always depend on, turning his back on me because he thought I betrayed him. Even though I never wanted hurt him. Even after this, I still don't.

_And he still avoids me anyway. _

"Did I just hear Vin say that she needs me?" Pan asks, mockingly. "Honestly, darling, I was wondering when you were going to come around. What took you so long?"

The comments might be sarcastic, but I can't help but remember the look in his eyes when he gave me the last set of bruises. I glance at Marcus, and I can tell by his face that he's thinking the same thing. He glances at me, as if to ask me if he needs to intervene.

_No. It's nothing. It's just a joke, there's nothing to it. I don't need another problem, with Marcus confronting Pan. Not with everything that is going on. _

I slightly shake my head, before turning back to Pan and Felix.

"Trust me," I say, flatly. "I wouldn't say it unless it was necessary. There something you need-"

I stop mid-sentence as Pan lifts something to his mouth and takes a bite, his eyes still on me.

"What is that?" I ask, looking at the object he just ate.

Pan blinks before looking down at the food stuff. It looks like some sort of egg-biscuit.

"Oh, this?" he asks, casually. "Eggs-in-a-basket. I used to make them all the time. Want one?"

He holds the egg out to me, as if he wants me to take it.

For some reason, the simple gesture makes me even angrier. Devon is in trouble. He's in trouble, with his heart ripped out of his chest. He's scared, and we're his only hope, and that means going up against the Evil Queen to get his heart back. Not to mention that Henry now knows his family is here and that we've been lying to him, and everything we've worked for in the last nineteen years is falling apart.

And what is Pan doing? Standing casually, as if nothing is wrong, eating eggs like it's just another day.

Without thinking, I slap the eggs out of his hand. Pan looks up at me in both surprise and anger. The same anger he had when he grabbed he and gave me a new set of bruises. The anger that I'm defying him, yet again.

"Vin-" he says warningly, but I don't let him get a word in.

Because I am sick of this. I'm sick of this game, how thinks he can push me around, when I dare to go against his back. We have done this dance so many times, and each time he pushes me down. Well, I'm through with that. My brother is in danger. Devon's life is in the balance here, so I really couldn't care less about his stupid eggs, or that I wounded his pride. I just want my brother safe.

"Save it!" I hiss. "I don't want to hear it, alright?"

Pan just glares, but Felix seems surprised by my reaction. At least, he's looking at me again, which I suppose is progress from completely ignoring me. I meet Felix's eyes, and this time he doesn't look away. He looks, and I can see that he's figured something out. That he realizes that something is wrong.

"What's going on, Vin?" he asks, quietly.

It's not forgiveness. It's as far from forgiveness as possible. He realizes there is something bigger than this grudge of his at stake, and unless we work together, something bad will happen.

I glance at Marcus, who gives me a warning look.

_Don't lose your head_, he seems to say.

_Right. Of course, Marcus is right. He can't go charging into save Devon, just like I can't lose my head and lash out at Pan. Especially when it's Devon's life on the line. _

I take a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down just a little. I can't let Pan rile me up. Not until Devon's heart is back in his chest, safe and sound.

"It's Devon," I explain, turning to Felix and Pan. "He's in trouble."

Felix looks surprised, but Pan doesn't react. Hie expression is calm, as if he's thinking, but his eyes are still lit with that malicious hunger every time he looks at me. I force myself to ignore the look as I tell them what I found.

For some reason, even now, I don't tell them about the mirror. I know that they can't blame Devon, so I don't know why I don't tell them.

_Yes you do_, I tell myself. _It's because you made that promise to Henry. And after everything you've done to the kid, everything you're planning to do, the least you can do is keep a secret for him. _

I know that I'm taking a huge risk in not saying anything. I know that if Pan finds out about this, I will suffer the consequences, whether by him hurting me physically, or with Bae. I know that Pan should know that our work, everything we have done in the past nineteen years almost went to waste.

_But...I promised the kid. I promised him and I want him to trust me. I don't want him to get hurt, and somehow I know that if I tell Pan what happened with the mirror, the kid will get hurt even more than I will by keeping his secret. _

"...that's when I realized there was no heartbeat," I finish. "After that, it was pretty easy to fill in the blanks. He must have stumbled on them while hunting, and they ripped out his heart."

I look up at the others' faces, trying to figure out what the story meant for them. I know how Marcus reacted, but after Pan reacted when Devon fought Henry, how he set him up to fail after he taught Henry magic, and wouldn't even let me treat the wound… I don't know.

Felix's look is the same one as Marcus. He's angry. Not at me, but at the whole idea. The idea that someone thought it would be alright to rip out our brother's heart, and think that it would be okay. To turn him into a puppet, put him in danger, and act like he doesn't matter. That there will be no consequences for doing this.

_He still cares. Maybe not for me, not anymore. He told me himself, he's done waiting for me. But he still cares for them. He still cares that Devon is in danger, and he's going to try to save him. Even if he doesn't care about me, I have another ally. _

Pan, however, has an unreadable expression. I can tell he was listening, but something, _something_, is off. I don't know what, but I just know that it's there.

"Alright," Marcus says, clearly ready to move. "I say we strike hard and fast. One or two more, plus the four of us. I say we take Rand, he's the second best tracker after Devon. Then Perrin, we need someone with a strong arm. Felix, you and I can take the pirate and the other fighters while Pan and Vin-"

"No."

All three of us turn to Pan, with his sudden interjection. His expression is still off, and for some reason, it makes me just as angry as the eggs. Maybe it's just me, but I'm tired of him and everyone else acting like Marcus is an idiot. He's not. His plan, at least what he had so far, was pretty promising.

"What?" I ask. "The plan is a good one. You have something better in mind?"

Pan shakes his head, and I finally realize what it was I was seeing. Resolve. Resignation. As if he's making a tough choice, and he knows there will be consequences.

_No. No way. No way is he about to say what I think he is. _

"No," Pan says. "There is no plan. We're not going after the heart."

The words are like a punch to the gut. They just knock everything else aside. Henry, the mirror, the bruises, Hook. All of it. It's just erased from those few words. It's like my mind has gone blank, and I can think of nothing else.

"What?" I whisper, unable to believe it.

Pan...he has always insisted that we are family. Brothers. I'm their sister, the Lost Girl. With that title, with making the boys family, there is a line. If you're family, you never leave anyone behind. That's what makes them family. You don't abandon them, and you don't leave them to fight on their own.

And yet here is Pan, saying that we leave Devon to fight his own battle, which will only get him killed.

I'm not the only surprised by this turn. Felix looks shocked, Marcus furious.

"What are you saying?" Marcus snaps. "That we just abandon him? Pretend this never happened?"

"Of course not," replies Pan, shaking his head. "When the time comes, we will get Devon's heart back. But not now."

All the fury I feel towards Henry's family, all the rage I have kept at bay since I realized what they did to Devon pushes to be let out, and to attack Pan.

"Now is the perfect time, Pan!" I argue. "Strike now, before they realize we know, and before they can use the heart to hurt Devon. Help him before things get worse. Because as long as they have a hostage and a spy, things _will_ get worse."

Pan turns to me angrily, but I hold my ground. He can attack me, verbally and physically. He can ask me to kill an innocent boy, and I will do it to save my family. But I am not about to abandon one of my brothers, just because he tells us too.

_Henry's death will be for nothing if that's how we act. We don't just kill an innocent boy to save our family, only to leave them on their own whenever they are in trouble. It's the line with family that is never, ever crossed. _

"I know he will get hurt, Vin," Pan says, and I can tell it's taking all he has to not lash out at me. "But right now, we have bigger problems. Things that require more of our attention."

So let me get this straight: in his opinion, there is something bigger than our brother's life that needs more attention. Is he insane?

I march over, my hands balled into fists.

"What, Pan?" my voice dangerously soft. "What is so important to you that we can risk Devon's life?"

I meet his eyes, daring him to answer. To tell me, for all his talk of family, just what he believes is more important than the lives of one of my brothers.

_I got into this fight for them. Every move I have made has been for my family. I will not abandon them because Pan tells me to. _

Pan looks me in the eye, and I can see the frustration in them. But it's not the angry frustration that Marcus, Felix, and I all have for the fools who took our brother's heart. It's frustration is towards me. _Because I am standing up to him. Because I'm not lying down and following his orders like a good little slave. Because I'm daring to question his orders, no matter how wrong they are. _

"The lives of everyone, Vin," he replies slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. "The lives of our entire family. That needs to be our focus. Now, more than ever."

_I can't believe this. He would say that all of us are more important than one? Since when? When was I never worth everyone's life? When was Felix not worth the risk? _

"So, what?" I ask, angrily. "We just leave Devon to the wolves while we sit back and coax Henry into giving us his heart? Pretend that nothing's wrong, that it's business as usual, while Devon suffers the consequences?"

"That's not what I'm saying, Vin," Pan snaps.

That's exactly what he's saying, and everyone here knows it

"Pan, what is the point of saving everyone's life if we don't move when one of ours is in trouble?" I ask.

"Vin, listen," Pan says, grabbing me by my arm.

I see Marcus twitch, but the grip is not hard as it was earlier. It's just firm, as if to get my attention.

"They have Devon's heart," Pan says slowly. "Which means they will use it to their advantage to rescue Henry. Which means, if we're going to get Henry's heart, we have to act now. We have to move, and get the heart, while we still can. Before they use Devon's heart to their advantage, and we all end up dead. What would be the point of putting lives at risk to save Devon, only to lose everyone a few days later?"

It makes sense. I can see it. It fits in perfectly.

_But it just isn't right, to abandon someone as if if nothing is wrong. Not with family. Not like Pan did to his son. Not like my own father did to me._

"I understand," Pan says, gently. "That we need to save Devon. And we will, Vin. I promise. But for now, we're running out of time. We have days, at the most now. We need the heart, and we need it now. Once we have saved everyone, once we know that our whole family is safe, we'll go after Devon. Do you want to save Devon, or do you want to save everyone? Toodles, Slightly, us?"

It's dirty. It's just dirty when he plays like that. Using my brothers against me, making me choose to take his side for the sake of my family. But it works. That's how he has made me go along with all of the terrible things he's done. Letting Bae rot in a cage, making Hook my enemy. Killing Henry. All for the sake of my family.

Pan steps back, and lets go of me. He looks at all three of us, his expression serious.

"I know it looks bad," he says. "But we can do it. We can get Henry's heart, and we can save everyone. After we do, we will save Devon, and we will make them regret the day they walked into Neverland. But for now, we have to focus on saving our whole family. And to do that, we need to work together. We need to be united, if we're going to save everyone. Alright?"

He looks at Felix, who looks like he's still considering.

"Felix?" he asks. "You've been quiet this whole time. What do you say?"

Felix looks from me to Marcus, to Pan, then back to me.

_Please Felix. Don't buy this. We've been doing this too long. Please, just take the time to save our brother. I know you would do the same if it was me. Or Pan, or Sebastian. Don't abandon Devon, not when he needs us. _

Almost involuntarily, he reaches out and touches the scar on his face. The one his father gave to him when he was a child.

"We've followed Pan this far," he mutters, almost to himself. "So far, all we've done is good. We're close to getting the heart. We're close to saving everyone. We have come too far to put that on hold."

He looks at me, almost apologetically, as if he knows it's not what I want to hear. But I see the look in his eyes, and I know what he's really saying. That he wants to do it. He wants to save Devon as badly as I do. But he still doesn't trust me, not after I left.

_So he turns to Pan. The one who he has always been loyal too. His brother in arms. He can trust him more than he can trust the sister who abandoned him for Baelfire. _

I feel another stab of pain, but I ignore it. Pain won't save Devon.

Pan nods, as if satisfied by his answer. He turns to me and takes a step forward, so that we're only inches apart.

"Vin?" he asks, softly.

I meet his eyes, and deep down I know. I just know what I have to do, consequences be damned.

I lower my eyes, and sigh.

"Alright," I murmur.

Pan gives me a gentle smile, before stepping forward, and kissing me on the forehead.

It takes all of my self control not to shudder at the kiss, but I can't suppress the shiver that runs down my spine. It feels wrong. It feels out of place, and wrong. He's happy. He's happy that I'm listening to him. Because he thinks it means that I'm giving into him. That I'm laying down without a fight.

Marcus's words haunt me: "_He looked like he was ready to kill you or tear your clothes off." _

Now my skin really is crawling.

"That's my girl," Pan whispers in my ear, before he steps back.

Forget stopping a shudder. I want to run right here and now.

Felix shows no reaction to this, except a confusion on his face, as if he isn't sure what's happening. Marcus, on the other hand, looks like he's ready to punch something. Again.

"Go back to, Henry," Pan orders, still looking down at me fondly. "See if you can make any progress with him. Felix and I have something to do, with a friend of ours."

It isn't until he says it that I realize he didn't even bother to ask Marcus's opinion. Probably because he knew that Marcus would protest.

_He also didn't say who it was they were going after,_ I note. _Which means he doesn't want me to know. Which means that they are going after Bae or Hook. _

No, I can't do anything. Right now, there's nothing I can do for them. Not right now. I will get Bae out of here, but for now, I need to focus on what I can change. And that's Devon.

I nod, as if obeying, and I gently take Marcus's arm. Marcus still looks furious, but he looks at me as if he can't believe it. As if he can't comprehend that I would agree with Pan, and just go along with it.

"Sure," I say, pulling Marcus away. "Come on, Marcus."

I see a satisfied glint pass through Pan's eyes, that's only slightly dampened when I touch Marcus. I force myself to ignore it, as I lead Marcus back to camp. I keep my stride casual, even though my mind is racing. My sixth sense is flared, sensing Pan's dark magic turning and going the opposite direction.

Good. For now, he's bought it.

As soon as we're out of earshot, I turn to Marcus urgently.

"How much time can you buy me?" I ask, all disguised agreement evaporating.

Marcus meets my eyes, and doesn't even question it. He understands immediately. Why I did what I did, why I said I would go along with Pan's plan. Because it was the only way to get Pan to look the opposite direction while I get Devon's heart back.

He looks in the direction Pan and Felix walked in, then back to me.

"Four hours," he replies, with a shrug. "Maybe five, if I get Mat to pretend and back up my story."

It will have to do. This is going to be harder than I thought. At least when Pan didn't know, I knew I could take a few boys I could trust, and we could get in and out with the heart easily. Now, it's just me. I'm on my own, and I can't take anyone with me. I need Marcus to stay to cover for me, and I con't are bring anyone into this, lest Pan find out and punish them.

"Good enough," I mutter, imagining knives up my sleeves and in my boots. "Keep an eye on Henry, but don't let on to where I am."

_I doubt that Henry will be too happy with the idea of me going after his family. Though, if he wants to keep the secret of the mirror, and if Marcus doesn't let on, then he shouldn't be able to figure it out. Hopefully. _

"Got it," Marcus replies, seriously.

He pauses for a moment, before looking to camp then to me.

"You should take someone with you," he says. "You can't face all of them alone."

He's right. I can't do this alone. There's no way I can take on all of them and get out in one piece.

But there's no one. I can't trust Tink, she's on their side. I can't take the boys.

My mind flashes to the dagger sitting in my mind box. If there was ever a time to have the Dark One at my beck and call…

_No. That's too dangerous. If Pan finds out what I'm doing, and he learns that I have the Dark One...then facing Henry's family might not be my biggest problem. No, for now, the Dark One's dagger has to stay hidden, safely out of both Pan and and the Dark One's reach. According to my agreement with his shadow…_

Wait...I was wrong. There is someone I can turn to. Someone who knows everything that goes on in Neverland, and has sworn to protect me. Someone who, if the Dark One's shadow is to be believed, has been keeping an eye on me even after I joined the Lost Ones.

"I won't be alone," I reply, making my way to the closest tree, so I can imagine a new zipline. "If I'm not back within a day, then something has gone wrong."

Marcus nods, and I start to climb the tree.

"What are you going to do?" he asks, as I make my way up the thick trunk.

I pause. I can't tell him. He won't like it if I do.

"I'm going to make a deal with the devil," I reply.

* * *

_Am I really doing this? _

I have had some bad ideas before. But this? This takes the cake. In all my years here, I don't think I've ever done anything this stupid. And that includes the time that I threw a bowl of poison at Pan.

I take a deep breath, and force myself to walk forward, closer to Dark Hollow. It's been years, yet the wild, chaotic feeling of Neverland's magic is all too familiar here.

The last time I was here, the Shadow tried to trap me here. Leave me to rot here, while Bae was tortured for me. Yet here I am, walking back of my own free will.

_I wouldn't do it unless I had a choice. And at this point, I have no other options, because of Pan. This is my only choice. _

I sigh, and enter the dark forest. It's just as I remember. Dark, as if by twilight. Trees all around, all dead. And the feeling of wildness and chaos, that tells me that this is a place overflowing with Neverland's magic. The perfect place for the Voice of Neverland.

As soon as I enter, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. As if someone is watching me.

Honestly, I haven't even been here for a minute. Already it's on me.

_I can only guess it knew that I was coming. Why else would it come so fast? _

"I know you're there," I call out, not even bothering to look around. "You can come out."

My sixth sense has already found it, but it still does nothing for me as I hear the cold, rattling breath of the Shadow, as it emerges from the trees.

It's just as I remember it. Glowing eyes, staring down at me. The cold breath that sends chills down my spine. The feeling of concentrated, wild magic.

The last time we were this close, I had told it to go so that it would not hurt my brothers again. Yet here I am, standing face to face with it. Ready to grovel if I have to. Anything to save Devon.

"I never thought I would see you here," the Shadow says, breaking the tense silence.

_It's right. I never would come here unless I was desperate. And, unfortunately, that's just what I am. _

"No," I reply. "But you've been keeping an eye on me, haven't you? Or was the Dark One's shadow lying?"

The Shadow cocks its head, as if trying to look at me from a different angle, to try to figure me out.

"It is my duty to protect you," it replies. "Did you think I would stay away just because of one meager threat?"

_Meager? Please. I could have imprisoned it then and there if I wanted to. But I didn't. I just knew that I needed to save my brothers, and that meant getting the Shadow away from them. I'd hardly call having that sort of power over the Voice of Neverland meager. _

I nod, careful not to give away any of these thoughts. I need it, and I doubt reminding it of it's old failures is going to help me.

"I am surprised to see you, though," it admits. "Given the nature of our last encounter, I thought you would never seek me out again."

The nature of our last encounter. That's what it calls almost killing my brothers, almost ripping out Toodles' shadow, all in an effort to "keep me safe." It almost took my family from me, and it just calls it "last encounter."

_It's still as bad as I remember,_ I realize. _Hasn't changed a bit over the years. _

"Trust me," I reply. "I thought the same thing. But things are different now. Something has changed."

If the Shadow could blink, I'm pretty sure it would at that. I can tell, just by the way its form shifts, that it's curious. Curious of what changed that I would go to it for help.

"I'm guessing by now you're aware that we have visitors in Neverland," I say, even though I'm fairly sure I know the answer.

The Shadow scoffs, as if I offended it somehow.

_Yeah, I saw that one coming. How windy is it on top of that pedestal? _

"I am in tune with every grain of sand on the shore," it replies. "You think I don't know that the Evil Queen, the Dark One, and the Savior are here?"

_I'm seriously doing this. I'm seriously going to ask this thing, the creature that tried to kill my brothers, for help. If Devon's life weren't on the line, I would be running like hell. _

"I thought you would," I reply. "Which leads me to my problem. Their little group, the Evil Queen specifically, ripped out my brother's heart. And you're going to help me get it back."

The Shadow looks at me for a moment, as if contemplating a reply. I can't tell if it's frustrated or annoyed, or confused. Even after all these years, I can't read it's emotions, except what it chooses to show me.

"And why would I do that?" it finally asks.

_Oh, so that's the game it's going with? Playing hard to get. Acting as if it doesn't care._

I shake my head, seeing through it in a snap.

"Because I'm going after them anyway," I reply. "And we both know that if I go in, I'll be facing some good fighters, and some damn powerful people. It's your duty to protect me, as you keep telling me. I might as well ask for your help now, knowing I have an ally in the fight."

The Shadow floats a bit higher, in silence, but I can tell I've struck a nerve.

_Good. _

"And why do you not turn to your so-called friends?" the Shadow asks, almost sneering. "The ones you were so desperate to protect?"

I bite my tongue as I remember the scene from just a few minutes ago. Pan refusing to go after Devon's heart. Felix agreeing because Pan said it. Pan kissing me on the forehead, for complying.

_No, none of that is important. Not really. The most important thing now is getting Devon's heart back. _

"Pan...disagrees with my decision to go after the heart," I say, slowly. "I decided it would be safer to go to you for help, rather than endanger one of my brothers."

The Shadow scoffs, and if I didn't need its help, I would turn around and walk out right here and now.

I don't need this now. I don't need this pig-headed creature, with inflated self-importance, to be laughing at me. Right now, people I once admired, people I helped, took my brother's heart. And I'm not about to just stand here, taking this while he suffers.

"Look, it doesn't matter," I say, pushing on. "The important thing is that my brother gets his heart back. Now, will you help me?"

The Shadow looks down, and once again cocks its head, as if considering. I have to keep myself from turning and walking away right here and now. I need to do this. For Devon. I need it's help.

"Very well," the Shadow finally mutters. "But on one condition."

My blood runs cold as I realize what it's going to say before it even says it.

"After we retrieve the heart," the Shadow continues. "And get it back to your brother, you come back to Dark Hollow with me. Where you will stay out of danger, and under my supervision."

Once, I might have been scared by this. I might have froze, like I did when Pan made me the offer of me for Abby's freedom. Or when Pan made me the offer when he tortured Baelfire. Me, in exchange for Bae's safety.

But I am so goddamned tired of these people, who supposedly care about me, using the people I love to make me do what they want. My brother is in danger, and the Shadow is not focused on helping him, but fulfilling the same mission that it wanted to fulfill nineteen years ago. And I am so tired of that. I couldn't care less about its duty to protect me. That might be its duty as the Voice of Neverland, but its my duty as a sister to protect my brothers. I will not be pushed around by this bully while my brother is in danger.

"No," I say flatly. "That's never going to happen."

The Shadow looks down at me, and I can tell that it's starting to get annoyed with me.

_Yeah, now it knows how I feel. _

"Don't try my patience, girl," it says, its voice dangerously low. "It is my duty to-"

_To protect me. Yeah, I get that. That's what it's said every time it sees me. I got the message the first time, when….when Bae was in danger. _

And I asked it to help me take Bae back to our cave. And it listened, albeit grumbling along the way. When it trapped me in Dark Hollow, I asked about Pan, and it showed me answers. I told it to leave me and my brothers alone and it never showed its face until now. When I went seeking it out.

"You know what I think?" I ask, interrupting it. "I think you really have no choice in the matter."

The Shadow stops short and stares down at me.

"What?" it asks, as if shocked.

"You heard me," I reply, a small smile somehow making it's way to my face. "For all your talk of protecting me, I don't think you are the one who gets a say in what I do. You act like you're in charge, but every time I have asked you or told you to do something...you have done it."

Now that I say it, it makes sense. I told it I wasn't going back with it to Dark Hollow, so it didn't force me to come. I told it to leave me and my brothers alone, and it left us alone. It pretends like it's in charge, like it can push me around, but now that I think about it...it has never done anything that I told it not too.

I look up at it, now smiling. I can see it watching me warily, as if waiting for me to clarify. But it already knows what I've figured out. It's known for a long time.

"For all you're pretending that you're the big dog that I need to obey," I continue. "You've always done what I've told you. If you could really force me to stay here, you would have done it already. But that's it, isn't it? You can't force me. For some reason, whatever reason it is that you have to protect me, you can't just lock me up, and say 'done.' You have to listen to me, right?"

The Shadow looks at me, as if shocked. Then slowly, it turns away, as if sheepish.

"It is my duty to protect you, as a Dreamer," it murmurs. "But...I will admit that I have a duty to listen to you as well."

_Now that I see it, I almost laugh. For ages, I was scared of this thing, terrified that it would come after my brothers. But it never could. It never could hurt me. Because I ordered it not too. No matter what it says, about protecting me, it has to listen to me. _

"I still can keep you here," the Shadow snaps at me. "If it is safer that you be here than out of Dark Hollow, I can keep you here, even if it is against your will."

_It's right. It tried to do that when Pan took Bae. It was it's way of keeping me safe until it knew that Bae wouldn't give into the torture._

"But not this time," I point out. "Because, right now, I'm not in any real danger, am I?"

That Shadow doesn't look at me, which is as good as confirmation. It can't keep me here. Meaning that it can't force me to stay. So if I tell it to help me get back Devon's heart, it damn well will help me.

_Part of me wants to stay and talk more. To know why. Why it has always been my protector, why it has to listen to me, why protecting me has always been its duty. What have I done that would merit Neverland itself looking after me? _

But I have no time. I've wasted enough as it is. I only have a few hours to get Devon's heart back before Pan knows that I'm gone. And the longer I'm gone, the less time Devon has before the Evil Queen uses him again. I won't let that happen.

All this time, I believed that this thing was my enemy. The truth is, it's been watching over me, and following my orders. And now that I've given it a new one, it will listen to me. It will help me get Devon's heart back.

_That doesn't mean it isn't an enemy, though. I still haven't forgotten how it tried to kill Toodles, and the rest of my brothers that night. _

"Alright," I say, grinning. "Let's get my brother's heart back."

The Shadow sighs, before gesturing me out of the forest.

"Lead the way," it says, sarcasm somehow oozing through its high, cold voice.

I force myself to hold back my smile, as I form a zipline leading out of Dark Hollow, and start to make my way out into the jungle.

It shouldn't take us long to track the group. All I have to do is reach out with my sixth sense, and feel for Emma. Feel for the powerhouse of magic that she has.

She has such powerful, light magic in her. And she still helped the Evil Queen rip out my brother's heart. _It's a shame, really. I once looked up to these people. Snow White and Prince Charming were heroes to me. And yet they took my brother's heart, and made him their puppet. That is not in any way heroic. It's disgusting._

It takes me a few minutes, mostly because I have to sense for magic past the wild and chaotic magic of the Shadow. I'm pretty sure it could easily lead me to the group, but it's still bitter that I figured out who was in charge.

_If it wants to mope, it can go ahead. I don't care what it thinks, right now. My brother is in danger, and I need to help him, regardless of the Shadow's feelings. It didn't really consider my feelings when it tried to kill my brothers_.

Once I get a sense on the magic though, I move. I sense the Shadow flying beside me as I use my ziplines to follow the magic. It doesn't say a word to me, but I find it oddly comforting that it's there. It means I have an ally. That I'm not going in alone. That two of the most powerful beings in Neverland are going to get Devon's heart back.

_This is going to work, _I realize. _We're going to get Devon's heart back. We're going to save him. _

My giddiness vanishes as soon as we get closer to the group. I can tell they're on the move, but towards what, I don't know. Definitely not our camp, it's in the opposite direction. They're keeping a steady pace enough that I have to use my ziplines to stay ahead, so they must have something in mind instead of mindlessly wandering the jungle.

_Not using the map I made though. Odd. _

For some reason, just watching them go...it makes me angry. Furious. I can't put my finger on why until I realize it's how casual they are. They're just walking. As if they don't care that my brother is in danger. As if they don't care that they have made an innocent boy their tool. To them, this is just another stroll through Neverland, even with Devon's heart.

_They're just walking as if it Devon's life doesn't matter. To them, he's just another instrument in getting Henry back. But to me, he's my brother. And they need to know what happens when they mess with my family. _

"Stay out of sight until I call you," I mutter to the Shadow. "Or if I don't see them behind me."

To its credit, despite all its complaining, the Shadow nods, as if it understands the gravity of the situation.

_One wrong move, and I'm either captured, or they crush Devon's heart. I can't fail in this. I won't fail in this. I will get my brother's heart back if it's the last thing I do. _

I silently crouch on the branch, waiting, as they come closer to my hiding spot.

"Why?" Emma is asking Snow White.

_Eight… seven… six…_

"Because you deserve a happy ending," Snow White replies. "And happy endings always start with hope."

_Now! _

I leap to the ground, landing on my feet, right in front of them. I see Snow and Emma start at my sudden reappearance, and David instinctively draws his sword.

"Lass?" Hook asks in surprise.

_So I'm still "lass" to him, and not "whore"? Who would have thought? _

"Wrong," I say, my voice deadly calm, as I straighten. "You animals ripped out my brother's heart. The last thing you deserve is a happy ending."

I only give them one second. One second to think about what I'm saying, and the implications behind it. I see the confused look in David's eyes, the surprised one in Hook's, and the realization in a shared glance between Emma and her mother.

Then their second ends, and I let the rage inside me, the anger that I've been holding back ever since I found out the truth, flow through me, taking my magic with it.

"WHERE IS IT?" I shout, magic flowing through me like an ocean.

I don't give them time to answer. I don't them time to protest, or make excuses. They didn't give that to my brother. Why should I do the same?

With one thought, I have vines grabbing Emma and pinning her against the nearest tree.

_Step one, get rid of the most powerful member. Done._

"Emma!" screams Snow, drawing an arrow from her quiver.

David rushes to his daughter, ready to cut her free. With another thought, I have David and Snow entrapped with vines. The vines pull David's arm up, sword in hand, so that it's pinned against his wife's neck. One false move, and he opens her throat.

_Step two: remove the fighters. Check. _

"Lass, what are you-"

I don't even have to look at Hook, before I send him flying to the side, and imagine him trapped by vines as well.

It takes me a second to realize the Evil Queen isn't with them, but with my sixth sense going off like crazy, I know she's nowhere near here.

_Shame. I wanted to show the bitch what ripping out a heart feels like. Let's see how she would do, tasting her own medicine. _

I look at each one of them, my rage and magic practically cackling at my fingertips.

"Where is it?" I shout again, imagining electricity running along my fingertips, as if begging me to pick a victim.

Each one of them is only staring at me in horror, as if they have never seen anything like me. Emma and Hook are struggling against their holds, while Snow and David don't dare move, lest Prince Charming kills his own wife.

"What?" Emma finally gasps, struggling against the bonds that hold her.

My eyes snap to her, and I swear she almost flinches under my gaze.

"You damn well know what I mean!" I snap. "You bastards ripped out my brother's heart. You captured him and ripped out his heart. Now give it back to me, before I make the prince here slit his own wife's throat!"

I don't have to imagine their looks of horror.

Part of me feels hurt that they look at me like I'm a monster, but mostly, I don't care. They attack my brother, they rip out his heart, they make him their puppet. If I have to become a monster to defeat these monsters, so be it. I was already one, the moment I agreed to kill Henry.

For a moment, there is nothing but silence, as Hook and David stare at me as if I'm insane. Maybe I am. That's what happens when they mess with my brothers. I don't miss the look that Emma and Snow share.

"Lass," Hook finally says. "What are you talking about? What heart-"

I raise a hand, silencing him with a single thought. I don't look at him though.

_Why? _part of me wonders. _Because you're busy, or because he sees you for the monster that you are? _

Then again, Hook always knew I was a monster, ever since he found out I was alive. Or rather, I was a monster's whore. To a "man of honor" like him, that's almost worse.

"Don't bother," I snap. "Don't stoop yourself to talking with a common whore, like me."

I turn to Emma, who is still struggling.

_All that magic inside of her, and I beat her in a second. Maybe Pan was right. Maybe these people aren't so powerful after all. _

"The Savior here," I say, looking directly at Emma. "She knows what I'm talking about. Don't you, _Emma_?"

Even I'm surprised at how easily the icy tone rolls off my tongue.

_Was this how Pan felt when he squeezed my heart all those years ago? Because I'm sure I had the same fear in my eyes that night, that Emma has in her eyes now. _

For a second, our eyes meet. I see her fear, her shock at suddenly being captured, and she sees my rage and cold fury. But then, after a moment, I see past that fear, and somehow she does the same with me. Something, I don't know what...passes between us. Some sort of understanding. Some sort of recognition.

I know those eyes better than I thought. Those are the eyes of someone who is lost. Someone who has been abandoned at every turn. Someone who has been beaten and bruised at every turn. Someone who found a family, and will do anything to keep it.

_Oh gods…_

I look into Emma's eyes, and I can see me staring right back.

_She's like me,_ I realize. _She's a Lost Girl. _

Finally, Emma tears her gaze away, and looks down guiltily.

"What heart?" David asks. "What are you talking about?"

I turn to him, and I see something in his eyes as well. An understanding. He has his wife at swordpoint, yet for some reason...he isn't afraid.

I raise an eyebrow, looking at him curiously.

"You aren't scared?" I ask, confused.

_I have his wife and daughter pinned down. One thought, and I break them like twigs. Or I make him kill his own wife. By all reasons, he should be scared. Why isn't he? _

He meets my eyes, and he shakes his head.

_What? _

"We don't have it."

I turn to Emma, remembering my purpose, and looking at her.

_I can't be distracted I came here for Devon's heart, not for soul searching. If I wanted to do that, I would have stayed at camp. _

"What?" I ask, my voice soft.

She looks at me, and I somehow instinctively know she's telling the truth. I have her parents and her boyfriend pinned against trees though, so maybe she, unlike her father, realizes that I am not something to be taken lightly.

Emma looks away, but the guilt on her face is as plain as day.

"After we got the message to Henry," Emma explains. "Regina kept the heart. She took it with her when she left."

I feel my heart drop, and for a second I'm afraid for Devon.

The Evil Queen still has his heart. She still has control over him, and can use him as her puppet. Because she isn't here.

_Of course, she has it_, I chide myself. _She is the one who rips out the hearts, she would be the one to hold onto it. _

And while I've been wasting my time here, she's gotten farther away, along with Devon's heart.

"Wait…" David murmurs. "You...ripped out a Lost Boy's heart?"

The shock in his voice is as plain as day. The same shock in Marcus's voice when I told him. The same shock on Felix's face when I told him and Pan.

_He didn't know,_ I realize. _They must have done it while he and Hook got the water. _

I would have made him cut his own wife's throat for reasons he didn't understand.

"We needed to get a message to Henry," Emma explains. "And this was the only way we could do it."

I look at her, and despite the connection I had with her a moment ago, I feel nothing but disgust.

"Henry got your message, alright," I snarl. "But now Devon, my brother? He's sitting in our camp, terrified that the Evil Queen will make him kill his own family, or himself."

Emma looks up at me, and I see the shame in her eyes. She regrets what she did, but I can't find it in me to feel sorry for her. Not after what she did to Devon.

"We're sorry," she says.

I can't help but laugh at this.

"Oh, are you?" I ask sarcastically. "Well, that's just great. You ripped out Devon's heart, you make him your slave, and endanger him and my family. But you're sorry, so we must be square then."

I look at them, and scoff. I can tell by the disgust in David and Hook's eyes that they didn't know the truth. I'm guessing the women didn't tell them when they got back. Snow and Emma, however, look ashamed. As they should be.

"You know," I say, looking at all of them. "Once, I thought you people were heroes. You were the people I wanted to be like. Brave, kind, full of hope and strength. But do you know what I've seen ever since you got here? A bunch of cowards, too afraid to take Pan on. You would rather risk a teenage boy's life to get a message to Henry, rather than your own. You would prefer to sneak around the island, pretending to come up with a plan, while Pan keeps moving forward with his."

_I guess that old saying was true. Never meet your heroes. They'll only disappoint you. _

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. I don't have time for this. I can rant at them for days, but it won't get me any closer to getting Devon's heart.

"Alright," I say, taking in a deep breath. "You said the Evil Queen has his heart. Where is she?"

There is a pause, and I can tell they're thinking it over silently. If they tell me, I let them go and they can continue with whatever it was they were doing. But that means I'm after the Evil Queen, their ally and one of the few of their group who can do magic. Someone they don't want to lose.

"We don't know," Snow finally answers.

I sigh in frustration, and roll my eyes.

_Of course they don't. That would be too easy, wouldn't it? _

"Why did she leave, then?" I ask.

_At the very least, it might give me some idea of where she's headed. After that, the Shadow and I can track her down._

Again, another pause. These people seem pretty protective of a woman who hunted them down, threatened their family, and did everything in her power to drive them apart. Then again, I am doing the same thing, technically.

"She was angry," Emma eventually says...almost sheepishly. "Because we were following a lead Pan gave us. That Neal was alive."

_What? _

I turn to stare at Emma, and I can see the guilt in her eyes. Guilt for going after him instead of her son, for reasons that I don't know…

_They're going after Bae. They're trying to free him. To get him out. Just as I did. _

But if Pan gave them the lead...what is he playing at? He captures Bae and keeps him from me, only to release him to Emma and the others? The people who would benefit the most from his release. No, there's something else going on here. Some other move he's playing. He wouldn't just give up a valuable game piece like Bae. Bae is my brother, and the Dark One's son. Having him as a hostage is beneficial. So what is Pan doing?

_Does it matter what Pan is doing? They're going to free Bae. That matters more than Pan's game. I know this better than anyone else. Bae matters more than what Pan has planned. If he is freed because Pan gets something else...it's worth it. Bae is always worth it. _

To my surprise, I turn to Hook, who watches me warily.

"Is this true?" I ask, my voice almost a whisper.

Hook meets my eyes, and I can see something I never thought I would see. Remorse.

"Aye, lass," he murmurs. "Pan told us he was alive, and on Neverland. We're going to find him."

I nod, thinking it over.

Henry doesn't know that his father is alive. Given how fast his family came after him, they probably didn't have time to realize he was alive either. So the only way they could figure it out would be if Pan told them.

_And all they would do is follow the tracks Bae left in the camp when they dragged him away,_ I realize. _It would lead them right too him. _

_They're telling the truth. They really are going to free Bae. _

"Dammit," I mutter. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

They rip out the heart of one of my brothers, only to save another. Part of me wants to leave them here to rot, for what they did to Devon…

But Bae. He could be free. He could come after his son. What would he say if he saw me like this now?

_Bae never thought I was a monster. Maybe he's wrong, maybe he's right. But at the very least, I can let the people trying to save him go. I can let the woman he loves, the mother of his child...Henry's mother… go. If it gets him his freedom, it's worth it. _

With a sigh, I imagine the vines falling away. Every one of them stumbles, as they try to steady themselves.

"Go," I say, suddenly weary.

I turn to Emma, and look her in the eye.

"Go and get him out," I say, my voice deadly serious. "Free him, and make sure he's safe."

Emma stares at me in confusion, while her family pick themselves up.

"I don't understand," she says. "Why are you helping us?"

I don't know. I honestly don't know. What I do know are three things: I need to save Devon, Bae needs to be freed, which I can't do, because Pan has been moving heaven and earth to keep me and Bae apart. But most of all: I'm tired. I'm tired of this war, of deciding between my brothers and the people who only want to save their son. I'm tired of being forced to decide between Bae and the Lost Boys, Hook or my brothers.

_I made a choice, though. I chose my brothers. And that's what I'm doing. I can save Devon, but I can't save Bae. So I'm letting Emma rescue him. She can do what I can't. She can save Bae. She can save my brother. Even if she helped rip out Devon's heart… she loves Bae. I can see it in her eyes. She won't forsake him_.

"The Lost Boys aren't the only brothers I found on the island," I reply, almost to myself instead of Emma. "They aren't the only boys that I care about."

Emma looks at me, and again, a sort of understanding passes between us. A kind of recognition, that we both share a common goal, despite this war between us. We both love Bae, and we both want him safe.

She nods, and starts to walk forward. Snow and David stare at me for a moment, before they start to follow. Hook looks like he has something to say, but I don't want to hear it. The last thing I need is more insults about my family. I look away from him, and my eyes go to David.

_I had him tied to a tree, with his sword at his wife's throat. Yet he wasn't afraid. He wasn't scared of me… the look in his eyes was...pity. _

"Wait!" I call, before I can tell myself it's a bad idea.

The group stops and turns to me. I look to David, and somehow the words stick in my throat. It's like talking through sand.

"You weren't afraid," I continue, staring at him. "Why?"

Snow, Emma, and Hook turn to him in confusion. The same confusion I'm feeling now.

But David doesn't look confused, or even pitying, as he did before. Instead...he smiles. Not a smirk, but a gentle, warm smile.

"I hardly think," he says. "That the girl who treated my wound, apologized to Hook when she hurt him- even after he overstepped his boundaries-"

At this, he shoots Hook an accusing look. I expect Hook to defend himself, but he only looks away guiltily.

"-and, as far as I can tell," David continues. "Has only done things out of the love for her family, is capable of doing the things you threatened to do."

_That's where he's wrong. He paints me like some good person. Someone, maybe not a hero, but someone whose heart is in the right place. _

He doesn't understand, though. I'm not a good person. I was ready to kill them if they hurt Devon. I'm ready to kill Henry to save all of my brothers. How does that make me the person he's talking about?

"Really?" I ask. "Even if the girl is Pan's whore?"

David looks at me for a moment, then shakes his head.

"I don't think any whore would do what you just did for her family," he replies. "I think you were angry enough to believe you would cross the line for your brother. But I think, deep down, you knew you would never hurt us. Because, even if you don't see it, even if you follow Pan… I think you're still a good person."

_How is it that this man...this man whom I've only met three times, able to tell me something like this? How does he see it, how does he know? Yes, I was angry, but...how does he just look at me and know that all I want is my brothers safe, with as little bloodshed as possible? _

I shake my head, aware of my eyes suddenly going misty.

"Just go," I whisper.

With that, I pull up my hood, and climb the nearest tree. I don't want them to see how they got to me. My understanding with Emma, my rage, David's words...my decision to let them find Bae...

_Gods, I don't know what I'm doing anymore_.

Well, I do know one thing: I've lingered too long. The Evil Queen has my brother's heart, and she's getting away. I need to save my brother. I just need to save him. I can't lose Devon like I've lost Bae and Hook.

_They said I was a good person...yet I was ready to kill each and every one of them to get back Devon's heart. I'm ready to kill an innocent child, if it means saving my brothers. How can they say I'm a good person?_

I feel the Shadow approach, and I look away, hoping it won't see the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I expect it to taunt me, to be sarcastic. Instead, it just floats beside me, as if to let me know that it's here with me. That I'm not alone in this.

I sigh, before wiping my eyes. I can't help Devon if I let myself wallow like this. It won't save Devon.

"Are you alright?" the Shadow asks, as I straighten up.

_No. I'm not. I haven't been alright for a long time now. I see that now. Not since I realized that my brothers' lives came at the cost of an innocent boy. Of Bae's son._

"Can you track down the Evil Queen?" I ask, instead of giving an answer. If the Shadow notices, it doesn't say.

"Yes," it replies. "She is making her way to the Dark One now."

Well, that shouldn't be a problem. I have the dagger, and the Shadow. And she's on her own. And if there is one thing I learned from being on Neverland...you never want to be alone. Ever.

_Hang in there, Devon. I'm going to get you out of this. I won't let her hurt you. Somehow, you're going to be okay. _

I inhale, and as if to assure myself, I reach out with my magic. I don't even make or imagine anything. I just take comfort in the fact that it's flowing through me. Somehow, as it does so...I don't feel alone. _Somehow, I know I'm going to make it through this. Not just saving Devon, but this entire thing. Henry, Pan, Bae, Hook. Somehow, I'm going to make it through this. I just have to keep moving forward. _

"Alright," I say, finally ready. "Let's go."

* * *

**A/N: **

Yay! Another chapter done! I have to say, this chapter was one of the hardest I had to deal with. Honestly, between the length, and capturing everything, this chapter was exhausting for me, both mentally and emotionally. So, I want to thank y'all for your patience, and for sticking with this story. I know I can't say it enough, but thank you for being amazing readers, and not giving up on it.

A special thanks to **phantasmal-wanderer, PandaHasAShotGun, TheLovelyWren, angeL4anime, ejotten, SingingGeekyBookWorm, MissFangirl100, HippieLove1312, tytoaster, taterbug0491, InsanitySorrow2.0,** **Shelby873,** and** Lightose8860 **for putting this story on alert, and to **sofialorido272, Takara Matsudaira, PandaHasAShotGun, ultron emperor, Half Winged Angel Of Despair, ejotten, SingingGeekyBookWorm, **and **Deadly Papegoja **for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **sarah0406, Authora97, The-Living-Shadow, ColdHeartedAngel, 1211, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Scarletknight17, Shinonme Sakuya, spatterson, Female whovian, mercenary2.0, Taeniaea, PandaHasAShotGun, chinaluv, TheSarcasticAngel, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, HOAfan8509, Lightose8860, **Neverland Dreamer, SuperFanNumber1, and the guest who left awesome reviews that made my day. And, as always, a special thanks to **Uncommon fairy**, my incredible beta who puts up with my constant badgering to read and give me feedback on the chapters!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want! Thoughts on Vin's attack on Team Operation Cobra Rescue, her alliance with the Shadow, and Pan and Felix's decisions are especially appreciated. Between y'all and me, Vin kind of scared me in this chapter, so feedback on her would be really appreciated. **:) **


	57. Chapter 57

In no time, the Shadow and I are traveling the opposite direction of Emma and her group. My heart is pounding, and magic is still flowing through me. I can practically hear it begging to be used, to form something, to be used in some way. Adrenaline is pushing me forward, yet it is the magic rushing through me that keeps my head clear.

I slipped up. I let my emotions get the better of me with Emma and her group. I lost my head. I can't afford to do that. I am facing the Evil Queen and Bae's father. This is a fight I need to stay focused on.

The Shadow is leading me, but this time I trust it not to lead me into a trap. If it could, it would have just stopped me from leaving Dark Hollow. But it didn't. Which only makes me believe that I was right about it having to follow me.

_But why? Why does it have to listen to me? Why will it follow my commands? Because I'm a Dreamer? If that was the case, it would have protected me a long time ago, when I was still on the run from Pan, and Hook was still in Neverland. _

Part of me wants to stop and question it. To know what the hell is going on, and to finally get some explanations. But I don't have time. Answers can wait. Devon can't. I know I still have some time before Pan finds out, but when he realizes I'm gone, and allied with the Shadow…. it won't be pretty.

I shake my head, as I use another zipline to follow the Shadow. It doesn't matter. I'm the one who is getting Devon out of this. Pan refused to. I am saving my brother's life, while Pan refuses to do anything. He cannot be angry at me for acting where he won't.

"Are we close?" I ask the Shadow, needing something to distract me from the thoughts I have.

Between the Shadow following me, what happened with Emma and her group, Bae, Devon's heart… I need to stay focused on helping Devon. He has to come first. After that, I can focus on my own problems.

_But I was ready to kill them. To hurt them to get them to tell me where Devon's heart is. So, David believes me to be good. He's wrong. But I was ready to hurt them. Hell, I still wish I could make them pay for hurting Devon. _

But I let them go. Not for them, but for Bae. If he can get out, he has a chance. A chance to get his son, to get away. And Bae getting away matters a lot more to me than hurting those who hurt my brothers. But if I could make them pay now… I would.

"Yes," the Shadow replies. "She has met the Dark One. We will be there in a minute."

I follow it on another zipline, and force all other thoughts from my mind. I was able to take out the rest easily, but they weren't expecting me. This is different. The Evil Queen knows her magic, and she won't hesitate to kill. She may have the Dark One on her side, but I have the dagger. But that only means I'll be fighting her, and not both of them.

In a few seconds, I realize the Shadow is telling the truth. Already, I feel the twisted darkness of the Dark One and Evil Queen. Combined, they are enough to twist my stomach. And being this close to it...it rekindles the rage inside me. The rage that took control when I faced the rest of their friends only moments ago.

_These people...these bastards...invade my home, and court war with us. We could have let Pan's shadow take care of them, but instead we let them live. And what to do they do? They rip out my brother's heart. They turn him into their puppet, put his life in danger, and make him betray his own family. _

I think they have worn out their welcome. It's time they know what happens when they mess with my brothers.

Soon, I hear voices, and I stop at a tree to listen. My sixth sense tells me that they are not moving, but I can hear them talking below me. The Shadow flies to my side silently, as I peer down between the branches to get a closer look.

It's them alright. The Evil Queen and the Dark One. One who wants to kill Henry and abandon his son, the other who wants to get Henry back and kill my family in the process.

"Are you sure she has the heart?" I ask the Shadow, my voice just a whisper.

I have already spent too much of my time. I can't attack them now, only to find another false lead. This is Devon's only chance at getting his heart back. Because something tells me if we succeed in killing Henry, like Pan was saying, then we will never see our brother again. The Evil Queen will kill him in retribution. I won't let that happen.

The Shadow nods. I breathe, before pulling up my hood so that it covers most of my face.

_This is it. Fight them and win, and I get Devon's heart back. He's safe, and I can search for answers. But Devon first. _

The Evil Queen appears to be ranting to the Dark One, clearly annoyed at something.

_Oh, right, Emma said that she was angry that they went searching for Bae. Again, she would rather leave one of my brothers to rot to satisfy her own agenda. Gods, after years of watching this bitch rip out hearts in my dreams, now this… I really hate her. Almost as much as I hate Pan. _

"I need Rumplestiltskin!" she snaps, walking up to him.

"Well the problem, _dearie_," the Dark One shoots back. "Is that Rumplestiltskin can only stop Pan by dying."

I perk up at this new information. This is the first I have ever heard of it.

_But… why? Why would the Dark One die if he kills his father? Why would he…. unless… the prophecy he mentioned. The one that said Henry would be his undoing. _

That's it. That's what he means. Henry is his undoing, because the Dark One will let himself die for Henry. He will die for his grandson. By killing Pan.

Part of me wants to see the Dark One in a better light for this, yet I can't reconcile what Bae said. That even if he survives this, Henry is still the Dark One's undoing. There is no guarantee that self-preservation won't win out, and he'll only try to kill Henry.  
_Besides, if Pan dies, so do my brothers. That's why I have to save him. To save my brothers. Even if he sacrifices himself for Henry, that sacrifice will end with my brothers dying. I can't allow that to happen. I have come too far, and I won't let my brothers die._

"Okay," I whisper to the Shadow. "New plan. The Dark One doesn't know that I have the dagger. Let's keep it that way, in case this gets back to Pan somehow."

The Shadow pauses a moment, before nodding. If I show I have the dagger, I don't doubt that Pan will somehow find out. He knew about Hook calling me a whore, he will know about me having the Dark One dagger.

And if he finds out I have the dagger, I don't want to know what he will do next. Because I think he would love the idea of having his own son under his power, so that he can torment him over and over. Having been one of the people he torments, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

"Wait for my signal," I say, my mind racing. "Then distract the Dark One. I'll handle the Queen."

The Shadow nods, and I silently begin to climb down from my perch above.

"You're not going to die at anyone's hand but my own!" the Evil Queen snaps.

_Well, that's going to be a problem then, witch. Because you took my brother's heart. You're going to be lucky if I let you live the night. _

She steps forward, her posture and voice determined, while the Dark One still looks upset.

"We're the two most powerful practitioners of magic," she says. "Who have _ever _lived. The Evil Queen and the Dark One joining the forces? I think together we can find another way to handle one smug teenager."

_Alright. It's now or never. _

I step out, my hood still covering my face, my anger no longer raging, but burning steadily, as if waiting to strike.

"Really?" I ask, as I emerge from the shadows. "Want to test that theory out, Majesty?"

Both the Dark One and Evil Queen whirl around to face me. The Evil Queen looks surprised, but the Dark One looks...annoyed. As if frustrated at yet another interruption to his day.

_Well, tough. But my fight isn't with him any way. I'm only here for one thing: getting my brother's heart back. _

"Who the hell are you?" asks the Evil Queen, quickly looking me up and down. I can tell by her expression that she is not impressed.

Maybe she should be. If she knew the power that flows through my veins right now, she'd be running to the hills.

I can't resist a smirk that plays on my lips, as recognition dawns in the Dark One's eyes.

"You don't remember me?" I ask. "Not even after our little bonding session with the rest of my brothers?"

Or rather, when I hit her with water, and had a knife to the throat. And I let her go. It's a shame really. If I had know what she would do to Devon, what she wanted to do to my brothers….maybe I would have stopped her then and there.

The hint is enough for the Queen, as her eyes widen, no doubt remembering our battle.

"You," she murmurs, lifting her finger at me.

"Me," I reply, my voice deceptively cool and collected. It's taking every fiber of control that I have to not lash out at this woman now, and rip out her heart with my bare hands.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, but I can see her posture tense slightly. Maybe because I'm a Lost One, maybe because she remembers our last encounter. Either way, I can already sense her magic stirring inside her.

_Well, she wants a fight, then that's alright. I want nothing more than to knock this bitch down and refuse to let her get up. _

"Where's my son?"

The Dark One's voice cuts in, drawing my attention away from the Evil Queen. Bad move. Right now, she's the one I want. I can deal with him later, if I must.

"Not here," I reply shortly, barely glancing at him.

I feel the Dark One's glare, though I don't dare to look at him. Right now, my focus needs to be on saving Devon. The others are rescuing Bae; he'll be fine. Devon won't be, unless I get his heart back.

"That's not an answer," he says, stepping closer to me. "Where is he, girl?"

I can see the surprise in the Evil Queen's face, as she realizes what he's saying. That I'm a girl, not a boy. Once, I might have laughed, but right now I don't give a damn. The bitch ripped out Devon's heart. She's holding him hostage, and I'm not about to let her get away with it.

"I don't know!" I snap, turning to meet his glare with my own. "We got separated. But from what I hear, the Savior and her group are going after him. He should be fine."

At least, I hope he is. I don't think Pan would really hurt him. Then again, it seems there's a lot I don't know about Pan.

_No, Bae is alright, I tell myself. He's going to be okay. Emma cares about him; she'll get him out safe and sound. _

"He should be?" repeats the Dark One, almost mockingly. "You mean you don't know? I thought you _cared_ about him."

I know I should be focused on the Evil Queen. On getting Devon's heart back. But at those words, I forget everything. Devon's heart, the Evil Queen, Pan, the Shadow, the mirror. It all goes to the back of my mind, as I turn to fully face the Dark One.

How dare he? How dare he accuse me of not caring about Bae.

"I do," I hiss, my voice dripping with venom. "He means the world to me. I've given my life for him once, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

The Dark One gives me a look that clearly says he doesn't believe me. Maybe he should. If he's here for Henry, if he truly means to save his grandson, then he would know why I do what I do. That there is nothing I won't do for my brothers.

"And yet, here we are, dearie," he says, spreading his arms out, gesturing around us.

_He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why I'm here, and not helping Bae. _

But Bae would. Bae would understand why I have to get back Devon's heart. Why I can't save him, not now. He would understand why I have to save Devon first.

"Trust me," I reply, my voice somehow calm and cool again. "Your son knows better than anyone the lengths I will go to to protect the people I love. That's why I'm here."

At this, I turn back to the Evil Queen, my hand itching to just draw my knives and fight her here and now. She looks at me in surprise, as if she didn't expect me to have business with her.

"What do you want?" she asks, warily, while the Dark One watches me with equal wariness.

_He doesn't know where Bae is_, I realize. _He doesn't know that Pan has him, and that the others are freeing him. The last time he saw me, it was when Bae and I went into the jungle with Henry. _

Yet so much has changed since. Things he hasn't realized. That Bae was captured, and that the Evil Queen took out my brother's heart. That right now, I'm his worst nightmare.

"You took something that doesn't belong to you," I reply, my voice still calm. "My brother's heart. I'm here to take it back."

For a second, she stares at me, before she lets out a laugh. I have to bite my tongue to keep from lashing out and hurting her now. She still has Devon's heart. If I attack and miss, she can easily crush it and kill him.

_But it is still sick. She has my brother's life on the line, and she's treating it like a joke. To her, he's just a means to her ends. If he gets hurt, she'll just cut her losses and move on. _

"You mean this?" she asks, reaching into her coat pocket, and pulling out a cloth pouch. The pouch is glowing with a dim light, the same light that glows from someone's heart.

Devon's heart. She has it in her hands. If I could snatch it out now…

"Give it back," I say, my voice hinting at the rage inside of me. "Now."

She only has to take one look at me to know that I'm not asking her. However, her smug smile only grows, as she holds it casually in her hand. But the way her fingers are curled around it, her muscles tensed...all it would take is one god squeeze, and I lose my brother.

I won't let that happen.

"No," she says simply, before casually tucking the pouch back into her pocket.

While I knew that was what she would say, I still feel my anger only building. It is taking every fiber of control that I have to keep me from telling the Shadow to hold her down while I tear _her _heart out. This is my brother's life, and she's treating it like a game.

"I think," she says, turning to Bae's father. "We might have found our way to get what we want without killing you, Dark One."

_Oh great. What is she doing? Going so low as to use my brother's life as a means to get what she wants? _

And Pan did the same thing, with Bae. These people...the Dark One who abandoned his son, the Evil Queen who uses my brothers against me, Hook who is trying to make me be the girl _he _wants me to be...they are so much like Pan, it's scary. And they glorify themselves as tragic heroes.

"Do you think I'm playing?" I ask, nearly shouting.

_No, remain calm. I lose my head, I lose the battle. I lose the battle, I lose Devon. _

"Hardly," replies the Evil Queen, her smile only growing. "Which is exactly why I think you'll do what I say."

_What? She expects me to follow her? The woman who rips out hearts, and blames innocent kids for her issues? _

Well, I've already following one too many psychopaths as it is. I'm not about to let her bully me into doing her dirty work, not with my brother's life on the line. If she wants a patsy, she should have brought that mirror that was devoted to her.

I cock an eyebrow and laugh in disbelief, even though she can't see it beneath my hood.

"Excuse me?" I ask, as the Dark One turns to the Evil Queen in surprise.

She doesn't seem shocked, though. She's cool and collected. And dangerous. I recognize that look from every time she got something she wanted, by hurting someone else.

"You want your brother's heart?" she asks, instead of answering. "Fine. I'll give it to you. But first, you must do something for me, little girl."

I know that the 'little girl' barb is just to get under my skin, but I can't help but bristle at it.

Little girl? I'm the one who made a cuff that could stop magic. I'm the one who trapped Pan's shadow so Bae could escape. I'm the one who, through sheer imagination, made a magic bean to get someone out of Neverland. I may not be fairy tale's greatest villain, but I'm hardly a child. I haven't been a child in a long time.

"You're one of Pan's," Regina continues. "Which means that you can get into his camp."

Right. That's where she's going with this. So, what will she ask me? Kill Pan, or bring Henry, in exchange for Devon's life? Hell, she already tricked a poor man into losing his daughter so she could steal from the Queen of Hearts. Because she is just like Pan. Using loved ones, no matter the consequences, as her stepping stones. Bitch.

"Your point?" I ask, crossing my arms, even though I already know what she's going to ask.

"I'm making you an offer," she replies, almost graciously. As if I should be thanking the witch who is threatening to kill my brother. "I will give back your brother's heart, unharmed, good as new. All I ask is that you get Henry, and bring him to us."

I knew it. I'm surprised she didn't tell me to kill Pan while I'm at it.

I open my mouth to retort, when the Dark One beats me to it, his face filled with what I can only call surprise.

"What?" he asks, as if stunned.

"Think about it," the Evil Queen snaps, glancing at him. "It's perfect. Obviously Pan trusts his slut enough to let her try to kill me and the Charmings. She can get in, grab Henry, bring him to us. We catch up with the others, and get the hell out of Neverland."

If she weren't holding my brother's heart in her pocket, I would strangle her now. My hands are shaking, I'm so angry.

_Pan's slut? It's clearly another barb, but the implication holds as it did with Hook. The idea I would let Pan lure me to his bed, that I would let him touch me in that way… how dare she…_

"First of all," I say, my voice deadly calm. "Call me his slut again, and I will make your mother look like a fairy princess."

At this, the Evil Queen turns to me, and I can see surprise and...pain...at the mention of her mother. It's a low blow, I know, bringing up her mother, but if there is one thing about the Evil Queen I remember in my dreams it's that the only person who ever really got under her skin was her mother. And right now, though I'm not trying to show it, she's starting to get under mine.

She opens her mouth, as if to reply, but the Dark One stops her.

"You are asking her to commit suicide!" he exclaims. "The minute Pan finds out she betrayed him, she's as good as dead."

_Wait, what? Did the Dark One, the most ancient and powerful source of evil, just come to my defense? As if he cares about me? _

That's impossible. He hates me. Hates me because I work for his father, because Bae trusts me more than him. Because I failed to look after his son when I promised I would.

Both the Evil Queen and I look at him in confusion, though the Evil Queen looks like she just swallowed a lemon. The Dark One looks furious at himself, as if he didn't mean it, but there is something else. A frustration, but not at me or the Evil Queen. At this entire situation as a whole.

"Since when do you care?" she asks, as if genuinely confused.

The Dark One looks from me to his partner, before sighing angrily.

"I don't," he almost snarls. "But Baelfire does. And for some strange reason, he trusts this girl. She dies because of something we force her to do and-"

"Who do you care about more?" the Evil Queen shouts, cutting him off. "Your grandson, or Wendy Darling here?"

_Wendy Darling? Seriously? Do I look like a naive girl who ran off to Neverland, only to lead to Bae getting captured? _

But...what the Dark One said...he doesn't want me to die, because he's scared that Bae will be hurt from it. That my death would hurt his son, and for that, he wants me to make it. Not because he cares about, but because he cares about his son.

He still wants to make amends, I realize, as I look at him. He truly wants to make things right with Bae, prophecy aside. That's why it hurt so much for him to see Bae trusting me more than him. Because it meant that his son did not think amends were possible, in his eyes.

"Well?" the Evil Queen asks, drawing my attention back to her. "What's it going to be? Henry for a heart?"

And here is another person, using my love for my brothers against me. Just like Pan. Just like Hook. And I am so bloody sick of people using my family as leverage. I am tired of taking blow after blow because they can hurt my brothers. I put up with it from Pan, because he is the only thing keeping my brothers alive. I endured it from Hook because, gods damn it, some part of me still cares about the bastard.

I absolutely refuse to take it from the Evil Queen. I am the most powerful Dreamer who has walked Neverland's shores. I will not be cowed by the bitch who took Devon's heart, and made him her puppet. I won't sink that low.

"Screw you," I reply flatly.

Both the Dark One and the Evil Queen turn to me, with identical shocked expressions. Whatever answer they expected, that clearly was not it.

"I get Henry," I continue, my voice still flat. "My brothers are dead. I don't help you, and you try to kill us anyway. I give you what you want, and you'll kill Devon and I without batting an eyelash."

_Did she really think I would betray my brothers? After how far I've come to save Devon? I'm not going to condemn all of them to death, just because some witch in a tiara told me to. _

At this, the Evil Queen chuckles uncomfortably, as if she doesn't know what to do. I guess she was so set on me bowing down to her, she didn't have a back-up plan.

_Badly done, majesty. Very badly done. _

"And what makes you think you know me?" she asks, glancing at the Dark One in confusion.

Know her? Know her? I watched her rip out hearts every time I fell asleep, for years. I watched her make a curse that devastated an entire population, all for revenge. I watched her murder, lie, and practice dark magic for the hell of it. For years, I watched her, knowing the Evil Queen lived up to her name. I know who she is, and that is exactly why I refuse to do what she asks.

"'_Oh, don't worry, dear,'_" I sneer. "'_In a few moments, you won't remember you ever knew him. Let alone loved him.'_"

If the Evil Queen was surprised before, she may as well be catatonic now. I can't hold back a grin at the shock that spreads across her face as she recognizes the words. Rumplestiltskin is only watching me, warily.

_He wasn't there. Or he knew, and he's figured out what I am. If that's the case, he should know I'm one of the greatest threats on Neverland. _

Any self control the Evil Queen had when she showed me Devon's heart vanishes in a snap, only to be replaced with stunned confusion.

"How…" she murmurs.

I feel a smirk play on my lips, and I hold it as I throw back my hood, finally letting her see my face.

I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't remember me. I was only there, a silent ghost, watching from the background. An insignificant soul, that she had no idea how much she had hurt. That I had to ask Pan to put barriers in my mind to stop returning to the nightmares every night.

But, no. It takes a moment, but I see it. The recognition in her eyes, the haunted look, as she thinks back to that night. The night she wiped out a whole world with one curse.

_That's it, majesty. Remember me. Me and all the souls who spent the next twenty-eight years with nightmares, haunted by what you did. The unintentional victims of your curse. The people you didn't think twice about, but were haunted by something they did not understand. _

"The Dreamer," she whispers, almost to herself.

_Yeah, that's right. The Dreamer who spent years waking up screaming, every night. The Dreamer who is as mad as hell, because you are holding Devon's heart. _

"So you do remember me?" I ask, arching one eyebrow. "Interesting. I thought I was unimportant. The little spectator, in your moment of glory."

Maybe I still am. But that's alright. That means that I can lay down my life down for my brother, without worrying about what happens after.

And yet, somehow all of that is suppressed by this anger. An anger I didn't know I had. Perhaps I had lived with it, or told myself it wouldn't help. But something that has been inside me for the longest time is finally building up, and breaking free.

"But I was there," I whisper harshly. "_I. Was. There._ Pan explained the curse to me, and from what I hear? While you were sleeping on silk sheets, happy and victorious, I dreaded going to sleep. Because I could not escape. Every night, I was in that last moment. Screaming, because that's what I did, when the curse took me. I didn't see darkness, and I didn't see smoke. I saw emptiness. Do you know what that's like? To stare into the emptiness, and scream, when no one can hear you? Because I do. I did that for years in my dreams. And you never spared me a second thought."

I see something in her eyes. Guilt? Remorse?

I don't know, but it makes me pause. Is she… regretting what she did? To me and the other Dreamers? To the people she cursed in the Enchanted Forest? To those she forgot.

_But...if she remembers me, after all these years… maybe there's a chance. A chance she'll realize that I'm not fooling around, and I will do what it takes for Devon's safety. Maybe I can get her to see reason, before someone else gets hurt._

"But do you know who is important?" I ask, allowing my voice to become warmer. "The owner of that heart. His name is Devon. He once had five sisters, and three brothers. He lost them all to the Plague in one year. He came to Pan, sick and suffering. And Pan helped heal him. He gave him shelter. He gave me family. He's dead loyal, and a good tracker. And he won't turn on us for anything. And right now, he is terrified. Right now, he needs his family."

At this, I hold out my hand, hoping it's enough. That she will realize who I am, and that she already hurt me once. That she will think of the boy at camp, who needs his heart. Who needs hope. Who is scared that she will crush his heart.

The Evil Queen glances at her pocket, before looking at me, and meeting my eyes. I can almost see her weighing the options, considering her choices. The Dark One looks at one of us to the other, as if waiting for one of us to make the first move.

Then, whatever I saw in the Evil Queen's eyes, whatever regret or remorse I made her feel...it evaporates in a flash, replaced with the cold steel I know all too well.

"Dreamer or no," she says, lip curling. "Give me my son, or _Devon_ will be reunited with his brothers and sisters."

I blink, but not in surprise. I should have realized that would be her response. That she would rather take back her son than do the right thing. She would serve herself, before others. She's pathetic.

"Alright," I say, slowly, lowering my hand. "Just remember, I tried, majesty. I tried to play nice, even after you ripped out my brother's heart."

My eyes go to the bulge in her pocket, that holds Devon's heart, and I know what I have to do.

_She wants a fight? Fine. I'll give her a fight. _

The Evil Queen only scoffs, a smirk playing on her face. She holds out her hand, and a ball of fire appears.

"You want the heart?" She taunts. "Come and get it, little girl."

The Dark One steps forward, holding out a hand to her.

"Regina, wait," he says, but he's too late.

He may not want me to get hurt for Bae, but he's not the one who has Devon's heart. The one who has that wants a fight, so I'm going to make her wish she had never walked onto our shores.

"Shadow, now!" I call.

Immediately, I feel a rush of familiar, chaotic magic, as the Shadow flies out at my signal, and straight at the Dark One.

Both the Evil Queen and the Dark One look up, and only have a second to register what it is, before it barrels into the Dark One, sending the two of them flying into a tree only a few feet away. The Dark One winces, and I can tell he's holding back a grunt.

_Good move, Shadow. Use the element of surprise while you still can. _

My turn.

I turn back to the Evil Queen and draw my knives. I've been down this road before, her with her fire, me with my knives. Maybe if I'm nice, I'll let it look like she has a chance.

The Evil Queen doesn't waste time. She throws a fireball at me, which I quickly dodge. She throws another one at me before I can do anything else, causing me to drop into a roll and come up on one knee.

Without pausing, I throw both of my knives at her, so that they fly dangerously close to face. She quickly moves to dodge, but they are too close. One takes a lock of her hair, while the other one cuts her, ever so slightly, across the cheek.

_And she thought I had bad aim._

Her hand involuntarily goes to the cut, giving me enough time to slip behind a tree, and imagine another pair of knives. I only have seconds before she recovers, and comes after me, so I take advantage of my shelter to throw another knife at her. She sees it, and quickly dodges, causing it to cut her blue jacket and not her flesh.

She throws another fireball at me, causing me to duck behind the tree, so a nearby bush lights on fire instead.

_Knives against fire. I may be good, but I'm not getting the heart unless I get closer. I can't do that unless I expose myself. _

I glance at the Shadow, which is throwing bursts of pure magic at the Dark One. The Dark One, like his father was when he fought the Shadow, is trying his best, but I don't think he's realized that light hurts the Shadow.

_Of course, he is the Dark One. I doubt he ever considers Light as an option. _

Either way, the Shadow has it covered. I need to get in close if I want to get the heart back.

Adrenaline is pumping through me as I turn to the burning foliage from the Queen's fireball.

Fight fire with fire.

I don't pause, as I imagine the flames growing bigger and brighter, my skin almost blistering from the heat. Then, I imagine the flames melding together, become one flame, and taking shape. Within a second, the flames are in the shape of a wolf. And it is angry.

_Alright, majesty. Two can play this game. _

"Sic 'em, boy!" I yell, as I imagine the flame wolf running from the bush and at the Queen.

The flame wolf does as it's told, running straight for my opponent, snarling. I see a hint of fear in the Queen's eyes, as she starts throwing bursts of lightning or water at it. It doesn't slow the wolf down, though. It exists purely through my imagination.

I grin, as I come out from behind the tree, imagining a couple more knives, and throwing them at her, now that she's distracted. One barely misses her, while the other catches onto her sleeve, right below her wrist. It stays stuck in the fabric, like a strange ornament.

She only has time to glance at it, just as the wolf pounces. She barely ducks out of the way, the flames catching her left hand. I can see her wince at the burn.

_That's for Devon!_

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the Dark One looking more exhausted while the Shadow continues to throw bursts of magic at him. The flame wolf has already turned to the Queen, and she's slowly backing away from it, her panic written all over her face. She doesn't know how to beat it.

_Backing away. Backing straight into a tree. Excellent. _

I glance at the Shadow, and an idea starts to form. A wild, insane, but perfect idea.

I allow the flame wolf to vanish, while I close my eyes. And using my sixth sense, I feel out for the wild, chaotic magic that surrounds me. The one that always existed on Neverland, the magic that is concentrated in the Shadow. I feel for the magic of Neverland, and I draw it in.

I take it in, soaking it up like a sponge. But unlike before, when I used it for comfort, I force it to stay inside me. To build up, like a river against a dam. And if there is one thing the wild magic of Neverland hates, it's being held back.

With an ecstatic grin, I wait until I can't hold it back any longer. Until the magic almost flows over the dam. I open my eyes to see the Queen staring at me in confusion, and the Dark One and Shadow fighting.

And then I let it go.

The magic escapes me in a single burst, and I can almost feel the pulse of it as it leaves me and flows all throughout Neverland.

The raw magic, the raw power of the magic is just what I need. It's enough to knock the Queen back, so that she runs into the closest tree behind her. And without a second thought, I have her bound with vines, much like her companions were not so long ago.

_Checkmate. I win. _

The pulse of magic didn't just knock down the Evil Queen. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the Dark One slowly getting to his feet, only to be pinned down by the Shadow. Of course the Shadow isn't affected. It is a part of Neverland. What I did was like flexing a muscle to it.

But my attention isn't on that. My attention is on the Evil Queen. The one who ripped out my brother's heart, to try and use him against us. Who tried to turn me against my brothers to get it back.

It's about time she, and everyone else here, learned what happens when you mess with my family.

I imagine more vines wrapping around her, almost like a bizarre mummy.

"You know," I say, my voice smooth as silk. "I wasn't around during the Witch Burnings. But Pan was. He tells me about them, from time to time. Apparently, when they caught an actual witch, her magic would try to preserve her against the flames for as long as possible."

The Queen looks at me with fearful bewilderment, and I let a smirk play against my lips, as I casually imagine a flame dancing across my fingers.

_What am I doing? Am I really threatening to do this? Have I really sunk that low? _

"But," I continue, shoving the thoughts to the back of my mind. "The witch's magic could not protect her forever. And bit by bit, the flames would consume her, until she was nothing but ash. The more powerful the witch, the slower, the more painful the death."

A grin, that I can only describe as feral, forces it's way onto my face, and I look down at the Queen, like a predator down to it's prey. I walk closer, so that the flame dancing across my fingers is less than a foot away from her and the vines that hold her down, despite her struggles.

"Shall we see how slowly you burn, your majesty?" I ask, almost casually.

_There. There it is. What I was wanting to see all along. Panic. _

Pure, undiluted panic. The same panic Devon felt when she ripped out his heart. The same panic I felt every night in my dreams, before Pan put up the barriers. Now she knows what it's like. Now she knows how it feels.

_I could take this farther,_ I realize. _I have her tied down. If I wanted, I could rip her heart out. I could rip her heart out, and act as a spy for me. I have the Dark One dagger, and I could make sure he doesn't tell. _

But if I do that...what makes me any different from her? What makes me any different than her mother, or Pan?

_No, I won't do it. I won't stoop to her level. I won't bring myself so low that I can't get up again. I came here for Devon, not to satisfy my own needs._

Besides...she's Henry's mother. If I do this to her, knowing that I am hurting the mom of that kid… now I understand why Rumple didn't want me to get hurt. He knew that it would hurt his son, and he didn't want that to happen. Just as I don't want Henry to get hurt. And if I do this to the Queen, in spite of everything she's done...I can't go down that road. Not now, not ever.

I let the flame vanish, and I imagine one of the vines moving like a snake into her jacket pocket, and wrapping around the pouch that contains Devon's heart. She doesn't struggle against it, doesn't grunt or make a sound. She is still watching me warily, waiting for me to strike.

The vine pulls the pouch from her pocket, and moves to me, placing it in my hand. I look down, and open the pouch, just to be sure.

_Yes, it's a heart. And I'm positive it's Devon's. _

Relief floods through me, and all the pressure, all the tension I have felt since I discovered the mirror vanishes, like a great weight lifted off of my shoulders.

This is it. I've done it. I've gotten his heart. He's safe now. He's safe. He's going to be alright.

I almost laugh with relief, before I turn back to the Queen, replacing my relief with an icy glare.

"You did not understand the consequences this time," I say, my voice just as cold. "So, for that I'll let you go. But remember this, majesty: if you _ever_, so much as _dare_, to lay a finger any of my brothers or anyone I love, I will make all of this-"

I gesture around, as if at the struggle that took place only moments ago.

"-Look like child's play."

I almost want to yell at her, to get in her face, to make sure she understands. But I don't. I won't let my anger get the better of me. I do that, and I lose the battle.

So instead, I send her one final glare, before I turn on my heel, and move to the center of the clearing.

"Shadow," I say, gaining its attention.

It has been holding down a struggling Dark One, yet both look up at me in surprise, as I take the strings of the pouch, and wind them around my belt for safe keeping.

"Time to go," I order.

The Shadow only nod and rises, releasing the Dark One. The imp only stares at me in shock, and yet… almost awed. As if he can't believe what he sees. As if he doesn't see the girl that Bae took from Pan's camp.

_Bae...Abby….what would they say if they had seen what I have just done? _

It suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. I was a hair's breadth away from killing her. I was ready to take her life, cross the line I swore never to cross after firing the arrow at Felix.

_I wanted to do it. I wanted to make her hurt. I wanted her to fear me, as so many others feared her. And I almost did it. I almost took her life. _

And the scary thing is that I wasn't doing it for Devon. I was doing it for me. Because I wanted to make her pay.

The revelation hits me like a punch to the stomach, and I find myself gasping for breath.  
_No, I can't show weakness. Not now. I have to go, and get Devon's heart back. I have to get it back to him, while there is still a shred of humanity inside of me. _

I imagine the vines freeing the Evil Queen, without even turning to look back at her. I can't let her, or the Dark One see weakness. So, I head for the jungle, in the quickest direction back to camp, the Shadow by my side, while I make sure to hold my head high as the Queen and Dark One stumble to their feet. It isn't until I'm out of sight that I start to break out into a run.

_I need to get home. I need to get Devon his heart back. I need to get away from...from whatever it was that I just did._

Gods, I wasn't acting like Pan. I was ready to kill her. I was ready to take her life, for vengeance. For no one but myself. I was worse than Pan.

I'm only about ten feet away, most likely still in hearing range, when I sink to my knees, and have to swallow back the bile rising in my throat.

What did I just do? _What did I just do? _

I'm shivering, yet sweat is covering every inch of my body. Hot tears stream down my face, but I don't know why.

_No, that's wrong. I do know. I'm crying because I let myself go. In those few minutes, I let myself become a monster. _

The Shadow is right beside me, hovering as if waiting orders.

_But what can I tell it? Why does it follow me anyway? Why does it follow a monster? _

I want to stay here and cry. I want to sob my heart out right here, and let the pain out. Because I almost killed. I was ready to take a life, because I lost control.

But I can't, I think as I force myself to get up, using a nearby tree for support. Not right now. Devon still needs his heart. I get it back to him, then I can have a good cry and wallow in self-misery.

I take a deep breath, and I wipe my eyes. I have to keep moving. I can't linger here, and let them find me. I need to get back to camp. Back to my brother.

That's when I hear someone, the Evil Queen, snap something at the Dark One.

"What?" she says. "Why are you staring like that?"

There is a pause, as if almost hesitant, before I hear the Dark One's quiet response.

"You could sense it," he replies and he sounds almost… in awe. "The power inside that girl. The magic of Neverland, she doesn't just have it. It's _part_ of her. It's magic is flowing through her heart, it seeps into her veins every time she bleeds. It enters her every time she breathes. Magic isn't running like a river though her. She has an ocean inside of her, and she doesn't even know it. She can destroy, or change, or create without batting an eye. Here, she's even more powerful than me, or any Dark One who ever lived. She may even be more powerful than Emma ever will be."

_What? What is he saying? That I absorb Neverland's magic. That's true. I've always known that. So why is he saying it like it's such a big deal?_

I turn to the Shadow, which is watching me warily. Something, just something, tells me this has to do with everything. Why it obeys me, why it protects me. There is a pause, and I can almost imagine the look the Queen gives him, as she tells him to continue.

"So?" she asks, when he doesn't say anything.

"So," the Dark One replies. "What exactly did Pan do to take a goddess like her, and turn her into a servant?"

I can practically feel my stomach drop at these words.

What? What is he saying? A goddess? Has he gone insane? I may be a powerful Dreamer, but in no way am I that powerful.

_Why would he say that...what…_

"Come," the Shadow says, drawing me from my shock. "We must go."

Right. It's right. We have to keep moving, before they find us.

I slowly rise to my feet, but I can't help but stare at the clearing, only a little ways away. At the words that were said. It doesn't make any sense.

_Why would he say that?_

Almost mechanically, I start to follow the Shadow away from the two dark forces, and slowly, my stomach starts to relax. I hadn't even noticed how twisted it felt until just now.

Then again, being around such darkness...how could I not feel overwhelmed? How could I not feel sick? I don't think being near the Shadow is helping that much either.

Everything that just happened… I made the choice to go after Devon's heart. But just by looking back… I was ready to kill. To hurt someone to get my brother's heart back. I was ready to cross a line I swore I never would cross to get it back. I look back at what I did only moments ago, and I don't recognize myself. It was like something inside me, some sort of rage had taken over, and took control before I thought about it.

But then again, that's what happened. I let my anger at everything: at Hook, for calling me a whore, at Felix for his anger at me, at the Evil Queen for taking Devon's heart, at Pan for the bruises, for refusing to go after Devon, for lying and manipulating me, for taking Bae, and for treating me like his damn toy, I let it build up, consume me, and control me to the point that I was ready to take a life. My rage needed a victim, and it lashed out on those who attacked my brother. And as a result, I let myself become a monster.

"What did I just do, Shadow?" I ask, my voice empty of any emotion or thought.

The Shadow looks down at me, as if surprised, but it continues moving. If I didn't know better, I would almost say that it's confused. I never expected that, not from the high and mighty 'Guardian of Neverland.' I still walk beside it, staring ahead morosely.

"You accomplished your task," the Shadow replies, slowly. "You took back your brother's heart. That was your goal, was it not?"

I look down at the pouch, knowing what it contains. My brother's heart. He's safe now. Devon is safe, and he won't have to be afraid anymore.

_I saved his life. The witch would have killed him, or worse. That's good. I protected my brothers. I took care of them. _

"Yeah," I reply, not looking at the Shadow. "But at what cost? I was… Shadow, I almost killed that bitch. I almost made David kill his own wife. I lost control, I lost myself to my anger. You saw me, and I…"

I trail off, not even sure of what to say. How can I even describe what I just did? It was a side of me I haven't seen before, and I didn't like it. I let myself become a monster, because it was what I needed to be. And as much as I want to say that it's alright, and I won't do it again, I can't help but remember Henry.

_I am going to help kill this kid to save my brothers. I almost killed his family to save one brother. I'm trying to save my family, but at what cost? An innocent boy's life? Bae's son? The rest of his family? _

"You did what you had to," the Shadow replies, it's voice taking a strange tone. As if it's trying to sound comforting. "You knew the only way you could retrieve the heart was to take it by force, so you did. And in doing so, you made sure that it was clear that the boys are under your protection. You did well, Dreamer."

Doing what I had to? Yes, I did what I had to. I became a monster to save my brother. I threatened, and I caused pain, and I relished it because it meant that those who hurt my family were now experiencing their own pain.

_But why? Why did it have to be this way? Me against the rest of the world? Why do I have to become the monster, and do things that I regret to save my family? Why do I have to be the one who pulls more than their fair share, who has to sacrifice what little good is left inside to save everyone I love? _

Without thinking, I grab a random stone on the ground and throw it as hard as I can with a frustrated shout. I rake a hand through my hair, just trying to think, but it's as if my mind's gone blank.

"We had a chance!" I cry, not to the Shadow, maybe at myself. "We could have done it easily. Four or five people, we could have taken back Devon's heart, no problem. But Pan refused! He refused, so I had to get my hands dirty. I had to go down a path that I don't want to go down. Because he didn't protect Devon. He _never_ protected Devon!"

I don't care who hears me. Hell, let all the world hear me, and know, I don't care anymore. I'm just so angry, and I feel if I hold back, I'm going to burst.

"He's never protected any of us!" I yell, my hands balled into fists. "He's never protected the boys, he never has, he never will. We're just his toys. They're just the tools in his belt that he uses to get me to play by his rules. He doesn't care about them; he never cared about them. Even if the hourglass weren't running out, he still wouldn't save Devon. He claims they are his family, but he's lying. He doesn't care. I do! He's never been there for my brothers; I have! He isn't family; he's our jailer!"

Hot, angry tears are pouring down my face, and I wipe them away bitterly. I never realized all that was inside me. Maybe it always was, and I just haven't thought about it until now. That anger at Pan, just knowing that something was wrong.

He lied to Felix about Sebastian. He tells me I'm his sister, then looks at me with something that makes my blood run cold every time he thinks about me. He says he cares about my brothers, but then he'll use them to get me to fall in line.

_This entire time, he's lied to us. Pretended that we are a family, when the truth is we're his toys. And somehow, I lost sight of that._

"This is a good thing, Dreamer," the Shadow replies, still trying to make its voice sound comforting.

_Good? How can this be good? He's forcing me to choose between my brothers and an innocent life. How is that in anyway good? _

It must sense my confusion, because it lowers itself closer to me, so that it's at eye level with me.

"You do what you have to to protect your loved ones," the Shadow says. "But you regret crossing a line that will send you down a dark path. That means that you care about them. That means that you regret the choices you make. It means you are the farthest thing from Pan."

The way the Shadow says this...something is off, and I can't figure out what. It's not comforting. It's...almost matter-of-fact. As if it were obvious. As if…

_This has something to do with why it protects me. I know it. I don't know how, but this feeling in my gut just tells me…_

"You owe me answers," I state, looking it in the eyes. "Why are you protecting me? Why do you obey me? What makes me so important?"

Once those eyes bored into my soul, and I could never look at them. But not now. I don't care what it sees, I am done with so many people dragging me in every direction. I have been doing this game for far too long, and I want some bloody answers.

The Shadow stares at me for a moment, before nodding.

"It's about time that you know," it says, almost to itself.

It turns to me, and floats just a couple of inches over me.

"When you first came to Neverland," the Shadow begins. "You could feel the magic around you. How did it feel?"

I shrug, not sure where it's going with this.

"Wild," I reply. "Chaotic. Untameable."

"Exactly," the Shadow says, with another nod. "Neverland's magic is wild and unending, just like dreams."

"And as a Dreamer, my heart absorbs magic easily and I can channel it to make it do what I want," I add, remembering what Pan told me years ago.

The Shadow is nodding, almost eagerly, as it rises up higher. Somehow, I get the feeling that this is something it's been wanting to say for a while, but didn't because it wasn't sure how. Or maybe it was just too busy sulking after I beat it years ago.

_It doesn't matter, _I tell myself. _It's telling me now, and… I think it is actually being honest with me. _

"Neverland has always been a place for children to visit in their dreams," the Shadow continues. "It's magic ran through the hearts of all who visited. But that all changed when Pan decided to stay here. Magic wasn't just running through his heart, it was all around him. As the Dark One said, it was in the air he breathed, in the water he drank, in the food he ate."

"Because he was physically in Neverland," I interrupt, the pieces starting to come together. "Instead of his dreams. So magic ran directly through him."

It's suddenly all coming together. That's why Pan is so powerful. Why he can teleport, and cut off his shadow, and rip out others' shadows and hearts. Because he was the first to stay in Neverland. The first to break the rules.

_But if that's the case...why the hourglass? Pan told me himself, that the magic that runs through my heart is keeping me young and alive without his magic. If magic is running through him as well, why is he dying? _

"So why the hourglass?" I ask, looking up at the Shadow. "If the magic of Neverland is running through Pan, why is he on borrowed time? Why is he dying?"

The Shadow looks at me for a moment, then looks away almost guiltily.

"It was Neverland's way of amending a mistake," it mutters.

Neverland's way? What, is this island alive?

"When Pan and the boy arrived on Neverland," the Shadow explains. "It's magic surged through both of their hearts. Pan was unable to use his, because he was an adult. So I… I showed him how to become a child again. Understand, it had been years since a child had visited in their dreams. Just as water longs to be free of a dam, Neverland's magic longed to flow through another's heart again. I knew then that either the boy or Pan should stay, so the magic could flow again. But I made the wrong choice. I told Pan how to stay on the island, at the cost of his son."

I hear something in it's voice. Something I never expected to hear: regret. Guilt. Remorse.

_Gods… it's serious. It really wishes that it never told Pan what to do. It recognizes the monster Pan has become, and how it all came back to that one choice. Pan or Rumple. And it chose Pan, who chose to give up his son. _

He gave up his son for magic. That's… that's sick. What's worse is that his son did the same thing. He traded Bae for the powers of the Dark One. Even after his father abandoned him, he did the same thing with Bae.

_Maybe the twisted feeling I have around both isn't just dark magic. Maybe it's because I know I'm standing by two men who were too cowardly to raise their children. Just as my own father was. _

"So Neverland amended my mistake," the Shadow says. "The magic was already flowing through Pan, and Neverland could not take it back. But Neverland could cut off the magic fueling his youth. Limit it to whatever had already entered him. The magic he had traded his son for. So the hourglass was created, and Pan's time started to run out. But he still remained on Neverland, with the magic flowing through him. Even as he gathered his group of minions, no one could channel Neverland's magic as he did. He was the most powerful person to walk Neverland's shores, and he knew it. Until you came."

My heart jolts at this, as I remember the Dark One's words only moments ago: _what did Pan do to take a goddess like her and make her into a servant._

_It can't be seriously telling me… no way… that's impossible…_

"What are you saying?" I whisper, though something tells me I already know.

"That the Dark One was right in what he said," replies the Shadow. "You have the heart of the most powerful Dreamer in history. You channel Neverland's magic almost involuntarily. It is as natural as a heartbeat for you. You entered Neverland, and Neverland's magic started flowing through you like an ocean. You channel magic in ways that Pan never could."

_No that… that doesn't make sense. I know I'm powerful, but I'm not that powerful. Pan can match me with magic easily. If I truly am as powerful as the Shadow indicates, then why is Pan able to get me?_

I shake my head, trying to wrap my head around it.

"That doesn't make sense," I protest. "I was never that powerful. Pan wanted my heart to save himself, and he picked the best he could find. But I never-"

"Think, Dreamer!" the Shadow insists. "You're right, Pan wanted your heart to buy himself time. He never anticipated how powerful you were. He sensed it the moment you came to Neverland. And he knew, in that moment, that if you reached your full potential, you could swat him like a fly. So he had to act fast. He needed your heart, and for that, he needed you under his control. Because if you realized what you are capable of, he would never be able to hold onto you."

"That doesn't-" I start, but then I stop.

_Wait…_

I came to Neverland, and what was the first thing Pan did? Chased me down. Made me fear him. Renamed me, so that I believed that I belonged to him. It wasn't until he knew that I was afraid of him, that I saw him as someone to be feared, someone I couldn't fight, that he taught me magic. And even afterwards, he kept playing his games. Trying to break me, trying to get me to submit to him. And when I made it clear that no matter what he did, after I lost Abby, Hook, and Bae, he used my brothers against me.

_Gods… gods, it makes sense. That was why he did all of this. It started out as a way to ensure that I didn't rise up against him. But I wouldn't give in. I still fought, and he became obsessed. Obsessed with breaking me, of having power over me. _

"But…" I murmur. "But why teach me magic? If he didn't want me to realize I was stronger than him, why teach me magic at all? All he needed was my heart, not my magic. Why bother to teach me?"

With Pan, wouldn't be surprised if it was just the game. Yet… all the same…

"Because you were still useful to him, with your magic," the Shadow explains. "You know Pan; he isn't one to let a good tool go to waste. He taught you the basics of using your magic, then waited. Waited for the opportunity to ensure that you never fully realized your true potential."

I blink, trying to remember when Pan ever could have done something like that. He convinced me he was stronger almost as soon as I came to Neverland. But when did he ever have the opportunity to cut off my…

_Wait…_

It was years ago, but… I gave him the opportunity. He played as if he was trying to help me, but I remember the gleam in his eyes. He had been happy. He had been so glad that I had allowed him to do this. I've always thought it was because I seemed to be submitting to him but now…

"The day he put up the barriers," I whisper, my eyes widening as I realize this. "When he stopped my soul from going to the Enchanted Forest."

I remember it now. The weight, as if something was being held back. All the time, I thought it was just because my soul couldn't go to the Enchanted Forest with the curse. But what if that was never it? What if it was my magic being affected in some way?

"He took the opportunity then," the Shadow confirms. "He took the ocean of magic that's flowing through your heart, and turned it into a steady stream. Enough to keep you powerful, but never enough to defeat him. Because he knew the truth. He knew that you were more powerful than him. That you could easily overpower him, and make Neverland yours."

"What?" I ask, staring at it, crossing my arms. "Make Neverland mine? What does that even mean?"

The Shadow looks down on me, yet I can almost feel that something has changed. It doesn't look at me like a foolish child it has to protect. It looks at me with a sort of… respect. Not for what I have done, but almost as if… as if I'm its superior.

Take Neverland from Pan, make it mine… it's acting as if I'm some sort of ruler…

_Oh, gods…_

"No," I mutter. "No way. You've got to be _kidding_ me."

The Shadow shrugs, seeing that I understand what it's saying. It hovers close, but in no way threatening.

"Pan has called himself 'King of Neverland' for centuries," it replies. "For ages, Neverland has been ruled by a somewhat powerful child that treats people like toys. Which do you think Neverland would rather support? The child, or the girl who has done nothing but protect her loved ones, who is much more powerful than Pan could ever dream of? The girl who has the power to create with just her imagination, who could change objects, or destroy them completely if she knew how? The girl who, if she realized her true power, could almost be a goddess, but would use her power to protect those who can't protect themselves."

I almost drop my knives from my sleeves. I can only stare at the Shadow in shock, as I realize what it is I see when it looks at me. Respect for a ruler. Respect for a queen.

_Oh. My. Gods. _

I realize my jaw is hanging open, and I close it with a snap.

_What… but… how… _

So many questions are racing through my mind right now, as I try to think, try to move, try to just do or say something, at this revelation. But I can't think of anything. It all just seems so surreal. I can't believe what's happening.

The Shadow, the thing that tried to kill my brothers years ago, is telling me that I'm supposed to rule Neverland. That it wants me to take down Pan, and rule Neverland.

"I understand if this is a shock," the Shadow starts, slowly.

_Shock? Oh, this is way past shock. I'm surprised I'm not catatonic at this point. Hell, I'm surprised I'm still able to breathe at this point. _

I asked for answers, but I never thought I would get… whatever this is.

"What the hell?" I mutter, tearing my eyes away from the Shadow. My hands are behind up my head, as if trying to hold it upright, as I turn around.

_I can't think. I can't do anything. I just… _

I glance down at the pouch that is still hanging on my belt.

_Devon. I need to help Devon. That is what I left to do, so that is the task I'm going to finish. He needs my help, and dammit, I need something normal for once in my life. _

Somehow, I just need to get away from this. From this war between my brothers and Henry's family. From Pan, the magic, Hook, Bae, the Dark One, all of it.

But I can't get out of it. That's the point. I'm in the middle of this, but I don't want to be. I just want my family safe. That's all I've ever wanted.

"Dreamer?" The Shadow inquires, for once sounding unsure.

It isn't sure how to react. It drops this on me, but it had no idea what it was going to do afterwards. Did it think I would just go along with what it said, and just accept it?

_I can't accept it, though. This is… too much. All of it, it's too much. _

"I… I," I stammer. "I have to go."

I can almost swear that the Shadow's posture falters, as if it's disappointed. It didn't want me to act like this.

_Well, what did it expect? That I would just turn myself into some princess-sorceress who would throw down Pan and take back Neverland? The truth is I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, and even though I asked for answers, this was not what I wanted to hear. _

"I understand," the Shadow says. "And I can't stop you. We both know that now. Go back to the boy, restore his heart."

Relief sweeps through me, and I nod. For once, something reassuring.

_I can get Devon's heart back to him. After that, I'll figure it out from there._

I turn around, and start to walk away. I have no idea if I'm going the right way, I just have to get away from here. I just have to-

"Dreamer!" the Shadow calls.

Immediately, I turn around to face the Shadow, who is still hovering in the same spot.

"There are things Pan has kept from you," it says. "Things you should know. I understand your desire to leave now, but when you are ready to hear them… come find me. I will give you answers."

I nod, mechanically. But the relief inside me grows.

The Shadow has to follow me. Even if I can't comprehend it right now, it follows my instructions. This means that it is no longer a threat. It can't- it won't- hurt my brothers any longer.

_One less enemy to worry about. Hell, I have an ally now. _

The thought makes me smile slightly, and I find myself standing a little taller.

_But… what else is Pan not telling me? What else is he hiding from me? What did the Shadow mean when it said…_

I break into a run, making for the nearest zipline.

I will think about this later. Right now, I have a very scared brother who is waiting to have his heart back in his chest.

* * *

**A/N: Whew! That chapter took me forever to write. **

Hey y'all! Sorry about the wait for this chapter. It took me forever to write, especially the fight between Jess and Regina. Also, my beta is in New Mexico, with no wifi whatsoever, and couldn't read this chapter. So, I want to apologize for any grammar mistakes in this chapter, as she didn't have time to read this before she left.

Now, usually, I like to keep these cheerful, but I'm afraid I have to turn to a more serious note:

A few weeks ago, I found out that someone had been copying this story and publishing it as their own work on Wattpad. Luckily, the site took it down when I alerted them, and as far as I can tell, the "author" hasn't tried to republish. But, guys, _please_ don't do something like this. I have poured my heart and soul into this story, and the idea of someone else pretending it's their own is absolutely disgusting to me. I want this story to be shared with others, not ripped off.

If one of y'all want to help share this story on other websites, then great! PM me, or contact me some other way, and we'll work something out. I'll always be happy to see _Fading Away_ go further. But don't go behind my back, and claim credit for this story. It's disrespectful to me, to your fellow readers, and to everyone who has helped this story come together. So, if y'all find anything like this, please let me know. I'm only publishing on Fanfiction and Inkitt right now, so anything else is plagiarism. Please, let me know, and please, don't try to copy my work.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way time for something a little more cheerful:

As some of you may know, I have imagined Vin being portrayed by Lyndsy Fonseca (a talented actress, and a dead ringer for Vin). Well, one of my awesome readers, **ColdHeartAngel**, learned that one of her friends was meeting Lyndsy at a Comic Con, and took the liberty to ask that her friend show Lyndsy an excerpt of this story. I repeat: the actress who could play Vin _has read this story! _

Seriously, y'all, I am absolutely blown away by how much y'all have responded to this story. Words just can't describe how grateful I am to have such wonderful readers. It honestly brings tears to my eyes at how lucky I am to have you guys. I want to thank each and every one of you, especially **ColdHeartAngel**, for sticking to Vin and her journey.

A special thanks to** tferrant, Huntress-in-the-TARDIS, Clear Imaginer, TheAntidisestablishmentarian, Wolf's Dark Rose Angel, ourlovestory221, Loosing Myself in Love, **and **RedOwl96** for putting this story on alert, and to **tferrant, Elimindreda, JHandARINstickynotes, , ILoveAnime89, Clear Imaginer, Jocie413, ****TheAntidisestablishmentarian, Wolf's Dark Rose Angel, ****ourlovestory221, Fanofpan, Lady Shinkukaze, Loosing Myself in Love,** and** OlliePop1** for favoriting it.

Also, thank you **Shinonome Sakuya, Authora97, GiraffePanda2, LeopardFeather, The-Living-Shadow, ColdHeartAngel, 1211, LunaEvanna Longbottom, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Lightose8860, katerinamak2015, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, The Wolf Who Writes, HOAfan8509, meguhanu, Female whovian, **Neverland Dreamer, Silverfury01, SuperFanNumber1, jo, and the many guests who reviewed.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Vin's fight with Regina, and the Shadow's revelation are especially appreciated. Was the Shadow clear, or was it confusing? Let me know! **:)**


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: Okay, quick note before the chapter:**

**Once again, a good bit of this chapter are Vin coming to terms with some things. There is some more action, but it is mainly her internal thoughts. I thought I should give y'all a heads up. Now, on with the story. **

* * *

My head is still spinning by the time I get back to camp.

Everything the Shadow said to me still is weighing on my mind. How I supposedly have god-like powers, and I'm supposed to take Neverland from Pan.

Maybe it's because I always feared Pan, but something about this just feels wrong. As if there is still something I'm missing. But I don't know what it is for the life of me.

I have no doubt that the Shadow was being honest with me. I just don't know what to think. How the hell am I supposed to react to being told something like that?

Now it isn't just my brothers relying me. All of Neverland itself is relying on me to usurp Pan.

But if what the Shadow is saying is true… what, am I supposed to rise up and let my brothers die? If that's the case, then the Shadow can forget it. I won't abandon my brothers for Neverland. I've come too far to ensure their safety, I won't throw that away now.

_Just focus on getting Devon,_ I tell myself. _After that, I can figure all of this out. Gods, what a mess. _

_I don't think the Shadow was saying I was a goddess. Even that seems a little too far-fetched. But ruling Neverland, throwing down Pan… it makes sense. It's why Pan took every opportunity possible to make me feel weak or make me scared of him. _

He didn't want me realizing how powerful I am. If I did, I might have been able to overthrow him early on in the game. I could have escaped him easily. Hell, I might have been able to see Abby again, get home before he made me drink the water.

_But in doing so, in making me drink the water, I gained my brothers. I never would have opened my heart to them, never would have become their sister if I hadn't chosen to stay with them. That has to count for something. _

Right?

_Was it worth it?_ I wonder. _In losing Abby, losing my life back in the Land Without Magic, I became a Lost Girl. I became their sister. I lost everything the day I drank the water, but the day I accepted myself as their sister, I had everything I could ever want. If I could do it over, would I lose Abby to gain my brothers? _

The truth is I don't know. I can't answer that question. I can't choose between my sister or my brothers. It's a choice I wouldn't make in a thousand years.

Yet Pan would still make me choose if he thought it would break me. It makes sense. In his eyes, I'm a rival to him. Someone who can take away his power over Neverland, and use it to her own advantage. So he tried to break me, before I could realize the truth. He turned it into a game, throwing down his rival before I could even rise. But I refused to break. I refused to finish the game, and let him win. So he became obsessed. Obsessed with breaking me, with driving me over the edge.

And had it not been for my brothers, I might have done it. I might have broken if I hadn't made a choice. And that choice was to love them. Not Pan, them. I made a choice, and it was my brothers.

_So where does me taking back Neverland come in? _

I shake my head, pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind. Right now, I have a more important task.

I climb down from the tree with one of my ziplines, not too far from camp. My sixth sense tells me that Pan isn't here. Good.

I don't know if what the Shadow said changed anything, or if I'm just angry at him. But I know I don't want to see him right now. I don't want to face him, not until I know for sure what my next move is.

As I get closer to camp, I see the other boys, some sparring, others huddled around the fire. I'm just outside camp, able to make their outlines, when I see Marcus, who is sitting across from me, beside Devon.

He looks up at my gaze, and his expression changes marginally, as he realizes that I'm back. He doesn't say anything, but he raises his eyebrows, silently asking me if I got it. I nod, patting the pouch tied to my belt. Relief flashes across his face, as he nudges Devon.

I look to Devon, and my heart sinks. Even though he is doing his best to hide it, his eyes are scared, and tense. As if he's expecting the Evil Queen to crush his heart any second. I'm not even in camp, but I can see his hands shaking, and jaw clenched, as if he's doing his best to hide his panic.

_But that's alright. He doesn't have to worry anymore. I made it. I got his heart back. He's going to be okay._

At Marcus's nudge, Devon looks up, before he sees me. Our eyes meet, and I smile reassuringly, nodding. I can almost feel the relief that floods in his eyes, as he stands and walks over to me as casually as possible. None of the other boys seem to take notice, except Marcus, who is watching us carefully. As Devon gets closer, I start to grin, feeling my own relief as well.

_I have his heart. He's going to be alright. He's safe. My brother is going to be okay. _

I nod to a small area away from camp, just in case someone sees. I don't want anyone realizing what happened, just in case the other boys start panicking. That is the last thing we need right now. Devon nods in understanding, and I start to walk as he follows.

As soon as we're out of sight, he looks down at the pouch tied to my belt.

"You got it?" He whispers eagerly.

I smile, as I reach into the pouch to remove the heart.

"Yeah," I reply, pulling it out. "I got it. You're going to be okay, Dev."

Devon stares down at the heart in my hand for a second, before looking back up at me. His heart isn't even back in his chest yet, but he still looks like he's going to cry from relief.

Hell, I feel like I could cry right now. In spite of everything that has been going on, from Emma rescuing Bae, to the Dark One dying in order to kill Pan, to the Shadow's revelation, something is just right. My brother is safe. And when it comes down to it, that's all that matters. That my brothers are safe. Not some man calling me a whore, not a sorceress who believes she can hurt my brothers, and not some belief that I'm supposed to take Neverland from Pan. What matters is my family.

"Okay," I murmur, taking a deep breath, holding his heart firmly in my hand. "Let's see if we can get this back in you."

Devon nods, grinning, and exposes his chest, leaning on a nearby tree for support. I reach out, and feel the place where his heart should be.

_Gods, please let me be able to put it in correctly…_

I line up the heart, and exhale. Almost instinctively, I will the magic of Neverland to flow through me and to guide my hand. Without a second thought, I shove Devon's heart into his chest.

My hand goes through instantly, and Devon visibly winces at the pain. I don't even know how I do it, but I feel the heart just fall into place, like a final puzzle piece fitting in the right spot. Clenching my teeth, I will my hand to let go of the heart, and I pull my hand out.

Devon gasps, and doubles over, grasping a tree branch for support.

_Gods, did I do that right? Is he okay? _

My worries vanish in a flash when I see the look on Devon's face. It's relief and ecstasy rolled into one. He looks like he's ready to laugh or cry in joy, and at his expression, I could easily do the same.

_He's okay. I did it. He got his heart back. He's safe. _

Relief doesn't even begin to describe what I feel as Devon pulls me into a tight hug. I feel hot tears soak into my shirt, and my own eyes go misty as I hug him back.

_He's alright. He's safe. My brother is safe. _

"Thank you, Vin," Devon whispers.

I only can nod, as I keep hugging him. Even though I faced the Dark One and Evil Queen only an hour ago, the only time I truly felt terrified was whenever they threatened Devon. Whenever the Evil Queen tried to harm my brother. And even though I don't say it out loud, I was so scared. Scared that they would take my brother, that they would use him as a puppet, and I could do nothing to help him. But that isn't what happened. My brother is okay. He's going to be fine.

"It's alright," I reply softly, not daring to move, or to be the first one to pull back.

"No, really," Devon says earnestly, finally pulling away, and looking me in the eye. "Thank you. Marcus told me what you did, after Pan…"

He trails off, but I know what he means. He knows that I defied Pan, that I went behind his back to retrieve Devon's heart on my own. Pan wouldn't do anything, so I took matters into my own hand.

"What are sisters for?" I ask, playfully shrugging.

Devon smiles, but his eyes are serious.

"I mean it, Vin," he insists. "_Thank you._"

Gods, how do these two words almost move me to tears? I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat, just to see that look of relief in Devon's eyes again. He doesn't have to thank me, but there is so much more to those words. It's all his pain, all his fear that he had to control for the past hours washed away.

_Because I took action, and helped. Because I looked after my brothers. Because I looked after him. _

I look away, and wipe my eyes, but I can't keep a small smile from making its way onto my face.

"I love you, Devon," I reply, simply. "I'm always going to look after you."

Devon nods, his own smile telling me he understands. He pulls me in for one more hug, and kisses the top of my head in a brotherly way.

"Thanks, Vin," he murmurs again.

I nod, before pulling away. And for a moment, I allow myself to forget everything. Pan, Hook, the Shadow, Henry, everything. I let it slip away, and enjoy this moment. My brother is safe. He's going to be okay.

"Come on," I finally say, nodding back to camp. "We better go before anyone starts to think something's up."

"They probably won't," Devon replies. "Marcus told Pan you were tired and went to take a nap at your treehouse. Pan didn't buy it until Mat backed up Marcus's story. Pan left after that, but Felix is still here. I don't think he knows what happened, though."

I wouldn't be too sure about that. Felix is usually more perceptive than the other boys give him credit for. Even though he can be such an idiot at other times. Still, the other boys did cover me. At least they saw how it was wrong to leave Devon to fend for himself, even if Pan and Felix didn't.

"Good," I mutter, as we make our way back to camp.

Once we reach camp, I'm aware of just how exhausted I am. I hadn't realized how I was almost running on adrenaline alone, just to give Devon his heart back. I used up all of my energy fighting and tracking down the people who took his heart, I hadn't thought of what it was doing to me.

Marcus sees us, and the looks on our faces tell him everything he needs to know. He glances at Felix, who is sharpening a spear by the fire, but I can tell he's watching us out of the corner of his eye. Marcus must sense it too, because he doesn't say anything. He just nods to me, grinning, as Devon makes his way over to Marcus. Marcus claps him on the back, and grins, before giving me a thumbs up. I give a small smile in return, before plopping down next to the campfire.

I'm exhausted, but just seeing the joy in Marcus's face, the relief in Devon's eyes makes it all worth it.

I would give my life for all of my brothers in a second, just to make sure they are like this forever. Happy. Hopeful. Not having to be afraid of dying within a few days. Not having to make the decision I have to. To kill an innocent so that they may live.

I sigh, before leaning back against a nearby log. I don't want to think of that. Not right now. My mind is already in a spin after everything the Shadow told me.

_But, honestly? To hell with the Shadow. Pan can keep Neverland for all I care. All I want is my brothers safe. All I want is for them to be happy. Nothing, not even who rules Neverland, can come before that. _

But if the Shadow was telling the truth, and I am more powerful than Pan… then why can't I save them? Why can't I help save my brothers? I'm more powerful than Pan, shouldn't I be able too-

I'm pulled from my thoughts when Felix sits down next to me, spear still in his hands.

What? I thought he wasn't talking to me. That he was angry because I left with Bae, and I couldn't make up my mind to kill Henry. And gods, though I hate myself for it, I will do it if it means saving my brothers. But in his mind, the damage is done.

_So why is he sitting next to me? _

"Devon is looking well, isn't he?" Felix remarks, almost nonchalantly as he admires his handiwork with his spear.

I feel my heart clench, as I focus on keeping my features under control.

Damn it, I should have seen this coming. Devon is far too happy for someone who has had his heart ripped out. Of course Felix would see through that in a second.

"I suppose," I reply, as if bored, not daring to look at Felix.

Inside, though, my heart is pounding. He knows; I can tell. He knows the truth, and if he tells Pan that I went behind his back…

_Gods, please let Emma and her friends have rescued Bae by now. Because if they haven't, I know Pan will hurt Bae to punish me. To make me pay for defying him. _

He will hurt Bae, because I took action when he didn't. Where is the fairness in that? Then again, when has my life ever been fair?

"I know what you did, Vin," Felix deadpans, before turning to look at me.

_Oh gods…_

I turn to look at him, and something inside me snaps.

No, he doesn't get to do this. He doesn't get to be angry at me for doing the right thing. He can't act like I'm betraying him every time I do something he doesn't like. I already have enough of that from Pan, and I sure as hell don't need it from Felix.

"So?" I ask, angrily. "What are you going to do? Take Devon's heart out and give it back to the Evil Queen? Come on, Felix, we both know that someone had to get it. And just because I dared to defy Pan, and believed in something called free will, doesn't mean-"

I'm cut off when he clamps a hand over my mouth. I look up at him angrily, ready to slap him, when I see the look in his eyes. They aren't frustrated or upset, like I expected. They're almost… amused.

"Don't you ever stop talking?" He asks, a small smile forming on his face.

I roll my eyes, and try to say "no," but it's just muffled by his hand.

Felix chuckles at this, before removing his hand.

"I was going to say good job, Vin," he explains.

_What? When did this happen? He was the one supporting Pan, the one who said Pan was right. When did he switch sides? If anything, I thought he would be angry that I left again. _

"You...what?" I ask, trying to wrap my head around this.

First the Shadow telling me about taking Neverland, now this. Are there any more surprises for me tonight?

Felix smirks, and he puts down the spear beside him.

"I didn't know you would do it," he says, shrugging. "You did say you agreed with Pan, but Marcus's excuse was a little too obvious, even with Mat backing him up. But then you came back with Devon, grinning like Pan had taken the Heart of the Truest Believer, and I knew you did it. Which means you took down the Evil Queen on your own, without any support. Good job."

I stare at him, trying to figure out if this is some kind of trick. Something he's doing to try to for Pan, something to make me slip up. But no. He's being sincere. He truly means it. I can see it in his eyes. But… there is still doubt in his eyes. Even after this, he still isn't sure if he can trust me.

I bite my lip, resisting the urge to snap at him. I can understand why he's angry at me, but I also know now that I would do it again. If it meant seeing Bae again, if it meant hearing him assure me, seeing Abby again after all these years, then I would do it again.

"Felix, listen," I say, turning to him.

I half expect him to still be laughing, but something in my tone grabs his attention. He looks at me, and I can tell that he knows what's coming, and he's steeling himself for it.

He doesn't want to hear it, because he just believes I'll hurt him again. That I'll betray him, because I left with Baelfire. Because I abandoned my family, even if it was just for a few hours.

"You and I both know that I care about Bae," I murmur, just in case Henry hears. "We both know that he and I looked after each other for years. And even after all these years, I will still give my life for him."

Felix's eyes flash with frustration, and he opens his mouth to retort.

_No. I'm not letting him do that. I have faced down the Evil Queen and the Dark One, and I've seen and done some things that have confused me more than ever. But I was able to save Devon. That's what matters. Saving my brothers. And I can't let this… grudge between Felix and I fester any longer. _

Only a few days ago, I kissed him when we were playing Capture-the-Flag. And now we can't talk to each other, unless absolutely necessary. Because he was so angry at me, and I was crushed by the guilt. But now? I've chosen my side. I've chosen my brothers. And this has to stop now.

"Let me finish!" I snap, holding up a hand before he can say a word.

He shuts his mouth, and nods, allowing me to continue.

"When I left," I continue. "I did it because I had just learned Pan had lied to me. Again. I was angry, upset, and happy to see Bae again. But Felix… I was going to come back. I was always going to come back."

Felix blinks at this, and stares at me in confusion. It's almost as if he's never thought about this. As if he never considered the possibility that I was always going to come back.

Somehow, some emotion breaks through my exhaustion, and I reach out and take his hand. He looks down in surprise, then back to me.

"You're right," I go on, some unexplainable emotion rising in my chest. "You were right when you said that all of you boys had taken me in. That all of you have looked after me, helped me, and loved me. And Felix… I love all of you because of that. Don't you get that? You boys are my family. You have been my family from the beginning. Do you really know me that little, to think that I would ever leave my family?"

Felix meets my eyes, and I can see something change. Maybe the anger is fading, or the confusion. But some doubt still remains, and he looks away.

"Then why did you go with Baelfire?" He asks, looking at the flames.

I stare at him, trying to figure out a way to explain it. To just make him understand. He thinks Bae is the enemy, and it makes sense that he sees it that way.

_But I need my brother, my best friend, to understand the truth. That Bae isn't my enemy anymore than Felix is. He's my brother. _

"If Sebastian came to camp right now," I start, softly. "And asked you to come with him, even for a few hours, would you go?"

Felix's hand clenches at his brother's name, and I can see something change in his expression. Something… some sort of understanding.

"Bae is my Sebastian," I whisper, praying that he won't take this the wrong way. "And if there is one thing you have taught me, Felix, it's that the Lost Ones look after their family."

Felix stares at the fire in front of us, and his hands clenched, and his face very, very still. I know that face. It's his face whenever he thinks something over. He had the same expression when I first told him about Sebastian. I've known him long enough that I know his faces. I know all of my brother's expressions.

_Please understand,_ I silently hope. _Please understand, Felix. I've needed support more than ever, and I...I've missed you. My brother, my best friend. _

Finally, he turns to me, and I'm taken aback by the remorse in his expression. I had thought he would be understanding, or empathetic. But I never expected him to… regret what he had said.

"Vin…" he murmurs, looking down. "I'm an asshole."

For some reason, I can't help but laugh. It shouldn't be funny. Hell, it really isn't funny.

But after everything that has happened, everything that has taken place… I need to laugh again. I need to feel that relief, that feeling that something in the world is right.

And in a way, something is right.

"I'll agree with you there," I chuckle, and Felix's serious expression cracks into an embarrassed smile.

"I'm serious," he insists, but that only makes me laugh more.

Because I know he's being serious. I know he regrets what happened. I regret letting us fall apart. But I also know that he's sorry, and I know that I've said what needed to be said. He knows. He knows that I won't abandon my family, anymore than he would.

I try to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh, but I can tell it's catching. Even though he's trying to be calm and sincere, I can see the boy I kissed in the game resurfacing. The one who helped me fool Henry into thinking I was Pan, the one who joked that I needed more practice kissing.

"I know you are," I reply, moving my hand. "It just feels good to be able to laugh again."

Felix cocks his head, and I can tell that he sees something. He doesn't know what I went through, or what the Shadow told me. He doesn't know about the bruises, or what Pan has been doing to me. But he can see the pressure I've been under, and why I need something to laugh at.

He's always been like that. Always able to tell when something is bothering me.

Eventually, he nods, then turns to pull something out of his pocket. I try to lean over to see what it is, when he holds it out to me. It's a leather flask.

_What? _

I take it, looking over the flask in confusion. I can feel the liquid moving about inside, and it looks familiar. I remove the stopper, and inhale, trying to place the smell. Instead, I almost gag at the smell, and quickly put the stopper back on.

_Where have I seen this? And why is Felix showing me…_

"When we passed through their camp, just a few hours ago," Felix says with exaggerated nonchalance. "I saw that the pirate had left his rum behind."

_Hook's rum… no way… _

I feel my heart skip a beat, as i turn to Felix, a grin spreading across my face. He grins back, looking almost devious.

"You didn't…" I gasp, almost in awe.

_Oh gods, he might just be the biggest fool I've ever met. To steal Hook's rum from under his nose… _

Felix only nods, looking rather pleased with himself. Whether because we have made amends or because we're laughing again, I don't know. But it suddenly feels like a great weight has been lifted off the both of us, and it feels wonderful.

"Go on," he encourages, nodding. "Try some."

I grin, shaking my head playfully.

"He's going to kill you," I point out, grinning. "The minute he finds out you stole it from him."

"He should have been guarding it more carefully," Felix replies with a shrug. "Besides, if you'll drink, he'll kill both of us, right? Better than going out alone."

Usually, this would make me think of the choice I'm facing. Of how we only have a few days to get Henry's heart before I lose all my brothers. But not now. Not this moment. This is a happy moment, where I can forget everything, and just enjoy my time with my brother.

"Fair enough," I reply, casually.

With a dramatic sigh, I take swig of the rum. Immediately, a burning sensation floods my mouth, and throat when I swallow. I choke, not expecting the taste, and immediately start coughing. It takes all my self-control not to spit the stuff out right here.

_Oh gods, that's disgusting! _

My face must be funny, because Felix immediately starts laughing the second I swallow. And not some forced laughter. A genuine, real laugh. He's enjoying himself again.

_He knew that's what it tastes like! _I realize_,_ incredulously. _He knew I'd act like that, that's why he didn't tell me! _

"You rat!" I exclaim, elbowing him in the side.

He just continues laughing, and takes the flask from me. I try to keep my expression condescending and dignified, but that just gets him laughing again.

"Sometimes, Vin," he says. "You are just so damn gullible."

I feel my face flush, but I quickly try to hide it.

"Shut up," I say sheepishly, even though I'm smiling myself. "Remember who got distracted when a pretty girl kissed him during capture-the-flag."

Felix smiles, as if he's remembering the game. It feels like ages ago, even though it's only been two or three days since we played. I can never tell when it's always night here.

I wonder if that's something I'll be able to control. If the Shadow is right, and I take Neverland, I wonder if I can control when it is day, and when it is night.

The thought gives me chills, but they quickly vanish when Felix takes the flask back and takes a swig. Somehow, he's able to get it down without flinching. He gives me a teasing grin, and I stick my tongue out in reply, somehow acting more like one of the younger boys.

_Yes. Yes, this is right. Me and him, sitting in camp, joking and laughing, while the other boys spar and play around. This is how it's supposed to be. Happy, safe. A family. _

Felix and I don't say a word after this. I just lean on his shoulder, and close my eyes, allowing myself to rest, even if it is only for a couple of hours. For his part, Felix doesn't move, but just sits still, letting me rest on him.

We don't have to say anything. We already know what the other said. We made amends. And, in spite of Pan's attempts to isolate me and make me fear him, I have my brother back. And right now, Pan can keep Neverland for all I care, if it means that my brothers are safe.

"Vin?"

I open my eyes after what feels like only a couple of minutes, to see Henry standing in front of me and Felix, looking at me expectantly.

_Oh gods, Henry! I promised I would tell him… oh, hell. _

"Hey, Henry," I say, sleepily, rubbing my eyes.

I'm stalling for time, as I try to figure out what to do. I promised the kid I would tell him the truth, and if I don't tell him, we lose him. He won't trust me, or anything that Pan or I say ever again. I could lie to him, but I have no idea what I would say to him that wouldn't hurt him.

But if I tell him the truth… how the hell am I supposed to do that in front of Felix and the others?

_No, _I tell myself. _I took down the Evil Queen and the Dark One without that much of a fight. I can figure this out. _

Henry is still looking at me expectantly, but he has enough sense not to press me. He gets that what I promised him was rash, and that if he says it in front of Felix he will never get his answers. But even Felix sees that there's something going on. I can see his eyes go from me to Henry with concern.

"Do you need something, Henry?" he asks, sounding a little confused.

Henry's face looks blank for a second, and I can tell the kid's stuck. He doesn't have a good excuse, and he needs to get one fast.

_Hell, we both need a good excuse if the kid wants the truth. If I can even tell him the truth. _

"I promised to show him my treehouse," I blurt out.

Both Felix and Henry look at me in surprise, but Henry quickly covers it with a nod.

"I promised him earlier," I explain to Felix. "But then something came up, and-"

As soon as I say the lie, I feel my heart sink.

I just got his trust back. I only got his trust back minutes ago, and I'm lying to him. I'm pretending that nothing is wrong, that I'm not about to reveal our secret to Henry. I'm betraying my brother, and he has just begun to trust me again.

_Damn it, I'm going to turn on them! I shouldn't be doing this… why the hell am I doing this? I do this and I could lose my brothers' only chance of survival._

But I promised Bae, didn't I? That I would tell Henry everything. I didn't tell the kid at first because I didn't want Pan separating us. If he did, I wouldn't be able to watch over him. But now…

_According to the Shadow, I'm much more powerful than Pan. Maybe...just maybe… I can keep both of my promises to Bae. _

Felix looks surprised, probably because I never show the boys my treehouse. It's my place, my private little corner of Neverland that I can go to when I need space. It's special to me, and the other boys know not to bother me when I go.

Felix just shrugs, though.

"Okay, then," he says. "Just don't be gone too long. Don't want Pan to worry when he gets back."

_Yes,_ I think. _We wouldn't want Pan to learn that I'm spilling these secrets, because I made both Henry and Bae a promise I shouldn't be able to keep. _

Gods, am I really doing this?

"Sure," I reply, casually, standing up and stretching. "Come on, Henry."  
I lead Henry away, not saying a word.

I suppose now, the next step is take him to the treehouse. I think he'll like it, and I know we won't be overheard there. It might be the one place that we can talk, where I know Pan won't be watching. Unlike he was when Hook called me… no, I can't think of that, right now.

But what am I supposed to say?

"_Hey, Henry, my brothers are dying because the sand in a magic hourglass is running low, but if you let Pan kill you and take your heart, we'll be good to go."_

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

But how do I tell a boy that about thirty boys are dying, and that the only thing that can save them is his heart? How do I tell this kid, _this child_, that there are lives depending on him, and he has to die to save them? Or that his father is here, alive and well, as far as I know?

I lead Henry to a tree, and tell him to climb up. He gives me a funny look, but does as I say. I quickly follow, my mind still trying to figure this out.

As soon as we're both up in the tree, he turns to me expectantly.

"What's going on, Vin?" he asks, eagerly. "You said that-"

"Not here," I hiss, cutting him off. "Not yet."

I can see the confusion in Henry's eyes, but he doesn't say anything.

_Good, that means I've bought myself more time._

"Follow me," I say, leading him to the platform connected to my zipline.

Henry sees it, and his eyes light up as he puts the pieces together.

"That's how you get around?" he asks, all memory of my promise forgotten. "You use ziplines."

I can't help but smile at this, as I imagine a second handhold for Henry.

"Yeah," I reply. "I have them set up all over the island. I'm the only one who knows which one goes where, so the boys don't really use them."

"Cool!" Henry exclaims, making his way to the platform.

He climbs on, and grabs the first handhold, grinning. I imagine a harness around him, just in case, but I can't stop the smile that's making it's way onto my face.

He's still a kid. He may have the Heart of the Truest Believer, he may be my brothers' only chance. But he's still a child, who likes to have fun. Likes to do something neat, like ride ziplines throughout Neverland. He's not so different from my brothers. He's still a kid, carefree and full of life.

And we're going to snuff that life out if I want my brothers to make it. I am going to have to kill this boy, Bae's son, for my brothers'. This innocent boy, who doesn't know how much we're relying on him, how we're asking too much of him.

"Whoa, slow down," I warn him, playfully, as I grab the other hand hold. "I think you might want to let me lead, unless you want to end up on the other side of the island."

Henry nods, but i see something spark in his eyes. An idea, growing behind the fun he's having.

"Vin," he suddenly whispers. "Do you think that you can… you can use these to take me to my family?"

His question is like a punch to the gut. I should have seen it coming. He knows his family is here, and I just showed him a way around the island.

I know he wants to see his family again. That he needs to be sure they are alright, and they need to be sure he's safe. But that can't happen. I'm already toeing the line by telling him what's going on. I cannot cross the line by giving him back to his family.

I shake my head, and I can see his shoulders sag ever so slightly, and disappointment well up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Henry," I say, for once absolutely meaning it. "I can't do that. If Pan finds out that I let you go, and brought you back to your family… well, let's just say it won't end well for anyone. Your family, you, me…"

Henry nods in understanding, but the fun he was having earlier is gone.

Part of me wants to apologize more, but I shove the feeling aside. I can't afford that, not right now. Guilt will not help me figure this out.

"Come on," I say, before going down the zipline, with Henry quickly following.

Usually I savor these moments on my ziplines. It's the feeling of flying, of freedom. Tje feeling of being untouchable. But not this time. This time… it's empty.

Because of Henry. I know he's hurting. He's confused, he doesn't know what we need him for. He's scared, he wants to see his family.

_Hell, he's terrified for his family_, I realize, as I lead him down another zipline. _I can see it in his face. He knows they are on Neverland, but he doesn't know where they are, or what Pan plans to do with them. He knows he's safe for now, because we need him. He has no idea what Pan has in store for his family. _

But what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to put this burden on this boy? How can I tell him that...gods...what am I doing?

Henry doesn't say a word throughout our entire trip, and I can't bring myself to try to try to start a conversation. What could I say? He's still glum when we reach my tree house, but that soon changes the second he steps in.

"Whoa!" he exclaims looking around in wonder.

I can't resist a smile as he runs to the crystalline railing, gaping at the surroundings. I haven't shown this place to anyone, because it was always my private place. My own little corner of Neverland to have to myself. But showing it to Henry, seeing him admire it. Seeing him genuinely smile at something, it feels good.

"You have a waterfall?" he asks, as if he can't believe it.

"Yep," I reply, with a small laugh as he looks from me to the waterfall, then back to me in astonishment.

"How did you get a _waterfall _in a _treehouse?_" he asks.

I shrug casually, as if it doesn't matter. And, it really doesn't. I dreamt up a cuff that prevents magic, I dreamt up my mind box, which now hides the Dark One's dagger. Hell, hours ago, I dreamt up a flame wolf.

_Waterfall in a treehouse? Meh. _

"Just thought it would be neat," I reply, as I join him at the railing. "So I dreamt it up."

Henry looks at me in awe. He shouldn't look at me like that. I may be powerful, especially if the Shadow was right. But Henry shouldn't be awed by me. Chances are, he's more powerful than me, being the Truest Believer. He has a pure heart, and a good soul. He shouldn't look up to me. Not when I'm the one who is going to help kill him.

"Could I do that?" Henry asks, and I feel my heart sink. "Once I get the hang of the magic here?"

_Yes, he could. Hell, he could probably do that now. _

I nod, forcing the smile to stay on my face. He looks like Christmas came early, and runs to the window, staring out at Neverland.

But… he's never going to get that chance. He's never going to learn magic on Neverland, or learn how to build a waterfall. He's never going to be able to go on the ziplines on his own, or really learn how to use a sword. We're going to take that chance away from him.

_We are… I am… going to kill him. _

"Did you draw these?" Henry asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

I look up to see he has moved to the walls of my tree, that I had covered in pictures. Pictures of the Jolly Roger on the high seas, of the mermaids swimming free. The one that Henry is looking at, of Bae and Abby running through a field, free and happy.

_Oh gods. _

"No," I reply nonchalantly. "I'm terrible at drawing. I just imagined those."

Henry nods, before going back to admiring the drawings. Once he's looking away, I let the facade slip, as I stare at him. He's staring at the drawings, the waterfall in wonder. He's still a boy. Still just a child. He might be the key to saving my brothers, but he's still just a kid.

_Gods, what am I doing? _

"Who are they?"

Henry's question catches me off guard, as he points to the drawing of Bae and Abby. They're figures are too far away in the picture to tell who they are. I only know because I was the one who made the picture.

"That," I remark, forcing my voice to sound cheerful. "Is your father."

Henry's eyes are as wide as moons, as he turns to me.

"You knew my dad?" he gasps.

_That's right. He thinks his father is dead. If there were ever a time to tell him, to fulfill my promise to Bae. _

"Yeah," I answer, smiling at the figure. "He and I were really close, when he was on Neverland. There was a time when… when I would have done anything for him."

_And what changed?_ I wonder. _I told him I would look after his son, and now I'm going to kill him. For my brothers. To save my brothers. _

But Bae is my brother too. Shouldn't that mean something? Anything?

Henry's expression changes, and I meet his eyes. I can tell he sees something, but I don't know what.

_Can he tell that I'm still lying? That I know his father is alive, but I won't tell him? Gods, why can't I tell him?_

"Did you love him?" Henry whispers.

_What?_

I blink, and my expression falls into complete shock.

_That's what the kid thought? That I was in love with Bae? Just because we lived in a cave together doesn't mean we were lovers. He looked like he was fourteen years old! _

"No, no!" I exclaim quickly, before the kid thinks I'm pining after his father. "No, not like that! He was a close friend. More than a friend, he was like a brother to me."

Henry is still looking at me, and I sigh. I suppose I owe the kid the story. I still don't know if I can tell him about Bae yet. I barely kept him from finding his family. If he knew that his father is alive and on Neverland, I might not be able to keep him from trying to find him. Trying, being the key word. And if Pan stops him, or if he succeeds in finding Bae, then everything falls apart. We are so close to saving my brothers, and I won't throw their only chance away.

"I wasn't always a Lost Girl," I explain. "Once upon a time, I hated the Lost Boys. I thought they were savage, that they hated me. And Pan was the worst. But your dad, Baelfire… he found me. He gave me shelter from looked after each other, until he left. For ages, he was the most important person in my life."

Henry looks surprised at this, and I can see that more questions are coming. Bae used to have that expression, when new questions started forming.

The thought both warms my heart and makes it sink at the same time.

_How can I do this? How can I do this to a poor kid? To Bae's child, whom I promised I would look after? _

"You didn't go with him?" Henry asks.

Well, that answer should be fairly obvious, considering I'm still here. But I won't explain the details to him. Not yet. The boy already has so much on his plate as it is. I don't want to add on with a story of why I can't leave Neverland without dying. Seeing how it would only turn him against Pan, it wouldn't be a good idea anyway.

I shake my head, forcing a smile on my face.

"It was hard," I tell him. "But I found a place here. A family. I couldn't leave them behind."

_There. Now I have lied to his face. Getting Bae out was one of the hardest things I had to go through, but I wished more than anything that I could have gone with him that night. Now, I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't have opened my heart to my brothers, I wouldn't have let myself be their sister if I had left. But none of that happened until Bae was already free._

Henry looks back to the drawing of his father, and I can tell his mind is reeling with this new information. I don't know what he will do with it, just pray that he reacts in a way that brings my brothers closer to being safe.

Finally, Henry turns to me, and his eyes are solemn. As if learning that Bae and I were friends instilled this new sense of duty on him.

"What's going on, Vin?" he asks. "What does Pan want from me?"

_Gods, this is it. I knew this was coming but I never thought… oh gods…_

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heartbeat.

"Henry, sit down," I tell him, leading him to my bed.

He plops down, as if there is nothing strange about being led to a girl's bed.

_Gods, he's still innocent. Still so young. And I'm about to change all of that. _

He looks at me expectantly, as I settle down next to him. I open my mouth to speak, but I can't force any sound to come out.

_Gods, how do I do this? How do I tell him what we are doing to him? I can't do this… I… No, I have to. For my brothers. I have to do it for my brothers. _

"The Lost Boys…" I start, before trailing off, the words stuck in my throat like sand. "They're dying, Henry."

The look on Henry's face… it's one of pure surprise, then confusion. He still hasn't put the pieces together.

_Gods, I can't do this to him! I can't put this burden on him! He's just a boy…_

"What?" he gasps, staring at me.

I force myself to look away. Because, gods help me, if I have to look at him any longer, I'm going to break down.

"It's the magic, Henry," I explain. "The magic that keeps Pan young, gives him power. He uses it to keep the other boys alive as well. And… he's running out. And when that happens, my brothers will die."

It actually makes sense, now that the Shadow explained to me how it cut off Pan's magic early on. It cut off any chance my brother's had of surviving, short of Henry. If the Shadow would only allow the magic to flow back through Pan again, maybe this wouldn't be happening. Maybe my brothers would be safe, without the cost of an innocent boy.

"I...I don't understand," Henry murmurs. "If the magic is fading, why aren't you-"

"I'm a Dreamer, Henry," I reply, cutting him off. "Neverland's magic flows through my heart easily. It's enough to keep me alive. But the Lost Boys… my brothers… they don't have that ability. When Pan's time runs out, so does theirs."

Henry shakes his head, his face scrunched with confusion. I can tell it's a lot to take in. I remember when Pan told me what was happening. It took me so long to wrap my head around the idea that I could lose my brothers.

"But…" he whispers, turning to look at me. "What does that have to do with me? Why would Pan bring me here? If he has to use more magic to keep me alive, wouldn't that waste their time?"

Gods, he _is _like Bae. He hears that my brother's are dying, and his first reaction? Ask if being here is harming them. Not himself, them. He's not worried about his own time running out, even though he should be fine with the Heart of the Truest Believer. He's worried about my brothers.

I give him a half-hearted smile, before I shake my head. But it soon fades as I realize what I have to tell him.

_Gods, I can't do this..._

"It's… complicated, Henry," I say, softly. "Pan's magic is running out. That's why he needs a heart. A powerful heart, that can channel Neverland's magic easily. Once that happens, the heart will keep him young, and give him the magic he needs to save my brothers. At first we tried my heart, but it doesn't work, since I'm a Dreamer. We need a different heart. One that will keep Pan and my brother's alive."

I turn to look at Henry, and I meet his eyes. Henry stares at me, realization dawning in his expression.

_Gods, what have I done? I've put an unbearable burden on a child, so I could convince him to let us kill him. I have put him in an impossible situation, taking advantage of the fact that he's good and pure. All by fulfilling a promise to him. In fulfilling my promise to give him answers, I have put him in terrible position. _

It's worse than when I left the younger ones tied in their hammocks, so I could escape to find Abby. It's worse than almost killing Hook when he called me a whore. It's worse than threatening to burn the Evil Queen. I have either damned my brothers, or I have damned Henry. I'm not sure which is worse.

_In less than a day, I have accomplished what Pan has been trying to do for a week. Gods, I was right. I am as bad as Pan. I'm worse than Pan. Even he wouldn't stoop this low to put this type of burden on a boy. _

"Me," Henry whispers. "You need me."

_Oh gods! _

"I'm so sorry, Henry," I mutter quickly, as if it will change anything. "Truly, I am. I wish I could do something-_anything_\- to change it. I didn't want to put this burden on you, but I couldn't lie to you when you asked for answers."

_Gods, I'm acting like a fool, stumbling on my words. Trying to justify what I just did, as if there is anything that could justify what I have done. _

I have done it. I crossed the line I…

"I have to save your brothers?" Henry asks quietly. "That's why you didn't tell me about my family. Because you were scared I would go with them, when you need me to save the Lost Boys."

_Damn it, what have I done? He's right, yes, but that does not make me feel any better. _

"Yes," I reply, looking at Henry.

His expression is confused and scared. And I would expect no less. He knows that he's my brothers' only chance, but knowing that it all comes down to him…

"Gods, Henry, I'm so sorry," I whisper again.

My eyes sting with tears, and I have to clench my hands into fists to keep them from shaking.

Damn it, why am I the one who is breaking down? I just told Henry that there are over a dozen lives relying on his sacrifice, and I'm the one who is about to cry.

_I've cried too many times. The time for tears is over. I need to be strong. For my brothers, for Henry. _

But strength won't take the guilt that's threatening to swallow me whole right now.

Henry takes a deep breath, and I can tell he's trying so hard to remain calm. He glances at my hand, and takes it, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"You're just looking after your family," he says, looking up at me. "And you told me the truth. I… I'm not mad at you, Vin."

This makes me blink. I meet his eyes, and I can see nothing there. No anger, no hate at the person who just put this burden on him.

He isn't angry at me. In his eyes, I'm just looking after my family. But he doesn't realize the truth. He doesn't realize that I've been playing him, trying to manipulate him to give up his heart for my brothers. As far as he knows, I've only been doing what his family would do.

"You should be," I murmur, unable to look at him. "I've-"

"You're trying to protect your brothers," Henry interrupts. "My dad… he would do the same for my mom and I."

_Gods, he had to bring up Bae! Doesn't he get it? If I truly love Bae, I'll let his son go. But I can't. I can't do anything, not while my brothers are in danger. I once sacrificed everything for his father, now I can't bring myself to save Bae's son. _

My breath catches in my throat, and I have to choke back a sob.

"It's not that simple, Henry," I whisper.

Henry looks down, and I can see all sorts of emotions mixing in his expression. Fear, worry, confusion. And he was anyone else, anyone but the Heart of the Truest Believer, I would hold him and help him until he was ready to move.

_But I can't do that. I can't be close to this boy, because I'm going to kill him. I'm going to take his life, to save my brothers. _

"I know," Henry mutters, and I can tell he's struggling to stay calm as well. "I just… I need to think."

This doesn't surprise me. Anyone would need to do the same, after what I have just told him. I needed it too, when I learned the truth. I have just told him that my entire family's hopes are riding on him. That burden that I have placed on him… it's going to take him more than a minute to figure out his next step.

But it's all in the wind now. Whatever he does, whether in my family's favor or his own, is up to him. I may have thrown away my brothers' only chance, and there is nothing I can do about it.

"I understand," I reply, slowly, for once being totally honest. "Take your time. Do you want me to stay?"

Henry looks down for a moment, before shaking his head.

Again, I'm not surprised. I just put an unbearable burden on this boy. I don't blame him for not wanting to be around me anymore.

_Hell,_ I think as I stand up, before squeezing his hand one last time. _I need to think to. Where do I go from here? I can't push him, but I can't tell Pan what I've done. Do I wait, do I figure out some way to turn this in my brothers' favor? I don't know anymore. _

"I'll be at the bottom of the staircase, if you need me," I tell him, forcing myself to take a step away.

I want so badly to stay with him, help him through this. Not for my brothers, but for him. To help him come to grips with the burden I just put on him. But I can't do that. This is his burden now, he has to come to terms with it by himself.

"Wait!" he says, suddenly, causing me to stop and turn.

For a second I think he's going to tell me something I need to hear. That my brothers' will be safe, that he doesn't have to give up his heart for them. Something, anything that will change this. Instead, I feel a rush of magic in my sixth sense, and he has a look of deep concentration.

_Magic. He's using it again. He's getting better, and it hasn't even been a day since Pan taught him how to use it. _

His hands are open, but empty, but as I feel the magic flow around us, I see a large, leather bound book suddenly appear in his hands.

I can't help but feel surprised. I wasn't expecting a book of all things. But then again, wasn't that one of the first things I imagined when Pan taught me to use magic? A book that Abby and I shared? When I see Henry, sometimes I see Bae, sometimes I see myself, before I drank the water. Does it really surprise me that we both shoot arrows to try to hurt Pan, or that we imagine books?

_Maybe Pan was right. We're more alike than we thought. _

Henry looks down at the book with a fond smile, and the look tells me everything I need to know. This book that he imagined, it's special to him. I don't know in what way, but just as _The Silver Chair_ meant something to me, this book-whatever it is- means something to him.

"Here," he says, peeling his eyes away from the book, and holding it out to me.

My mouth opens in surprise, and for a second I can only give him a blank look. I never thought he would imagine a book, much less give it to me. I didn't go handing out books to the Lost Boys when I started doing it. Yet here's Henry, imagining a book for me to read.

_Why? I just told him that lives are at stake. Why would he think a book would be useful now? _

"What's this?" I ask, stepping forward, and accepting the book.

_Well, obviously, it's a book, _I think. _Stupid question, Vin_.

"It's something I read when I needed help," Henry explains, almost solemnly.

But I recognize that tone. It's the same one he used when he was encouraging the Lost Boy, that was Pan in disguise, to have hope. It's the same one he has whenever he talks about his family.

"It gave me hope, when I needed it," he goes on, unaware of my confusion. "I thought you could use it."

I can't help but smile at this, even though his words freeze my heart.

_Here I am, putting this massive burden on him, and he's making a book for me. So that I won't be confused anymore. Even after all I've done to him, he's still trying to help me of all people. _

I have to tear my eyes away from Henry, so that he doesn't see the pain that's building inside me. Instead, I look down at the book he has just given me. It seems normal, except with no author's name. Just the title, in medieval script: _Once Upon A Time_. No publisher name, no author. Just a small caption at the bottom of the cover: _Illustrated by A. Lancaster_.

_Lancaster… that was my last name, a long, long time ago. That's quite the coincidence. _

"I… thank you, Henry," I reply, unsure of what to say to this act of generosity.

Henry nods, smiling, but that quickly fades. He's no doubt thinking about what I just told him, of how my brothers need him. The light inside him, the innocence that I love seeing when he looks at me… it's gone, buried underneath what I just told him.

Gods, I took something that _adults_ couldn't handle, and I placed it on a child.

I feel my mouth open, and I want to say anything, anything that could change this. That would make the burden I have put on his shoulders easier to bear. But I can't. I have placed the burden on him, and I can't take it back, no matter how badly I want to. No matter how badly I feel.

I force myself to turn around, and go down the stairs that circle the waterfall without looking at him. It hurts like hell, but I can't do it. Everything that happens now is Henry's choice, and nothing I do will be able to change it. Everything that happens now is up to him, not me.

Part of me wonders if that is how it should have been all along, rather than trying to manipulate the poor boy.

_So what? _Another part wonders. _So he could just run the first chance he got? No, this way was better. Now he has warmed up to us. Now he wants to save us. Deep down, even though he's only been with us a couple of days, he cares about us. Now he will want to save my brothers. _

But if that's why I told him, then I'm just as despicable as the Evil Queen thought. I'm closer to the monster who almost burned her than the good person Bae saw. Because if that's true, then I manipulated him more than Pan ever did, and I did it in one of the cruelest, underhanded ways.

I sigh, as I sit down on the stairs at the bottom of my tree. Even from down here, I can sense the good, powerful magic in Henry. And in a few days, we're going to snuff it out.

_What am I doing? It started out as so simple. Get the Heart of the Truest Believer to Neverland, get the heart. _

But then everything changed. Hook, Bae, the Shadow… the fact that Henry is just a child.

_I chose a side, and I chose my brothers. But that doesn't change how wrong this all feels. _

I sigh again, still trying to wrap my head around this looking at the book in hands. By the title, it sounds like a fairy tale book, but I can't imagine how a bunch of fairy tales are supposed to help. Especially when Henry and I both know what really happened to a lot of the characters, like Snow White and Red Riding Hood.

_Oh well,_ I think absently. _It might take my mind off of this mess. _

I shake my head, and open the book to the first page.

One page is covered with writing, while the other is a picture of a young woman hiding in a tree. Wait… I know her.

I lean down, to get a better look at the picture. The art is uncanny. It's definitely Snow White when she was hiding in a hollow tree. Just as I remember from my dreams, years ago. It was how I got the idea for my treehouse.

_What on earth? _

I turn to the page with the actual story.

"_The thief cried out in terror as a net suddenly came up from under her, entrapping her. _

_Had Regina finally caught her? Had all her work to run away been for nothing? She didn't want to die, not now!_

_There was a small triumphant laugh, and someone emerged from behind the trees. Not Regina, but the prince she had robbed._

'_I told you I would find you,' he said, looking pleased with-_"

_Wait a damn minute! I know this story. Not just because I saw it in my dreams, but because I wrote it! _

I remember, even though it was ages ago. These lines, these exact lines, were what I was writing the night that Pan took Abby. The night he took me. They were the last lines I had written down, the last moment of my normal life before Pan came into it.

_So how the hell am I reading those exact lines on the page now? _

I gasp, clutching the book tightly, as if staring at it will give me answers.

I wrote this story. _I_ wrote it. I know there were other Dreamers, and maybe they wrote it down, but there is now way that they could steal my exact words. So how am I reading the words I wrote down over twenty years ago, on this page now? How did Henry find this book, that has something I wrote in it?

In a flash, everything that has just happened between me and Henry is forgotten, as I frantically flip through the pages, scanning them for answers. But I don't find any. All I find are some well done drawings, some of what I wrote down before I was taken, and what I didn't get a chance to write down finished with a slightly different style than what I wrote years ago.

With a frustrated groan, I go back to the beginning, trying to carefully read over each page, as if there is some hidden meaning in the words. But it only takes me a few pages to realize it's nothing more than the story of what I saw every night in my dreams. Some of it was what I wrote years and years ago, some of it is someone else's writing.

_How… what… what is this?_

In my desperation for answers, I flip to the end, hoping to find some sort of author's note that will hold something. Some sort of reason as to why my words are in this book.

_How did they even get a hold of what I wrote? It was just in an old notebook, that I left on the table when I heard Abby scream. How did they even find it? _

There are no author's notes in the back, not even a publisher's note. Just a couple of empty pages, a note about the illustrator, a couple more empty pages, then the cover… wait…

I quickly flip back to the _About The Illustrator _part, my heart pounding so loud I'm surprised that Henry hasn't come down to ask me what's wrong.

At first glance, it looks like every other note about illustrators.

"_A. Lancaster was born in 1976, in the city of-" _

Wait… 1976… that year. I know that year, it was the year that…

_That Abby was born. _

A. Lancaster, born 1976. Someone who would have been able to take my old notebook, realize it was more than some old story, and put it in a book. Someone who shares my last name. And what Bae said, when he showed me the picture:

"_She also likes to draw. And she's getting really good at it too…"_

Gods, I'm an idiot. I blind, foolish, stupid idiot!

Abby is A. Lancaster.

I nearly drop the book in shock. This is something my sister worked on. Something my sister made. Something that she worked on, that somehow ended up in my hands. Somehow, after all of these years apart, I am holding her work in my hands.

I gasp, trying to wrap my head around it as I stare down at the page about her life. Yet the longer I stare, the more the words seem different. As if they are changing, twisting into words that weren't there before.

_What? _

I blink. I might be seeing things, in the excitement, in the dim light. But I open my eyes again, and no. The words are still there, plain as day. Except they aren't a biography about the Illustrator anymore. They are written in a neat penmanship, as if someone copied down the handwriting as well as the words.

I stare, trying to make sense of this, when I read the first line.

"_**Dearest Jess,**_"

Again, I nearly drop the book.

Somehow, somehow, the words changed. They changed from her biography to something completely different. Somehow… they changed into her words. Her letters, her words.

_To me. She's writing to me! _

Somehow, she used magic to disguise her words. Somehow… she knew I would find this. Somehow, she knew it would fall into my hands, and she disguised her words for me, for me to read.

My heart is pounding against my chest, and I'm almost scared to read the next words.

"_**Even as I write, my hand is shaking. I always thought if I were to have one last word to send you, I would try to be strong. But as soon as my pen touched the paper, I knew that wasn't going to happen. God, I supposedly have grown older and wiser over the years, but I still feel like a child as I write this. **_

_**I don't know how long it will be when you read this letter. I was promised it would reach you eventually, but I don't know when or where. For me, it has been ten years since I was separated from you. But you should know that I received your message. Baelfire is safe, and I'm taking care of him. I'm helping him put together a fake ID, so that he can live out in our world. He's chosen the name 'Neal Cassidy,' after Mom's maiden name. He says you chose the name Neal. He's a sweet boy, and I know he's going to do alright." **_

I'm gasping, trying so hard to wrap my head around this. Somehow, after all these years, she was able to get me this message. She knew I would read this. But this was… years ago. Just after Bae found her. That was… gods, that was before Henry was born. How could she possibly know that I would read this?

I shove the thoughts aside, as I continue to read. The once blank pages at the end of the book are now filled with her handwriting, as if they were put there just for this message, and this message alone.

"_**I don't want to say anything I believe will happen, lest I give you false hope, and you come back to find nothing but disappointment. After all you went through for me, after everything Bae tells me you have done, disappointment is the last thing you need. I know that might sound silly, or shameful, but this might be the last you ever hear from me. And as much as I wish I could just lie and say that my life is nothing but rainbows and flowers, I don't want my last message to you to be a lie. **_

_**I will tell you that Mom and I are safe and well. I'm doing well in school, and I'm taking courses to attend Duke after I graduate. I'm seventeen now, Jess. Can you believe that? If you were to come back right now, people would probably mistake us for twins. Wouldn't that be something? **_

_**Mom is doing well. She and I have been spending a lot of time together. She misses you terribly. She doesn't know what happened, not really. I understand, it's hard to believe your daughter was abducted by Peter Pan himself. But even though it's been ten years, her love for you has only grown. And if she knew half the things you have done, according to Bae, she would be so proud of you. Just as I am." **_

I can't help but smile at this. Mom is doing well. Or at least, she was when Abby wrote this letter.

Even after all these years, I never thought that much about Mom. I had hoped she was doing well, that she was taking care of Abby. And to read this on the page, to read my sister's handwriting, telling me that they are alright…

Gods, I think my heart is going to burst.

"_**I don't know what else I can say, lest this letter reach you years later and everything has changed. But I want you to know that we are safe and happy except that we miss you. But we keep our faith. We keep our belief in you. We refuse to give up the hope that Pan will hold onto you forever. We know you will come back to us some day, and we will wait patiently for that day. **_

_**I don't know what you're going through right now. I can only imagine you are taking down Pan, like the badass you are. Because I know my sister: she is the strongest woman in the world. She won't let a shit like Pan drag her down, and she will always, always find a way to come out on top." **_

I have to laugh at this. Bae said she believed in me, but I never thought… I never thought she saw me like that. As someone who was strong. Who could easily defeat Pan. Even after all those years, even after I never came home, even after Bae told her I can't leave Neverland without dying, she still believes in me.

I have to turn to the next page, as her letter goes on. I do so slowly, savoring each and every word that my sister wrote.

"_**But what I do know is this: the man who has sworn to me that you will receive this letter has told me that you will make a decision that is going to save many lives. If I'm to believe that he is going to get this letter to you, then I must believe him entirely. Because there is no way that I can believe that he will get this letter to you, and lie about everything else. And this letter, this last note to you, might be my only chance to say what I have to tell you. I have to believe you will see it, Jess, and that you will understand it is your sister, your Abby, writing to you." **_

Well, that explains some of it at least. How Abby was able to get this letter to me, how she was able to know that I would receive this letter years later. She knew someone. Someone who knew I would find it eventually. I don't know who this person is, but I'm just thanking the gods that he wasn't lying to my sister.

"_**I won't pretend to know what you are going through, or that I have any idea of what you have gone through. So I will offer the only shred of advice that I can give you: for your own good, trust your instincts, and your heart. **_

_**When I was tied to that tree years ago, and Pan offered you that choice of trading your life for mine, I wished to God to get out of there. But more than anything, I wanted you to say no. I wanted you to be free. But you didn't. And for years, I have torn myself apart with the guilt. But after years of reliving that nightmare over, and over again, I see why you made that choice. **_

_**You did it because you cared about me. Because you loved me. And because you wanted me safe. And if you refused, if you left me to die there, you never would have been able to live with yourself. You made that choice for the both of us. So that we could both be free. **_

_**Bae told me of how you saved him. And I know that you made the same decision that day. You couldn't let him die, because you love him. And if you let him die, you would never be free of the pain. So you saved him, for the both of you. **__**And none of these choices were planned ahead, or thought out. You saw the best chance, and did what your heart told you.**_

_**Jess, I beg you, make the same choice again. Whatever hardship you are going through, whatever decision you are facing, do what your heart tells you. Don't follow your logic, or what others say to you. Don't make a decision that will burden you all your life. The moment you do this, Pan will win. He will have truly broken you, because that burden will crush you. Don't make a choice that you will regret for the rest of your life. Don't tell yourself that it's worth the pain; that is just another lie from Pan. Make the decision that will free you. Make the choice that will save those you love, but will free you as well. **_

_**It was your heart that guided you on this journey, and only by following it will you be able to finish it. **_

_**And know that whatever choice you make, whatever you decide, I will always, always love you. No matter how worthless Pan tries to make you feel, no matter how much he tries to convince you that you are alone, it isn't true. Because I love you. You are my hero. My guardian angel, my protector. My big sister. And I love you more than any word this pen can create. **_

_**No matter what it takes, how long Pan tries to keep us apart, I know we will see each other again. Because you are my sister. Never forget that, Jess. I will always be waiting, and I will always, always love you. My brave, beautiful, strong, sweet sister. **_

_**Your little sister, **_

_**Abby"**_

…

It's as if time has stopped, leaving me breathless.

Tears are trickling down, but I make no move to wipe them away. I can't move, I can't breathe. I can only stare.

Stare at the page, at my sister's words.

She believes in me. Even after all these years, she had faith that I would find this note. That I would be able to read her words, and I would know that they were from her. Even after Bae telling her that I can't come back, she believes in me.

_My sister, my Abby, believes in me. _

My fingers run across the page, tracing her words. She had written this years ago, and yet she somehow held onto the belief that I would read it. She believed it so much, that she took the opportunity to tell me two important things. To give me advice, and to tell me that she loves me. That even after all this time, even though I was never able to fulfill my promise to get back to her, even though I could never be with her throughout the rest of her childhood, she loves me. My Abby loves me.

"Oh Abby," I whisper, suddenly hugging the book to my chest, as if she will feel it wherever she is.

She still believes in me. Even after all this time… she still believes in me.

I find myself standing, as I re-read the letter over and over again.

_She helped Bae start over. He must have stayed in contact with her, across the years. Mom is doing fine. She loves me_.

But my eyes are always drawn to her words about making a choice. I have no idea how she knows but… I am making a difficult choice. Hell, I've already made it. I hate it, but I've made it.

I chose my brothers. That is who I will always choose in the end. I have to choose them.

Yet I can't help going over those lines again and again.

"_**Make the decision that will free you. Make the choice that will save those you love, but will free you as well."**_

I sigh, as I go over the pages again.

_Her advice… it's… gods, I want so badly to believe that it would be possible. That I could make a choice that didn't end with death. That I could choose what my heart is telling me. But that's the problem: I don't have a choice. It's Henry or my brothers. And I can't… I won't lose my brothers. _

I find myself climbing up the stairs, still reading her words.

"_**A choice that will save many lives…"**_

My brothers. There's no denying that. I have to save my brothers. I have to, and I will do whatever it takes.

_But, what she said about doing what my heart is telling me… Gods, what has my heart been telling me? _

I reach the top of the stairs, and I see Henry laying down on my bed, fast asleep. In the moonlight shining through my window, he looks so peaceful, so innocent. As if he doesn't know about the burden I placed on him, knowing that my brothers need him to sacrifice himself for them.

He looks like one of my brothers. One of the younger ones, when they are asleep. He looks like a Lost Boy.

I give a small smile, and clutch the book, and Abby's letter, under my arm, and move over to him. Careful not to wake him, I slowly take off his shoes, and cover him with my blankets.

He stirs slightly, but doesn't wake up. He looks so sweet, I don't want to wake him up just now. He should get some sleep. Gods know how difficult the last few days have been for him.

I sigh, and gently put the book down, as if not to disturb Abby's words somehow.

"_**Do what your heart tells you…"**_

I wish it was that easy. That I could just know what I want, and do it. But it's not that simple. Not with lives hanging in the balance. Not with my brothers' lives hanging in the balance.

And yet…

Henry is a child. An innocent child. How can I… how can I let him die?

_Because I have no other choice,_ I tell myself. _Because it's him or my brothers. And as horrible choice as it is, it's one that I have to make. Lives of many against one life. My family against Henry. _

Absently I reach out, and gently stroke Henry's hair, lost in thought.

But he's Bae's son. And not only that, he's alive because I got Bae out. Because I helped him escape Neverland. Because I saved my brother. If that never happened, Henry would never have been born.

In a way, Henry is alive because of me.

_So what does that make me? Responsible for him in some way? _

I don't know. I am already responsible for all my brothers, but… this is different. It's…

I didn't rescue Bae so I could kill his son.

_But I had no way of knowing,_ part of me argues. _No way of knowing it was going to be his son. That it was a kid. That isn't my fault. _

Maybe it's not. Maybe I am responsible for Henry being born. But that won't change what is happening now. That Henry has to die in order for my brothers to live. Just because I'm the reason Henry was born, it doesn't make him one of my brothers.

_But didn't he shoot the arrow? _I ask myself. _Didn't he dance when he heard Pan's pipes? Haven't we, from the beginning, been calling him a Lost Boy? _

_No,_ I think, shaking my head. _No, that's different. We had to get him on our side. We had to say what we had to, to make him believe he was one of us. We didn't mean it. _

"But does that make it any less true?" I whisper, my voice muffled by the waterfall pouring down.

_I don't know. Damn it, I don't know! _

I pick the book back up, looking at Abby's note again.

"_**Do what your heart tells you…"**_

It's good advice. I just can't do it. I just can't-

I stop, as I realize what I'm saying.

I'm denying I can do what I want to do so badly. I'm denying that I can do what my heart is telling me to do.

And right now, my heart is telling me one very, very clear thing:

_Don't kill Henry. _

I close my eyes, and exhale. I should have seen it coming. I've always known, deep down, that it's what I've wanted from the start.

Even before I chose my brothers, before I knew he was Bae's son, I've wanted this kid to live. I've wanted to spare him, the moment I saw him on the beach with Greg and Tamara.

_Why?_ I think, standing up, and going to the stair railing. I clutch it, putting my full weight on it, trying to figure this out.

Why have I wanted to save this boy? I knew, from the beginning, that we would have to take a life. I knew this the minute I agreed to help Pan find the Heart of the Truest Believer. I knew that it would end with someone's death. The fact that it's a child shouldn't have made a difference.

_But did it? Did it really? _

Part of me wonders if it had been someone else. Some random adult, who was pulled from their everyday life. Would I be acting like this now? Would I want to find some way to save them, so they didn't have to sacrifice themselves for my brothers?

I sigh, leaning against the railing.

_I have to save my brothers. I know that. I want to save them, with all my heart. And yet my heart is also telling me that I can't kill this little boy. _

I close my eyes, Abby's words repeating themselves in my head over and over.

"_**Make the decision that will free you. Make the choice that will save those you love, but will free you as well. **_

_**It was your heart that guided you on this journey, and only by following it will you be able to finish it."**_

So what is my heart telling me? To save my brothers, but save Henry as well.

_But it's impossible. There is no way that I can save both! I have to choose. I have to…_

"No, I won't!"

I don't realize that I said the words out loud until I see Henry stir out of the corner of my eye. He doesn't wake up though.

I shake my head, pulled back in my thoughts.

What do I mean 'I won't?' There is no will or won't. I have to choose, and I chose my brother ages ago. I can't go back on that decision, not now. Not when they are relying on me.

_But if I do this, _I realize. _If I do this, then there is no going back._

I see that now. I don't know if it was seeing what I did to Henry's family, to the Evil Queen, or Abby's letter. But I see it.

I kill Henry, and I pass the point of no return. I cross a line, with no hope of coming back.

I kill Henry, and there will be no chance of redemption. I kill Henry, and I will never be able to live with myself for all eternity.  
_Even if it saves my brothers, I kill Henry, and I lose my soul._

And whatever choice I made years ago, when I embraced myself as both Jess and Vin, is just dust. There will be nothing left of either one. Of me.

I kill Henry, and I am a shell. I kill Henry, and the person I am dies with him.

"_**Make the decision that will free you. Make the choice that will save those you love, but will free you as well."**_

_Gods, I understand now. I understand what Abby was trying to tell me_.

If I save more lives, even if they are my brothers, my family, but lose my soul in the process, then it isn't worth it. I do this, I take an innocent life, I help Pan take an innocent life, and I lose myself.

I let Pan take the one thing I swore he never could have.

He kills Henry, and I lose myself to him. Even if it wasn't Pan, if I let Henry die, I will lose myself. And I cannot let that happen. I will not let that happen.

I do this, and I lose my will. I lose my soul.

_And I don't care about the cost. I will not lose my soul, by taking an innocent life! _

It doesn't matter that Henry is Bae's son. Even if he wasn't, I would still come to the same conclusion. This isn't for Bae anyway. It isn't because I want to save his son. It isn't for Abby, because I don't want to let her down. They are part of it, in their own way, but this is about me. This is my choice.

_And I won't do this. _

I sit down next to Henry, as he sleeps on, with no idea of what's going through my head.

Once, long ago, I made a decision. I knew that if I didn't love the Lost Boys, as well as Abby and Bae, I would not be able to go on. So I embraced myself, as both a Lost Girl and someone from the Land Without Magic. Because I would fade away if I didn't.

_The same thing will happen if I do this. I kill Henry, and I fade away. I will not do this. _

I won't abandon my brothers to die though.

_The Shadow says I'm almost a goddess here? Perfect. _

There has to be other ways. Ways that Pan wanted to avoid, because he feared me overthrowing him.

Maybe I can use my magic to keep my brothers alive. Or maybe I can persuade the Shadow to give Pan more time, so that he and my brothers can still survive. Hell, maybe I can find a way for the magic to preserve each and every one of them, so that they don't have to rely on one person for them to survive.

No matter what it takes, I will find a way. I will find a way to save my brothers, that doesn't end with Henry dying.

I don't care what it takes, what I have to do. If I have to overthrow Pan, or live out the rest of eternity in Dark Hollow with the Shadow, I will do it. I will do whatever it takes to save my brothers, and spare Henry's life.

I look down at the kid. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves to be free. To live his own life. To grow into whomever he wants to be, to change the world in his own way. To love his family, to be a part of his family. But that won't happen. Not unless he has his chance. And that is what I intend to give him. A chance.

_I don't care what Pan says. I don't care what I have to do. I will not let my brothers die, but I will not let Henry die either. _

He's a Lost Boy, after all. That makes him my brother. And I chose my brothers a long time ago. Not Pan, not Hook, but my brothers. That includes Henry. And I intend to save my brothers. All of them.

"I swear, Henry," I whisper to him, even though he can't hear me.

"I'll give my life for you."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for riding the roller coaster of feels. Please remain in your seats until the ride has come to a full and complete stop. **

Okay, I know it's been over a month since I last updated, and that the number of updates since Christmas has been three or four chapters. I'm really, really sorry about that. My life (especially in the last couple months) have been extremely crazy and busy. Between that and the fact that these past chapters have been very hard to write, my updates went from every other week, to... once a month, if that. So, I am very, very sorry about that, and now that things have started to slow down, I will do my best to get on the ball with updating more often. Again, thank you guys for being so patient with me.

Now, there seems to be some confusion with the Shadow's revelation and Vin's power. I know that Rumple and the Shadow compared her to a goddess, so some might have understood that she _is_ an actual goddess. I can assure all of you that she is not. Vin is extremely powerful, and can create things both ordinary and magical while she is in Neverland. If she were outside of Neverland, she would lose those abilities. She can't, however, create really complex life (remember, she had a hard time imagining a butterfly earlier), souls, or anything like that. She isn't all powerful, but she does have a lot of power. That was why the Shadow and Rumple said she was a goddess. They might have been exaggerating a little, but like Hades, Vin is very powerful, but she's far from omnipotent. Please let me know if there is any other confusion, and I'll do my best to explain.

And, Vin has finally made her decision. I know this chapter was a bit like the one where she accepted herself as a Lost Girl, and that a good piece of this chapter was her internal struggle. But she has taken a huge step. With that in mind, I would really, really appreciate feedback for her decision, and the things that led her there. Her telling Henry, Abby's note, her realization that she would cross a line, all of those things. Please tell me what y'all thought.

Thank you **AnotherStripedSweater, firefly.1212, FreyaCabanas, Horsegirl987, Elliebelle4444, Garrawolf, , Riddikuluss, xXFadexFaeXx, AgorasDarkfire, **and**Supergirrl101** for putting this story on alert, and **Vanehernandez22, FreyaCabanas, prettylittlelostgirl, Esthel, XoRoxyXo24, xXFadexFaeXx, QueenNISlay, Garrawolf, , Amina212, **and** AgorasDarkfire** for favoriting it.

Also, a special thank you to **sarah0406, spatterson, LeopardFeather, ColdHeartAngel, Wolf's Dark Rose Angel, The-Living-Shadow, Charmedhpgirl, Lightose8860, katerinamak2015, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, LunaEvanna Longbottom, mercenary2.0, Takara Matsudaira, Female whovian, SilverFury01, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, LisbethMegalomania, Elliebelle4444, chinaluv, Deadly Papegoja, THACA221B, Amina212, **SuperFanNumber1, Neverland Dreamer, Shinonime Sakuya, and all the Guests who left reviews. And last, but certainly not least, thank you to my beta **Uncommon fairy.**

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Again, thoughts on Vin's choice, and the things that led her there are really appreciated, along with thoughts on her making amends with Felix. **:)**


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N: **

Before we get started, I want to thank all of you for your prayers and condolences. It was... incredibly touching. Truly, it meant the world to me and my family, to know that so many people were supporting us. There are really no words that I can use to thank all of you. Your support and comfort in this trying time was one of the things that helped me get through this. Y'all have no idea how grateful I am to have such wonderful and caring readers. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your understanding and patience.

* * *

"Here."

Neal looked up, and took the waterskin from David, quickly gulping down the contents. The water quickly soothed his throat, and he was grateful for it.

For whatever reason, Pan wanted him alive. But that didn't mean he was generous in the amount of food and water he had given Neal. He just given him what he needed to stay alive, and nothing more.

_Still,_ he thought absently. _It's better than being tortured._

Starvation, he could handle. He had faced it all the time when and Jess were in the cave together, and in his first few months in the Land Without Magic. But torture… the last time he was tortured, he had woken up days later, to find Jess gone.

But, with that said, why _had_ Pan kept him alive? Henry didn't know he was alive, unless Jess had told him and-

Oh, God, he hoped Jess was alright.

Last time he saw her, she was being dragged away by Pan and the others. He had been drugged after that, and he didn't remember much of what happened until the drug wore off, and he woke up in the Echo Caves.

He didn't think the Lost Boys would hurt her, not from what he had seen from the way she had talked about them. But Pan… he was a whole other story.

He had always been obsessed with Jess, from the moment he brought her to Neverland. And she had left him to spend time with Neal. If Neal knew Pan, he knew there was no way that Pan would let that go easily.

He assumed if she, or Henry for that matter, were hurt in any major way, Pan would have told him before he was put in the caves. Pan would have wanted to hold it over Neal's head that he was the reason his sister or his son were hurt. He would have wanted to brag, to get under his skin, as he always did.

But he couldn't worry about that now. He could only assume she was safe, and focus on the task at hand. And that was getting Henry back, protecting Emma and her family, getting Jess away from Pan, and getting the hell out of Neverland.

He sighed, trying to get comfortable on makeshift seat on a log. Emma was sitting beside him, looking him over with concern, while Snow sat across from him, the same kind of concern on her face. David and Hook stood up, as if too restless to sit down. Emma and the others had brought him back to their camp after they got him out of the caves, to regroup and hear his plan to get out of Neverland.

Granted, it wasn't much of a plan. Hell, Jess was the one who did all the work to get him out last time he escaped. But it was still a plan, and that was better than nothing.

Besides, he was glad to finally stretch his legs, after being in the cage for a while.

"Thanks," he said, as he handed the waterskin back to David.

"No problem," David replied, taking it back with a nod.

For a moment, the group waited in awkward silence. Neal knew they were waiting for him to give them some brilliant idea, but if he was to be honest, he was still trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last few days.

He had been shot by his ex-fiancee', sent to his home world in the Enchanted Forest, only to go back to Neverland to be reunited with his father, Henry, and Jess. Then he lost all of them when he was recaptured, and had only just been freed after hearing Emma declare she had wished he was dead so she could move on from him.

Not one of his better weeks, to say the least.

"Do you need to rest?" asked Snow, clearly catching the exhaustion he was trying to hide. "We can wait until you've gotten some sleep…"

At this, Neal abruptly shook his head. He wasn't about to let his son spend another second with Pan, just so he could catch up on his sleep. No, he had been through worse, he could take this.

"I'm fine," he said, waving off the suggestion. "The Lost Boys didn't hurt me too badly. I got all the rest I needed in that cage."

Hook cocked an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Not that badly?" he repeated. "I was fairly certain those boys would kills you first chance you got for that stunt you pulled with the Indians. But things may have changed since I left."

Neal bristled at the comment, but didn't say anything. He knew when someone was trying to get a rise out of him, he had seen it enough with Pan. He was pretty sure Hook's remark was innocent enough, even if it brought up some unpleasant memories.

Still, Emma gave him a questioning look, and he knew he would have to say something, as some sort of explanation. The last thing he needed was the group, especially Emma, doubting him.

"That was a long time ago," he muttered, looking at his hands. "And trust me, a lot happened after you left. I think Pan wanted me alive for some reason. If he really wanted to hurt me, he would have done it already."

_Then again,_ he thought, _didn't Pan already hurt me as it is? Didn't I watch my son and sister get dragged away, and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it?_

No, he couldn't think about that. He had to focus on saving Henry.

"Why _did_ Pan keep you alive?" asked Emma, the confusion plain on her face. Whether about what happened with Neal and the Indians, or why Pan kept him alive, Neal didn't know.

Neal shrugged. He had been trying to figure it out when he was in the cage, but he couldn't think anything particularly certain. Pan hated him, that he knew for sure. So why would he keep him alive, especially after he had gotten so close to getting Henry and Jess out.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe because he still thinks I can be useful. Maybe as leverage against my father, or Jess, or all of you."

At the mention of Jess, he could feel something change in the group. He wasn't sure what, but he could see it. The fearful glances that David and Snow shared, the way Emma tensed, and the way Hook looked away guiltily.

Wait… they knew about Jess. That was obvious, even if it had only been for a second. But the way they were acting, as if they were afraid, or guilty.

_Oh God…_

"What?" he asked, his heart plunging, as he turned to look at Emma. "What happened to Jess?"

Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe Pan was willing to hurt her for trying to leave. Or worse, maybe she had tried to fulfill her promises to him, and tried to tell Henry that he was alive, and that was coming for them, and Pan punished her for it.

"Nothing," David said, reassuringly. "She's fine. Not happy with us, but fine."

Neal nodded, allowing himself to breathe. He knew she was alright, but he was just… worried. Pan needed Henry for something. That meant he wouldn't harm Henry, at least for now. Jess was a completely different matter. Pan took pleasure in hurting her, whether physically or mentally. And if Neal ever got his hands on him after he dragged her and Henry away from him…

But she was okay. That was what mattered. She and Henry were okay, and he was going to come for them.

"Wait," he said, suddenly realizing something. "You saw her again?"

David nodded, even though the tension among the others seemed to have increased by a tenfold. Neal would have to be blind and deaf to not see something was wrong.

"And she didn't tell you I was alive?" he asked, his mind racing.

That would have been the smart thing. Hell, that was why he had assumed they had come for him at first, until someone had mentioned that Pan had told them instead. She wouldn't be able to find him, because she was looking after Henry, like she promised. So she should have found them and told them about him. So why didn't she?

"She was worried about something else," Snow murmured, looking away. The expression on her face… Neal hadn't seen it since the day she told him how she saved his father by killing Cora. She looked wracked with guilt.

David nodded in agreement, sending a glare at Hook.

"She probably would have," he added pointedly. "If someone hadn't jumped to _conclusions_ about her."

Neal turned to look at the pirate, confused. He wasn't the only one. Emma and Snow both looked confused, but unlike Neal, they didn't seem surprised about it. As if they had heard the accusation before, but did not know what it was about.

The pirate didn't say anything, though. He didn't deny David's accusation, but he didn't defend himself either. He almost looked… ashamed. Just as he did all those years ago, when Neal realized that he was the pirate who had taken his mother.

But why would Hook be acting like that, especially about Jess? Why would he act ashamed unless… unless he hurt her in some way?

Neal felt his stomach clench, and a cold anger crept through him. Slowly, he got to his feet, fighting to stay reasonable, as he looked at the pirate.

"What did you do?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

Hook didn't meet his eyes. Just as Rumplestiltskin couldn't when he told Neal that Henry would be his undoing.

Hook looked at his feet, and and let out a small noise of frustration. Whether at himself, or at Neal's question, Neal had no idea.

"I was stupid," Hook whispered. "I… I was so stupid."

So he was stupid? What else was new? He still hadn't said what he had done to Jess.

"That isn't an answer," Neal said, feeling his patience slipping away like sand through his fingers.

"I know it isn't!" Hook snapped, looking up and finally meeting his eyes. "Because I am so bloody 'shamed of meself, I can't bring meself to say it! I saw her, alright? I saw what she had become and I… I assumed the worst. I thought that she had been broken. I thought that Pan had finally beaten her. And when I saw her again, I told her that I believed that she and Pan… that she was… that they were… and I called her a… but it just slipped, I didn't mean to..."

It took a moment for Neal to realize what the pirate meant.

Then the pieces fell in place, as he realized what Hook was saying.

Neal saw red, and felt something roar to life inside of him. Any control he vanished in a heartbeat, and he let whatever replaced it loose.

Next thing he knew, Hook was on the ground, a bright red mark on forming on his jaw. Neal himself was standing over him, his fist smarting, shouting at him, while David pressed him back. Snow was on her feet, looking shocked, while Emma had gone to Hook's side to make sure he was alright.

Neal was suddenly aware of how angry he was, and how he much he wanted to strangle Hook right then and there.

"You son of a bitch!" he snarled, fighting against David's hold and shouts to calm down. "You stupid, dirty son of a bitch!"

He hadn't felt anything like this. Not even when his own father admitted Henry might be his undoing. Maybe it was because it was Jess, and he defended her differently. Maybe it was because it was Hook, and he knew he could actually hurt him, unlike his father. Or maybe because it was his son, and Jess were still Pan's prisoners, and he couldn't do anything, and he just had to hit something. Whatever the reason, he was angry, and he wanted to do even more damage to Hook.

"You don't do that!" he continued, still fighting to land another punch. "You don't get to judge her like that. You don't! You don't to think that, not after everything she went through!"

Hook looked up, his lip bleeding, looking somewhere between ashamed and defensive. Emma tried to help him up, but he ignored her, getting up on his own.

"Well, what the bloody hell was I supposed to think?" he asked. "I thought the lass was dead. I thought that Pan had killed her. And I come back, and she's a bloody Lost One! So I assumed the worst, and I took it out on her. I made a mistake, I see that. I should have known better. I should have known she was stronger. I hurt her, and that's unforgivable. But tell me, Baelfire, what was I supposed to think?"

Neal had the feeling that Hook had been wanting to say this for a while, and had been waiting for this chance. But Neal couldn't care less. All he could think was that the bastard had hurt Jess, who had already suffered so much, and didn't need anymore grief. Especially from Hook. And there was no way, no possible way that Hook could justify what he had done to her.

"You could have trusted her!" he shouted. "You could have taken one minute to think maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have joined the Lost Ones unless she knew what she was doing!"

He pulled himself out of David's grip, but it was as if David, Snow, and Emma were gone. It was just him and the pirate. No one else mattered, until the guy knew exactly what he had done.

"Well, I didn't!" Hook replied, wiping the blood away from his lip. "I should have, but I didn't. I found her and she was following Pan. Pan, after everything he had done to her. And the only reason I could think of for why, was that he had finally broken her. Why else would she join him?"

"Me!" Neal retorted, without thinking. "She joined them for me!"

As soon as it came out, he became aware that the others were still there, watching this exchange. They all shared the same confused expressions, but David seemed to be putting some of the pieces together. Emma looked almost… empathetic. Like she didn't know what was going on, but deep down, she was able to sympathize what the two of them were saying.

Hook, on the other hand, stared at Neal in shock. As if he couldn't process what was being said. That Jess had joined Pan for Neal. That Jess had willingly joined Pan, not because Pan broke her.

Neal turned away, fists clenched in frustration.

He hated this. He hated what he was hearing. That Hook, the one person that took care of Jess, the guy who had been like a father to Jess, had lost faith in her. He had never thought she had joined Pan for simply being the good person that she was. It had never occurred to him in the years that he had been separated from her, that Jess had stayed strong. And it frustrated Neal to no end.

"What?" Hook asked, almost as if the word was choking him.

Neal looked back at him, shaking his head. He felt the blood rushing through him, and he wanted to hit the guy again.

How...just... how dare that prick assume that Jess would ever sleep with Pan? That somehow, by joining the Lost Ones, Jess would sleep with Pan.

But still, if he had the chance to clear his sister's name, he had to do it. He owed that much to Jess. It was about time this group stopped flinching at the mention of her, and realize she was actually a good person.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, before meeting Hook's eyes.

"After you were left," he started. "Pan got her. He forced her to drink the same water that he drank."

At this, he pointed at David, who uncrossed his arms, and looked at Neal with surprise.

"So she-" David muttered, but Neal cut him off.

"Yeah," Neal said. "She became bound to Neverland. She leaves, she dies. It was Pan's way of making sure she was trapped for good. But she got away. Somehow she got out, and made it back to my cave. And… you didn't see her, Hook. You don't know what that did to her. She lost all hope. She just wanted to curl up in a corner and die."

He could see his words were getting to the pirate. The way that realization slowly crept into Hook's eyes, the way that remorse started to appear. Seeing that he was successful, Neal went on.

"But she got better," he continued. "It took her a while, but she got better. So she and I stayed together. We didn't have much, but we looked after each other. For years, we hid out in that cave, trying to make the best of it."

He felt a small smile come back to his face, as he thought about the times he and Jess had in the cave, sharing stories, hunting and gathering, coming up with names for the children they were sure they would never have.

We thought we would be there forever, Neal thought, looking back on it. But we didn't care. We just took it day by day.

"So what happened?" David asked, pulling Neal from his thoughts.

Neal looked at him in surprise, but David appeared to be sincere. He really did want to know what had happened with Jess. Neal sent him a grateful look, before sighing.

Even the memory of what had happened still haunted him.

"We started running out of food," he explained. "We had to search in a different area for food. We left together, and we let our guard down. Pan's boys found us. Jess… she got away. I wasn't so lucky"

To this day, he wasn't even sure what it was that had rescued Jess. He knew it was some sort of shadow, but he never had gotten his chance to ask her. By the time he had recovered enough to remember what happened, Jess was already gone. Even during their rare meetings after she joined the Lost Ones, she never thought to explain what had taken her that day. Whatever it was, though, it kept Jess out of Pan's hand that day, and that was enough for Neal.

He looked down, his mind flashing with the memories of what took place after Jess disappeared. It took all his willpower not to shudder at the memory. Even now, he could still feel the agony of his shadow being ripped out over and over again.

"Pan tortured me," he said, bluntly. "He said I was a message. And then he started to rip my shadow. Not completely, but enough that it hurt like hell. He did it again, and again, and again. Then he left me for Jess to find me. I don't know what happened after that, I just know that the next thing I remember was waking up in the cave to find Jess gone. I thought Pan had gotten her, so I went straight to his camp. They caught me pretty quick, and started to beat me up pretty badly. Then Jess ran over, and begged Pan to stop. That's when I realized what had happened: Jess had joined Pan so that he wouldn't hurt me anymore."

To his satisfaction, he saw shame creep into Hook's expression, as he realized what Neal was saying. More than that, he could see Hook starting to sink down to the ground, as he started to grasp what he had done. Jess had done nothing, and Hook had called her a whore for it.

_That's right you bastard,_ Neal thought, bitterly. You hurt her. You accused of something vile, when really she was being the same good person that you knew and loved. And you hurt her.

"I didn't…" Hook choked out. "I didn't know…"

Neal shook his head. Part of him knew that there was no way for the pirate to know. But something inside him was still pulsing, demanding vengeance, and he pressed onwards.

"And you know what happened after that?" he asked, his voice biting. "It wasn't enough for Pan. She spent a few months being a good little Lost Girl, letting him teach her how to use magic, how to fight. And that wasn't enough. Because he knew that she was still fighting him deep down, because I was still alive.

"So he decided to get rid of me. He captured me, and told her he would kill me. And do you know what she did, Hook? What his so-called whore did? She got me out. She put her life on the line, and she got me out of Neverland."

At this Emma perked up.

"She got you out?" she repeated, clearly taken aback by the new bit of information. "_She_ got you out?"

Neal knew why she was surprised. She expected him to be the one who knew how to leave Neverland. She knew him as a con-man, someone who could figure out his way out any situation. It was as if she never thought that maybe it was someone else who got him out of Neverland.

It didn't change anything, though. He knew how to do it again. He could still get them out, once they got Pan's shadow. But that wasn't Neal's focus, right now. It was the pirate, who had sunk down to the ground, looking wracked with guilt.

"Yes," Neal said, cooly, eyes still on Hook. "_She_ got me out. _She _saved me. And it killed her to do it. You could see it in her eyes. She was so scared, but she got me out, because she knew if I stayed, I would never be safe. You understand, Hook? She got me out, so I would be safe. She didn't care what Pan did, she just wanted me to be safe."

Without thinking, he walked over to Hook, and reached down, violently grabbing him by the coat. He could feel the cold anger building up again, and he let it flow freely.

"Don't you get it?" he growled, in the pirate's face. "She loved you, Hook! She loved both of us more than her own life. She would choose both of us over herself every. Damn. Time."

He let go, shoving the pirate down before turning away in disgust. He knew what he had to do. He knew he had to get his son and his sister out. But right now, he was just so damn angry. He couldn't think while he was angry. But for now, he had to wait and calm down. He couldn't help Henry or Jess like this.

But he was just so damn angry at Hook. And suddenly between Emma and Jess, Neal wasn't sure how he would be able to finish this plan with the pirate beside him. He knew they needed his ship, but still… he had now tried to take Emma, and he had hurt Jess. Those were two things Bae did not easily forgive.

"She got you out, and she would do it again," he muttered. "And you hurt her. Jess is one of the best things in both of our lives, and you burned her. If there was anything you could have done to turn her against you, this was it. Well done, Hook. You just gave her every reason to stay with Pan."

* * *

_Gods, I am stupid, in every sense of the word._

Less than a day ago, I wasn't sure if this was a good idea. I thought it would be suicide.

Hell, this _is _suicide. If I slip up in any way, if Pan realizes what I'm doing, or if I give the Shadow an inch, then I lose any high ground I have.

_No,_ I tell myself, as I go down another zipline, heading towards Dark Hollow. _That isn't true. I still have the Dark One dagger. Bae should be free by now, so Pan lost his leverage on me. And Devon has his heart back, so the others don't have any leverage on me either. Also, the Shadow claims it is supposed to listen to me. It won't try anything, not after it told me what I'm supposed to become. _

So why is my heart still pounding?

As soon as I reach the end of the zipline, I stop, and reach out with my sixth sense. Sensing nothing, I go on to the next zipline, still staying alert for Pan or his shadow. I brought Henry back to camp after he woke up, and gave some excuse about finding some food while I asked Marcus to watch him. I should be alright, for a couple of hours, before someone- particularly Pan- realizes what I am doing.

I know what Pan would do if he realized I'm going to talk to the Shadow. Try to stop me, try to tell me that it won't work, that it won't help. That there is still no other way to save my brothers besides killing Henry.

But I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that. I've made my choice, and I know that there _has_ to be some other way to save my brothers. Henry's death can't be the only way to save them. There has to be something.

_Pan won't see it that way, though. He'll see me going to the Shadow as betrayal. Because it means that I'm undermining him. That I'm going behind his back, and disobeying his orders. And that is something he can't stand me doing. _

Once I thought it was just because of his sick game that he plays with me. But after what the Shadow told me… I'm not so sure. The game is part of it, but I can't help but wonder if my defying him is a sign that he's failed to break me. That by defying him, I prove that I'm still not his pawn. That I just might be the one who can take Neverland from him.

I stop at the end of the zipline, wiping away some sweat with a sigh. I'm as close as I can get to Dark Hollow by zipline.

I can't believe how complicated this has become. Once, I followed Pan, because we both needed to save my brothers. We weren't friends, but we weren't enemies either. But now… Pan has proven himself to be untrustworthy over, and over again.

Yet the idea that he's been afraid that I will usurp him is still hard for me to wrap my head around.

"Well," I mutter to myself, as I start to make my way down to the ground. "He can keep Neverland for all I care. So long as the others are safe."

As soon as my feet touch the ground, I feel an instant rush of the wild, chaotic magic, and I know the Shadow already senses me and is coming for me. Instinctively, I steel myself and try to keep my expression as neutral as possible. I know it can't hurt me, but this thing also attacked my brothers. It attacked Pan to try to kill them. I still don't know if I can trust it, even if it claims to be protecting me.

At the same time, I keep my sixth sense on alert, in case Pan makes his way near here.

_It will be alright_, I try to tell myself. _I just want to talk. If it is serious about what I am to Neverland, then it will answer truthfully. It's not like I'm going to war with Pan. _

Not yet, anyway.

I turn towards Dark Hollow as I feel the Shadow's magic drawing closer. Sure enough, I start to hear it's rattling breath, and I have to keep myself from tensing when it comes to view, floating a few feet away from me.

"Hello, Dreamer," it says, inclining its head slightly.

Yesterday, I would have thought this was just a greeting, nothing more. But now, after everything it's told me, the greeting feels different. The way it says 'Dreamer' as if saying 'your highness'; the way it nods its head, as if bowing slightly.

I blink, slightly taken aback by this realization, but I say nothing. That's not why I'm here, although I will want to learn more eventually.

"Hello, Shadow," I reply evenly, in case I'm getting the wrong impression. "Do you know why I'm here?"

Normally, I wouldn't cut to the chase. But now there's no time. I can't count the days I have left with my brothers with the fingers of one hand, and every minute I waste is another one I could have used to save them. Before, I didn't worry, because I thought it was possible to get Henry's heart. But now, that isn't an option. Not anymore.

The Shadow doesn't answer immediately, though. It floats a few inches higher, cocking it's head, as if confused.

I imagine the emotion is somewhat new to it, all things considered. The idea would almost be funny if I wasn't so short on options.

"Not...quite…" the Shadow replies slowly. To its credit, it doesn't sound grudging, like it resents admitting this. Just plain and simple honesty.

"You told me that I was meant to take over Neverland, right?" I say, crossing my arms. "And if that's true, then you need to answer me honestly if I ask you something, right?"

The Shadow does not look any less confused, from what I can see. Then again, I don't have much to go off of, only it's body language and the occasional stirrings of its magic.

_I only hope I'm right about this. If I'm wrong, and the Shadow does not have to answer me correctly, then I might have just played my last card without realizing it._

But I have no where else to turn to. I don't trust Emma and the others, and I doubt the Dark One knows about his father's time running out. He wouldn't be so worried about dying if that were the case. That leaves only the Shadow.

"That is correct," the Shadow answers, and I let out the breath I was holding.

Good. It has to tell me the truth. Whatever the answer, I know it will be correct.

_And yet_, says a small voice in the back of my mind, what if you don't like the answer. _What if it tells you that there is no way to save your brothers? What if, for all it's honesty, it still tells you that killing an innocent boy is the only way? _

Then I will figure something out, truth be damned. I've made my choice, and I will not let Henry or my brothers die.

I feel my heart pounding in my chest, as I inhale, trying to force my voice, so I can ask the question I need answers too.

_Just ask_, I try to tell myself. _There is no hurt in just asking. _

"Pan's hourglass," I say slowly, forcing the words out one by one. "I… I need to know the truth. Is it possible to give him more time?"

"No."

I feel my heart plunge, slightly taken aback by the Shadow's bluntness. It's glowing eyes are almost glaring at me in shock, and disapproval, as if it can't believe what I have just asked.

_No. There is no way to give Pan more time. No way to buy my brothers more time. Except through Henry. No way to save my brothers, aside from killing the boy._

I feel tears starting to form in my eyes, and I quickly look away, trying to calm myself down. It's wrong. It has to be wrong. Or it's lying to me. It could be either one.

_I just...I can't believe that the only way to save my brothers is by killing Henry. _

"What do you mean 'no'?" I ask through gritted teeth, in an effort to stay under control.

That Shadow looks at me in dismay, before floating a few inches higher.

"I thought I was clear," it replies sharply. "Neverland cut off the magic fueling his youth. The only magic Pan has now is what was flowing through him when he gave up his son. It is impossible to simply give him more time."

My hands are clenched into fists, and it takes all my effort not to scream at the Shadow.

_It knows what I'm asking. I know it does. But instead it plays games with me, telling me that one specific thing will not work. And every second I waste playing these games is another one lost for my brothers, and for Henry. _

"Then have Neverland's magic flow back in him," I snap. "If it cut off the magic, then let it flow through him again."

_Gods, I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm bargaining for Pan's life. Pan's. The person who has done nothing but torment me for years, yet I'm still trying to save his life. _

No, I'm not. Not really. I'm just trying to save my brothers. I'm trying to save Henry. If Pan gets saved with them, then that's a consequence I'll deal with in my own time. Not when the Boys' lives all hang in the balance.

The Shadow, however, seems just as irritated as I am. Maybe even more so.

"Don't you understand, Dreamer?" it all but shouts at me. The sound is so chilling, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "I do not control Neverland's magic. I serve it, I protect it, just as I do with you! I am the island's guardian. It's voice. I have no say in whom it flows through and whom it does not. I could not give Pan more time, even if I wanted to."

I feel something boiling inside me, and it takes all my self restraint not to lash out at it.

Only hours ago, I made the decision that I would not let Henry, or my brothers die. I swore to myself, and to Henry, that I would die before I let any of my brothers die. And now the Shadow, for all it's talk of serving me, tells me that there is no way to save them. That my only option is to kill Henry.

_The Shadow and the Dark One claim I have unrealized power, but what good is that power if I can't protect my family? _

My magic saved Abby, when Pan tried to bring her back into Neverland. My magic created a bean, that got Hook out of Neverland. My magic trapped Pan's shadow, and got Bae out of Neverland. I refuse to believe that there is nothing that I can do to save my brothers.

"So that's it, then?" I ask, anger dripping off of every word. "There is nothing that can give him time? Nothing that will save him or the Lost Boys? Nothing that will stop my brothers from dying? And for all your talk of me ruling Neverland, you're telling me that there is nothing I can do to save them!"

I shout the last words, and the Shadow almost seems to recoil in surprise. As if it is taken aback by my anger.

_Well, it's the truth. Either I let Henry die, or I lose all of my brothers. I lose my family. I lose the boys who looked after me, who gave me a home when I had none. _

But if I don't, I lose my soul. I let Bae's son die, and I will never forgive myself. Either way, I lose everything.

_Because even though I'm supposedly the one to rule Neverland, I can't save the people who mean the most to me. _

"What are you talking about, Dreamer?" the Shadow asks, sounding lost.

I look up, and see the Shadow staring at me at what I can only describe as complete confusion.

_But… what could it possibly be confused about? It knows that Pan's magic is the only thing keeping my brothers alive. It knows how much I care about my brothers, and that I would die for them in a heartbeat. How does it not understand what I'm trying to do? _

"I'm talking about my brothers," I reply, stating the obvious. "I'm talking about their lives. Shadow they are all that I have left, and I can't lose them. And if Pan dies… if his magic runs out…"

_Gods, I don't even want to think about this. My brothers have days, at most. What if I can't save them? What if I can't do this? What if Henry is the only way? _

I won't stand aside, and let that boy die. But I can't lose my brothers. If there is even the smallest thing I can do to save all of them, then I have to do it. But I cannot accept that Henry dying is the only option. I won't take one life, just to save others.

I force myself to hold back a sob, as I look at the Shadow, who still looks confused. And, then, without a second thought, I sink to my knees. A couple of tears escape, and I don't bother to wipe them away.

"They are all I have left," I tell the Shadow, my desperation unmistakable. "I can't lose my brothers, Shadow. As long as Pan is alive, so are they. I can't lose them. I can't lose anyone else. Shadow, please, if there is anything that can save Pan, anything _I _can do to save them, please just tell me."

I know that I'm begging. And I don't care.

Because I am out of options. I see that now. Henry is my last card I could play, and I refuse to use him. I refuse to let Henry die. I have nothing else. No trick up my sleeve that I can use to save my brothers, no magic that I can use.

So here I am, begging on hands and knees, for something, anything that can save my brothers. Including Henry. Even if I have to sacrifice my own life, I will do it. I don't care. I just know I have to save them. That I have to find someway to make sure they all will live. Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, that does not mean Henry, or another innocent's death, I will do it.

_But I can't lose my brothers. I can't go through that. If they die, so will I. I don't know when, or how, but if I lose my brothers, I will die too. Hell, even if Henry dies, I too will be dead inside. They are all I have left, and I cannot bear the idea of losing them any longer. _

I see the Shadow start, and I look up to see a distant look in its glowing eyes. Almost as if it is putting together pieces of a puzzle. Its eyes seem to glow brighter with realization, and it looks down at me, almost sympathetically.

"He told you that they were dying," the Shadow almost whispers to me. "That if he did not obtain the Heart of the Truest Believer, all the Lost Boys would die."

_Why is this such a hard concept for the Shadow to understand? Of course Pan told me. How else would I know that they… gods, I can't even think about it anymore. _

"He showed me," I reply. "He showed me years ago, the night that you tried to kill them."

That was the night that changed everything. That I allied with Pan, that I offered my heart to save my brothers. Gods, I wish I could go back to that night, and insist that we find some way to make my heart work, so we would not have to use Henry's. So that he would never have to come to Neverland in the first place, and would never be put in this position. Forced to choose between his own life, and my brothers'.

_I won't let that happen though. I won't let him die. I won't let Pan-. _

Suddenly, the Shadow says two words that make my blood run cold.

"He lied."

_What?_

I stare at the Shadow, wiping my eyes, as it looks down on me. It floats down so that it is only a few inches off the ground, and looks at me. Its eyes are almost… understanding.

That Shadow meets my gaze, and seems to sigh.

"I should have known he would have done something like this," it says, almost to itself. "He must have seen that you were no more broken after the Dark One's son left than before. He realized that the only to truly convince you to help him was by telling you that his men were in danger. He knew you cared for them more. So he told you they were dying as well, in order to convince you to help him."

I can only stare at it, unable to wrap my head around what it has just told me.

_What? Pan was lying… about everything? But that's impossible. He showed me the memory. He showed me the hourglass. And if that wasn't the case, then it does not make any sense…_

"No," I say, slowly shaking my head. "No, that isn't true. He showed me his memories. You were there. You told him that if he brought others into Neverland, he would be using the magic fueling his youth to keep them alive. I'm only alive because I'm a Dreamer, and I don't need the magic. But the others- my brothers- need his magic to stay alive on Neverland."

And yet… even as I'm saying that, it feels like I'm missing something. Something that has been staring me in the face for ages, and I have always ignored. Because I couldn't take the chance that Pan was lying, and put my brothers lives on the line.

The Shadow floats higher, and gestures for me to get up as well. I do, after a minute. I'm no good crying on my knees. I might as well stand.

"Memories can be altered, Dreamer," the Shadow explains. "There are ways to remove memories completely, or to take out certain details. Or, in other cases, to add elements that were never there to begin with. Pan learned these ways when he started to take his group of children. Perhaps he thought he could remove memories of parents, if a child was too resistant. But instead, he rarely used those abilities. He prefered breaking the boys' minds, making them believe that he was their family on his own. But he still knew how to do it all the same."

That sounds… terrible. The idea of Pan being able to reach into my mind and take out my memories of home. Of Abby, of my Mom, of everything in my old life, just erased because of his whim. I would never remember Abby, and the strength she gave me when I first came to Neverland. The strength she still gives me now, in the note she sent in Henry's book.

And he might have done it. It might have been so easy for him to go through my mind, and remove any memories I had of my sister, and my life back home. But instead, he chose to try to break me on his own. For once, I am glad that he prefers to play his game of breaking me, instead of taking the easy route.

"But if he was desperate enough," the Shadow continues. "If he saw you would not willingly give your heart to save him, he had to convince you otherwise. So he made a false memory, one that said that the boys you had grown to care about were running out of time as well, knowing that you would believe. He crafted a lie, the same lie he has told the other Lost Ones, that they are all dying. And the only way to save them is through the Heart of the Truest Believer. He must have realized if you would not try to save him, you would try to save his group of children."

I blink, trying to understand what it is saying. If what the Shadow is saying is true, then Pan lied to me that night. He told me that my brothers were dying, and convinced the Lost Boys as well. And we all believed him, so we fought to save our family. Never realizing that the only person Pan was fighting to save was himself.

_It would be the perfect lie. We would never know. I never took the risk to believe Pan was lying, because I thought my brothers lives were at stake. Felix and some of the others… they trust Pan. They would believe him if he said that they all were dying. And others like Marcus, or Devon… they don't understand how the magic works here, in Neverland. They would just have to believe what Pan said was true. _

So we would do whatever it took. We would go as far as to try to convince an innocent child to sacrifice himself, because we needed to save our family. And after Henry gave Pan his heart, Pan would claim that the Boys were no longer in danger, and we would all believe him. We would never know the truth.

_And...gods, it makes sense. Pan revealed to me that he was dying that night. And despite my reservations, I decided that I would not help him. Between what he had done to me, to Bae, and to his own son, I was not going to help him live on, so he could continue to torture me and my brothers. _

_So what did he do when he realized I would not help him? He gave me a memory that made me believe that my brothers were in danger. He played me like a well-tuned harp, and I fell for it. _

But… the Shadow has lied before. It didn't tell me that it was the one that told Pan how to become young again. Hell, it threatened to kill my brothers the night I gave Pan my heart. How do I know that it's telling the truth now?

"How would that _work_?" I murmur. "You said yourself, Pan is the first person to walk on Neverland's shores. It's only the magic that was flowing through him when he first came that keeps him alive now. It's only my heart that keeps me alive now. None of the other Boys have magic. How will they still live?"

The Shadow looks at me, and for a second, I think it is going to grumble, or complain that I'm stubborn, and I should listen to it. But our eyes meet, and I can tell it understands. These are my brothers lives we're discussing, Henry's included. If I'm to believe what the Shadow is saying (not that I do), then I need to understand why.

"Neverland may be a place of childhood dreams," the Shadow explains. "But that doesn't mean it's magic only preserves those who channel it easily. Neverland's magic is neutral. It will not discriminate between child and adult. It will preserve anyone who walks its shores, keeping them from aging until they leave Neverland. Pan changed the rules when he turned himself into a child again. The magic here would have preserved him anyway, but instead he broke the rules, and misused the magic to turn him from a child into an adult. But the children… your brothers, as you call them… they are in no more danger of dying than they were when they first stepped foot on Neverland."

The words the Shadow just said… they are my salvation.

As soon as I realize what it is saying, I feel as if a great burden on my soul has been knocked away. I feel like I could fly now, with or without pixie dust.

But… there is still doubt. One tiny whisper in the back of my mind.

"How do I know you're not lying?" I breathe, staring at the Shadow.

My heart seems to stop, as I wait for it's response. Because what it says, right here and now may change everything.

The Shadow seems to understand.

"Simple," it replies patiently. "The pirate."

I pause, trying to figure out what it means by that.

_The pirate. It must mean Hook. That, I know for certain. But this is about Neverland's magic. This about the Lost Ones. How does Hook come into this? _

"The pirate lived in Neverland for centuries," the Shadow explains, as if sensing my confusion. "In all those years, he was an annoyance to Pan at best. Where you were concerned, he was a thorn in Pan's side. And yet he lived. He and his crew survived for centuries, without growing older."

_It's right. Gods, it's right! _

Hook continued to defy Pan where I was involved. He gave me shelter, comfort, support when I needed it. He kept me from breaking at my lowest points, he and Bae rescued me from Pan. There was absolutely no reason for Pan to keep Hook alive.

Hook admitted to me that he came to Neverland using the magic bean. Pan never brought him here. And when Hook became too much of a problem, Pan couldn't take away Hook's life. He had to send Sebastian to try to kill him. Because Pan doesn't control the magic that preserves Hook. He wasn't keeping Hook alive. Neverland was doing it for him.

Which means… if it kept Hook alive… it's keeping everyone alive on Neverland. Including my brothers. Which means… they aren't dying.

I gasp, the realization flooding me.

_They aren't dying. My brothers aren't running out of time. They are safe. My brothers are safe. _

_They're going to live. They are going to live!_

My brothers are going to make it.

It is as if every burden has been lifted off my shoulders. As if everything that has held me down has become nothing but air. I feel tears forming in my eyes, but I don't bother to wipe them away. They are tears of joy. The same joy I feel sweeping away my soul. And for one second, one beautiful second, I feel like I could fly, with or without pixie dust.

"YES!" I shout, practically jumping for joy. "_Yes!_"

_They're going to be okay. They're going to live. My brothers are going to live! _

I feel as if pure ecstasy is coursing through my veins right now. Gods, I want to run back to camp now, and just hug each and every one of them. To hold them, and never let them go. To say all those things I was afraid I'd never say, to spend those moments I was taking for granted.

Because they are going to make it. My brothers are going to make it!

Laughing, I turn to the shadow, grinning from ear to ear. It's still floating eye level to me, and it seems to be waiting patiently for me to finish.

_It will have to wait for a long time. Because I don't know how anything will take away from the relief and joy that I feel._

"Thank you!" I exclaim, stepping towards it. "_Thank you!_"

The Shadow looks at me, as if surprised.

"I only told you the truth, Dreamer," it replies, sounding unsure. "Nothing more."

I know. I know that's all it was doing. Just telling me the truth, fulfilling its duty. But it doesn't understand how much this means to me. To hear these words, to realize that my brothers are safe…

_Gods, I feel like a new person. I never knew how much this weight had been bearing down on me until it was gone. I feel like I could fly right along the Shadow if I wanted to right now. _

"No," I reply, standing only inches away from it. "You've done so much more. Up until today, I had no hope of saving my brothers. Not without taking an innocent life. You haven't just told me that they are safe, you've saved Henry. In telling me, you've saved me."

Without thinking, I reach out, and touch the Shadow's shoulder. My fingers freeze at the touch, and chills run through my entire body, but I don't move my hand.

"Thank you for that," I whisper.

The Shadow looks down at my hand, as if confused, and I realize I might be overstepping my bounds. Quickly, I remove my hand, flushing.

But it's true. In telling me the truth, it has assured me my brothers will be alright, it has saved Henry. It has saved my family.

And I can't be more overjoyed.

_They're safe. Gods, I can't believe it. They're safe. _

I let out another laugh, practically spinning around.

Gods, there is so much I need to do. Go back and tell the others that there is no need to worry. That they are safe. That we are safe.

Then I have to find Bae and… gods, I have to tell him! I have to tell him everything. That we're safe, that it's alright. That Henry is safe. That he can go back home with his family, that he-

I suddenly stop, as another realization dawns on me.

_My brothers aren't dying. They never were dying. _

So why would Pan need to bring Henry to Neverland? He knew that the Lost Ones weren't in danger. So why would he bring Henry to Neverland, and claim that we needed to save ourselves if they were never dying?

Unless… he knew I wouldn't help him unless I believed the boys were in danger. That's why he told me they were dying. He was lying to me. He found my weakspot, and he played me like a harp. Because he knew I would only help him to save my brothers.

_Gods, I am an idiot. A blind, stupid idiot._

This was never about saving the boys. Pan knew this from the start. This was about Pan getting more time. This was about him, trying to save himself, by making himself immortal.

So he kidnapped Henry, and spread the same lie to everyone. That my brothers are dying, and Henry needs to die to prevent that. When the truth is so much simpler, but so much darker.

_Pan doesn't want to die. So he's willing to take his own great-grandson's heart to ensure that he will never die. _

And I would have helped him. I would have helped him kill an innocent boy, because he played me and all of the Lost Ones so well. He even has Felix believing it.

But if none of the Lost Boys are dying, and Pan's time is running out… that means that he almost has a few days left. And that means he's going to do everything in his power to get Henry's heart before the time runs out.

_Gods, I was wrong. Not all my brothers are out of danger yet. As long as Henry is on Neverland, he is in danger. _

"Shadow," I say, turning to it. "We need to get Henry out of Neverland. _Right now._"

* * *

**A/N:**

Hey y'all!

I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to write. I know I said in my update message a couple months ago that the hiatus would only be for a month or so. But, with everything that happened, it took me longer than I expected to get back into writing. For a while, I wasn't sure if I was going to come back at all, but then I decided I owed it to y'all and to Vin to complete her story.

On a side note, there were so many condolences and support (again, thank you so much), that I won't be able to reply to each one individually. I promise I'll get back to responding properly with this chapter!

I know that this chapter didn't have a lot of action, but trust me, the next one will make up for that. This chapter, and the last ones, were mainly about Vin coming to different realizations about herself, and about her brothers and Pan. These were things she needed to understand before the story could move along. So, I hope y'all liked them.

A special thanks to** Kimberlydu31, Domitia Ivory, Emerald Isis, zuleika126, anettakaspar, KHfangirl95, WrittenWithLove765, yachiru-chan92, Random fangirl 43, I'm-a-Klaus-addict, tche4449, lilmissy21, theworld2sea, SawyerStoleTheTARDIS, PrincessofHxll, 1995, Giggles789, Princess2342, Sharn-sharn, XxCece, **and **GreenEcho** for putting this story on alert, and to **AnotherStripedSweater, Kimberlydu31, Domitia Ivory, zuleika126, anettakaspar, KHfangirl95, WrittenWithLove765, jd567, Random fangirl 43, , tche4449, lilmissy21, idvanaya, SwayerStoleTheTARDIS, Pocket Bug, PrincessofHxll, missmagnoliaxx5, MarieSeleneArroyo, Princess2342, Black Dragon Talom, XxCece, **and **GreenEcho **for favoriting it.

Also, a special thank you to ** , ColdHeartAngel, fireman12468, spatterson, sarah0406, mercenary2.0, ScarletKnight17, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Takara Matsudaira, LeopardFeather, LyrisaLove, LunaEvanna Longbottom, Maeburke3, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, Charmedhpgirl, WrittenWithLove765, meguhanu, **NeverlandDreamer, SuperFanNumber1, and all the guests who reviewed last chapter. And, as always, thank you to **Uncommon fairy**, my awesome beta reader.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Things are really going to heat up now that she knows the truth, so thoughts on where this is going to go are really appreciated.


	60. Chapter 60

_Okay,_ I tell myself as I pace back and forth. _Think this through. How do we do this? _

It feels like it should be easy, getting Henry off of Neverland. Hell, if I wanted to be quick, I could just imagine a bean, like I did for Hook, and send him on his merry way. But there are too many factors that keep anything like that from happening.

"Pan is the biggest problem," I say, thinking out loud. "Once he realizes that I'm trying to get Henry out of here, he's going to stop at nothing to get the kid back."

_And then he'll probably rip out Henry's heart, and kill him on the spot. I cannot let that happen. _

The Shadow floats a few feet away from me, listening and throwing in bits of advice when it can. I'm just grateful that it is open to the idea of saving Henry. While I can tell that it's focus is keeping me safe, it's good to know I have at least one ally in saving the boy.

"Good to hear that hasn't changed since the last twenty times you have said so," the Shadow says, sarcasm dripping from it's voice.

I don't even bother to roll my eyes. I have more important things to worry about.

It's hard to believe I was so happy only moments ago. Knowing that my brothers are going to make it, that they are safe… even now, it makes me smile a bit. But I can't think about that now. The Lost Boys may be safe, but Henry isn't. And, damn it, I promised Bae I wouldn't let Henry get hurt. I won't let Henry die, just to save Pan.

_He's as much my brother as any Lost Boy. Hell, he fired the arrow at Pan, danced to the pipes. He knows me as Vin, the name that only my brothers call me. That makes him a Lost Boy in my eyes. And I'm not letting him die._

I can't give Henry a bean, and let him open a portal out of here. Not while his family is still here. Henry probably won't leave without them, and even if he did, Pan would have every reason to hurt them to get back at Henry. Including Bae.

And, selfish as it might be, I'm not going to save Henry to put his father in danger. Not if it's possible to save them both.

"Alright," I say, searching for another option. "If I were to get Henry to his family, then I could get them off of Neverland with a bean. I don't know if they'll trust me, but if Henry and Bae vouch for me…"

"And how do you get the boy from camp without Pan's notice?" the Shadow asks. "You got away with it once, but from what you've told me, you're running out of excuses for you and the boy to leave Pan's camp."

_Damn, it has a point. Getting Emma and the others to trust me is the easiest part, even after everything I did. No, it's getting Henry to them that is the hard part. _

How do I smuggle him out of camp without Pan noticing? How do I get him all the way to his family, including the Dark One and the Evil Queen, all without Pan realizing what I'm doing and stopping me?

I glance at the Shadow, and bite my lip. I don't want to ask too much of it, but if it can help save Bae's son, I might have too.

"If Pan were to figure out what we're doing," I start, slowly, toying with a new idea. "Would you be able to hold him off?"

The Shadow gives me a look that I can only describe as pleased, but cautious.

"Of course," it says, as if the answer were obvious. "But that is assuming he doesn't summon his shadow to attack me as well. Even against my own kind, I can't fight off two powerful forces at once."

I nod, remembering Pan's shadow. The thing is fast and powerful. I have no doubt the Shadow could take Pan or his shadow on it's own, but not both at the same time.

Right, another problem. Even if Pan figures out what I'm doing, he could still send his shadow after Henry and I while the Shadow fights him off.

_So… what? I just grab Henry, and steal some pixie dust, get him to Emma, Bae, and the others, and pray Pan doesn't figure out what I'm up too? Too risky. For both me, and Henry. _

And the longer I stall, thinking of a plan, the closer Pan gets to taking Henry's heart anyway. I may not be running out of time for all of my brothers anymore, but Henry is still in danger as long as he is on Neverland. I need to get him out, and fast.

"Perhaps," the Shadow suggests. "If you recruit Pan's band of minions to help you-"

I feel a twinge of anger and disgust, as I give the Shadow a sharp look, cutting it off.

"I am not involving my brothers," I state flatly. "They aren't fighting Pan, or his shadow, even if it might help us."

I just got them back. I just learned that they aren't dying, that I'm not losing them. I won't deliberately place them in danger, even if it would help Henry. Because the second Pan sees they have betrayed them, he won't hesitate to kill them. He did the same thing to the Indians all those years ago, to Greg and Tamara. He's planning to kill Henry without a second thought. I won't let him hurt my brothers.

"I wasn't saying that," the Shadow replies, sounding slightly annoyed at my assumption.

I arch an eyebrow, ready to hear its suggestion. If the idea is stupid, I can reject it in a heartbeat. Especially if it involves my brothers getting hurt.

"Go on then," I prompt, crossing my arms.

The Shadow looks at me, obviously feeling as frustrated as I am, but does not say a word about it.

"What if they were to help you smuggle the boy to safety?" the Shadow suggests. "Make sure that Pan does not notice the boy's absence until it is too late?"

So, have them cover for me. It's not a bad idea. I could sneak Henry out, and if Pan realizes what they'd done, I could always say that I tricked them. It might be digging my grave even deeper, but then again, I'm getting Henry off of Neverland. I'll be lucky if Pan doesn't kill me by the end of the night.

_Not that I mind, really. I swore I'd give my life for Henry. If Pan kills me for saving the kid… it will still be worth it, if Henry is safe. _

"That might work," I admit, uncrossing my arms. "But, you said it yourself. I'm running out of excuses."

That might be the biggest problem with the Shadow's idea. If I ask my brothers to cover for me, but tell them nothing, they will know something is wrong. They might give me the benefit of the doubt if I left on my own, but they aren't stupid. If I take Henry, they will know something is going on. Some might even think I'm betraying them. Felix certainly will, if he figures out that I'm helping Henry escape.

_If I leave with Henry, they will think I'm taking their one shot at survival. There's no way they would cover for me, even if I asked them to trust me. Which leaves me with only one option. _

"I have to tell them the truth," I whisper.

The Shadow looks at me in surprise, and I bite my lip. I don't like it. It's risky, and will probably lead to Pan finding out sooner than I would like.

But on the other hand, I have no other choice. My brothers need to know the truth. They need to know that they are safe, that they aren't in any danger. Even if Henry wasn't in danger, they still need to know the truth.

_Gods, Henry needs to know. I told him only hours ago that the Lost Boys' lives depend on him. I need to tell him the truth. I need to take that burden off his shoulders. I need to get him to safety. _

"It's the only way that they'll help me smuggle Henry out of camp," I explain. "Once they know Henry is just an innocent kid, they'll let him go. They won't let a child get hurt, even if Pan needs him."

I can tell the Shadow is doubtful. It is almost watching me warily, as if worried that I'm pushing my luck. The fact is, I've been pushing my luck ever since I learned Henry is Bae's son. And somehow, I just can't bring myself to care. Henry… Felix, Marcus, Toodles, Devon… they are the ones who matter. If I can save all of them, then it's worth the risk.

"You don't like it," I guess, meeting the Shadow's gaze.

I half expect it to comment something about my safety, but it merely shrugs.

"It will be more difficult than you believe, Dreamer," it replies. "You have to convince your brothers to let the boy go, and leave Pan to die. That might not be as easy as you think."

"I know," I respond, raking my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I know, dammit! But I have to try, don't I? They're my brothers! I would die for them, and they've already risked a lot for me. I have to believe that they will help me. I have to believe they'll trust me."

"But how, Dreamer?" the Shadow asks, floating higher above me. "How will you convince them to help you save the boy? Tell them the truth? Who told you the truth? I did."

I blink, as I realize what it's saying. If I tell the boys what's going on, it will be the Shadow's word against Pan's. And even if I'm the one telling them the truth, they won't trust the Shadow. The last time they saw it, it attacked them, even Toodles, and nearly killed Pan. Whereas Pan has given them a home, comfort, and family. Even if I tell them the truth about Pan, that they aren't really dying, only him, they won't believe me, because the Shadow told me. They will choose Pan's word, every time.

_So how do I get them to believe me? I know some, like Marcus and Devon, might trust me somewhat, but that won't be enough to get Henry to safety. No, I need all of my brothers in on this, if I'm to hope to smuggle Henry out of camp without Pan noticing. _

Though, now that I think about it, if Pan was never keeping the Lost Boys alive, then that means that my brothers weren't really in danger the night the Shadow attacked our camp. Only Pan. But I still rushed to his rescue, because I believed his lies.

I start pacing again, biting my tongue at the thought, trying to figure this out.

"They won't believe you," I murmur, thinking of the Shadow's point. "Not after what you did at our camp. So how do we convince them that we're telling the truth?"

_If it was anyone else besides the Shadow, then they would believe me. Maybe if Tinkerbell knows, or one of the mermaids…_

I turn the Shadow, an idea slowly sprouting in my mind.

"Is there anyone else?" I ask. "Someone here who knows that the Lost Boys aren't dying? Someone my brothers would believe?"

_If I can find someone else to back up the Shadow's claim… yes, that might work. They would be able to reassure my brothers that I'm telling the truth. They would be able to confirm that none of my brothers are dying. They could tell the boys that Henry does not need to give his heart to save them. _

But all of that rides on there being someone else who knows the truth? And who would know? Tink? Not likely, seeing how she has joined Emma and her group. The Dark One? Possibly, but I feel he would have acted by now, if that was the case, rather than plot with the Evil Queen.

But if there is someone… they might be my only hope. They could tell my brothers the truth, and give Henry the chance he needs. The chance to escape Neverland, and get back to his family. The kid deserves that much.

The Shadow hesitates… but not as if it can't think of an answer. It doesn't seem confused or at a loss, like I am. It almost looks anxious. As if it is considering an option, but isn't sure if it should act.

"Shadow?" I ask, my heart in my throat.

If the answer is no… then I'm back to the beginning, and no closer to saving Henry from Pan.

The Shadow looks at me, almost reluctantly, before tearing it's gaze away.

"There might be someone," it responds, slowly. "Someone who Pan confides in."

Immediately, I feel the same joy I felt when I learned my brothers weren't in danger. I nod, grinning.

Yes, this is what I need. Someone who Pan confides in. Someone who would know that the Lost Boys aren't in danger, and could tell the Boys that Henry doesn't have to give his heart to save them. Someone they will trust enough to listen to me as well.

_Finally, things are starting to turn out right! _

"Great!" I exclaim, straightening. "Where are they?"

The Shadow doesn't answer right away. I can tell it's frustrated by my excitement, as if it only told me there was someone Pan confides in because I told it to tell me.

I can't understand why. This is it. This is what I've been waiting for. Something that actually works in my favor.

"Dreamer-" the Shadow starts, but I cut it off.

"Shadow, we're talking about an innocent boy's life," I say, bluntly. "If I don't get Henry out of here, Pan will kill him. If there is someone who can help me tell my brothers the truth, so that they will smuggle Henry out of camp, I have to trust them. I have to try. _I won't let Henry die._"

I don't know if the Shadow sees something in the way I'm looking at it, or something in my voice. Either way, I can see an understanding in it's eyes. That I'm serious about doing this, and I will see this through, even if it does not protect me.

"I won't be able to persuade you otherwise?" it asks, as if hoping my answer has changed in the last ten seconds. I shake my head in response.

This is Bae's son who is in danger. I don't care if it's risky to find Pan's confidante, I'm going to do it. With or without the Shadow's help.

Slowly, the Shadow sighs, and squares its shoulders.

"Very well," the Shadow says, floating closer to me and reaching out its hand. "Come with me."

I look at it's outstretched hand, and for a second I wonder if this is an elaborate trap to get me back to Dark Hollow. The Shadow said that it could keep me prisoner if it was for my own good. How do I know that's not the case.

_No,_ I tell myself. _It it was really going to do that, it has had the opportunity for ages. It could have taken me any time when I went to get Devon's heart back, or even now. No, what it has been saying is true. It must listen to me. So if I have told it to take me to this person who can help me, it's going to do it. _Whether it likes it or not.

Still, my hand is shaking when I take its hand. Maybe from my brief hesitation, or maybe my excitement. My brothers are not dying, and I have a chance to save Henry. A way to protect Henry, and get him back to his family, as well as keep my own safe.

Abby was right. This was the right way. A way that saved my loved ones, but didn't make me go down the wrong path. Gods, even though she wrote that letter to me years ago, she was still right.

Touching the Shadow's hand is like touching ice, and I immediately feel a chill run down my spine. The feeling of wild magic is even more powerful, as it overwhelms my sixth sense. Still I grit my teeth, and nod to the Shadow, signalling that I am ready.

I might have been faster on my ziplines, but I have no idea who or where this person is. It is probably better if the Shadow takes me there.

Next thing I know, the Shadow has risen into the air, taking me along with it. I gasp at the feeling, as we rise past the treeline, and over the jungle.

_Gods, I've missed flying! _

The Shadow moves fast, so the winds is in my hair, and for once, I feel weightless. I grin, as I let the Shadow fly me closer to the Northern part of the island.

Maybe I've been weightless for a while, and I'm just now noticing. My brothers are safe. Marcus, Felix, Toodles, they are all safe. They aren't dying, and they never will. And Henry, Bae… they'll be safe too. Even if I have to imagine a hundred magic beans to get them home. And Bae… he can tell Abby that I got her message. That I love her, and that in the end, she was right. About everything.

_Gods, I can't believe this! For once, something good has happened. No wonder I'm flying. If I had pixie dust, I would have started flying minutes ago. _

The Shadow says nothing, but I can see it's head turn every so often, as if nervous that Pan will find us. Normally, I might use my sixth sense to feel for Pan, but when I'm holding onto the Shadow, I can't sense anything except the feeling of wild magic.

Within minutes, the Shadow starts to descend, bringing us closer to the jungle, and into the trees again. However, it starts to slow as we descend, so that my landing isn't hard at all. Now that I think about it, that's probably a good thing. I never was able to master a graceful landing with pixie dust.

As soon as we land, I look around, taking in our surroundings. We're in a clearing, but far from camp. We're still in the jungle but… I've never been to this area. Not really. Even after all my time, there are still some areas I haven't been before, so that is not surprising. But still… how has someone lived here all this time, and I never knew?

_If it was a mermaid, it might make sense. But we're in the middle of the jungle. So who the hell is this confidante? And how have I never heard of them? _

"You sure this is the place?" I ask, looking at the Shadow doubtfully.

We're in the middle of nowhere. This area is clear, yes, but there is nothing here. No sign of life, no tracks, no cave or hollow tree or tree house. So where is this person that the Shadow claims can back up my claim?

"Yes," the Shadow replies, watching me carefully.

Okay, so it's sure we're in the right place, apparently. So where is Pan's friend?

_Wait…_

What if that's the reason Pan never told me about this person? The reason I can't find them right now? Because this is someone Pan trusts with his secrets. Like how he is planning to use Henry's heart to save himself, but convinced me that it was all my brothers who were at risk. He wouldn't want to risk telling these secrets to someone who could tell it to me, or to the boys. So what is the best way to keep those secrets from being told? By keeping this "friend" hidden from me, and from my brothers. Hiding them so well, that only Pan and the Shadow know that they exist. Hiding them so that to the naked eye, they can't be found.

Carefully, I reach out with my sixth sense, feeling past the Shadow's wild and chaotic magic, and feeling more for something else. Something that bears a trace of Pan's darkness. The same darkness I feel whenever I'm around him.

And then, I sense it. It's subtle, but it's there. Slowly, I close my eyes, and reach out further, trying to figure out what I'm feeling. It has Pan's darkness and yet… it's different from anything I've ever felt before. The magic is almost woven together, like a rug or a tapestry. So many threads of magic bound together, to keep anyone from seeing or hearing anything past the illusion.

_Who is this, Pan?_ I wonder. _Who is so important, that you keep them hidden behind this spell? That you would put so much work in making this spell to begin with? _

More importantly, how do I break this spell, to speak to this person?

I bite my lip, using my sixth sense to feel around the spell. It's well done. There's no crack in it, nothing I can use to unravel the spell. So how do I break it?

_Alright, _I think. _The Shadow says I'm the most powerful Dreamer. Powerful enough to rival Pan. Maybe the trick is not to unravel the spell… but to shatter it. _

I open my eyes in understanding, as I know what I have to do. Without saying a word, I reach out, and let Neverland's magic flow through me. Just as I did when fighting the Evil Queen. Just as I did to comfort myself after I attacked Emma, Hook, and their companions. I let it flow into my heart, building and growing. I force it to stay inside me. To build up, like a river against a dam. Because, if there is one thing the wild magic of Neverland hates, it's being held back.

Then, I let it go, directing it against Pan's spell.

The reaction is so powerful, it sends me reeling back for a second. Even the Shadow seems to feel something, as the two magics collide with one another.

_Gods, I can feel it. I can feel Pan's magic shatter under the pure force of Neverland's magic. I feel the twisted darkness collapse, giving way to the wild, chaotic magic that flows through me. It's strange, yet somehow… wonderful. _

I blink for a minute, as I see that the area is still unchanged. There doesn't seem to be any difference now that the spell has shattered, except… except for the cage standing about ten feet away from where I am.

_Oh gods, I recognize that cage! It's the same one that Pan put me in, the night he captured me. The same one that he kept me in for days, until I thought I was going to go insane. And somehow, one just like it, is right in front of me_.

My eyes widen, as I stare at it for a second, my expression blank. I'm trying to wrap my head around this, and yet… I can't.

_Why is my cage here? Why would Pan hide it like this? What-_

My thoughts are cut off when I hear a small, timid voice come from the cage.

"Hello?"

I start, not expecting this. For a second, I thought it was the cage Pan kept me in. It never occurred to me that he had someone else that he kept in another cage.

_Gods, there is someone in that thing! _

I shake my head, telling myself to snap out of it. I quickly approach the cage, the Shadow following me.

"W-Who's there?" the prisoner calls, sounding more scared than anything else. It's the same fear I've heard a hundred times from Toodles, when he's scared of the dark.

But their voice… it's different. Not like the voices of my brothers, even those as young Toodles or Slightly. It's… oh gods!

It's female.

My heart plunges, and I rush over to the cage, crouching down beside it. A pair of terrified, brown eyes peek through the crack in the cage bars. I can't make much out beside the girl's eyes, but I can still see her fear and confusion.

If she's kept in a cage, and Pan has kept her from everyone… the poor thing must be terrified.

"W-who a-are you?" she asks again, her voice trembling.

_Gods, she can't be older thirteen, by the sound of it. Too young to be locked away like this, especially by Pan. _

"It's okay," I say gently. "It's okay. I'm a friend. I'm not going to hurt you."

I glance over at the Shadow, but it doesn't say or do anything, only watches me warily. I turn back to the girl, and I can tell she's still frightened. Just because I said I'm a friend, doesn't mean she's going to calm down. I certainly wouldn't have, and I was in my cage for a handful of days. I don't know how long the girl has been inside, but certainly longer than that.

"It's alright," I tell her, trying to be reassuring. "It's going to be alright. I'm going to get you out of here."

With that, I turn to the door of the cage. It has a lock, attached to a chain that's keeping the door of the cage latched shut. I take a second to examine the lock, before imagining the tools I need to pick it. It's not so different than the ones that the boys taught me to open. Or the ones that were on Bae's hands when I freed him years ago.

My hands are shaking so much as I insert the tools. I don't know if it's from surprise, or anger. How dare Pan do this to another girl? How dare he take someone, and lock them away, keeping them isolated from anyone but him?

Would this have been me? If I hadn't joined him, and played along in his game, would I still be in a cage too?

_Just focus,_ I tell myself. _Worry about that later. Focus on getting this girl out of the cage! _

I grit my teeth, and set to work, just as my brothers taught me. One to hold down, all in the tumblers. Within seconds, I hear a click, and I pull the lock free. Without wasting any time, I toss the lock away, and pull away the chain, allowing the door of the cage to swing open.

Inside the cage, a small girl in white is crouching warily. Her sandy brown hair is messy, her feet are bare and her lacy nightgown is somewhat dirty. Her expression is still terrified, but she doesn't move. Like a small animal that doesn't want to move, so that the predator won't go after it.

Any anger I have at Pan is immediately pushed away, as I reach a hand out to her. I can deal with him later. Right now, I have to take care of this poor kid.

_Gods, she's the same age as Mat and Rand. And Pan has kept her locked up here for who knows how long. My sixth sense tells me that this girl has about as much magic as a doornail. So why would Pan keep her locked away like this?_

"It's alright," I repeat, trying to be as reassuring as possible. "I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. It's going to be okay."

The girl is still trembling, as she slowly reaches out and takes my hand. Carefully, I guide her out of the cage and onto the forest floor. As soon as she's out of the cage, she starts to straighten, but she stumbles for a second, as if she hasn't really stood in a long time. I catch her before she falls, and support her as I help her stand straight.

Suddenly, she turns, and she her eyes land on the Shadow. Immediately, she lets out a scream, holding me as if for dear life. The Shadow starts in surprise, and looks at me in confusion.

_Oh gods, she thinks the Shadow is Pan's. _

"It's okay," I try to reassure her. "It's alright, it won't hurt you. It's not Pan's."

But the girl doesn't listen, she only lets out another scream, and clings to me tighter. She's been in the cage for too long. She doesn't know friend from foe now, just that the Shadow looks like Pan's. Hell, it was probably Pan's shadow that took her from her home in the first place.

The Shadow and I meet each other's eyes, and I can tell it has figured out the same thing that I have. She sees it as an enemy, and right now, it's scaring her to death.

"Go," I tell the Shadow, waving my hand away. "You're scaring her."

The Shadow doesn't obey immediately. It glances at the girl who is now almost sobbing into my tunic, then back at me.

"What about you?" it asks, it's high cold voice causing the girl to whimper in fear.

"I'll be fine," I reply, making 'get going' motions with my hand. "I'll give you a signal when I need you. Go."

The Shadow looks at me, as if to see if I'm serious. I give it a look that says I am dead serious about this. Right now, seeing something that has probably haunted her nightmares is the last thing this girl needs. Eventually, the Shadow nods, and flies away. I can feel it's wild magic fade as it gets farther away, and within seconds, I can't sense it or see it at all.

I look back down at the girl, who is still sobbing.

"It's alright," I tell her, rubbing soothing circles around her back. "Hey, it's alright. It's gone, see? It isn't here anymore."

The girl doesn't look immediately. She is still shaking like a leaf, so I guess she still needs a minute. I don't say anything, only continue to rub soothing circles, and try to comfort her. Eventually, she calms down enough to pull away, wiping her eyes.

She still looks at me warily, but some of the confusion in her eyes has melted away.

"Who are you?" I ask, tilting my head in confusion.

"M-My name is Wendy Darling," she replies, staring me with wide eyes.

My eyes widen and my jaw drops a little, as I realize what she's saying.

"Wendy Darling?" I repeat in shock. "_The_ Wendy Darling?"

The girl nods, and I can still feel her trembling. But I can only stare at her, as I start to understand what this means. This is the girl from the original Peter Pan story. The girl that took Bae in when he needed shelter, who Bae traded places with to save her family. The girl who should have died over a century ago. But she doesn't look a day older than thirteen. Which means… gods, she's been here as long as Bae was, if not longer.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her, crouching down so that we are eye level. "Why are you…"

I trail off, not wanting to mention the cage, but a swift glance at it lets her know what I mean. She follows my glance at the cage, before she turns back to me.

"I-I came here to find someone," she answers. "Someone who saved my family. But Pan, he… he caught me instead. He kept me locked in the cage, and wouldn't let anyone see me. Only he and his friend Felix knew that I was here."

My heart drops to my stomach at the last sentence.

_No, no way. That's impossible. No way that Felix knew about this. Felix would never allow this. He wouldn't… he couldn't… He wouldn't do that to someone, even if Pan commanded him… He wouldn't…_

Wendy looks at me curiously, her brow furrowed.

"You're her, aren't you?" she asks, pulling me from my thoughts. "You're Vin."

I blink, and stare at her in confusion. How does she know? I didn't even know she was alive until two minutes ago; how does she know my name?

"How did you-" I start, but Wendy cuts me off.

"Pan talks about you," she explains. "He talks about you a lot. He gets frustrated by you. He says that… that you won't play the game, and that makes him angry. But, he… he still likes playing with your fire."

I have to bite my tongue to keep me from snapping in rage. Yeah, I know what game he wants me to play. And now that I know what he's capable of, there's no way in hell I'll ever play it.

He's kept this poor girl locked up in a cage for years, and for what? To have someone to confide in? Someone he can spill all his dirty little secrets too? Hell, Wendy is his diary! Something he can pour all his thoughts, all his feelings to, because who is she going to tell?

It's sick. It's sick, and I'm honestly surprised I never thought he would do it before.

_This ends_, I think, fiercely. _Tonight, if possible. Once Henry and his family are out of Neverland, this ends once and for all._

Henry. Right. He's the reason I sought Wendy out in the first place. The reason the Shadow brought me here, to find her.

"Wendy," I say, my tone suddenly urgent. "I know you're scared, and I know you don't understand what's going on. But I need you to tell me: did Pan ever say anything to you about his death? Anything at all?"

Wendy looks taken aback at my urgency, but she still nods slowly.

"He did," she replies, sounding confused. "He said that unless he gets the Heart of the Truest Believer, he's going to die when the sand in an hourglass runs out. He said that it's a trade. He lives, and the person with the heart dies."

So the Shadow was right. My brothers aren't dying. They were never dying. That was just a lie Pan fed me, to get me on his side. He convinced me my brothers were dying, so that I would help save his life. By killing an innocent boy. By killing Bae's son.

I suppress a glare, and have to keep myself from tightening my grip on Wendy. It isn't her fault that Pan lied to me; I can't take it out on her. Gods know this girl has suffered enough.

_I have to get her out of here,_ I realize. _I don't know what Pan was using her for, aside from his personal talking diary, but if he finds out that she's free, he's going to stop at nothing to get her back in that cage. I won't let that happen. _

"Okay, Wendy, listen," I murmur. She looks me in the eye, her expression attentative.

"I'm going to get you out of here," I explain. "But I'm going to need your help. Do you remember Baelfire?"

Her eyes light up at the name, and she nods immediately.

"You know Bae?" she asks, excitement flooding her voice. "Is he alright? Where is he?"

I know that reaction all too well. It was the exact same one I had when Bae told me he found Abby.

"He's fine," I assure her. "Trust me, he's fine right now. But, Wendy, the Heart of the Truest Believer? It's his son. It's Bae's son, and Pan is going to kill him unless we do something."

Wendy's face dissolves into shock, her jaw dropping slightly, and her brown eyes widening.

"I need your help," I continue. "I need you to help me get him out of Neverland. Can you do that for me, Wendy? I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you."

She seems to recover from her shock pretty quickly, but she still hesitates. As if there is something that is still holding her back. Something else that I don't know. But whatever it is, it hurts her like hell, because her face is heartbroken.

"I… I can't," she replies, looking on the verge of tears. "Pan, he's… he's keeping my brothers alive. If I betray him..."

So Pan told her the same lie he told me. That he's the only one keeping her brothers alive, and if she betrays him, he will let them die. The perfect trap, because there is no way she would try to call his bluff. There's no way she'd take the risk.

But me, I'm fed up with Pan using my brothers as leverage. And I'll be damned before he does the same thing to another family.

"Wendy," I say, my voice almost an octave lower. "I swear, I won't let him hurt you, or your brothers. I swear, on my life. But, right now, I need you to trust me. Bae's son is in danger, and I-"

Suddenly, I feel my heart drop. I see Wendy's eyes widen in horror, as she looks over my shoulder, seeing something I don't. But I don't have to turn around to see who she's looking at. I already know. I feel the dark, twisted magic radiating off of him in spades. Slowly, still keeping a protective hand on Wendy, I straighten, and turn around.

Pan is standing several feet ahead of us, and he is anything but pleased. If looks could kill, I would be a pile of ashes. His expression is nothing but pure, cold anger. And it is directed straight at me.

"Oh, Vin," he says, his voice deadly calm. "I really wish you hadn't done that."

* * *

**A/N: Oh dear, we are in trouble...**

Hey y'all!

Alright, first things first: I'm so sorry for the late update. My life became extremely crazy after my last update. With that said, I know I promised a lot of action for this chapter, and I'm sorry if I didn't quite deliver. I realized that I could either split the chapter in two, and update, or do one large chapter, but make y'all wait for another month. This seemed like the better option. Once again, thank you for all of your patience with my hectic schedule.

And, Wendy has finally made her appearance! As y'all can tell, her role is probably going to be a little different in this story. However, I did like her character on the show, so I'm still trying to do her justice. Let me know what y'all thought of her!

A special thanks to **Maelys Mikaelson, Iron Fist 32, Sayonara Yasashii Akumu, **and **LoverGirl007** for putting this story on alert, and to **HopeLifeLove, sofialorido995, Maelys Mikaelson, Jacqueline 3005, Iron Fist 32**, and **RORO124C **for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Shinonome Sakuya, Authora97, LeopardFeather, Lady Deebo, Elliebelle4444, ColdHeartAngel, Charmedhpgirl, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, Deadly Papegoja, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Iron Fist 32, **SuperFanNumber1, and all the guests for their incredible reviews. And, as always, a special thanks to my beta, **Uncommon fairy**, for putting up with my constant requests to look over my chapter.

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Thoughts on Wendy, and what's to come are especially appreciated. **:) **


	61. Chapter 61

I don't respond. I keep my face a blank mask, not moving a single muscle. I keep a protective hand on Wendy, and I can feel her shaking. He looks back at me, not moving either. As if he's waiting for me to make a move first.

For a moment, the silence is so thick, I could cut it with a knife. Neither of us move, nor do we break the other's gaze. The pause is only broken when Wendy speaks up.

"I didn't know," she whispers, her voice trembling. "I-I didn't know that she would-"

Pan's gaze snaps to Wendy, instantly directing his icy anger at her. This only causes her to shake more, and she lets out a small whimper. Immediately, I tense, ready to make a move.

He's hurt this girl so much already. He locked her in a cage, and fed her the same lie he fed me about her brother's dying. Who knows what else he has done to her in all the years he's held her captive? I won't let him hurt her anymore.

"Wendy," he hisses. "Shut up."

I feel Wendy flinch, but she does as she's told.

"Leave her out of this," I snap, bringing his attention back to me. "None of this is her fault. I'm the one who got her out."

Pan arches an eyebrow, as if slightly surprised at my words. I can see a hint of a smirk, but it's hidden behind the rage on his face.

"I figured as much," he replies, almost matter-of-factly. "I spent almost a month, putting together the different spells to hide her. Imagine my surprise when I felt it fall apart like wet paper."

I have to pull back my own smirk at his words. It seems the Shadow is right. I am more powerful than him. His carefully woven spells shattered under my magic.

But if Pan realizes that I know this, I'm only in more danger. He's already angry at me for breaking out Wendy. If he knows that I'm aware of my power, he might as well declare war on me.

_Oh, hell, Wendy! _

I turn to her, and I can see silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She looks so terrified and helpless, and she gives me a pleading look, as if begging me to help her.

_I won't let Pan hurt her anymore. He's angry at me right now, not her. I can use this. I can use that anger to protect her. _

"Wendy," I say, meeting her eyes. "Run."

She starts, and I can only see the fear grow in her eyes.

"What?" she murmurs, looking horrified at the idea.

I glance at Pan, then crouch down, so that I'm eye-level with her, making sure my back isn't to Pan. That would not be a wise move right now.

"Listen," I whisper, squeezing her arm reassuringly. "Bae is on the island. You need to find him, and tell him what you told me. He'll protect you. But you have to run Wendy. You have to run _now_."

Wendy turns to glance at Pan, whose expression is almost amused. Whether because I'm telling Wendy to run, or to find Bae, I'm not sure. But if I can give this girl a chance to escape, I'll give it to her. I'm not letting him hurt her the way he's hurt me.

"Hey, don't look at him," I tell her, drawing her focus back to me. "Look at me. I'm going to buy you time, alright? But I need you to run. I need you to run, Wendy."

There's a pregnant pause, as Wendy stares at me. She's terrified, but I can see some sort of small resolve in her eyes. Something telling her to trust me. Slowly, she gives me a shaky nod.

_Good girl._

"Go!" I prompt, giving her a small push to encourage her. "Go!"

Without a word, she turns and breaks out into a run, hitching her nightgown up to her knees as she moves. A minute later, and she is out of view, disappearing into the trees. The entire time, I keep a wary eye on Pan, in case he tries anything. He doesn't.

Instead, he lets out a dry chuckle once she's gone. I turn to face him again, my hands balled into fists. I have no idea what I'm going to do, and it scares the hell out of me.

"What?" I snarl, catching the smirk on his face.

Pan almost shrugs, glancing at the direction Wendy ran.

"You've only known her for a few minutes, and already you're protecting her," he replies, still amused. "Why does that not surprise me, Vin?"

I bite back a response, as I start trying to figure out some sort of option.

_He knows that I freed Wendy. But what else does he know? Does he know that I know he's the only one dying? That Henry's heart is only going to save him? That my brothers were never dying, and that he lied to me? _

I don't know. I don't know yet, so for now I have to wait.

"I'm curious," Pan continues, when I don't respond. "How _did_ you find out about Wendy? I put together those spells myself. No one would be able to find her unless I wanted them too."

_No one except him and Felix, he means. But then, he never counted on me turning to the Shadow for help. That it would tell me the truth, something Pan hasn't done in a long time._

"How do you think?" I ask, keeping my voice even.

I can't make a move, not until I know what he's planning. Until I know how much he knows.

_Keep calm_, I tell myself. _For all you know, he doesn't know the truth about Henry's heart, and he's only angry about Wendy. _

No, that's wrong. He knows about Henry's heart. He knows that he's been lying to me for years. I know him, and I know how he crafts his lies. He's been doing it for years, and I never noticed. And I'm through of not seeing his lies.

Pan arches an eyebrow at my reply, but I can see the realization in his eyes harden back to the cold anger he had before. He's figured it out. He knows how I learned about Wendy.

"I should have ripped that Shadow into an oblivion the moment it tried to kill me," he hisses, practically spitting, before he turns back to me.

I roll my eyes, feeling my own anger building up inside. He's angry at me, because the Shadow told me the truth. He's angry because realized that my brothers are safe, and that he has to kill an innocent boy to survive. Because I know that he's been keeping an innocent girl trapped, just as he's kept me trapped for years. And yet, he's angry at me?

"You didn't have a choice," I point out, trying to keep the venom out of my voice. "Remember? It took me sending it away. If it had to, it would have killed you. You couldn't have done anything."

I let the implications of that statement sink in. That I control the Shadow, not Pan. That Neverland favors me over him. That maybe, just maybe, I'm more powerful than him.

Pan frowns at my statement, and I look at him innocently, silently egging him on. This has to be the stupidest thing I've done. I'm trying to push him. To get him to react.

But it's worth it, if it gives Wendy time. With luck, she'll find Bae, and explain to him what is happening. If Bae knows the truth, he can explain what's happening to my brothers. They may not like it, but Wendy can back him up. And if Wendy was telling the truth about Felix knowing she was here… it's crazy, but it gives them a chance. It gives Wendy a chance to escape, Bae a chance to find his son, and Henry a chance to escape. But only so long as I keep Pan from them.

"And yet, you still trusted it enough to find Wendy" Pan replies angrily, taking a step closer to me. "Why? That thing tried to take you and kill us, Vin! Why would you suddenly start trusting it?"

_Oh, it's 'us' now? When I don't say anything, it's just him, but when I'm revealing the truth, it becomes 'us.'_

I clench my hands into fists, trying to keep calm. I need to, if I'm to give the others a chance.

_But I can't. Damn it, I can't! I'm so sick of his lies, pretending that my brothers are in danger. They aren't, and he knows it. _

"It tried to kill _you_!" I snap, pointing a finger at him. "Not the others. They were never in danger, only _you_."

As soon as the words come out, I wish I could take them back. Pan starts, looking at me with wide eyes. He knows. He knows that I know the truth. For all my attempts to stay calm, he knows what the Shadow told me.

_And any chance I had of keeping him fooled just died. Well done, Vin. Well done_.

Pan stares at me for a minute, his expression changing from surprise to confusion, to realization, to rage, to controlled, cold anger. If I thought he was angry about letting Wendy out of the cage, he's close to having a conniption now. I'm surprised he isn't killing me right now.

"So you know then," he says cooly.

It's not a question; he's simply stating the fact. Even if I try to lie my way out of this, there's no way it's going to work. He knows the truth, and he is angry.

And somehow… now that it's out, I feel a sense of certainty. As if something is now set in stone, and I can't change it. I may as well go with it.

"Yes," I reply, my voice equally calm. "The Shadow told me everything."

Pan curses under his breath, and he turns away. He puts his hands behind his head, and his body tenses. Even though he's not looking at me, I don't have to imagine the panicked expression on his face.

He's usually so controlled in the way he moves. Yet now his movements are stressed and uncontrolled.

Gods, I haven't seen him like this since… since… since the night I told him that I knew the truth about his son.

_He's scared_, I realize. _He's scared because I know the truth, and he knows that I'm more powerful. And worse, I'm just as angry as him. _

"It told me how you lied to me again," I continue, stepping closer to him, finally letting some of my anger loose. "How the boys aren't dying. How it was all a lie you told me, to get me on your side. That's all it was, wasn't it, Pan? A sick lie to trick me into helping you. When the truth is you're the only one who is dying. And to save yourself, you're trying to kill your great-grandson, an innocent kid! So you pretended the Lost Boys were dying so that I would help you kill Henry! You wanted me to help kill him!"

My voice rises with every sentence, until I'm shouting at him. By the time I'm done, I'm in arms length of him, and it's all I can do not to punch him. Pan is shaking his head, and I can tell he's trying to figure out some way to bring this back into his favor. But I'm not about to let that happen.

He lied to me. He tried to trick me into killing Henry. Bae's son, an innocent kid. He wanted me to kill Bae's son. And he used my brothers to do it. He knew that I wouldn't fight to save him, so he made me believe I was fighting for my brothers. He's lied to me, over and over again, making believe I was fighting to save my family, when I was only fighting to save him.

Anger doesn't truly define what I feel inside me. What I feel is hatred. True, undiluted hatred for Pan.

I would have killed an innocent boy, because of his lies.

"It was the only way," Pan murmurs, as if it changes anything.

"I don't care!" I shout in his face. "You lied to me. Again, and again, and again. About the boys, about Henry, about Bae, about everything! You would have forced me to kill Henry!"

"What was I supposed to do?" Pan shouts back, turning to face me, his eyes lit with frenzied panic. "You knew the truth. You knew that I traded my son for youth, but it was running out. You knew I was dying, but you still refused to help me. You told me you wouldn't help me, because you sided with the Lost Boys, and not me. So I gave you what I needed you to believe. I needed you to believe that your precious boys were dying, so that you would help me, because you refused to help me."

I roll my eyes, taking a step back.

"Even if I refused, you still would have done it," I reply bitingly. "You still would have kidnapped Henry, and tricked him into giving him your heart. You lied to get my help, but you still would have done it without me. Even now, I know the truth, and you're still planning to go through with it. You still want to kill Henry, so that you can buy yourself some more time. I don't care what you say, Pan, but that is _wrong_!"

Pan's eyes widen, and for a second, I flinch, afraid he's going to lash out at me.

_Every moment he's like this is another Wendy escapes,_ I tell myself.

But Pan doesn't lash out. Instead, his voice becomes softer. Almost sincere.

"I have no choice, Vin," he explains, desperately. "You know that. I'm down to my last days, Vin. Don't you understand? I've tried looking for alternatives, like your heart, but this is the only way. Don't you see that, Vin? Killing Henry is my only chance for survival. What would you have me do?"

_How can he even ask me that? It's his life for killing an innocent boy. Does he honestly think my answer is going to be one in his favor? _

I look him in the eye, and my angered eyes meet his desperate ones.

"Die," I reply, without hesitation. "You're supposed to die, Pan. You already regained your youth by abandoning your own son. You don't kill an innocent boy, so that you can live even longer. It's wrong, and it's unnatural. And you know it. That's why you told me that the boys were dying. Because you knew I would turn a blind eye to save them."

And even then, I still would not have done it. I still came to the decision that I would not kill Henry, before I knew that my brothers were safe. Even when I believed my brothers were dying, I still could not bring myself to kill an innocent boy.

It may sound harsh, but I don't care. He's already lived longer than he should have by abandoning his son. And what has he done with his extended youth? Kidnapped children, and manipulated us to try to help him live longer, by killing an innocent boy.

T_he Shadow was right. It should never have granted Pan his youth. Look what he's done to get it, and what he's planning to do to keep it. _

Pan stares at me, as if in shock. As if he can't believe I would say this. For a moment, we stand frozen, refusing to break our looks.

_Well, at the very least I'm buying Wendy time…_

"So what are you going to do, Vin?" Pan finally asks, quietly. "Give Henry back to Baelfire and the Savior? Let them leave Neverland? You might as well murder me, Vin. Because once Henry is gone, I'm as good as dead."

I look away at this, not wanting to acknowledge the truth behind this statement.

_But is he right?_ I wonder. _If I let Henry go, am I truly killing him? Will his blood be on my hands? _

No. That isn't the case. He may not like it, but what he says isn't true. I'm not killing him, if I let Henry go. He's had his time. He's had longer than he should have, giving up his son for youth. There's a reason Neverland only gave him so much time. He's avoided death for so long, his time should have come long ago. Everything has to come to an end, no matter how much he wants to go on.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Pan," I reply honestly. "But I can't let you hurt Henry. I won't let you kill an innocent boy."

Pan's expression reminds me of a cornered animal, scared, and ready to do anything to get out.

"So you're just going to leave me to die?" he exclaims, looking more and more out of control with every second.

It's strange. The more out of control he feels, the more sure I am that I'm doing the right thing. I know he doesn't want to die. I get that. But I know that I can't let him kill Henry. Even if it were my brothers dying, and not just him, I would still save Henry.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, and to my surprise, I mean it. "But I can't let you do this. I can't let you kill an innocent kid, let alone Bae's son. And it doesn't change that you lied to me to get me to kill him. You wanted me to kill my brother's son, Pan! And you expect me to help you?"

Pan meets my eyes, and I can see something inside him grow. Not desperation, but… resignation. Just like that, he knows that it's a lost cause. I'm not going to help him, and nothing he can say will change that. No matter what lies he tries to spin… there's no way I will help him kill Henry.

"So what are you going to do, Vin?" he asks. "How do you plan to explain my death to the boys? How will you tell them that you could have saved me, but you didn't?"

I bite my lip, before looking away. I hadn't thought about that. I know that I won't let him near Henry, but I never thought about how I'll tell my brothers why Pan died.

But maybe it will be better this way. I told him if he kept lying, I would lead them away from Pan. It turns out I don't have too. In a few days, he won't be alive.

_Gods, that sounds sick. But it's true. He dies, and he can't hurt them anymore. He can't manipulate them, or force them to dance to his music. He dies, and they are free of him. They may not see it, they may not like it when it happens, but it's true. They'll move on, in the end. _

But will they forgive me? If they know I could have saved Pan, but chose to save Henry, will they forgive me? Felix definitely won't. The others… probably won't either. Marcus might be wary of Pan, but we've been a family for so long. In their eyes, this will be betrayal. And they may never forgive me for not saving Pan.

_Am I really ready to give that up? Am I ready to sacrifice my brothers' love, in order to save Henry? _

"I don't know," I admit, still not looking at Pan. "But that's a risk I have to take. They may not forgive me, but I still won't let you hurt Henry. I have no other choice."

Pan looks at me, and for a moment, there is silence. He knows that he can't change my mind, so he isn't saying anything. But me, I'm still trying to figure this out.

_If I let Pan die, I could still lose my brothers. They may hate me forever. And I will know what that feels like, because I am bound to Neverland forever. I will know that hatred, for however long it lasts._

I know I have to save Henry. I won't change my mind about that. But still… the idea of my brothers, the ones whom I would die for without a second thought, never forgiving me… it would be kinder to let the Evil Queen rip my heart out.

"Maybe not," Pan murmurs, stepping closer to me.

He reaches out, and gently lifts my chin, so that I meet his eyes. His anger is gone, replaced by sincerity and what I can only describe as hopefulness. His hands are as cold as ice, and my skin crawls at his touch. He may be sincere now, but right now, I can only think of the bruises he's left me in the past few days.

"Turn a blind eye, Vin," Pan says, his voice low, almost husky. "Let me live."

The thought immediately makes me sick. I move away from his touch, and give him a look of pure disgust.

_That isn't an option. I'm not letting him kill an innocent boy so he can live longer. I'm sure as hell not turning a blind eye, and I'm not helping him kill Henry. After all he's done, after everything he plans to do to Henry, he doesn't get that chance. He doesn't get to try again. _

Pan grabs my arm as soon as I start to pull away, forcing me to stay close to him. His grip is tight, but not hard enough to give me a new set of bruises.

"Vin, listen," he says, his voice becoming urgent. "I know that you hate the idea, but hear me out. I'll admit, I've made some mistakes-"

I can't hold back a snort of derision at this, and roll my eyes.

_Mistakes? That's what he calls my bruises, his plans to kill Henry, his lies, his manipulation, and everything else he's done to me and my brothers? Mistakes? _

"But that doesn't mean I don't care about the boys," he continues, ignoring me. "For centuries, I've looked after them. I've kept them safe. And I know they are one of the few things you care about. So let me live. Let me help you protect them. Let's take care of them, together. You and me, just like old times."

He's so wrong, it's almost hilarious. Old times? We don't have any old times. Not like that anyways. No, our old times consist of me living on the run, trying to escape him, while he hunted Bae and I down like animals.

_But still,_ a voice in the back of my head whispers_, he could be right. He's led the boys for centuries. Be honest, he's probably reason the Lost Boys haven't fallen apart. He took the boys who were abused, unwanted, and unloved, and he gave them a family. If he goes… what happens to that, then? _

"And you're right," Pan concedes, as he sees me pause. "There are things I haven't told you. But I can tell you those things, Vin. I can teach you those things. You say that you trust the Shadow? The Shadow is weak. It's a coward."

I agree with him there. The Shadow might follow my orders now, but that still doesn't change everything it did before. Rather than tell me I'm more powerful than Pan, it tried to kill Pan. It did not help me escape Neverland before I drank the water. Hell, it knew Wendy was here, but didn't lift a finger to help her until I needed her.

_It's not bad… but it is still too devoted to its duty. Still, I trust it more than I do Pan. At least it tells the truth when I ask. _

"It won't help you, Vin," Pan continues, his voice dropping to a whisper. "It doesn't trust you. It won't help you unlock your true potential. It's too afraid. Afraid that you will go down a dark path, like I did, or my son did, or the Evil Queen. It will never show you what you are truly capable of, because it fears that you will allow yourself to be corrupted."

_I… I'm not sure how to reply to this. On the one hand, I know that the Shadow does trust me. It has acknowledged that I'm more powerful than Pan, that it has to follow me. So it will show me what I'm capable of. And yet… Pan has a point._

The Shadow won't teach me everything. Just in case I go down Pan's path. Just in case I let the magic corrupt me. I won't let that happen, but it's a reasonable risk the Shadow can't take.

And what happens when I need something it has refused to teach me? It has kept things from me for my own safety before. What happens my brothers are in danger, and I can't save them because the Shadow is too concerned with my safety.

_Damn him, it makes sense! _

I meet Pan's eyes, and he sees my hesitation. His smirk returns, as he leans closer into my personal space, his lips only a hair's breadth away from my ear. Shivers run down my spine, and I try to force myself from tensing.

"But _I_ can teach you, Vin," he whispers, almost seductively. "There are things that only I can show you. Things only I can teach you, if you want. I can show you what you are truly capable of. There are places we can travel, where we can learn more. We can learn how to use that power inside you, and use it to protect them. And no one will ever hurt our family again. But only if you let me live."

I close my eyes, trying to figure this out. He's wrong. I know he's wrong. I'm not letting him kill Henry to let him live. I'll never do that, no matter the cost.

_But he's right about this. He dies, and I have to take care of my brothers. I have to learn how to protect my brothers. It won't be easy, but I can-_

Wait.

What did he say?

"_There are places we can travel."_

But that's impossible. I'm bound to Neverland. I can't leave without dying; he knows this.

So why say that? Why pretend like we could go to places outside of Neverland?

_Maybe it was a slip of the tongue_, I tell myself. _He forgot. He forgot I was bound, and it just slipped out. _

No, that's not the case. Something inside me tells me it isn't. He was the one who held me under the water. He was the one who told me he was clipping my wings. He was the one who decided to bind me to Neverland. He wouldn't just forget to something like that.

_So why would he say that I could leave? If I'm bound to Neverland, how could I go with him? _

Unless…

_Oh gods. Oh gods! _

"I could have left," I whisper, realization flooding through me.

Pan blinks, obviously not expecting this answer.

"What?" he asks in confusion, not moving away from me.

Oh gods, it's true. I should have seen it years ago. I drank the water… but that doesn't mean I was necessarily bound to Neverland. David only became bound when he drank, but that was because he was poisoned. Hook even told me about the water, that it could save someone from Dreamshade.

_What if that's the case? What if someone has to be poisoned, and saved by the water, to be bound to Neverland? If that's true… then I was never bound to Neverland. I could have left. _

I step back, my head reeling.

I could have left… I could have left all along.

_Gods, why didn't I see it before? I could have left, before any of this ever happened. I could have left with Bae, I could have gone home. I could have gone home! _

I could have been with Abby.

I feel my eyes sting with tears at the thought. My mind flashes to the picture Bae showed me when we left with Henry. The picture of my beautiful sister, grown and happy. Then, I think of her desperate letter, what she probably believed would be the last thing she could ever tell me.

I missed that. I missed my sister growing up into a beautiful young woman. I missed her life.

I could have been there, though. I could have been there to see her grow up. I could have been there, when she needed me.

_Hell, I could have grown up. I could have gone back, and had a life. I could have grown up, and lived my own life, free of Pan._

But I didn't. Because Pan made me believe that I was trapped here. He made me believe that I was bound to Neverland.

_And why? At first, because he thought my heart could help him. After that? Because he liked playing his games with me. He liked toying with my mind, manipulating me like a puppet on strings. He couldn't let me leave, because he enjoyed playing with me too much. He couldn't tell me the truth, because winning his game was more important to him. _

But I could have been there for Abby. Or for Bae, when he got out. I could have been there, and I wasn't. Because he lied to me. Again.

_I could have left, all along. _

Suddenly, I don't have to imagine Pan's rage. I feel it inside, in tenfold. I could have left, and I didn't, because of his lies.

I look at Pan, and the confusion is still clear on his face. He doesn't know that I've figured it out. That I know about his greatest lie to me. Because if he did, he would be running away from me. He should. He should run like hell.

But there is still hope in his eyes. Hope that his ruse worked. That he convinced me to kill an innocent boy so he can live. I almost sneer at the thought, my anger growing with every second.

_He crushed my hope years ago, when he forced me to drink that water. But that was just a lie, to make me stay put. But I could have left. I could have left. He crushed my hope that day. It's my turn. _

"You want my help with Henry?" I ask, my voice deadly soft. "You want my answer? Well here it is, Pan. GO TO HELL!"

Without a second thought, I let loose all magic I have, and let it take shape in the form of electricity. It runs through my hands, and flies out, directly at Pan.

It sends him falling back a few feet, and he lets out a cry of pain.

Good. It's about time he got a taste of his own medicine.

"I COULD HAVE LEFT, PAN!" I scream, seeing red. "I could have left after I drank the water! I could have been with my sister!"

With each sentence, I send another burst of electricity at him, preventing him from getting up. He struggles, obviously trying to stand, but I keep knocking him down.

_Bet it doesn't feel that great when he's the one being pushed around. _

"And you think I'm still going to help you?" I ask, half-astonished. "That I'm going to help you _live_ by killing _Bae's son_? You're a goddamned idiot, Pan!"

I send another burst flying at him, but Pan gains enough sense to roll out of the way. He looks at me, and his face is the embodiment of terror.

"Vin-" he gasps, but I let out a wordless shout, and send a fireball flying at him, cutting him off.

"No!" I snarl, advancing towards him. "You've said your piece. My turn, you fucking bastard! I told you that you would pay if you lied to me. Well, you've done nothing but lie to me. Do you think I'll let you get away this? With killing Henry, with lying to keep me here? That I'll let you live, that I'll let you control Neverland after everything you have done to me? You're wrong, you son of a bitch! You're wrong!"

Pan tries to crawl away, so I send another fireball at him. It misses him by an inch, but it's enough for him to yelp with shock.

When I'm done with him, he'll wish that fire and electricity is all I did. The bastard has it coming.

"Do you know what it's like?" I ask, a flame dancing warningly in one hand, electricity sparking in the other. "To believe that you have lost your entire world? Because that's what I felt when you made me drink the water, Pan. Do you know what that feels like? It feels like _this_!"

I send both the fire and the electricity at him at the same time, and he lets out a cry of pain, his face contorted in agony.

"And do you want to know the hilarious thing?" I ask, almost mockingly, as I stand above him. "The Shadow told me _everything_. It told me the real reason you put up those barriers to keep out the nightmares. The real reason you have tried so hard to get me to break. Because you fear me. You're afraid that I'll take Neverland from you, and leave you to die like a dog. But if you had let me leave, if you had let me escape Neverland that day, I would have stayed away."

I'm now hovering over him, and I reach out and grab the front of his shirt, pulling him so that we are nose to nose. I see the fear in his eyes, and he lets out a gasp.

"But instead, you insisted that I had to stay," I hiss. "So you could try to get my heart. You made me stay and you trained me. You dug your own grave, when all you wanted was to climb out of it! I told you, once, that if you lied to me, I would lead the Boys away from you. So that's what I'm going to do, Pan. I'm going to tell them the truth, and we're going to leave you alone. And you'll know that feeling of despair. The one you put us all through, so we can dance to your damn music. Because, in the end, Pan, you lost your own game."

I lift my free hand, ready to send some new form of magic at him, when his hand suddenly shoots out, stopping my wrist.

_What? _

I look at him in surprise. The fear is still in his eyes, but something else is shoving it back. Anger… but determination as well.

Suddenly, I'm flying back, away from him. I hit the ground, not hard, but enough to surprise me. Adrenaline gets me to my feet immediately. Pan has gotten to his feet as well, and he's smirking.

Something's changed, I realize. Something I said, something gave him the resolve to fight. Or maybe that resolve was always there, and it took the fear of dying alone to fan the flame.

"Sorry, Vin," Pan says, looking anything but sorry. "But I can't let you do that."

I nearly roll my eyes, silently letting the chaotic magic of Neverland flow through me. If he's going to fight me, I'm going to need all the magic I can get.

"What?" I ask, half sarcastically. "Lead the Boys from you, when you've done nothing but manipulate them for centuries? Or let Henry and his family leave, and keep you from killing an innocent kid?"

"Both," Pan replies calmly, lifting his hand.

Vines suddenly spring from the ground, and start wrapping themselves tightly around my legs. Without a second thought, I send flames flying down at the vines. The effect is immediate; the vines start falling back, and I leap out of the way, so that the flames don't burn me as well.

Pan looks at me, and glances at the burning vines. His smirk doesn't change, but I can see his eyes flicker as he reevaluates his strategy.

"You've been practicing, Vin," he comments, eyebrow arching.

_No, I'm not letting him distract me. He's lied to me. He lied to me to keep me here, when I could have gone home to my sister. I am not showing him any mercy. He's never shown me any. _

"Like I said, the Shadow told me the truth," I reply, sending another fireball flying at him.

Pan dodges, but I can practically see the wheels in his head turning as he tries to figure out his next move.

_So move, idiot!_ I tell myself. _Get the jump on him before he has a chance to figure it out. _

Without thinking, I send a jet of ice flying at him. It immediately encases his arm and he cries out in pain. A second later, the ice is gone, but I can see the area where it hit. It's red, and looks painful.

I grin.

Pan looks back at me, and this time he's glaring at me. And I don't care. Let him come at me. I'll make him feel the pain he's put me through for twenty-nine years.

"So that's how it is," he states, not even bothering to ask.

Suddenly, blinding, white-hot pain hits me, nearly knocking the breath out of me. It feels like I'm being stabbed with red hot knives, over and over again.

_Oh, gods! Gods!_

I let out a cry of pain, and nearly fall to my knees. I open my eyes, and see that Pan is standing behind me, his hand on my shoulder, and his eyes ablaze with fury.

_Oh gods! _

_Teleport_, I remember through the pain. _He can teleport. _

"I've got news for you too, Vin," he sneers, as he sends another burst of pain into me. "In all our training, I've been going easy on you."

_Gods, it hurts! _

Without thinking, I let Neverland's magic flow through me, and I grab his hand and imagine electricity at my fingertips.

Pan instantly cries out with shock, and lets go of me. It's all I can do not to collapse. Instead, I look at him, and think of all that's happening.

_He lied to me to keep me here. He lied to me to make me kill Henry. Even if I go down, he's still going to kill Henry. So the solution is simple: I can't go down. _

I turn, not giving Pan a moment of rest, and imagine him flying back, away from me. He instantly is pushed back by an unseen force, and flies in the air for several feet, before landing hard on his back. As soon as he's down, I send another fireball his way.

_I guess I picked up on a thing or two, fighting the Evil Queen. _

I start to advance on him, but before I even take two steps, Pan disappears, and reappears behind me. I don't have time to think, when he spins me around, and punches me in the jaw.

_Ow! _

The force of the punch sends me falling to my knees, but Pan still grips me by my shoulder, in the exact spot where he left his last set of bruises.

"You brought this on yourself, Vin!" he hisses, panting slightly.

He starts to punch me again, and I see black bees dancing angrily in front of me as pain erupts again.

_No, damn it, I will not black out! I will not go down because of two bloody punches from this bastard! _

I let out a shout, and let loose any magic that was flowing through me. Not in any form, just a pure release of magic, like I did when fighting the Dark One and the Evil Queen. The force is just enough to get Pan to lose his grip, and adrenaline gets me on my feet. I taste something metallic in my mouth, and I realize it's blood.

_Don't give him an inch!_ I tell myself. _Don't give the bastard a single, damn inch! _

I draw my knives, and send them flying at him at the same time. He cries out as one cuts his arm, the other grazing his shoulder.

_He shouldn't have taught me that either. _

Pan looks at me and snarls, before sending another unseen force at me, effectively knocking me down. As soon as I hit the ground, I realize I'm panting for breath. I look up at Pan, and I can see he's doing the same. It's all he can do to not collapse with exhaustion. I know the feeling, because it's all I'm feeling right now.

"The Shadow was right," Pan says, his arrogance somehow coming through, despite his panting. "You are more powerful than me. But, Vin, I've been here for centuries. I've learned things you could never dream of. You've only had a few years to learn about your magic. This isn't a fight you can win."

I struggle to try to get on my feet again, and a drop of blood falls from my mouth.

He's probably right. The pain he made me feel, and the blows to the face tell me that much.

But then I think of Henry. Of his innocent face, of the trust he showed me, when he should never have trusted me at all.

_I'm not letting him die. Damn it, I'm not letting Henry die! _

"Yeah," I admit, blood still dripping past my mouth. "That's true. And guess what, you sick son of a bitch? I don't care."

I look up at him, and somehow manage to smile, blood soaking through my teeth.

"This ends two ways," I point out, enjoying the shock on Pan's face. "Either I win this, and get Henry out. Or you beat me, and go after Henry. And the only way I'm letting you do that is over my dead body, Pan. And when you come back for Henry, the Boys are going to wonder what happened to me. They're not idiots, Pan. They'll put two and two together. They'll know that you killed me. You really think they'll let the guy who killed their sister walk away?"

I slowly get to my feet, and let Neverland's magic flow through me again. I don't care how tired I am. I don't care what he has up his sleeve. I promised Henry I would give my life for him if I had too. If this is how I go down, stopping Pan from getting him, then it's worth every second.

Pan doesn't say anything to my point, which only confirms that he knows I'm right. He knows that my brothers will figure it out if he kills me. He knows that if he kills me in this fight, they're going to know he did it.

Either way, I win.

_Point to Vin. _

A crazed look grows in Pan's eyes, and he launches himself towards me. My sixth sense tells me that he's drawing in his own dark magic, and getting ready to use it.

_Well, he wasn't lying to me about one thing: he definitely isn't going easy on me this time. _

I stand my ground though, ready to counter his attack, drawing in even more magic.

Without thinking, I suddenly imagine myself right behind him.

There's suddenly a tug in my gut, and the next thing I know, I'm standing right behind Pan, feet away from where I stood before.

_What? _

Whatever happened, it surprises Pan, because he stops in confusion, the momentum temporarily tripping him. He whirls around, staring at me in shock.

At that moment, I realized what I just did.

_So… that's how he teleports. _

I can't hold back a grin, as I realize what this means. I've figured out one of his best methods of fighting. I've just evened the odds against me.

_I can win this. _

Without wasting a second, I imagine myself behind Pan again. I feel the same tug in my gut, and in a blink of an eye, I'm behind him again. Pan starts to turn to face me, and I don't hesitate.

I grab him, using his momentum to throw him off balance, and release any remaining magic that has flowed through me.

It's just enough to knock him to the ground.

_Yes. Yes, this is it. I've got him! _

_I've got the bastard! _

I drop down, on top of him, my legs spread on either side of him, effectively pinning him to the ground.

His face is swelling in some areas, and he's bleeding where I threw the knives. Some of his flesh is burned as well.

And to think, once upon a time, I was afraid of him.

_Then again, why wouldn't I be? It was all part of the lie he created. The lie that made me believe that he was more powerful. That my brothers were dying, and that I needed to kill an innocent boy to save them. That I had to stay in Neverland, otherwise I'd die. All lies. _

I was right. He's no different than the man he was before he gave up his son. Using us to get what he wants, then dropping us as soon as he doesn't need us. He is like my father.

I know I have him down, and that I'm exhausted. Adrenaline and anger is still burning through me.

I have him down. I don't have to take this further. I can just keep him down and end this. I shouldn't let myself go further.

But the rage inside me is still consuming me, and it takes control. The years that Abby spent alone, the years she spent hoping I'd escape… I could have been there for her, all along.

"I could have left!" I yell, letting my fist fall, punching him in the jaw.

Pain erupts in my hand, and I don't care.

"You wanted me to kill Henry!" I shout, landing another punch, this time in his stomach. "I could have left! You wanted me to kill Henry!"

Sweat, blood, and… tears are running down my face, as I land another punch with every time.

Damn, why am I crying? Because I know everything he did to me? Because all of it was a lie? Because everything I am came from a lie? I chose to love the Lost Boys, to be a Lost Girl, to be Vin. I chose to help kill Henry, just as I chose to save him.

But all of that came from lies. I never would have made any of those choices if I had known the truth. If I had known I could leave. Everything I am now, it all came from his lies.

I repeat the two sentences like a prayer. As if I'm reminding both of us why I have to keep hitting him. My knuckles are bleeding, and my arm is exhausted.

_But damn it, I don't care! _

"You took me from my home!" I cry, my voice growing hoarse. "You took me from my family! You made me believe I was trapped here! You took Hook from me! You took Bae from me! You took Abby from me! You. Made. Me. Into. _This!_"

_Aagh! _

Without warning, a sudden, blinding pain erupts at my temple, throwing me into shock. I let out a small shout, involuntarily falling off of Pan.

_Gods… gods, I can't even think… what is that…_

I force my eyes to open, even though I want to do nothing but keep them closed. As soon as they're open, black spots dance angrily in front of me, threatening to swallow me whole.

I see Pan's blurred figure slowly getting to his feet. Beside him is a trembling figure, all in white.  
_Wait… I know her…_

"Wendy…" I gasp, doing everything I can to focus through the pain.

Wendy starts at her name, and drops the large rock in her hand.

_The rock… she must have hit me with… what? _

"I'm sorry," Wendy whimpers, sounding close to tears. "I'm so sorry, Vin. I'm so sorry."

_She was supposed to be running… She was supposed to find Bae… I was buying her time…_

"Wendy," I whisper, trying to get to my feet. "What…"

Her and Pan's figures are swimming in front of me, and I fall the moment I try to stand. I just try to focus, but all I feel is dazed.

"He'll kill my brothers," Wendy sobs. "I'm sorry. But he'll kill my brothers. I can't… I can't…"

Before I can even make sense of this, I see Pan's blurred figure make his way to me. I let out a sharp gasp of pain as he grabs a fistful of my hair, and pulls me up to face him.

Even in my dazed pain, I recognize the hatred and… desire in his eyes. As if some part of him wants to kill me, the other wants to give me another set of bruises.

Then, I feel a jolt of pain in my neck, and the darkness I've been trying to fight off swallows me whole.

The last thing I see before I black out is Pan's smirk.

* * *

Vin collapsed as soon as Peter hit her. It had taken almost all his remaining strength to knock her out, but he needed to do it. He couldn't let her get back on her feet and attack him again.

Peter sighed, as he lay Vin on the ground at his feet, before wiping his bleeding cheek.

Damn, she had hit hard.

Wendy was off to the side, sobbing her heart out as she looked at Vin lying helpless on the ground. No doubt she felt wracked with guilt for hurting the person who was trying to help her. Any other time, and Peter might have been proud of Wendy. She had weighed her options, and decided she couldn't risk him killing John and Michael. Even at the cost of betraying Vin.

But not this time. This time, Peter was ready to collapse and fall asleep next to Vin. He wiped away some more blood with the back of his hand, and slowly started focusing on using his magic to heal himself.

He would never admit it to anyone, but the fight had been exhausting. It was all he could now to stay on his feet. But he couldn't collapse. Not yet.

There would be time for rest. After he had the Heart of the Truest Believer, and sealed his immortality.

But all of that was falling apart, he realized with a jolt. He hated to think about it, but it was all coming apart.

Only a few hours ago, he had reached out to Henry at camp, only for the boy to snap at him for hiding his family from him. That had caught Peter off guard.

He didn't know how Henry knew about his family, especially given the measures that he had taken to ensure that the boy never knew about his family's presence in Neverland. And yet, somehow, the boy knew.

But he had brushed it off, then. He should have realized something like this would have happened. That the boy would put up some sort of final resistance, before he decided to hand over his heart. There was no trouble with that.

So he had made a plan. Wendy. Bring her out to play, and give Henry what he always wanted: to be like his family. To be a hero, risking his life to save an innocent girl, like his father, his mother, and his grandparents would.

And then he had felt it. Somehow, he could feel the spells concealing Wendy falling apart, and he knew someone had discovered her. And there was only one person strong enough to do that. And she was lying at his feet.

He had hoped that she would never know the truth. That she would never know the true extent of her powers. Not until he taught her.

If she had just waited a little longer, let him teach her a little more, he could have convinced her. He could have let her fulfill her true potential, but still convince her that he was more powerful than her.

But no. Instead that blasted Shadow told her everything. The truth about her powers, the Lost Boys, everything.

And now, she was lying on the ground, unconscious and bleeding. She had put up a hell of a fight, and it showed.

Peter sighed, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

He had been foolish. He had been so attracted to her spirit, the fire in her, that he let down his guard. He had tried to convince her to let him live, but instead he got carried away. He had enjoyed playing with her fire too much, even in his moment of trying to bring her back to his side. And in the end, she had burned him badly.

He looked down at her, trying to figure out the mess he was in.

He couldn't make her disappear. No, the boys would notice her absence, and they would wonder. He couldn't have that.

_Besides_, he thought, looking her over. _I can't let her go just yet. Not before the game is over. Not before I control that fire inside of her, and I break her. _

Even now, when she had done everything in her power to hurt him, as she was lying unconscious, and bleeding, Peter had to admit… she was beautiful.

_Damn_, he thought as he bent over and started to heal the injuries on her face without thinking. _She was trying to kill me, and she was still leading me on. Still tempting me onwards, with something I couldn't have. _

"Doesn't work that way, love," he whispered, as the injuries on her face vanished. "You don't lead me around like a dog on a leash. I do it to you. I lead you around, if I have to put the collar on myself."

She didn't respond or react to his words, which only confirmed that she was truly asleep. That worked well for Peter. He couldn't have her waking up and trying to kill him again.

Which lead him back to the question: what was he going to do with her?

"I… I did well, right?" Wendy suddenly piped up. "You won't… you won't hurt John or Michael now, will you?"

Honestly, Peter couldn't care less about Wendy and her brothers at the moment. He had much bigger problems, and many of which were caused by Vin.

"Yes, Wendy," he replied absently. "You did well."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wendy sigh with relief. The girl would do anything for her brothers. Vin would too, which was why it had been essential she never know that it was only Peter dying, not the others.

And yet, she still found out. And now, all his plans, all his work for centuries, was all coming crashing down around Peter, and he had no idea how to stop it.

He couldn't let Vin go, so that she could warn Henry or the others. He had seen her fire in action. He had seen it flare, when she attacked him. He knew from all the years of playing their game that she would not stop until she got Henry and Baelfire to safety.

Especially now that she knew the truth about the water. It only gave her reason to hate him, and do everything in her power to let him die. And Peter refused to let that happen.

But he couldn't keep her from camp, either. Eventually the others would catch on, and realize something had happened. He couldn't have that.

So how…

Peter suddenly stopped, his eyes falling on Wendy. She froze the second he lay eyes on her, her face tear stained from her guilty crying. Her hair was a mess, her nightdress dirty, but those things could easily been taken care of. Wendy had been the picture of innocence, the perfect card to play to convince little Henry to hand over his heart.

But now…

Peter looked back at Vin. He had healed her minor injuries, but still kept her unconscious. His own injuries were gone. There were no signs of their fight.

Perhaps… perhaps he had chosen the wrong girl to play the dying victim.

Wendy was an innocent, true. But Henry _knew_ Vin. He had formed a bond with her. He trusted her, let her take care of him, despite being among enemies. Somehow, she had won him over, just as she won over all the other Lost Boys.

He could use this. It was only too perfect.

If there was one thing Peter knew about Henry's family, it was that they always risked themselves for innocents. But, if there were anyone else they risked themselves even more for, it was their friends and family.

Henry might offer his heart to save an innocent Wendy. But to save a dying Vin, his friend…

Yes, Peter could work with this.

"Wendy," Pan said, straightening. "Get back in your cage. I'll have some chores for you later, but right now I have to focus on Vin."

Wendy flinched at the mention of going back to her cage, so Peter sent a warning glare her way. She flinched again under his glare, but still dutifully went back into her cage a few feet away. Peter followed her, shutting the cage door as soon as she was inside, and setting the lock.

"You're not going to hurt her, are you?" asked Wendy, as soon as she was inside the cage. "She was only trying to help me…"

Peter grinned, his mind racing with his new plan for Vin.

"Don't worry, Wendy," he said, letting go of the lock, and winking at her through the bars. "I still have plans for her. And for you too. I expect you'll play your part well."

Wendy nodded, and slowly backed further into her cage, curling herself into a ball. Peter could see her shoulders shaking from silent sobs, no doubt thinking about betraying Vin. Peter considered putting up some sort of spell to hide her, but decided against it. It had taken him almost a month to put together all his spells to hide Wendy, and Vin had simply shattered them. Besides, he was going to bring her out within a day or so. No point in wasting his energy.

Peter didn't bother to comfort the girl. She would get over it soon enough. And he had faith that Wendy would play her part when the time came. She, like Vin, would do anything to protect Vin.

Speaking of Vin…

Pan teleported back to her. The act had practically become second nature to him. He was surprised Vin hadn't figured it out ages ago. Putting the thought aside, he bent down and picked her up bridal style. She was still unconscious, and her face was almost peaceful. He was almost tempted to wait a little while. The next couple of days were going to be painful for her.

He knew she wouldn't willingly play her part for Henry, but there were ways. Ways of ensuring she wouldn't fight back, that she wouldn't tell Henry the truth. Ways to make sure she would still play her role, no matter how badly she didn't want to.

_This could break her_, he realized, as he started to walk away. _Once she knows her part in Henry's death, her soul will be shattered. _

Peter could only grin at the thought.

**End of Part Four**

* * *

**A/N: Out of the frying pan, into the fire...**

Yay! I've been waiting so long to get to this chapter! I had a ton of fun writing it, and I hoped that y'all had just as much fun reading it. Normally, I hate writing fight scenes with a passion. But for some reason, this one just clicked. I actually finished it a few days ago, but life got in the way, and I couldn't find time to update. But, hey, better late than never!

A special thanks to **Jessenia22, mysterygirloflife, Lilsnickerz123, caritos13, **and **RoseHamilton** for putting this story on alert, and to **smilin steph, Jessenia22, mysterygirloflife, Anthem of The Lonely Children, **and **harrypotterlover444** for favoriting it. Also, thank you **Authora97, GiraffePanda2, chinaluv, LeopardFeather, LunaEvanna Longbottom, mercenary2.0, WrittenWithLove765, ColdHeartAngel, spatterson, ChristineDaae-ThePrincess, Taeniaea, Lady Deebo, ReginaQueenofHogwarts, smilin steph, meguhanu, Iron Fist 32, **Neverland Dreamer, SuperFanNumber1, and all the guest reviewers who left awesome reviews for the chapter! And, as always, thank you to **Uncommon fairy, **my amazing beta!

Please follow, favorite, review, or whatever y'all want. Feedback on Pan's perspective and the fight are especially appreciated. I had a great time writing the fight, and I'm eager to hear what y'all thought of it! **:) **


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